Toji X You - Blog Posts

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 21 - Say Something

18+ ONLY

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying

an: i’m really sorry for the long wait my loves. i got my heart broken and i just wasn’t able to continue writing. but i’m better now! hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. keep in mind that this is my first time writing smut so it’s probably horrible lmao. SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 20} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84 @stickystay @reneinii @magalimachete @mysteriaqueen @linny-bloggs @loveyislost @amybarnes21

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

Toji didn’t chase people.

He never had, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to start now.

But three weeks had passed, and you were still avoiding him like the plague—ignoring his texts, pretending he didn’t exist at school, slipping away the second he got too close. It wasn’t just pissing him off. It was driving him insane.

He wasn’t the type to overthink things, but after weeks of silence, of replaying that night over and over again, he was starting to lose his patience.

So, when he found himself standing on your doorstep, fists shoved into his hoodie pockets, he barely hesitated before ringing the doorbell.

Your mom answered within seconds, raising an eyebrow when she saw him.

“Toji?”

“Hey.” He leaned against the doorframe, tilting his head slightly. “She home?”

“She’s out with her friends.”

Toji exhaled sharply, jaw tensing. He should’ve known. You were a damn escape artist at this point.

Your mom hummed, studying him. Then, with a knowing look, she stepped aside. “You can wait in her room if you want.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

Walking up the stairs, he found your door slightly ajar and pushed it open, stepping inside for the first time.

It was exactly what he expected.

Your scent clung to the air—something warm and familiar, like vanilla and something softer, something that reminded him of you. Blankets were thrown haphazardly over your bed, little trinkets and books scattered across your desk. A framed picture of you and your friends sat by your nightstand, along with a small polaroid of you at your birthday party last year.

Toji ran his fingers over the polaroid before shoving it into his pocket, then sat on the edge of your bed, shoulders tense.

Now, he just had to wait.

You don’t expect to find anyone in your room when you get home, let alone Toji.

He’s sitting on your bed, one leg lazily propped up, scrolling through his phone like he has every right to be there. But when you step inside, his gaze snaps to yours, sharp and unreadable.

Your stomach twists.

You haven’t spoken to him in three weeks—not a single text, not even a glance at school. And now he’s here. Waiting.

“Toji—”

“Oh, look who finally decided to show up,” he cuts in, his tone dangerously casual. He tosses his phone onto your nightstand and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Was startin’ to think you died or somethin’.”

You force a shaky breath. “What are you doing here?”

His jaw ticks. “What am I doing here?” he repeats, voice low, like he can’t believe you just asked that. “Nah, what the hell have you been doing? Three weeks, and you couldn’t be bothered to text me back?”

Your mouth opens, but nothing comes out.

He scoffs. “Right. ‘Cause that’s all you do now, huh? Run away when shit gets real?”

“That’s not—”

“Bullshit,” he snaps, standing up abruptly. The sheer size of him, the intensity in his eyes, makes your pulse jump. “You didn’t even have the decency to say anything. Just dipped, like I meant nothing to you.”

His words hit harder than you expect. “That’s not true.”

“No?” He lets out a bitter laugh. “Then what? You wake up and suddenly decide I ain’t worth your time?”

“I was scared,” you admit, voice barely above a whisper.

Toji doesn’t react at first. He just stares, expression unreadable, before tilting his head. “Scared of what?”

You swallow hard. “I don’t remember anything after we left the party.”

His entire body goes rigid.

“I woke up, and I—” You wrap your arms around yourself. “I didn’t know what happened. I didn’t know if I did something I’d regret, if we did something that—”

Toji’s expression darkens. “You think I’d let something happen to you that you didn’t want?”

“No! That’s not what I—” You run a hand through your hair, exhaling sharply. “I just panicked, okay? I didn’t know how to face you after that. I thought maybe I’d ruined things between us, so I just—”

“Ghosted me?” he finishes flatly.

You wince. “I know it was shitty.”

“Shitty?” His eyes narrow. “Nah. Shitty is forgetting to text back once or twice. This?” He gestures between you two. “This was a fuckin’ choice.”

Your throat tightens. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Yeah? Well, congrats, blondie,” he says coldly. “You did.”

Silence stretches between you, thick and suffocating.

Toji shakes his head, pulling something from his pocket. When he grabs your wrist and presses it into your palm, you look down, recognizing your missing earrings.

Your heart clenches.

“There,” he mutters. “Now you got all your shit back. No reason to ever see me again.”

Panic flares inside you. “Toji, wait—”

“Nah.” He steps around you, heading for the door. “I’m done. You don’t want me around? Message received.”

He’s almost gone.

He’s actually leaving.

You don’t think. You just grab his wrist, yanking him back with every ounce of desperation in your body. “Please,” you whisper. “Don’t go.”

His body tenses under your grip, but he doesn’t turn.

Tears prick your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you breathe. “I am so, so sorry. I handled this horribly. I was selfish and scared, but I never wanted to hurt you.”

Toji’s silent, his shoulders stiff.

You clutch him tighter. “I missed you,” you say, voice breaking. “Every single day, I missed you. I just didn’t know how to fix it.”

His jaw clenches. “You don’t get to do that,” he mutters. “You don’t get to disappear and then act like I’m supposed to forgive you just ‘cause you feel bad now.”

You step closer, heart pounding. “Then tell me how to fix it.”

He finally turns, and the look in his eyes nearly knocks the air from your lungs.

Frustration. Hurt. Longing.

You reach for his hand. He doesn’t pull away.

“I swear,” you whisper, “I won’t run again.”

Toji watches you, expression unreadable. Then, with a rough sigh, he tugs you against him, wrapping his arms around you like he’s been waiting weeks to do it.

“You’re a real pain in the ass, y’know that?” he mutters into your hair.

You let out a wet laugh. “Yeah. I know.”

His grip tightens. “Don’t pull that shit again.”

“I won’t.”

He exhales, pulling back just enough to look at you. His gaze flickers to your lips.

“You gonna run if I kiss you?” he murmurs.

Your breath hitches. “No.”

That’s all he needs. His lips crash against yours, and it’s not soft—it’s desperate, frustrated, full of everything left unsaid. You clutch at his hoodie, pulling him closer, and he groans into your mouth, deepening the kiss.

His hands grip your waist, guiding you back until your legs hit the edge of the bed. He pushes you down with ease, his weight pressing against you, and heat floods your body.

Your fingers tangle in his dark hair as he kisses you harder, dragging his lips along your jaw, down to your throat. His breath is hot, his touch even hotter, and every inch of you feels like it’s burning.

“Toji—”

He silences you with another kiss, smirking against your lips.

“Bet you won’t forget this time,” he murmurs.

And then his hands start to wander.

You squeal against his lips as he roughly cups your plump ass cheeks and pulls you even closer.

He pulls away, heavily breathing and staring into your eyes for what feels like an eternity.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he mutters, his voice rough as he gently cradles your face and kisses you hard.

Your lips move against his, the world outside this moment fading into irrelevance. His hands find your waist, pulling you closer, bodies pressed together as if the space between you was unbearable. The heat of his breath, the way his fingers grip your waist—it’s dizzying.

Somewhere between the push and pull of your embrace, your steps falter. A gasp slips past your lips as you lose your balance, your fingers clutching at his shirt for stability. But he’s just as lost in you, and together, you tumble onto the bed, the mattress dipping beneath your weight.

A breathless laugh bubbles from your throat, but it’s quickly swallowed by another kiss, his lips capturing yours again before you can say anything. The sheets crumple beneath you as he shifts, one hand braced beside your head, the other trailing down your arm. Everything about him is overwhelming—the way he tastes, the way he feels, the way he looks at you like he isn’t quite sure how to stop.

Your heart pounds, anticipation thick in the air. The moment stretched between you, heavy with the unspoken, waiting for whatever came next.

Toji starts pressing wet kisses on your jaw, slowly making his way down your neck, leaving you gasping and whimpering.

A cocky smirk finds his lips as he lets his hands wander under your shirt, gently caressing your soft skin.

A shiver runs down your spine as you gently push him away, your hands trembling slightly as you sit up. Your fingers curl around the hem of his shirt, and for a moment, you hesitate. The weight of his gaze burns into you, intense and unreadable, making your pulse race.

Swallowing hard, you finally tug his shirt up, your knuckles brushing against the firm planes of his stomach as you lift the fabric over his head. He helps you, yanking it off the rest of the way and tossing it carelessly to the floor. The sight of him—his toned chest rising and falling with each measured breath—leaves you momentarily breathless.

Toji watches you with dark amusement, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Damn, you gonna stare all night, or…?”

Heat rushes to your face, but you refuse to back down. Instead, you roll your eyes and place your hands on his bare shoulders, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your palms. “Shut up,” you mumble, trying to sound annoyed, but the way your voice wavers betrays you.

His smirk deepens as he leans in, his nose brushing against yours. “Make me.”

Before you can respond, his lips find yours again, more insistent this time, his hands skimming down your sides. His fingers ghost over the hem of your top, a silent question. You nod—just barely—and he takes that as permission, peeling it off you with agonizing slowness.

The air feels cooler against your exposed skin, but Toji is warm—burning, almost. His hands settle on your waist, pulling you closer until you’re practically straddling him. Your fingers explore the contours of his shoulders, his biceps, the hard lines of his chest.

His lips trail down the side of your neck, lingering just below your ear before he murmurs, “You good?”

You exhale shakily, nodding. “Yeah.”

His hands travel lower, tracing the waistband of your jeans before he effortlessly undoes the button. A nervous thrill shoots through you, anticipation tightening in your stomach as he tugs them down, his touch both careful and firm.

Your own hands fumble with the drawstring of his sweatpants, your heart hammering as you push them down his hips. He helps you, kicking them off until they join the mess of discarded clothes on the floor.

Now, only a thin layer of fabric separates you both, and the realization makes your breath hitch. The air between you shifts—charged, expectant.

Toji cups your face, tilting your chin up so your eyes meet his. “You ready?” His voice is softer now, the teasing edge gone.

You nod again, more certain this time. “Yeah,” you whisper.

His lips curve into something almost gentle before he pulls you back in, pressing you into the mattress as his hands begin to roam once more.

With an unusual gentleness he spreads your legs and slowly pulls your lacy panties off. His breath hitches in his throat and for the first time in his life Toji feels speechless.

It’s not like he’s a virgin and has never seen a naked woman before but you’re on another level. He finds himself staring at all of your naked glory only to be interrupted by you closing your legs.

“The fuck you doin’?” he asks, his voice gruff.

“You’re staring!” You whine in embarrassment causing him to grin in amusement.

“So? I’m enjoying the view. Now spread your legs f’me, blondie.“

You do as he says and smack his biceps when you notice him smirk again. Your mouth opens to form a response but all you can do is let out a soft gasp as you feel Toji’s warm tongue part your lips and slip inside your warm pussy.

He holds onto your trembling legs while he eats you out as if it were his last meal. You try to close them to get away from the foreign overstimulation but he merely fixes you with a sharp glare before continuing.

Breathless moans leave your flushed lips as Toji lets his wet tongue drag an agonizingly slow lick directly to your swollen clit. You arch your back, burying your fingers in his unruly hair as you come undone.

You think this is it and are about to sit up but Toji only grumbles in displeasure and laps up your juices with his tongue, making sure to revel in your taste. A soft whimper leaves your plump lips as he starts sucking on your aching clit and you can’t help but to pull on his hair. “Toji… s’too much,” You mumble bleary eyed.

“I’ll get’cha next time,” He replies with a smirk, which only widens when you tug on the hem of his boxers shyly. “Use your words, princess.”

You mumble something inaudible causing him to frown at you. He tilts your chin up, caressing your lower lip with his thumb before grabbing your hand and pressing it against his huge bulge.

“Use your words.”

“Please,” your voice sounds breathless but he just clicks his tongue sharply and shakes his head.

“Please what? You’re a big girl. Spit it out,” he quips, slowly guiding your hand into his boxers.

“Please fuck me,” you choke out, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the feeling of his hard cock in your hand.

“Finally.”

With that Toji quickly rips his boxers off, revealing himself in all his glory.

All of the embarrassment suddenly seems to disappear as you’re met with the entirety of his length.

“What. The. Fuck.”

“The fuck you mean?”

“It’s too big. I’m not even trying to stroke your ego but that… thing, is going to split me in half.”

“No it’s not,” he snorts and guides your hand back towards his length, encouraging you to wrap your hands around him again.

You do so with some hesitation but relax slightly as you slowly start moving your hands up and down. A low groan leaves Toji’s lips and you can’t help hut smirk at the sight of his features contorted with pure bliss.

„Fuck princess… You gotta chill or i‘m gonna cum,“ He groans as he pries your hands off of his hard cock.

You feel your face heat up and look up at him as he gently pushes you back onto your bed and gets settled between your legs.

“You ready?” he growls — not really asking. Then he slams in, slow but deep, dragging it out just to feel you take every inch. The stretch burns, your walls clenching around him, helpless to the way he fills you. You let out a broken moan, back arching, fingers digging into the sheets like they could ground you through it.

Instead of moving like you expect him to Toji just stays there, buried deep inside you, letting your pussy pulse around him.

“Fuck,” He mutters, hips flexing. “You’re so fucking tight.”

He doesn’t wait for a reply and starts moving.

He drags out of you slow, just enough to make you whimper, before slamming back in hard. Deeper. Your mouth falls open, but no sound comes out—just a breathless gasp.

“That the spot?” he murmurs against your neck, his voice thick with heat.

His hips roll again, slow and exact, hitting it perfectly. You nod, dazed, gripping whatever you can reach as your body arches up into him.

You nod, unable to speak and bite your lip to stifle your embarrassingly loud moans.

Toji looks at you in displeasure and leans in closer, softly panting into your ear.

“Cmon princess. Wanna hear those pretty sounds again,” He whispers as he picks up his pace.

You wrap your arms around his strong neck and bury your face into the crook of his neck, moaning as you feel him hit that spot.

“Fuck yeah,” He growls, his head moving downwards to press heated kiss all over your neck.

“Keep on making those pretty sounds for me baby,” He groans against your flushed and slightly sweaty skin.

You were losing your mind. You were getting closer to the edge with each thrust, each rub, and each low growl in your ear.

“Toji… Fuck! M’close..”

“Yeah? Me too- Fuck. Cmon princess… fuck..! Cum f’me.”

You break. Your body shakes beneath him as you clench around him so tightly that he lets out a broken moan. Your scream comes out of your throat, loud, broken, and genuine.

“Ohhh fuck,” he gasps and pulls out just in time to stroke himself twice, thick ropes of cum painting your stomach.

You find yourself lying together, breathless and tangled in the aftermath of everything. Your mind was still a whirlwind, but it was no longer filled with panic or fear. Instead, you were left with a strange sense of clarity.

You and Toji had crossed a line, and now you would have to deal with the consequences. But for now, all that mattered was that you had each other.

You quickly got dressed, the awkwardness now settling between the two of you. You tried to ignore the weight of the situation, but when you both walked down the stairs, you were hit with the reality of what had just happened.

Your mom sat at the kitchen table, her eyes wide and a knowing smile on her face.

“Good evening, you two,” she said with a raised eyebrow, clearly enjoying the discomfort on both of your faces. “I hope you’re both feeling alright.”

You stare at your mom in shock, your mouth wide open as you try to process the embarrassment of the situation. Your mother heard you have sex. Great.

“Toji, you’re welcome to spend the night. I just want you guys to be careful and use protection. Maybe try to keep it down. Your father and I would like to sleep once he gets home,” she says and winks at the both of you.

“Thanks, Mrs. [Y/L/N],” Toji says smoothly, his tone casual. “We’ll keep it down.”

Your mom just smirked, obviously finding this entire situation far too amusing. “Alright then. Just be mindful of the noise,” she added, her voice filled with an almost teasing lilt. “Wouldn’t want to hear anything I’m not supposed to, now, would we?”

Toji’s eyes flickered toward you, and you could see a faint smirk tug at the corners of his lips, but you didn’t want to look. You couldn’t look. You were mortified.

“Well,” your mom said, her tone light. “I’ll let you two get on with it. Good night.”

You and Toji stood there, frozen for a second. Then, with a shared awkward glance, you both slowly made your way to the fridge.

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 20 - Radio Silence

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullyingtaglist:

an: he just like me fr #crashout SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 19} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84 @stickystay @reneinii @magalimachete @mysteriaqueen @linny-bloggs @loveyislost @amybarnes21

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 19 - Heat of the Moment

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying

an: Do you guys want full on smut or should I just keep it like this??? SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 18} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84 @stickystay @reneinii

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

The party was in full swing by the time you arrived with your friends, the bass from the music vibrating through the floor as costumed students filled every corner of Gojo’s massive penthouse. Halloween decorations covered the place, from fake cobwebs to eerie glowing lights, and the air smelled of alcohol, perfume, and the faintest hint of weed. You adjusted the ears on your head, smoothing down the tight and form fitting top of your Lola Bunny costume as you scanned the crowd.

It didn’t take long to spot him.

Toji stood near the drinks table, pouring himself a whiskey into a red Solo cup, the black and white Ghostface mask lazily pushed up onto his head. His bare chest was fully on display—his excuse for a “costume” being nothing more than black sweatpants and the mask. The defined muscles of his torso flexed as he moved, tattoos standing out against his tan skin, and you could already see girls eyeing him from across the room.

A smirk pulled at your lips as an idea formed in your head.

You weaved through the crowd and crept up behind him, waiting for the perfect moment before leaning in close. “Boo.”

Toji tensed, his hand twitching around his cup as he turned sharply, his usual scowl in place—until his eyes landed on you.

His expression froze, mouth slightly parted as he took in your costume. His green eyes darkened, gaze trailing over your body, from the fluffy ears on your head to the dangerously short shorts that barely covered anything. His tongue swiped over his lips as he blatantly checked you out, and for a second, you swore he forgot how to speak.

Then, just as quickly, his expression twisted into something irritated. “The fuck are you wearin’?”

You blinked, taken aback. “A costume?”

He scoffed, his eyes flickering to the guys around you, lingering on the ones that had been stealing glances your way. His jaw tensed, and before you knew it, he was yanking his hoodie from where it was tied around his waist and tossing it at you. “Put that shit on.”

You caught it, brows furrowing. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He crossed his arms over his chest, biceps flexing. “Walkin’ around damn near naked—everyone’s starin’.”

“Oh, so what, you’re allowed to be shirtless, but I have to cover up?” You put a hand on your hip. “That’s rich.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

He scowled. “It just is.”

You grinned. “You’re jealous.”

“Jealous?” He let out a dry laugh. “Of what?”

“Of all the guys looking at me right now,” you teased, stepping closer. “Bet you wanna fight every single one of them, huh?”

Toji’s eye twitched. “I swear to god, Y/N—”

“Relax, big guy.” You threw his hoodie back at him with a wink.

Toji opened his mouth to retort, but before he could, a familiar figure brushed past the two of you.

Gojo.

You both immediately turned your attention to him, watching as he strolled by, one arm lazily slung over the shoulders of a girl. She was dressed in a police officer costume, tight-fitting but understated, a stark contrast to Gojo’s usual flashy preferences. His criminal costume complemented hers, a lazy attempt at “matching,” but what caught your attention was the way she clung to him—not in an attention-seeking way, but in a way that made it clear she was anxious and had her guard up.

Toji let out a low whistle. “So he really got a girl, huh?”

You crossed your arms. “Guess so.”

“She don’t look like his type.”

“She’s not.”

Toji glanced at you. “You met her?”

“Yeah, yesterday.” You sighed, shifting on your feet. “I might’ve been kinda mean to her.”

At that, Toji’s expression shifted. His brows furrowed slightly, lips pulling into a pout that he’d never admit was a pout. “Why?”

