My Thoughts - Blog Posts

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Far From Home - My Thoughts

!!!WARNING!!! SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE, SO IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET, JUST SKIP THIS POST!!! Or if you don’t care for spoilers at all, just keep reading...

Okay, so I just came home from watching Spider-Man: Far From Home at my local cinema and eh... I’m still so hyped!! It really was a great movie to end the third phase of the MCU. I stayed after the credits (as a real Marvel-fan do, ofc) and boy did I get a surprise! I will mention the credit scenes, but I’ll leave that for last.

Okay, so firstly, it was a great movie. Good mix of action, humor, and feels. I loved that opening when the Marvel logo came, but instead of the usual theme in the back, it was “I Will Always Love You”... I love these movies, so much. Secondly, Oh my god, I am MAD! Why you may ask? Mysterio... just Mysterio. I am so mad that he tricked Peter the way he did and lied to him. Don’t get mad at me and attack me with “oh but Mysterio was always a villain in the comics”-thing cuz I never read the comics. I’m only 16 years old (just like Peter in the movie! Yee!) and therefore I never grew up with the old comics. But still, I had read some theories before I watched the movie that it was unsure if they would stick to the old canon and keep Mysterio the villain or change him up and make him an ally to Spider-Man. So I had that as a thought in the back of my head. But still, I have to give Jake Gyllenhaal credit for playing a really great and unstable character as Mysterio turned out to be. Gotta love the villain!

Moving on, the scenes between Peter and MJ... I SHIP IT!! And of course, they ended up together! Yee! X3 I really loved how MJ confessed during that fight in London to the others that she tells the truth even if it can be hurtful towards others. I don’t see that as a weakness, but rather as a strongpoint which makes me like MJ more. She is a strong and capable female character who is not that standard “damsel in distress” type of girl and I like that.

Next, Happy. I have to talk about Happy. He has his scenes in the movie and I really appreciate his character more now that he is more understanding, protective and caring of Peter. A scene that really got to me was when he picked up Peter in the Netherlands. He walked out of the jet and asked what happened and Peter just needed to be sure that it was the real Happy and not just an illusion because come on, he is crushed after he was betrayed by someone he thought he could trust... I felt so sorry for Peter at that moment. He just wanted a normal holiday, with his class, his friends, and potentially, his future girlfriend. Peter was so relieved that he was the real Happy and just gave him a hug. And Happy, being the concerned and probably also scared guardian he was, asked Peter if he was okay. That is why I love Happy more now. In Homecoming, he was cold and a little distant from Peter, but that was probably because of Peter being a young teenager just starting out as Spider-man. In FFH however, he was more protective and welcoming and positive towards Peter because he KNOWS that Peter has grown and is still devastated after what happened in Endgame. Peter lost a great inspiration and father-figure, and as a 16-year-old, of course, that is difficult. Peter’s tear-stained red eyes and messy hair in the trailer shows us a crushed teen who feels like he can’t do the great things that everyone believes he can do.

Finally, I will conclude this already long post with the end-credit scenes. Peter and MJ swinging through New York, just yes. Peter with his new suit, more yes. The news showing the attack from London and Mysterio’s message... eh, what?? Yeah, that was a surprise! I sat there, in the cinema with wide eyes and just millions of thoughts going through my head. Did Mysterio survive, or was that the last message before he finally died? Does a Multi-verse actually exist or was that too a part of Mysterio’s lie/illusion? And also, WHAT THE HECKITY-HECK, PETER’S IDENTITY??!! Is Peter fucked now or is he fucked?? And also, again, DAMN YOU MYSTERIO! WHY DID YOU BLAME PETER FOR THE LONDON THING??!! AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! And lastly, this is the last by the way, promise... J. K. Simmons playing J. Jonah Jameson. Cool to finally see this character in the MCU.

I hope you got all the way through that! It was a lot, even for me. If you got any thoughts, please comment. Also, I probably did not mention everything but I don’t remember everything in detail. It really was a great movie! 10/10 from me. Really suggest watching it. Great balance between action and humor.

Tell me why your favourite butterfly soup character is a better indicator to your personality then anything else.

Oh your favourite character is diya? So you have social anxiety and have a thing for girls who look like they could snap your neck if they breathed in your general area, but are actually real sweethearts. And you’re gay

Oh so you like min? Ok so you are in the middle of a gender crisis and probably has a lot of trauma and daddy issues. Your friends compare you to a raccoon a little bit too much. You’re also very gay.

Oh you really like noelle? How’s the mommy issues and undiagnosed mental illnesses that you refuse to go to a therapist for? Your also REALLY gay.

Oh you relate to akarsha? That adhd and crippling guilt over having depressing thoughts but not wanting to off yourself so you feel like you are faking both must be really hard. Also holy shit you’re really gay.

