Good Morning To Everyone But Wen Chao. He Can Get His From The Xuanwu Tortoise.

There are two types of people:

Type A: Life is a mess but every app on the phone is categorized into neat folders and knows exactly which folder to navigate to for an app.

Type B: Got life figured out but the phone is an unholy mess waiting to erupt like a dormant volcano. Knows where to find stuff, but anyone else trying to navigate is just heading towards a level 7 migraine.

I’m still the same asshole I was 10 years ago, I’ve just got bills to pay now.

I run on sex, sleep, chocolate and anger and if that isn’t wholesome I don’t know what is.

Remember that time in 2012 when we all thought the world was going to end and did some unredeemable embarrassing shit to celebrate the end of times?

Yeah. Same.

Me: I don’t have any seemingly recognizable human emotions that you could pin me under. I’m impenetrable and indecipherable. The ultimate warrior archetype.

Also me: listens to 6lack at 2am imagining a bad breakup and craving a booty call to supress these sudden feelings.

Huh.

Watching the GameStop meltdown brought out the economics nerd in me that I lost in high school right around when microbiology seemed like the coolest shit around.

Watch me explain how a Reddit forum is saving the economy but also possibly shutting it down. Don’t get me wrong, the bubble will burst at some point soon, I just hope it swings the pendulum against the hedgefucks.

My favourite part about this entire thing is the public realization that Wall Street isn’t as rational or analytical as people thought, there isn’t really a lot of brainpower going into this as they want you to think. It was, is and has always been a dick-measuring contest among those who have money to throw around. If those are the rules, then let everyone play.

If they keep holding, this would be big for retail investors. But also for brokerage firms as the next wave of experimental, hungry and driven individual investors might not be so kind.

Power to the people. Make them bleed green.

Being a hypocrite is really tiring, pretending to care takes a toll on a person.

Wei WuXian:

*Looks for LAN ZHAN all the time in the first life*

*Always chasing after LWJ in the first life*

*Got branded for a dude*

*Always saving and helping LWJ in the first life*

*Seeks him out even after death and reincarnation*

*Constantly giving him ‘eye-fucking invitations’*

I mean he lusts after him worse than any straight couple flirting I’ve seen...it’s a wonder he didn’t make LWJ’s block list.

And LWJ suffers through all of this and more, ever so patient and generous.

I bet if he had a phone, LWJ would be his emergency contact which would of course make JC extra mad.

Even the gods went, you’re not a villainous soul but please go find your man, he’s pining too hard on earth.

Meanwhile, the Untamed:

Two bro’s chilling in a bath tub five feet apart because they’re what? Not Fuckin’ Gay.

My sister just tried to screenshot her favorite kpop star cutout onto a background screen for a game on Twitter for no reason and ended up dialing emergency services.

Consequences.

Did a little soul searching...I am in fact, a narcissistic little shit with no concern for consequences but if someone mentions a cat I will build a shelter with my bare hands and protect it from the elements.