Adapted from my favorite poem about hope, from anyone who is going through it tonight.
I hate being too desperate to see the good in people, to the point where I overlook every horrible thing they do just because they were 'nice to me' that one time.
Don't make the mistake of being so understanding and forgiving that you overlook the fact that you're being disrespected.
:> @raven-thingie you're an American pie and I do it.
in the US we only have 3 genders. american beauty, american psycho, and american pie
I'm gonna go feral don't try and stop me đš
Pookies
I kicked my legs, giggled, squealed and rolled around on my bed. This is too much cuteness I have stopped working.
âCrystal?â Nikoâs voice over the phone is a shaky whisper.
Crystal immediately juggles her keys and groceries to grab her phone properly. âAre you okay?â
âIâm fine,â Niko says quietly. âBut something weird is happening.â
Crystal shoves her front door open with her shoulder as the FaceTime request dings. She drops the groceries in the foyer and accepts it. Instead of Nikoâs lovely face filling the screen, itâs a shaky shot of the doorway to the office. âWhat am I looking at?â
âI donât know,â Niko whispers. âThatâs why I called you.â She steps forward and the phone camera almost immediately gives up in the face of very bright light. âAw, you canât see it.â The camera flips back to reveal Nikoâs face bathed in the radiance. Crystal notes with some relief that Niko looks more awed than hurt.
âBabe,â Crystal says patiently. âWhatâs going on?â
âThereâs like a glowing orb. Itâs all pretty colors. Like pink and blue. Itâs sitting on Edwinâs desk and heâs not here. Neither of them areââ
âYeah, no, they are,â Crystal sighs. âTheyâre Venn diagramming.â
Niko tilts her head in frame, puppyish confusion that makes Crystal just want to scoop her up and kiss her face all over. âWhat?â
âYou know what a Venn diagram is.â Niko nods at her. Neither of them probably got enough school but they did go. âSo the Venn diagram of ghosts who love each other is a circle,â Crystal explains, smirking a little. Edwin had been so mad the first time she said it, which only made it funnier.
"Ohhhhh," Niko says, eyes widening with understanding. "That's clever."
Crystal thinks she probably looks as smug as she feels. âThey have a ghost form that doesnât require them to exert as much energy. Theyâre just spirit orbs. Usually you only see spirit orbs floating faintly in the background, even if you have the Sight. Theyâre a low-energy form. Apparently, at some point, the boys figured out that if their orbs touch, they can meld together.â
âThat sounds dirty,â Niko laughs.
âIt probably is! Anyway, Charles and Edwin glow so fuckinâ brightly when theyâre together. Sometimes itâs just a partial meld and sometimes they become one giant glowing orb. I usually like to check in with them, but donât touch them. They can sense some things while in that form so I donât want to bother them. I just don't like leaving them alone since itâs also a vulnerable time and I prefer to make sure no other ghosts intrude on them either. You know people show up at the office at all hours.â
âSooooooâŚwant to come over?â Niko asks, raising a perfect eyebrow. âGirlsâ Night at the Ghost Orb?
âSure,â Crystal laughs. âItâs a date. Iâll be right over. You want anything?â
âBring some of the soda and the matcha we picked up last weekend. I was gonna stash some at the office anyway for when we have late nights.â
âAlright. Love you, babe. Donât touch the orb and Iâll see you soon.â Crystal blows a little kiss to the camera and watches Nikoâs face crease with delight. Niko blows her a kiss too and then signs off.
***
Crystal can see the bright light even through the door and contemplates whether a door shade might be helpful. She walks into the office humming.
For the second time today, she drops her grocery bag on the floor. She rips her headphones out and puts her hands on her hips. âWhat did I say about touching the orb, Niko?â
Niko looks up from where she isâŚwell, spooning the ghost orb on the couch. She is so damn good at the puppy eyes that Crystal almost forgets that she asked a question. Almost.
âBabe, seriously!?â
âThey almost fell off the desk!â Niko protests, pouting. âI had to catch them. And they glow more when I touch them.â She traces a gentle fingertip over the top curve of the orb nestled against her and it erupts in pink swirls over a dark blue background.
Crystal sighs. âAlright.â In fairness, the boys never specifically prohibited touching, it just seemed polite. And probably, they wonât mind because itâs Niko and both of them find her utterly charming; Crystal canât even be offended by that because she also thinks her girlfriend is adorable. She rummages in the grocery bag for a soda and uses her keys to pry the lid off the bottle. She takes a sip and then motions at Niko. âLift your head up.â
Niko moves obligingly, giving Crystal enough space to sit at the end of the couch before she drops her head into Crystalâs lap.