I buried the hatchet, but still find myself occasionally running my fingers over the edge as a reminder not to get close to you anymore...

Иногда я задумываюсь о том, что процесс создания моего фанатского произведения (будем это так называть) словно является загрузкой (допустим как обычная загрузка в компьютере), то есть пока я живу, в определенный момент времени у меня в голове непринужденно появляются дополнения и продолжение к уже создающейся истории. Они просто появляются в моей голове тогда, когда нужно, как будто это так и должно.

Если в начале всей этой затеи, я принужденно старалась что-то «слепить», потому как хотела иметь готовый фанатский роман уже «здесь и сейчас», то сейчас когда я отпустила «быстроту» и начала просто жить, не совершая над собой форменное насилие в попытке сочинить все сразу, идеи и дополнения стали появляется сами с собой в определенные моменты жизни, когда меня что-то удивляет, радует, или я о чем-либо задумываюсь. Таким образом многое из моей жизни и личных ценностей я неосознанно «примеряю» в этот непринужденно созданный в голове мир, в то время как этот мир живет своей жизнью все больше и больше…

Daydreaming about getting my nose pierced, getting really buff and getting more tattoos !!!

I remember a while ago there were several metas talking about Bucky being right-handed (which he then confirms in TFATWS) while the Winter Soldier is left-handed, usually using this scene as proof:

And maybe even this:

But recently I saw several gif sets of Bucky on the train right before the fall (one of which I’ll reblog after this) and look:

He’s moving the gun between his left hand and right hand interchangeably, even when the right arm is not injured. In a later scene, he takes down the trooper with a single shot with left-handed aim — so he’s no slouch on that side. He then goes back to using his right hand when he picks up the shield.

On the converse, the Winter Soldier also uses his right hand and left hand interchangeably, notably in that scene:

In fact I think if you do an overall tally of how both Bucky and the Winter Soldier reach for their weapons — whether that’s a rocket launcher or a gun or knives — you’ll find that the majority of the time it’s in their right hand (just a quick GIF search would prove this). But the times they do use it in their left hand, they are still dangerously competent with it.

So I think Bucky (and the Winter Soldier) is right-hand dominant as he says, but he’s learned to use his left hand competently as a shooter before became the Winter Soldier. He’s then turned it into a useful skill to throw off his opponents.

Up until this point he’s been trying to stab Steve with his right hand, but Steve keeps blocking it with his shield. When Bucky drops the knife into his left hand, Steve’s attention follows the knife and Bucky instead uses his right hand to punch Steve in the head.

I think another part of the “Winter Soldier is left-handed” thought comes from the fact he often uses the left arm for brute force tasks - like ripping off doors from cars and helicopters, and punching into cement.

For most of us, our dominant hand is both the stronger and more dextrous hand, but for Bucky his right hand is more dextrous while his left arm is stronger (we’ll just accept the science of that for now…). So I feel like this is something that Bucky has learned to adapt — he uses that left arm for tasks that require the mechanical strength or as a metal shield, while the right is still his instinctive go-to for fine coordination tasks.

How, why, and when Bucky learned to be ambidextrous not just for firearms but also for hand to hand combat is a delicious source of angst worth exploring.

I've been feeling a bit depressed for a while and it inspired me to draw this picture

(Generative) AI is like a brain-melting parasite that sucks the life out of its hosts’ ideas and creativity and moves on when stuffed, carrying the last of its meal on it as it feasts on other unwilling people. Also like how bees do with pollen and nectar, but in a less beautiful way.

(If that makes sense-)

if it isn't me, god's favourite sacrificial lamb, then who will be the most psychotic prophet this world has ever seen?

My niche comfort characters are Germans voiced by Liam O'Brien

Sometimes I think about how Wolverine is canonically 5' 3" he is only a baby man

I think, my strong pull to wanting to live in a city comes from the standard "no one knows who I am" but also the opportunity to be anyone. I could just be a person, but I could also be a star someday, and people don't know it yet.

Well, this might be overly simplified, but yes, we Stan!!!

Fuck that, okay let’s say this, I wish I had someone like that to guide and take care of me in a way that’s not super overwhelming. Iron man has insane power over Peter but the fondness is what makes their relationship amazing. And noooo, it’s not romantic or anything like that it’s the most parental type. Peter Parker started as a lonely teen like a lot of people, and an icon like Iron man, turning into this friendship/mentor/paternal figure is the best thing that happened. Anyways, booo, for Marvel killing off a god, now Spider-Man has to carry the the universe on his back. Also high hopes for Loki!!!! (P.s why does everyone I like die, in literally any material I consume)

Peter: Thanks for the new suit Mr Stark! You’re the best thing to ever happen to me!

