ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY

Slowly coming to the conclusion that no amount of love or reassurance can heal what has already been done to me. I seriously think I have met too many people in my life that fucked me up so bad, I simply will never be able to trust anyone anymore.

I don't have to get better. I just have to be more secretive about things. I have to master my masking.

Do you ever feel like everyone around you is annoyed by you, they want you around cause they'll feel bad if you're gone. But they don't need you and you feel toxic, you're just HERE. Hahaha cause yea I want to die

ayo like this or hmu if you wanna rp some kazuscara, i don’t mind which character i play. dead dove welcomed. discord only.

History Essay: Rambling #8

18th April 2022, 00:21

I’m proud of myself for once. I’ve written 1,000 words of my essay and I still have a week before it needs to be submitted. I’m never like this. I usually take two extensions on my essays so that I get two extra weeks to write (and then leave it until the day before it’s due still). My psychologist says it is ADHD. I think it’s just laziness, no motivation, and exhaustion. I don’t find things fun anymore. I have such a short attention span. I can’t even watch a 10 minute YouTube video without growing bored. It’s like growing up has sucked the colour from my life. Everything is grey. Food tastes like cardboard. The sun never shines. It is a permanent winter. I know the only reason I am doing my essay early is because I have so many other assignments I have to submit, but I am still proud of myself for actually doing it. The essay is about hierarchy and stratification in pre-modern Korea. It’s actually quite interesting. I’ve learned about the kolp’um system (bone ranks) and the yangban system (basically scholars). It was an amalgamation of aristocracy and bureaucracy. The funny thing is, I love to learn. I’m an intelligent person and doing nothing all day is boring and draining for me. Yet, I can never find the energy to actually study. Once again, I am a walking contradiction, and I just want to smash my head through a glass window.

~ 化け猫 (Bakeneko)

i am exhausted to the point of aggression

im so tired of neurotypicals using "god complex" as some quirky label. its a grandiose delusion. its not a fun item to attatch to yourself to make yourself seem cooler. stop using mental illness as a trend and/or aesthetic. jesus fucking christ, educate yourselves.