Ed But Not Ed Sheeran - Blog Posts

Anyone wanna do a two week fast with me. (。·́︿·̀。)

Its been so long since ive posted but starving get easier as soon as you actually starve

Type shit

I would rather be on tmblr and get no likes than on anywhere else and get no likes

Dieting makes me feel like theres nothing to do

Intro

Gigi. ・.

.・.She/her・.・bi.・.・・.・.black.・.

.・.Not new to edtwt but am new to edblr.・.

.・.Cw.108lbs.・.gw 85.・.ugw63.2.・.

Basic dni! Sh, racist, weirdo

. ・.・.・.・.・.・.ℒℴѵℯ*¨*• ♡

(っ˘ڡ˘ς) 

like or repost to be moots!!

i’m starting to lose weight! i finally feel valid on here! it’s not a lot but i’ve lost 5 lbs in the past month. i only just started restricting and fasting recently so i’m making slow progress, and seeing the weight loss is so motivating

"How are you never hungry?!"

Babe, you do know I have a literal ED right?

Perhaps it shouldn't, but it does.

It pisses me off when people, especially those close to you, are aware of certain things. That you were nearly sent to a centre for an ED, one that you've had for seven years. One which causes a fistfight to occur in your brain everyday of your life. They know these things, and yet, they don't understand that their words hurt. Because the second you (how dare you) pick up weight, all of a sudden its their goal in life to make it known that you have.

As someone who has grown up with an underactive thyroid, developing an ED is not uncommon. It is 10x more difficult to lose weight, and often this is just the outcome. And as soon as you hit your goal, something could happen that throws your whole body out of whack - for me, it was a new job. The stress causes hormones to go crazy, and in turn, thyroid levels to go down; drastically. And this leads to weight gain - unintentional and uncontrollable weight gain. And yet, those who know the story, still feel the need to rub it in - that something happened that was out of my control. That my body itself, hates me as much as I hate it.

When you need to work from home and still live with your parents.

And all of your safe foods are at work, and you just sit there with raging thoughts of “What am I going to eat? Shit. If I don’t have something small and low calorie then I’m going to binge, and if I eat anything in this house I’m going to binge, and if I -“

Me: “I’m hungry”

Also me: *grabs vodka and joint instead*

Funny thing is.

I don’t even know who reads these posts.

But somehow, I trust yall more than I trust the people I know best in my life.

Funny.

How bpd and ED brings people together …

You know what I wish?

I wish I could speak to someone who understands what it’s like having an ACTAUL ED. Not just “oh my god I didn’t eat breakfast I’m so anorexic” haha. Fuck you.

I wish I could speak to someone who understands having to be a mother to your own mother.

I wish I could speak to someone who understands what it’s like to not know yourself because you’re always looking out for someone else.

Because you are always having to be the person who is there for everyone; the person that no one is there for.

The therapist.

The one who swallows their pride because how dare they have an opinion.

How dare they have feelings.

How dare they be a person.

How dare they be a person and not a therapist.

Drinking coke zero gives the impression of you eating junk food, because everyone thinks about “coke” but not the zero🩷

Do not eat.

I need to lose 6 points on the IBM chart, or I won’t be responsible for anything I do anymore.

Went to Zara thinking I lost quite a bit of weight and that I went down a size, but then I bought clothes sizing L.

What a crazy person I am huh.

I actually found the strength to shop groceries without getting any of my binge foods (by will and following universe signals too).

I’m really proud right now.

I’m making November my month.

It started on Friday but who cares? Why waiting for Mondays to start doing what you truly care about?

The jealousy I’m feeling right now is borderline morbid: a friend of mine told me that she’s constantly yo-yo’ing between 41 kg and 46 kg.

WOMAN PLEASE YOU ARE LIVING MY DREAM LIFE AND YOUR REALLY HEALTHY TOO??

Jealous.

I’ve been fed forcefully.

I feel violated.

The day, the music

Died💔.

Well, in the end my roommate forced me to eat and I honestly want to cry.

Life is good🎀

No one’s forcing me to eat, I’ve been relaxing and my stomach doesn’t hurt anymore; I think it was the sight of food to make me feel sick honestly, and if I ate it I just had to p since I felt REALLY sick.

Back on track, let’s see if I manage to hit my <60 this weekend🩷

Sushi and McDonalds?

Not very 🎀th1nspo angel🎀 of me.

I’m so going to the gym this afternoon.

C/S-ing is so disgusting but so useful, like???

Tasting my favorite food without getting c41 in? Yes please!

Just came back from a weekend at my parents’ house. Do you know what this means?

Time to challenge myself with a 4 days fast!

I’m still not seeing or feeling differences, but people around me do and apparently their favorite thing to do now while hugging me is caressing my ribs.

6 kg down, let’s go!

Just did my nails, now i can’t b/p. Life is going great.

I’ve been hungry since the day I was born.

I’ve been hungry and hungry and hungry and hungry and hungry and hungry and hungry.

I am hungry. I spend my life going around places, foaming at the mouth like a starving hyena.

All it’s left to do at the end of the day is staring at my body in the mirror and wondering when will this end.

Hey, I’m currently searching for low-c4! oats recipes! Does anyone have suggestions or preferences? Possibly with c4! count and ingredients quantities 🩷

Lots of love to everyone 🩷🎀