Tony: I’m the best thing that ever happened to you?

Peter: Yep!

Tony: I’m not gonna lie kid I’m starting to feel a little sorry for you

My Thoughts On The Little Mermaid Live Action — The Scuttlebutt

It’s not so bad.

The Scuttlebutt didn’t feel so out of place. Out of context it feels weird but with the context not so much. Because Scuttles mostly blabbers in the movie.

The rap wasn’t bad in my opinion.

Also, I found Daveed Diggs’ (he voices Sebastian in the live action) rap at the end of the song to hype up Ariel to get ready to be kinda similar to Daveed Diggs role in Hamilton as Lafayette when he was telling Washington to get his right hand man back for the war. If this was intentional, it felt like a nice reference.

My Thoughts On The Little Mermaid Live Action

I personally loved the movie.

The visual affects were stunning. It made it seem like it was actually taking place underwater, which was the point and they achieved that pretty well.

I personally don’t mind Flounder and Sebastian looking realistic because every other fish is also realistic in the movie, so they fit in and don’t look out of place.

I especially loved the music. I’m a huge fan of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s work in general, and he did not disappoint and amazed me with his work once again. In my opinion the songs were the most entertaining and enjoyable part of the movie and kept it from being boring.

The songs feel like musical theater songs, I’m not surprised by that because Lin-Manuel Miranda worked on them and he has worked for Broadway musicals before. They sounded fantastic.

The Scuttlebutt didn’t feel so out of place. Out of context it feels weird but with the context not so much. Because Scuttles mostly blabbers in the movie.

The rap wasn’t bad in my opinion.

Also, I found Daveed Diggs’ (he voices Sebastian in the live action) rap at the end of the song to hype up Ariel to get ready to be kinda similar to Daveed Diggs role in Hamilton as Lafayette when he was telling Washington to get his right hand man back for the war. If this was intentional, it felt like a nice reference.

I love how different Halle Bailey is to the original Ariel.

The original Ariel’s Part of Your World song seemed a bit melancholic and Ariel seemed resigned to her fate. Halle Bailey’s Ariel’s Part of Your World song was a combination of frustration and determination. This made the two reprises of the song later on in the film even more powerful. With one being hopeful and the other being sorrowful. I commend Halle Bailey on conveying all those different emotions, she’s an excellent singer and actress.

Unlike the animated film, Ariel doesn't actually go up to the surface until after her fight with her father which is a small but smart change that I liked. Instead of being rebellious because she's a teenager this version of Ariel is frustrated at the fact that she's constantly ignored and controlled and I like that Triton's unreasonable behavior effectively becomes the catalyst for her to go to the surface, I like that irony.

The storm in the beginning of the movie felt almost identical to the animated movie. The effects felt realistic and climactic.

I love how Ariel got a song when she first became a human. It made us see her perspective and understand her better.

Compared to to the animated Ariel, this version of Ariel was less Love Struck. Instead she seems to be more intrigued by Eric in the human world which does feel more realistic. It shows her curiosity for the human world a lot more. Which is a change I liked.

I’m glad they didn’t go for the love at first sight thing for the remake and gave Ariel and Eric time to bond. I loved the chemistry between them.

I personally prefer their bonding time in the live action over the dinner they had in the original, and we still got a “dinglehopper” scene.

Also, I found the way Eric learned Ariel’s name to be adorable.

In the animated film it's kind of a love at first sight moment with Ariel falling for Eric after he talks about looking for his dream girl but in the live action it's more like their kindred spirits both feeling pressured to live up to their family's expectations of them and sharing a desire to explore the world. They understood each other and related to one another without the use of words, which I find adorable.

I loved the market Eric and Ariel went to. The production team made a fantastic job, it really seemed like it could be a marketplace in the kingdom. I also love the choreography, the music and the dance for the place, it seemed very fitting and not out of place.

I also love how we got to see Prince Eric’s side of the story, he even had his own song.

In my opinion him being adopted gives him more character depth, him loosing his parents in a shipwreck gives him more reason to be so drawn to the sea.

When Eric recovered he sends people to look for the girl who saved him and I like that he takes a more active role in finding her in the live action, unlike in the animated movie where he’s just wandering around on a beach. Because of the incident his mother forbids him from sailing again which leads to our first new song of the film wild Uncharted Waters. The lyrics are filled with Maritime references which are a bit obvious which is good in my opinion because it makes the viewer understand them easier. It works for the new direction they've taken with Eric's character. It feels like a heartfelt song, I think Jonah Hauer-King made a great delivery of it.

I also liked how Ariel instantly forgot she had to kiss Eric. It made it seem like their love was even more “impossible” because if she couldn’t kiss Eric she’d turn back into a mermaid and be under Ursula’s control. It also made Ursula even more evil.

