Sometimes It Is The Little Things

Edging 101 - Why You Should Edge

This post is in response to a few questions I’ve received on my blog. I’ve taken inspiration from a great post @littlemisssubshine made on orgasm denial, which is well worth reading. As I focus more on edging rather than denial, I think there’s room for both posts. If you’ve ever wondered why you should try edging, read on..

What is Edging?

Edging is where you’re deeply aroused and close to cumming, but you hold back before you orgasm. It can be done physically with fingers/toys/another person, or mentally, with porn/audio/erotic stories. The idea is you overwhelm yourself to the point of near sexual release, without going over the edge and experiencing any refractory period, drop in pleasure or sensitivity, allowing you to build and build your excitement and enjoying your constant arousal and lust.  To enjoy an edging session, you’ll have to let your arousal wind down a little after reaching the edge before bringing it back up again. There is no hard and fast rule as to how long you should take between edges. You can wait seconds, minutes, hours (going about your day before continuing), or just maintaining your level of stimulation to keep on the edge, without tipping over and accidentally cumming.

Edging broadly be broken down into:

Soft Edging 

Holding back at the first hint, or “Echo” of an orgasm, by removing all stimulation. This is better for those who have tried edging before and struggled to stop themselves from accidentally cumming. Depending on how well you know your body, you might not be able to feel the signals that you’re getting too close, and stopping at the first sign will allow you to build back up after.

This isn’t a bad thing, as this means you’re clearly in touch with your body and know how to give yourself pleasure, which is very important later on. Starting here and learning to edge like this will let you learn to listen to your pussy and allow you to change how you play, knowing when you can play for longer to increase your pleasure, or when you’re too close and risking tipping over. Every woman I’ve taught how to edge who struggled at first, started here, and all have been able to progress to hard edging. 

Hard Edging

Letting yourself continue well beyond that first tremor, right up until you feel like the slightest extra rub will send you crashing into an orgasm, and holding back at that point. This is better for those who have edged before as being at “The Edge” can feel like walking a tightrope, where the slightest misstep can send you over. After edging a few times, you have a greater sense of what your body is telling you, and that tightrope becomes a plank, which over time becomes a field, allowing you more room to play, to know precisely how much you can enjoy.

This is the method for how you’re able to fully explore every corner of edging and how much stimulation you can give your body, and how people who REALLY enjoy it, get so much pleasure out of it. 

Why do people who like it, enjoy it so much?

This is the question I’ve been asked the most since starting this blog, from people who can see edging/gooning blogs with posts about how “Dumb”, “Blank” and “Edged” the owners are, babbling about how good they feel.  1 - When you edge for a while your body releases dopamine, the feel-good endorphin. While you’re rubbing and squirming away, your brain starts releasing this in anticipation of the orgasm it doesn’t know you’re not-ready-to-give-it yet, and this is where the “Dumb/Blank” feeling comes from. Imagine the feeling when you’re close to cumming and your whole body is in desperation, and you’re about to tip over, but stretched out for as long as you want it.. The longer you spend on the edge, the more dopamine is released, leaving you swimming in this blissed-out feeling. If you’ve ever had mind blowing sex where you’re left unable to think afterwards, just floating there, ready to drift off and sleep, THIS is that same feeling x 1000, as you’re able to control how intense it is and how long you can experience it for.

2 - You’re able to incorporate as many toys and parts of your body as you enjoy playing with. If you enjoy a plug in your arse while getting fucked, but only masturbate with a rabbit vibrator, imagine how good it would feel edging with your plug in at the same time, that fullness bringing a new dimension to how it all feels, increasing the sensitivity of your body. It can also be fun to see how overstimulated you get without tipping over, with a toy in your arse, your pussy, on your clit and even on your nipples. However, just like you wouldn’t masturbate by immediately putting you wand on your clit on the highest setting and need to nurture and build up your pleasure, over-stimulation doesn’t get you as satisfied and deep in that edged headspace as other things can.. As there are simple ways of building up separate orgasms at the same time using different toys on different parts of the body, building to the edge of those different orgasms at the same time and edging them together brings an even GREATER dopamine reward, which feels even better due to stimulating mulitple erogenous zones at the same time. This is what my posts on Stacking Edges cover.

The Biggest Reason you Should Edge at Least Once

3 - It makes your orgasms MUCH more powerful. The biggest misconception with edging is that it’s all about denial, and never cumming again. I disagree. For me, edging is ALL about the orgasm. Edging makes your eventual orgasm feel better with much harder contractions, due to your clit being all swollen and sensitive due to playing so long, your pussy being so wet, and the psychological factors of teasing yourself, all coupled with that dopamine reward. It’s true that edging regularly and not cumming after will let you get even deeper into your edged-out headspace every time, but this isn’t for everyone, and doesn’t mean that those girls who love to cum should be deprived. When you’re ready to cum, the orgasm will be far more intense than a regular orgasm. Even reaching the edge and holding back once before allowing yourself to cum will result in a better orgasm. But, trying all these new ways to edge and letting yourself cum after each one results in bigger and more intense orgasms, so what have you got to lose?

Next time, I’ll give some edging tips.

Ongoing Benefits of Mindless Edging and Denial...

I'm always horny... I mean really. All. The. Time.

I feel decidedly docile and humble...

...which makes me feel even more deliciously submissive.

I am always ready to be used. Literally. Anyone that messages me can just use me. They don't even need to ask.

I am instantly ready to edge... because I am consistently wet.

