Latest Posts by okipoemsandstuff - Page 2

“And I write and I write and I write and nothing says it all.”

– the story of my derailed heart

The star maker says, "It is not so bad" The dream maker's going to make you mad The spaceman says, "Everybody look down It's all in your mind"

Spaceman by The Killers

If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?

Arron Burr from the Hamilton Soundtrack

Some of the words you’ll find within yourself, the rest some power will inspire you to say.

Homer

Hey

Just to let you guys know -if there is anyone that actually reads my posts- feel free to message me if you want! I love talking to new people! I don't bite XD

Missing You

I miss you so much.

I wish I could see you a bunch.

But I have to ask...

Do you miss me too? ‘Cause to me, all of our good memories are in the past.

reblog is it's chill for me to message you and become your best friend

No... I never meant to say the things I said. I never meant to make you think that all I say is lies. I'm sorry for being so two-faced with you. I just have so many emotions that I want to show you that I try to show as many as I can. I'm sorry for never completely trusting you... I just feel that I can never fully trust anyone no matter how much I want to.

Thoughts of a Gemini writer

Our past loves never leave us. They become ghosts in our hearts, haunting us until someone comes along brave enough to scare them away.

(via ifthenightcouldtalk)

Society

Society can be mean most of the time

and it can make you feel like you’re in a bind.

Please don’t listen to them!

It doesn’t matter in the end.

Come take a walk with me.

Let’s go and be free.

By getting out of here...

Because to me, you are the only one that I hold dear.

Alone

When you say “I feel so alone,”

do you really mean it?

Do you feel cold all the way down to your bones?

Do you want to go through that door you see with the sign saying exit?

When you say “I am alone,”

do you mean you have no one?

Or do you mean that deep down inside, you don’t feel whole?

Just take a minute to think of all the battles you’ve won.

Up until now,

you’ve always felt weak.

Always being the one that has to bow.

Just because you’ve never been able to freely speak.

Well, you aren’t alone...

by which I mean you aren’t alone physically.

It’s okay to let it be known...

‘Cause you aren’t the only one that wants to be free.

“You were the only one I could count on.”

“No. I wasn’t.” I hate how he couldn’t just understand that. I hate how he makes it seem that he needs me. Like if I’m not there he’ll die.... And to think I used to like him. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate him... I just don’t want to have anything to do with him right now.

“What do you mean?” I read as he responds to my text.

“I am not the only one. You have a family. A mom, a dad, and you have siblings. You have other friends beside me. So just leave me alone.” As I send it, I contemplate whether or not it was the right way to go. I did mean what I said.... but I also didn’t. I did mean it when I said I wasn’t the only one. What I didn’t mean was when I told him I wanted to be left alone. I just wanted us to go back to the way things used to be. Before all of this mess came to be.

“Goodbye.”

Before I can get a reply I block him. As the phone becomes blurry I realize that I’m crying.... I wish this never happened.

Special thanks to @writing-is-ruining-my-life for the awesome prompt!

Dialogue Prompt

“You were the only one I could count on.”

“No. I wasn’t.”

Him. I remember the first time I had met him. I’m not counting the times I saw him around; I’m talking about the first time I actually talked to him. At that time, I hated him. He would always make me mad. Calling me a bitch and pointing out everything I did. From something I had said or simply walking.

Overtime as me and him got to talk more without anyone else around.... I found out we had tons of things in common. (Which was surprising since we were total opposites. Me being the one that got A’s and B’s and him always getting into fights.) He had made me feel like I didn’t need to try so hard. That if those around me really did care about me then they would accept me and all of my faults.

Thinking back, I remember the time when he had saved me and the time he bought me a drink. We would always walk together after school but one day I had to walk by myself since he had detention. He was really upset that he couldn’t walk with me but I kept telling it was fine. While I was walking by myself there were these two guys that were walking not far behind me. I didn’t really pay attention to them until they had started throwing rocks. At first, they weren’t directed towards me but then some of them started to get larger and near my head. 

I turned around and I saw him. He came running as fast as he could. By the time he came up to me the guys were already gone but he was still worried about me. He had asked me if I was okay and then got mad, saying that he should’ve just came with me. By then I had realized that he got out of detention early. I asked him how he did it and he replied by simply saying he couldn’t go that day, giving me a mischievous smirk as he finished his reply. 

