Steve: Bucky...

That mission took way too long.

Sincee multiverse is now canon AA! Steve coming and just decking MCU Steve is now a very (un)likely possibility

AA!Steve won’t ever deck anyone. He’d make MCU Steve sit through a 55-slide PowerPoint presentation explaining why he needs to get his shit together and ask Tony out already (he faked his death obviously, this is now canon because I said so).

616!Steve is going to chew into MCU Steve for abandoning his duty to protect the world by going off to play house in the past. His slight head shake, as his eyes dig directly into the other man’s soul, makes MCU Steve feel appropriately guilty.

Ults Steve will just be like, “If you aren’t tapping that ass, then move over, because I sure as hell am gonna 🗡.”

Earth 3490 Steve just gives MCU Steve a look of pure disgust for squandering away so many chances. He personally carries a very confused, but flattered, MCU Tony bridal style to bed and tucks him in, muttering angrily (and without a sense of irony) about stubborn blonds with huge sticks up their butts.

1872 Steve basically waves his pistol at everyone and says, “I’ve only had this Stark for a day and a half. If anything happens to him, I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

EMH Steve is just terrified af when he sees MCU Tony because “He is smaller than my Tony, I didn’t think that was possible. What the hell Rogers, why haven’t you been covering his six all this while?!?!”

Meanwhile MCU Steve’s like, “You guys don’t understand. I’ve been trying to ask him out for six years but he’s thicker than a bed of rocks. He thinks my gestures are threats and hasn’t stopped being a cantankerous idiot for two seconds to realise I’ve been asking him to dinner almost every weekend since we met on Nick Fury’s helicarrier!”

Steve: will you vibe with each other and be homies ur whole life

Sam: bet

Bucky: bet

Steve: i now declare u bro and dude you may now hit the juul

Steve: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Bucky, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Keep your pets safe.

Happy New Year to my followers and their lil pets who celebrate it, if not happy holidays. Stay safe!

Avengers 4: It's just been a really shitty day...

Avengers: Oh no:( hope you feel better

Howard: Was I a bad father, Tom?

Tony:

Tony: My name is Tony.

Sheridan: How can you choose a Moroi over the Alchemists?

Sydney: Unlike the Alchemists, Adrian fucks me in a way I can really enjoy.

reki and langa, age 17: i love you so much, i want to be with you forever, let’s skateboard together infinitely

cherry and joe, age 20-30-whatever-the-fuck: ......... u are.. stupid and... i don’t like u..... *aggressively pines*

Naruto *to Sasuke*: Girls like mystery, you know?

...

Sakura: So where are we going tonight?

Sasuke: None of your fucking business