You Would Think That I Would Feel Better Since We've Been Broken Up For Over A Month Now, But In Reality

I don't

wanna lose my bestfriend. I feel like we're drifting apart and I don't like it at all. Please don't leave me alone like this. I want it all to go back to how it was before. When we talked on the phone at night and we talked for hours about nothing. What I would give for all of that back. I hate this feeling so much. I wish I could could have it all back.

How Petty

I’ve come to the realization that people now a days can be downright petty and ridiculous. Yeah, I’m sure some of you have known that from the beginning, and yeah it took me a little longer to notice. Reason I’m writing about this is because I’ve had some “friends” who thought that it was a good idea to be super petty. Example number 1: I currently live with a good friend of mine that I’ve known since freshman year. When I first moved in with her, things were great. It was just the two of us and her dog. The apartment was super clean and neat and things were awesome. I was genuinely happy. Well some shit happened and we had to move out of that particular apartment into another one in the same complex. I thought things were gonna be the same... Man was I wrong. First off; when we were in the process of moving, she had invited 2 other people to stay with us in a 2 bedroom apartment without so much as asking me how I felt about it. That really irked my nerves because the people that lived with us weren’t the cleanest and it was too much. There were too many women in that apartment and we all started fighting and what not. Well, in the midst of them living with us, they would eat or drink things that weren’t theirs. So my roommate started labeling things that she bought so the other 2 living with us wouldn’t touch anything. Understandable. Well when they finally moved out, my roommate continued labeling things that she had bought. Clearly I didn’t buy it so I know not to touch it of course unless I asked you, so why be petty and label? Well this has been going on for months and now that her ogre is gone, it should change. I hope. Now on to the second “friend” I had that decided to be petty for no damn reason. So I work overnights and it sucks sometimes because some of my friends want to go out and they want me to tag along. Well one Saturday night came along and my friends all wanted to take a vacation to Cocoa Beach. They rented a hotel right off the beach and wanted to go get away from everything and they had invited me out there with them; of course I wanted to go but I knew that I had to go to work, so I called out. Big deal, it was my first time since I started this job so I wasn’t worried about it. And I’m glad I did because I had an awesome weekend. Now fast forward to the Saturday after this one: when Hurricane Matthew came through here me and a few friends went to one of their grandmothers house to stay safe from the storm. Well we went there on Thursday and left Friday afternoon. My job was closed down for those 2 days for obvious reasons. Unsafe conditions to work in. Well Saturday rolls around and I knew I had to work, so I prepared like I normally would and my friends had made plans to go out and have a night out at a club called Southern Nights; which is a gay club. They wanted me to go really bad, so I thought about it all day and finally decided to call out. We went out and had a kick ass night. One of the best nights I’d had in a while. Well one of the people I work with that called themselves my “friend” decided it would be funny if they put my business on blast AT MY JOB. When you wanna risk someone’s job, risk your own. If you have to be so petty to risk someone else’s job; you’re pathetic. I just wanted to get this off of my chest as it’s been bothering me since it happened.

The most amazing picture my camera has taken of the moon, I absolutely adore my new camera (:

>:(

getting really tired of my money getting played with at work. I’m supposed to be getting paid $10 an hour and our payroll system still says that I’m getting paid $9 an hour. I’m not gonna keep saying something about it to anyone. I’m getting fed up with it.... If I have to ask one more time, I will change my line of business. I can’t work for a business that could give a rats ass about it’s employees.... it’s either the company or the TL’s don’t do the shit they say they are gonna do. I’m getting sick of it.

Late night thoughts 4/20

I’m laying in bed, and I’m thinking of you. For some reason tonight, your face is burned into my mind and all the memories we shared are playing over and over. I miss you, like crazy and I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness. I’m so alone without you. I may seem happy, but the smile I paste on my lips isn’t real. It’s as fake as a hookers tits. I know, I’m thousands of miles away from you, but even distance can’t make my heart forget you. The distance can’t take the picture of your smile out of my mind, nor can it dislodge your voice from my ears. All I can hear is you calling me baby, and telling me that you love me. Why must you do this to me? Why must your face be burned into my mind? I’m not happy that you’re moving to NC… I moved away from NY to get away from you, to try and pick up all the little pieces you shattered my heart into. And you’re making it hard, even not talking to you, it doesn’t make me love you any less. I’ll love you until the day that I die. I hope that someday soon I can finally paste a real smile on my face and be genuinely happy. But until that day, I guess I’ll just be alone and depressed. I love you to the moon and back, darling. Goodnight…