Now, when I said he bought me a drink. I don’t mean alcohol. He bought me tea from a gas station we would walk by every day after school... and every time we would pass the gas station he would always try to buy me something. It would usually end with me buying my own drink or having a water for our walk but... that time was different. I really really wanted something to drink and by the time I was grabbing out my money he paid for my tea right in front of me. I tried paying him back but he just gave it back to me....

I had seen his smile nearly every day for as long as I could remember every time I saw him, but I never realized how different it made me feel. He was a good friend, but I had always looked for something new and something exciting. I wanted something... something more than what this small town could offer. But I was starting to think that just maybe he was one of the things I’d be willing to keep from all the humdrum monotony.

But.... I realized this too late when I found out that I could never see him again...

Special thanks to @promptsforthestrugglingauthor for this cool prompt!

Writing Prompt #256

I had seen his smile nearly every day for as long as I could remember, but I never realized how different it made me feel. He was a good friend, but I had always looked for something new and something exciting. I wanted something something more than what this small town could offer. But I was starting to think that just maybe he was one of the things I’d be willing to keep from all the humdrum monotony.

#girlpower 

she’s an inspiration.

Keep reading

Dear Me

Dear Me,

How did you do it?

How did you become free?

I really hope you aren’t a spirit.

How did we get out of this pickle?

Where we’re the ones stuck in the middle.\Did we fight the fight?

Or just hold our fist in our mouth and bite?

What does it feel like to be free?

To be out of this “humble abode.”

Who did it appease?

Us or that monster we’ve named as our dark mode?

As I’m writing this letter,

I hope you will show me the way to go.

That someday all of this will get better

and that one day I can stop this freak show.

Dear me,

Please help me become free.

“Please. All I ask is that you live and give me a chance to show you this world isn’t as ugly as you believe.” Well. I’ve been told that before. Over and over again. I want to believe that they’re right, but every time I’m told this there is always someone there to just leave again.

‘Maybe they just don’t have the piece I’ve been looking for...’ I always persuade myself as I look into that box. That small, worn down box always makes me feel like it’s a constant reminder of what I’m missing out on and all of the bad things that have happened to me. 

It’s been sitting in the same place by the window ever since I was born. They say that when you’re born you have ten little shapes and that whoever has the same one as you is either your soulmate or is someone that you care about. As for me, I only came with five. Four blue circles and a scarlet broken heart. 

The four blue circles have been taken by family members and a friend that I care about but as for the scarlet broken heart, there has never been anyone that has that same piece. I’ve always been told never to show my pieces until I know they are the one... So far the people I thought were the ones never even came close to sharing that final piece.

I wish I never had that stupid piece. It just sits there. Toying with me; rubbing it in my face that I will never be fully happy. ‘Today, today is the day I am getting rid of it.’ As I grab the box I start to think back at the times I had been right about who’s pieces were the same as mine. How much joy it brought me.... and how if I threw away this one I will never be able to feel that way again...

I start to walk out of my apartment with the bow secured tightly in my hold. I fall down as I bump into someone.

“I’m so sorry-” I begin to say as I notice that the piece is on the floor along with the now opened box. The guy I now recognized to be my neighbor right across from me helps me pick it up. 

“Hey,” he says to me as he holds onto my piece, “I have the same exact one.” I look at him in shock as I watch him take off the necklace he was wearing.

Our pieces put together made a fixed scarlet heart.

Prompt 135

“Please. All I ask is that you live and give me a chance to show you this world isn’t as ugly as you believe.”

Me when I actually look nice lol

I’m Sorry

I'm sorry for all of the things I have done. It's never helped me or anyone. I'm sorry for lying to you. I've never purposely done what I do... I'm sorry for never going the extra mile... And only giving you fake smiles. I'm sorry for never telling you how I feel. I just hate "getting real..." Because to me, I feel like I can't trust anyone. And I know I "can't blame anybody when it's me" and "what's done is done." I'm sorry for never truly being happy... And always being so snappy. I'm so sorry for always doing things in slow motion. It's just that most of the time I'm void of any emotions. I'm sorry for making you think I don't care... But to be honest... All these fights with you are so hard to bear.

