I Am Not Okay With This - Blog Posts

Honestly at this point when Netflix cancels a show it’s an assurance of quality

and if i said media hates gay people..

i did trin lovell’s list, and thought i’d post it. 

tbh i was debating to put tvd in the death row bc i hate sm about it, but it was one of the first shows i ever watched and seasons 2&3 are genuinely good.

 regarding the 100, i actually think the show itself is pretty great (seasons 1-4) but i just have too much pent up hatred towards it bc of bellarke (they literally made me wait 7 years for nothing) and b*liza (clarke and bellamy were my favorite characters and i can’t look at their faces anymore).

some of these rankings are probably gonna be surprising but i stand by them.

TOP 10 TV SHOWS I WATCHED IN 2020

1. Dear White People

This show goes on the top tier of my favorite shows ever. It’s been around since 2017 (after the eponymous movie of 2014) but only this year I finally got the chance to watch it. Truly one of the best written shows I’ve ever seen, with such compelling characters and story. While I love to watch series with hard hitting social topics, it’s usually very emotionally exhausting for me. However, DWP manages to balance the gravity of its plot with a bright outlook. Besides, I always love to see different characters’ perspectives so the format of DWP is extremely engaging.

2. Grand Army

Grand Army is not your typical teen drama. It’s very raw and real. Five protagonists pull you into the story, and whether you hate them or love them, they don’t let you go. All characters feel like actual people you could know in real life. The show talks about racism, terrorism, sexual assault, white feminism, poverty, homophobia, bullying and more. I also love the way the show uses phones and social media, which you rarely get to see in teen shows. It doesn’t feel glossy or over dramatic. It does get graphic and dark, but it makes you care about the fate of its characters. Here, we also get to see five different perspectives. That and the rawness reminded me of SKAM, although GA is way less cheerful. It could also be compared to Euphoria with it’s portrayal of real issues, but I feel like GA hits the spot much better (and has more diversity).

Finding out that the creator is racist, upon finishing the binge, left me shocked and quite conflicted. I hope they will change the showrunner for season 2 (if it gets renewed). 

3. The Great 

I’m not much of a period drama fan but this one’s no typical historical shows. It plays around historical figures, but you shouldn’t take that too seriously, just like the show itself. It’s a great (haha get it) fun to watch. The combination of comedy with the actual life or death peril creates a unique experience. Each episode the tables turn, you feel both, betrayed and enticed. Not to mention, Elle Fanning and Nicholas Hoult’s chemistry and performances are phenomenal. Overall, it feels like a strawberry blew up in your mouth (take it however you want).

4. Dickinson

Dickinson is similar to The Great in a sense of historical accuracy. And I’m grateful for it, because seeing the 19th century nobility twerking at a party was something that brought me an immense amount of joy. Of course, you get to see Emily Dickinson’s poetic and original inner world, which is handled quite creatively.

5. The Queen’s Gambit

This is just a very well written, portrayed and produced story. Even if you feel like it wouldn’t be your cup of tea (I mean a period piece about chess? Come on), chances are once you put the show, you won’t be able to stop. It’s a limited series with a star struck cast which pretty much reads like a prolonged film. It’s also pretty suitable to watch with your family, if usually you struggle to find a common interest.

6. Julie and the Phantoms

This show certainly exceeded everyone’s expectations. It may seem like a typical kids show, but it’s smart, deep and entertaining. The music is incredible and it’s impossible not to fall in love with characters. Also, here’s the proof that your show doesn’t need to have graphic scenes and oversexualized underaged characters to be good. 

7. Saved By the Bell: the reboot

So I didn’t watch the original show, but the reboot caught my attention mostly because of Josie Totah, and because the vibe of the show just felt like something I would like. And I was absolutely right. Perhaps it’s not everyone’s cup of tea (and what is?) but to me it’s hilarious. A sort of heart-warming witty little show with gen z humor and interesting diverse characters. Definitely my new comfort show. And Lexi’s my queen.  

8. Outer Banks

Released during self-isolation it became a way for the viewers to live vicariously through the risky outdoor adventures. Perhaps, that’s why it’s such a hit and a bit overrated. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked (why do you think it’s on this list). It’s not an outstanding show, might be cheesy and raise some questions (like how can they all be teenagers looking like that?) but it’s entertaining and engaging, and sometimes that’s all you need.