You shrugged. “I dunno. I guess…I was just surprised. I thought he’d go for someone different.”

“You mean someone like you?”

Your eyes flickered to his, and you could see the irritation swimming beneath them. He didn’t like the idea that you might still care.

You smirked. “Maybe.”

Toji scoffed. “You’re full of shit.”

You only laughed before turning on your heel and disappearing back into the crowd.

As the night went on, you could feel Toji’s gaze on you, your eyes meeting across the room every so often, a silent tension building between you. The occasional glances, the way his lips quirked up whenever he saw you laughing, the way you’d purposely sway your hips just a little more when you knew he was watching—it was a game, a dangerous one, but neither of you wanted to stop playing.

By the time 2 AM rolled around, you were tipsy, the alcohol buzzing through your system as you stepped out onto the balcony to get some air. You leaned against the railing, enjoying the crisp night breeze, when a familiar voice rumbled behind you.

“Coulda sworn I told you to cover up.” His voice was rough, low, edged with something that sent a shiver down your spine.

You turned, crossing your arms as you met his gaze. “You’re still on that?”

He smirked, stepping closer, his presence impossibly heavy. “Nah. Just figured I should remind you.”

“You’re annoying.”

“You love it.”

“Do I?”

“Mhm.”

You stared at each other, the air between you charged, thick with something unspoken. The tension had been simmering all night, bubbling under the surface of every lingering glance, every brush of your fingers when you passed each other.

And now, it was spilling over.

Your heart pounded as you tilted your head, voice softer now. “What are we doing, Toji?”

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he let his gaze drop, slowly trailing down the curve of your neck, past your collarbone, over the fitted top hugging your chest. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips before he met your eyes again, darker this time, the green nearly swallowed by black.

“You tell me,” he murmured.

Your breath caught.

Something shifted.

Before you could second-guess yourself, you closed the space between you, your hands hesitating for only a second before grasping the waistband of his sweatpants, tugging him just a little closer. His chest brushed against yours, and the heat radiating from his skin was almost overwhelming.

His fingers brushed along your waist, barely there, a teasing touch that made you tremble.

You tilted your chin up, while he lowered his head to lean in closer, lips just inches from his. “I think you wanna kiss me.”

Toji huffed a quiet laugh, but it was strained. His fingers flexed against your waist, gripping you tighter, as if to steady himself.

“Yeah?” His voice was husky, a challenge laced beneath it.

You nodded, your nose brushing against his.

“You gonna do something about it?”

Toji’s patience snapped.

His mouth crashed onto yours, rough and hungry, like he’d been waiting all night for this moment. His hands found your hips, pulling you flush against him, and the heat of his bare chest burned through the thin fabric of your top. His lips were soft but demanding, his teeth nipping at your lower lip before he soothed the bite with his tongue, tasting the faint trace of alcohol on you.

You whimpered against his mouth, fisting the fabric of his sweatpants as his hands roamed your body, fingers digging into your thighs, your waist, anywhere he could touch. He kissed you like he was starving, like he needed to memorize the shape of your lips, the way your breath hitched when he tilted your head back to deepen the kiss.

His hands moved up, fingers slipping into your hair as he tilted your face, pressing deeper, devouring you. You felt the rough scrape of his stubble against your skin, the sharp contrast between his firm grip and the lazy drag of his lips against yours. He was overwhelming, intoxicating, and you couldn’t get enough.

You tugged at his waistband, making him groan against your mouth, his hands squeezing your hips in response. He pulled away just enough to mutter, “Keep doin’ shit like that, and I ain’t stoppin’.”

Your lips were swollen, breath shaky as you stared at him, both of you panting, drunk on each other.

You licked your lips. “Maybe I don’t want you to.”

Toji grinned against your skin, his teeth grazing your jaw before he kissed you again, slower this time, savoring every second. His hands slid under your hoodie—his hoodie now draped over your shoulders—fingertips tracing the bare skin beneath it.

“Fuck,” he muttered against your mouth. “You’re dangerous.”

“You like it.”

“Damn right, I do.”

And then, with a heated pull, he had you back against him, pressing his lips to yours with a force that left you breathless.

It was the last thing you remembered clearly.

The next morning, you woke up in unfamiliar sheets.

Your heart pounded as you blinked against the morning light, the events of last night hazy in your mind. Your head was killing you, and your limbs felt heavy as you slowly turned your head—only to see a very shirtless Toji sleeping beside you.

Your stomach dropped.

Oh, shit.

Panicked, you sat up, heart racing as you looked down at yourself—no clothes. No fucking clothes.

Your hands trembled as you quickly got out of bed, scrambling for your outfit. Your thoughts were jumbled, memories a blur, and you couldn’t even piece together how you’d ended up here. The only thing you knew was that you had to get out.

Toji stirred slightly, his brows furrowing in his sleep, but he didn’t wake up.

Holding your breath, you grabbed your heels and tiptoed to the door, slipping out as quietly as you could.

You didn’t stop moving until you were outside, the morning air biting against your bare skin.

And then, finally, you let out a shaky breath.

What the hell did I do?

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 18 - Dressed to Kill (Literally)

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying

an: lmaooo publishing a halloween chapter even though we‘re in february is crazy. SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 17} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84 @stickystay @reneinii

 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚  𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚  𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚  𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚  𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚  𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚  𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚  𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 17 - Sideline Tension

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying

an: We’re getting there! SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 16} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84 @stickystay @reneinii

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

The sound of cleats against pavement, the distant echo of whistles, and the low hum of chatter filled the air as you walked toward the football field beside Toji. The late afternoon sun bathed everything in a golden hue, casting long shadows across the ground.

And now, here you were, strolling side by side, the atmosphere somewhere between comfortable and charged with unspoken tension.

Toji, dressed in his fitted football gear—black compression shirt snug against his torso, emphasizing every sculpted muscle, and his practice shorts hanging loose around his powerful thighs—looked ridiculously good. It pissed you off how effortlessly attractive he was.

“You sure you ain’t gon’ get bored out here?” His voice was lazy, teasing.

You scoffed. “I think I’ll manage.”

He glanced at you, smirking. “Doubt it. I don’t exactly see you as the ‘football fan’ type.”

“I’m not. But you invited me, so…” You trailed off, keeping your expression neutral.

Toji clicked his tongue. “Oh, so if I tell you to do somethin’, you just do it?”

You turned your head to glare at him. “No, dumbass. I just figured I’d come see what the hype is about. Since you act like you’re some football god.”

He chuckled, amused. “Tch. You act like I ain’t.”

“Wow. Humble much?”

He grinned, running a hand through his hair. “Why the fuck would I be humble? I’m good as hell at this shit.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered, rolling your eyes.

As you reached the field, you noticed a few people glancing your way—mostly girls. Their eyes flickered between you and Toji, some whispering, others just straight-up staring. You pretended not to notice.

“Don’t get shy on me now,” Toji murmured, low enough that only you could hear.

You shot him a look. “Why would I be shy?”

He smirked. “You tell me.”

Before you could reply, one of his teammates called out to him from the field.

“Aye, Zen’in, quit flirting and get your ass over here!”

Toji clicked his tongue in annoyance but turned to you, walking backward as he smirked. “Sit tight, sweetheart. Try not to fall in love watchin’ me.”

You flipped him off as he jogged away, and he just laughed.

Now alone, you made your way up to the bleachers, settling in with a perfect view of the field.

And goddamn.

Watching Toji play was something else.

The raw athleticism, the power in his movements, the way his muscles flexed and tensed with every sharp pivot and sprint—he made everything look effortless. His control over his body, the precision in his throws, the speed with which he dodged and weaved past defenders, it was undeniable. Even someone like you, who barely gave a shit about football, could see why people hyped him up.

You weren’t the only one staring.

Toji!”

His ex.

She sauntered up to him in her cheer uniform, a full face of makeup despite having no reason to be dressed up at practice. She rested a hand on her hip, tilting her head.

“So, is Coach lettin’ you play again or what?”

Toji barely glanced at her. “Yeah.”

She pouted. “That’s all I get? Not even a hi?”

Toji sighed. “Hi. Bye.”

She huffed, stepping closer. “You been ignoring my texts.”

He shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Toji, c’mon,” she whined, reaching out to touch his arm. “You know I didn’t mean to piss you off.”

He took a step back. “Don’t touch me.”

She narrowed her eyes, and then—

Her gaze landed on you.

Her face twisted. “You brought a girl to your practice?”

Toji exhaled sharply, running a hand down his face. “I swear to God—”

“You never let me come to your practices,” she cut him off, glaring. “But now you’re bringing some random bitch?”

At that, Toji turned fully toward her, his expression dark. “Man, fuck off.”

Then, without another glance, he walked off toward the locker room.

But his ex?

She was pissed.

And she was coming straight for you.

“You must feel real special, huh?” she sneered, stopping in front of you.

You raised a brow. “Excuse me?”

“You think you’re hot shit ‘cause Toji brought you here?” She crossed her arms. “Let me guess. You let him fuck, and now you think y’all together?”

Your jaw tightened. “First of all—fuck you. Second—what I do with Toji ain’t your business.”

She scoffed. “Oh, please. He’s mine.”

You laughed. “Clearly not.”

Her face reddened. “Listen here, you little sl—”

“Get the fuck outta her face.”

Toji’s voice cut through the tension like a knife.

His ex turned, startled.

Toji stood there, gaze cold, expression unreadable. “What the fuck you doin’?”

She hesitated, then quickly masked it with anger. “Why the fuck did you bring her here?”

“Why the fuck do you care?” he shot back, unimpressed. “Ain’t you got somebody else to bother?”

Her jaw clenched. “You—”

“Nobody gives a fuck.” He grabbed your wrist, pulling you away. “Let’s go.”

You let him pull you along, not even looking back.

Once you were both inside his car, the tension snapped.

You exhaled a laugh. “Bro, what the fuck was that?”

Toji leaned back in his seat, rubbing his jaw. “That bitch is insane.”

You grinned. “‘Toji, baby—why’d you bring her—’”

Toji groaned. “Yo, shut the fuck up.”

You laughed harder, and after a beat, he chuckled too.

The rest of the drive was smoother. You talked about the upcoming tournament, football, and the game schedule before arriving at his place.

His house was empty, his parents at work, his brother nowhere to be found.

“Make yourself at home,” Toji muttered, heading for the shower.

Toji’s room wasn’t what you expected.

You thought it’d be messy—chaotic, even—but it wasn’t. It was simple, kind of bare, but still very him. The walls were a muted shade of gray, a few framed football posters hanging up alongside an old, slightly torn banner of his favorite team. His desk had a couple of notebooks scattered on it, some loose pens, and a few protein bar wrappers shoved into the corner. A pair of weights sat abandoned near the door.

His bed was unmade, but not in a disgusting way—just a little disheveled, like he didn’t bother fixing it in the mornings. His pillows were slightly flattened, and his dark gray sheets were bunched up near the foot of the bed.

And then there was your scarf.

Neatly folded under his pillows, like it belonged there.

You stared at it for a long moment, your heart doing something weird in your chest.

The sound of the bathroom door opening snapped you out of your thoughts.

When you turned, you almost choked on your own spit.

Toji stood in the doorway, hair damp and messy, wearing nothing but a pair of low-hanging gray sweatpants. His abs—toned, glistening with residual water droplets—were on full display, and for a second, you could only stare.

His lips quirked. “Damn. I ain’t even say nothin’, and you already droolin’?”

Your brain took a second to reboot.

“Shut up,” you muttered, crossing your arms.

Toji chuckled, rubbing the towel over his hair. “Nah, you shut up.”

You rolled your eyes, turning back toward his bed. “So what are we watching?”

A brief argument ensued over Netflix choices, ending with Outer Banks playing on his small TV. You both got comfortable—him lying lazily against the pillows, you sitting with your legs crossed beside him. The occasional banter, the random commentary on the show—it felt normal, in a way you hadn’t expected.

And at some point, Toji knocked out.

You didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep until you felt his weight shift, his arm draping over your waist.

Your breath caught.

He was warm. Heavy. Relaxed.

His face, usually set in a cocky smirk or a lazy glare, looked softer like this. His long lashes rested against his cheekbones, lips slightly parted. He looked peaceful.

You let him sleep, settling deeper into the pillows as the episode continued playing in the background.

And when you eventually dozed off, it was to the feeling of his steady breathing against your skin.

When you woke up, it was still dark outside. The TV was still on, the glow of the screen casting flickering light across the room.

And Toji—Toji was still holding you.

Your heart did that stupid thing again, and you slowly shifted, trying to untangle yourself from him without waking him up.

It didn’t work.

He stirred, blinking groggily, his grip loosening as he groaned. “The fuck…” His voice was raspy with sleep.

You sat up, stretching. “You knocked out on me.”

Toji blinked a few more times, slowly realizing the position you’d been in. His jaw tightened slightly, and he cleared his throat, sitting up as well.

For the first time, he looked shy.

“You didn’t have to let me sleep on you,” he muttered, running a hand through his messy hair.

You smirked. “Didn’t have much of a choice, big guy. You latched onto me like a damn leech.”

He scowled. “Shut the fuck up.”

You laughed, nudging him with your elbow. “I should probably head home.”

Toji rubbed the back of his neck, still looking slightly embarrassed. “Yeah. Aight.”

The drive to your house was mostly quiet.

Not awkward—just quiet.

You both seemed lost in thought, the air between you still buzzing with whatever had just happened.

When he pulled up in front of your place, you turned to him with a small smile. “I had fun today.”

Toji snorted, his usual cockiness returning. “Yeah, yeah.”

You rolled your eyes. “Just say you had fun too.”

He smirked. “Aight. I had fun.”

You scoffed. “That was the most insincere shit I’ve ever heard.”

His grin widened. “Take it or leave it.”

You rolled your eyes again, reaching for the door handle. “Whatever. Good night, Toji.”

“Night.”

You stepped out of the car, giving him a small, shy wave before heading inside.

And Toji…

Toji watched you go, his fingers subconsciously tightening around the steering wheel.

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 16 - Ex’s And Oh’s

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying

an: What should her name be? Does she even need a name? Tell me your thoughts and ideas please! SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 15} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84 @stickystay

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 15 - Late Night Cinematics

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying

an: i love them sm y‘all. SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 14} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84 @stickystay

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

The cinema lobby was buzzing with activity—people shuffling to buy tickets, the smell of buttery popcorn hanging thick in the air, and faint chatter blending with the hum of nearby arcade machines. You stood off to the side, arms crossed and foot tapping a rapid rhythm on the tiled floor, glancing at your phone every few seconds. Toji was late. Again. You tried not to scowl, but the irritation bubbled up the longer you waited.

Finally, the doors swung open, and there he was. Toji strolled in as if he had all the time in the world, hands in his hoodie pockets, a lazy smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. His hood was up, and he carried himself with that same cocky air you always found infuriating. He didn’t look the least bit apologetic.

“You’re late,” you said the moment he was close enough to hear.

Toji raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. “You say that like it’s a big deal. The movie hasn’t even started.”

You glared at him, your voice rising slightly. “I told you to meet me fifteen minutes ago. You could at least pretend to care.”

“Why?” he said with a shrug. “I’m here now, ain’t I?”

The casual dismissal made your jaw clench. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that one before.” He paused, digging into the pocket of his hoodie and pulling out a pack of gummy bears. He unwrapped it slowly, popping one into his mouth, his eyes never leaving yours. “You done nagging yet?”

Your mouth opened to retort, but before you could say a word, Toji plucked a gummy bear from the pack and shoved it into your mouth. The unexpected move left you speechless for a moment, the taste of artificial fruit bursting on your tongue as he grinned at your flustered reaction.

“You talk too much,” he said, clearly amused.

You smacked his hand away, chewing quickly to get the gummy bear out of the way. “You’re such a—”

“Yeah, yeah,” he interrupted, cutting you off with a wave of his hand. “C’mon, princess, we gonna watch this thing or not?”

Letting out a frustrated huff, you turned and stormed toward the theater entrance, ignoring the sound of his low chuckle behind you.

Inside, the theater was dimly lit, the previews already rolling. You found your seats and slid into the one closest to the aisle, leaving Toji to take the seat next to you. He slouched back immediately, his long legs stretching out, one arm casually draped over the back of your shared armrest.

You shot him a sidelong glance but chose not to comment. Instead, you focused on the screen, determined to enjoy the movie despite his irritating presence.

At first, Toji tried to pay attention, but it didn’t take long for his focus to drift. The movie was colorful, sure, but it didn’t hold a candle to the person sitting next to him. He found himself glancing at you more than the screen. The way your eyes lit up during the funny parts, the small gasps you let out during the suspenseful moments, and that little smile you’d get when something particularly heartfelt happened—it was all more interesting to him than anything happening in the film.

When the characters began to sing, he noticed your expression shift. Your face softened, your lips parting slightly, and there was a light in your eyes that made him stare. He wasn’t sure why, but something about the way you looked in that moment struck him.

You must have felt his gaze because you turned to him and smiled, leaning in slightly to whisper, “I love, love. This is so cute, right?”

Toji snorted, quickly looking away. “Corny as hell,” he muttered, but the faint blush creeping up his neck betrayed him.

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “You’re such a liar.”

The movie continued, and your hands occasionally brushed as you both reached for the popcorn. Neither of you said anything about it, but Toji’s hand lingered just a little longer each time, almost daring you to notice.

When the credits finally rolled, you stretched your arms over your head, letting out a content sigh. “That was so good!”

Toji shrugged, standing and shoving his hands into his pockets. “It was alright.”

You rolled your eyes. “Why did I even invite you?”

“Good question,” he said, smirking as he followed you toward the exit.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook yet,” you said, grabbing his sleeve and tugging him along. “You’re buying me a snack.”

He stopped walking, forcing you to turn and look at him. “Me? Buy you something? Nah, I don’t think so.”

You crossed your arms, giving him a pointed look. “I paid for the tickets, and you were late. It’s only fair.”

Toji sighed dramatically, as if you’d just asked him to move mountains. “Fine, but you better not make this a habit, princess.”

The diner you chose was a small, cozy place with bright red booths and a jukebox humming softly in the corner. You slid into a booth, pulling out your phone the moment your milkshake arrived. It was a towering glass of pink, topped with whipped cream and sprinkles, and you immediately started snapping pictures.

Toji leaned back in his seat, watching you with a raised eyebrow. “You really gonna post that?”

“Of course,” you said, angling your phone for the perfect shot. “It’s cute.”

“You’re such a dork,” he said, shaking his head.

You shot him a look, flipping him off with your free hand. “And you’re such a jerk.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, chuckling. “So, what? You just take pictures of food all day and call it a job?”

“There’s more to it than that,” you replied, putting your phone down. “I have to plan content, edit photos, engage with my followers—it’s a lot of work.”

“Sounds fake, but okay,” he teased, taking a sip of his chocolate milkshake.

You glared at him, but the small grin on his face made it hard to stay mad. The conversation flowed easily after that. You talked about his football games, your future plans, and somehow ended up debating which milkshake flavor was superior.

The drive back to your house was quieter, though not awkward. You fiddled with the hem of your shirt while Toji kept one hand on the wheel, the other resting lazily on his lap.

When he pulled into your driveway, you turned to him with a small smile. “I had fun tonight.”

He smirked, leaning back slightly. “Don’t get used to it.”

You rolled your eyes, opening the door. “Goodnight, Toji.”

“Night,” he said, watching as you walked to your door.

As he pulled out of the driveway, his eyes caught something in the passenger seat. Your scarf. He picked it up, the soft fabric slipping through his fingers. It smelled like you—sweet and familiar.

When he parked in his own driveway, he still had the scarf in his hand. Instead of leaving it in the car, he brought it inside, tossing it onto his bed. Later that night, as he lay there in the dark, he found himself reaching for it. The faint scent of your perfume lingered, and for some reason, it made him smile.