Hate

As I stare at you

my anger and sadness increase manifold.

Someone that I thought I knew...

Yet I stand corrected as I’m forever stuck in your hold.

Looking at you reminds me of the hate

that I have for you as you look back at me with sadness.

I hate it when you give me that look. If you could just die that’d be great...

But you can’t because you’re me.... God, what a mess.

I wish I could just punch you in the face.

‘Cause it makes me relieved when I see you in pain.

To me, you’re such a disgrace...

and I hate that anything I do or say will never give me any sort of gain.

I hate that you’re me.

Which may be hard to believe....

I’m sorry for never giving us any peace...

But that’s I think when you come to see me.

No

No.

I never meant to push you away.

To build up all these walls

and forcing myself to believe that everything was okay....

Making you think I don’t care at all.

Never.

I never wanted to hurt you.

I just never met anybody so nice...

because all I knew

was that people came with a price.

Stop.

I need to stop these feelings

that keep reminding me of what I miss.

I wish I could stop all of the wrong things I keep doing....

The things that keep dragging me deeper into this abyss.

Don’t.

Don’t say I “deserve happiness.”...

because I know very well that’s not true.

You don’t know that I really am a mess

because I made sure there was never really any proof.

Won’t.

I will never forgive myself.

For all of the wrong things I have done.

Forever locked away in this cell.

Never able to freely tell everything to anyone.

Can’t.

I feel like I can’t stop this monster

that keeps making me feel less human....

I keep telling it I have nothing else to offer.

Yet it never listens even when I say it over and over again.

None.

This monster called madness is always there.

Never not being so rough.

Making life so hard to bear.

Always feeling like I’m never enough.

..... I give up.

Lightning

She goes hand in hand with thunder. Together, they are always looked at as an evil storm. Just because it causes us to wonder how such a bad thing can cause something so good to be born. She dances throughout the sky, showing off her beautiful dancing while her partner is playing music by her side... Yet we never seem to notice that it's happening. You'll never know when she'll strike. Her hands reaching out to the various acres of land. As she takes each step with pride. Forcing photographers to get a camera from the best brand. She makes everything worthwhile. Given the fact that she's been here since the beginning of time. Making herself never go out of style. And only letting thunder call her "mine".

Please (Poem)

Please,

treat me like one of you.

You always say you do,

but was that ever really true?

Please,

don’t ever change.

Just because to it was a game.

That I never mattered,

and just leave me here in tatters.

Please, 

just stay.

I become down when you go away.

Please,

I’m even using a begging tone....

Because I want to forget what it’s like to be alone.

Caged (Poem)

Alone....

and chained.

A broken soul

that’s in constant pain.

Noises coming

from others also in cages.

Hoping...

wishing someone could break away these chains.

Their voices sounding so lifelike.

But when I take time to listen.

They are nothing but bribes.

Coming from the demons deep down within.

It’s getting so hard to not become insane.

‘Cause it’s been so long

since this pile of mush was my so-called brain.

Ever since I have been considered “gone”.

The voices keep getting louder.

The mear whispers now turned into screeching.

Not caring what was coming out.

Especially the things that have been brought upon me.

I know that one of the voices is named Death.

His voice is like silk when he talks about everlasting peace.

And right before I take my final breath,

I wished there was some other way to leave.

Free (A short poem)

Be free,

little one.

So you can see

what’s beyond the horizon.

To actually be free,

hopefully, that day will come.

To just be able to feel the breeze

that is extremely rare for some.

I want to be free.

To break away from these chains

that wear me down and to simply be

one of the ones that stops feeling pain.

Why? (A Poem)

Why?

Why do people just come and go?

And act like life is just some big show?

They act like they are the only ones that matter.

Until they are the ones being beaten and battered.

Why do people say things they don't mean?

And then act like that's not how it seems?

They think that by saying sorry they are forgiven.

That "it's just a given".

Why do we hurt each other?

When we're told to love one another?

They say that looks don't matter.

Yet they are the ones that judge and chatter.

Why do we have these emotions that can drive us up a wall?

Sometimes.... I wish I just never had them at all.

