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5 Reasons Highly Sensitive People Struggle With Loneliness
June 26, 2019
For the past month, I have debated on whether or not to post about loneliness as it can involve various factors or perspectives. I would also love to elaborate on this topic in my next article post as I am exploring ways to dissolve my own feelings of loneliness.
As humans, we are wired to connect with others and I believe it is an important need to be addressed. Without healthy connections, people usually try to meet these needs in a variety of unhealthy (self destructive) ways.
Although most people experience loneliness at some point in their lives, this feeling seems to come with the territory of being a highly sensitive person (HSP) on a chronic level.
Why Do We Feel Lonely?
The following list includes five common reasons HSPs may struggle with loneliness...
1. Self Isolation
Most highly sensitive people require plenty of alone time to process things (especially introverts). Although solitude is needed to recharge and protect our sensitivity, we can easily take our alone time too far without realizing it. Too much solitude can lead to self isolation. Experiencing overwhelming emotions may also lead to isolation.
2. Feeling Misunderstood/ Invalidated
Feeling misunderstood also seems to come with the territory of being an HSP. I believe one reason is that many of us want to be true to ourselves and express ourselves authentically in a society that encourages the opposite.
As HSPs, we tend to experience our emotions intensely and process things deeply. It can be difficult to express ourselves in ways non HSPs may understand and (often is misunderstood) as a result, many HSPs may feel invalidated. The HSP may have difficulty finding people that understand or validate their feelings or ideas.
3. Fear of Rejection/ Criticism
Along with feeling misunderstood, HSPs are prone to fearing rejection. Many of us struggle with social anxiety and may feel inadequate.
I believe that many people don't realize that HSPs tend to be highly self conscious and can be hard enough on themselves. The added pressure from other's criticism can simply be too much to process for an HSP. This can lead to withdrawal and loneliness.
4. Vibes
Hsps are often intuitive empaths that can pick up the energy from the environment or other's. We can also easily pick up on social cues, expressions, intentions or the underlying motives of other's.
HSPs may also feel super uncomfortable around "fake" people and want to avoid surface level friendships in general. HSPs tend to prefer deep and meaningful connections and conversations and may avoid certain people or situations if an uncomfortable vibe or feeling arises.
5. Rumination
Highly Sensitive people are known for having abundant inner worlds and a natural talent for creativity (which is amazing)! Unfortunately, this trait can also make HSPs more prone to rumination (overthinking/feeling about situations).
Rumination can also be linked to anxiety, depression, trauma, various forms of addictions (All can be isolating experiences).
The heightened state of anxiety associated with rumination may lead to a fight or flight reaction causing an HSP to either avoid social situations or negatively react. This can lead to more feelings of isolation, invalidation, and avoidance.
You Are Not Alone!
If anyone can relate to this article, please know that you are not alone in this world and your feelings are valid! There are others (including myself) that can relate and care!
I plan on writing more about this topic and my journey to dissolving my chronic loneliness.
If you can relate to this post or need to reach out, feel free to share in the comments! Thankyou very much for your support!
With Love,
Dahlia
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Ethereal Rose...
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10 Ways for Highly Sensitive People To Create New Habits That Stick
May 6, 2019
In my last article, I mentioned the importance of consistency when it comes to practicing new behaviors to cope with emotional overwhelm. (The topic of the post).
In this post, I would like to build upon the topic by sharing some ways I have learned to integrate new behaviors or habits in such a way that improves my persistence. As I have learned over time, persistence is key!
Because I have always struggled with persistence and sticking to rigid routines and mundane tasks, I have had to strive for persistence in a number of ways. I have had to learn about the importance of implementing routines (particularly for HSPs) into a daily schedule.
Implementing daily habits and routines for HSPs can be a necessary component to achieving a sense of security and balance in an overwhelming world.
Building routines can be a great way for HSPs to seek comfort and a gain a sense of knowing what to expect in a world where unexpected things happen. It can also help HSPs maintain greater focus on personal goals/dreams when there are multiple distractions arising from multiple sources. I have learned that it can also help avoid procrastination, which can lead to regret and even more feelings overwhelm.
While routines can be an excellent tool to simplify one's life, I know many highly sensitive people can find change overwhelming. I know from experience that trying to change too many things at once can be overwhelming and be an obstacle to reaching goals. That is one reason I believe starting with small goals and gradually building up to larger goals is more beneficial.
