Latest Posts by jellomortality - Page 3

Dunno if you've heard of this website (I may have discovered it from you now that I think about it), but it produces beautiful, terrible masterpieces.

You type in whatever gibberish you feel like and press create, and an AI will attempt to draw your words over the course of a few minutes. Due to the way the AI interprets words and pictures, you can type the same words in multiple times and get different pictures each time. Here's a few examples:

Cat, Master of Dreams

Beacon

Trollface.jpg

Stellar coral from planet 9

(trypophobia warning for the 4 bee pics below)

4 variations of "bee nest"

And last but not least...

Biggest gaudiest patronuses

(I was hoping the AI would have heard of you, but no dice :/)

I'm having a rough week, tell me something nice?

Just a quick thing

Found it on Twitter, from @WholesomeMeme

I'm having a rough week, tell me something nice?

WEDNSDAY 

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

... yeah, that sounds horrible enough to be Hell

meteorologically speaking, Hell’s atmosphere is mostly composed of fire and brimstone, right?

please Gaud have mercy

meteorologically speaking, Hell’s atmosphere is mostly composed of fire and brimstone, right?

Another addition to my list of story ideas to write (eventually... maybe... someday...)

wait so technically vampires are vegetarians

Let me answer your question with a question: is autocannibalism still cannibalism?

is biting your fingernails vegan? i want to hear debate on this

That's Strange, I was quite Charmed by their flavor. I suppose everyone has their quarks

What would you do if I pulled the electrons from your body

i would feel positively about that 

I spent 15 minutes looking up how to pickle bodies, and now that's stuck in my search history. Incidentally, I look forward to your new bog mummy form

in death I wish to be pickled

*holds a Bedazzler gun to your torso* Show us the kitty or I'll make your spleen pretty

my indoor cat is constantly trying to get outside, and today they briefly succeeded when I was coming in. which means I got the satisfaction of seeing a manic little kitty cat running full throttle out the front doorway only to IMMEDIATELY hit the brakes looney tunes style and do a 180° warp speed back inside upon discovering themself in the midst of a pouring thunderstorm

I added arrows 'cuz I got bored one day. This accurate?

Who wants to see the horrible, horrible family tree I made for my BNHA fic?

(With ~many~ spoilers for the fic.)

The sign of high quality is the fact the book was banned by the government. Trash literature NEVER EVER had any troubles with the law.

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.

Picture a vampire who delivers blood bags for the Red Cross. They’re surrounded by living blood bags whenever they leave their truck, and by literal blood bags while on the road. It’s relatively easy to “lose” a bag here and "discard” an “expired” bag there, even easier if expired blood can still be eaten. However, if something unforeseen occurs, they may have to take a little - or a lot - extra. The higher ups don’t like when donated blood goes missing...

And maybe there are the other vampires who try to steal blood bags, impulsive or desperate people who risk outing themselves for food. How would they see the delivery vampire? How would they be seen?

Companies are starting to use drones to deliver blood to hospitals, ever since Zipline launched in Rwanda in 2014. Would this be an opportunity, or an obstacle? On the one hand, it’s even easier to make blood disappear when you’re the only one with records of where it’s going, and you don’t even have to go outside. On the other, the vampire risks getting replaced at their job, and not being able to adapt to drone work quick enough to get the job. After all, once you’ve gotten used to three meals a day, it’s hard to go back to scrounging or hunting for your dinner...

The kingdom that used to reign here was very particular about dancing. One day, an architect named Walter Chasse invented a special dance floor such that in order to pass through, one had to literally waltz across the room. If you mis-stepped, a rubber-tipped dart would “helpfully” point out your error. The queen absolutely loved it, and commissioned several for the royal grounds. These dance floors eventually became fashionable among the nobility, who used them in games of political one-upmanship. Eventually, someone had the bright idea to replace the “permissive” rubber-tipped darts for a more “exacting” variety, and the rest is history.

When you enter this room, why does the door shut and lock itself, and why do the walls start to close in very slowly?

Why do we even HAVE that lever?

Back in the day, my old gaming group used to play a game called “why do we even have that lever?”. It works like this:

1. Person A describes a puzzle or trap - the sort of bizarre adventurer-shredding contraption you might encounter in the course of an old-school dungeon crawl that makes absolutely no sense if the dungeon in question was ever supposed to be a facility that people actually used.

