Me Scrolling Through Posts. Seeing Shows I Like. Seeing Characters That Deserve Better. They Die At The-

Ahhhhh. My rambles about episode 5 of Manner of Death. I wrote as a watched so it’s in the moment thoughts for the most part. Also spoilers.

This is a lot more screams of anguish than happiness btw. So my rambles are more cries.

Oh my goodness they’re all assholes. Ah first meet hey friends how you been he’s helped you on a bunch of cases supposedly and then this one shows up and apparently everyone’s like friends what nope don’t care about you in the slightest (or are going a very bullshit route about protection but come on). Also if the wounds are similar to the previous murder, why the fuck wouldn’t you look into that. Aaaaaaahhhhh, what the fuck man. They’re all such assholes. Ah yes this is how you protect someone, threaten them in compliance. And never explain jackshit. Cause that always works out. (that sentenced is supposed to be read sarcastically btw)

You know, keeping good relations is kinda important for cooperation. Like you don’t need to like each other to work together, but also you kinda do need to do your job too. Investigations take time, but dismissing evidence due to bias and also just plainly ignoring evidence, like come on man.

Can you tell I’m mainly rooting for Bun and his doctor besties? Plus that one school kid. Like I know there’s more going on but also fuck them. For the moment.

Noooo! Don’t die mr journalist!!! I don’t like you but I also don’t hate you! You should really verify your information with more sources and I just really don’t like you but also, you know shit! Live please! Being an asshole does not make you evil, just an ass. You must live man! Oh okay you’re not dying just tracking someone…. Bitch you better not get killed.

Oh you fucking douchebag you shot him!!!!! ……..

Hey doc, I think you should tell your doctor besties what all has been going on with you. At least then they can support you more. And since everyone is focused on you they wont really go for the others yet. Plus I think the others might be just slightly better at keeping things hidden. They’ve been helping you so far.

Oh he ate the chip, fucking genius of course he did.

Sorn? Sorn and That, is that their names? I hope they’re a crime fighting duo, or well more like a protect each other one.

Episode 6

Doctor besties!! I love you guys!

Hold up why are they using that tape? It looks like the type I’ve had to use for projects and I loathe it. I’ve had to make sculptures out of that shit. The tape actually isn‘t that bad, I just don’t have a good relationship with it.

Aaaauuuuuuuugh. I don’t trust it. I don’t trust anything. Beyond Evil, I miss you. You made me doubt literally everything but damn why do I gotta go through it again.

Ah inspector M, the better one (in my opinion). He’s just been more cordial and respectful so far, plus I find him friendly and amusing.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh-I have work I need to do T^T. Do I procrastinate or do it? Hmmmm, imma do my work. I shall continue this show later.

Hmmm.. let’s have this post be a random list of shows I recommend.

Pending train

Last Twilight

Vice Versa

Not me

Natsume yuujinchou

Smile down the runway

Campfire cooking in another world

Zombie detective

My boss is goofy

Lost tomb series

One love (Rak Diao)

Soul land

Lego Monkie kid

Three Star Bar in Nishi Ogikubo

And I’ll leave it at that for now. Just a taste of what I’m gonna do here. I shall ramble about my love of fictional media and go on philosophical tangents. I’ll mark those tangents as mature though and give heavy warnings beforehand so don’t worry. Just enjoy your time here and I’ll enjoy mine! Have fun! 💕

PS: @pendingreposts is where I reblog stuffs

Mwhahahahaha! I have tags now. For organization. They should be fairly to the point so if you wanna search my page, this should make it easier for you.