He closed his eyes, replaying the night in his mind. The way you laughed, the way your eyes lit up during the movie, the way your hand brushed against his. For the first time in a long time, Toji fell asleep thinking about someone other than himself.

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 14 - Mufasa and Mixed Signals

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying

an: If it‘s not too much to ask: PLEASE LEAVE MORE COMMENTS I‘M DYING TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK AHHHHHHH!!!! If you have any other questions please don’t hesitate to send me messages. I love and appreciate you all. SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 13} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84 @stickystay

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 13 - What comes after

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying

an: sigh… i love him idc. SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 12} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

The drive to the location Toji sent you feels longer than it should. Maybe it’s because your mind is racing, or maybe it’s the late hour amplifying the stillness of the world outside. You pull into the dimly lit park, heart pounding, and spot him immediately—slouched on a bench, an empty whiskey bottle dangling precariously from his fingers. He looks utterly defeated, the sharp edges of his usual confidence dulled by whatever demons have led him here.

You step out of the car and approach cautiously. His head tilts slightly at the sound of your footsteps, but he doesn’t fully acknowledge you. Instead, he mumbles something incoherent, his words slurred.

“Toji.” Your voice is firm, sharper than you intended. “Get up. You’re coming with me. Your parents can‘t see you like this.“

He looks up at you with bleary eyes, his face flushed from alcohol. “Y-you came,” he slurs, his words tumbling over each other. “Missed you… swear I missed you. I’m sorry, okay? For everything. Just… I’m sorry.”

You don’t reply, don’t give him the satisfaction of even a hint of forgiveness right now. Instead, you focus on getting him upright, looping one of his heavy arms over your shoulders and guiding him to the car. His steps are unsteady, his weight pressing into you as he leans more than he should.

The entire drive back, he’s rambling. “You… you don’t get it,” he slurs, his head lolling back against the seat. “You think I’m just some… some asshole, huh? You hate me. I can’t… I hate me too, okay?” His words are fragmented but raw, the emotions behind them impossible to ignore.

You grip the steering wheel tighter, keeping your focus on the road. He keeps going, his voice breaking every now and then. “I never wanted to hurt you… never wanted to… God, you probably think I’m a piece of shit.”

You don’t respond. You just drive, his drunken words filling the silence.

When you finally reach your apartment, you manage to drag him inside. He’s heavier than he looks, and he isn’t exactly helping. As soon as you guide him into your room, he collapses onto your bed, sprawling across it like he owns the place.

“Toji, get up,” you say, exasperated.

“Nah,” he mutters, burying his face into your pillow. “This is… I’m good here.”

You roll your eyes, but there’s no real malice behind it. Instead, you sigh and kneel down, tugging his shoes off one by one. When you straighten up, his eyes are on you, glassy but sincere.

“You’re… too good,” he murmurs. “Too good for me. Always have been. Don’t deserve you… don’t deserve this.”

“Toji, just sleep,” you say, voice softer than before, despite your frustration.

He doesn’t listen. “I’m sorry,” he continues, his voice breaking. “For everything I said. For… all of it. You… you didn’t deserve that. Not you.”

Your chest tightens at his words, but you don’t respond. Instead, you awkwardly climb into bed beside him, keeping as much distance as possible.

“I mean it,” he mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper now. “You’re… you’re the only good thing. Always have been. I just… I ruin everything.”

Tears sting at your eyes, but you blink them away. “We’ll talk in the morning, Toji,” you whisper, your voice trembling.

He nods faintly, and before long, his breathing evens out. You lie awake for a while, your mind racing with everything he’s said.

When you wake, the sunlight streaming through the window, you’re wrapped in his arms. His grip is loose but firm enough to hold you in place. You tilt your head slightly, studying his face in the soft morning light. There’s a scar on his lip, jagged and slightly faded. It hits you, a memory he once let slip years ago—that his older brother, Jinichi, gave him that scar during a fight. What had struck you most then was how casually he’d mentioned it, as if it were normal.

The thought churns uneasily in your stomach. His parents never punished Jinichi for it, just like they never seemed to care about all the other ways they neglected him. No wonder he resented his family, always carrying that bitterness like a second skin.

You carefully extract yourself from his hold, slipping out of bed without waking him. After a quick trip to the kitchen, you return with a glass of water, some painkillers, and a simple breakfast.

To your surprise, he’s already awake when you walk in. He sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes, and you wordlessly hand him the plate.

“Thanks,” he mutters, his voice hoarse.

The two of you eat in silence, the tension in the room palpable.

When you finally break the quiet, your voice is steady but firm. “Do you want to talk about last night?”

He glances at you, then looks away, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. “Yeah,” he says, barely audible.

You wait, giving him the space to speak.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, his voice low. “For… everything. I ain’t good with this… this kinda shit, but… I know I fucked up. A lot.”

“You did,” you say, your voice soft but unyielding. “And I can’t just… pretend like everything’s okay now. You’ve hurt me, Toji. A lot more than you probably realize.”

He nods, still not meeting your eyes. “I know. And I ain’t expectin’ you to just… forgive me like that. But… I’m gonna make it right. However long it takes.”

You study him for a moment before nodding. “We can try… being friends. Maybe.”

His lips twitch into something that almost resembles a smile. “Yeah. Friends.”

Neither of you mentions the way you woke up tangled in each other’s arms.

As you clear the dishes, Toji sits back, lost in thought. In his mind, he recalls waking up in the middle of the night, your face illuminated by the moonlight. He remembers thinking how beautiful you looked, how peaceful.

Your full lips had been slightly parted as you slept, and his hand had rested lightly on your hip, almost as if it belonged there. He’d never noticed the softness of your skin before, but last night it had been impossible to ignore.

It hit him then, like a punch to the gut. You were… everything. Too good, too kind, too beautiful.

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 12 - Ghosted and Guilty

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying

an: pretend like it‘s different times. got lazy teehee. SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 11} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Chapter 11 - Dinner and Disdain

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying

an: how we doing…? SMOOCHES 💋💋💋

{chapter 10} ; {next}

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie

࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

The dining room was tense, the air thick with unsaid words and resentments. Toji sat across the table from you, his head tilted slightly, eyes cast downward, focusing intently on the food on his plate. The clinking of silverware was the only noise cutting through the silence between you both. Your parents and his adoptive parents chatted away like old friends, their laughter and warm tones only emphasizing the heavy wall between you and him.

“Y/N, you barely touched your food,” your mom said, her voice cutting through your quiet frustration.

“I’m fine, Mom,” you said quickly, stabbing at a piece of broccoli just to stop her from asking again.

Toji’s mother, a kind woman with a perpetual smile, glanced at him. “And Toji, you’ve barely said two words all evening.”

Toji grunted, his usual noncommittal response, shoving another forkful of food into his mouth.

The parents exchanged looks but didn’t push. Soon enough, they excused themselves to enjoy the garden, leaving you and Toji to clean up the aftermath.

You immediately got up, stacking plates in silence. Toji did the same, moving with the kind of deliberate awkwardness that came when two people who desperately didn’t want to be near each other had no choice.

The sound of water running in the sink filled the void as you scrubbed at the dishes, refusing to look at him. Toji stood a few feet away, drying off a plate. He kept glancing at you, opening his mouth once, then shutting it again.

Finally, he sighed. “Look, I…”

You stiffened but didn’t turn around. “What?”

“I, uh…” He shifted uncomfortably, gripping the towel tighter. “I just wanted to say… I shouldn’t have said some of the stuff I said. At my place. It came out wrong.”

You froze for a moment before finally turning to face him. “Came out wrong?”

“Yeah,” he said, his tone defensive already. “Like, I didn’t mean all of it. Just some of it.”

“Just some of it?” you repeated, your voice rising as anger bubbled to the surface. You put the plate down, turning fully toward him. “Do you even hear yourself, Toji? Do you even care about what you said or did? Or is this just you trying to get rid of your guilt?”

His jaw clenched. “I ain’t tryin’ to get rid of nothin’. I just—”

“You just what?” you interrupted, your voice cracking. “You think you can say sorry, and it magically undoes all the years of hurt? All the shit you put me through? You think I’m just going to forget the way you humiliated me, ignored me, and treated me like I was nothing?”

Toji’s face hardened, though his eyes betrayed a flicker of guilt. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Didn’t mean to what, Toji? Didn’t mean to make me feel like I was less than human? Because congratulations, you did that perfectly.”

His fists clenched at his sides. “I wasn’t tryna make you feel like that. I just—look, I didn’t ask for you to be in my business when we were kids, okay? You were always actin’ like you could fix me or somethin’, like I was some damn charity case. That shit got under my skin!”

Your chest tightened as tears welled up in your eyes. “You think I was treating you like a charity case?” you asked quietly. “I just wanted to be your friend, Toji. I just wanted to help.”

“Well, I didn’t need it,” he snapped, his voice harsher than intended.

You let out a shaky breath, the tears falling freely now. “You know what? You’re right. You didn’t need it. And I didn’t need to spend years of my life caring about someone who couldn’t care less about me.”

Toji’s mouth opened as if to say something, but no words came out. He stood there, frozen, as you wiped at your face.

“I’m sorry for being pushy and overbearing back then,” you said, your voice trembling. “I’ll keep my distance from now on. You can have your space. Just stay out of mine, and maybe we can finally move past this.”

With that, you turned back to the sink, your hands trembling as you finished washing the last dish. Toji stood there, silent and motionless, as if struggling to find something—anything—to say.

But nothing came.

You placed the clean dishes on the rack, brushed past him without looking, and walked out into the garden to join your parents. Toji stayed in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, the weight of your words settling heavily on his shoulders.

When you reached the garden, you plastered on a smile, though your cheeks were still damp. Your parents took the cue to wrap things up quickly, and soon enough, you were leaving.

Toji didn’t come out to say goodbye.

Toji SMAU - When love was always there

Masterlist!

Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.

Taglist: OPEN !

taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84 @reneinii @magalimachete @mysteriaqueen @linny-bloggs @loveislost @amybarnes21 @1ennj4 @shycreatorreview

<<their social media

Introduction

Chapter 1 - The Chase

Chapter 2 - Bait and Burn

Chapter 3 - A Deal with the Devil

Chapter 4 - What he won’t say

Chapter 5 - Lines in the Sand

Chapter 6 - Muhammad Ali

Chapter 7 - Hit First, Ask Late

Chapter 8 - Threads of Anger

Chapter 9 - Behind closed doors

Chapter 10 - The Weight of Silence

Chapter 11 - Dinner and Disdain

Chapter 12 - Ghosted and Guilty

Chapter 13 - What comes after

Chapter 14 - Mufasa and Mixed Signals

Chapter 15 - Late Night Cinematics

Chapter 16 - Ex’s and Oh’s

Chapter 17 - Sideline Tension

Chapter 18 - Dressed to Kill (Literally)

Chapter 19 - Heat of the Moment

Chapter 20 - Radio Silence

Chapter 21 - Say Something

Sunshine 𖤓 [Masterlist]

summary — « Toji Fushiguro is just trying to raise his 6 year old son, Megumi, whilst living the dangerous life he was born into the best he can. He hasn’t felt a single ray of sunlight illuminate his dark world ever since his first love died while giving birth to their son. Toji only realizes that he is surviving rather than living when Megumi begins to act out, making him question everything from the past few years. But just when he starts believing his life couldn’t get even more complicated, a woman he least expects walks into his life and finally lets the sun in. »

tags/warnings — dad!toji, baby!megumi, fem!reader, strangers to friends to lovers, angst!!!, but an equal amount of fluff, eventual smut (not sure yet), explicit language, reader has daddy issues lol, mentions of parental loss, alcohol consumption, age gap (Toji’s 35, reader’s 24), anxiety, depression, Megumi and Toji are a mess but reader is an angel, assassin!Toji, Nanami adopted Nobara, Yuji lives with his grandpa and older brother!Sukuna […]

a/n — this is officially my first series hehe. It’s more self indulgent and light as I plan on releasing something else soon :3 pls enjoy this series of domestic fluff <3

— Chapters —

- Prologue -

1 . Spare Tire

Disclaimer! - Art/dividers are not mine!

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Summary: Is Toji jealous of a helpless baby? Oh, he absolute is!

Warnings: Fluff

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

“Isn’t he the cutest?” You gush as Megumi yawns. Toji clicks his tongue. He’s cuter– Plus, he has teeth. The stupid baby doesn’t even have a way to chew food. “You look just like your daddy, oh my…”

“You got that right!” Toji agrees, making a chuckle leave your lips. You were afraid that once the baby came along Toji would act weird, but no. He’s still an overgrown child when it comes to you; Toji isn’t willing to share you with anyone, not even his own son.

Megumi begins to cry, getting fussy as his drowsiness gets the best of him. Would he really be a baby if he didn’t cry for everything? His eyes are getting heavy, and he doesn’t know what happens when they close, of course he’s scared.

“He didn’t get the crybaby part from me though.” Toji quickly defends himself, making you click your tongue. It’s odd to watch your husband compete with a baby, but did you expect less?

“Toji he’s a baby!” You remind him, but that doesn’t impress him. You end up sighing, handing the crying baby to your husband. Megumi isn’t only your son, but his as well. Toji can bear some of the responsibilities. “Put him to sleep, I’m going to take a shower.”

“But–” Toji begins, but he can’t finish protesting before he’s carrying a chunky baby. Megumi was born so small, but at four months, the baby is nearly 17 pounds. His little cheeks are so round and kissable now, something that the man would never admit outloud.

Toji sneaks one of those kisses on the cheek before telling Megumi, “I can pretend to stop hating you now that we’re alone.”

Toji puts the baby on his chest, hand caressing his small back. Something that works charms with the baby. Toji smells the small amount of hair on his head, kissing him again. “You know I just do that because I want your mommy’s attention.”

The crying dies down, sleep getting the best of the baby. He can fight it and fight it, but that’s the one thing that will always win: sleep. He’s just like Toji in that sense too. 

“I love you, Megumi.” Toji says, eyes glimmering at the small baby. He lightly chuckles as he mutters, “You’re still not cuter than me though.”

devoted f.toji

pairings: fushiguro toji x fem! reader

cw: heavy angst, arranged marriage, illness, inaccurate descriptions of heart disease (just did some research lol), megumi is 5 years old, mentions of abuse, some kissing, mentions of pregnancy, drinking, toji is giving mixed signals, suggestive themes, lots of cursing, happy ending. wc: 18k

a/n: this was a filo au that i posted on tiktok, but due to problems posting on tiktok, the story wasn't finished and now here it is with an ending!! sorry for the long wait my tiktok readers 🥹 i'm sorry if the ending did not meet your expectations :') will post the angst ending soon

despite the years his past wife died, he still couldn't move on. it's up for the fate to decide if you could change him.

happy ending | alternate angst ending

being an outcast in your family is the worst. you were forced to marry someone who's like you.

toji fushiguro, an outcast in his family and both of you were forced to marry each other. you've heard rumors about him. mostly bad ones. his father's company is famous after all.

toji have a son from his deceased wife. the time you met his son, megumi, you thought the kid will hate you but it was the opposite. he welcomed you, even told you that he was happy he finally has a mother.

you and toji never really interacted with each other that much, only if needed, like family gatherings or when megumi is around. who would want to show a kid that you're not interested with each other, right? but when it's just the two of you, both were completely a stranger to each other. there were times were you wanted to start a conversation because sleeping in one bed was awkward especially when there's no conversation at all.

you did start a conversation at some point but toji's presence was intimidating enough to shut you up. as time passes by, you're getting used to his presence. he seemed to be scowling at all times but you noticed that, that's just how he is. you continued to interact with him until you and him finally got comfortable with each other, where good morning and good nights were exchanged. but then you've grown attached to the man, especially his son.

when you asked toji why his last name is fushiguro, he told you that it was his deceased wife's last name. toji still refused to bring back his last name which is supposed to be zenin. he told you that his family once forced him to use zenin again but toji simply ignored them. even though toji was an outcast, none of his family couldn't argue with him so he kept the last name fushiguro while you stick with your own last name.

being an outcast, you didn't feel any love from your family and the simple things toji showed you made you feel loved. that night he let you borrow his jacket when it started to snow unexpectedly, those times where he makes extra coffee for you, he would even let you hug him if you have nightmares and most of all, he defends you from your family.

that's what you loved, no– love about him. but you wonder, does toji feel the same? and the answer was already obvious. toji only accepted the marriage because he doesn't have a choice. they will remove him from the business his family owns and he doesn't want that because he needs money for his son, megumi. he promised his deceased wife that he'll take care of megumi after all.

and you adore toji for that. sometimes you think, will toji cherish you the same way he does with his deceased wife? even if his wife died many years ago, he still have the love he has for her, as if she's still around to feel it.

-

you were currently laying on the couch as you hug yourself for warmth. it wasn't an argument with toji, but you just want to be left alone for now. the words "i love you" accidentally slipped out of your mouth, and you didn't mind if toji doesn't reply and you just hoped he didn't reply to it at all.

"i love you, toji." you whispered, enough for him to hear and his eyes looked guilty as he looked away from you.

"you shouldn't." toji replied. "you'll just hurt yourself."

"i know."

"you know we're married only in papers, we already decided to be just friends." you already know that, but you couldn't just hold back anymore, and of course he would say that. toji thinks no one could replace the love his deceased wife showed and gave him. she was there at his lowest point, she comforted him, told him the words he doesn't know he deserves to hear and toji just couldn't open his heart to love someone, at least not anymore. his wife was enough, megumi addressing you as his mother is enough, even a part of toji doesn't want it.

you glanced at the ring he's caressing on his finger. it should be the ring you placed on his finger on the wedding day but instead, it was the promise ring his wife had gave him. your heart couldn't ache anymore. you're so used at the empty feeling that it doesn't hurt you anymore.

"i'm sorry.." you mumbled as you excused yourself, deciding to just sleep on the couch. there you've grown to realize that being attached with toji fushiguro was the biggest mistake you'll ever done but you'll never regret.

-

you woke up with a shuffling beside you. you opened your eyes and saw megumi with his small blanket on his hand as he frowned at you.

"mama, it's cold." megumi said as he hurriedly draped his blanket above you.

"it's fine, megumi." you smiled at him as megumi tucked his small body on your arms.

"mama, did papa make you cry?" megumi asked and you pinched his nose as you disagree with his question.

"no megumi, mama fell asleep here while watching." you said.

"okay, i love you mama." megumi said and it has been minutes since he said those words and you were still silent that it made megumi look up at you.

"mama, i love you." he repeated with a hushed tone.

"i―" it was as if you choked on something as you embraced the child. "i love my baby too." you muttered.

after that conversation with toji, everything feels weird as if it's reminding you of your place, that you were forced to marry toji to strengthen your family's bond with the zenin's.

"papa loves you too." megumi mumbled and you just hoped it was true.

toji's mother suddenly visited that day without a notice and toji wasn't around. his family doesn't really hate you but there's always a weird atmosphere around when you're close with them. just when his mother asked where toji was, he suddenly came back from work.

you knew he went here in rush, and the way he wrapped his arms around you as his lips came in contact with your forehead made your heart flutter. but you reminded yourself that it was only for a show. his mother smiled at the scene as toji sat beside you on the dining table.

"what brings you here, ma." toji asked in an annoyed tone.

"i just wanted to visit my grandson." you excused yourself a bit as you made your way towards the kitchen to make them something to eat and drink, and when you came back, the question you and toji were avoiding got asked by his mother.

"when do you plan on having another child?" she asked.

"no plans yet, we're to busy to have another child running around. megumi is enough."

"it's been a year since you're both married. why not give it a try?"

"ma―" you cut toji off before he could say something harsh to his mother.