It is important to know that creating new habits can take time and patience. The time it takes to build new habits can depend on the person, the habit, commitment to the habit, and other lifestyle factors. Many people believe it takes approximately one month to create a habit. Others believe it takes more or less time to reach their goals.
It has taken me various amounts of time and effort to create some of my current habits/routines, but I would like to share with you some helpful ways I have gradually created new routines/habits into my schedule. So far, it has helped improve the quality of my life and is helping me reach my goals at a more comfortable pace!
10 Ways to Build New Habits/Routines
1. Determine What You Truly Value and Intend to Create for Your Life
Knowing exactly what you want to achieve and prioritize can help give you a sense of where to start and simplify your goals. Writing down your intentions/goals can help you get more clear about your goals. It may include both long term and short term goals.
2. Start With Small Achievable Goals
This may include starting with one or two simple goals that are realistic and easy to achieve. These goals can be modified over time accordingly. The more the habits are practiced, the more likely it is to continue building upon the smaller goals. i.e. walking 10 minutes a day and gradually increasing the habit over time.
3. Combining a New Habit With Existing Habits
I find that tying new habits/routines to an existing routine is one of the best ways to not only get motivated, but can help with persistance. It is also a real time saver! For example, I started doing 10 jumping jacks after I brush my teeth each day. Over time I not only increased the amount of jumping jacks, but the amount I brush my teeth as well.
4. Using the Cue/Behavior/ Reward Technique
Everyone is different and may prefer different variations of this technique but the concept is the same. There are many sources online that further explain this concept. An example of this concept would be when I could barely get out of bed (let alone) take weekly classes, I chose to buy my favorite coffee drink (reward). The behavior or routine was getting out of bed and going to school. The cue was my alarm going off and the school day being on the schedule. Thankfully, I can attend class regularly without having to buy coffee every time but it did make a difference! Seeking out motivation and inspiration also helps facilitate the practice of a new habit. i.e. music, inspiring speeches etc...
5. Connections and Accountability
As I mentioned in my previous article, being accountable can help increase the chance of completing a task or goal. One way to be accountable is joining a community of people with similar objectives or goals. This can be helpful with motivation and create connections with others. i.e. Joining a fitness community online or in person.
6. Reminders
Having reminders such as visuals, auditory, written, or verbal reminders can be great ways to stay on track. i.e. leaving sticky notes around or using timers to complete tasks and stay on track.
7. Letting Go of Perfectionism
This includes not comparing yourself to others, letting go of "black and white" thinking, and expecting instant results. It's about knowing you may not do it all perfectly but you also don't give up on achieving your goals. I also find that having patience with yourself and the process and accepting that it is not going to be perfect can help with persistency.
8. Track your Progress and Celebrate the Milestones
Tracking your progress can help you see how far you've come to reach your goal. Rewarding yourself for your progress can help reinforce the new routine or habit you want to obtain. Some people use habit trackers or draw chains to keep track of progress. I also find that writing or talking about the progress can be another useful way to keep track of goals.
9.Environment
Similar to a growing plant, the right conditions to grow a new habit can impact the growth process of habit development. It's easier to focus on a goal or task in a comfortable environment. Also, being in a new environment provides new cues to start a new habit. It is about what works for you!
10. Replace a Negative Habit With a New Positive Habit
Much of our behavior is truly based on habits. This includes both positive and negative habits. I believe most people have at least one habit they know is not benefiting them and wish they could quit repeating it. Getting rid of negative habits can be difficult because the mind connects it with some kind of reward. The process of changing the behavior may also include setbacks, time, and may not occur in a linear fashion. There are also triggers or cues in the mind's connections that can trigger the behavior or habit. An example of replacing the negative habit is knowing your triggers or cues for the negative habit and replacing it with a new behavior. i.e. Drinking flavored sparkling water when having the urge to drink soda or alcohol. In this way, new connections can be made and the new habit can be developed over time.
Although most HSPs can be easily overwhelmed when faced with change , incorporating a degree of new healthy routines or replacing negative habits with positive ones can be beneficial. The tips in this article are ten of the ways I have worked toward developing new habits. Hopefully it will help someone achieve their goals and dreams! Feel free to let me know in the comments what works for you!
With Love,
Dahlia
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Heath Ledger was not only an amazing actor but was considered to be a highly sensitive person.
