I don't like ⭐ving myself but yes, I have this secret that I try to hide. ( I secretly hope that someone can see it one day.. )
i love starving myself
nobody knows what i’m doing, i walk around with a secret, and i love it
100 Reasons To Be Th1n
⭒ To always be cold
⭒ To know anything being said about me behind my back is out of envy
⭒ To be too small to find anything at a store
⭒ To have people worry
⭒ To have people be jealous
⭒ To be able to wear bracelets as garters
⭒ To make him touch me gently
⭒ To make people think I’ll break
⭒ To never have to cover myself
⭒ To never be shamed for not looking put together
⭒ To feel my bones hit against each other
⭒ To change the dosage
⭒ To never hit fat
⭒ To always turn heads
⭒ To be able to say “I guess its just my metabolism” when asked how I stay thin
⭒ To never have gaps on button downs
⭒ To always be the smallest in a room
⭒ To never be offered someones leftover
⭒ To say “lets get something to share” and only eat 2 bites
⭒ To never feel greedy when eating at a function
⭒ To have a hunger high 24/7
⭒ To always feel my heartbeat
⭒ To never have to hide what I eat
⭒ To say yes to going out for food without feeling like a pig
⭒ To have people ask “are you sure you dont want something to eat” out of concern instead of malice
⭒ To be called fat as a joke and know its a joke
⭒ To have a hollow face
⭒ To always be hydrated
⭒ To make people think I eat clean
⭒ To feel the fat leaving my body every time I breathe
⭒ To never spill out of jeans
⭒ To always need a belt
⭒ To have tshirts fall off my shoulder
⭒ To look thin even in big clothes
⭒ To make everything around me look bigger
⭒ To move without a sound
⭒ To blackout
⭒ To be a lightweight
⭒ To be told to eat a burger
⭒ To be told I need help
⭒ To be told im beautiful
⭒ To feel beautiful
⭒ To actually accept compliments
⭒ To never feel like people are being nice to prove a point
⭒ To never think someone is being nice to laugh at me later
⭒ To walk away from any argument knowing they’re the bigger person
⭒ To never be asked out on a dare
⭒ To never be ignored by a group of guys
⭒ To make him concerned about my health
⭒ To be lightheaded
⭒ To see stars everywhere
⭒ To never want to sleep
⭒ To focus everything on school
⭒ To redefine what food is to me
⭒ To be in control of my health, mind, and body
⭒ To never wonder if Im being excluded because Im fat
⭒ To never be the one taking the group photo
⭒ To never make a boxspring creak
⭒ To never sweat
⭒ To walk slow and enjoy it
⭒ To breathe deeper
⭒ To love being outside
⭒ To never wondering if an outfit looks good or not
⭒ To train myself to never need to look at a nutrition label
⭒ To be able to wear everything I thrift
⭒To never be worried that im bring judged for what im eating
⭒ To always hurt
⭒ To never need makeup
⭒ To never need s*x
⭒ To never think an outfit would look better on someone else
⭒ To have my bones dig into everything
⭒ To barely raise the water in the bathtub
⭒ To never feel hot in the shower
⭒ To wrap my hands around my waist
⭒ To never drop a deuce lol
⭒ To say “do you want a cookie?” in an argument and someone get mad
⭒ To be on peoples minds
⭒ To shrink my stomach
⭒ To be so hungry that I dont know what it feels like to feel hungry
⭒ To always decline food
⭒ To be allowed to be picky
⭒ To never feel greedy
⭒ To save money
⭒ To make people kind to me
⭒ To make people think I hate junk food
⭒ To never need to step on a scale
⭒ To never purge
⭒ To never binge
⭒ To have more room on a plane seat
⭒ To never be judged for having a soda
⭒ To never need to be weighed at a water/amusement park
⭒ To never get stares of disgust
⭒ To never be though of as low brow
⭒ To be able to walk though a thin barred fence
⭒ To never worry if anything will break under me
⭒ To never worry that my old clothes will rip
⭒ To use less soap
⭒ To feel clean
⭒ To feel euphoric
⭒ To feel like who Im supposed to be
me because i did sm work convincing everyone that i got better and i cant destroy that now
I've lost so much weight but I don't see any results in the mirror. </3
- Block if you're triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )
Don’t eat, it’s easier than counting calories.
Don’t eat, then you can’t gain weight.
Don’t eat, you’ll save money.
Don’t eat, you’re not hungry anyway.
Just don’t eat.
"I'm not sick enough"
"I'm not sick enough"
"I'm not sick enough"
all the calorie info I have saved on my phone 3
Just a reminder:
Feeling invalid and like you’re faking your disorder is PART OF YOUR DISORDER
Wanting to starve yourself but not actually being able to do it is PART OF YOUR DISORDER
Recovery does NOT come easily
Constant binging is PART OF YOUR DISORDER
Being able to eat normally without guilt for periods of time is PART OF YOUR DISORDER
Being able to restrict easily one day and not the other is PART OF YOUR DISORDER
Please treat your minds nicely
i want to be so sk1nn¥ that when i e4t anything, i'll feel blɔateð but still look as if i didn't even əat
hungry? good that means it’s working
Little recap' of this morning : I exercised a bit and I 4t3 ~ 257 c4l$ at lunch ! I drinked a half of a water bottle for the moment and, I think, I'll walk this afternoon !
- Block if triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )
☆ # 🍊 Peachez, 20 years old, suffering from 4n4 since 4 years and tries to recover !! * 🌽
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