"we did try it, ma, but it didn't really work so we decided to just wait for the right time." you answered, lied for toji and his mother seemed to buy it.

"ok.. but i am getting old, toji. we need to see a female granchild too." she said before excusing herself to go to her grandson who was playing. toji huffed at her mother's response as he stood up from the chair.

"i am sorry about that, toji." you said because as much as possible, you wanted to avoid answering that question too. toji sighed as he left the kitchen to get changed and when he went back to the living room, his mother was about to leave.

finally. he thought.

"just give it a try." toji's mother told you as she went inside her car.

"why'd she go here without informing me." toji muttered as megumi sat between you and him on the couch, showing the chocolate his grandmother gave him.

"i was surprised too."

"that's fine, thank you for covering up for me." he said as he stood up from the couch and took the chocolate on megumi's hand while carrying him. megumi whined in surprise as his father carried him like a sack of rice as you slowly followed behind.

"papa!" he exclaimed, kicking and punching but it was no use.

"come on, we don't want mama to get mad for eating to much sweets at night." toji said. he wasn't talking about you, you know that.

he placed megumi down beside the refrigerator as he placed the chocolate inside.

"too much sweet is not good for you." toji said as he carried megumi once again.

-

you just finished washing the dishes as you walked past megumi's room, and their muffled voices made you eavesdrop at their conversation, and you maybe you just didn't.

"megumi, why are you being so stubborn? you don't want mama to get mad right?"

"mama doesn't get mad at me!" megumi yelled as you smile a bit at his words.

"megumi, did you already forget your real mama, hm? she'll be sad in heaven. you want that?" toji said and his words was like a needle that was continuously poking at your chest.

"huh? but mama is here." megumi said, pointing at the door.

"look, (name) is just a replacement for your mama, but your real mama? she loves you, her love for you couldn't be replaced by someone."

"even (name)?" megumi said, and the way he addressed you by your name, you admit hurts. you took a deep breath as you felt a sharp pain in your chest. but that's fine, you're already used to it.

"yes, now go and sleep okay?"

"okay."

-

megumi started acting awkwardly towards you the next day, he was trying his best to avoid your gaze, maybe even you. he would stutter through his words between calling your name or 'mama'.

"bye bye, (name).." megumi looks away at you as he held toji's hand.

"bye bye." you replied as you forced a smile and megumi looked back once at the front door as they finally left the house.

-

"papa, i don't want to see mama sad." megumi said as toji placed his seatbelt. megumi might be a kid but he can clearly understood human emotions. when he called you by your name earlier, he saw how your smile disappeared but then you covered it up by a forced smile, and you just let him call you by your name.

"she's not sad-"

"yes she is."

"you don't understand, megumi." toji said and megumi only kept quiet because he knew arguing with his father is useless.

-

megumi jolted awake. he fell asleep after being in school the whole day as he searched for your presence. he had a dream, a really bad one and he found you in your and his father's room, talking to someone in your phone. megumi heard a sob coming out of you. you said something that megumi couldn't quite hear as you finally ended the call. he watched as you wiped your tears with your palms and took a deep breath. megumi silently close the door as he went back to the living room, sitting patiently as you appeared on his view.

"oh, megumi. how was your sleep?" you asked as you kneeled infront of the boy. megumi observed your eyes, they were a bit red.

"it's fine, mama." you were taken aback. he's calling you mama again. you smiled as you cupped his chubby cheeks.

"are you hungry?" you asked and he nods as you guided him on his feet. he didn't let go of your hand.

"mama, i love you. you're my one and only mama." you felt megumi's small hands squeeze your big ones, as if he's reassuring you of something.

"i love you too, my one and only baby. now let's go and prepare dinner!" megumi noticed that your mood shifted, and he was proud of himself that he was the one who brought a smile on your face.

-

it's unusual for you to wake up with toji's arms around you. you knew toji didn't do it on purpose, he was drunk last night and you just want to indulge the moment, even just for a minute or even seconds. you felt toji moved and you immediately stood up from the bed.

why do you feel guilty? it's not like you and toji were cheating on his wife. but that's how you felt. toji was still sleeping as you sighed, placing the blanket above him as you went out of the room.

"good morning, mama!" megumi greeted as he closed his ipad off.

"morning, 'gumi. what do you want for breakfast?"

"anything you cook!" he answered as he sat on the kitchen stool, watching you prepare the ingredients you needed.

"pancakes or rice?"

"rice!"

"okay." you laughed at his energetic response.

"mama can we buy art materials later? my teacher said we'll do arts on monday."

"sure, let's go out after we eat."

-

toji heard you and megumi talking as he arrived the living room. and just as he was about to enter the kitchen, your body bumped on his chest.

"oh, i was about to wake you up. breakfast is ready." you said, about to went back to the table but toji held your arm to stop you for a moment. he placed his other hand behind his head as he looks away.

"did i said something weird? last night." he asked as you look at him for a moment before you shake your head left to right. toji sighed in relief as he let go of your arm, both of you sitting on the kitchen stool. you look at toji, and he looks at you, but you couldn't meet his eyes as you smiled at megumi and place the food on his plate.

-

you just finished brushing your teeth as you were disturbed with a loud thud outside the bathroom.

"toji? are you there?" you called.

it was as if your soul went out of your body for a second, toji appeared infront of you. a curse slipped out of your mouth as toji's weight fell on you.

this was your first time seeing toji drunk, even your first time encountering a drunk person and you really don't know what to do so you tried your best to pull him with you in the room since he was so heavy.

once you opened the door of your room, you and toji fell on the ground. does his wife encountered this event a lot of times? if so what did she do?

toji was whispering something. you couldn't quite hear him as you placed your ear close to his mouth, the smell of alcohol getting stronger than it was and he was apologizing. you were confused as you move away from him.

"toji, i can't carry you anymore." you said, trying to wake him up as toji's eyes slightly opened.

"my wife." he whispered, you don't know if that certain beat in your heart was because he called you his wife or maybe because he mistook you of his wife.

and the next words he uttered is what you didn't expect as he suddenly placed his hand on your cheek and you were completely frozen in your spot as he continued to speak.

toji's hand finally slipped from your face as his head fell on your shoulder and you sit there, processing the words he said just a minute ago

he didn't mistook you as if wife, he indeed called you his wife and it warmed your heart.

"mama?" you were out of your thoughts when you felt megumi's hand above yours. "are you okay?" he asked as you look at him and then at toji.

"i'm fine, what was it again?" you asked, facing megumi as he smiled at you.

"papa will go with us later!" he said.

"oh? is that so?" you said as you look at toji, waiting for his answer.

he laughs at your reaction.

"looks like you don't want to?" he joked.

"it's not like that! it's always just me and megumi, since you're always busy.." you responded.

"yeah, today's a day off." you cursed internally. you have an appointment to the doctor today, you thought taking megumi with you would be fine, but toji? what reason should you tell him? you couldn't possibly say that you have a family meeting. no, you don't even have someone you can call a family, except for this two. plus toji would be updated if there's a family gathering.

maybe you'll ask the doctor to move appointments.

-

"are you sure? though i'm not sure when my schedule's gonna be clear again, (name)."

"it's fine choso, i can wait, just update me."

"sorry about that, i'm busy these days plus yuuji's been wanting attention too."

"is that so?" you said as you smile. "i want to meet him soon! looks like he's a good kid."

"soon, i'll bring him to the hospital with me."

"okay, see you next time then?"

"yeah. and (name), don't stress yourself too much, it's bad for the heart." you smiled at his words.

"of course, thank you. bye."

"who's choso?" startled by the voice, you immediately hid your phone behind you.

he was eavesdropping.

toji raised his eyebrow at your reaction as he opened his cabinet.

"a friend of mine."

"really? didn't know you have a friend." toji said in a voice you couldn't recognize, it was as if he's mocking you. you scoffed at him, deciding to just ignore his words.

you were about to leave the room but toji's voice stopped you.

"if you're starting to date someone, don't inform megumi about it. or he'll be sad." he said, mumbling the last sentence as you left. did toji really thought you were dating someone even if you're married already?

sure everything is one-sided, but you just don't have it in you to date someone, not when toji already has your heart, your everything. even if he doesn't know it. but you think it's better for toji to assume that choso is something in your life than choso just being an appointed doctor.

-

toji was too drunk when he got home and he think he just saw his deceased wife, but when he approached the person, it turned out to be you.

toji noticed that he was at the bathroom and felt your hands on his arms as you place it on your shoulder. he felt drinking that day, he wanted to forget everything or maybe when his wife appeared on his dream last night, the words he told her. he didn't want to wake up that night.

toji already forgot her face, her voice, how her hands felt on his. he already promised that they will meet again. in next life or in another universe. it doesn't matter where, as long as he could meet his wife again. but his wife told him in his dreams that he should move on, and he couldn't just do that.

toji did saw your efforts. he saw how you care for him, especially megumi. but he couldn't just stop himself from comparing you to his wife on his mind. no one could ever replace his wife. toji squinted his eyes, he saw you trying to pick him up.

"toji, i can't carry you anymore." but your words was a blur to him.

toji's hand twitched and moved on its own as he sat up from the floor.

"i'm sorry, i can't." he muttered as he placed his rough hand on your cheek, observing your eyes as he leaned his forehead on yours. "i can't love no more. i can't love you the same way. i'm sorry."

toji was the man of your dreams.

he might not know it but toji saved your life, he saved you from the hands of your greedy parents.

"i can't love you the same way, i'm sorry." the way he said those words were filled with guilt.

sometimes you put yourself on his place. if you were the one that has a past lover who died, of course it'll be hard to move on, especially when that person made you feel love and gave you the world.

toji was miserable back then, not until he met her. she fixed him. just like you and toji, you met him and he fixed you. the only difference was they loved each other. she loved him and he loved her, while you love him but he was stuck in the past.

there were times where you watch him sleep, not in a bad way, but just want to admire him where you whisper your love for him. he won't hear it of course. his dreams must be more entertaining than the words you're whispering to him.

toji's words that night made an impact to you. everything he does for you, you started viewing it as him just doing it for kindness and not for love. maybe toji just doesn't want to hurt you further because he knew how badly your family treated you back then. you were on the same page after all.

now you realized that maybe it was bound to happen, that being married with toji is enough, being a mother figure to megumi was enough. he already did enough for you, for taking you away from your hell life. you'll just pay him back by doing what you should for him and megumi.

you'll just love him silently. you'll bury your feelings deep inside your heart that only you, yourself knew. maybe wait for him to finally acknowledge you. but you knew it wouldn't happen this time around.

for now, you'll just watch him love someone who wasn't even around anymore.

-

toji was showing you a picture of his past wife because you asked him to see her. she looked a lot like megumi, but a female version. now you know why toji fell in love with her. even in the picture, it was already obvious that his wife was kind and a loving person. but you're kind and a loving person too, aren't you? the universe is so unfair.

"this is when she was 7 months pregnant." toji said as he pointed a specific picture. you smiled at his words as you continue to listen to him. but toji suddenly went silent all of the sudden and closed the album as he cleared his throat.

"why, did you want to see it?" he asked as he placed the album back inside his drawer.

"just curious, she looked a lot like megumi." you said as you lean your head on your knees, facing him. "how did you meet her?"

"it was an arranged marriage too." he said. "i wasn't really favored with it but i don't have a choice." toji smiled. how can a person like her make him smile like this when you can't? "she was simple, i suddenly fell in love with her." toji said with adoration in his voice as he looked at you.

you sighed as you lay flat on the bed and started stretching your arms.

"ah, i wonder if someone would love me that way too." you sighed as you turned your back on him.

"you will, but that couldn't be me." he said straightforwardly as if reminding you that you couldn't change his mind anymore and it made you curl yourself on the sheets.

"are you and that choso dating?" toji asked as you turn to face him. he was leaning his back on the headboard with a laptop on his lap.

"no? why'd you assume we're dating?"

"you've been going out a lot these days, i just thought."

"are you okay with that?" you asked.

"of course." and he didn't even hesitate which hurt you more. "i mean, maybe he's the one you're looking for?" toji said as he closed the laptop, the surroundings being engulfed with darkness, the bright moon outside being the only source of light.

but you're already here. you wanted to say those words but you already knew what he'll respond to it. toji lay flat on the bed as he placed his arms behind his head while you were still facing him.

"not gonna answer my question?"

"oh? what was it again?"

"i said maybe choso is the one you're looking for."

"toji-"

"i just want what's best for you, y/n. you know, i can't really.."

"toji, i already know that. choso is just a friend, nothing more, nothing less." you said followed by a sigh. "at least just let me be by your side." you whispered, hoping that he heard even just a bit of it.

"if you insist, but i already warned you." toji said.

"i know.." toji was just beside you, but he's far within your reach. has it always been like this? every night, you and toji always ends the day with a conversation, same question with the same answers and toji will end up with his back facing you. every night, you couldn't sleep. only whispering those three words to him hoping and praying that he'll hear it and say it back.

every i love you's that was whispered were left hanging on the air. sometimes it was tiring, thinking of the words toji said that maybe he wasn't really for you and you weren't the one for him.

"good night." you mumbled.

"good night." he replied and everything was dark.

i love you, toji.

those words you utter to yourself every single day and night, hoping that he'll say it back, maybe just once, and it might heal the void inside your heart. but not a single day he said it back.

-

toji felt guilty but he shouldn't be feeling this way. you were just married on papers and already agreed that being friends was enough. yet he couldn't help but watch as you curl yourself, as if seeking for a comfort he knew he couldn't give you. he apologized on his mind, he couldn't say it out loud because he knew how it would hurt you more, so he just stayed silent.

toji switched off the lights as he lay comfortably to the side with your back facing him. he doesn't know how long he's been closing his eyes but sleep just couldn't take over him.

"i love you, toji."

he froze on his spot and his body tensed as he heard you whispered those words. he then felt your fingers caress the scar on his lips.

"i'm sorry if you ever feel guilty for not returning my love for you. but always know that i understand you." you whispered and your touch disappeared on his skin as he felt your warmth get close to him. "i'll keep waiting, maybe someday.." minutes passed, toji was still waiting for you to say something but you were already silent.

he opened his one eye and the first thing he saw was your back, there were a space between you and him.

is it always this far? are you always this far from him? toji doesn't know. he tried to reach for you but he stopped himself. and then again, another apology had slipped on his mind. he couldn't say it back, not when he swore to only say those words to the person he loves.

toji finally closed his eyes as the sleepiness take over his body. he knew that the one for you, who'll cherish you, love you like how you deserve it will eventually come and toji was already certain that it wasn't him.

it was really true that first love never dies now that you've experienced it and toji was enough proof. you couldn't stop loving him the way he couldn't stop loving his past wife. how can you even wish someone to just die when they're already dead? it was weird but were you too cruel for that?

you just hope that someday, toji will look at you the way you've always been wanting and craving. you'll wait, even if your and his hair turns white or even if you only have enough time to live.

-

"just this once?" you whispered as toji held your cold hands as he placed it on his cheek.

toji closed his eyes as he placed your hand back on the bed, hospital bed.

"i'm really sorry.." he whispered back and it was enough for you to hear it.

a small laugh left your lips. it's so hard even to laugh now.

"that's fine, at least thank you for being here."

"i'll say it if you want."

"don't say something you don't mean, toji." you smiled at him.

"yeah, i guess so."

-

you sit up from the bed as you wake up. it was just dream, but it felt to real for it to be a dream.

you couldn't help but cry as you cover your mouth as you felt a hand on your back.

"what's wrong? another nightmare?" toji asked. even in your dreams, in your death bed, toji still didn't love you. even in your deathbed, toji still couldn't love you the way you wanted it. maybe it was sign that toji doesn't have to know your condition.

he doesn't need to know.

"it's nothing, let's go back to sleep?"

-

you went out again. toji heard you talking to someone on the phone, he guessed it was choso. he didn't mean to follow you but he still did.

toji ended up following you on a hospital and he was confused. are you sick? toji asked himself, but you always looked fine.

he anxiously tap his finger on the steering as he waited for you on his car and it took you more than 30 minutes to finally come out of the hospital again.

why does that doctor have to send you out? even placing his hand on your back.

toji watched you enter your car. he waited for you to leave before going out of his car to enter inside the hospital.

he was hesitant as he finally arrived the front desk.

he cleared his throat as he faced the lady infront.

"is there a patient named (name)?"

"(name)?" the nurse repeated as she looked down the lists but your name wasn't there. "i'm so sorry but there is no patient named y/n here."

"ah, mr. fushiguro. did (name) send you here?" toji turned around at the voice and he was met with the same doctor he saw outside the hospital. toji's eyebrow furrowed as he fully faced him. "i'm choso by the way, y/n's doctor. i guess she already told you?"

-

"mama?" you heard as you enter the front door.

megumi approached you as he embraced you.

"did you just woke up?" you asked as both of you went back to the living room.

"a while ago.."

"where's your papa?"

"i woke up when he left."

"he left? but he said it's his day off today." you mumbled as you recalled his words. "anyway, what do you want for breakfast, gumi?"

-

as toji entered the house, yours and megumi's muffled voice can be heard at the front door. it looked like you and megumi is having fun. toji finally entered the kitchen and saw you with megumi baking a cupcake.

"papa!" megumi exclaimed as he jumped down the stool to approach his father, the icing on megumi's clothes being transferred to toji's clean ones.

"welcome back, toji. where have you been?" you asked and it suddenly smelled like cigarettes.

she looks fine. toji thought, but he was trying to stare at you as if it'll reveal something.

"toji?" you called him with concern as he snapped out of his thoughts.

"just went out. who's that for?"

"mama said she wants to try baking!" megumi answered.

"is that so?" toji said as megumi hummed in response.

toji looked at you once again, but his stare was making you uncomfortable. there's something weird about the way he looks at you and it was scaring you.

"i'll rest for a bit." toji said as he left the kitchen.

"mama, did you and papa fight?" megumi asked as he approached you.

"no megumi, he's just tired." you smiled down at megumi to reassure him and he warmly returned your smile.

toji didn't left the room that day.

you lay down beside him, still minding the space with both of your backs facing each other.

you heard shuffling behind you but you paid no mind to it. and when you turned your body to the other side, you were surprised to come face to face with toji.

"hey." you started as you slightly move back to create more space. "are you not hungry? there's still left over from the kitchen.

"i'm fine." toji replied with a low voice as you nod at his words.

"good night, toji." you said as you went back to face the other side again.

you were waiting for his reply but minute passed, he was still silent so you took a deep breath and sighed while closing your eyes. but the moment you closed your eyes, you felt him move close to you. he tucked his arms below your body and then the other above you as he easily pulled you close to him.

"good night." he replied as you look up at him with shock. did he just initiate a physical touch? he's not drunk, right?

"mhm." you simply replied, still surprised. toji didn't move away after that, he stayed still and so were you.

"are you drunk?" you asked that made toji open his eyes.

"i'm not. why asking?"

"well, it's- is this okay with you?" you asked and your voice was too small that toji almost didn't catch it.

you were out of words. it was weird for toji to act this way, especially when he's not even drunk. does he need something from you?

it hurts to think that he's only being affectionate because he needs something from you. either way, you'll still do what he'll ask you because you love him.

"are you not comfortable with it?" the way you immediately stopped him when he was about to remove his arms around you was a desperate move, but you didn't want to lose this chance because it might not happen again.

"no, i like it.. it's just, we've never done this before, shouldn't you be the one who's uncomfortable with this? i mean-"

"shh, let's just stay like this." toji murmured as he pulled you a little more close to him. his warm breath fanning on your neck.

you smiled but if felt like something was missing. you felt complete but at the same time you're not. you placed your hands on top of toji's that was around you as you give it a light squeeze.

