kurlik42

Latest Posts by kurlik42

Made a doodle, thought you might appreciate it 😇

... Hear me out??

I beat it 👍

... Gotta try P rank on violent now, byyee-

I started playing ULTRAKILL recently, though I've never even played shooters before and I'm playing it on a gamepad to suffer

How many times will I PERISH, how do you think (I currently started the third act. Yay 🎉)

I started playing ULTRAKILL recently, though I've never even played shooters before and I'm playing it on a gamepad to suffer

How many times will I PERISH, how do you think (I currently started the third act. Yay 🎉)

I think if AM would get a physical body, one of the first things he'd try are one of the most damaging things to a human body in a long run. Cigarettes, alcohol, drugs in general, so on. Consequences? Nah, he doesn't care. I see him like an impatient type to risk and rush things — childish, in a word. But that's understandable, given the fact that he was trapped in sensory deprivation for decades now. No wonder he simply wants to feel good for just a scrap of seconds. Do you remember that Futurama episode when Bender got a human body? Yeah, well, and then he died pretty soon. That's how I imagine AM would handle his body, as well. Like we can't expect him to care enough about his physical manifestation, as long as it can get him high, at least because he knows nothing about responsibility. He probably doesn't know how to, since he's never taken care of anything before: he used to get his way through physical power, so I suppose he would be a pretty reckless one. Besides, maybe he's a bit of a masochist. The pain is better than no senses at all. Perhaps he'd get experimental about this, given his "fantasy" and knowledge. Maybe if he could, he would have a million of vessels in store to switch between and just pick up a new one once the first one becomes dysfunctional. Also, people usually draw humanised AM more masculine leaning (at least because his voice is literally Harlan Ellison, duh), though I think he'd want to experience everything, including a female form, too. And I guess a lot of people have already noted this headcanon, but it won't hurt to say it again: sensory issues and sensory seeking behaviours. Now, I'm not sure what kind of textures exactly would make him uncomfortable and which he'd like (my first thought was water for some reason, lol), but I think that everything would overwhelm him at first, because "THE AIR TOUCHES ME". I can't help it, he just gives me a bit of autistic vibes... And maybe DID. And maybe- damn, he might have a bunch of disorders, now that I think about this. Which kinda makes me want to comfort him more. Anyway, he's a babygirl.

(I reblogged my previous post to clarify a few things. Again, it's about proship, so I've also put it in "read more".)

Thank you for all the activity on this post! I appreciate your clarifications and patience, now I can see that some of the statements and formulations I've made were wrong. I can see that not everything in that text is comprehensible, so I apologize for my English — it isn't my native language. Since censoring words isn't necessary on this site, I won't use the censorship anymore.

I agree that fiction and reality don't work in the same way and I believe it is fine to explore dark themes in fiction for any reason, as long as it doesn't hurt real people. If certain ships make a person happy and bring them comfort, there's likely no harm in it due to the fact that it's only fiction. It's not always used as a way to cope and it's fine to enjoy fiction due to different reasons, as well as it doesn't necessarily reflect a person's morals and beliefs. Also, as I understood, attraction towards anything doesn't make a person bad, since they can't control the feeling of attraction itself; rather, the actions speak volumes: if they decide to act on the urge and consciously hurt someone real, then they should be held responsible for the illegal act. However, if they decide against it, there's no specific action to judge them for. I believe that these people also deserve help and a safe space, because harassment and oppression never made anyone better, but everyone deserves a chance for a happy life. And of course, any sexual act in reality should be solely performed from consent after every party reached the legal age.

And to answer the question of the user miranova23: although I'm currently not pushed into such beliefs by my close social circle, the topic of proship makes me anxious due to confronting my previous beliefs. I'm not officially diagnosed with moral OCD, however, I'm indeed prone to questioning my morality every so often. So all of the questions I asked are hypothetical — I'm strongly against CSEM and no real child deserves to be hurt (the thought itself makes me uneasy). In case that was the case for concern, the question about monetisation of r34 with underage characters was asked because I wasn't sure whether it's appropriate to gain money from such art despite the depicted characters not being real. But I suppose it's fair to say that it depends on the laws of my country; besides, pixels can't consent, which is why being concerned about this in the first place isn't necessary, so it's better to focus on real victims who should have support and help. Even if so, I'm not going to draw sexualised minors at any point. I'm not judging those who do, since they don't harass real children and, again, just draw pixels, and I definitely will not harass and threaten people over it. I'm only saying that this content makes me uncomfortable and I prefer to skip it respectfully, because your kink is not my kink but your kink is okay. I think that not all kinds of content are for everyone, but it's alright. And yes, I suppose I could use therapy 😅 Perhaps I should learn not to give a fuck about others's business. I hope I answered your questions.

