Im Giggling Sm - Blog Posts

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ruqaiyah stood silently beside ravi, her eyes briefly scanning the expanse of the ocean, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore almost drowning out her thoughts. the sun above them beat down relentlessly, reflecting off the water’s surface in flashes of blinding light. for a moment, she wished to turn away from the conversation altogether. it was easier to pretend to be interested in the world outside than to face the intricacies of the conversation inside her head. "you always were one to wear duty like armor," ruqaiyah said quietly, her eyes slipping over to ravi. the subtle tension in his posture—almost imperceptible, yet there—made her wonder how much of this new role he truly wanted.

"we are similar like that, you see." not that it matters, she thought to herself, he doesn’t have a choice.

ruqaiyah’s gaze flicked briefly to the horizon, but she couldn’t focus on the waves this time. every part of her was pulling her attention back to the man standing beside her. he’s avoiding it. it was maddening. her lips tightened as the irritation churned inside her, a simmering heat that made the air around her feel heavier. was this going to be how it was with ravi? it was, wasn’t it? a slow dance around the subject, as though the weight of the betrothal—the reality of it—was something that could be ignored. but it can’t be, she thought bitterly. It can’t be avoided forever.

"you've always been good at deflection," ruqaiyah remarked coolly, her tone sharp despite the calm exterior. Her fingers, which had been lightly tracing the fabric of her dress, suddenly stilled. She turned to face him fully now, the light from the sun catching the delicate curves of her face, but her eyes were narrowed—piercing.

"it’s funny, really," she continued, her voice hiding the desperation that was simmering within it, as she sauntered a few steps closer to him. "you’d think by now someone would have decided when we’d actually get married. seems like that’s something one should plan ahead for, don’t you think?" her eyes flashed up to meet his, watching for his reaction, though she kept her expression perfectly composed—deliberately cold, yet laced with just enough sarcasm to make her point clear. "it’s quite the conundrum, isn’t it?" she continued, her fingers brushing against the sand, drawing invisible shapes in the air, all while keeping her focus on him.

"a betrothal that’s been dragging on for far too long, and yet... no progress. it’s almost as if someone isn’t interested in actually making it official. i wonder who that could be." she was dancing on the edge of something dangerous now, but it was a dance she knew well. ruqaiyah wasn’t blind to the politics of it all—she knew that there were reasons for delay, reasons far beyond their personal relationship. but that didn’t mean she had to like it. and if she could coax ravi into moving, just a little, then perhaps she'd have the answer she needed.

head tilted down, looking upon his feet that were submerged in the ocean, feeling the tide push and pull, almost symbolizing the ebb and flow of duty he were coming to face as the now eldest son of house martell. it were a heavy feeling, and while he knew mors was far from perfect, he could understand how that duty alone might bare down upon ones shoulders. ravi were not ruler, but he knew myriam would value his opinions on matters, and he would do his best to ensure the dorne that was left to his niece was one of strength and prosperity.

a small shrug of his shoulders was part of his response. "as i'm sure in any court. i'll admit, i've never paid much attention. perhaps now i should be better about that." ravi valued the opinions of others on important matters, but gossip? gossip was not something he cared much for. he preferred to form his own thoughts on certain circumstances.

a grin spread wide upon his features. "i promise not to tell him, though if he catches word, you must tell him i did not know." he insisted. he pressed his feet harder upon the sand, the grainy texture grounding him as he inhaled the sea air. "i have heard my sisters speak of it, and their ladies. it's a nice link to the other kingdoms, though perhaps it keeps them confidently put where they are." he jested. hearing the rumors swirling about those to the north of them, the things that would not be looked down upon in dorne, or otherwise the chaos within other courts, certainly might deter them from wanting to venture. ravi, however, was unsure of his thoughts on that.