"toji." you called his name in a whispered tone as you heard him hummed in response. "i'm not her, toji."

you didn't know why you even said those words. toji was hugging you but there were possibilities of him thinking his wife on you. because why would he suddenly do this if not for that?

as those words left your mouth, the warm presence that was comforting you suddenly disappeared. you weren't even surprised when he did that, just a tiny bit of ache in your heart.

heh, i knew it. but it's fine, i still loved it. you thought to yourself as you ended up curling your own body again, seeking for the comfort that was there just a while ago.

maybe someday, toji will hug you again, but that time, you hope he'll do it as him thinking of you, not while thinking of his deceased wife.

-

"i'm choso by the way, (name)'s doctor. i guess she already told you?"

"hah?" toji rasped in confusion as he looked at choso. so this was choso and he's a doctor.

not bad. toji thought.

"then why are you here, mr. fushiguro? your wife left just 5 minutes ago."

"i know." toji replied.

choso raised his eyebrow at the man in front of him.

"do you perhaps need something from me?" choso couldn't help but ask because the way toji looked at him was different.

"yes, i want to talk to you."

both of them ended outside the hospital where there were no people around.

-

toji slammed his hand on the wall, slightly embarrassed as he watch the doctor laugh in front of him.

"what's funny." toji rasped.

"sorry, sorry-" choso replied as he pants, he never had a good laugh these days. "mr. fushiguro, are you assuming that your wife is having an affair with me?"

"i didn't mean it that way, i was just asking if you and (name) have something."

"mr. fushiguro, ms. (name) is just my patient, i'm sorry if it came off that way." choso said as he leaned his back on the wall. "plus i know my boundaries, i wouldn't go with a married woman, y'know." toji calmed his body as he leaned his back on the wall like choso did.

"she's always talking to you on the phone, that's why i assumed."

"(name) told me a lot about you."

"i'm hoping it's the good ones."

"not even once your wife badmouthed you, mister." choso replied as he offered toji a cigarette to which he declined.

"she's not sick, is she?" toji asked.

"mhm, your wife was diagnosed with arrhythmia."

"arrhythmia?" toji faced choso at his words.

"her heartbeat is irregular, mr.fushiguro. are you not taking a good care of your wife?" choso tried to joke him but he didn't expect toji to stay silent. "well, i hope she's not lying when she said she doesn't smoke and drink?"

"no, she doesn't." toji said.

"anxiety or any emotional distress can cause this. are you perhaps having a lot of fight? her condition has been like this for a long time now."

"no, we don't fight." toji said "is it harming her that much?" toji asked

"for now, it's not. but if she doesn't take a good care of herself, it may lead to a heart failure."

"how to avoid this?" choso looked at toji in disbelief. did you seriously kept it a secret to your husband?

-

"toji." you called him as he was about to leave the house. "i'm sorry about last night." you said.

you frowned as you heard the front door close. toji was ignoring you. you felt guilty for saying those words last night but you just couldn't hold back anymore. it was hurting you. why would you say that when toji only wanted to be close with you?

you sighed in defeat as you turn around, continuing the dishes you were doing.

you knew how toji hated it when it's about his wife, yet you still brought it up.

-

"toji!" you scolded.

it was yet another night where he came home drunk, you're almost starting to get used of this scenario.

"i said don't touch me!" he yelled back as you stumbled back a bit from the force of his push.

you were getting scared. not even once toji had yelled at you, this was the first time. was the words you said really did have an impact to him? now you feel more guilty than you were. you were scared that toji would start looking at you the way your family did.

only because of the stupid words you said.

"toji." you said in a more calmer tone as you guide him on his feet.

"let go." he mumbled.

"i will. let's go to the room first, okay?" you sighed in relief when toji did what you said without saying anything.

"mama.." toji's voice must've woke megumi up as he look at you with concerned eyes.

toji shrugged his shoulders to remove your hand on his shoulders as he kneeled infront of megumi.

"megumi, mama's not here anymore." toji said.

you were taken aback but megumi was more surprised than you were that he started crying.

he was pushing toji away from him as he cry.

"i hate you!" megumi yelled as he finally free himself from toji and hugged your leg.

"it's okay, 'gumi. go back to sleep." you said as you kneeled on megumi's level while he cried in your shirt.

toji stood up by himself as he entered your shared bedroom, closing the door with a force as you flinch in surprise.

"mama." megumi cried.

"it's fine now, he's just tired."

"you say that a lot of times." megumi said as he wiped his tears. "let's sleep together, mama." you look at your room door as you nod at megumi.

maybe toji needs to have his time alone for now.

-

you were humming a lullaby as you sing megumi to sleep.

you already sang the lullaby 3 times already and just like you, megumi couldn't sleep at all. he knew you were crying but he decided to not talk to you.

megumi pretended to be asleep as you finally stopped humming.

he heard you took a deep breath as you pulled his small body close to you.

"night night, 'gumi." he heard you whispered as he felt the dip on his bed beside him disappear.

megumi squinted his eyes and saw you walking out of his room as the door finally closed leaving him inside his now dark room.

megumi sat up from his bed as he silently followed you.

he was tiptoeing as he followed you to the kitchen.

you were sitting there, a glass of water between your hands as you stare at nothing.

you were too drained as you wiped the remaining tears your eyes could release.

megumi was lost in his thoughts and didn't hear you walking on his way, but before you could caught him, he showed himself to you.

"megumi?" you called him, slightly surprised at his presence. "what's wrong?"

"um water, mama." he said as he noticed you smile a bit before giving him a glass of water.

-

"all good?" you asked as megumi tucked you and himself on the blanket as he hug you. he nods in response as he sighed in content.

"mama, i will tell papa tomorrow to say sorry." he said.

"it's fine, 'gumi. he's just tired and mama understands." you said as you brushed megumi's hair with your fingers.

"okay, i love you mama."

"i love you too, now go back to sleep you have school tomorrow."

-

when megumi woke up the next morning, you were still sleeping beside him. he kissed your tear stained cheek as he went out to start his day.

he found his father on the kitchen counter, holding his head with his hand.

toji noticed megumi's presence as he immediately approached his son.

"where's your mama?" toji asked as he placed his hands on megumi's shoulders.

megumi noticed that his father was restless, but he deserved it for yelling at you last night.

"say sorry to mama, papa." megumi said.

"ha? where's she?"

"in my room. mama was crying because of you!" megumi yelled, he almost wanted to cry as he recalled your unreadable expression last night. "i saw mama drink so many medicine, papa." megumi muttered.

toji massaged his temples as he made his way to megumi's room with megumi following behind.

toji slowly opened the door and sighed in relief as he finally saw you.

megumi's small blanket couldn't even cover your whole body as toji approached you and gently carried you to the bed, transferring you to your shared room.

"let's not wake up mama for now." toji said as he pats megumi's head. "i'll drive you to school."

-

"papa." megumi called as he fixed the seatbelt of the front seat. toji hummed in response as he waited for the street lights to turn green. "do you hate mama?" megumi was hesitant at his question.

"no." toji responded plainly.

"but you always make mama cry." megumi mumbled. "you always say that she's not my mama and it's hurting her. i always see mama cry, i just stay quiet." toji ignored his son as he started driving.

-

toji went back home after sending megumi to school and you were still sleeping.

he sat on the bed as he tried to recall anything that has happened last night but he couldn't remember anything.

he felt you moved as he look at you. you were finally awake.

you saw him as you sit up from the bed.

"good morning." you greeted as you rubbed your eyes.

toji was waiting for you to say something about last night but you didn't and instead smiled at him as you stretched your body.

"megumi!" you exclaimed as you realized that you were supposed to send him to school.

"i already drove him to school."

"ah really? thank you." you said as you finally relaxed your body. "then, what do you want for breakfast?"

-

has it been always like this? toji asked himself as he watched you prepare breakfast.

is it always like this the next day when he came home every night he's drunk?

you were all smile but this was the first time toji noticed that it was forced. is it really always like this?

toji wasn't the one to get nervous but when he recalled the nights he came home drunk, he couldn't recall anything.

he must've said or did something hurtful to you that you do not wish to tell him the next morning.

megumi was always a witness to it but you always tell him to stay quiet.

"i'll go out later." you said as he snapped out of his thoughts.

"okay. want me to accompany you?" toji noticed the way you immediately declined his request and there, he exactly knew where you're headed.

toji watched you drink the hot chocolate in your mug.

"(name)." he called.

"mh?"

"i'm sorry. if i ever did something last night."

not just last night, every time he comes home drunk, toji would say something hurtful and you were even convinced that he means some of it.

the first time he came home drunk, he told you he couldn't love you the way you love him and that was fine for you. but second time he came home drunk, he said the words i love you, but it wasn't for you. he said i love you but not your name in it. the third night he came home drunk, he compared you to his wife saying that you couldn't replace the role of being megumi's mother and you know that.

megumi was there and he cried with you saying that he loves you and don't listen to what his father said to you. but then it happened again. he watch his father get mad at everything, including you, his mother who just wanted to help him get to bed. he knew his father wasn't in his right mind because he was drunk. he cried with you again that night.

megumi got used to seeing you hiding your sobs from him. he already saw you cry silently or sometimes you just sit there to stare at nothing. megumi once caught you breathing heavily on the bathroom and there was a blood on the sink. you told him that it was nothing and megumi was just a kid, of course he would believe you that it was just nothing.

but as megumi continues to grow, he's starting to think that his father hates you. he started observing the two of you and there was nothing wrong with your relationship, except when his father is drunk. don't get megumi wrong, he still loves her real mother but you were the one who raised him. he haven't seen his mother once, only in pictures.

"(name)?" you snapped out of your thoughts as you looked from your plate to toji.

"i said i'm sorry." he said.

"it's fine, you were drunk."

"so i did said something, huh." toji cursed under his breath as he heard you laugh.

"don't worry, it's not that deep."

it was. but remembering it will only hurt you more.

you've been having nightmares these days and you don't know if it's a sign for something. every dream you had was weird. there were times where toji would appear in your dreams. sometimes he hates you and sometimes, he loves you that you don't even want to wake up anymore.

you were currently sitting inside a hospital room as choso stood meters away from you.

"are you even taking a rest like i told you to?"

"yes."

"then why is your condition getting worse?" choso's words made you look at him, he was writing something on a paper.

"really?"

"really. (name), i am telling you this now, you'll suffer the consequences if you don't listen to me."

"but i do take rest."

"taking rest isn't enough, you should avoid your heart from getting tired. have you experienced panic attack these past few weeks?"

"n-no."

"you're lying."

"i'm not."

"your husband's worried, you know." you don't know why choso words made your heart clench, but you just hope his words were true.

"really?" you said as if you weren't convinced. choso looks at you and back at the paper as he sighed.

"i'll add another medicine, make sure to take it on time."

"why do we have to do these things?" you said as choso looked up from the paper to you.

"what do you mean?" choso asked as he raised his eyebrow at you.

"i mean, isn't better to just wait until it's over?" choso got silent, clearly surprised at the words you said. you noticed his reaction as you released a nervous laugh. "what am i even saying.." you said as you laughed at yourself.

"are you even hearing yourself?"

"i know what i said, choso. but don't worry, i was just joking."

"not a funny one. you just don't know it (name) but your husband's really worried."

"if you think your words would calm me, it's not working."

"huh?" you stood up from the seat before choso could say something.

"i guess we're already done here?" you said as choso nods.

"(name). take a proper rest."

-

you fell asleep the moment you got home and when you went downstairs, it was messy.

the television was on full volume and megumi was nowhere to be seen. toji was on the kitchen sleeping, there was a consumed bottle of liquor beside him.

"toji." you shake him to wake him up but it didn't work at first try so you did it again.

he was awake all of the sudden as he look around the kitchen. toji was drunk again as you thought of the things that happens every night he came home drunk. you hope he would just stay silent and wouldn't say anything anymore.

"let's get you to bed." you said as you helped him stand up but before you and toji reached the room, you fell on the floor as you entered the room. and the scene was so familiar to you.

"(name)." he called as you snapped out of the memory. "(nameee)." he called again.

"i'm here." you said.

"you're here?" he said as he touched your face as if he doesn't believe you. "you're really here." he said as he smiled and embraced you.

and you, you were taken aback, but you just let him.

"why did you leave me?" he said.

there he goes again.

"hey, look at me." he said as he held your cheeks with his thumb and pointer finger.

why does looking at him hurts.

"don't ever think that i don't love you, okay? i'm so grateful that you're here.." you were waiting for it. for him to call his wife's name but you didn't expect that he'll say yours. "if i started loving you, are you going to stay?" he said and you were speechless. "i'm sick of people leaving me." he mumbled as he embraced you. "i don't want you to leave. i promise, i'll love you like how you want it. i'll do it, i'll move on from her but in exchange, don't ever leave, okay? we'll heal you, you'll be fine."

what was he even talking about? it's not like your leaving or something, right?

you sighed, brushing off his words as you placed him on the bed.

"don't force yourself to love someone, toji. go to sleep, i'll look for megumi."

-

you were about to leave the house as you heard sobs coming from the house. and when you followed the sound, you were surprised to see megumi who tucked himself at a kitchen cabinet.

"mama!" he said as he embraced you.

"megumi, what are you doing inside the cabinet?"

"i'm hiding." he frowned as you wiped his tears.

"from who?" you said with a soft voice to calm him.

"mama.." megumi mumbled as his voice slightly cracked. "papa said you'll leave us."

"he said that?" you said as you kneeled into his level and he nods at your question. "he's lying." you said as megumi sighed in relief and embraced you once again.

"papa said you'll leave just like my real mama." megumi pulled away from the hug as he saw your surprised expression. "it's not true, right? mama."

your forced a smile as you pinched megumi's cheeks.

"of course, mama won't leave. never."

"toji, can you drive megumi to school today?" you muttered as you saw toji who was about to leave the room.

"what was that?" toji asked as he closed the door once again and approached you. you sit up from the bed and your vision started to spin.

"bring megumi to school." you said followed with a small cough.

"yeah sure." he hesitantly said.

"thanks." you mumbled as you lay back down on the bed.

"you okay?" toji asked as you felt him sit on the bed.

"i'm fine, must be a fever." you said but toji wasn't convinced and placed the back of his palm on your forehead to your neck and you were burning. toji was about to say something but he felt your cold hands on his.

"i'm fine, don't worry." you assured him with a smile as you let go of his hand and faced the other side. you were burning but your hands were too cold.

"i'll be back." toji said, immediately leaving the room as you heard the doorknob clicked.

-

toji was back after sending megumi to school. megumi insisted on seeing you before leaving but if he found out you're sick, toji knew megumi wouldn't want to go to school anymore. you weren't in the room when toji entered.

he started looking for you around the house and the kitchen was the last place he expected to see you. he sighed in relief when he saw you sleeping on the table with a glass of water in your right hand. toji's eybrows furrowed as he silently approached you. he can hear your soft snores as he went closer and closer.

"(name)?" he said in a whispered tone and you woke up within a second as you look around.

"oh?" was the only word you let out as you felt toji's hands on your shoulders. "i fell asleep."

"what are you doing here?" he said as you tried to stand up but you failed. you don't have the energy even to stand up.

"i got thirsty but i got tired before i even drink water." you said as you finally drink the glass of water.

"you should see a doctor." toji suggested.

"i'm finee." you said as you let toji guide you back to the room.

slowly, you sit from the bed as toji helped you to lay down. he placed a blanket above your body and went straight to the bathroom inside the room. he went back with a wet towel and a bucket of water as he started wiping your face with it.

"thank you." you whispered, even your throat was hurting. toji didn't respond as he continued on his task and after that, toji took another towel and placed it above your head.

"toji." you called as he stopped at the door he just opened.

'can you stay please?'

how badly you wanted to ask him to stay with you, but the dreams you had before started replaying in your mind. maybe you shouldn't. "it's nothing." you said as you pulled the blanket above your chin.

toji seemed to notice your distress as he silently closed the door and approached you again.

"i will be back. i'll just buy you food." he said as you covered your whole body with the blanket.

"okay." you said and you couldn't stop yourself from smiling.

do you have to be sick for toji to look out for you? maybe being sick is not that bad after all.

toji came back after five minutes, it's not that you're counting though, you were just bored.

"where did you go?" you asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"i'll just order, what do you want- i mean, you can't eat anything for now, let's just order a soup." toji looked at you as he heard you laugh at his words.

"there's no need, toji. it's not that hard to cook a soup." you said as you sit up from the bed, only for toji to push you back down on the bed as you let him place the blanket above you.

"don't be stubborn."

"toji, don't tell me you can't cook a soup." you said.

"it's not like that, okay? i just-" he paused for a moment before turning his back on you. "you seemed like you want a some company, that's why i am here." he said.

speechless, that's how you describe yourself now.

"is that so?" you said as you watch him scratch his head.

"i'll do this on my own way, okay?"

"okay. but let me, i know exactly where to order a good soup."

-

"this looks plain as hell." toji said as he opened the soup you ordered.

"but it's delicious, and why are you complaining?" you said as you raised your eyebrow at him. "i'm the one who's gonna eat it, not you!" you exclaimed as toji huffed in response.

toji started pouring the soup on a bowl before placing a chair beside the bed. and for a moment, you look at him and he looks at you.

"it's fine, i can do it myself." you said, trying to reach the bowl on his hand but he moved it slightly away from your reach. he hesitated for a moment before taking the spoon on his finger.

"ahh." he instructed.

"toji, this is embarrassing." you muttered as you move away from the spoon.

"how are you gonna get better if you're being stubborn?"

"just let me!!"

"tch, let me handle this." he said as you, again, tried to take the spoon from him but it was useless so you did what he said as he slowly placed the spoon with soup in your mouth.

it was quiet as toji continues to feed you, until it's the last spoon of the soup, you suddenly let out a cough as the soup dripped from the corner of your mouth and to the duvet.

"oh." you mumbled as toji reached out for the tissues. "sorry." you mumbled as you started to wipe the soup on the blanket and then the corner of your mouth. "we have to change blankets, i guess."

it was too sudden that you didn't have time to process everything when toji leaned close to you. you can feel his hot breath on your cheek as he pressed his lips on the corner of your lips, with him tasting the soup he just fed you.

you were sure you were losing your breath as he pulled away as if nothing happened.

"ah, sorry." he said as if he just didn't kiss you. he started to gather the paper bag of the soup earlier and took the blanket on your hands. "i'll get a new one." he said as he finally left the room.

-

why is he acting so normal when you're there sitting on the bed, trying to calm your speeding heart at the moments earlier.

you cursed under your breath as you hide your face with your palms.

why are you even embarrassed when kissing is normal to a married couple? it was normal but it was unusual for toji to act like that, you haven't even hold hands with him but a kiss? that's way more unexpected.

-

toji gently closed the door of the room as he leaned his weight on it.

"fuck." he muttered as he clutched the blanket on his hand.

seeing you wipe the soup on the blanket with that smile on your face urge toji to do that. he himself didn't expect it too. he cursed once again before proceeding to the task in hand.

-

you were startled when the door opens.

it was toji carrying a new blanket.

"i'll pick up megumi soon." he said.

"what about your work?"

"i took a day off." you hoped he did because you were sick. "you can't be left alone." he said as if he just read your mind.

"oh. thank you."

"not a problem. make sure to do the same when i got sick too." he joked, but it didn't fail to put a smile on your face.

"of course, i would love too! but i'm not saying that i want you to get sick!"

-

"mama!" you can hear megumi's voice from afar as he finally entered your room, throwing his lunchbox bag somewhere as he approached you.

"megumi, don't get to close." you said.

"mama! are you okay?"

"megumi, stop yelling." toji said as he entered the room, picking up megumi's lunchbox bag he threw minutes ago.

"you said mama is not sick!"

"megumi, don't yell at your papa." you said as megumi finally faced you, his face turning into a frown as he faced his father once again.