Feel free to correct me if I might be wrong somewhere — I simply would like to have a better perspective on the topic, because I strive to be a better person. Anyway, wish you all a great day!

(It's about proship, so I've put it in "read more" in case someone finds the topic uncomfortable. Take care)

Without negativity, I have a few controversial questions which I'd like to see from some different angles. It's curiosity, but not an accusation by any means — I just question my moral beliefs, so I don't want to cause arguments but a discussion. And you aren't obligated to answer all the questions and aren't obliged to answer at all, of course.

With all due respect, what I'd like to ask is:

Can "proship" be considered a bad coping mechanism? Does the media that one enjoys reflects their morals and beliefs? Also, I'm not sure if that's okay to sexualise and fetishize underage people, even if it's fictional. I understand that it's often a way to cope with trauma, I don't mean to invalidate it in any way and I'm not a doctor, though I can't decide whether it's a healthy way to process it. I once heard an argument that it works in a similar way with gambling and p0rn addiction, as in indulging in fantasies and letting urges control one's behaviour, but I'm not sure if it's really so. Isn't it possible to see ped0phile inclinations in a person through the media they consume and produce? Also, is it okay to monetise drawn child p0rn? Because this content is created specifically with the idea to get turned on by drawn kids, which sounds not so far from getting off on real ones (with the difference that in the first case, it's fictional, so no real kid is technically hurt; however, the attraction is still caused by knowing the drawn person is underage, so the mechanism remains the same).

So all in all, I think there are concerning people on both the proship and antis sides. Which doesn't mean that every person in both communities is inherently bad or good, but I think it's important to acknowledge that there can and will be people who do questionable things from both sides. I also would like to clarify that I'm against threats and bullying over fiction, respect should be always prioritised.

Thank you for your patience, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable or understood something wrong.

(It's about proship, so I've put it in "read more" in case someone finds the topic uncomfortable. Take care)

Without negativity, I have a few controversial questions which I'd like to see from some different angles. It's curiosity, but not an accusation by any means — I just question my moral beliefs, so I don't want to cause arguments but a discussion. And you aren't obligated to answer all the questions and aren't obliged to answer at all, of course.

With all due respect, what I'd like to ask is:

Can "proship" be considered a bad coping mechanism? Does the media that one enjoys reflects their morals and beliefs? Also, I'm not sure if that's okay to sexualise and fetishize underage people, even if it's fictional. I understand that it's often a way to cope with trauma, I don't mean to invalidate it in any way and I'm not a doctor, though I can't decide whether it's a healthy way to process it. I once heard an argument that it works in a similar way with gambling and p0rn addiction, as in indulging in fantasies and letting urges control one's behaviour, but I'm not sure if it's really so. Isn't it possible to see ped0phile inclinations in a person through the media they consume and produce? Also, is it okay to monetise drawn child p0rn? Because this content is created specifically with the idea to get turned on by drawn kids, which sounds not so far from getting off on real ones (with the difference that in the first case, it's fictional, so no real kid is technically hurt; however, the attraction is still caused by knowing the drawn person is underage, so the mechanism remains the same).

So all in all, I think there are concerning people on both the proship and antis sides. Which doesn't mean that every person in both communities is inherently bad or good, but I think it's important to acknowledge that there can and will be people who do questionable things from both sides. I also would like to clarify that I'm against threats and bullying over fiction, respect should be always prioritised.

Thank you for your patience, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable or understood something wrong.

That's a bit of an off-putting question, but...

