Reading Time.

Please inform me if i missed something because i probably did

You are a mark of hospitality halfling

You have 7 levels of samurai fighter

You have 6 levels of fiend warlock

You have 3 levels of redemption paladin

You have 3 levels of fey wanderer ranger

You have found two books that bring your wisdom and charisma to 22 respectively

You have spent one feat on skill expert to get expertise in persuasion

Your fighting style is superior technique

Your maneuver is commanding presence

Your cousin, throckmorton, is a wild magic barbarian/wild magic sorcerer/divination wizard/peace cleric

Your other friends are a maxed out Spirits bard, any artificer that is level 7, and a circle of stars druid

You are confronted by a god, and are given 30 seconds to convince them you deserve to live

Your cousin throcky gives you guidance, emboldening bond, a portent of 20, the wild magic sorcerer d4 and the wild magic barbarian d3

Your spirits bard spends one of their inspiration to inspire you and burns one to get a story, rolling a 1

Your artificer promises to do their best, giving you flash of genius for your dialogue

The druid, begrudgingly, offers to assist you with a cosmic omen

You take a deep breath, channel divinity, use your manuever, and beseech your patron for aid

You then roll 1d3+4d4+2d6+1d10+2d12+5+6+20+30

Rolling max on every die, you get 126. It’s just not enough.

Luckily, you had your talisman on you, and because you failed, you roll one more d4.

Persuasion Check: 130

There is no proof KidzBop isn’t an arcane ritual performed for the sole purpose of preventing the awakening of a cosmic horror. It’s the only explanation for why it is still going, in fact.

I think what dnd is missing balance wise is exploding crits. I think a champion fighter should get another attack for every crit they land without a cap. I think that would be good for the action economy.

I had hiccups for three hours and this song cured it i dont know what the rest of these people getting fight or flight are on about this song cures what ails you

Easily the best audio post I’ve ever made

Yeah I’ve got cake. A whole lot of cake actually, their entire discography, I really like rock n roll lifestyle, and i think their cover of war pigs is my favorite version of that song also my ass is enormous

Yang: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Blake: Okay.

Yang: And make out during the scary parts.

Blake: Th-

Blake: The scary parts.

Blake: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

It’s 3 am and ive decided that since god is dead i’m god now. cant believe nobody thought of doing this before me

my first commandment is to eliminate all spoken language. you may only communicate through text, dance, sign language, charades, or combat.

*keysmashes*

Nope, didnt like that one

*backspace backspace backspace…*

*keysmashes*

Shit, hands were in the wrong spot, try again

*backspace backspace backspace…*

*keysmashes*

Good. Perfection. Exquisite, just the right amount of k, a q, one non-letter symbol. This conveys my emotions exactly. Send.

Awe u gonna tuwn me into escawgowo??

can we PLEASE talk about the google scorpion emoji