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10 Tips For Coping With Emotional Overwhelm as a Highly Sensitive Person
April 2, 2019
For the past five months (after the sudden loss of my partner), I have experienced an intense state of grief. Due to a variety of factors, I have actually been experiencing what is considered to be complicated grief as an already highly sensitive person (HSP).
This profound grief has been the most difficult and painful challenge of my life. Since my sensitivity is at an all time high, this experience has felt beyond the usual state of overwhelm I have been accustomed to.
At first, the grief and emotional overwhelm was debilitating. I was barely getting out of bed and basically losing my will to live even though I was not planning to die. I would go days without sleeping and was in shock. This may be a normal reaction to grief. However, experiencing this as an HSP can feel like the worst form of torture, especially being a highly romantic /sensitive soul. I knew I was desperate to seek peace and willing to do what it took to get out of my emotional rut. I knew that i couldn't keep living like that and I needed to heal and find coping strategies to gradually start living my life again.
Over the years, I have learned about a variety of healing methods and coping strategies. I have noticed incredible results from implimenting new coping tools, but my lack of consistency has often blocked my capacity to thrive.
The healing process has been gradual and I am still in the process of navigating my grief. However, I have found that implementing certain coping tools consistently has been an important factor in managing my emotions.
The following tips include some of the coping strategies I have used to aid in my healing process and manage my emotions more effectively...
1. Calming Activities
I know it is common knowledge to engage in calming activities when feeling overwhelmed, but I have noticed the difference when not practiced regularly. During my recovery, I have found it beneficial to regularly do activities such as deep breathing exercises, prayer, meditation, receiving massage work (can help release energy blocks and can promote relaxation).
2. Mindfulness/ Awareness
Because a vast amount of stimuli (both external and internal) can overstimulate an HSPs highly sensitive nervous system, HSPs can easily feel stuck in the mind/feelings and not present in the body and moment. I have noticed that consistent mindfulness practices and body awareness exercises have been a crucial aspect of my own personal healing and growth.
3. Reminders
Because practicing new behaviors may require a degree of focus and practice, it can be difficult for some people to follow through and form a new habit. I find it helpful to have reminders such as Sticky notes or an accountability partner to practice new habits. Being aware and reminded about healthier thinking patterns can also be helpful.
4. Self Care/Acceptance
I find that self care practices and acceptance of myself and the reality of a situation can be a key factor regarding emotional stability and life itself. Whether it's taking care of basic health or buying yourself a small gift, it can really make a difference! I am learning self acceptance and relinquishing self shame can take some work and time, but I lean toward the belief that it is worth it!
5. Support System
I don't know where I would be without a solid support system. Having a support network, whether it be a support group or getting professional help, it can help with healing, self isolation and help realize you are not alone. Many support groups or therapists may also suggest helpful coping strategies to help regulate ones emotions more effevtively.
6. Removing/Reducing Triggers
For the longest time, I subjected myself to various people, places, and things that triggered emotional overwhelm. Removing emotional or otherwise overwhelming triggers doesn't always mean completely avoiding all your triggers. It can sometimes be more about knowing ones triggers/feelings, self awareness, and responding in healthier or more tolerable ways (i.e. Limiting how much time you spend around a triggering person, place, or thing). Sometimes avoiding some situations all together is best though.
7. Boundaries
Reducing triggers and setting boundaries go hand in hand. I have learned that setting and enforcing boundaries for yourself is actually a very important and a way to love yourself! I think having internal as well as external boundaries is important to note. I plan on discussing more about boundaries in a future post.
8. Processing Feelings
I know processing emotions is not always fun and can be exhausting, but I have learned that feeling and expressing my emotions is an important element in healing emotions. While I don't believe one should torture themselves into an emotional rut, I have learned that sometimes, in order to release what is going on within a person's mind and body, it can be a relieving to release whatever built up emotions and tension one might be experiencing. Their are a variety of ways to express or relieve emotions. For some people that may include physical activities such as exercise. For others this may include expressing oneself through artistic endeavors such as painting, drawing, writing, or singing etc... Sometimes it can be a relief to talk it out with someone you trust or to have a good cry. I'm not suggesting getting stuck in feelings. It is more about acknowledging, feeling, validating, and releasing the feelings without getting attached to the the thoughts and feelings.
