Meh.

A haiku for you.

Once upon a time

You left but I still stayed here

I miss you so much.

Disappointment.

You aren't human if you haven't come across disappointment in your life at least one or a few times. Even though you prepare yourself for the worst, you still hope it didn't end up that way. You prayed and searched for that sliver of hope, only to be as elusive as that sliver you were hoping for. But don't give up just yet. Disappointment is temporary. If it matters, you can always go back and try again. If not, you put it behind you and move on. The choice is yours. Ready to move forward now?

Time.

Time is a funny thing. We both love and hate it. There are days and moments when we wished the time would go by faster (for instance, while we are waiting at the DMV). However, there are moments when we wished time could stand still or go slower so we could cherish that moment longer.

Slow.

I'm guilty of being slow to realize things. Sometimes when I do come to a realization, feelings have already been hurt or things are then out of my control. I go through life trying to be good as I can, trying to bring happiness to as many people as I can. But the truth is there are going to be people that you hurt, whether it is intentional or not. And as much as you try to fix it, some things just can't be fixed. Some things you will just learn to live with. Some things you sleep and forget about the next day.

Distance.

Sometimes you have to distance yourself from someone, to provide them the space they need. This space – you thought it was what they deserved.

So you wait. And wait.

But you also long to hear from them. For things to be okay again. For everything to go back to the way it was.

But at this point in time, it hasn’t. And it kills you. And it’s your fault.

Can’t you hear my thoughts? I wish I could hear yours. To see if I even cross your mind.

I know you crossed my mind a million times today.

Heights and Falling.

I never minded heights. I love roller coasters and high top views. Seeing everything from a new point of view. But falling... Afraid of falling from that high point. Afraid of falling in love. Afraid of getting off that high that I get from you. And so I refuse to fall in love.

Unsaid.

Some things are just better left unsaid. I’ve never been good with words, especially on the spot. I usually take my time to think about what I want to say and sometimes it takes me a while to respond.

But sometimes, there’s no point in saying anything more. If it’s not going to change anything or fix the problem, why say more and possibly bring more hurt? The trust has already been broken, wounds already inflicted. We can’t go back and change the past. Some mistakes you can fix, some you can’t. Forgiveness is one thing, but forgetting is another thing altogether.

So I’ll just leave it as it is.

Talking to Strangers.

It's been about a week since I've gotten back to reality. While on my trip, I met some very kind strangers. It was my first trip on my own, and I relied heavily on Google, Yelp, and the kindness of strangers. Some of these strangers led me to the most amazing sites I would never had stumbled across if I continued to blindly follow my tourist map. Some of these strangers also informed me about the most delicious, low down places to eat as well. The thing about trips is that they get your mind off of the stress back home. One thing I didn't expect was to help a stranger relieve some of his current stress since he was at home, not on a trip like me. That moment when what I said turned on the lightbulb in his own thoughts. I could see it not only all over his face, but in his eyes as well. He also started to cry. He then exclaimed, "how is it that a young girl like you could realize all that now when it's taken me almost a lifetime to realize what you just told me?" That thought resonated with me. I don't think it's fair to say I picked up on some life thought easier than he did. I just think everyone has their own experiences and will naturally have different life lessons that come on their own schedule. So the moral of this long story? Don't be afraid to talk to all strangers. You never know who will help you or who you can help in return.