Spiraling (A short poem)

Thoughts. Feelings. Words. Actions. Love. Hate.

These things are always causing us to spiral down into an abyss.

Day. Night. Up. Down. Talking. Silence.

These things also never go side by side each other.

Sane. Crazy. Happy. Depressed. Hopeful. Discouraged.

Sometimes... I wish that everything could just stay still.

Death’s Little Shadow (Black Butler various x Oc)

Chapter Two-

"Your time is up Miss. What is your answer?" The mysterious man whispered into the young woman's shaking form; watching her tremble with little sympathy in his heart. As she was making her way to reply she was interrupted again. "Hey guys! I'll check over here!" a woman yelled-jogging over to where the couple was, dragging a man with her. The teen looked as if she had seen the undertaker, that she was going to die right then and there. The young woman felt that everything she had done was all in vain, that all the risks she took were for nothing. She looked up towards the man-his eyes screamed trouble-drawing her to him like a deer in headlights; what choice did she have?

"I-I will work for you! I will, I promise, just please save me from those people! I don't want to go back! I can't!" The girl begged, sobbing as she was tired and wanted to just be done with all of this. The mysterious man kissed her on the lips while putting his coat on her, it was then that she had realized the man had stopped pinning her to the wall. 

“With pleasure," the lime-green-eyed man whispered into the young woman's ear, he walked in front of her to talk to the couple blocking their way out of the alleyway.

He made sure that the girl couldn't be seen well before he looked at the poor unfortunate couple; the mysterious man cast a wicked smile at them, a certain gleam in his eyes that the girl couldn't put her finger on.

"May I help you with something? Is it a lovely night to be out no? My betrothed and I were just taking a stroll." The man said in a high-pitched, an eerie tone in his voice as he wrapped his arm around the young woman. At this moment the teen realized what this man was going to do. Is he really going to do that?!?! He'll get himself killed! What is this oaf thinking?!?! The girl thought as she watched the two converse. If he even is able to take these two buffoons, how is he going take the rest?!?!

The woman replied, "Yes, I agree. It truly is a wonderful night to be out but for me and my fellow friends it isn't." "Why is that Miss?" The mysterious man asked as if he was truly clueless about what was going on, still using that weird voice. "We come out here to come look for a child that just recently ran away, a stupid one at that. The little thing just doesn't know how to listen." The woman said, her voice dripping with annoyance as she dragged on, making it seem as if she truly despised the child they were looking for. 

The woman looked towards the girl, trying to see her face. The mysterious man had a hood on his coat and had made sure it was up before the two had came up to them. The woman started to talk again as she walked towards the shivering teen. "Why hasn't your lady spoken at all yet? Is there something wrong? How come she has a man's coat on and the hood is up?"

The poor young woman started to worry, every ounce of her body started to shake, trembling to the point where the head would surely fall off if she looked up-until the mysterious man stepped in front of them. "I apologize for my betrothed being mute. She just doesn't do well with new people seeing as she is terribly shy. She doesn't like to show her face to people because she fears their judgment about her looks. Now, what does this child look like? Maybe we have seen the little thing?"

"Oh! Well, I'm sorry for pressuring you Miss, I'm pretty sure that you look lovely no matter what anyone says. The child is a girl that has waist-long dark brown hair. She has dark brown eyes and has tan skin." The woman raised her right hand to where it was right on top of the girl's head. "And she is this tall. It's been a pain to look for her."

The man that had been with the woman was peering down at the girl, he had a look of suspicion as he studied her. He looked to be 6'5" while the woman seemed to be 5'6". The man had black hair while the woman had light brown hair that started to have hints of gray in it. While the woman looked chubby, the man was buff but lean; they both had pale skin.

Something seemed to click in the man's mind as he leaned down and whispered into the woman's ear. He looked at the girl as he said this and pointed toward her feet. The young woman and the mysterious man looked. There was a pair of shackles and part of chains. The woman looked at the girl and mysterious man with a disgusted look. 

She grabbed the girl by her arm forcefully as she pulled the hood down. They all gasped except for the mysterious man. Well, this man and I are going to die. There is no way he and I are going to be able to fight these two off. I-I'm sorry guys, I didn't want your efforts to go to waste... I failed you guys, I'm sorry...