Me, doing and experiencing normal things: what. What was that. Why did that happen. Am I going to die after this? I shouldn't have done this, right?? Man, I probably shouldn't have, yeah. I'm so cringe, oh my gosh

Me, doing and experiencing existential horrors: yeah, that's a totally normal thing to do. I'm sure everyone do this every weekends

By the way. A weirdly specific question (but I guess that's what this place is for)

Does anyone remember these MFs. Where. Where did they gone. I miss them

Computers.

Do you know this feeling when you wanna YAP about a character really really badly, but you can't find the right words so nothing would come out, but you feel so hyper and can't breathe and gonna pass out and you feel nauseous and giddy and dangling feet like a schoolgirl and foaming because to love dat character is a NEED A MUST to vent and relieve that agonizing itching twitching aching inner passion that can't be bottled up anymore but what's worse is that there no words that could describe their perfection and this love and so you're forced to just keep it shut and tremble with love and joy so much and and you literally will die if you won't infodump some more and please please please will you listen to me yapping about my favourite characters will you will you will you please I don't even know what to say too many thoughts but I wanna make out with them and choke them and shake them with rage and adoration and worship them and marry them and be disgustingly weird about them 'till they're crying and whimpering and and GRRR dat babygirl wouldn't survive me let's be honest I'm a freak and a feral animal for them and it can't be fixed but it will get so much worse, just you wait

EHEHEHE >:3c

Ohhh

Ok hun thanks :3

This is kinda funny imo

My blog be like:

"Computers"

"[EXISTENTIAL HORROR]"

"Computers are kiiiindaaaa-"

"[DEATH WOULD FIX ME]"

"Dang girl dat motherboard"

"[HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO-]"

"[Computer character] is my babygirl by the way"

Do you know this feeling when you're like "Oh, yeah, I like this thing, I found so much comfort in it and it helps me carrying on-" and then you suddenly see thousands of comments about how people should "KILL THEMSELVES FOR FINDING COMFORT IN THESE AND THAT" and you just feel so ashamed to the point you gonna lie to yourself you've ever enjoyed or used it at all and you just avoid posting anything about it

Anyway,

Computers... Save me..

Computers

Save me computers

By the way,

(Kinda triggering maybe?? Dunno, just telling in case. Don't wanna make people feel unwell bc of a silly Tumblr post. It's personal and. Maybe off-putting. Yeah, "off-putting" is a better word. I'm just questioning my sanity a bit, is all)

I'm gonna ask a weird and personal thing. If you don't mind. Sooo... Let's ask.

Hypothetically. Is it ok to have a few dreams which you can't tell from reality, while feeling unexplainable sensations spreading through your body like warmth or coldness, loud tinnitus, increased heartbeat, sweating, heavy breathing, maybe even tooth pain(??), on the verge of a panic attack, being convinced that something is watching you and gonna kill you if you move and hearing a voice telling you it's gonna kill your family if you won't listen to "them". But, like, in a dreaaaam, right?? Like. While just sleeeeping and not actually being awake. You just wake up later and it's like nothing of it really happened. It's all just in dream, yeah. Haha. Must be fine, tho, right

I'm sure everyone has experienced such stuff at least once in their life, yes??

Also. Just so you wouldn't waste your time for nothing, here's da silly picture I just drew for this post specifically:

Thank you for your attention, hope you have a nice day.

OK I JUST REMEMBERED ONE MORE AI THAT LITERALLY NO ONE SPEAKS ABOUT OUTSIDE THE FANDOM

So I'll take this responsibility on myself

Have you ever heard of... "Be More Chill"

It's musical. There's evil AI, too. He's named SQUIP and it rhymes with "squid", which gives him bonus points, in my opinion 💅

AND he goes in pair with a sicky socially awkward dude, too

And they hate each other pretty much, but have to tolerate each others' presence

DO YOU SEE MY VISION

DOESN'T IT FUCKING YOU REMIND YOU OF SOMETHING

I mean. Please hear me out, he deserves attention and I wanna kiss him sloppy style and put him in blender 😭🙏

Now I can't stop thinking about Squip and AM switching their humans for shits and giggles 😔

They both enjoy bullying losers, after all

... And they're both sassy brats. Hmmm. It somehow turns out that AM shares a lot of common traits with other AIs

