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IM PHYSICALLY ILL - Blog Posts

mangogreent
2 months ago

/ Orv novel main story + epilogue spoilers

!! Please do NOT reupload my comics / works anywhere !!

"Did you know, Dokja-ssi?" - A Jung Heewon comic about platonic love

An Omniscient Reader's viewpoint comic about Jung Heewon talking about her relationship with Kim Dokja, addressed to Dokja in the past tense. Jung Heewon is shown looking at Kim Dokja, who's looking at system screens. She narrates, "Did you know, Dokja-ssi? That I always thought you were a pretty cool leader?"
They're shown in an early scenario, both holding swords as Dokja, wearing the buddhist robe, waves her away to command her to step back. "It always felt like you knew how to do everything. Like you were truly in your element." He holds the ice pellets in one hand, ready to consume them to slay the fire dragon.
Dokja sweeps his sword in an arc of ice, and Heewon watches with shock and awe. "Doing such reckless things like that, you save people in such a way that worries me. But it was still such a sight."
She pinches him hard on the cheek as she complains, "I found myself loving how brave yet stupid you were." Heewon smiles over at Dokja, who sweats while trying to placate an arguing Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung. "I loved how you didn't quite know how to hold them. But you still gave them a home."

!! Please do NOT reupload my comics / works anywhere !!

(cont below)

Heewon is shown approaching Dokja, who sits cross-legged, looking at his phone with system screens floating around him. He smiles up at her with visible bags under his eyes, and she smiles at him before standing beside him as he continues looking over the screens. "I loved how you seemed to know all the answers, but your eyes still got tired. It felt like you were close enough to understand."
Heewon smiles gently. "I loved how / you burned like the / brightest star." Then she's shown reaching out desperately, bloodied and crying as chains wrap around her arm, restraining her.
Shouts of "Kim Dokja" fill the background as Dokja, Demon King form activated, stands atop a clock tower with a giant eye behind him. Heewon says, "But now-- Now I--"
They're shown walking together, Dokja grinning as Heewon laughs and elbows him. A close-up shows Heewon smiling happily. "I'd just love if you were safe and sound, slacking off at home / instead of saving this fucking god-forsaken world."
She, Yoo Joonghyuk, and Han Sooyoung are shown moving through a void towards an eight-pointed star. She has Uriel's wings unfolded, and Han Sooyoung has Abyssal Black Flame Dragon's wings and horns. "Doing such reckless--" A view of Heewon, who is now white-haired, sitting beside Dokja's hospital bedside. "Reckless things like that."
Next, Heewon is shown looking with shocked, shiny eyes at system messages popping up beside her as she stands with scales above her and her sword drawn. She says, "Oh, you-- you--" The message is shown: "[Constellation, 'Demon King of Salvation', is agreeing with the judgement.]" She narrates, "You didn't know how else to save people. Did you?"
Heewon looks sorrowfully at Dokja, who stands with his back to her. He has two sets of wings, one dark from his demon king form, and one white from his angel transformation. Upon his head is a pair of dark horns and a halo. "It's okay. I'll save you. If you don't know how, I can teach you."
A full page shows Heewon in Judge form, winged with flames emanating from her sword, scales and a halo above her head. She repeats, "I'll save you. I'll save you. I'll save you."
Kimcom is shown moving forward out of the train, and Heewon's initial hopeful and confident expression freezes into blank shock, her train of thought breaking, her text reading "I'll--", and her eyes reflect the Oldest Dream reading on the train station floor.
The view moves to the Oldest Dream looking up with surprise before showing a cropped view of a stunned Heewon watching Dokja move in front of her. Feathers fall, and Heewon looks horrified as Dokja's sword moves in the foreground
Heewon desperately shouts while holding back Dokja, who holds his broken and bloodied sword to his throat. She narrates, "I hate how you don't quite know how to let us hold you. I hate how I was experiencing the cliché of seeing a savior fail to be saved himself."
Dokja's hair obscures his eyes as he shouts, still holding the blade while crying. They're shown from the back as Heewon continues to restrain him while he struggles. "I hate how / I can't see your eyes anymore."
Dokja is shown smiling and reading on his phone while sitting on a scale. "I hate myself for not being strong enough for you." The view moves out to show Heewon sitting before that small scale, her mouth upset. The scale weighs the Earth on one side, but Dokja's side is weighted much more heavily. "I hate myself for being so dependent on you." These panels are meant to reflect the iconic line she says in the novel, [That man is the world I wish to save.]
Dokja is shown in a hospital bed with a respirator on. His eyes are closed and he is unresponsive. Heewon stands beside him, face almost entirely obscured. "I hate that when you wake up / I'll probably forgive you."
In a composition which parallels the first page, we see a white-haired Heewon speak to Dokja, who faces away. "Did you know, Dokja-ssi? That I loved you?"
"Not like how I love them--" A shot of Yoosung, Gilyoung, and Lee Jihye-- "Or them--" A shot of Sooyoung, Yoo Sangah, and Uriel-- "Or him." A shot of Lee Hyunsung.
Heewon stands amidst empty space, looking to the side with an unreadable expression full of too many things she can't express, trapped in her heart. "I just do." Her text is placed at where Kim Dokja should have stood, and he is not there.
She leans on her sword and tilts her head back. There is a look of feigned but believable peace and confidence on her face. "It's okay. I'm strong, so it's okay." She smiles more widely as black hatching starts to reach up from the bottom of the page. "I'm the strongest incarnation of your company. So I'll be--"
The final page begins on a mass of scribbly black lines trailing down into blank white that leads to a zoomed-out shot of Heewon kneeling at Dokja's bedside. Dokja's face is cut off as Heewon quietly sobs.

Thank you @princess-of-purple-prose for the ID (available in ALT text). ID was rephrased here and there according to what the panels are meant to show

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my rbs IM PHYSICALLY ILL YOU COOKED SPAGHETTO ALFREDO PENNE RAVOLI MACARONI WITH THIS
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einshi
3 weeks ago

thinking hard about the line 'i loved you longer than i knew you' because i used it months ago for a piece i drew and it's been haunting me since bc that's how i imagine the dynamic between gojo and geto, spending only 3 years of their youth together but loving each other in distance for 10 more also this is the piece

Thinking Hard About The Line 'i Loved You Longer Than I Knew You' Because I Used It Months Ago For A
Tags
IM PHYSICALLY ILL every time i think im feeling normal abt satosugu everything comes flooding back in and suddenly im lying unconscious on the floor //KILL ME IF YOU WANT THERE IS MEANING IN THAT//
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