So I Have A Private Little Au Idea Where Damian Is Mad At Bruce For Being Unfaithful To His Wife And

Well. It was simple really, this is her baby.

He squirmed in the air as she grabbed him, babbling sounds, some of which were normal, others which were made of overlapping emotions.

She needed to find out what kind of baby he was, as humans didn't change colour and speak in emotions, but that would be explained later. Right now she had a family to introduce her baby to.

Mama Bat

There was a baby in the Batcave.

There was a baby in the Batcave.

There was a glowing, white haired, Lazarus green eyed baby floating in the freaking Batcave!

A baby that was currently wearing a superhero themed footy pajamas and making tiny circles in the air as they coo and make spit bubbles.

A baby Cass had found while on patrol... in Hong Kong before suddenly and somehow appearing in Gotham. In the Batcave.

Along with them, sitting innocently on the batcomputer chair was a baby bag (themed after Black Bat somehow) full of everything a baby needed a glowing green sticky note with purple handwriting on it.

'Cassandra Cain-Wayne

Take care of our little Ghostling. Everything will make sense in due time.

P.S Daniel enjoys the stars.

-CW'

By the time Bruce finished reading the note aloud, Cass had manged to get a hold of the baby who was making happy noises and patting her cheek.

And a second later a blinding light overtook the baby and once the light was gone, the baby now had black hair and bright blue eyes.

Alfred deserves to be a magical girl

Halloween prompts no. 7

Danny, after the portals blew due to him doing something incredibly dangerous and stupid, landing him in the dc universe. More specifically, Gotham.

Tim might have jumped about a foot in the air when that bright light came crashing down into the alley next to him. He might be super smart and independent for his age, but he was still a very curious eight year old wandering Gotham alone at night. He crept into the alley to peek at the glowing boy groaning in the fresh crater. Tim was surprised by the boys age, he looked about the same age as himself if not a bit younger (he's a year younger) and Tim was amazed he was a hero, he didn't think they started that young.

After coming to, Phantom introduced himself to Tim and was very excited to meet and potentially befriend a human who wasn't afraid of him. Phantom convinces Tim to become vigilantes (though Tim insisted on masks) with him and learns that he can bestow some of his power to other people through jewelry. Cujo appears somewhere along the way and Jason gets added to the group after he saw them transform and wanted in.

Batman nearly has a stroke because he thinks he may have caused this by letting Dick be Robin and influencing the kids. When he asked if they were metas or aliens Phantom opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by Tim's alias blurting out, "Magical girls!" Because he was terrified Batman might try to exorcize Phantom or something.

This leads to the hilarious scenario where batman is doing research on "magical girls" and wondering why none of the three are-if fact-girls.

This is an unholy fusion between super frilly magical girls and Power Rangers so have fun.

Excellent work, go give it a read, link is in the comments

the batfamily getting pulled over and Alfred telling the officer that there’s guns in the car and Jason immediately thinking everyone is narc-ing on him instead of Alfred just being strapped (legally) to high and holy heaven is still SO funny to me (and it’s my fic lmao)

I’ve hinted at it in other posts I’ve made, but the idea that Danny is just a little to non-human for people’s comfort is a head cannon I love. Which is half the reason he ends up in Gotham.

Gotham is cursed. Like full on, cursed the land the city was built on it’s imbedded in the brick and mortar of the buildings, cursed. But it leaves all Gothamites with a certain level of tolerability.

So Danny, who had the police called on him 5 different times during a college visit in metropolis because he was just a little too uncanny and everyone felt a certain degree of uncomfortable around him, learned that gothamites still pick up on the uncanny, but they can ignore it. At most he kinda get’s side eyed when he passes by, but most of Gotham gives off an odd vibe so they take it at face value and move on. Danny is not a registered rogue and is also not actively holding them up and they have better places to be.

That doesn’t mean it’s always ignored though. After Danny is admitted to the aerospace engineering program at Gotham U a Twitter account pops up that’s just called “Local GU Cryptid sightings.” It’s just pictures of Danny sleeping in the weirdest fucking places or security footage of him that keeps bugging out because they learn that they can’t take pictures of the kid without the footage going a little buggy.

The students in Danny’s cohort use the account to gauge Danny’s sanity level. They were not afraid to ask what was up with him, and instead of saying he’s a ghost he admitted to essentially living above a radioactive portal that contaminated him. His eyes glow and he has sharper teeth and ears. Also digital anything cannot capture his likeness.

And this was fascinating to them. They started doing some research because they wanted to know why some images had more distortion than others. Turns out the more tired Danny is the more distorted the photo becomes. So every now and then you’ll see someone snap a photo of Danny and be like “go home!” (They refer it to it as Danny’s sanity level because one time he started laughing so hard they thought he’s been gassed, but turns out he hadn’t slept in a week).

Still, it’s sorta become a game. Like how there are accounts that post pictures of the campus squirrels. It’s just that but with absurd Danny sightings. Someone caught him asleep in a tree once. No one knows how he got up there but he was sleeping against a gargoyle in the middle of the night and for the life of them they couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t just go home (he likes sleeping under the stars sometimes, even if he can’t see them through the smog). A teacher sent a student to retrieve something from storage. Danny was also down there, and can apparently see in the dark since said student turned the corner to a dark hall and glowing green eyes. (Geezus Danny you scared the shit out of me. Now don’t move. I need proof this happened or no one will believe me.)

It’s all pretty harmless. The first time Danny gets caught up in a rouge attack his teenage vigilante instincts kick in and he decks the leader in the face knocking him out cold.

Bruce is concerned because footage of the fight is distorted but both Jason and Tim take one look and laugh. “It’s just Danny. We already vetted him. He’s good,l. Remember the GCPD’s request about that kid who disarmed a bomb and disappeared? That was Danny. He was tired and likes to canabilize machines for his projects.”