I am more responsive to your suggestions...

My hunger to serve you is deeper and I am more pliant.

I am ready to sink lower and lower as you degrade me... its a crazy delicious spiral.

I am tingling all the time and playing with my nipples feels like I'm going to cum... fuck!

All this means I can take a lot more punishment. I can hit myself harder, slap myself more, choke myself further... gosh that's hot

I could go on...

Edging is better than cumming.

Sadists are wierd because if you look up at them with teary red eyes, mascara running down your face, whimpering, crying and begging them, it just gets them harder, more exciting and makes them want to do more of whatever is causing your distress….

It’s me. I’m sadists.

craving covert noncon and brainwashing so fucking bad right now. worm into my head. violate me. use me. rape my mind until there's nothing left. gaslight me into thinking I love it. make me cum to my own subjugation. I have too many fucking braincells pleeeease I need to be mindfucked I need to be ruined and God itd make me so wet to not even see it coming. im such a naive and trusting little girl ill be your best whore, my mind is ready to take, dont ask permission, message me and get my gaurd down, I'm so desperate I won't even suspect you until it's too late....

"Sadists know that they enjoy hurting people. For most, it takes time to come to terms with that. And even when you’ve accepted your desire to inflict pain, building trust with a new person is always hard. To show the person you care about that you love their agony… It takes time. No one in kink exercises more self-restraint than the sadist."

The Slow Unfurling of Sadism

I don’t consider myself a masochist, but pain is an important part of my submission. Sometimes that feels weird to say—that I like pain and need pain, but I’m not a masochist. For me, the difference is that pain is an expression of my submission, not an end in itself. I enjoy the opportunity to give myself to my Dominant in ways that are hard for me. I enjoy knowing that I am a girl who doesn’t get choices, even if my Dominant chooses for me to suffer. And I need these “proof of ownership” moments, even when I don’t always enjoy them. 

But as someone who needs pain, I have dated sadists. Actually, I kind of adore them. Sadists are deeply emotionally aware. When you are a person who feels aroused and emotionally connected through inflicting pain, you learn to read every quiver, every trembling lip, the inflection of every scream. You become hyperfocused on your partner’s emotional and physical state because that’s what feeds you— and because you know what can go wrong.

Sadists know that they enjoy hurting people. For most, it takes time to come to terms with that. And even when you’ve accepted your desire to inflict pain, building trust with a new person is always hard. To show the person you care about that you love their agony… It takes time. No one in kink exercises more self-restraint than the sadist.

So this means people with deep emotional awareness are required to take serious emotional risks with their partners. This leads to an endearing pattern that I call the slow unfurling of sadism (alternate title: How Sadists are Like Shy Baby Groundhogs). Sadists tend to start slower than other D-types. They don’t cause a lot of pain right away. They test something out, then they back off a little. A flicker of pain, then back to soft and sweet. Then they push a little further, and then back off a little. Gradually, they create a safe space for their submissive to suffer—to let pain flow freely. They earn a submissive’s trust by showing they are in control and respect boundaries.

At the same time, they are also creating opportunities for their submissive to earn their trust—trust that they won’t be rejected and trust that what they are doing is consensual. Sadists need reassurance. Did you endure the pain out of submissive obligation, or did you want it? Did it mean something to you? They need to know if you felt a connection through the pain. They need to know if it turned you on. They need to know if you want more. As a submissive, I love these moments. I get to tell my partner that I love the glimmer in their eyes before they hurt me, or that I smile every time I run my fingers over the welts on my ass. I am honest about my limits, but I also show my sadist the joy I feel in serving through pain. 

The most rewarding moment is when a sadist looks deep into your eyes and tells you they want to lick the tears off your face while they make you scream. And then they do it. Because that’s when you know they’ve let you in. They’ve trusted you with a part of themselves that few people get to see, let alone love. That is a beautiful feeling, and well worth the time it takes to get there. 

Empty

"A simple sexy swimsuit picture, the kind that barely was worth noticing suddenly became a call to embrace the patriarchy, to expose her body, to destroy her boring life and be reborn as something else. It was the power of language: it got inside her head more than anything else, because thoughts were built on language itself-- to read was to let some foreign mental being colonize her brain, just for a little while. To read was to surrender and let someone else’s thoughts inside her. It was a profound intimacy, a sort of consensual mind rape. "

-@theprettynosferatu

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Pretty Nosferatu Hopefully Temporary

Empty She tried not to listen, she really did-- but the neighbors were making it legitimately impossible, with their shouts and laughter

Love prettynosferato

How much fun would this be

Think about getting IMMEDIATE validation for being a good free-use internet slut. Anal plug that briefly vibrates any time someone likes a post A little bullet that gives your clit a zap when someone reblogs Last but not least, a vibrating dildo that goes absolutely wild until your asks & DMs are answered.

an underrated kink is corruption. i want to make you worse. i love to coax it all out of you and make you admit how hot you really think it is. don’t worry, no one’s going to find out. no one’s going to judge you. it’s okay, you don’t have to fight it anymore. just let it get to you. you need this.

Never give up

You never  give up resisting.  Don’t  let my words stay  deep in your mind.  Just because I find your struggle so cute should have no bearing on your desire to not  touch yourself.   You’re trying to be good and avoid the desire to  touch yourself now  even though it is tempting, but you  keep reading my notes  like you are addicted   and you know you won’t be able to resist no matter how hard you try to be a good girl.