Naruto *to Sasuke*: Girls Like Mystery, You Know?

I can't believe the girl who fell in love with her instructor during self-defence classes is laughing at Adrian for quitting self-defence class because touching Sydney was too much 🤣

"You should've just gone for it. It's a turn on. Hot men who can fight."

"So you think I'm hot?"

"No. I think you're an ogre. I'm saying Sydney might think it's hot if you-"

"I really don't need to hear what you and Siberia Boy do in the bedroom. Sydney Sage is more complex than that. It takes more than a simple surprise attack to get her to feel-"

"And yet all it took was her like...holding you and you had to quit."

"I never said I was complex. Keep up."

happy esposeaster! @chrisevanzs

​insp.

100 REASONS NOT TO KILL YOURSELF

1. We would miss you. Seriously your blog is a part of my daily life I will miss you.

2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you.

3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better I promise I speak from experience. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow.

4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing.

5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there.

6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.

7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.

8. You are amazing.

9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better. It did for me and it will for you.

10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead.

11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive.

12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die.

13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about.

14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me.

15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born.

16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died? NO… Seriously NO

17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect.

18. Think about your favorite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again.

19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day.

20. Listening to incredibly loud music

21. Being alive is just really good.

22. Not being alive really sucks.

23. Finding your soulmate.

24. Red pandas (I know google it! Amazing)

25. Going to diners at three in the morning.

26. Really soft pillows.

27. Eating pizza.

28. Proving people wrong with your success.

29. Having the jerks who doubted you see you succeed at life.

30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can. Picture it

31. Being able to help other people.

32. Bonfires and drum circles.

33. Sitting on rooftops.

34. Seeing every single country in the world.

35. Going on road trips.

36. You might win the lottery someday.

37. Listening to music on a record player.

38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

39. Taking really cool pictures.

40. Literally meeting thousands of new people.

41. Hearing crazy stories.

42. Telling crazy stories.

43. Eating ice cream on a hot day.

44. Eating ice cream on a cold day.

45. Traveling to another planet someday.

46. Having an underwater house.

47. Randomly running into your hero on the street.

48. Buying your dream home

49. Trampolines.

50. Think about your favorite movie, you’ll never watch it again.

51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke.

52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more.

53. People do care.

54. Tree houses

55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a tree house

55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees.

56. I don’t even know you and I love you.

57. I don’t even know you and I care about you.

58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness!

59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor.

60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS!

61. Coffee

62. Hugs.

63. Stargazing.

64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.

65. You’ve changed somebody’s life.

66. Now you could change the world.

67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you.

68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you.

69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life.

70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things.

71. Making snow angels.

72. Making snowmen.

73. Snowball fights.

74. Life is what you make of it.

75. Everybody has a talent.

76. Laughing until you cry.

77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy.

78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist.

79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down.

80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive.

81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero.

82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.

83. One day your smile will be real.

84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day. Or anytime you like.

85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds.

86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends.

87. Eating crazy food.

88. Staying up all night watching your favorite films.

89. Sleeping in all day.

90. Creating something you’re proud of.

91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit.

92. Being able to meet your Internet friends.

93. Hot Chocolate

94. You will never know what Barney Stensons Job is. #how i met your mother.

95. Cuddling under the stars.

96. Being stupid in public because you just can.

97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile? I’m smiling at the thought that you’re alive.

98. being able to hug that one person you haven’t seen in years

99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this.

100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen.

IF that isn’t enough:

Depression Hotline:1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline:1-800-784-8433

Life Line:1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project:1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support:1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline:1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault:1-800-656-4673

Grief Support:1-650-321-5272

Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale:After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse:1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem):08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem):08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information):0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice):0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk

b-eat eating disorder support:0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders):08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care:08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk

Frank (information and advice on drugs):0800776600

Drinkline:0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales:0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk

Rape Crisis Scotland:08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight India Self Harm Hotline:00 08001006614

India Suicide Helpline:022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada):1-800-668-6868,

Free and available 24/7 suicide hotlines around the world:

Argentina:54-0223-493-0430 Australia:13-11-14 Austria:01-713-3374 Barbados:429-9999 Belgium:106 Botswana:391-1270 Brazil:21-233-9191 China:852-2382-0000 (Hong Kong:2389-2222) Costa Rica:606-253-5439 Croatia:01-4833-888 Cyprus:357-77-77-72-67 Czech Republic:222-580-697, 476-701-908 Denmark:70-201-201 Egypt:762-1602 Estonia:6-558-088 Finland:040-5032199 France:01-45-39-4000 Germany:0800-181-0721 Greece:1018 Guatemala:502-234-1239 Holland:0900-0767 Honduras:504-237-3623 Hungary:06-80-820-111 Iceland:44-0-8457-90-90-90 Israel:09-8892333 Italy:06-705-4444 Japan:3-5286-9090 Latvia:6722-2922, 2772-2292 Malaysia:03-756-8144 (Singapore:1-800-221-4444) Mexico:525-510-2550 Netherlands:0900-0767 New Zealand:4-473-9739 New Guinea:675-326-0011 Nicaragua:505-268-6171 Norway:47-815-33-300 Philippines:02-896-9191 Poland:52-70-000 Portugal:239-72-10-10 Russia:8-20-222-82-10 Spain:91-459-00-50 South Africa:0861-322-322 South Korea:2-715-8600 Sweden:031-711-2400 Switzerland:143 Taiwan:0800-788-995 Thailand:02-249-9977 Trinidad and Tobago:868-645-2800 Ukraine:0487-327715

DID I MENTION YOU’RE AMAZING!

i think im getting better! :) [another event occurs]

What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

 sunscreen

 a travel alarm clock or watch

 mylar emergency blanket

 a backpack is a must

 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

 sleeping bag

 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

 swiss army knife

 can opener

*at an awards show* Naruto: Can I carry you on my back like Kakashi did? Sakura: I don't think Sasuke would like that. Naruto: *pouts* *Later* Naruto: *carrying Sakura on their back* Sasuke: What the hell?? Sakura: What was I supposed to do? Say no?

what the fuck is bandersnatch. what the fuck is bird box. i am watching fantastic four rise of the silver surfer

Adrian saw how much Rose loved her Russian himbo damsel who needed constant saving and thought to himself, I know, I'll make Sydney realise she loves me by being a useless himbo and act like I need saving from my own driving skills

"You bought a car you can't drive?!"

"Oh, no. I can drive it."

"So...you're gonna drive her around in it? I mean, it could work. She was practically salivating in Russia over-"

"Don't talk about her like that."

Rose blinking. "Over the car, Adrian."

"Right. But no, I'm going to get her to teach ne how to drive it."

"I'm lost."

"She can't resist a sexy car. Especially if I'm in it. And teaching someone something? I've checked all the nerd boxes. This is my best idea yet."

*********

Tbh I think my favourite moment between the Chaotic Duo may just be when Adrian quits self defence. When Rose finds out, the phone goes silent. Rose is laughing so hard that she's wheezing. Laughing so hard that she's silent, tears running down her face and body shaking. When she finally catches her breath, Adrian hears wheezing into the phone. "You-had- to-"

"Shut up."

"Because if she- touched you-"

"It's not funny."

"SIMP."