There Is Such A Thing As A Happy Ending.

Gut Feelings.

You should always trust your gut feelings. Know when something is up and is not right. Your gut is a good indicator that something is wrong for you. Your gut is like your mom and she knows best. That pit feeling is a sign that you shouldn't go through with it. So why not listen to it? Why do you keep making the same mistakes? Over and over? When will you ever learn?

Sleep, where art thou?

Look like my insomnia is back tonight. I haven't had bad cases since college, but when I get really stressed I just can't sleep. It's not like I'm even actively thinking about things. Maybe it's just all in my subconscious but it's enough to keep me up. I tend to worry. A lot. I know it's not a good thing, but it's in my nature. Someone used to tell me that I worry too much, but he admired that aspect of me. I never understood why. Why would overthinking and excessive worrying ever be a good thing? Did he not know I have a crazy strict conscience, where things literally eat at me? (True story: I get stress ulcers when I stress.) So whenever something doesn't go the way I planned or I'm anxious about something, my head and body goes into worry mode. To anyone reading this: don't be like me! Don't stress over the little things. Everything happens for a reason. If things don't go the way you wanted, just give it time. Maybe it will go your way after all. Just don't give up. Don't lose faith. With that said, I'm working on following my own advice. Everything will be okay!

Why, hello there!

My first post! Hmm, what to say? 

I got nothing... Just hello! Nice to meet you! Whoever that’s reading this, that is. 

Late Night Thoughts.

Insomnia strikes again. I used to have really bad insomnia in college. But after working two jobs and going to school, I wore myself out so much that I was thankful to go to bed. But it seems like my insomnia has returned. Maybe it's the coffee I had hours ago. Or maybe I just have too many thoughts in my head. Today, I thought about how fast this year has gone by. Looking back at this same day last year, things have changed so much. Last year, I was headed on the trip of a lifetime. I was on a mission trip out of the country and it was the most inspirational and amazing thing I have done thus far. Never would I have thought I would be able to last that long overseas and in those conditions I had to go through. But that was nothing. It was nothing compared to all that I saw, the things I was able to experience, the people I had met. Besides the things overseas, things at home were also completely different. Family and friends were all well, relationships with everyone were good. This year, things are a bit strained and it really bothers me that I can't fix it. Maybe it's because I lacked the courage that I had so much of last year. Or maybe it's how it's supposed to be for now. Maybe this is a lesson in life. Or maybe I should just roll to the other side of the bed and count sheep.

Thankful.

Today I woke up. I woke up in a warm bed, had a warm shower, had a delicious cup of coffee, had a good car help me get to work. All those might not seem luxurious, but it might be considered a luxury to some others out there. It's a blessing to wake up breathing and living healthy. It's a blessing to know that you have a full day ahead of you, and that it's not your last. It's a blessing to have a job to go to, to have an income. It's a blessing to anticipate the next day. So even though the day may have been hard, it's only a few hours away from tomorrow. If tomorrow isn't great either, then hey, there's always the weekend!

Falling Apart.

And this is how they fell apart... Lack of words, lack of communication.... Too much confusion, too much misunderstanding... Too late to turn back...

Lost.

Sometimes, I can't help but feel lost. What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? Heck, I even get literally lost with directions all the time. Life is all about changes. How you respond and adapt to those changes shows you what kind of person you are. Or so I've been told. I think a person is made up of many strengths and weaknesses, and all of them define each and every one of us beautifully. So regardless of what we determine as "success" in life, I think as long as we are happy with who we are, who cares where we are going, or what we'll be doing next. Let's just take things slowly, day by day. Living in the moment.

Time.

Time is a funny thing. It could mean everything. Or it could mean nothing.

Thousands of Times.

I think you’ve crossed my minds thousands of times today. I won’t say millions because I try my best not to think of you. It’s like my security blanket got ripped away. From spending all day talking with you, knowing everything about you, what you’re doing, what you’re feeling... to nothing.

I guess we’re strangers now.

All that’s left is just a feeling of loneliness.

Of extreme sadness.

Who do I turn to now?

Talking to Strangers.

It's been about a week since I've gotten back to reality. While on my trip, I met some very kind strangers. It was my first trip on my own, and I relied heavily on Google, Yelp, and the kindness of strangers. Some of these strangers led me to the most amazing sites I would never had stumbled across if I continued to blindly follow my tourist map. Some of these strangers also informed me about the most delicious, low down places to eat as well. The thing about trips is that they get your mind off of the stress back home. One thing I didn't expect was to help a stranger relieve some of his current stress since he was at home, not on a trip like me. That moment when what I said turned on the lightbulb in his own thoughts. I could see it not only all over his face, but in his eyes as well. He also started to cry. He then exclaimed, "how is it that a young girl like you could realize all that now when it's taken me almost a lifetime to realize what you just told me?" That thought resonated with me. I don't think it's fair to say I picked up on some life thought easier than he did. I just think everyone has their own experiences and will naturally have different life lessons that come on their own schedule. So the moral of this long story? Don't be afraid to talk to all strangers. You never know who will help you or who you can help in return.