Hellsite - Blog Posts

I found out today that i am the exact height of 5 party size Doritos Bags.

or to tie one to a centrifuge with a knife sticking out of the wall that ever so slowly gets closer.

added to @no-pain 's meme

Agreed

ideas for tumblr staff

dont remove the boop button

stop banning trans women for no reason

SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE BOOPS

I was talking with a friend about all the absolutely raw quotes on Tumblr and the random places they come from, like that one post with the mushrooms that says “you can’t kill me in any way that matters”. This brought up the philosophical discussions that turn into nonsense and back again yet keep making some semblance of sense the whole time so you love it and you hate it, the silly things that turn deep and philosophical, and the logical/illogical logic chains that refer to or resemble Diogenes’ “behold a man” moment.

Anyway, Tumblr is the lunatic’s philosophy sandbox.

Sure, every kid wants to be a giant shark when they're a kid. But for me, my dream became a reality.

FUCK

I JUST WANTED TO SCROLL DOWN TUMBLR AND BECAUSE I FOLLOW THE TRANS FLAG I GOT A FUCKING PORN BOT ACCOUNT. I HATE THIS.

Why would....why would I pay 35 bucks for a basic white t-shirt...

I could get a shirt at the dollar store and then take a green sharpie to it. That, and my shitty handwriting, would be much more representative of this hellsite™, don't you think?

Probably draw some robot smut on it too, some blorbos holding hands premaritally.

Trying to revivify this blog, spent fifteen minutes searching how to log out of tumblr on desktop

Verizon bought this, as they well might You’d think they would know how to sell, right? But they bought for a billion And sold for three million A non-fully-functioning hellsite  - Mods E, M, B

Which company would be preferred best For all of this website's absurdness? Change on the horizon? Pfft, nah, that's Verizon And gone before we're off to WordPress  - Mod B

@staff

I swear to god this website is literal hell I have been followed and then unfollowed by porn bots like three time wtf

how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

The bot problem has gotten worse I hate this site sometimes…

Puki will you leave tumblr because everyone’s acting like it’s dead now :(

oh yeah its SO dead.

1000 notes this post. Now

My dog just stopped itching her butt and stared at me

#This is pretty much the first time posting some thing on the Internet And I just pulled an all nighter drawing so I look like caca#

I haven't been on tumblr for like 4 days and for some reason everything is about about vanilla extract? What is happening? Can someone pls explain?

Just created my account and this is the literal first post i see. Glad to see i got exactly what i asked for by joining this god-forsaken hellsite.

presented without comment

Look at you sitting there hiding your device from view, looking at irrelevant things on the web, whilst I sit with my shit in plain sight of those in charge and navigate this hellsite

Y O U P A T H E T I C C H I L D

This lowkey turned me on

William Lamson | Think Globally, Act Locally

Why am I getting an ad for an 11 years old movie

She saw her moment and got glossed up for it

I just finished watching a video on focus/reading and was wondering about the attention economy and how people are genuinely struggling- then I opened tumblr and then I frowned at how legit I see no one discuss that here for the most part.

And then I realized because this hellsite is a text-driven, minimally algorithmised, filled with a userbase of creatives and holding strongly onto the 'romantic era' culture.

All other platforms being plagued with ai art and posts, but be shunned to death if you try that shit on tumblr. Credit the artist or begone from this place, fool.

Its like the entire place agrees unanimously on some basic ideals and will die before letting go of them.

I love it.

but no yeah lets have the conversation:

"the CEO doesnt want to run that kind of website" Excuse, shouldnt have bought the 'go nuts show nuts whatever' website if thats the case. APPEAL DENIED

"we have to follow the TOS of the appstores we're hosted on" Excuse item one, no you dont, item two, you have since those days implimented infrastructure that would allow pornography and sex work on this platform Without violating TOS of any applicable app store. APPEAL DENIED

"we own the site we get to make the rules" Incorrect, this site has only ever made profit when the users willed it. we collectively own the site as a hive mind and no legal change in ownership will change that. APPEAL DENIED

"we have to keep this website safe for the children who use it" Argument based on fallacy banning pornography and sex workers does not prevent pornography and sex work from occuring on the site, it only forces aforementioned users to hide and avoid labling their content appropriately, which REDUCES the safety for children and sex workers alike instead of increasing it, this has been shown to the point that making this argument at all is tantamount to admiting fascist intent APPEAL DENIED

It seems we've gone from p0rn bots to pone bots

Stay safe

Sometimes I refuse to report people because they're too funny.

The shear spectacle of some random right-wing douchebag making an ass out of themself, on Tumblr of all places, is nothing to waste.