I’m Really Happy For Them, Congratulations 💍

isn’t it literally so amazing that no one can ever take the act of jerking off away from you. so few things in this world are free, healthy, and feel good but jerking off is literally all three. and nothing will ever change that. literally a miracle

Let's cut the bullshit though. Haunted houses can definitely become pregnant.

What would be the funniest movie franchise (non-Saw) for John Kramer to appear in

I’m going to say a muppets movie where he’s the only human

that tweet thats like im not allowed to believe in the power of manifestation because i have OCD but best of luck to you all

guy who needs to send an email so he completely isolates himself from the world misses out on every opportunity curls up in a ball and dies. and like 2 months later sends said email finally

What they don’t tell you about getting into bird watching is that once you get into it, you do not get to decide when you bird watch. You can be on the beach of some distant tropical country with nothing planned except relaxing. But then you see a Common Fluttering Nut Buster and you’re like fuckkkkkkkk holy shit guys the Common Fluttering Nut Buster is not supposed to life this far west holy shitttttttttt

here is how hildegard von bingen can still be pope

boy toys 🎾

do not underestimate how many times i can listen to a song in a row