9. I am not okay with this

Let’s take a moment of silence for this amazing show being cancelled. Do you like Teotfw or Stranger Things, or better yet both? This show’s for you! It’s unique, dynamic, feels like you’re reading a comic book. Has a certain mystery to it and its own distinct voice. It also feels retro and nostalgic, even though it’s set in modern day.

10. Love, Victor [SPOILERS]

There’s a lot of things I wish I could change about the show to make it better: For starters, more representation. I mean you’re making a show, not exclusively, but primarily for the lgbtq+ community and you only have two main gay characters? What’s that about? There are so many possibilities to make other characters not straight. E.g. Mia and Lake could be couple goals, Pilar being bi, Andrew – definite bi energy. Secondly, the cheating trope is so exhausting and overdone in gay storylines. It doesn’t add drama, it just makes the couple and the characters hard to root for. Also, making the love interest so obvious was so underwhelming after everything we went through in Love, Simon. I was kind of hoping for a surprise love interest until the end.

Regardless of all that, no matter how far from teenage reality this show is, it was cute. And even though I rooted for the secondary characters way more than the main one, I’m still excited to see what they come up with for S2.

shows to watch if you loved IANOWT

Desperately need another season of I Am Not Okay with This? Here’s 5 shows to enjoy while you wait for season 2 announcement!

1. The End of the F***ing World

Okay, it’s an obvious one, given that it’s the same creators behind both shows. It’s even been stated that both stories take place in the same universe. Nonetheless, if you haven’t seen TEOTFW yet, what are you waiting for? There’re a lot of resemblances between characters, many parallels, and the show overall gives off a very familiar vibe. Relatable angsty teenagers, love, friendship, blood and crime. The only thing missing is perhaps superpowers.

2. Sex education

This show can totally fill the void in your heart left by ianowt. Sex education is an homage to John Hughes’ films. That’s why just like with ianowt at first you’re not sure whether the show is set in modern times or in the 80s. You can expect to see a lot of bright clothing, high school clichés, beautiful friendships, well rounded characters. Besides, the show has amazing lgbtq+ representation, well written poc characters, actual female empowerment. This show is definitely everything our generation needs. Not to mention, it is hilarious.

3. Everything sucks

This show unfortunately won’t entertain you for long as it was canceled after one season. However, if you want to watch a wlw relationship, this one’s for you. It’s a coming of age show, set in the 90s, about nerds and theatre kids coming together, and trying to figure out themselves and their place in the world.

4. Freaks and Geeks

Well, this is an underrated classic about outcasts in the 80s, that was also unfairly canceled after one season run. The plot is right there in the title. You follow the lives of Sam and his geeky friends, and his older sister Lindsay who’s trying to fit in with cool misfits. Ultimately, it’s a story about growing up (shocker), battling social norms and searching for your identity.

5. Stranger Things

With the same people producing both shows it’s no wonder they get compared. Stranger things has the same throwback aesthetic, although that might have something to do with the fact ST is actually set in the 80s. And even though scenery is what can attract ianowt audience to this show, the most evident similarity would have to be the girl with super powers. So if you liked ianowt for the supernatural aspect, stranger things has to be first on your watch list.

tfw you're not sure if you're excited for Christmas anymore

where is my emotional support himbo

Boys 

Hi, hello, you don't know me but I just want to say if your blog is nothing but xxx girl leave me alone and stop following me I a minor

Netflix: *doesn’t give I Am Not Okay With This a second season*

Me: I Am Not Okay With This.

✞ there will be blood! ✞

Gay people will be like “this is my comfort show!” And then show you the most emotionally devastating, stress-inducing, tragic piece of media you have ever witnessed

25 May 4:25 am

I have sat here and typed and retyped but nothing comes out that can express the feeling, the only way I can think of is asking the question... When will it pass?

When will I stop picking up the phone to call you only to remember that where you are you cannot receive calls? When will I be excited and not have the instant thought to share it with you knowing that I can't? When will I be able to go to sleep without wishing I did so knowing you were one of the people I spoke to in my day? When does it end? When does this loop end? I am tired. Please stop this feeling because it hurts too much.

I always said the same thing

when asked about relationships

and the reason why I was never in one.

I said it so much it felt a bit rehearsed

but it was true.

I did not need anyone to be happy,

I did not need anyone to come

and step into my world

only to mess it up.

