currently thinking which part i should cxt of myself
— Fernando Pessoa , from “The Book of Disquiet.”
Yet I still want some kind of contact. Yet I am the one who can’t let go —into complete silence, which seems so unthinkable. What keeps me? Is it devotion or addiction? Is it the need for intimacy, or the proof that I can survive some kind of violence?
— Yanyi, from “Affirmation,” Dream of the Divided Field
ugh i feel so pretty and feminine when i st4rve myself
girl i am so deeply unhappy
Showering with open cuts hurt like hell
I do not wish to be known.
I want to move far away, to be a stranger in a new place. To experience life without anyone knowing me.
I want to be myself, and I can't do that with people. I feel much more alive when I'm alone.
ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY
ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY
ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY
ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY
ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY
ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY
ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY
ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY
ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY
ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY ITCHY
the reason why I haven't killed myself yet is
is
um
is