Smaug - Blog Posts

I love dragons <3

Karat the Golden

"I remember when that dragon was small and frail. Like a mere spark of lightning. How he has grown into a kingdom killing monster; a god. Perhaps it was wrong for Lera to offer him godhood. Some see it that way. I do not. He proved himself worthy."

"In accordance, I would warn you with a threat not to speak ill of him, but uhhh... you mortals... you have those... survival instincts? A little voice in your head that holds you back from casting your hand into the fire? That voice is the same telling you not to insult the equivalent of a miniature star lest you he utterly removed from existence through sheer wrath and lightning."

"He reminds me of a cat you let loose in a barn - one that hunts your royal rats out of their palaces until they have nowhere to hide. Do not insult the gods again... Karat itches to be let loose. Half your continent will burn."

-Prince Charlemagne, God of the Stars, of Wishes and of War, to Colton van Baint, mortal King of Veitryia, in a thorough warning.

Naomi and Cataclysm

dragon practice with our fav golden plated guy

My friend shares a birthday with Wanderer (and Tolkien) so this was their birthday card this year

Yes this is late

Okay, hear me out. The Lord of the Rings…but they’re allowed to use curse words…

“They have a fucking cave troll...”

“I cannot jump the distance! You’ll have to fucking toss me!”

“Merry! It’s Frodo fucking Baggins!”

“Gods damn it…a Balrog of fucking Morgoth.”

“Fool of a fucking Took.”

“Bitch, please. I am no man.”

“Peregrin Took, you little shit!”

“By nightfall, these hills will be crawling with fucking orcs.”

“I think I’ve fucking broken something.”

“Your bodyguard?” “His fucking gardener.”

“I would cut off your head, you little shit, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.”

“You’re late…you look fucking terrible.”

“And for you Frodo Baggins…Elrond’s father in a fucking bottle.”

“PO-FUCKING-TA-TOES!”

Accountant AU where the reader works for a small town firm called “Istari Financial.” Making her living after coming home from college, looking after the books for the following local businesses…

The local vineyard, “Greenwood Acres” which has been around longer than anyone can remember, run by a single father as head of the business and a very dedicated team of young employees. Everyone from college hires to long time employees, but nobody in town can quite tell just how old anyone is.

A local business ring run by the Durinson Family who own nearly every business in town. The local brewery, the auto repair shop, the car dealership, the pawn shop, etc. They run everything as a family, but all answer to the head of the family, a bachelor who’s yet to get married as he’s “married to his work.” Though, he secretly has his eyes set on someone in town. Who though? Nobody knows…

The bakery at the center of town, called “Lorien Confection” where the man behind the counter greets customers, serves icecream and brags about his wife while the white witch in the kitchen rolls out goodie after goodie by the dozen of sugar-coated goodness. The baker earning the title of witch as she always seems to know what people want before they do.

The coffee/tea shop doubling as a wholistic whole foods store run by three best friends who rejected their respected posh lifestyles and struck out on their own straight out of college to bring clean, organic food to the town sourced from local farms. A store called “Three Hunters Whole Foods.”

A fish farming organization called “Bard & Son Fishery,” that works hard to protect local wildlife conservation run by a father of three which provides clean, non-gmo fish, hydroponic-grown greens, vegetables and strives to teach young people about respecting the planet and sustainable farming on field trips for the local elementary school.

And who could forget the local bar/restaurant, run by the Baggins family, Uncle and Nephew, along with their friends who provide an atmosphere of home and hearth hospitality to any and all who cross their threshold…right up until somebody asks them to host a party that doesn’t involve their catering.

And last but not least, the readers worst enemy, “Mordor Credit,” the local bank out to screw everyone over and take their businesses. The reader often times being the only thing standing between them and a hefty audit…or worse, an eviction…



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