Dive Deep into Creativity: Discover, Share, Inspire
It’s a pretty average day aboard the ship. Karen is high off her ass, Moss is trying to make friends with the feral ratbirds that live in the pipes, and Steve is trying to teach Bastier (the newest crew member) how to juggle.
Zzgnaru walks through the ship with a deep sense of satisfaction. None of the humans have said anything weird lately, nothing’s caught on fire for weeks, and Karen’s almost out of drugs. That won’t be a problem at all in a few days!
As xey pass the common room, xey hear Steve talking to his boyfriend, Josh, and Bastier. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna buy a few new skins. My current one feels kinda lame.”
Zzgnaru immediately feels like xey’ve heard something xey weren’t supposed to. Xey retreat to the bridge, where Moss and Karen sit with Amethyst (a Penaconian), Douri (an Aaki), and Banana, Moss’ current situationship, braiding each other’s hair. Karen takes one look at xir face, and excuses herself.
“Zzgnaru, hon, what’s up?” She asks, walking with xem through the corridors. “I heard Steve tell Josh and Bastier that he was going to purchase some flesh,” xey explain. Karen gives him a confused look, and asks, “Do you remember exactly what they said? Because Steve doesn’t strike me as a serial killer or a dude who’d like human taxidermy.”
Zzgnaru thinks for a moment, and then says, “I believe that he said he was going to ‘buy some new skins.’ Josh and Bastier seemed to think this was completely normal.” Karen stops, and just stares at him for a second. Then she bursts into laughter. “Oh, Zzgnaru, bae, they were talking about video games. ‘Skin’ is slang for the outfit your character is wearing. It’s not actual flesh,” she crows. Zzgnaru sighs in relief. “Thank the universe. I thought I was going to have to call in the authorities.”
Karen just laughs harder. “You know you wouldn’t. I mean, I’m literally in possession of highly illegal drugs all the time, Moss is a stalker, and Amethyst and Banana have blackmailed almost everyone on our ship- and others- at least once.”
Zzgnaru sighs in resignation. She’s right, though. Xey’re not about to sell out xir crewmates.
My mother used to attend Trinity University in Chicago, Illinois. In her last semester living there, she and her roomate, Michelle, decided to break all (most of) the rules.
One of these rules was "Do not steal."
So, she and her friend decided to be ridiculous. They brought my mom's Honda Accord to the campus, grabbed a bench, put it in the car, and drove away.
To this day, we still have that bench. It sat on my front porch until last night, when my mom and I were coming back to that house to get my supplies for fending off Satan's Waterfall. She was reminiscing, and decided to 'steal' the bench from my dad.
She put it in the backseat. I didn't even notice it. So this morning/afternoon/idk, she tells me this story, and shows me the bench, sitting on my grandparents' front patio.
I'm not sure how to feel, honestly. I'm conflicted between finding it hilarious and being impressed.