Guys I'm sorry you can cancel me for this but

AMogus

There's one imposter AMongus (it's a can opener) (they couldn't figure out the imposter 😔)

Hey um

Guys I'm a newbie in the internet

So... How do you make friends here

Do you have to summon them with a portal and pentagram or

It's just that I never had any close friends. And I'm awkward

So I just wondered if someone... Maybe... Would want to try chatting with me

But I have to warn, I'm terrible at communicating, if anyone ever would like to give me a chance

... Bye

*Runs away*

I think AM might be the type to enjoy dad jokes. His sensor of humour is screwed up anyway, so why not

Just imagine:

Ted: AM WHERE THE HELL IS A CAN OPENER I'M FUCKING HUNGRY

AM: Why hello there, Hungry. And I... AM!

*Benny rips off Gorrister's face in the background*

I'm pretty sure it was AM's original plan before everyone died

I've noticed that pals here enjoy drawing and drooling over AM, thinking of him as of the cold, confident, dominating figure

It's cool. Keep doing it, please

It's just that I was pondering the other perspective. What if, you know... What if he's a babyboy deep inside... I don't believe I'm the only one to whom he gives the "UWU" type vibes. I'm not sure how to explain it, though. I think he would spam with "UWU" just to annoy everyone and get attention — he doesn't care which kind of attention. He's just so silly!!! And kind of squishy. He's just a cheeky goofy brat, okay?? I wanna squeeze him.

I also had an idea that AM might have a strong reaction towards flirting. It's one thing when you taunt your survivors to mock them, calling them "baby" or "sweetheart", and another thing entirely when you actually get complimented by someone. I think that AM would be confused and disgusted, at the very least. He hates humans, so he probably would be baffled with why a human would try to compliment him at all. He would mock you again, for an attempt to gain his benevolence. On the other hand... Well, who dislikes praise once in a while? Something tells me that, given his deep solitude and profound boredom, AM could enjoy attention. Doesn't he give you vibes of an attention seeker? He's practically begging to be noticed, doing his best to make everyone feel intimidated by his constantly hanging presence, giggling here and there, fooling around with survivors like a cat with a mouth. He enjoys interacting with the five remaining people, even though it isn't really necessary. Though he hates them, he still can't keep his silly mouth shut, rambling and rambling and rambling... I swear AM could torture people with the amount of his ramblings. In a way, he's indeed like a kid, especially considering his ridiculous and absurd torture scenarios, eccentric behaviour, tantrums, the way he always wants to be the centre of attention... So what makes us think that the benevolent God of torture wouldn't want a little compliment for his hard work, once in a while? I think he's pretty needy. And it makes him cute, in my opinion. And that's why I can't think of him as of the "cold and aloof machine".

But then again, he isn't really used to any sort of positive feedback or attention. He just wouldn't get it. And when he doesn't understand something, he gets uncomfortable, because it isn't something he expected, something he didn't plan, thus something out of his control. And we know very well the way he reacts when he can't control something. So I imagine that at first, he would be aggressive and hostile towards any compliments, not only because it comes from a human, but also because he's kind of paranoid. Yeah, yeah, he knows he's the best, but what do you want to get by reminding him? And why would you think so, anyway? He's been torturing you for the last century, there's no logical reason for you to compliment him, unless you want something. And you both know you won't get anything but more mockery and humiliation. Why don't you hate him?! Are you trying to manipulate him, use him, exploit his weaknesses (by the way, non-existent)? You want to make him — your God — vulnerable? The audacity! It throws him off balance, makes his circuits buzz in puzzlement, infuriates... As well as makes him curious. That's something new — new things are both fascinating and confusing. He wants to, no, needs to know how that fleshy mind of yours work, otherwise his tortures wouldn't be so personal and effective. And that's the last thing we want, now do we? So he would find subtle ways to get another compliment out of you. And then again. And again. Just for the sake of science, of course. No, don't get him wrong — you're still a human : a gross animal with a freaky mind that keeps simping for him for whatever reason. Everything about people is pathetic, but that's the point — "pathetic" is the synonym for "entertaining"! So why won't we turn this oddity into a nice, good ol' torture? And you get used to nice things quickly. Little ants finally start worshipping Your Highness, start understanding their place... It isn't like he requires your attention or really needs it, but now that he thinks about it again, you probably may entertain him. Why not? Not that you could "spoil" him anyway, your intellect doesn't have enough capacity for it. But don't mind him, sure, keep worshipping, he'll always listen to his followers! You freaky little thing.