âSee,â Niko says sweetly. âNow weâre all comfy.â She grabs the edge of her tunic top and uses it to scoop the orb up closer to her stomach. Helpfully, this also mutes the bright light, at least from Crystalâs point of view. She pulls her sunglasses out of her hair carefully and offers them to Niko, who grins up at her before sliding them on.
âYouâre explaining this to Edwin when he stops being an orb.â
âOkay.â Niko nuzzles her cheek against Crystalâs thigh. âI have so many questions anyway. I want to know all about being a giant ball of light. Honestly, that sounds pretty cool. Do you think Edwin would let me take him around while he was an orb? What if his orb wants to go hang out at the beach or something? For like maximum ghost relaxation.â
Crystal canât help the way she looks at Niko, her heart almost bursting with love. âYeah, baby, I bet for you heâd go on some kind of ghost orb vacation. Charles would be thrilled if you got him to take a break occasionally.â She tucks Nikoâs heavy silken hair behind her ear. âWant a sip?â
âIs it the tamarind one?â
âNo, regular cola. Thereâs a tamarind one in the bag if you want.â
âNo. Iâm comfy. Gimme a sip.â
Crystal holds the bottle to her mouth carefully, tipping it up in little bursts until Niko gets her fill. She bends down to kiss her, both of their mouths sticky-sweet and slick.
They spend hours there, sharing a drink and taking turns playing music on Crystalâs phone. Itâs fun, both spending time with Niko and watching the orb change colors. Crystal knows that the deep blue is Charles and the pink is Edwin, the two of them mixed together in this form. She knows because she once caught Charles with Edwinâs orb tucked under his elbows while he sorted some small silver charms on the floor. Heâd been talking to it before she walked in and when he looked up his face was nearly as pink as the orb cuddled in his lap.
Thereâs a slight buzzing noise and then Charles falls out of Nikoâs grasp rather spectacularly. He grins up at them from the floor though, entirely unhurt. âHeya.â
âCharles?â Niko says, leaning up on her elbow. âAre you okay?â
âAces, Niko, donât worry. Gimme Edwin?â
Niko sits up to hand the orb to Charles and Crystal doesnât think that she imagines the way it glows brighter in Charlesâs careful hands. Charles stands and sets the orb on the desk.
âYou guys okay?â Crystal asks. âNo supernatural exhaustion from working cases while we sleep or something, right?â
Silently and neatly, Edwin replaces the orb and says, âWeâre perfectly fine.â He shoots his cuffs and then rests his hands in his lap; he looks tidy perched on the desk, like a little doll, while Charles is leaning against it like heâd like to dive right back into Edwin again.
âDoes it feel like sleeping?â Niko asks, taking Crystal's sunglasses off and hanging them from the collar of her shirt. âIt looked relaxing.â
âIt is.â Edwin softens a little, looking at where Niko is resting her head against Crystalâs shoulder. Crystal stretches her legs out, thinking maybe sheâd like a nap too, all warm and cozy with her girlfriend. âHowever,â Edwin continues, ever the proper tutor, âit does not resemble sleep. It is, at best, a facsimile of lying on a grassy hillock and watching the clouds drift by. That is to say, restful, but still aware.â
âWhat does Charles feel like?â Niko asks and Crystal snorts.
âWarm,â Edwin answers instinctively and then makes an odd little motion. It looks like the cousin of a flinch, a nervous tic he hasnât quite killed. He clears his throat. âNotably, though most ghostly existences do not include registering sensations from food or touching others, we can be interacted with by other supernatural beings. We mostly encounter hostile creatures or other ghosts. Though I have found most ghosts are as cold as they are long dead, Charles is strangely warm to the touch.â
Charles grins like he did that on purpose, the idiot.
Niko sighs. âAwwwwww, thatâs so sweet. Is Edwin warm?â She looks at Charles expectantly.
âI think heâs pretty hot,â Charles says with a wink and Crystal throws the nearest pillow at him. He catches it, the asshole, and lobs it back.
âHey,â Crystal says, batting it away from Nikoâs face. âLeave her out of it.â
âIndeed,â Edwin says dryly, âitâs bad form to drag civilians into your fight. Come on, Niko, I had something to show you.â
Crystal hugs Niko tighter to her, grinning when Niko giggles. âYou canât steal my girlfriend. She already spent all afternoon spooning you two.â
Charles laughs at that.
âSorry, should I define spooning for you?â Crystal teases Edwin.