Ursula and Triton were actually siblings during the early development of the 1989 film but this dynamic was scrapped, I’m glad we got to see it in the live action.

I think Trident and Ursula being related helps with Ariel’s deal with Ursula.

Because Ariel had never met Ursula, she had just heard what her father said about her. She doesn’t fully believe her father because he also told her people are evil and she saw that to be false with her own eyes when she saw Eric. She was already doubting about what her father thought of “evil”.

She had also just gotten into a big fight with him and her trust for him had decreased.

She was also scared of her and thought about leaving but Ursula successfully manipulated her.

I also think the live action Ursula is pretty good. She’s manipulative and evil, she also has a great voice.

Overall, I think the changes were good changes and fit into the story.

My Thoughts On A Harry Potter Reboot/Remake

To be honest, I would prefer a Marauders prequel series to see everything that happened before Harry.

Land Of Lost

Carcasses of memories where her heart belonged,

Ashes of words where her thoughts corrode,

Dreams spread out on a silken cloth,

Just to be washed away by the storm.

Rocks of love in the pendant she worn,

But what use is it of when her lover's gone?

Hopes written and collected in a jar of glass,

Only to be broken and thrown away in trash.

Her melodies like a forgotten tune,

Played on an abandoned broken record,

Waves residing where her eyes belonged,

In the end she was the oceans favorite song,

Carried away by the waves to the land of lost.

Choas of thoughts

Sitting alone in the dark brooding night

The party in full swing yet she's left out

The nicotine in her system

Along with dreams and hopes

But she's never satisfied

Now she can't hear her thoughts

Because in her head chaos is rooted

Turning to leave or to leap into desperation

But she's fine because she knows

She knows the sting of thorns of love

She knows her drugs

She knows her love

All the pills she is high on

All the nights she'd spent crying

She knows her addiction

She knows her desperation

So she is going back

Back to where she started of.

Before death, I must live.

The life that goes by.

The Void

The rustle in the leaves, the pitter and patter

Not a single noise, not a single clatter

The void is watching but the world is blind

The creaks have quieted yet the mess is in the mind.

Winds picking up, the window rattle with violence

Where are my thoughts, guess I lost them in silence.

Rain is falling but the man in front of me stays dry

Is he the sins I committed or simply the void?

My hands are covered in blood in the dark

She turns on the light and it's just the ink

I ask her to tell me the difference and she's silent

For the pen and the gun are both weapon and waste depending on the hands.

If you were a puzzle piece and I was a square, I would ruin my edges just so we could fit together.

I was never a human. I was just longing and melancholy that was shaped into one.

And now my tears won't stop because I'm melancholic tonight. Because I feel incomplete tonight.

I hate when the voices around me fade because I cannot stop wondering if i even matter.

And maybe when the thrill fades we'll realize how we were never too far from drifting apart.

Dim lit windows

Dim lit windows at 1am, the record playing the same song,

Candles burning out, on the table are waiting more,

Pages filled with grief, her tears are the ink,

Dim lit windows at 1:30am, wonder if she ever sleeps.

Dim lit windows at 2:00am, the wind is blowing low,

Leaves rustle in the tree, a scent of caffeine from the stove,

Curtains left open, the red dress hanging from the door,

Dim lit windows at 2:30am, wonder if she didn't find a date for prom.

Dim lit windows at 3:00am, the rain is falling now,

Her shadow calmly walks upstairs, the cup of coffee left alone,

Caught the sight of her midnight black hair, the image was fickle,

Dim lit windows at 3:30am, the rain stopped, not a single ripple.

Dim lit windows at 4:00am, the curtains now closed,

Yet my thoughts are plagued by her and the melody of her favorite song,

The night is never dark for her, the street lamp making her feel at ease,

Dim lit windows at 5:00am, she has finally found peace in dreams.

The Obsession

Sinking my teeth in, the warmth of his skin,

I'm haunting his nightmares, taunting his demons,

I'm the creature living in his closet,

The whispers when the light goes out,

I'm the demon in his mirrors, the insanity he's afraid of.

Candle light dinner with cherries and wine,

The food stays untouched, growing cold in night,

Cause he's the one I want in my plate,

The one I want to dissolve in my wine,

Take him like my schizophrenic pills.

Serve him in my plate like the prey caught,

To fulfill the craving of him that makes me crazy,

Rip him apart for me when he crawls to me,

When he's on his knees, ready to worship me,

Keep him in the glass case and lock it,

Keep him struck in the house of mirrors,

Where he will only come back to me.

I have many regrets but oh my love, I'm afraid you will be that one I'll never be able to forget.