9. Retreating Alone
Because many HSPs can easily get overwhelmed by the massive amount stimuli in the world and in the mind, many HSPs tend to retreat alone to relax, energize, and sometimes even function in the world. While I believe HSPs need more alone time than most of the population, I have learned the importance of not isolating myself as well. Self isolation can lead to lonliness, more feelings of not belonging, and more emotional overwhelm.
10. Change Your Focus
Certain coping strategies such as meditating, changing perspectives, and replacing negative thinking with positive thinking can be beneficial for HSPs. I don't believe it changes the way you think over night but with a certain amount of practice and belief can make it easier. I also find it helpful to focus on some thing that can create joy or laughter. Seeking out inspiration has been helpful for me because I find that not only does it help me feel inspired but it has helped improve my mood, focus, and motivation.
This post is only a brief description about my struggle with emotional overwhelm and 10 tips that have helped me go from debilitating emotions to my current status. Although it hasn't been easy, I can honestly say that I am currently working full time, back in school taking more advanced classes, and persistently working on my revovery. The key has been faith, willingness, and consistency in my growth.
Hopefully these tips will be helpful in some way to others as well! Feel free to let me know in the comments what has helped you with emotional overwhelm or about your experiences. As always, thank you for taking the time to read my post!
With Love,
Dahlia
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What I Love About Crystals!
March 9,2019
After experimenting with a variety of gems over the years, I have experienced a variety of benefits crystals and gemstones exude, such as a sense of peace and tranquility. Simply holding the glossy surface of certain crystals, such as sodalite(my favorite) have been calming for me.
Crystals have also been a great focal point during meditation or when I easily get distracted. I also love the variety of colors and textures displayed as decorations. To sum it up, I think crystals are fun and full of sensory beauty!
Crystals are natural elements made of energy that have been on the earth for ages. There are a variety of shapes, sizes, colors, patterns, textures, properties, and intended uses for crystals. Each crystal truly is unique and may have different energetic effects in a given environment.
Crystals may vary in purpose, meaning, or intended use. Crystals are used in meditation or for a variety of spiritual pursuits. Due to the radiant and aesthetic nature of crystals, many crystals are used in the realms of interior design and photography. A variety of crystals are even thought to bring tranquility, peace, and clarity of mind.
Because highly sensitive people are more prone to energetic and emotional overload, crystals can be an excellent tool for the highly sensitive or empathic person! If anything, crystals are a universal source of visual stimulation and a way to connect with nature! That's a another reason I love crystals!
I plan on posting more about crystal again soon. Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments and wishing you all a lovely day or night!
With love,
Dahlia
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10 Signs You May Be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
March 5, 2019
In a world where being sensitive is misinterpreted as being fragile or weak, many people tend to avoid there feelings and hide their sensitivity. We live in a time where society encourages us to run away from our genuine emotions and we are told to toughen up.
As HSPs, we tend to struggle with this because we have such sensitive nervous systems.This is not an indication, however, that HSPs are weak or damaged individuals.
Highly sensitive people are genetically wired to have finally tuned nervous systems and can easily be over stimulated by various factors(both external and internal stimuli).
Being on the receiving end of an excessive amount stimuli can be very overwhelming and stressful for HSPs. Being wired differently than most of the population can also make it difficult for HSPs to feel validated and understood. It can also make an HSP more prone to a number of physical and emotional issues. It's no wonder so many HSPs tend to need more time to retreat and spend more time alone than other's.
I know all too well how it feels to feel too much and suffer from various ailments ranging from depression and anxiety to chronic fatigue syndrome. I've always felt misunderstood or judged by many people. If you are going through anything like this, I'm here to assure you that you are not alone.
Fortunately, there are a variety of resources and tools that can help HSPs survive and thrive. I honestly don't know where I would be if I didn't learn about my HSP traits as well as related topics to the HSP.
Although I am still a work in progress, discovering that I'm a highly sensitive person and learning ways to work with this trait, has helped me become more self aware. It helped me realize that I needed to do more self care and enforce boundaries when needed. It helped me realize I need to stop being so hard on myself. It has also lead me to make connections to other related topics and have a better understanding of why I'm the way I am. Learning about all this has also helped me realize that being an HSP does not make me an incredibly flawed individual and has lead me to realize that I am not alone. Learning about being the HSP has also helped me find new ways of making my life more manageable.