"i'm sorry, papa." he muttered.

toji was impressed that you could make megumi easily obey you. a thing he couldn't do when megumi was 3 years old.

"come on, change into your home clothes." toji said as he carried megumi like a sack of rice.

"i'll be back, mama!" he said before he and toji disappeared from your view and toji came back after a minute before closing the door with a sigh.

"come and rest." you said as you pat the empty space beside you.

toji sat beside you as the surroundings became quiet. he cleared his throat as he took the plushie megumi bought you and squeezed it.

"i'm sorry." he said.

"why?" you said, completely confused at the apology he just uttered.

"earlier. i didn't mean it."

oh.

"w-well, it's fine." you said as you conceal your stutter with a cough. "it's not like i'm complaining.."

"ha?"

"i mean- don't get the wrong idea!" you said, trying to find the right words. do you say it's okay, i liked it? or it's okay, i enjoyed it? "but.. did you regret it?" you asked, and the tension suddenly became heavy.

he was quiet and must be thinking about it.

"i did-" he paused, and that small pause sure made you nervous. "not?.." toji said in a questioning manner. you felt nervous and relieved at the same time.

"what about you?" he asked and you were more than confident at your answer.

"no. if i'm being honest, i really.. liked it." the last sentence were whispered.

"was that your first kiss?" he asked and you only hummed in response. it was true that toji was your first kiss, even if it was just a peck, his lips still touched yours.

you felt toji shift on the bed as he faced you.

"come closer." he said and you hesitated for a bit as you finally faced him and crawled a bit closer to him.

you were looking anywhere but his eyes as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. and then he's leaning close again.

"tell me to stop and i will." he mumbled, forcing you to look in his dark blue eyes.

"toji, are you sure about this?" you mumbled as you clutched your pajamas under the blanket. "don't do something you'll regret, toji."

he cuts you off by finally kissing you and it wasn't just a peck like you expected it.

he continued and deepened the kiss, until you're laying on the bed and when he finally pulled away, his hands was between your head as you clutch his clothes on his shoulders.

"toji-"

"shh.. i do not regret any of it."

"i need to confine you for 15 days, so i could monitor you properly."

"but i am resting!"

"yes you are, but it's not enough. it's better if it's being observed that you're taking a rest."

"is there another way?" you said as you clutch your phone in your hand. "i actually don't know how to tell my husband." you said as choso looked at you.

"but i already called him. he said he's on his way here."

"huh, what do you mean?" you said, completely surprised that it made you stand up from the chair. "he doesn't even know that i am sick." you said. "choso, i told you to keep it a secret right?"

"i'm sorry, he accused us of having an affair. i needed to." and then there was a knock on the door, and you knew who exactly it is. toji entered the room and you look away from him.

"take a sit, mr. fushiguro." choso said as he instructed him to sit beside you. you weren't looking at him but you can feel toji's burning gaze at you. choso left the room for a moment and being alone with toji became suffocating right now.

you suddenly felt his hand above yours. you thought he would judge or even get mad at you but you but he didn't.

"we'll talk later, okay?" he said as choso finally came back.

-

"15 days? if that's enough. as long as you treat my wife." toji said. he's doing all the talking while you sit there in silence and.. he really did call you his wife.

toji thanked choso after that as he held your hand and pulled you with him. you gave choso a last glance, a glance as if he just betrayed you and he was looking at you with his apologetic gaze, and there, you and toji left the hospital.

"when did you found out?" you asked.

"a few weeks ago. i followed you." toji said as the signal lights turned red and there was a faint sound of music in the background. "why didn't you tell me?" he asked and you hesitated for a moment as you sit up straight on the front seat.

"choso said it wasn't that life threatening, that's why i thought i don't have to tell anyone." you were mumbling that toji almost didn't understand your words.

"not life threatening but now you need to be confined for 15 days?" toji said and you went silent. "do you not trust me?" he suddenly asked and you immediately disagreed at his words.

"no!" you said. "sorry, i just don't want to be a burden and.. i thought you wouldn't care." you said, whispering the last sentence as you wait for his response. and he didn't respond anymore, until both of you reached the house.

"toji, i'm really sorry." you said and he finally looked at you.

"we're in this together, why would you think i wouldn't care?" he asked and you frowned.

"i'm sorry toji. i just didn't have enough courage to tell you because.. it's because of your wife."

"my wife?" he scoffed, raising his eyebrow as you nod.

"i don't know how to tell you because all you could think of is your wife!" you were frantic as you explain, trying not to say the wrong words because it might trigger him in some way as your emotions get the best of you. "i thought you wouldn't care because i'm not her." you said as you look down on the ground, trying to hold the tears that was eager to come out.

"but i do care, this is not about her. this is about you."

"you don't understand it, toji." you said.

"then i apologize if i came of that way, that you thought i wouldn't care because all i think of is my wife." toji said, emphasizing the words with sarcasm. "but you're my wife too, my wife now." he said, the sarcasm dropping on his voice.

"but i'm not the presence you've been wanting for, i know my place, toji. you reminded me a lot of times already." you said.

when did talking about your illness turned into fighting over his deceased wife?

toji sighed at your response and you took a step back when he stepped forward.

"i'm sorry, i want to be alone for now." you mumbled as you went to your shared room.

you and him were fine just last night? what happened now? it was all because of your stubbornness. it was obvious that toji was worried and cares for you but you're pushing him away.

you couldn't help it, you aren't used at him caring for you. you're mistaking his kindness into something, that maybe he's saying all of it out of pity or guilt.

that's right, now you realized why toji was weird the past few weeks. it's because he already found out and he just didn't tell you.

-

toji forced the door open with a key and he saw you sitting at the edge of the bed. you didn't even notice him until he sat beside you.

"i'm sorry." you said at the same time.

"sorry, i involved her again." you said as you felt toji's hand at your back.

"i didn't know you felt that way." he said.

"it's okay. i know how hard it is to move on from someone." you said as you held his free hand. "this will be the last time, toji." you said.

"what do you mean?" he asked.

"i'm not dying." you said with a laugh. "what i mean is this will be the last time i'll involve her. i finally realized it, toji. that no matter what i do, i still couldn't do anything for you to love me the way i love you." toji was about to say something but you cut him off. "but it's fine! like you said, we're married only in papers. i think i'm getting it now."

he was silent and you felt his touch disappear on your back.

"i just want to sort everything out before i stay in the hospital for 15 days." you mumbled as you sighed deeply. "sooo, friends then?" you said, the same exact words he told you before you two got married by force. but you saying it hit something in him, it made his chest ache.

he felt your hand take his and shake it, as if both of you just had an agreement. you didn't even wait for his reply as you finally sit up from the bed and started packing some clothes you'll be needing and he could only watch.

-

"don't worry, it'll only be 15 days. mr. fushiguro can still visit everyday but only around 10 AM to 5 PM." choso said as he glanced at your way.

"choso, did you know there was a theory that being hospitalized will only worsen your state. what if that happens to me?" you said.

"that's a lie, you're here not to worsen your state but to heal you."

"but what if? you know, everything is unexpected."

"why'd you even ask?"

"i don't know. i guess i'm ready?" you said and choso was looking at you with his judging expression. "just kidding." you said as you laugh.

"think of the people who cares for you. be strong for them because they're waiting for you to come home." choso said and megumi was the only person you could think of.

"my son." you said with a smile.

"yes, megumi's waiting for you so stop with your negative thoughts."

"ok, i will."

-

"mama!" your mood shifted as you heard megumi and he finally entered the room.

he was on his school uniform as he approached you, his upper body leaning on the bed as he tried to reach for you. you leaned close to him as megumi's small hands held you by your cheeks.

"mama, why are you here?" he asked as he frowned.

"mama needs to stay here for now but don't worry."

"why?"

"megumi, don't ask too many questions." toji said.

"it's fine." you said.

toji was watching you and his son interact.

megumi was still mad at him but megumi just didn't show you. toji mentally slapped himself as he recalled the happenings yesterday.

it was megumi frantically looking for you around the house.

-

megumi was running around the house as he call for you.

"where's mama?" he asked toji as he pants.

"she'll be staying at the hospital for now." toji said.

"why? is mama sick?" megumi said as he approached his father who's ignoring his question. "papa!"

"megumi, you won't understand. and yes mama is sick. now stop asking."

"why is mama sick!" megumi yelled, asking questions, eager to know the answers.

"she needs her heart to be healed. there, now go to your room megumi, you have school tomorrow."

"heart?" megumi muttered as he forced himself on his father's sight as toji sighed. "it's all your fault!" megumi yelled and toji ignored him. "you always make mama cry! now her heart is sad because of you! you always get mad at mama when you come home drunk!"

"what did you say?" toji said as he held megumi by his shoulders.

"i hate you! i wish it's you in the hospital not mama!" megumi said before he could even realize his words as toji let go of megumi. toji sat back on the couch and megumi ran out of the living room.

megumi cried to his sleep as he craved for your presence.

-

megumi was laying on top of you as you lull him to sleep.

"say sorry to your papa later, okay?" you said as megumi sniffed before nodding.

toji went to buy foods outside as megumi told you everything he said last night.

"it's not your papa's fault why i am here. remember that."

"mama get home soon, okay?"

"of course." you said as you pinch his nose. "stop crying now."

after some minutes, toji finally came back as you and megumi ate the food he bought.

-

megumi sat at the back seat as he hug his knees.

"i'm sorry, papa." he mumbled. "mama told me what i said is bad. i'm sorry." toji kept quiet as he drives.

he carried megumi who fell asleep at the back seat to his room, giving him a kiss on the forehead before leaving.

toji thought megumi was right, that maybe it was better that it was him in the hospital and not you. he didn't want to lose anyone anymore and toji hoped that he isn't too late.

he was blaming himself.

he already considered himself as a curse, because if he started to love someone, something bad will happen to them. worst is they disappear from his life.

is it a right choice to finally love you?

maybe not.

first week of your stay in hospital wasn't that boring as you thought it would be.

toji would visit you at the starting hours and will bring megumi from school at the last hour, though megumi always sleep on top of you since he wanted to be close to you.

toji would sit there in silence as you hum megumi a lullaby he once heard his son humming while doing his assignments.

toji knew megumi were attached to you but he didn't knew he's that attached to the point that megumi always cry every night, looking for you and will end up sleeping beside toji occupying the space you usually lay at.

"mama, i counted and it's 8." megumi said as he sat on the hospital bed beside you.

"that's right, 7 days more and mama can go home."

"but 7 days is too long." megumi said as he frowned.

"it's not if you stop focusing on it."

"okay, i will not!" you and megumi laughed at the same time and he kneeled towards you as he started wiping your under eyes with his thumb.

"mama, are you sleeping enough?" megumi asked.

"i am. it's just so boring here when i'm alone." you said as megumi embraced you.

"don't worry, mama. i will pray so you can go back home."

"thank you, 'gumi."

"mama." megumi whispered after a minute of silence as you hummed in response.

"papa is not sleeping well." megumi said as he look around as if someone was there to listen but it was just you and him since toji left when someone called him.

"why?" you asked.

"papa misses you, mama."

"he does?" you said as megumi frantically nods.

"he said it to me!" megumi exclaimed excitedly.

-

megumi was sitting on the kitchen stool as he stared at the cereal on the table.

he hates cereal, he loves the food you cook for him but since you weren't around, he needed to eat it for now.

"stop crying megumi. she'll be back soon." toji said as he drink his black coffee.

megumi wiped his tears as he sniffed.

"i miss mama." megumi mumbled followed by another sniff and toji sighed as he sat beside his son.

"i miss mama too but don't worry, okay? let's have faith and be strong for her too."

"okay. but papa if mama is back you better not make her heart sad again." megumi said as he waited for his father's response and minutes passed, he noticed his father was spacing out. "papa?"

"oh?" toji snapped out of his thoughts as he smiled at megumi. "of course."

-

"bye bye mama." megumi said as he look away from you and you knew he was holding his tears back.

"come here." you said as he slowly approached you. "don't cry, you'll be back tomorrow, right?" megumi nods as he wiped his eyes with his sleeves. "bye bye." you said as you kissed his forehead before he went back beside toji as he held toji's hand.

you made an eye contact with toji "see you?" you said and he only nod in response.

why are you expecting something when you and toji already settled everything as friends.

toji looked at you for the last time before he and megumi left the room, leaving you alone again.

what are you even expecting? it's not like he would do something.

you just hope that he did something though. maybe a kiss on your forehead? or just a simple words of affirmation, but nevermind.

you sighed as you hug your knees, you should stop thinking about something that'll hurt your own feelings, you didn't want to worsen your state more, do you?

as if it was a coincidence, choso entered the room with papers in his hand.

"hi." you greeted as choso entered the room.

"how are you feeling?"

"nice, i guess?"

"good job, there's a lot of progress." he said.

"wow really?!" you said excitedly.

"yes, you don't have to stay for another 7 days. did your husband left already?"

"they just left."

"call them back so you could finally go home with them."

-

"mama, do you hate papa?" megumi suddenly asked as he looked up at you, both of you laying on the couch with book in your hand.

"why are you asking that question? of course i don't."

"really? but why do you and papa always fight?"

"we aren't fighting, megumi. that nights you saw him getting mad was because he wasn't in his right mind and he was drunk."

"oh, okay." megumi said as he lay down back on your chest as you started playing with his hair again.

"i love your papa so much, 'gumi. more than i love myself." you whispered as you smile.

-

toji is currently helping you with the laundry since he couldn't force you enough to take a rest.

"take a rest." toji said for the nth time as you wait for the laundry to finish.

"i'll just finish this." you said.

toji sighed, another attempt to force you failed and he could only wait for you.

he was getting impatient as he stand just at the door. he couldn't leave you alone, he's worried something might happen if he lose sight of you.

the same lullaby you're humming for megumi can be heard at the background as he watch you attentively.

but a sudden gasp left your mouth, your humming getting interrupted as you felt him hug you from behind.

"just take a rest." toji said.

"i'm almost finished." you said, an unexplainable feeling stirring in your system. it was as if you're uncomfortable at the physical touch he just initiated.

weren't you craving for his touch? now that he did it, why are you complaining?

"come on. i'll finish that. listen to your doctor, will you?" toji said as he held you by the wrist and pulled you going to the room.

"do you know what you'll do?"

"yeah, i do the laundry before." he said.

"okay, let me know if you're done."

-

you've met toji before, back when you were in middle school. maybe he doesn't remember you but you remember him.

that time when someone was making fun of you, he involved himself and protected you. it wasn't really a fight, it was just him pushing them away that made them run away from the scene.

"thank you." you mumbled and when he looked back at you, you noticed a band aid on the side of his mouth that was already red in color. he only looked at you as he walked away. but before he could get away, you held him by his hand. he made an irritated expression that scared you for a moment as you stutter through your words.

"i have a band aid here." you said as you look at each pocket of your clothes until you found it in your hoodie. toji was watching with an unimpressed look as he stand awkwardly. he hissed in pain when you removed the band aid from his lip and replaced it with a new one.

"there." you said. he didn't even thanked you as he left and when toji saw his reflection on a random store, the design of the band aid was really, embarrassing.. a hello kitty design.

-

you were at the middle of college when your parents told you to stop. they had arranged a marriage for you that you didn't even want. you didn't want to stop college, you wanted to be free but they wouldn't let you. when you met your soon to be husband, you thought he was familiar but couldn't place your finger with. you were sure that you saw this man somewhere, you just couldn't recall where.

the scar on the side of his mouth made you curious as you stare at it and it suddenly made toji self-conscious.

"ah this scar?" he said as your eyes shifted from his scar to his eyes. you were on your first 'date' with toji. the one both of your parents said to get to know each other more.

"i got this from abuse." he said straightforwardly as you laugh nervously.

"um.. did it hurt?" you asked.

"no." he said as he placed his hand near his scar and as if something slapped you mentally, toji's current position reminded you of someone. that kid from the playground, the one who defended you from the bullies, the one that you gave the band aid you just bought because you accidentally scraped your knee, but you gave it to him. toji noticed you genuinely smile at him followed with a wholehearted laugh.

"what's wrong?" he asked and you only shake your head in response.

what a coincidence. who would've thought that the kid you kept on searching for, the reason why you stayed at the playground for who knows how long, hoping to see him again was being married to you? what an unexpected turn of your life.

-

getting to know each other means getting to know everything in your life. personal or not. it was as if that 'date' made your heart full and ended up being broken in the end. toji was the kid you've been looking for, for a long time now but then he suddenly told you that he was already married and they had a son together.

he clarified that he only accepted the marriage because he didn't have a choice. he told you he just didn't want to disobey his parents and megumi just need a presence of a mother.

"being friends will do." he said as you hesitantly nod.

-

you didn't even know why you suddenly remembered the past.

"(name), where did you put-" the words died in toji's throat as he opens the door, only to find you standing at one of his drawers, a folder in your hand as you continue to stare at the paper.

the folder was immediately snatched at your hands as toji placed it back on his drawer.

"that's–" you gasped.

"no, listen–" toji mentally cursed himself. he forgot to throw the divorce papers he requested back when it's the first month of your relationship. he forgot to throw it when he was cleaning his drawers the day you were at the hospital

you looked at him, and he hated that look in your face as another curse left his mind. what should he say? how should he explain it.

"well, if that's what you want."

"no." toji said as he moved close to you but your instinct told you to step back and you did. "that was, that wasn't.." he was stuttering through his words as he heard you sigh.

your heart was aching but you have to ease the pain. you didn't want to go back to the hospital again.

"it's fine, toji. you don't have to explain." you said as you sit at the edge of the bed.

"that was before. first month of us being married." toji explained and the small shift of your mood got unnoticed by him.

"is that so?" you said, looking up at him. "maybe i did something you didn't like to ask for divorce papers, huh." you chuckled as you recalled the first month of your marriage. it was megumi finally addressing you as his mother.

toji admitted that day that he didn't want megumi calling you 'mama' but he didn't want to wipe the genuine smile on his son's face so he just let him call you his mother.

"i'm sorry." he said followed by a strong curse.

"why?"

"fuck, i'm sorry. i didn't- that was before. i don't want a divorce now." toji said and the ache in your chest suddenly disappeared as you gave him a teasing grin.

"why? don't tell me mr. fushiguro is finally starting to love me." you joked and it was clearly just a joke, but the tension suddenly changed. he wasn't laughing at your words but was looking straight in your eyes with something in it.

"i'm just joking.." you said as toji finally looked away from you. he couldn't stop cursing mentally. he was lost in his thoughts and didn't feel you moving close to him and when you were about to place a hand on his shoulder, to simply get his attention, he suddenly held you by the wrist.

"toji, what's wrong?" you asked. he started gripping your wrist tightly and both of you were interrupted by the knock on the door.

"papa! lala wants to talk to you on the telephone!" megumi yelled as you look at the door but when you look back at toji, he suddenly leaned close to you, giving your lips a peck, as if it was to reassure you and suddenly he was at the door.

you were frozen in your spot as you watch him close the door, your hand flying to your lips and caress it and instead of an ache, your heart was beating with happiness.

-

it was one of those nights where toji couldn't sleep again. it happens when something is bugging his mind. he was staring at the ceiling with a deadpanned expression and your shifting caught his attention. both of you were surprised when both met each other's eyes.

it suddenly became awkward.

toji sat up from the bed as he leaned his back on the headboard. you stayed at your position as you stare at the ceiling. there are questions that wanted to be answered, but you think staying quiet would be the best option for now.

toji side glanced your figure, and there were space enough for another person to fit. has it always been like this? now toji is sure that it has been always like this.

toji doesn't know what to do as he continuously stare at you until you finally look at him. (his gaze was burning holes into you.)

there, you sat up from the bed too, doing what he did as you cleared your throat to ease some of the awkwardness that was around.