Tags: pendingrambles (miscellaneous thoughts), pendingfilmrambles (miscellaneous thoughts about shows), pendinggames (random games I play), pendingdramalist, pendingasks (asks I ask others or that other ask me), pendingbreathes (my vents), pendingreblogs (these are only if I interacted with the blog in some way such as making a comment or something otherwise I spam reblog on my other blog. I like my lil organization here)

My grades are glitched and I’ve been having to go back and forth on messaging people to try to get it fixed. It’s hard though cause thinking about grades can send me spiraling. It just feels so suffocating and then I start panicking and so I literally cannot let myself think about it or just ruminate on it. I feel like a bother having to message my professor this much. It should be fine though, yeah? I mean this is their job so hopefully yeah? I managed to send out another email to my professor today after sending one to my advisor so fingers crossed that everything will be fixed after this one. I hope, it’s like painful for me to think about this stuff so it just gets increasingly distressing to me. One day I’ll figure out what all mental things I have but until then, this public diary will do. Cause for some reason this helps me more than an actual diary. Don’t know why screaming into the void is more comforting than into a notepad for me. Well if it works to make me feel better than it’s worth it. I am still hungry so might do that. Would help if I could overthinking but eh rambling my thoughts at least gets them out of my head so there’s that. Okay I’m feeling a bit better now, still hungry, but better. Signing off for now. - PendingHopes

I’m no longer sick! Wooo! Still got a bit of a cough but rarely. Been busy but I’m back to ramble once more. Now I’m enjoying Caged Again far more than I expected. Think it may turn into a comfort show for me. Sun is super relatable, social interactions are hard. I just love the characters. They’re so fun and charismatic.

Wrote this November 29 and forgot to post. Don’t know where exactly I was going with it but oh well. Posting it anyway.

Oh, sorry, found myself doomscrolling on your page. Pay no mind to the flood of likes. I am merely enjoying your humour and presence in this online world.

That’s it imma start collecting these. Every time something uses an unfathomable amount of candles all I can think about is everything going up in flames.

Okay so I don’t have anything nearly as in depth to say but I do have some thoughts. This is more in general fandomness not just queer related media. So some context: This isn’t my art account but I do make fanart and societal views of the media greatly affect what I may end up posting. I recently became a fan of a kpop band and drew one of the band members. I was scared to post it cause of so many what-ifs and the fact that it didn’t get it to look quite right. But that’s beside the point. Anyway, when I went to talk to friends about if I should post it one of them pointed out some things I had never thought about. So kpop, anime, and other media doesn’t have a good reputation where I’m from though anime has become more accepted. My friend said “So you know how a group of women isn’t evil. But then when a group of women like something it’s given a bad reputation?” Something along those lines but they said it better than I could put into words. And I feel like this has to do with the “only straight women like this media”. It’s mysogenistic. And also just incorrect in the grand scheme of things. So many people like a variety of things but when certain groups of people like something people will attack it just using the basis “well these people like it so it must not be good”. Which, is just so odd. Why would a group of people liking something somehow affect the quality of media? Like I’m sure it would have some influence but not in the way that is used in such an argument. I want to go on more but honestly can’t figure out how to go on so pls add to this. (Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, I’m not quite sure how to properly express my thoughts)

Now onto a different topic. So I’m a fan of very niche things and highly enjoy my corny cheesey little shows. Some of which I would recommend to my friends until they called one of my shows cringe. Which, okay if it isn’t your thing I completely understand. But it’s a show I’ve expressed that I loved and even recommended. Now if you want to call my show anything call it corny, cheesey, goofy, cause it is. It’s overly dramatic yeah but that’s its vibe. Cringe is so overused and just saying stuff like this made me more wary about what shows I offer people and avoid shows that maybe they would actually like. If you’re going to criticize something, don’t just use negative words. Call it what it is. If it’s cheesey or over dramatic maybe it won’t have that gritty plot line you’re looking for but it’s not supposed to have that. It’s supposed to be a lil goofy, it’s supposed to be fun. Yeah it’s ‘unrealistic’ but the characters have super powers so it was never meant to be. Hell even if they didn’t have powers sitcoms exist for a reason. (Rak Diao, my love).

