I Before E Except After C Or When As In Ei (a) As In Neighbor Or Weigh

Random thoughts on 4 minutes the series. Spoilers for episode 6.

Well this Great is kinda adorable in his unhinged way. Ah, he’s trying so hard. Now Great had no idea what would happen if he tried to save Nan and Tyme. Like he had no reason to think these random guys with guns would stop for him. Dude’s scared, always has been. This show is so gonna break me by the end of it. Tonkla though, good on him. Doing exactly what he had planned. He got what he wanted but now what? What’s he gonna do now? Dome is still gone and now so are the perpetrators. So now that he’s got nothing left and no goal to go towards, what will he do? Also did Great’s mom do something to Korn’s mom? She mentioned how if she didn’t do what she did they would have had to live in hiding as mistress and son. What did she do? So many questions. I wonder how this is going to go. 2 episodes left.

I’m no longer sick! Wooo! Still got a bit of a cough but rarely. Been busy but I’m back to ramble once more. Now I’m enjoying Caged Again far more than I expected. Think it may turn into a comfort show for me. Sun is super relatable, social interactions are hard. I just love the characters. They’re so fun and charismatic.

Wrote this November 29 and forgot to post. Don’t know where exactly I was going with it but oh well. Posting it anyway.

What’s your favorite color?

Don’t have one? Don’t know?

What’s your preferred colors? Color preference?

More open. Works better. More options of colors. Nice.

Don’t have an opinion on the topic? Don’t worry. You don’t need to be super opinionated about everything. People seem to think you always have to be apart of one side and against a different side even if they’re the same thing. I like blue. I like red. If you ask me I’ll say pink. Cause I like pink too. And blue and red are equal to me so I can never decide between them. Pinks a comfort color to me. Though there can be too much of it (looking at you designer Barbie, why would you make the entire building pink? Even I cannot handle that much (if that’s your vibe though good for you))

Ah I just wanted to ramble. People can get so caught up in things that they forget they can enjoy other things too. You don’t need to have an opinion on everything and you don’t need a reason to like something.

I’ll leave it at that. Ah got my thoughts out. Have a good day!

💯🙏💛🟨👍

Ah my mind is too much for me right now so let’s see, what should I ramble about? Ah I can’t think of anything at the moment so this is gonna be one of those existential crises posts. This will include topics that may trigger readers so please do not read if you think this will affect you. This is your final warning, please do not continue reading as this deals with mature topics and sad feelings.

Okay. Here I go. How do people live knowing they will one day die? It took me a while to fully understand that I wanted to live and now I’m scared of death. I really hope there is an afterlife. If there isn’t I guess the point of life is the experience itself. We’re all headed to the same place in the end. I guess one thing that helps is that I won’t be alone in facing it as this is something we all will face. I don’t know how to deal with this viewpoint. When I go out I just see the ending making it hard to enjoy the present. And I guess the ending scares me. But I shouldn’t let that stop me from enjoying myself. Life is beautiful. If there is nothing after the end that would honestly be a damn shame. Experience can be overloading, good, bad, it’s just a whole mess. But I love it, I love being able to feel, to connect, and be with other beings. So I guess I pray to whichever entity I believe in that they do exist. Cause I don’t want this to be the end.

Ah okay I guess this helped me get rid of some thoughts. Have a wonderful day/night.

Shhh

I’m busy doomscrolling.

Monster Next Door

Honestly I’m loving it so far. As an introvert, this show is sooo relatable. I love how they’re acknowledging the differences and what scenarios are comfortable for different people. How people express themselves, the time needed to determine what they want to say, how certain scenarios can be overwhelming, et cetera. For me, I love socializing but I can’t handle people. By this I mean I can’t small talk or give the expected reactions to scenarios (talking is hard, talking in a more expressive way is difficult for me). Plus I tend to crash after social events. Anyway I’m excited for this show, seems fun so far. Have marvelous day/night!

Ah I think I’m gonna rewatch Tomb of the Sea. I’m remembering some of the scenes and damn do I miss their goofiness.

For the writing ask game, number 26: story your most proud of

oof.

this is a loaded question, because I'm proud of a few different stories for their own reasons.

The Sorcerer And The Court Noble, my first self-published novel (which is available to buy digitally through my dms for those interested) is the one I am *most* proud of, because it was a labour of love for nearly 10 years of revisions and based off a series of films and novels that have firmly planted themselves into japanese folklore and pop culture. It's a love story between Abe no Seimei and Minamoto no Hiromasa, real men who really lived and whose shrines you can visit to this day. It's a very special story to me.

The Agony And The Ecstasy Of Sherlock Holmes, my second self-published novel (which is also available to buy digitally through my dms for those interested) based on the events of series 4, told through emails, texts, surveillance footage, hospital records, and therapist's notes. I've never written a story of that length in such a short period of time, when I myself was in indescribable physical pain due to several spontaneous disc herniations in my spine. It's a deeply personal study of Sherlock Holmes' character and I'll always be very proud of it.

Runaway Judges, a post-series the devil judge fic inspired by the mishima: a life in four chapters OST, specifically the track runaway horses (poetry written with a splash of blood). It examines the push-and-pull relationship between Yo Han and Ga On in the aftermath of the courthouse explosion in episode 16; it's about the characters' pain and sacrifice as declarations of love for each other and how they begin to heal from all the hurt and misunderstandings between them now that they're both ghosts as they flee to Switzerland and start a new life. It's probably my favourite TDJ fic I've ever written.

The common thread between all three of these works is actually something based in the first onmyoji film, which TSatCN follows. In it, Hiromasa cradles the woman he loves, Sukehime, in his arms as she succumbs to a spell that turned her into a vengeful demon; a demon that feeds on men's blood. He offers her his life, presenting his bare arm to her and tells her, "It's alright. I do not mind, in the end, if it is you that kills me." Watching that scene as a child (I was twelve) rewired something in my brain pretty fundamentally when it came to my understanding of love and sacrifice. It's followed my writing ever since, and these three works all examine the relationship between pain, sacrifice, penance, devotion, and love - the concept of dying for love of someone else makes my heart ache in the best way, and I love exploring that depth of emotion in my writing.

thanks for playing! <3

Me every time I send an ask

Should I do this? Should it be anonymous? What if I’m bothering them? Did I word it right? I should delete it, right? Mmm but I want to ask. (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)