"can't sleep?" he asked.

"yeah, what about you?"

"can't sleep." you chuckled at his response as you bend your knees close to your chest. why is it starting to get cold?

"about the divorce-"

"i already told you that it was before.. i have no intention in pushing the divorce."

"why?" you asked and toji thinks he doesn't even know why. you were itching to know the reason when toji could've pushed through the divorce long ago.

"why? don't tell me mr. fushiguro is finally starting to love me." you recalled those words you said last morning and to your side, it was clearly just a joke so you removed that as one of the reasons why.

"was it because you found out i was sick?"

"no." he felt embarrassed on how quick he disagreed with your question. "i mean-"

"hm, what could be the reason.." you mumbled as if you're talking to yourself and toji couldn't help but observe you.

"it's best if we sleep for now." toji said as you hummed in response and started tucking yourself at the duvet, facing the wall. you weren't even surprised when you felt him pull you close to his chest. it was as if you're expecting him to do that. and he really did and there, you faced him as you wrapped your arms around his figure with your face hiding on his chest. toji inhaled your shampoo as he sighed in satisfaction.

"will this help you to sleep?" you asked as you look up at him. toji looked down at you with that stupid smirk on his face.

"i could ask you the same question." he said as he chuckled when you went back to hide your face on his chest.

"it will." you whispered but toji surely heared it clearly.

"then that goes the same for me."

-

"mama loves to cuddle." megumi said as he looked at toji's plain expression. megumi copied his father's expression after looking away from him, continuing the assignment he was doing.

"that's all?" toji said as megumi scoffed at him.

"you asked me what mama likes the most!" megumi argued as he fully face his father. "that's the most, mama loves cuddles!"

"okay okay, stop yelling." toji said when he heard your footsteps approaching them.

"good morning, mama!" megumi greeted as he ran towards you to hug you.

"good morning, megumi." you said, looking at toji as you nod at him.

"morning." he said as megumi pulled you on the table at the living room, showing his little drawing to you and toji.

"what's that?" you asked as megumi smiled.

"this is mama," megumi said as he pointed at you. "this is papa and this is 'gumi."

oh. it was a family drawing. your heart started beating through your ears as you look at megumi.

"my teacher said our assignment is to draw a family!" megumi exclaimed excitedly as he faced you and toji.

family? could you even consider yourself as one of their family? megumi could've drawn his real mother, why did he have to-

your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a hand on your back. you looked back and saw toji looking at you, it was different, the way his eyes calmed you. you awkwardly smiled at him as he pulled you close to his side while placing his other hand on megumi's shoulder.

"what's this?" toji asked as he pointed at a drawing which is color white and black.

"it's my dream dog! i want white and black." megumi said. your heart was racing as you feel the warmth of toji's palm on your side.

"why is mama carrying a stick?" toji asked as megumi huffed.

"so she can beat you when you hurt her again." megumi said as you laugh, finally joining in their conversation.

"that's cruel, megumi. i couldn't hurt your papa." you didn't even feel when toji already removed his hand on your side as he watch you and megumi, a smile making its way on his face.

-

"there.." you said as you dropped the pencil at the table.

"wow!" megumi exclaimed as you revealed some changes in his drawing.

"what are you holding, mama?" megumi asked.

"roses, mama loves roses." you said as you pat megumi's head.

"oh okay! then 'gumi loves roses too." megumi said as he grinned at you.

"but there are many types of roses." you said as you fixed megumi's disheveled shirt.

"really? what's your favorite among them, mama? megumi asked.

"the purple one!" you said as megumi nods at you.

"why not red, mama? red is famous one right?"

"yes, but i love purple more. because it means love at first sight." you said as you bump megumi's nose with your pointer finger.

you watch him look to the side as you follow his line of sight. he was looking at his father. you forgot that toji was even there as you look away with embarrassment. clearing his throat, toji stood up from the couch as he brushed his hair with his fingers.

"i'm gonna prepare for work." he said before leaving as megumi watch his father disappeared from his sight.

"mama, is papa your love at first sight?" megumi asked when his father wasn't around anymore. you smiled as you recalled the very first day you laid your eyes on him.

"he is." you said with admiration in your tone. "did you know i met your papa when he was a kid?" you said.

"really? what's he like?!" megumi asked with excitement as he leaned close to you.

"hm, he's still the same.. but he saved me from bullies." you said as megumi kept quiet, wanting to know more. "i scraped my knee but i gave my band aid to him because his lips were bleeding."

"is that why papa have a scar?"

"i guess?" you said as you ruffled megumi's hair. "it's just a secret between us, okay?" you whispered as megumi nods at you.

unbeknownst to you, he heard everything you told megumi as he recalled that day where he first got the scar on his lip, that hello kitty band aid. so it was you, huh.

-

toji left after eating breakfast and it was past lunch when you heard a knock on your front door.

but you weren't expecting visitors, who could it be?

you were surprised when you're met with, no one. but there was a bouquet of purple roses on your doorsteps.

you picked it up as you read the note.

'this is for you, i hope you like it.'

you bit your bottom lip to suppress the smile but it couldn't be helped.

you inhaled the scent of the roses as you finally went inside the house.

-

"thank you for the roses, toji." night finally approached as toji looked up from his laptop and to you.

"what roses?" he asked as you look at him in disbelief.

"that- you, weren't you the one-" toji suddenly laughed as he closed his laptop.

"i'm just kidding." he said as you glared at him.

"not funny!" you said, almost embarrassed when you stammered with your words just a minute ago.

"did you like it?" toji asked as he started preparing the duvet.

as if it was already planned, you move close to him as he finally covered both of your bodies with the duvet. "i love it."

toji's arms automatically made its way to wrap securely around you.

"how's your check up with choso?" toji asked as he switched off the lamp.

"he recommended me another medicine."

"huh? why? i thought you're getting better?" toji asked as you silently laugh at him.

"yes i am, it was just a vitamin, i mean."

"ah, is that so?"

"mhm."

"sleepy already?" toji asked in a teasing tone and you only further hide your face on his chest. "goodnight." he mumbled.

"i love you, toji." you mumbled against his chest. "you can say it back when you're ready." you said as you look up at him and toji lightly smiled at you.

"i'm almost there.." he mumbled.

"i can still wait.." you said as you looked at him with glint in your eyes. toji let you kiss him on the lips before you went back on hiding your face. he chuckled as he pulled you closer with his hand behind your head.

it was a random night, a random song that was being played on the radio can be heard as you sit down on the couch of the living room. the lights were all closed, the street light outside being the only source of light inside your home.

toji wasn't home yet and megumi is already sleeping in his room.

your head almost fell on the couch when the click of the door woke you up.

toji sighed as he closed the door.

"i'm home." he muttered, but didn't expect to see you approaching him in the dark.

"welcome back." you greeted as you took his bag on his hand, guiding him on the living room.

"have you eaten?" you asked.

"ye-"

"let's eat together, i'm hungry!" you exclaimed as you held him by his hand, guiding him to the kitchen. well maybe eating dinner for the second time wouldn't hurt. toji thought.

"megumi?" he asked.

"already sleeping." you replied with an almost sleepy voice as toji sighed.

"you didn't have to wait for me." he said as he stand beside your almost sleeping form. "let's get you to bed." toji said and carried you in a bridal style.

"toji.. let's sleep." you said as he unbuttoned his almost tight polo.

"yeah, i'll just changed my clothes."

"hurryy."

"did you drink?" toji asked as he lied beside you.

"no."

"why are you being clingy?" he asked.

"miss you." you mumbled, wrapping your arms on his figure. "did you miss me?" you asked and toji couldn't help but smell you.

you didn't even smell like alcohol.

"i'm not drunk, i'm just sleepy." you said as if you just read his mind.

"alright."

"you didn't answer me yet."

"i did." he said as you squealed in happiness.

"okay, good night. i love you." you mumbled.

toji gaze softened as he pulled you close to his chest.

"good night." i love you too.

-

it was late at night again and toji was still not home. megumi was sent back home by a school bus last afternoon.

you haven't eaten yet. you were waiting for toji so both of you could eat dinner at the same time again and the door clicked as you stood up from the couch.

"i'm home." toji mumbled.

"welcome back!" you exclaimed.

if yesterday you were sleepy, today you have a lot of energy. you took the bag from toji's hand as you walked ahead, only to be pulled back when toji held your wrist, placing a kiss on your forehead as he loosened his tie.

it sure caught you off guard as toji walked past you as if nothing happened.

"well, have you eaten?" you asked, almost stuttering.

"yes." he responded and you mentally frowned.

"okayy." you said as you help him remove his blazer.

"what about you?" he asked, but before you could answer, your stomach growling did it for you. embarrassing.

"well, i guess eating dinner for the second time wouldn't hurt, right?" he said.

-

"hi, welcome back.." you slowly said as you took toji's bag in your hand.

"i'm home." he muttered, walking past you but suddenly he went back and give your forehead a kiss before removing his watch.

"bad day?" you asked, helping him remove his blazer.

"yeah, i think i couldn't eat dinner with you tonight." he said with a frown.

"it's fine! you go and rest." you said, giving him a smile of reassurance.

toji frowned once again when you made your way to the kitchen. you were humming a song but you were stopped when you saw toji sitting at his usual spot. you blinked twice at him as he sighed.

"well, i got hungry." he said, not looking at your way.

"okay! i'll re-heat some more then." you exclaimed with a smile and toji couldn't help but mirror it.

"thank you for the food."

-

another bad day.

you noticed it the moment toji entered the house with a slumped shoulders.

"welcome back." you greeted, doing the same routine.

"i'm home." he responded, hooking an arm around you before placing a kiss on your.. lips? "what's dinner for today?" he asked as he started unbuttoning his polo. "(name)? what's wrong?" he asked.

"w-well, i made your favorite." you stammered as you made your way infront of him, helping him remove his blazer.

toji made his way first at the kitchen, taking a mug from the cabinet and it caught your attention.

"coffee?" you asked as he nods and suddenly, you placed a hand on his back.

"take a seat. i'll make you one." you said.

"i can do it myself."

"just let me take care of this, okay? you're tired from work." you said, turning on your back to make him a black coffee when you suddenly felt his weight behind you.

"thank you." he mumbled before going back to sit and it made you proud of yourself.

-

"welcom-" you were cut off when toji harshly kissed you, his hand flying at the back of your head as he pushed you, until your body collided with a wall. "toji-" you mumbled through his kisses as you pat his shoulder. "can't breathe!" you said as he finally pulled away, with him leaning his forehead on yours as both of you catch your breaths.

"bad day again?" you asked but he only clicked his tongue, continuing his task on you, the food you made being forgotten as he carried you and made his way on the bedroom, and also not forgetting to lock the door.

-

thank goodness it was saturday today.

your whole body was aching and toji was out of sight as you sat up from the bed.

"mama?" megumi's voice can be heard at the door as he knocked three times before opening, only to see you on the ground. "mama!" megumi exclaimed as he approached you. "papa help!" megumi yelled as he struggled to help you stand up.

"megumi look out for the food in the kitchen." toji said as megumi followed what he was instructed.

"it hurts." you said as toji easily carried you, placing you back on the bed.

"guess i went rough last night." he mocked.

"shut up!"

-

"i'm home." toji said as he entered the house. you smiled as you approached him.

"not a bad day anymore?" you joked as he laughed, hooking a hand around you as he placed a kiss on your lips. you were used to it now.

"yeah." he replied as both of you did the usual routine.

after the dinner, you were quiet. it was unusual for you to be silent.

"toji-"

"what's wrong?" he asked, cutting you off. the night you both shared was 2 weeks ago, you were supposed to have your period 2 days ago but none came.

"i'm late." you said, starting to get stressed. "i'm scared, what if i ended up being pregnant-"

"then that's good. megumi will have a playmate. is it not?"

"but-"

"it's okay." he said, taking your hand on his and you were surprised when he removed the wedding ring on your finger, placing a new one. "wear this from now on." he said, placing a new ring with a rare design on it.

"thank you.. i love it but, why?"

"i want to get married again." he said, looking straight in your eyes.

"but we're already married." you said as you frowned.

"but for real this time." he said with a smile. "you know, before, i wasn't-" he paused, he couldn't say it but you already understood what he was saying.

"i understand." you said as you laughed.

"will you marry me again?" he asked and you couldn't contain the big smile that was on your face.

"i would love too!" you said as you embraced him, with him spinning you around.

"i love you (name).. thank you for staying with me and megumi. thank you for not giving up on us.. on me." he said and you couldn't help but tear up.

finally. it's finally happening.

"i love you too." you responded with a shaky voice as he wiped your tears with his thumb before finally connecting his lips with yours.

it was worth all the wait.

toji disciplining baby megs 😖🤏

toji was never usually the one disciplining his son. he did the ‘eat your veggies’ and ‘inside voices only please’ and that was about it. you were more the type to teach megumi to share with his classmates and not speak over others, you may not have given birth to the boy but you loved and cared for him so deeply these things came naturally. and so tonight toji was surprised when he had spotted little megumi waddle into the living room and demand you charge his tablet for him. toji watched from his seat at the dinner table, slurping his noodles as he took in your gentle voice explaining to megumi that it was bedtime and his tablet time was over.

“no mama i want to play the game” megumi kept repeating, his voice gradually getting louder as he spoke over you. he listened as you tried to get another sentence in when suddenly you yelped out in pain and toji realised megumi had thrown his tablet and it had landed on your knuckles. the little boy’s eyes were still full of determination, unknowing of the pain he had caused you until he heard his father shout his name.

“get over here.” toji called out, watching as megumi’s tiny face was struck with a look of shock. he toddled his way over to his dad, hands gripped infront of his little protruding belly.

“did you just hit mama?”

“i just wanted to play my game!” little gumi answered. he had never heard his dad shout like this at him, he didn’t even mean to do it!

“go and say sorry you’re so naughty i can’t believe it.”

that was enough to have little megumi break into tears. his podgy hands digging into his eyes as the tears continued to fall. his dad thought he was naughty?

“go NOW” and toji watched as his son made his way over to you practically choking on his tears as he gasped out multiple ‘sorry’s’ and ‘love you mama’s. he took in your gentle hands caressing the top of megumis black hair and rubbing his back while he cried and cried.

a few minutes passed and toji had warmed up some chocolate milk for his son. he plopped himself into the gap on the couch by your side letting out a long sigh at the heat radiating off your body. megumi had his head safely tucked into your neck refusing to look at his dad as he made little hiccuping sounds.

“cmon buddy i need to talk to you. want some milk?”

and with a little encouragement from you megumi crawled into his father’s lap. toji found his own heart hurting at the tear stricken look on his sons face.

“sorry for shouting at you megs but remember we aren’t allowed to hit girls especially not mama. me and you are meant to protect mama yeah?”

“i’m sorry i won’t do it again” gumi said in his tiny voice as he cuddled up closer into his dad’s side.

“you’re a great dad.” you whispered whilst leaving soft kisses on tojis bicep and tickling megumi’s little toes. he wiped at the remaining tears left on gumis eyelashes thinking about what you said. if an angel like you saw good in him then maybe he was doing something right.

author’s note : this is so completely random i just couldn’t stop thinking about toji cuddling his little baby 🤏 apologies for any mistakes i wrote this on the train lolz

finish her! a toji fushiguro oneshot

pairing ⸺ wrestler!toji x reader

summary ⸺ you will have to face one of the most formidable wrestlers in history in your next match: toji fushiguro. but don't be confused, this isn't normal wrestling⸺no, it's nude wrestling. and winner gets the spoils of the other's body! (extended ver of my toji drabble here)

warnings ⸺ nasty, NASTY smut, VERY public sex, WWE but pornhub edition, you’re a wrestler fighting toji, so some violence but nothing graphic, fem!reader, HUMILIATION, degradation, you're literally fucked in an arena of people, p in v sex, unprotected sex, spanking, oral sex (f! recieving), boobplay, very inaccurate depiction of wrestling/WWE, not edited we die like toji, pls help me find artist :(

a/n im going to sit in the corner and think about what i just wrote

kinktober masterlist | general masterlist

the muffled sounds of the crowd’s deafening roar seem to swirl in the space around you, each cheer vibrating through your chest like distant thunder. you take a long, cool sip of water, a welcome contrast to the warm air backstage. lounging back, you let the chair support your weight, your muscles still humming with the residual tension of anticipation. utahime’s fingers work into your shoulders, and her voice filters through the buzzing atmosphere, calm and steady as she gives you a rundown of the night ahead, though her words seem to blur slightly at the edges—just background noise to the constant hum of adrenaline.

“in front of a crowd—do you understand? and the rules are no fucking, unless all clothes are off first.”

“right,” you affirm, albeit hesitantly. you’re feeling a bit jitterish in anticipation of what’s to happen, despite having trained months to hone your ability as a wrestler. look, wwe itself can get really suggestive at times, with people giving wedgies, removing certain articles of clothing, or even letting the crowd cop a feel of the defeated to serve as humiliation. not only does it improve publicity, but it also increases viewership of all the horny bastards on the internet to circle the televised clip around in their subreddits or discord servers.

but what you were going to do today—that was a bit…extreme. it was like bridging the gap between soft core and hard core, with the humiliation turned up to a hundred. because today, you were going to wrestle the man that all female–and male–wrestlers could even dream of having their hands on, even if for a slight moment.

toji fushiguro.

a man of impressive build—entering a ring with him only meant defeat. he’s had numerous career wins, far exceeding any other. hell, you shouldn’t even be matched to wrestle with him today; he outweighs and outranks you by far. the only thing you really have running for you is the sheer amount of fans you have, ready to tune in to your fights and edit your moves and time spent in the fighting ring to songs like “chun li” and “maneater.” so, sure, you don’t exactly anticipate a win today in that stadium that’s waiting for you, but you’re no less of a wrestler in your own right. you won’t go down without a fight.

however, today was no normal fight. the wwe had suddenly decided that their viewership was too low, that extreme measures needed to be taken to boost. so, ironically enough they had decided to change the rules just before your momentous match:

all wrestlers must consent to having all and any articles of clothing removed from their person, particularly for sexual intercourse as a reward for the winner.

so, WWE (Pornhub’s Version) (In The Vault). 

and your luck dictated that this paradigm shift for the organization occur just before your most anticipated match with toji. again, you knew that no amount of training could prevent you from getting utterly humiliated, but it was almost like the gods were laughing down on you, eager to rub in your impending defeat once more. because you were going to get your shit fucked up—-literally.

“it’s going to be fine,” utahime assures you, and you snap back to the present from your thoughts at the sound of her voice. “just think about the publicity this’ll get you! not that you don’t have any fans of yourself, but there are going to be a lot of people tuned in because of fushiguro.”

you take an inhale in and nod. “yea, that’s true. i just want to get it over with.”

as if answering your prayers, gojo satoru, the mc, burst into your dressing room. “it’s your time to shine, buttercup!” he grins, ushering you out the door. albeit a bit nervously, you stand up and make your way into the hallway that leads directly into the middle of the arena. “you’re going to do great!”

as soon as you walk closer and closer to the arena, the screams get louder and louder, the music booming and causing the floor under you to vibrate. the sounds of people surround all your senses, wrapping you up and causing your heartbeat to go faster and faster. 

reaching the end of the hallway, the arena is filled with light, and you have to blink to get a hold of your sight. surrounding the center boxing ring are stands upon stands of people, hustling and bustling. at the sight of you, cameramen stationed around in various spots through the arena furiously angle their cameras towards you. not only are journalists and the media snapping pictures, blinding you with the flash, but you see yourself displayed on the big screens visible to everyone in the arena. you smile and wave, causing your fans to scream as they register that you have walked in. 

then, a realization washes over you. these are the same screens that are going to be projected whatever's going to happen during the fight and when you lose.

oh god.

you walk forward, trying to keep up your smile and wave to all of your fans that outstretched their hands, trying to cop a feel and/or get a high five. most of your fans are male (to no one's surprise), and you can feel their eyes roving over you appreciatively, taking in your outfit. it was simple and tight; shorts that just barely covered your ass and was snug around your hips, and a low cut top that couldn't even be called a top. your cleavage was on full display, and the top stopped just below your waist. typically, this is your wrestling attire you wear to a normal match, but you couldn't help but wryly notice that today, your neckline was cut lower than usual. the wwe was really trying to milk this, huh?

you stood just below the boxing ring, eyes anxiously scanning the arena, unconsciously searching for the man you were set to fight. but no matter how hard you looked, you couldn't spot his tall, muscular figure either in the ring or in the seat he was supposed to occupy with his manager.

a light tap on your shoulder startled you, and you turned to find utahime behind you, a concerned look on her face. "everything alright?"

