My Thoughts - Blog Posts

after only being in one relationship, i have decided i can’t do that over and over and over again so the next person i date i will be marrying. i’ve made up my mind. how people are constantly in and out of relationships will never make sense to me. like how do you do it??? how are u not traumatized???

is this girlhood? yeah.

i’m so pissed off. anyone else come to realizations over time that in the moment could have changed a lot of things. like GREAT. good thing i realize this a WHOLE YEAR later. smh. 🤦‍♀️

i miss being a kid

No seriously. He is all I've been thinking about.

self respect is in for 2025!!! (i didn’t hu with my ex over break who ruined my life)

envying my friends in happy relationships but the thought of falling in love again makes me feel nauseous

headaches are a girl thing. i genuinely don’t think i can recall a time when a man has ever told me he’s had a headache.

GUYS I CANT BELIVE TIKTOK GOT FUCKING BANNED

heyyy. if you posted a christmas haul with all the expensive shit your parents got you do me a quick favor and shut the fuck up and then go fuck yourself. no body caressss ☺️ merry christmas!

everyone lied to me. everyone. lied to me.

getting tested for adhd soon but what if they end up telling me the problem is that i’m just constantly living in a dissociative state enduring the recall of all my old memories haunting me.

guys i really can’t

i feel like i’m one second away from losing all the self control i’ve been holding onto for the past two years and im going to finally break

i have to get up early tomorrow but i’m scared to fall asleep because the nightmares are coming back

even though being tumblr famous would be cool i kinda love that i can post the most personal and deepest thoughts and only like 3 people in the entire world, IF THAT, will see it and know those things which is kinda intimate in a secret and anonymous way. i love that.

anyone else experiencing this right now?

thank GOD for head phones, cloudy days, and a grotesque longing for who you once were

college is so weird. it’s like your surrounded by thousands of people all the time but still feel so isolated.

i wonder if he ever feels guilty about what happened

i wish i could get excited for things without having tremendous amounts of anxiety that literally ruin it.

hi :) i hope this tmblr fills the never ending void in my life (spoiler alert it probably won’t)

I’ve been having this fear of losing my progress.

I feel like I’ve done a lot with my game and drawings. I like them and am afraid they’ll disappear. Maybe posting this will ease the worries.

I always feel like looking at my game videos and Godot files to make sure they’re still there (´∀｀=)

Everything’s good otherwise ^^

Finally starting to repost things

I’m inept I know (*´ω`*)

(Also categorizing things too with tags I’m finally getting it ^o^)

I'm already hating all that is around me without knowing what I'm exchanging the love for.

Recently, ambition has been blurring my lens. I'm constantly looking forward to what I'm potentially building and neglecting the treasures of my present. How easy it is for us people, to weigh the flawed but existent present against the ideal but imaginary future and deem the former unworthy of appreciation.

**The fire within me**

I am afraid -

not of the darkness,

not of the storm

that breaks through the night.

But of it,

of strange hands coming,

quietly, uninvited,

and try

to extinguish the glow in my eyes -

this wild flickering,

that lets me breathe.

Let me burn,

even if it blinds you.

Let me blaze,

even if it frightens you.

Because I am not a spark,

that can be extinguished -

just a star,

that awakens in its own light.

**The light in my eyes**

I am afraid -

not of the fall,

not of the silence,

that sometimes comes.

But of it,

that timid hands

touch my inside

and whisper: *"Don't be so bright. "*

But this light -

it is not a spark,

that can be extinguished,

not a fire,

that consumes.

It is a gentle glow,

that carries me,

a moonbeam,

that cuts through darkness.

Let me shine,

just as I am.

No less,

no more.

My favourite thing about tabletop RPGs is playing characters. And I mean acting, as if you are really another person in another circumstances living another life in another world. I like role-playing, and I think tabletop RPGs is a perfect way of escapism 💟

Even though English is not my mother tongue, I feel safe and comfortable writing in English. I guess, it helps me to distract and escape from literally hostile environment I'm living in...

The eternity too passes like a moment when you are around. -)RB

Floppy deflated ghost... The weather is killing me...