In the next section, I wrote a list of 10 signs that you or someone you know may be a highly sensitive person. Not everyone will identify with every trait and having a small amount of traits is not an indication of being an HSP. I know there are many ways to list HSP traits and many of the traits overlap, so I summed up a variation of common traits into a list of 10 signs. Following are 10 signs that you or someone you know may be a highly sensitive person.
10 Signs You May Be A Highly Sensitive Person
1. You are Hypersensitive To The Physical Environment (Including To Noise, Sight, Touch, Smell, Taste, and Tempurature)
i.e. You may be hyperensitive to bright lights or noisy crowds. You may also embrace and appreciate positive sensory stimuli more than other's and may be more in touch with a beautiful work of art or be musically inclined. You may also prefer to be in nature.
2. You are More Emotionally Sensitive Than Most People and Have Been Told You Are "Too Sensitive"
i.e. You have felt misunderstood or have been told you are overly sensitive and that you need to grow "thicker skin". Some HSPs feel the need to avoid watching violent movies due to a high sensitivity to violence. Highly sensitive people also suffer from emotional issues such as depression and anxiety. On the other hand, being sensitive can be linked to that spark of creativity HSPs often experience.
3. Avoids Conflicts
Many HSPs fear making mistakes and fear rejection. There is also a tendancy toward perfectionism and avoidant behaviors. Many highly sensitive people are conscientious and have self esteem issues. An HSP may have a preference for introversion. HSPs tend to have difficulty making decisions or a tendency to procrastinate. Because many HSPs easily suffer from sensory overload, retreating alone in a peaceful environment can help HSPs recharge and feel less overwhelmed.
4. You Easily Pick Up On Other's Moods/ Behaviors (Or May Be Empathic)
This can lead to feeling emotionally overwhelmed, stressed, and can be very draining for HSPs. It may also be linked to various physical ailments such as having physical pain or fatigue. Being highly sensitive may also be linked to why so many HSPs are empathic and are more in tune with the needs of other's, including animals. They often are seen working in the helping professions or doing humanitarian work.
5. Intuitive
Many highly sensitive people tend to connect ideas and patterns that other's seem to miss. This may lead to being misunderstood by other's. It may also be why so many HSPs have been known to be innovative or create great works of art. HSPs often have the ability of finding new ways to solve problems.
6. Highly Imaginative
Highly sensitive people often have a rich or overactive inner world. This may be related to why HSPs tend to over think or over analyze situations. This may be a reason why highly sensitive people tend to worry a lot and may easily jump to conclusions about things. Highly sensitive people tend to daydream and may appear inattentive or "spacey" to non HSPs. On the same note, having a rich imagination can also spark creativity.
7. Sensitive To Energies
This may lead to over stimulation or feeling uncomfortable in an environment or around certain people or circumstances. This can occur because many HSPs may easily sense the vibes of a room or person. HSPs also tend to be spiritual and may be spiritually sensitive. Energy sensitivity can be a very enjoyable experience if the HSP is in tune with positive energies.
8. Difficulty Sleeping
With all the various stimuli emerging from various sources to the HSPs sensitive nervous system, it is no wonder HSPs are prone to overthinking and feeling. It is also no surprise that many HSPs suffer from sleep issues such as insomnia.
9. Attract Toxic Relationships
Many HSPs tend to attract toxic people such as narcissists or other unavailable people. This is definately where awareness and boundaries may come in hand. Although toxic people are often drawn to HSPs, a variety of people are also drawn to high sensitives in general. Many people are drawn to the caring and understanding nature of HSPs and turn to them for helping assistance, guidance, or for someone to confide in.
10. Do Not Like Being Micromanaged/Judged
Highly sensitive people tend to br hypervigilent to other's behaviors/cues and can easily become uncomfortable or anxious when it feels as if we are being observed under a microscope. This can negatively effect an HSPs performance or functioning, which can make matters worse.
Hopefully this post has been helpful in some way or has helped you recognize that you or someone you know is a highly sensitive person. Identifying as an HSP is one of the first steps to changing ones life for the better! So... Are you a highly sensitive person? Feel free to let me know in the comments. Thankyou and I will post again soon!
With love,
Dahlia
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Audrey Hepburn Was Considered To Be Highly Sensitive, Talented, and a Dedicated Humanitarian
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