2. Person B proposes an explanation for what the “trap” in question is really for - i.e., why it’s not a trap at all, but a totally practical feature of whatever sort of place the dungeon originally was.

3. Person B then describes their own trap to keep the game going.

The only hard rule is that the explanation offered in step 2 absolutely can’t be “it’s a puzzle” or “it’s a trap”; you have to propose some pragmatic function that actually makes sense in the context of the dungeon being the ruins of someplace where people lived and worked. The way it currently works can be justified as a consequence of it having malfunctioned or partially fallen apart, but there has to be some plausible purpose it could have originally served.

For example, I might ask:

“Why is there a room where the entire ceiling is a giant magnet?”

… and you might respond:

“It’s a security checkpoint for the armoury of magical weapons that lies beyond. The presence of the magnet means that weapons can only be safely brought in and out of the armoury using special weighted cases, making it very difficult to steal or substitute items.”

“It’s a laboratory formerly used for experiments involving dangerous creatures from the Elemental Plane of Earth. The powerful magnetic field wholly paralyses all but the mightiest earth elementals, allowing them to be studied at one’s leisure.”

“It’s the old Queen’s gaming room. During her reign, a game of strategy involving man-sized stone pieces on a multi-level board had become fashionable. Though most such games required large work crews to move the pieces around, the Queen’s magnetic chamber - in conjunction with large metal bars driven into the core of each piece - allows the pieces to be manipulated by a single person. Many of the pieces still lay scattered about the room, in various states of disrepair.”

Then you’d describe your own trap.

I’ll start us off with a simple (and apropos) one:

Why is there a lever that drops a giant stone block on the person who pulled it?

Fanfiction: Alphys and Undyne’s First Date

The Undertale fandom seems obsessed with the skelebros and admittedly so am I, but I want to give a little love to Undertale’s cutest couple!

______________________________________________

Undyne sits on a bench in a large park. In the distance there are people playing Frisbee and soccer, but no one is nearby. Her girlfriend, Alphys – and she still can’t get over saying that – is grabbing some ice cream from a nearby store. Undyne had wanted to go with her, but Alphys insisted on paying this time. Something about “raising her affection stat”.

Come to think of it, shouldn’t she be back by now? Undyne gets out her phone to ask how Alphys is doing.

"Ohmigod, ohmigod, UNDYNE!"

Undyne starts, nearly dropping her phone. She turns to see her normally-shy girlfriend running with two claws full of ice cream cups.

"Undyne!" Alphys shouts. "Guess what!" She thrusts one of the cups in front of Undyne's face.

Undyne blinks. The ice cream looks a little like coffee flavor, with a few black flecks. It's still cold, and smells like salt. "What kind of ice cream is this?" she asks.

"It's snail ice cream!" Alphys says, bouncing on her toes. "I saw it in the store and I couldn't believe it SNAIL ICE CREAM IS REAL and I just had to try it omigodit'sjustlikeMewMewKissyCutieEEEEEEEEE!"

Alphys is so adorable when she gets like this. Undyne grins as the little yellow dinosaur shows more enthusiasm than she has all day, eyes bright and words flying. Alphys hadn’t been nearly as excited when they played paintball, though maybe Undyne had been too busy hunting the humans to notice. In fact, she’d been a bit scared of the other players. Undyne thought she’d had fun, though, but it was nothing compared to this.

"-and then she brings them back to her friends, but... it... turns out... they don't like them..." Alphys trails off, and her face falls. "oh no..."

"What?" Undyne asks. To her horror, Alphys begins to hyperventilate and her hands shake.

"Oh no! I forgot you wanted strawberry!" Alphys wails. She drops the ice cream and covers her face in shame. The cups bounce on the sidewalk. "I'm so sorry, Undyne! I must be trash, what kind of person forgets to get the right ice cream-"

"Alphys!"

"-I should have just gone with the flavor you asked for, I knew I was going to screw this up-"

"Alphys!"

"-I've been a mess this whole date, why did I even do this, i should have just stayed home, iamsuchapieceof-"

"ALPHYS!"

Alphys squeaks, cringing away. Undyne feels guilt crawling on her back. She knew Alphys was a little out of her comfort zone, but she hadn't thought it was this bad! They were supposed to be having fun!

