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felix: you often use humor to deflect trauma
chris: thank you
felix: i didn’t say that was a good thing
chris: what i’m hearing is, you think i’m funny
soobin: yeonjun hyung told me that instead of being sad, i should go get it, girl. so i am going to go get it.
hyuka: get what?
soobin: not sure, ill get everything, just in case
Changbin: I’ll strangle you
Seungmin: You aren’t tall
Changbin: You’ve sunk low enough to reach
Yeonjun: What are you, homophobic?
Taehyun: I don’t hate all gay people, just specifically you
Wooyoung: I doubt you’re even in possession of a crowbar
Hongjoong: I suggest you don’t find out the hard way
Minho: Truth or dare?
Chris: [exasperated] truth.
Minho: do you want to kiss me?
Chris: dare.
Minho, leaning in: I dare you to kiss me
Chris: never have I ever-
Minho: THATS NOT THE GAME
Minho: what are my pronouns?
none. don’t refer to me. even better, don’t perceive me. I’m not even here.
chris: finish the saying :
‘sticks and stones may break my bones’
hyunjin, who only listened to this song bc felix made him: but chains and whips excite me
Chan: you hit a toddler!
Minho: [shrugging] equal rights, equal fights
baby: [is crying]
Chan: *awkwardly picks up baby* it’s okay... you’ll learn how to do that on the inside when you get older
jeongin:
Jeongin: hyung are you ok
Johnny: [holding Leon] what does Ten feed you to grow this big?
Johnny: [snickering] Taeil should have some
Taeil, in the distance: SHUT UP
Yeji: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now.
Yuna: There’s no Wi-Fi in prison.
Yeji: [nods] Thank you.
Minho: Chan do you ever want to talk about your feelings?
Chan: No
Felix: I do
Minho: I know Felix
Felix: I’m sad
Minho: I know Felix
Ten:[holding his newborn baby] she is so beautiful
Doctor: We’re going to have to give her some shots
Ten: Oh hell yea pour her up it’s her fucking BIRTHDAY
Yeosang: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?
San: Punch him in the stomach, then when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.
Yunho: Tackle him.
Wooyoung: Dump him.
Jongho: Kick him in the shin.
Mingi: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN
Yeosang: I don’t dress to impress, I dress to depress.
Yeosang: I want to look so good that you hate yourself.
Felix: My hand toes hurt :(
Chan: Your WHAT
Felix: Hand toes? What’s the Korean word for it?
Seungmin: *wheezing intensifies*
Wooyoung: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!!
Wooyoung: *aggressively throws water bottles*
Yeosang: Uh...
Yunho: He’s trying to yell mental health and well-being into us.
Wooyoung: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU
Mingi: *crying* it’s working
Felix: I have a Black Belt.
Seungmin: In karate?
Felix: From Gucci
Changbin, leaving the room: That’s it! I’m not getting into any more stupid arguments with you.
Minho: Mars is not a planet.
Changbin: How the hell is Mars not a planet?!
Yeonjun: Gentle reminder not to eat too much candy before bed!
Kai: no
Yeonjun: This was a gentle reminder, yet your words of defiance bring me ungodly amounts of rage.
Taehyun: word*
Yeonjun: I want nothing more than to uppercut you two directly to Heaven’s front door.
Taehyun: I’m not insulting you, I’m just describing you!
Kai:
Yeonjun: There’s no way Soobin likes me.
Soobin: *gives him cuddles*
Soobin: *spends all his time with him*
Soobin: *Confesses his undying love*
Yeonjun: He totally sees me as just a friend...
Soobin:Oh please,you wouldn’t hurt a fly
Yeonjun:You’re right,because a fly is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody. You, however, I would maim.
Jisung: Are we there yet?
Taeyong: Get out.
Jisung: We’re going 85 miles per hour down the highway in the middle of nowhere.
Taeyong: Did I stutter?
Chan holding a gun to Felix: Tell me the name of god you freckled piece of sh*t
Felix: Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? You cannot kill me in a way that matters.
Chan cocking the gun with tears streaming down his face: I’M NOT SCARED OF YOU!
Yeji: You stabbed her?!
Chaeryong: In my defense, you didn’t hear what Lia said.
Yeji: What did she say?
Chaeryong: ‘What are you gonna do? Stab me?’
Ryujin: I’m with Chae on that one, that’s practically an invitation
Yoongi: It costs $400 do pay for a therapist, but it’s free to tell myself it be like that sometimes.
Seokjin: No...
Huening Kai: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Soobin: Wasn’t Yeonjun with you?
Yeonjun: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
Beomgyu, t-posing in the hallway: Good morning parental figure.
Soobin,not looking up from his coffee: Hello, problem child.