Today's Seal Is: This Kind Of Thing 🤳

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."

products are so bad now that i have to do approximately 8 hours of research before i buy anything

A true story from 1928 with a few artistic embellishments.

(And starring my disaster boys Jack and Al, of course)

I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.

collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:

even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body

you don't have to brush your teeth standing up

you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering

you don't have to shower with the lights on

if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath

if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria

eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food

you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it

some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them

kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time

if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are

we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it

This. This is the true cost of Brexit.

Oh my gods Guillermo out here defending ‘Nandors heart’ like he isn’t at all jealous or anything.

are you a high school student about to take the apush exam? boy do i have some good news for you

for some reason when i took the apush test in 2018 i decided to make my study guide in the form of a shitpost. im talking bullet points. pop culture references. gen z lingo. its 102 pages long. i ended up getting a 5 on the test and this is literally all the studying i did. i am also now a history major.

but since i remember things better in shitpost form, it worked really well then memorizing dense text. and i know the test hasn't changed that much, so, i thought i would offer it to anyone who needs it.

Google Docs

ap us history shitpost study guide

Hello friends Welcome to my study guide This was made for the 2018 APUSH test And i got a 5 so, maybe there’s something to it? Everything i

it spans everything i learned in US 1 and US 2 and goes in chronological order. i haven't read through it in a hot minute but i think that everything in there should make sense. i essentially clown on the us for 100 pages in shitpost form.

so for all of you stressing about the exam on thursday, don't. read a shitpost instead. it will help you.

I found a guide for a no tape, easy to unwrap wrapping tutorial to make Christmas a little more accessible, wish I just found it sooner