Alphys sniffles a little, and Undyne immediately pulls her into a hug. Alphys "eep"s and freezes, then hugs Undyne back. A wet patch grows on Undyne's shoulder, and her soul aches. She rubs her girlfriend's back soothingly. "There, there," she mutters. "It's okay."

"i'm sorry," says Alphys, voice muffled by cloth.

Undyne shakes her head. "It's alright, Alphys."

"B-but the ice cream-"

"It's fine. I'm not mad about the ice cream."

Undyne pushes her back up so she can look Alphys in the eye. "I told you, I love how passionate you are. I love the energy you put into things, whether that's science or snail ice cream. And just a few minutes ago, that was the most passionate I've seen you all day."

Alphys blushes and looks away. She wipes at her eyes, but she's smiling.

"If anything, I'm the one who should be sorry," says Undyne.

The small dinosaur looks at her with confusion. "W- for what?" she asks.

Now Undyne looks away, shame curling in her gut. "I'm sorry you were so stressed out this whole date," she says. "You didn't really want to go to that paintball place, did you?"

"W-well, I suppose I..." Alphys trails off. "It wouldn't have been my first choice."

Undyne's shoulders droop.

"But..."

Undyne looks up. Alphys looks her straight in the eye, and gives a small smile. "But I wanted to go there with you. You'd been talking about the place all week."

"I was?" Undyne asked.

Alphys nods. "I wanted to see you out there, battling people, letting nothing stand in your way, fighting with you side by side... You were amazing.

"And it was fun! I actually hit someone, and you covered that one jerk in paint, and we ambushed their base like in Sable Swamp, and it was so cool!"

Alphys's eyes sparkle with a familiar glow, and Undyne thinks she might have fallen in love all over again.

"So, you don't have to be sorry about our date," Alphys says. "I had fun."

Undyne sighs, a weight lifting off her back. "So did I." She flashes Alphys a grin. "But maybe next time, we'll do something a little less extreme."

"N-next time?!" Alphys stammers. "You mean it?"

"Heck yeah I mean it! You're not getting rid of me that easy!"

"W-well, then, how about... a movie? At my place?"

"YEAH!" Undyne yells, pumping both fists into the sky. "Let's do it right now!... if you're up to it." The fish woman glances at Alphys cautiously.

Alphys nods, and Undyne quickly scoops up the yellow lizard (“U-Undyne!”). Alphys tries to cover her blush with her claws. Undyne is about to run to Alphys's house, but then pauses. She looks down, where Alphys dropped the two ice creams. One cup has spilled, but the other has miraculously landed bottom-down.

Alphys squeaks when Undyne places the still cold ice cream in her hands. "You said this was snail ice cream, right?" Undyne says.

"Uh-huh," the flustered dino replies. "You... you don't have to try any if you don't want to."

"Yeah, but you wanted to, right?"

"Oh! R-right!"

Alphys grabs the spoon and scoops up a small bite of ice cream. She opens her mouth, puts the spoon inside, closes her lips around the handle...

And a shudder runs through her body.

"Well?" Undyne asks.

"I think I know why only Mew Mew likes this flavor."

"That bad?"

"It's, uh..." Alphys winces a bit. Suddenly, she stills, and a crafty smile spreads across her face. "It's not for the faint of heart," she says, semi-casually.

"... is that a CHALLENGE?!" demands Undyne, determination running through her.

Alphys glances to the side. "... maybe a little."

Undyne sets Alphys down and grabs the ice cream. "No dessert is gonna get the best of me!" she declares. "NGAAAAAAAH!"

With that, she takes the spoon out of the cup and bites down, engulfing half the ice cream in one go. "Shfee!" she gets out. "Ah can tfotawwy-"

A bolt of ice slams into her head. Her eyes widen. "Aagh!" she cries out, slapping her hands to her forehead. The cup falls from her hand.

"Undyne!" Alphys says, rushing to her side. "Undyne, are you alright?"

"Bwain fweeze!" Undyne yells. She cradles her head, still trying to consume the ice cream. She can’t even taste it.

Alphys stares, then a snort of amusement escapes. She covers her mouth, only for another to slip out. The dinosaur tries to smother her giggles, but soon she is on her knees, laughing hysterically.

As the pain subsides, Undyne starts laughing as well, and they collapse onto each other in a giggly pile.

Finally, the two calm down, with only a snigger here or there. They stand back up.

"Come on Alphys," Undyne says. "Let's go home."

And so they do.

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Am I in the fandom yet?