Interested In Doing This Again Please!!!

random idea:

getting brainwashed so your deadname real name becomes a trigger that turns you on…

oh wait… that already happend 😵‍💫💕

Even when I was a girl this was the kind of girl I tried to be lol

you just made it sound like that i guess 😭

Okay well I also said I’m intersex lol 😭

Even when I go off hrt for two months I don’t think there’s a remarkably high amount of t in my system.

All I’ve noticed from going off hrt for a long time is

1. Easier to get erections

2. I’ve noticed like two (2) new strands of facial hair on my cheek.

I do kinda look like a boy but that’s just because I’ve been wearing a lot of t-shirts and hoodies and that combined with the short hair comes across as boy coded.

Also I turn 25 soon and if I try to look like a guy I look maybe 20 at the absolute oldest. I actually put a picture of me right before starting hrt (when I was 19) and a picture of me a couple months ago (at 24) and I look younger in the picture from 2025, which just kind of demonstrates that at worst I look like a boy, not a man.

chat am i a boy?

genuinely please come in my dms and goon with me and try to get me to develop new weird kinks, especially if its cringe.

please someone come in my dms are scrub any hint of femininity out of my head!!!

I need to be brainwashed out of touch with my feminine side, just completely erased and out of touch with anything remotely feminine

I don’t really know how realistic it is for me to not shave for months, or maybe even forever… I need someone to hold me accountable I guess. I’ve been getting a lot of doubts about detrans lately and that’s unacceptable. That’s why it needs to be forced on me to some extent. I might never stick to it on my own.

you are a man

well duh

What makes you feel like a girl? Asking so you know what to get rid of.

Oh that’s an interesting question with a complicated answer and I’m not quite sure I’m in the headspace to answer it thoroughly.

To be perfectly honest I’m intersex, my genitals are mostly the same for a male so it wasn’t super explicitly obvious at first, but a lot of other things were not normal for me, so my experience with biological sex when I started puberty was not typical for a male, and I grew breasts and didn’t have much testosterone. I identified more strongly with being a girl in middle school because I felt like I related to the girls in my class more than the boys and even my experiences with my body developing made me feel like I wasn’t anything like “normal” boys. I don’t know if I mentioned this here but I actually initially transitioned in middle school and don’t even really have much experience with being male besides a window of a few years as a teenager when i gave it a shot.

My voice sounds like a cis woman’s voice, and to even sound male at all it hurts a bit after a while and doesn’t even necessarily sound convincing, my mannerisms and behaviors are typically feminine, I just generally don’t come across as male in any way.

Lately I’ve had short hair, I’ve been wearing hoodies and jeans, sometimes I don’t shave for a week.

It’s still “here’s your food honey!” “we’ll be right with you miss” “have a nice day ma’am” and men asking if I have a boyfriend, guys talking down to me and over-explaining things… It has always been this way for me. I have much more experience living the typical life of a girl and then as a woman. Even when I tried to be a guy from around age 16 to 19 it was extremely fake and I wasn’t very good at it and people still assumed I was a girl sometimes. I’d get the occasional “oh I thought you were just a tomboy” from kids I didn’t know that well in high school.

So, everything about me is female. I’m basically a cis girl with male genitals. I never had any shot of being a man. I think that’s why detrans kink is so hot to me? but it’s also why it’s so impractical.

I’m like actively trying to be a guy lately and failing, so idk what to do. I’m probably just an intersex girl.

I’ve been going through discord messages and my posts and such and I think detrans kink has been less appealing to me for several weeks now, pretty much all of May. I’m still getting off to it yeah, but at some point I realized how unhealthy it was for me, then I got really turned on by how unhealthy it was for me, and then I just started getting kinda sick of it.

I think I want to try to go back to one of my favorite kink fixations which was objectification through worship, which I was really into in 2022. Like yeah I’m dominant and alluring and powerful, but people only view that through the lens of me being porn, which makes it also kind of submissive. I miss those days. I want to go back to those days. I don’t even know if there’s a word for it.