One Of My Favourite Puzzles Are Figuring Out The Position They Are In When I'm Reading Smut, Particularly

Whatever, go my scarab

Bruce, being held hostage as a knife to the neck BARELY touched his skin, but drawing more blood than it actually is supposed to, glared at a gala attendee who had the balls to record the whole robbery, raised his middle finger at the camera, and mouthed/Whispered "COMMISSIONER GORDON YOU SLOWASS OLD MAN" with the most 'I'm so fucking done with this' face.

Once the GCPD came, he dramatically sat down at an empty ambulance after denying to be treated and told the EMT to take care of the more injured, glared knifes at Commissioner Gordon standing beside him while talking to other police officers, coughed blood LOUDLY on purpose, and then proceeds to stitch his own cut (he went to med school and was at the top of his class, of course he knows how to stitch without even seeing the injury) WHILE not breaking his glare.

Just found out Bruce could control his own blood flow, Heartbeat, and could literally bleed on command.

Now I'm imagining how Brucie would abuse this ability and get so many people in trouble, maybe make a small cut look like a stab wound, stop his heartbeat for unnecessary reasons, and so on

thinking about teen bruce in his training days. thinking about how softness and vulnerability was literally tortured, beat, and groomed out of him. thinking about how SO many gaps about the reason why bruce is the way he is now can be filled if people just asked about his training days. thinking about how bruce sees those days as near-worthless (unless he needs to remember a certain skill/teacher) because it didn’t affect his mission of cleaning up gotham. thinking about how the concept of suffering is so artificial to bruce partially because of his training days. thinking about teen bruce wayne

“barbara gordon getting paralyzed for the sake of bruce wayne’s development was misogynist, but oracle is a better mantle for her and she should still be a wheelchair user.” i say into the mic.

the crowd boos. i begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks.

“she’s right,” they say. everyone turns to the 5th row, but no one is there. then on the screen behind me: barbara gordon herself.

THIS.

Okay, so we all know that bruce is like a big collector of everything, ¿right?

Like the man has a giant penny and a dinasor in his cave full of old superhero suits in exposition, he loves collecting trash.

Well, his kids do that, too.

Dick likes collec hoodiees and sweaters, like of all things, funny, fluffiest, colorful all kinds.

Jason collects books (we all knew), hard covers, signed, special editions you named he has it or would get it.

Cass is less cosistent. She likes to collect little things. Like pretty drink tapas and those kinds of things because it feels important for her all those little moments

Tim collect mugs, coffee ones, tea ones, all of them and have them categorize and also in a sistem to use them regularly all of them

Step collec labubus, and I'm not explaining why. She just love those Littles monster and she also keps her favorites in her purse.

Duke collec moster and enegy drink cans, especially the special edition ones, he have one od those walls full of cans.

Damian collects sketch books. He has a bunch of them all with different levels of use. Some of them are for different art styles, and other are just to make really aesthetic drawings to post in his secret ig acound

Bonus:

Alfred collects tea. And Jude, them based on oddly specific criteria the nobody understand and is impossible to figure it out

As Bruce grows older into his 50's or 60's the paparazzi and people crowding him becomes less and he thinks that people have finally decided that Bruce is too old to be attractive or mainstream and he's actually super fine with it and makes jokes( more like sarcastic remarks) about it. But in reality they've grown more freaky cause instead of looking wrinkly and a sappy old man the level of cunt he serves grows everyday,he doesn't look like a snack he looks like a buffet, 13 year olds are using his pics as the cover pages of their mafia wattpad stories, he looks majestic, absolute dilf, we don't talk about the amount of tags he's birthed just by ageing on ao3, and hes still an absolute UNIT, the reason he's not heard about it yet cause the batkids are blocking the shit OUT with all of their will and strength cause it doesn't matter if all of them are full grown adults they're still all like-THATSMYDADGETAWAYFROMHIMHEDOESN'THAVETIMEFORYOUHESBUSYBEINGOURDAD

pokes you gently with art request stick. may we have some silly LOSA for the masses

<3

Have some Clownpierce complaining abt his feet hurting and wanting a piggyback ride!! This is their dynamic to me

SOMEONE DID A PROMPOSAL ON TIKTOK W THE "Did I Mention" SONG FROM DESCENDANTS LETS GOOO