Bro I Thought I Just Lost An Entire Draft Of A Drama List And Was About To Just Lay Down In Despair.

T^T

I looked up for a moment and it’s all blurryyyyy. I know my eyes consistently get worse but come on. Please can you wait a little longer? Needing a new prescription yearly (though to be fair even though I should renew them yearly I will hold out as long as I have to). Oh never mind I’m fine. Figured. Just needed to give my eyes a moment to adjust. I mean, i still do need a new prescription. But eh. It's all good. Though I do need to figure out how to clean them better. The metal is all oxidized by now. Or, you know, many parts of it. Does anyone know how to clean the nose part? When it's the metal with the doohickeys/whatever it's called kind?

Guess who’s sick and feels like shit!

Random thoughts on 4 minutes the series. Spoilers for episode 6.

Well this Great is kinda adorable in his unhinged way. Ah, he’s trying so hard. Now Great had no idea what would happen if he tried to save Nan and Tyme. Like he had no reason to think these random guys with guns would stop for him. Dude’s scared, always has been. This show is so gonna break me by the end of it. Tonkla though, good on him. Doing exactly what he had planned. He got what he wanted but now what? What’s he gonna do now? Dome is still gone and now so are the perpetrators. So now that he’s got nothing left and no goal to go towards, what will he do? Also did Great’s mom do something to Korn’s mom? She mentioned how if she didn’t do what she did they would have had to live in hiding as mistress and son. What did she do? So many questions. I wonder how this is going to go. 2 episodes left.

My grades are glitched and I’ve been having to go back and forth on messaging people to try to get it fixed. It’s hard though cause thinking about grades can send me spiraling. It just feels so suffocating and then I start panicking and so I literally cannot let myself think about it or just ruminate on it. I feel like a bother having to message my professor this much. It should be fine though, yeah? I mean this is their job so hopefully yeah? I managed to send out another email to my professor today after sending one to my advisor so fingers crossed that everything will be fixed after this one. I hope, it’s like painful for me to think about this stuff so it just gets increasingly distressing to me. One day I’ll figure out what all mental things I have but until then, this public diary will do. Cause for some reason this helps me more than an actual diary. Don’t know why screaming into the void is more comforting than into a notepad for me. Well if it works to make me feel better than it’s worth it. I am still hungry so might do that. Would help if I could overthinking but eh rambling my thoughts at least gets them out of my head so there’s that. Okay I’m feeling a bit better now, still hungry, but better. Signing off for now. - PendingHopes

I feel like some people would like this song right now. Been a while since I’ve listened to it but I stumbled back upon it while looking for a different song. Hang in there everyone.

I’m no longer sick! Wooo! Still got a bit of a cough but rarely. Been busy but I’m back to ramble once more. Now I’m enjoying Caged Again far more than I expected. Think it may turn into a comfort show for me. Sun is super relatable, social interactions are hard. I just love the characters. They’re so fun and charismatic.

Wrote this November 29 and forgot to post. Don’t know where exactly I was going with it but oh well. Posting it anyway.

Hi. I hope you’re doing well. I hope things get better for you. If you need a hug or encouragement know that I’m cheering for you. And sending as many hugs as I can! You’ve done really well. I’m glad you’ve made it this far and I hope you go even farther. Safe travels my friend. And may your journey go ever so smoothly. And if you ever need a break, don’t be afraid to take one. You can always hop on by. There’s always a comfy spot waiting just for you. So take a seat and relax. You’re amazing. So just rest for a while or go do what you need to do, we’ll be there cheering you on. Have a wonderful day, night, week, year. Best wishes, from all

Trick or treat! This year I went as Hilda from fire emblem. Actually had the costume for a few years now but was making it by hand (something I’ve never done before but figured why not) so uh never really finished some bits and bobs. This time I finished her weapon so went as her anyway. Have a wonderful day/night!

woah that's so cool!! i've never made a costume by hand like that but i imagine it's super rewarding when you're finished. i bet you looked awesome!

anyways hilda's pink hair (i did have to look her up lol) reminded me of bubble gum so take some blow pops!

and i wasn't sure what to gif for your bonus since i don't know if you share the same brainrot as me but i figure you can't really go wrong with cute boys on a cute arcade date so

happy (belated) halloween!! 👻

For the writing ask game, number 26: story your most proud of

oof.

this is a loaded question, because I'm proud of a few different stories for their own reasons.

The Sorcerer And The Court Noble, my first self-published novel (which is available to buy digitally through my dms for those interested) is the one I am *most* proud of, because it was a labour of love for nearly 10 years of revisions and based off a series of films and novels that have firmly planted themselves into japanese folklore and pop culture. It's a love story between Abe no Seimei and Minamoto no Hiromasa, real men who really lived and whose shrines you can visit to this day. It's a very special story to me.

The Agony And The Ecstasy Of Sherlock Holmes, my second self-published novel (which is also available to buy digitally through my dms for those interested) based on the events of series 4, told through emails, texts, surveillance footage, hospital records, and therapist's notes. I've never written a story of that length in such a short period of time, when I myself was in indescribable physical pain due to several spontaneous disc herniations in my spine. It's a deeply personal study of Sherlock Holmes' character and I'll always be very proud of it.

Runaway Judges, a post-series the devil judge fic inspired by the mishima: a life in four chapters OST, specifically the track runaway horses (poetry written with a splash of blood). It examines the push-and-pull relationship between Yo Han and Ga On in the aftermath of the courthouse explosion in episode 16; it's about the characters' pain and sacrifice as declarations of love for each other and how they begin to heal from all the hurt and misunderstandings between them now that they're both ghosts as they flee to Switzerland and start a new life. It's probably my favourite TDJ fic I've ever written.

The common thread between all three of these works is actually something based in the first onmyoji film, which TSatCN follows. In it, Hiromasa cradles the woman he loves, Sukehime, in his arms as she succumbs to a spell that turned her into a vengeful demon; a demon that feeds on men's blood. He offers her his life, presenting his bare arm to her and tells her, "It's alright. I do not mind, in the end, if it is you that kills me." Watching that scene as a child (I was twelve) rewired something in my brain pretty fundamentally when it came to my understanding of love and sacrifice. It's followed my writing ever since, and these three works all examine the relationship between pain, sacrifice, penance, devotion, and love - the concept of dying for love of someone else makes my heart ache in the best way, and I love exploring that depth of emotion in my writing.

thanks for playing! <3

Ahhh I freaking love Zombie Detective. It’s sooooo good. It’s a Korean comedy drama. There is a romance but I view them more as besties. (That’s just me though.) I am all in for the friendship vibes from this show. I love it. The characters are all so lively. It makes you laugh and cry but mainly laugh. It’s just so fun.