And for so long I kept that up

I let no one in for anything else

but a simple friendship because I knew

that if they left it would be okay

but you came one day and overtime

became that one person;

The one that I never wanted to let go of,

because things with you were great

you came

and became part of my happiness.

Now I am finding it hard to let you go

but I know I will be okay

because I have rehearsed a new line

and it goes a bit like this,

“I learned what love was and I will be okay”

because although I still leave your space

in our bed open as if you would lay there again

I know you won’t and maybe,

just maybe things were meant to be that way

because

I learned what love was

And for that I will forever thank you.  

M.S.I

If every word I said could bring you back,

and allow me to hear your voice once more

I’d talk endlessly

about everything under the sun.

- about the loss of a loved one

No one talks about leaving,

Realizing one day, a day you woke up feeling as if it was going to be any other day, that you no longer love the person the same. The small things you once loved that they put so much effort to go unnoticed. How is it that you woke up and realized you were okay living without them when one day you feared losing them. I think it hurts too, having to tell the person you never planned on being without that things are just not the same and when they ask why, what is there to say? "I woke up on a seemingly normal Wednesday and I realized that you no longer made me feel those puke-worthy butterflies. That I knew I would be okay without you." How do you put that feeling into words? I don't think I will ever be able to give you the answer you deserve and for that I'm Sorry...

I miss you more than I knew I would

and I hate it

because I promised myself

that I wouldn’t be that person,

the one who sits around

wondering how you are

and if you’re happy

but I couldn’t stop it and it sucks

because I wish I didn’t care.

I wish I felt nothing

but how can I feel nothing

for the person

who once made me feel everything.

MSI

I finally got it

I finally understand what everybody meant

when they would tell me that one day

I would fall in love

and I would understand what it was like

to be blatantly lost in someone.

I think it comes out of nowhere.

We don’t expect it,

it’s just there, one day

we realize that one person

can change our happiness

whether it be for the better

or for the worse

and we trust that they won’t hurt us

we just put blind trust

even though we never really know

but we don’t really care.

I think we do it for the momentary happiness

that might last a while,

maybe even forever

but we’re always slightly afraid that it will end

and we’ll go back to how we were before..

Strangers

but in the end we’re not really strangers

anymore...

MSI

<Please Don’t Break Me>

I loved you, I always will,

and that’s the problem

because the sad reality is

that I’ll love you way more

than I will ever love myself..

MSI

<If Only>

And if we ever meet again

I’ll know it’s meant to be

but for now let’s live in this happiness

because we both know it won’t last forever

even though we truly wish it did.

MSI

<Living in the Moment Was Always Our Thing>

It’s like walking through a field of flowers

wearing a white flowy dress and you’re happy

you’re picking flowers and it’s a joy so immense

nobody can stop you, you’re free but then

you hit a wall, the flowers in your hands are not there

they’re replaced by rubbish, and then you look back

and it’s no longer the field of flowers.. it’s a mess

a mess that you have no choice but to fix

so you do, you walk back

and start piecing it all together and you’re sad

you’re guilty because you created such chaos

you beat yourself up about it as you see everything;

the people you hurt, the mistakes you made,

the good ideas that were actually bad ideas

then once it’s clean you’re excited.. it’s the field again

and you’re running through it again and it’s scary

because you never know where the wall is

when you’ll be stuck looking at the mess again

but you still enjoy it, you still love the flowers..

MSI

< Bipolar Disorder In My Words >

I remember those five songs I shared with you,

the ones that showed how broken I was and

as we sat on your car staring at the navy blue sky,

the color it usually was at 3am,

I knew you understood

and I don’t think anyone ever will again...

MSI

<My Favorite Playlist is Filled With The Songs You Shared>

What if I never forget you?

what if, all my life,

when I meet someone new,

I can never fall for them

because they aren’t you?

ANON

And in the fault of our reality

I wished nothing more than

to be able to watch you smile

for the rest of my life...

MSI

<Forever>

The truth is none of us want to be adults..

ME ME MEEE

My toxic trait is that I will watch a show even after fully knowing it's been cancelled and then mourn the seasons I will never get to watch.

Furthermore, I will forever hope the streaming service will renew the show.

Woo!!! First time using water colors to paint people and I think I did pretty good!! Any Feedback is greatly appreciated :)