Danny not a born Gothamite, but he certainly feels like one so they accept him into the fold easily enough.

No but like, this is great, because Cass can help him get legal protections for being a meta, help him get bat gear, and all sorts of stuff when she finds out about phantom, they could be a hero duo! Black bat and phantom would be the perfect combination of scary and charming

Danny was forced to flee from his home universe due to the actions of the Guys in White.

At first, his new universe of choice seemed amazing! Sure the crime rate seemed higher than back home, but superpowers a known thing! If his powers are discovered, he’ll have actual legal protections! And better yet, they have actual living aliens!!

But then as he tried to integrate himself into a normal life, he found the catch.

Apparently, pheromones and associated “pack” instincts are an integral aspect of social interactions in this universe. And since he’s from a different one, he has neither.

It’s like being an outcast at Casper High all over again.

Without the pheromones, he comes off as uncannily flat to basically everyone he meets—never mind how he’s constantly missing context about the people around him. And even if someone does try to connect with him, it seems like his lack of pack instincts might make him come across as dismissive anyway.

He already struggled with social cues sometimes before, but this made things a million times worse.

Luckily, he’s already found a light in the darkness.

Cass.

He’s not quite sure how he befriended the quiet girl, but she’s the best. Even without having pheromones, she seems to just get him. Plus, she’s been indispensable in helping him learn how to understand and navigate social situations properly.

As far as he’s concerned, she’s basically an angel.

He gets the sense she was an outsider like him too once, though he hasn’t tried to pry into her backstory. The last thing he wants is to damage their friendship.

Which is also why he’s trying to keep his growing crush on the down-low too. He doubts she feels the same way, so there’s no reason to rock the boat.

Started the other day and this game is so good! Highly recommend

join me... on silly cat game!!

I think it's extra funny if you consider that during his time on the streets he almost certainly would have seen/heard people having sex, or talking to the sex workers in the alley, so he knows what sex is, he just never put two and two together.

"that's stupid, people have sex all the fucking time without having kids"

"that's,,, that's because they use birth control or condoms or whatever,,,"

Jason died pretty young, right? And it's not like he had a great education before that- and we all know Bruce is too awkward to give Jason any kinda talk so it's most likely he still doesn't know where babies come from.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Here is your other brother, Damian

Jason: Wow another one Brucie? the baby-storks must really like you huh?

Jason: why are you all looking at me like that

This is an amazing story

Did you bake the last Amis cake for your neighbour Dottie, or is the world just full of accidental snake throwers?

The world is full of accidental snake throwers!  

I’ve had snakes tossed at me twice myself.  Once during an animal demonstration at the zoo when the keeper holding a corn snake had a sudden and very intense hiccup, and once on an extraordinaily ill-fated middle school backpacking trip when one of the other girls thought she was picking up a necklace in the bushes and instead picked up a garter snake and panicked.

I’ve also had spiders, birds, cats, lizards and on one particularly memorable occasion, a small shark lobbed at me on acident.  It happens, and cake is an appropriate way to apologize.

He's not going to escape, what if it makes the babies cry?!? He couldn't do that

DPxDC Prompt

When John Constantine arrives at the watchtower he is expecting a quick in and out, drop off the reports Bats has been hounding him for and head back out on his way.

What he wasn't expecting was for the band of merry men to be holding the literal PERSONIFICATION OF REALITY captive!

What do you mean your holding him for questioning in relation to a case!? His energy was at the scene??? His energy is everywhere you half wits, he is reality itself! If he was planning on destroying anything it would be destroyed before you even knew it existed! You shouldn't even be able to hold him??? Why are you letting them hold you here!?

The entity just shrugs.

More on this, post Jason getting Lazarused, pre red hood

John chewed on the end of his cigarette as he drew a circle in chalk on the ground. It didn't have any magical symbols- just the words infinite realms written with ecto infused ink.

He stomped out the barely smouldering cig and lit up the ring with some magic, watching as a swirling green portal opened up underneath him.

"you better fucking be here kid, because I do not want to waste my time in there"

He couldn't summon the spirit, couldn't risk ripping him from his afterlife, but clockworks clock tower had a record of every ghost that ever was and ever will be, and it was kind of the least he could do after bringing the fucking batman to tears.

I've seen a lot of Constantine mentoring Danny fics and prompts, and one of them had a random joke in the tags that John and clockwork had "history" and this immediately came into my brain

The justice league were sitting around the table, John Constantine sipping from his seemingly neverending flask and ignoring whatever the hell batsy was droning on about.

"Constantine" batman growled, "this is not a joke or a game, this is a potentially world-ending threat, pay attention"

"yeah, yeah, you got a ghost problem, do you even have a fuckin picture of 'em?" Ancients, whenever bats got on his high horse it was easier to go along with him, but he sure made it hard to like the fucker

Batman grunted and projected a staticy blurred photo of a young man with whispy white hair in a black Hazmat suit floating about a pond covered in transparent green blobs.

He couldn't contain his laugh as he looked at the photo "that's why you called this meeting? You think he's a world ending threat? Ha! Your little he'll spawn more of a threat than Danny"

Ok, so maybe it wasn't his best idea to provoke bats but seriously! This was a goddamn joke, kid wouldn't hurt a fly! Unless it was a ghost, but like, that's a ghost thing, fighting is how they make friends

"you mean you have met this entity?" Bats growled, tense and staring directly at john

"Yeah I've met him, he's my stepson" and oh, he /knew/ bats was gonna interrogate him to hell and back, but that stunned silence, the astonished aura? That was so fuvking worth it