Expectations.

There is such a thing as a happy ending.

No, not the Cinderella gets with the Prince type of happy ending. Not the bad guys get caught and the protagonist triumphs type of happy ending either. Sometimes, a happy ending simply just means coming to peace with what the conclusion came out to be. It may not be the ending you wished for, but as long as you have a will, and there are days ahead, you can make that ending however you want to make it. So you didn't get into your school of choice. So you didn't win the design project. So the boy you waited for didn't wait for you. It's all going to be okay. How do I know? I don't. But I trust in myself and I have faith in my future.

http://iglovequotes.net/

A haiku for you.

Once upon a time

You left but I still stayed here

I miss you so much.

Patience.

Patience was never a virtue I thought I had. I mean sure, I have enough patience to wait for my Amazon package to arrive or the will power to not open a Christmas present early. But waiting for things to change, for things to change in my current life’s state, is difficult.

Waiting for that kind of change is so hard. You work towards the change to the best of your ability, but there is no end date or estimated time of arrival. With Amazon packages, you have tracking notifications. With Christmas presents, you know it occurs on the same day every year. But with life, no one knows. The only think I know is I’m still trying and I’m trying to make progress.

But how far I’m getting, how much closer I am, I wish I knew.

Unsaid.

Some things are just better left unsaid. I’ve never been good with words, especially on the spot. I usually take my time to think about what I want to say and sometimes it takes me a while to respond.

But sometimes, there’s no point in saying anything more. If it’s not going to change anything or fix the problem, why say more and possibly bring more hurt? The trust has already been broken, wounds already inflicted. We can’t go back and change the past. Some mistakes you can fix, some you can’t. Forgiveness is one thing, but forgetting is another thing altogether.

So I’ll just leave it as it is.

Why, hello there!

My first post! Hmm, what to say? 

I got nothing... Just hello! Nice to meet you! Whoever that’s reading this, that is. 

Being strong.

Always putting on a front.

Staying busy.

Keeping my mind occupied.

With anything.

To avoid thoughts of you.

To avoid thoughts of the past.

What’s done is done.

It is what it is.

So why can’t I move on already?

Silence.

Who knew silence could be so deafening? I’ve never been great at reading between the lines, but I can take a hint. But dare I do anything about it until it’s confirmed and stated loud and clear? Never.

Sometimes silence is very much appreciated. While anxiously waiting, you reflect on your actions. However, you sometimes stress yourself out trying to figure out what is going on on the other end and your mind races through the multiple possibilities that could result after the silence. 

So in the end, what do I do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing but sit and wait. 

Nostalgic.

Today was meant to be a happy day - a day that symbolized me getting back on my feet after a struggling emotionally and physically these past few years. I was so excited about today that I couldn’t fall asleep. With my busy lifestyle, not immediately falling asleep as soon as I lay down in bed is an indicator that something is up. 

But today finally came. I officially started a new chapter in my life. However, it also made me reminisce on the past. The lifestyle I had, the friends I kept close... So much has changed. Nothing particularly bad had happened, just time. Time changes everything. Everyone has their own lives to live, their own paths to follow. And sometimes, it just means our paths don’t cross anymore, and we are meant to go about that path alone now. Or at least until we come across an opportunity to make new friends.

But still, I’m missing some of my good friends today. We all still talk, but it isn’t the same. To my friends: I miss each and every one of you, and I hope you’re all doing well. I hope we all get a chance to reconnect soon.