Oh Interesting, So Is This Going To Be Set With Like… The Return Of The Radiants And Stuff? Big Open

Stormlight Spoilers

Hmmm…. Okay so I have a weird theory stuck in my head. It’s- bad and doesn’t make sense, especially because Renarin has already demonstrated a traditional Surge, but: While reading, I keep getting the vibe that Renarin’s spren bond is wrong. I don’t fully understand why, but I keep thinking he’s perhaps bonded to a renegade void spren.

The numbers in Words of Radiance were ABSOLUTELY done by Renarin. I don’t doubt it for a second. I’m so confident about this. But… well we know the two surges of the Truthwatchers, and future prediction was NOT one of them. Beyond that, when Shallan is fighting the Unmade in Urithiru, it mentions trying to take Pattern’s place, which all but STATES non-Radiant spren can form bonds with humans… ergo, it’s feasible for Renarin to have bonded one of the Void Spren, which would facilitate the future stuff!

Anywho, that’s that! I think it’s likely I’m wrong, but could be interesting!

TRUE!! I’m like. I’m like “oh my God no way I actually know what’s happening this time.”

Average Cosmere aware rereading of The Stormlight Archive

If ur not obsessed w ur girl then wyd

So we have multiple statements by Jorge Rivera-Herrans that he was inspired by video games in the creation of Epic the Musical. This is pretty plainly seen in the multiple “boss battles” that cap off most albums in the musical.

Two of the most important examples of “boss battles” come from the characters recognized as “monsters” in the canon of the story: Polyphemus and Scylla. These two are important, because they are the only two characters with songs named after them. This sets them apart as unique and special, which is substantiated even further by the impact they have on the wider story of Epic.

“…but wait” you may be asking. “Odysseus has a song named after him as well, no?” That is correct! This is because, like Polyphemus and Scylla, Odysseus is a monster. So much so that there’s an entire song in the Underworld Sage.

Okay so- what does this mean effectively? Well… the final boss of the musical isn’t the suitors. It’s Ody. The song Odysseus has a lot of parallels to Polyphemus and Scylla (the line “keep your head down he’s aiming for the torches!” Being a direct callback to Scylla), but the one I’d like to focus on is the narrative framework of the song.

He’s the antagonist. The song’s narrative is carried by the disparate Suitors as they are hunted by our old king and try to survive. (heh. See what I did there?) The background chanting of Odysseus’s name is even in the same style of how Polyphemus is sung in Survive!!! He’s the FINAL BOSS. (and tbh. He’s a LOT better at murdering everyone who wronged him than anyone else in the story. Polyphemus should take notes.)

So… what does this mean? He kills every suitor. And like- as he should. They sucked. So what? The final boss isn’t defeated in Epic?

…well no. He is firmly defeated in the end. By Penelope. Something very important in the story from No Longer You onward is this division between the “Old Odysseus” and the “New Odysseus”. It’s this Old Odysseus who is a monster, and it’s THIS man who Penelope defeats.

Her defeat of Odysseus is shown in two parts: Lyrically and Musically. The first is very clear. Odysseus argues that he is no longer the man who married Penelope, and she disagrees. She is the only one to effectively trick Penelope, responding to his rhetorical statement of “I am no longer the man you fell in love with” with a trap that ends with Odysseus confirming beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is, in fact, her husband. Furthermore If you payed any attention at all while listening to Epic, Jorge’s love for motif is very clear, and this is relevant in understanding the emotional “defeat” of the Monster Odysseus.

Ody has two key instruments: a soft guitar and a harsh, electric one. These correlate to the two unique Odysseus’s we’ve established. We hear inklings of the soft guitar when Odysseus and Penelope first reunite, but it quickly fades to that harsh electric guitar as they begin to “fight.”

But. Here’s. Where. It. Gets. Fun. Because after he’s deceived and defeated, the soft guitar returns. He is finally, after twenty years, being allowed to return to the kind man he once was. He’s finally, *finally* home.

And that, my friends, is why I conclude, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Penelope tops Odysseus after Epic.

