Latest Posts by terrible-hated-demon - Page 4
bpd culture is the ironic fact that all of your splits are due to misunderstandings which are resolved in the end yet your brain still manages to convince you that "yeah this is a real one. they hate you and you're annoying" every single time
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BPD culture is becoming so torn about how you feel about your FP after a serious argument.
One minute you’re apologizing non-stop and blame yourself for their faults and the other you’re burning with rage and split so hard you write a whole essay about how they’re hurting you and how they’re a terrible person, just to never send it to them.
May I sign off as 🐇🎩 if it isn’t taken?
Sure thing :)
bpd culture is calling for your partner and they respond in a weird tone that you perceive as negative so you just say nevermind
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bpd culture is having a gut feeling that my life is going to prematurely end in suicide
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BPD culture is feeling like all you are is a mirror
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bpd culture is constant urge to talk a lot and overshare but being able to do it only if you’re 100% sure other person really wants to listen to you (and stopping when they get slightly distracted or you notice a slightest change in their voice or eyes or anything else)
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BPD CULTURE IS wishing that non-bpd people would understand how 90% of what people consider to be "manipulative behavior" from us is literally just.. us expressing emotions. Me expressing how I feel guilty for being so draining and apologizing for how I behave on bad days (ex: ghosting, or meltdowns) is not so I can win your affection or pity, it's literally just so I can explain how I feel in a way that you can understand me better..
It gets so tiring when everytime I try to express my own guilt and shame about my disorder I get accused of "guilt tripping" "manipulating" or "being attention seeking" instead of actually being recognized for how I feel.
Like, c'mon guys.. I'm a person too.. I'm allowed to be sad and feel lonely and feel guilty and I should deserve the same comfort/to be heard as much as someone without BPD 🥲
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Can you explain more about delusions and npd? I don't remember if you've talked about it before
Of course! NPD is actually primarily definable by the delusions commonly associated with the disorder. These are commonly described in general as 'delusions of grandeur'' but there’s a lot more to them than that.
In general, there are several different variants of delusions, including but not necessarily limited to: Erotomanic, grandiose, bizarre grandiose, jealous/infidelity, persecutory, referential, negation/nihilistic, and somatic.
Within NPD, as far as I know, the most common types are erotomanic, (bizarre) grandiose, persecutory, and negation/nihilistic can also show up mixing with grandiose. I suspect somatic could also show up based on what I know about the disorder, but I don't see it commonly spoken about.
Specifics about what each type of delusion means under the cut!
Erotomanic - Delusions regarding someone being in love with them. According to most sources, erotomanic delusions are commonly targeted toward a person of great importance or fame. This type of delusion can often involve reading into the world as giving one 'signs', things like thinking certain gestures are a beckoning or things such as that. May have overlap with grandiose ("Everyone in the world is in love with me").
Grandiose - Delusions regarding being special or having extraordinary talents ("I know how to do everything", "If I were to try to do that I would do it perfectly", "If I were in a position of power the world would be fixed"). These are most the delusions most commonly associated with NPD or ASPD.
Bizarre Grandiose - These are a subtype of grandiose. These often focus around spiritual or religious beliefs ("I am God", "God chose me") but can also focus upon supernatural ability ("I have powers nobody else has"). Again, these are most commonly associated with NPD and ASPD.
Jealous/Infidelity - Delusions regarding the loyalty of those around you/that you may just be being lead along by those in your life, also commonly associated with fear of incoming abandonment, and they must be for little to no reason ("My partner is cheating on me", "My best friend doesn’t actually like me", "I saw my partner with someone, they’re going to leave me"). Commonly seen in disorders like BPD or PPD.
Persecutory - Delusions regarding people in the world intending on harming you ("I'm being watched", "People are tracking me"). Most commonly associated with psychotic disorders or PPD. Can show up in NPD by mixing with grandiose ("People want to hurt me because I’m special").
Referential/Delusions of Reference - Delusions regarding ordinary, everyday experiences having hidden meanings ("I believe this song has a message specifically for me", "the clouds are telling me something"). Most commonly associated with schizo-spec disorders.
Negation/Nihilistic - Delusions rendering life/the world meaningless ("No matter what I try, I cannot affect the world", "nothing is real"). Delusions suffered in this type typically fall under the realm of Cotard’s delusion (delusions regarding being nonexistent or dead). Can have commonalities with bizarre grandiose ("I'm the only person in the world", "Nobody is real except me").
Somatic - Delusions that someone suffers from a disorder or medical issue. Associated with hypochondria.
Unspecific - Delusions not fitting into any particular category.
Mixed - Showing delusions of two or more different types.
Hope this helps!
bpd culture is blaming yourself for them leaving, then blaming them, then hating yourself for blaming them because they still mean so much to you, then repeating that cycle all while knowing you'll never having a clear enough head or good enough memory to tell if you were the one being wronged or not
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bpd culture is crying all the time because you will never be loved the same way you love others. crying because you are constantly being torn apart by the violence of your own love
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bpd + maladaptive daydreaming culture is while not indulging in anything like alcohol or drugs, instead you indulge in the other world inside your head so you dont need to be in the current, painful reality – and with a low price!
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Bpd culture is living in constant guilt and misery over the fact that some personality disorder you had no control over and didn't ask for will permanently ruin your life and relationships forever. Nothing is more discouraging than knowing that the way I am is literally exactly what people are told to avoid in friends/partners/etc. making me virtually untouchable and most likely forever alone. The isolation really gets to me sometimes and honestly at this point I'd rather be dead than alone and hated by society for a disorder that I never even asked for in the first place.
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bpd culture is jerking off thinking about killing them when they forget something important
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BPD (+ NPD) is being upset when no one else replies to you on (website) even though your fp will LITERALLY smother her selfish partner (literally selfish not just "grr bpd") with attention when they ask for it.
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bpd culture is thinking you're a monster when you first start splitting (or noticing that you're splitting) on other people, because no normal person would suddenly start hating their friends
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BPD culture is life always being too much. Your old friends want you dead because you had the fucking AUDACITY to experience symptoms you WARNED THEM ABOUT??? You absolute piece of shit, how could you react violently to trauma? And it’s a cycle. It keeps fucking happening. Over and over again. And nobody will ever stand up for you.
I'm sorry OP :(
BPD culture is snapping over little things and trying to apologize for the way you acted and freaking out again when the person you snapped at doesnt get over it as fast as you do because then you think “they hate me why are they still upset over this theyve never liked me they're still mad they hate me”
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bpd culture is changing your entire personality and aesthetic based on a character you relate to or just some random person you thought was cool because you don’t know who the fuck you are
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this is a very specific thing, but bpd culture is getting upset because of something ur fp did but still craving their attention/their comfort that you just crumble once u finally see that notification
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i got a b in personality disorders??? did i not study enough?
Interactions you've had if you're cluster b:
"I'm so worried they're doing that so sabotage me or manipulate me!"
"Why would they do that, people don't even really do that plus their your friend!"
"........" (I would do that)
Fellow borderlines who actually caved and went crazy and angry on their fp was it worth it cuz I wanna.
Euripides (Tr. Anne Carson) / @wholeheartedsuggestions / Jenny Slate / Euripides again
persotypical = no personality disorder or disordered traits; persodivergent = personality disorder and/or traits.
don't count armchair diagnoses (E.G. "my mom is a complete narc!"); unless they've been professionally or self-diagnosed with a PD, they're counted as persotypical for the sake of the poll.
its always "mental health matters" until you start showing symptoms.