He rolls his eyes and then offers Charles his hand. âI can figure it out very well. How exactly do you think people kept warm during the winter in my time?â He spins Charles into his arms, the slight height advantage he gained from sitting on the desk allowing him to wrap himself entirely around Charles like a smug octopus.
Charles beams at them, thoroughly pleased to be tangled up in Edwin. Crystal canât help smiling too. It took so long for them to admit their feelings, and then even longer to show even a hint of those feelings in front of her. This level of cuddling is only a few months old and itâs utterly adorable. She presses her cheek to Nikoâs hair and inhales her sweet perfume.
âWhy donât you just bring the book here?â Niko asks Edwin. âThen we could all be warm and cozy.â
Edwin makes a considering face. âI could. Where will I keep Charles? You two are taking up two thirds of the couch.â
âOh thatâs easy,â Niko says, looping an arm around Crystalâs neck to pull herself into Crystalâs lap properly. Crystal wraps an arm around her waist instinctively, holding her steady as she wriggles herself into her best position.
âVery well,â Edwin says indulgently, as though this is a great favor and he wonât delight in cuddling Charles. âShall I read out loud to you?â
âYes,â Charles hums just as Niko echoes him.
Edwinâs mouth twitches into a smile. âVery well. Move over then.â
Edwin picks up the book from his desk, a small one with a green fabric cover and gold-edged pages; he settles on the other half of the sofa and waits expectantly for Charles to sit on his lap.
With their legs tangled together, he hands the book to Charles so he can wrap his arms around Charles and hook his chin over Charlesâ bony shoulder. Niko tucks her feet under Edwinâs ghostly thigh and he smiles at her.
Crystal closes her eyes as Edwin begins to read; she wonât admit it, but his voice and Nikoâs warm weight in her lap are more than enough to send her off to sleep in a heartbeat.
You know when you see something that just makes sense?like an aha moment. Well this is it op is cracked at explaining such a complex and in depth storyline
so we all know edwin was in hell and charles was abused by his father. both were in horrible, violent situations, and neither deserved it. but i think the way they do (and do not) talk about their experiences are very revealing.
because, edwin brings up hell every five minutes. he plays the trauma olympics like a pro. and he's comfortable doing that because he knows he didn't deserve it. but he never talks about the actual details of went on in hell, only that it was absolutely awful. because though he is incredibly open about the fact that he went through a traumatic situation, he is very closed about the details of that traumatic situation. this is likely because he was raised in the edwardian era, and, well, people were hardly open about the details in their emotions at that time. and i think the fact that edwin never really talks about it means he's likely never really processed it. in the case of the light leapers, he sees a babydoll head in the gift shop and turns it around while visibly afraid. he has these residual, lingering fears, and they are never addressed, because he never actually addresses them. he has either fooled everyone around him into thinking that by mentioning hell, he is processing it, or charles is just so determined to be peppy that edwin is able to flit around, solving cases, while no one ever questions the depths of the impact hell had on him.
now, charles, on the other hand? you have to pry the fact that charles is traumatized out of his cold dead mouth. he will jump through all sorts of hoops, wave away all sorts of questionable comments, because he doesn't know he didn't deserve it. having an abusive parent is different from something traumatic happening to you. edwin has full confidence throughout the entire show that he does not deserve hell, that it is a clerical error. but charles? the person who is supposed to love and protect him at all costs is hurting him. and we know that he was physically abusive, but like, we don't know the details of what else went down, coz charles never talks about it. & charles never talks about it, and i'm gonna take a gander that it's likely because he is embarrassed and ashamed because he thinks he did something to deserve it. AND because charles feels this pressure to balance out edwin always talking about his trauma. so between the guilt from thinking being abused was his fault, & the guilt of bringing the group's morale down, charles absolutely never discusses his trauma. and, most of the time, that's ok, coz he's able to jump around from adventure to adventure without ever having to process his death.
edwin copes with being alone in his trauma for years by talking about it all the time in a casual manner, as if it's not properly a big deal. he doesn't have too much guilt attached to ending up in hell -he understands it was not his fault- and subsequently, is comfortable being open about it's existence.
charles copes with being abused by his father by hiding it away and pretending it didn't happen, because he has so much guilt and complicated feelings about it that he is not able to talk about it in a casual matter, and he thinks that, if he did, he would be judged for it.
Idea: you send me pictures of your cat and I draw them stupidly
Yeah hope that pitch was successful :3
What do you mean this isn't a photo
chimcken nomgett :) ââcurrent fandoms: ARCANE ââ â â old fandoms (I'll make ocs but I kind of forgot the story lines oop) : warrior cats, wofâ â just having a little fun :D
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