Shallan and Kaladin’s sass levels are so PERFECTLY aligned. This battle of wits is absolutely absurdly even. I adore them.

Had some people commenting that it’s not a true Conlang-!!! And you’re like so right lmao. It’s closer to a translation cipher akin to Brainfuck.

This is for one very very simple reason: usability. This was made with the primary intention of being a fun, cool thing for the community to use and interact with. Basing the language on English as opposed to making a wholly unique language lowers the barrier for usability immensely. Which is like! The goal!!

So… I may or may not have written an entire Conlang based on a single joke in Minecraft Parkour Civilization 2. That would be ridiculous. Aha. Hahahaha. Ha.

*cough*

A Quick Guide to Writing in Parkour

Flourish List.

You add these in front of blocks to change their meaning. There’s a key at the bottom containing the Parkour alphabet which demonstrates how the space, 180°, 360°, and 720° Flourishes are used to refer to specific English-Letter analogs.

_ = Space

C = 180° Flourish = 5 spaces

O = 360° Flourish = 10 spaces

8 = 720° Flourish = 20 spaces

? = Reverse = Reverses input

^ = Vertical Jump = Raises Intensity

v = Drop = Lowers Intensity

Block List.

These are the building blocks (lmfao) of the language and are what would be counted as an “input” or “letter”. Also included are short legends under each block describing what each flourish does to each block!

(Note! _,C,O, and 8 cannot be applied to any block other than [ ] and H)

[ ] = Block = Grammatical Value

(?[ ] = Capitalized)

(^[ ] = Impassioned)

(v[ ] = Depressed)

H = Fence = Numerical Value

(?H = Negative)

(^H = Exponential)

(vH = Square Root)

u = Pot = Period

(?u = Comma)

(^u = Hyphen/Equality)

(vu = Parentheses)

I = Pane = Question

(?I = Exclamation)

(^I = Command)

(vI = Sarcasm)

% = Brewing Stand = Addition

(?% = Subtraction)

(^% = Multiplication)

(v% = Division)

Alphabet

a = [ ]

b = _[ ]

c = __[ ]

ch = ___[ ]

d = ____[ ]

e = C[ ]

f = _C[ ]

g = __C[ ]

h = ___C[ ]

i = ____C[ ]

j = O[ ]

l = _O[ ]

m = __O[ ]

n = ___O[ ]

o = ____O[ ]

p = OC[ ]

r = _OC[ ]

s = __OC[ ]

sh = ___OC[ ]

t = ____OC[ ]

th = 8[ ]

u = _8[ ]

v = __8[ ]

w = __8[ ]

x = ___8[ ]

y = ____8[ ]

Numbers

0 = H

1 = _H

2 = __H

3 = ___H

4 = ____H

5 = CH

6 = _CH

7 = __CH

8 = ___CH

9 = ____CH

Now that you have all the tools, let’s put it all together~!

————————————

?8[ ]____C[ ]__OC[ ] ____C[ ]__OC[ ] OC[ ][ ]_OC[ ]__[ ]____O[ ]_8[ ]_OC[ ]?%

____C## + _## ^u _###

?C[ ][ ]____OC[ ] 8[ ]C[ ] _OC[ ]___C[ ]___[ ]^I

————————————

Big thanks to my friend PrismaticKoi for giving me the idea and helping me figure this all out! Working with her made this process super fun!!!

Enjoy Parkour-!!! I’ll be coding an English<—>Parkour translator at some point, so stick around to find that!!

All of you need to go watch Minecraft Parkour Civilization though. It’s seriously fantastic.

I adore the way Stormlight handles war. Everyone believes earnestly that what they do is right. Fervently correct. They would and do die for their beliefs. The Listeners were correct to kill Gavilar, but the Alethi were correct to seek retaliation as well. It captures the experience of conflict better than most media I’ve ever seen.

WAYNE HAS BEEN RELENTLESSLY PURSUING A LESBIAN FOR FIFTEEN YEARS.

Guys he’s so fucking stupid.

Love you El!!!!

A character I did for my good friend @shoccoe, trying out a new style!

Okay so this is Pain Book: The Book That Makes You Feel Pain