"i...completely understand that, actually." there was a glimmer of hope, a common ground he found with a woman he had been betrothed to for so long, yet, never directly spoke of it. now that it were looming over them, perhaps he yearned to see what natural relationship might form between them. "though admittedly i prefer my solitude. those...vultures as you say tend to get into my head more than i care for."

at the question of his mother, he gave a simple nod. "she is...doing as well as she can. my sisters have watched closely on her. she seems to be focusing on leila, for now." he sighed, wishing he were of more help. "i imagine she will take the opportunity for those gathered to revel in company." at least, rashid hoped she might. he thought he would see if one of his sister's could put the idea in her mind. "and how is your family? given everything..." he imagined they were still processing a great loss, and he remembered how close ruqaiyah was to safeerah.

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ruqaiyah’s lips curled into a slow, deliberate smile, her amethyst eyes narrowing as she studied devani, the words lingering in the air like smoke. she almost found the claim laughable—no winds strong enough? oh, there were winds strong enough. strong enough to carry you away from yourself. but she didn’t say that. not yet. “courage,” ruqaiyah mused, tilting her head slightly, her gaze running over devani as if she were a puzzle yet to be solved.

“you really think that’s what kept you running all these years? courage?” she stepped closer, the words laced with something cold, something biting. “or was it fear, darling? fear of being seen for what you really are. because you and i both know what it is. and it’s never been about courage.” and that was the twisted reality of all that remained in the fractured glass that had become of them; a knowledge, a clear ability to see through one another. there was no way to forget, no way to go back on it.

“you’re bored?” ruqaiyah’s smile widened, sharp as a knife. “as am i. how long did it take for you to get bored? all those years running around pretending—hiding, always hiding. you'll be hiding something over there, no doubt. something that spoiled the fun for you. but now you’re here. chasing a game that no one else is playing anymore.” she pulled away her silks from devani's smooth touch, ignoring the way she seemed to find herself zoning in more on it. on her.

“it is quite the view still, devani. is it not?” ruqaiyah’s voice dropped to a low murmur, an edge of steel in it. her smile faltered for a second, a flicker of the past catching her off guard. memories, god, they never leave, do they? she had given devani everything once, and for what? abandonment. emptiness. she had sat and wondered, rewriting and rewriting letters she would leave her parents. her family. how she would tell them she did not wish to marry. that she wished to be like the rest of dorne.

“you didn’t just look, though, did you?” she said, stepping closer still, her eyes narrowing; but her gaze was dark. “and then you left.” her hand reached out to devani there, moving away her hand from her silks. "we were girls, devani toland. and we are women now. i'll find it within my heart to forgive you, as my soon to be subject." a lie. a complete and utter lie. but she would never miss the chance to remind her of their difference. how lucky she were that ruqaiyah had ever looked in her direction.

"nah. don't think there's winds strong enough to carry me away from my courage." it was not necessarily true. a lover had once told devani she was completely without fear, and she had liked that. but it was not fearlessness that had kept her running all these years. it was quite the opposite, and she did not think any knew that better than ruqaiyah, regardless of whatever playful deflection devani threw her way.

she hummed then, pressing her lips together as though she were deep in thought. but it was another charade, another game. yet another way to see if she could still get under the skin of the lady of starfall. "or maybe i just got bored. hiding's less fun if you're not chasing me."

ruqaiyah pressed closer, and devani found her eyes sliding down her face, studying each of her features. those amythest eyes, with their long lashes, the curve of her cheekbone, the way her lips parted when she spoke and the memory of pressing her own against them. it was a treacherous road to go down, and yet, here she was, throwing herself down it headfirst, as she always did.

"i do." it had been so innocent, in comparison to the lovers that had come after. back then, it had simply been about lying beside one another, charged with something else that was not lust. ruqaiyah had given her an escape from the oppressiveness of ghost hill. devani had repaid that with abandonment. "but that is not the interesting question." she reached out, smoothing a fold in ruqaiyah's pink silks, touch feather-light against the fabric. "because you didn't mind the view either, if memory serves."