Subscribing To A Fic Isn’t Enough I Need The Author To Blast A Bat Signal Into The Night Sky Whenever

:/

Time time is weirdo

#a very serious show about zombies

All I want to say is boarding school was weird, I smoked with pta ladies when I was meant to be dropping the habit but I wasn’t allowed nicotine replacement. I take care of the principals dog even tho I ghosted the institution. My principals partner gave me their dogs skincare I’m lost. The principal is great, 5 rounds of covid can’t take him down.

I had a vivid dream last night where a YouTube channel leaked the first 11 minutes of the Rick and Morty season eight premiere. I don't remember the plot (it was probably gibberish anyway), but it tied into the anime and included Elle and a simulation. Near the end, Morty started fantasizing about having loving parents who actually cared for him. In the dream, I was thinking "The Morty fans on Tumblr are going to love this!"

Unfortunately, it wasn't real. Sorry, Morty fans.

evans: I love bees they’re very important for the ecosystem and they’re cute and make honey!

A bee: *buzz*

evans, shaking and crying: please don’t hurt me

Steve: I'd like to show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Bucky: Okay but in my defense, Sam bet me 50¢ that I couldn't drink all that shampoo

Steve: That's not-

Steve: You drank shampoo?!

Bucky: what? no...

Okay, but like—imagine with me here:

It’s Mabel and Dipper’s 21st birthday, and as a celebration Stan and Ford take them to a interdiemensional bar that just ABOSOLUTELY HUGE and it’s a bar that exists inbetween universes, so in the bar that night of Dipper’s birthday—

There’s a ton fuck of Dippers there.

Turns out, they rented the entire place out.

There’s a bunch of them from different AUs—Monster Falls, Transcendence AU, Fight Falls, Reverse Falls, Zero Gravity, even a few of the Dipper’s from the fanfics the fandom makes. Some of them are monster hunters, leaders of the criminal underworld, interdiemensional backpackers, professors—and they’re all just drinking.

To the surprise, shock, confusion and horror of the Canon Pines, they’re all talking about Bill and complaining about their Pines families.

Like—

“But why is Bill so hot though?”

“I dunno man, ask Mr. I-Was-A-Triangle.”

“But why was he a triangle in your universe?”

“Beggars can’t be choosers y’know.”

“Maybe it’s the freedom and chaotic appeal. Beats our families.”

“Oh yeah, they’re pieces of shit. Like all the times Ford looked down on me—“

“When Stan used me for a money schemes—“

“And all the times Mabel just left us for fucking dead.”

“Yeah, what were we thinking? That asshole literally almost threw the entire Multiverse into chaos, just for another day of summer, that little—“

“I, for one, enjoy the chaos.”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it, you insane maniacal bitch. You like Weirdmageddon. Stop with the torture stories dude. I’m trying to drink my problems away here, not gain more.”

“Let’s just be glad we all left those losers for Bill!”

“And Wirt!”

“And whoever the fuck Wirt is! Here’s to fucking our families over!”

“And pulling our heads out of our asses!”

“Cheer—“

“What in the actual fuck?”

All the Dippers just turn to see the Canons and they’re all like—

“Well if isn’t the straight, bitchy loser of the group!”

“Ugh, and he’s still hanging with them.”

“LETS ALL POINT AND LAUGH AT HIM!” (And yes, that was probably Alcor).

The Canon Pines get called out for their bullshit, Dipper gets explained the messy batshit the fandom calls Billdip (and Pinescone/Cipher Pinescone) and meanwhile, in another room of the bar—

There’s just the Bills and Wirts from the Dippers’ universes.

Most of the Wirts are having civil conversations and making small talk and comparing universes.

The Bills, on the other hand, are literally congratulating and patting themselves on the back for being so hot and amazing and getting Pine Tree (and Music Note/Pilgrim, in some cases). Like—

“Ah yes, we’re so amazing.”

“And hot.”

“And we have great personalities.”

“And Pine Tree is ours.”

“And Music Note.”

“Ah, we’re so great.”

“Here’s to our beautiful, legendary asses.”

“Cheers!”

#english and I can swim

Please reblog and add your nationality in the tags along with what you answered! I'm very curious about this; and it's not to shame anybody, so don't be rude!

Well yes and actually no