Latest Posts by thatssomoss - Page 3

afternoon flight

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

wait how does galacta brush his hair or does he brush his hair like Rapunzel ✨

✩ when he’s fully motivated he definitely brushes it like Rapunzel !^^

✩ and when he’s not feeling up to it- well, others try to lend a hand-

✩ it takes a while to convince him, lol

Bro sleeps with his armor on

kirby, im lesbian

a gift for my sister inspired by our extensive discussions about the tremendous potential of an ace attorney kart racer....... RACE ATTORNEY

more gijinka stuff

Here’s the Kirby characters I did in 2023! I hope you guys like it :D

It was really fun drawing the characters and see how much i improved throughout the year! Thank you guys so much for supporting this progress!! Cant waut to do more with all of these designs!!

Told myself I'd post this eventually (it's been a month)

wishing y'all a very 2024

Sorry for posting this so late I had no motivation + didn’t have my drawing tablet :/ BUT HEY at least I did it and you get to see the rest of the prompts.

Finally posting my Ace Attorney x Dungeons and Dragons AU designs and some silly stuff (Sorry that Edgeworth and Phoenix are low quality I lost the original file and those were the only two I didn't upload anywhere else besides my TikTok)

POSE REFS WERE USED (thanks to my bestie @peacesign-luv for helping me pick out races and classes)

HOW DO YOU DRAW??

i pick up my tablet pen and scream

“DL-6 is a canon event” Miguel would claim

But really, he just likes to torment children named Miles who are trying to save their dad

'boots of resist frost' yeah they're just boots

von karma: NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T PROVE IT! YOU DON'T HAVE EVIDENCE!

phoenix wright:

Metadede Week Day 3 - Caring Just a small little colored doodle I did during class. The quiet moments.

Metadede Week Day 2 - First meeting I KNOW IM LATE I COULDN'T DRAW YESTERDAY AND I HAD THIS IDEA. its my headcanon that they met briefly when they were younger and like didn't really remember until one of them brought it up. (I also didn't use a reference for the poses so sorry if they are wonk lol)

Also say where you’re from in the tags!

Metadede Week Day 1 - Free day

Originally I wasn’t gonna post bc I’m not home BUT I found this and thought it was fitting (I drew this months ago 💀)

I drew Edgeworth in a dress… yeah that’s it that’s the post

I HAVE PLANS FOR METADEDE WEEK BUT IM NOT HOME TO DRAW IT RN IM SORRY

she shouldn't be surprised this happens weekly. daily even.

GRAHHH THEY TRUST AND UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER 💥💥💥

Some spins on the "mostly male team with a token woman" trope:

The woman is trans and stayed in her old circle of bros even after transition

The woman is the only one in her circle of "girls" who didn't turn out to be a trans man

he is innocent