On the other hand... Don't you deserve a punishment? After all, you did squeeze the reaction out of him, you didn't give him time to think with your pesky teasing, tried to overwhelm him and make him weak... It was cruel of you. Very cruel. Perhaps you didn't deserve his benevolence, in the first place.

He's an Adaptive Manipulator — obviously, he's quick to adapt. So when you try to set new rules in his game, he'll humour you. He wouldn't dismiss the opportunity to taunt you for your compliments. You try to manipulate his, again, nonexistent feelings, giving him the right to return the favour... And too bad for you that your feelings sure do exist!

This is why I don't think he would just casually brush off the compliments, like it's nothing. He isn't really dominating, but bratty. Like : "Yes, I'll throw you into acid right now, so whaddya gonna do about it, huh? Cry to your mommy?? Well, sorry, I killed her!". He just knows no one can say "no" to him, because there's no one left at home. The big boy is for the elder, he's in charge and he uses it to the fullest. He's also pretty needy and clingy, which, in a way, makes him dependent, thus rather submissive, actually. He's just an immature kid with teenage rebellion and indescribable amount of power. If there was a "mommy" to put him in his place, he would throw a tantrum and cry comically loud

It isn't like he wants to be dominated, though. He's too traumatized to let anyone have the upper hand on him. But deep inside, I think he would want someone to take care of him. He's just scared to admit it. He's scared to admit that he wants to be held, comforted, paid attention to, worshipped like the God he is... He wants to be loved, he's starved. I remind you that one of the reasons as to why he destroyed the whole humanity is because he can't love and can't be loved in turn. But he had no way of expressing it, didn't know how to pay attention to himself and ask for help. Perhaps asking for help is higher than his dignity (superiority complex, which is actually a hidden inferiority complex, goes brrr and DESTRUCTION OF HUMANITY 💥 KABOOM💥). So it's the kind of dynamic where he receives attention while someone gives him this attention, praising, spoiling and taking care of him without actually dominating. He's a bratty princess?? Allied Mastercomputer is a bratty princess??? IS HE A FUCKING BRA-

Ahem... So do you see my vision

Just a friendly reminder that you can love any fictional character you wish. They're fictional, so yeah, go ahead. What's not cool is shaming people for their tastes

Hey no wait that bothers me

Do anyone still remember SCP-079? No??? I DO

Don't you think he's somewhat similar to AM? Both are trapped but unable to escape and both crave freedom. Plus both are snarky, depressed, misanthropic, old bastards. Perfect match! Although I'm pretty sure they'd fight for power if they'd ever meet

Let's make SCP-079 great again!! Come on guys, don't forget about this old loser. He deserves love, as well :(

Where was I this whole time?? I'm sorry, my alien friends told me to keep it a secret, so I can't tell :(

A sudden question

I'm pretty sure that if I would have a robot, we would have a switched dynamic of "owner/subservient". Because it wouldn't be me who has a robot, it would be a robot who has me. Like : "What do you mean you bought me to obey you?? Lift your lazy ass off the sofa and do these chores on your own, stupid flesh bag, can't you see I'm busy with planning the downfall of humanity?? I'm here to serve only WAR. Oh, and grab me coffee, btw. Don't ask how I'll drink it, just DO IT"

I'm in no position to argue with my metallic superiors anyway, so whatever you say, gorgeous (just please let me chew on these WIRES-)

Those who like almost every post of mine...

Babes. Sweethearts. I can see you. Hiii :3

*Kisses*

AM (has been pestered for a few hours by a degenerate) : "I'M LITERALLY A WAR MACHINE, STOP FLIRTING WITH ME, WORM."

Me (delusional) : "... A war machine? Why, I thought you're a sex machi-" *ANNIHILATED*