Another lil tidbit I wanted to add on was just basic understanding of media. I’ve talked about this before so I’m just gonna copy and paste it but edit it to make sense in this context:

So I find I don’t understand everything. By this I mean I can take one understanding of a piece, look at the piece again and just be like damn how on earth was I so wrong before? It’s why I like giving shows a second chance. Cause I might of completely misunderstood what’s happening or maybe I never knew in the first place. It’s just the meaning I took at that time and now I’ll learn something else from it. Like something I might misremember or have a bad impression of I’ll go back and recheck and be like, yeah no I was so wrong. This is great! And vice versa, I’ll be like man this is so good, rewatch and notice things that are a bit iffy. And just go hmmmmm. Just enjoy what you enjoy and don’t be afraid to try things again or let things go. Also, a lot of things fly over my head in shows cause I’m not aware or conscious of everything and I don’t know all the experiences or relevant ties things may have so it’s always good to double check or get a second pair of eyes. (See I read an entire book thinking the main character was a boy. It wasn’t until literal years later I found out the main character was a girl. Did this change much of anything? Not really. But it’s an example and I still thought the fairy and main character were going to end up dating. Alas they did not.)

I hope some of this made sense. T^T

Putting my thoughts out here is terrifying, cause of again all those what-ifs. Anyway, I don’t know how to uh end my lil spiel so yeah. (￣▽￣;)

a question for QL fandom at large: when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards?

there has never been a perfect show, and there never will be a perfect show, because everybody likes different things and QL is run on shoestring budgets. i thought this was something we made our peace with as viewers of the genre!

so i'm just wondering at what point fandom decided that a show is only worthy of praise/fandom if it has no problems?

at what point did we decide that talking about the problems of a show is more important than talking about what we did enjoy and what kept us watching? i don't know when it happened, but it definitely has. critique is treated more seriously and gets more interaction than people talking about what they like.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

i want joy, i want fun, i want the spirit of camaraderie in fandom.

so, why did fandom begin to snub any media that didn't fit very high standards? and how can we steer ourselves away from that impulse?

(i am genuinely curious about why this is happening and how those of us who don't enjoy it can change, so please feel free to jump in, even if you are 'late' or think you only have a very small contribution to make to the discussion.)

Random question. People who have gone to concerts, what are they like?

Content warning - kind of a vent. Just mind stuff. Eh I can’t think of a warning, other than what I’ve already written. Brain fog. Well that and sickness.

Working on a project and hating what it’s current progress and look every second I’m working on it but when I walk away and stop for a while I find I actually kinda like it. But then I go back to working on it and every fiber of my being is screaming at me that I’m somehow making it so so much worse and every touch is a mistake, but then I pause look back and go nice that actually looks good. But then it’s still not done so I gotta work on it more.. and I just get a bit tired with my brain. Like pls, let me work on peace.

You know whenever someone faints in a movie and wake up they automatically try to get up? And the other characters try to stop them. I always found that odd like “why would they get up, they’re injured”. Now I understand, it can be very confusing. Especially when you wake up with a bunch of people staring at you and for some reason you’re on the ground. That’s to say I get it now. (I get adverse reactions to shots, started happening a few years ago. Started fainting. And let’s just say it gets very confusing when you were just standing up and then wake up on the ground. I mean I don’t really feel injured when it happens. So it’s like of course imma get up I’m on the ground. Anyway apparently it’s what happens when your flight or fight response kicks in and the adrenaline has nowhere to go plus lack of blood flow. Speaking of which if you wiggle your feet (at the ankles, like up and down) it can help with blood flow and I have remained conscious since. Sometimes I can tell when I’m about to faint and can warn people. Like the edges of my vision will start filling with like black static and then start going towards the center. Once it completely takes over my vision I am out, but if I notice it happening I’ve been able to reach out and grab my friends arm before passing out so I’ve been caught more than once. But sometimes I forget I have this reaction, though now most people who work where I’ve gotten a shot are aware of this since I, well, forgot or you know, found out while there. )