"yeah," you said, waving her off with a forced smile. "but where is he?"

utahime pointed toward the boxing ring, and then you saw it—a glimpse of black hair.

"alright," you said, swallowing nervously. "i'm heading into the ring. wish me luck."

"wait!" utahime called out, but you were already too far to hear her. gripping the ropes at the edge of the ring, you hauled yourself up and strode toward the center, determined to get a better view. and there, just on the far side of the ring, hidden from your previous angle, was toji fushiguro.

he was lounging back, relaxed, his posture almost lazy as he faced his manager, shiu kong. you couldn’t see toji's face from this angle, but his body language indicated that he was the epitome of ease. shiu was saying something to him, and from your best attempt at lip reading, you could just make out the words, "don't break the rules today."

toji, on the other hand, didn't seem to be looking at him (giving 0 fucks, something so classically toji), focusing now towards the big screens everyone else saw in the arena. you turned your gaze towards them as well, only to be taken aback when it was you, a compilation of your best moments in the ring, narrated by gojo.

“and today, fellas, we’re going to see the bombshell y/n—the maneater, as coined by her fans—-competing! while her opponent is fushiguro, don’t be fooled—she can pack a mean punch. look at this fight with mei mei; she sweeped the floor with her face!” 

satisfied, you looked around, the arena bustling with people getting drinks, being enraptured with your fight on the screen, or pointing at you or toji. toji, on the other hand, was chuckling and shaking his head at your fight, observing as you gave the bitch mei mei a wedgie. which kind of made you flustered, because you had developed a crush on the guy observing him from afar or in passing, so you just focused on shaking out your legs and arms in nervousness.

gojo similarly announced toji’s fights and compilation, gassing him up for the crowd and it was then that toji finally turned around, uninterested in whatever was going on, and caught your eye. you stared back, breath held involuntarily. 

his eyes had a predatory glint to them, and he smiled, charmingly in a way that showed off his scar, and they scanned up and down your figure, taking in what you were wearing—or rather, letting his imagination run. nervously, your heart sped up as you clenched your thighs up in anticipation or anxiety, you couldn’t choose which, as your mind began running at the speed of light thinking about what was going to happen today.

today, you weren’t only going to wrestle toji fushiguro. you were going to fuck him.

but you’re jolted out of your thoughts as gojo’s obnoxious voice blares through the speakers. “give it up for thee wwe goat, toji fushiguro!”

screams reach an all time high as his smirk is broadcasted to the audience, biceps bulging and flexing as he heaves his way up on the ring, joining you. he waves lazily, roars at an all time high as he stalks his way to you, and you squeeze your nails into your palm out of nervousness.

when gojo announces your name, the male screams rise up in volume, causing you to giggle and fushiguro to roll his eyes from what you can see in the corner of your eye. you give a dainty wave, choosing to wink and blow a kiss to the camera in front of you, causing your fans to scream even louder.

“you sure got a lotta fanboys, darling.” you jump as toji has now bent down to whisper in your ear, literally sending shivers down your spine.

you force out a laugh. “and you're at no shortage of fangirls yourself, fushiguro.”

he gives you a nonchalant hum, assuming his original position. as gojo continued to yap about the stakes of the round today, the recent rule change, a referee walked over to you both, coming in closer so that you would be able to hear him over the chaos of the arena.

“so, you’re both aware of the rules, right?” he both looked at you, to which you nodded and toji’s smirk widens. “you gotta get the other’s clothes completely off, and the first one to do that wins.”

you gulp, eyeing what toji was wearing today. it was his signature garb, the one he wore to almost every match without fail: grey pants with various sponsorships sewed on, and a black compression shirt. it was definitely very minimal compared to what a lot of the other wrestlers wore, but it was iconic, giving him a lazy, laid back aura that no other wrestler could truly emanate.

it wasn’t anything hard to take off in particular.

both of you affirmed your consent to the referee, who then took a step back after wishing you both good luck.  you turned, facing toji face on, who had his hand on his hip. “try to last long, okay?” he smirks, patting your shoulder with his other hand. “i’ll try to drag this out as much as i can, but it’s gonna be fuckin hard if that ass is grinding against me.”

you glare, but there isn’t much intensity to it because you know he’s much stronger than you. there isn’t much to get angry about. “yea, yea,” you huff. “for all i know, you’ll be my personal dildo today.”

he barks out a laugh and looks at the referee, who has one hand raised, the other one poised on his whistle, ready to blow and start the round. it’s starting soon. then, he looks back to you and smiles. “let the games begin.”

the referee blows the whistle.

at once, you launch yourself towards toji, trying to jump on him to get him off his feet with your weight. instead, he dodges easily and leaves you hurtling towards the floor, making you poise yourself on your hands and feet upon impact. you roll over just as toji tries to tackle you and pin you against your original position on the floor and quickly get up.

however, as you’re steadying yourself on your feet, toji grabs your ankle, causing you to lose your balance and giving him the advantage to pin himself on top of you, his mouth breathing heavily next to your ear, whispering so it was just the two of you that could hear his words. “what do you think i should take off first?” he laughs deeply, the vibration causing you to shiver and try to squirm to get out of his hold, to no avail. “should it be these?” he snakes his hands down to grope your tits, giving them a firm squeeze, much to the arena’s pleasure. “or should i take these off of you?” he slaps your ass, making you blush furiously.

“fuck you,” you hiss as his hands catch on the edge of your shorts.

he gives you a sweet, small kiss on your temple. “don’t worry, baby,” he smiles. “you’ll be doing that anyways.” and with that, he pulls at your shorts until the waistband’s elastic rips, leaving your shorts in tatters until he throws the remains of it away, baring your panty-covered ass to the crowd, which immediately grows wild.

you crane your neck to look at the screen, which is currently focused on toji’s hands feeling up your ass, dipping inside your underwear to knead the flesh. your heart is pounding, the thought i need to get the upper hand flashing continuously across your mind. it’s almost as if you’re drowning, the noises of the crowd blurring together until it was only you and toji’s weight on you. you barely heard the announcer exclaim, “toji is currently in the lead!” as you focused on calculating your next move.

it was time to pull out all the stops. 

turning your head until you were making eye contact with him, you bit your lip, momentarily distracted him with the 180 turn of your actions, now nonchalant rather than the flailing you were doing earlier. then, you raised your hips, meeting your backside with his crotch in an effort to catch him off guard and to make him lose balance. then, you maneuvered yourself so your thighs surround toji’s waist and hump your hips against his bulge. this momentarily distracted and weakened toji, and you take full advantage of it by overtaking him and now straddling him. you quickly take off his shirt, salivating at the muscles you see. the whole stadium, in fact, can see his abs and pecs glistening with sweat.

smirking while peering down at him, you slowly grind your hips as if you were riding a mechanical bull, making a show of spinning around his shirt with your hand to mock him. toji’s eyes darken, but a mirthless smile flashes across his face anyways. “damn, take me out to dinner first.”

you flash him one of your own humorless smirks, happy that you got at least one thing against him. “i don’t fuck anyone before the first day, honey. this is just another cheap fuck.” with that, you yank his head back with his hair roughly, making a show of motorboating his pecs, as if to mock him.

instead of getting angry, he chuckles darkly. “you’re going to regret that. i was going to drag this out, princess, but i gotta fuck the brat out of you.” with that, he spins you around just as quickly—if not quicker—pinning you against the ground with your hands held above your head in one hand in a vice grip, the other groping its way down your body. he buries his face in your neck, salaciously licking the length of it. with his free hand—now stationed around your tits—he grabs at the hem of your top, pulling it up so everyone could see your lace bra. mockingly, he plants his face in the middle of your tits, moving his head side by side to motorboat you just as you had done to him, the soft plush of your tits encompassing his face.

the crowd cheers, even more so than they had when you had ripped his shirt off, as toji completely rips the top off as you squirm, making the removal even easier for him. you can feel all eyes on you as toji reaches for the clip of your bra, unhooking it and making your tits pop out. helplessly, you look at the screen, your writhing making them move in a jiggling motion, sweat shining and giving you the “oiled-up” look. he takes a moment to grope them, your whines ignored as he pinches your nipples. “what a sensitive girl,” he coos. “too bad she was too weak. now she’s going to have to take my cock.”

with that, he teasingly closes the distance between the waistband of your panties and his teeth, mouth snagging on the elastic. slowly, he drags them down, unveiling your glistening pussy for all eyes to see, and the crowd goes wild, chanting random requests at toji to do the most heinous things to you. as soon as you’re completely naked, he grabs you by the waist, propping you up against one of the corner posts. you’re now standing up, tearfully facing the arena as the wrestler kneels behind you, burying his face and nosing his way until your pussy, lapping up your wetness.

at the unexpected feeling of his tongue, you yelp, and toji slaps your ass. “stay still.” acquiescing, he licks up long stripes and shakes his head to grind his nose into your cunt, pleasuring you while humiliating you in front of everyone, forcing you to succumb to the pleasure he’s making you feel. while licking you, he groans. “fuck, this pussy is so sweet. i’ve run out of patience, fuck the performance part.”

with that, toji flips you over so you’re on your hands and knees on the floor and pulls down his pants. you don’t even look back at the monster that’s about to enter you for the sake of your mental health, but your legs are shaking in anticipation of his cock, slick dripping down your thighs. 

he drags his cock teasingly through your folds, and then brings it out to slap it against your ass, humming appreciatively at the recoil. then, as if he’s lost patience, he’s slowly entering you, pushing against your pussy’s resistance as he penetrates you in front of the whole arena. “fuck!” he groans, getting a better grip on you as he pushes your head down on the mat and fully goes to pound town.  

the humiliating plap! plap! plap! of his hips against the flesh of your ass echoing multiple strangers watch your pussy get wrecked. “the fuck this pussy’s so tight for? thought you were a slut?”

you’re tearing up, the feeling of his dick hitting your g-spot straight on making you clench hard, overwhelmed by the feeling of him pummeling you and his hands on your body, feeling you up. clearly, he knew how to pleasure a woman, and it made you all the more annoyed. you were fucked out, but not fucked out enough to prevent you from snarkily replying, “you’re not turning me on, small dick.”

he did not like that very much.

toji drills his hips into yours faster and slaps your ass multiple times consecutively. “yea, so why is she clenching so fucking much? why is she dripping, you whore?” as if to demonstrate his point, he brings his fingers to rub at your clit furiously, collecting the wetness that had dripped down from your hole then shoving his fingers into your mouth. “suck.” when you did just that, suckling at his fingers while hollowing your hot, wet heat around the appendages. 

at that, he groaned. “what a little cockwhore. shoulda made you suck my dick instead.”

in retaliation, you bite his fingers, hard, and then spit them out. “i would’ve bit your micro off.”

toji hisses, grabbing the hair at your scalp and pulling on it until your face was up, his mouth at your ear. “just for that, i’m going to come inside of your slutty pussy.” he speeds up, moving his hips faster and fast. the hand that wasn’t at your hair is now sneaking his way down your back, until you gasp.

because he’s inserted his thumb inside your ass.

“oh, ho ho,” he laughs mockingly. “you liked that, didn’t you?” you offer him no response, choosing instead to focus on the feeling of the sheer amount of pressure you were feeling down there, being doubly stuffed. by now, your orgasm has been steadily building because of the sheer power of toji’s stroke game, but as soon as he hits your spot one last time, your eyes roll back, causing you to arch your back and writhe due to the intensity of your orgasm.

you’re breathing heavily, toji fucking you roughly through it. once you’ve gotten a hold of your sense, you come back to reality as you realize that the crowd has adopted a rhythm to their chants, your fans and his screaming the same thing.

cum! cum! cum!

and toji only chortles as he continues your thirst, looking at you once again, and you can tell that he’s staving his orgasm back just after experiencing your clenches with the way he’s biting his lips, sweat running down from his temple to his abs. “what do you say, baby? wanna give the crowd what they’re asking for?” 

all it takes is a whimpered please, and toji just does what the crowd asks of him. ropes of his cum fill you, and you drop down in exhaustion to hear toji declared as winner. 

as you exhaustedly lift your head up, you see that cameras are out all around you, focused on the screen. you’re flustered when you realize the billboard is displaying toji’s cum seeping out of you.

A hand on your shoulder. “you good?” toji’s looking at you, eyes twinkling.

you let out a breath. “yea,” you laugh, out of breath. “good round.”

and he’s huffing, giving you a hand to get on your back. you can only lie on the ground as he barks for clothes to be put on you and for some water. then he turns to look at you once more, eyes twinkling. “wanna go for more in my hotel?”

kinktober masterlist | general masterlist

a/n i was going to have him carry u up near to the stands where your fans could grab at ur titties but this is alr depraved as it is. now im going to take a breather from tumblr for the rest of this week becasue WHEW ch5 gojo yesterday and finished this today i am ON A ROLL. see you guys for next week's kinktober fic (comment if you want to be tagged)! much love<3

reblog and comments are much appreciated!!!!!

taglist:

@sugoroo @ryutotsukai0824 @sharkubi @lisvanrouge @mxlktae

@samisfunky @achbbys000 @xd3pr3ss3dx @jottositto @cheescakebroom

@r0ckst4rjk

♱ ‧₊˚. THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY ꒰ toji x f!reader ꒱ nsfw — mdni [dubcon (reader is crossfaded), alcohol/cocaine use, mentions of overdosing, infidelity (reader is cheating on megumi), age-gap, degradation, praise, raw sex, daddy kink, breeding kink, dirty talk, groping, pet names, squirting] wc [4k] an [repost from last night ⸝⸝ʚ̴̶̷̆ ̯ʚ̴̶̷̆⸝⸝ if you liked this, you can also reblog it]

"m’kay— think that's enough for one night, doll," toji lets out an amused chuckle as he observes your actions through his peripheral.

you’re leaning over the tray placed on your lap to snort your fifth line of coke that night, your head shooting back up to face the roof of toji’s car as you scrunch your nose in an attempt to offset the sting of the powder lining your sinuses. once the feeling subdued, you lazily turn to face the man in the driver’s seat, blinking at him dumbfoundedly with a pouty frown on your lips.

huh.

how’d i end up in my boyfriend’s dad’s car?

why couldn’t megumi come pick me up? did i even call him? i don’t think i did. did yuuji do it? why didn’t megumi come to the party in the first place? oh, right, he has that exam tomorrow morning. wait, don’t i have to write that exam, too? god, it’s so hot, even with the windows down. the wind feels nice… shit, it’s really cold.

the harsh gust of the cool summer night’s wind flew in through toji’s open window and across your body, pushing your hair past your shoulders and raising goosebumps on your bare arms. you shiver against the leather seat, sinking further into it in an attempt to avoid the draft. this shift in your position seems to have only made it worse, however; the rigid breeze now skimming over your chest.

oh, wait, that feels good…

the copious amount of drugs in your blood had you hyper-cognizant of every tiny, minute change your body experienced, and that translated into the heightened responses it elicited.

you feel your nipples harden through the thin fabric of your tank top, and you can’t help the way your thighs start rubbing together to ease the inevitable throbbing of your clit. your breathing is quick to become ragged as you feel yourself burning up, and you undo your seatbelt to shuffle uncomfortably in your seat.

“f-fuck…” it escapes you as the quietest of erotic sighs, yet, it’s loud enough for toji’s ears to pick up on.

he’s snapping his head towards you at the sound of your high-pitched voice and the slow beeping coming from his car to signal him that you’d removed your seatbelt. his brow is raised and worry is hidden in his eyes behind the usual nonchalance they carry— he’s ready to ask you if you’re alright before the sight in front of him nearly knocks the air out of his lungs.

your head is leaning back against the headrest, face set blissfully with slightly parted lips and closed eyes. his gaze scans over your body; your nipples peeking out through your tank top, your far too-short skirt doing a poor job of covering your legs— the fabric bunching up at your hips and one of your hands slotted in between your thighs. you're dragging your clit along your fist, the faint gasps you let out travelling straight to toji’s cock.

fucking hell. were you too coked up to notice that your boyfriend’s dad was sitting right next to you?

from the first day his son brought you home, toji knew. he knew damn well you were going to cause him a lot of problems. he couldn’t deny that he had the hots for his son’s girlfriend; what with the way you waltz around his home wearing nothing but megumi’s shirts and your panties, with the way you talk to him with coquettish undertones lacing your soft voice, with the way you always smile at him so sweetly and so, so enticingly.

did you have any idea of what you do to him? or were you just that fucking naive?

did you have any idea of how he fucks his fist to the obscene sounds of your whimpers and whines as megumi fucks you into the bed in the next room over? or how he spills all over your panties that had accidentally gotten into his laundry? or how you’re in his dreams damn near every night, where he’s the one leaving his mark on you, and not megumi.

he’s brought back to the present when the tempo of the beeps coming from his car increases. before he realises it, he’s reaching out to place a sweaty palm on your thigh— a bit further up than he probably should’ve— to lightly shake you, “hey, doll, you gotta put your seatbelt back on.”

you whine in response, arching your back further off the seat upon the contact of his skin on yours, “don’t wanna…” your free hand finds its way on top of toji’s much larger one, and you slide your fingers under his palm to hold it, “can- can you… h-hah…”

toji would never admit it, but you have him short circuiting. behind his seemingly cool demeanour, he’s having a hard time driving straight in between the lines; his car swerving left and right. the incessant beeping from the dashboard that only seems to be getting louder and louder doesn’t do anything to help the chaos of the situation he’s in, “c’mon, use your words…”

he hides his flustered arousal behind that signature, devilish smirk of his, eyes fluttering between the road and your legs as he swallows an impending groan that’s brought on by you sliding his hand to hook onto the inside of your thigh.

toji's too focused on trying to not let your lewd whimpers get to his head— and his dick, to notice that the grip he had on the steering wheel was turning white-knuckled and that his foot had been applying more pressure on the accelerator.

120 mph.

“t-toji…”

he covers up a cough with a low chuckle, your soft call of his name sending his brain into overdrive. he rubs a comforting thumb along your thigh— fuck, your skin was so soft, “yeah, doll?”

you utter almost painfully, “ngh— n-need… need you…”

130 mph.

toji fushiguro was a greedy man. he craved money, sex, and all the thrills that the universe had to offer. but at this point in his life, nothing came close to how much he wanted you. was it because you were probably the only thing that he couldn’t have? maybe.

was it because you belonged to his son and not him? perhaps.

toji fushiguro was a greedy man, but the amount of self-discipline he has is almost surprising. he knows not to touch what’s not his— especially when it comes to megumi.

but with the way you’re begging him to take you, with the way you’re clinging onto his hand as if it were a lifeline— god, toji doesn’t think his patience has ever been tested to this extreme.

“fuck me… please— oh, god— need it s’bad, toji…”

140 mph.

the thin thread of resolve that toji had was very close to tearing. he inhales deeply, before looking over at you with a grin more sinister than before, “you’re playing a dangerous game here… don’t get your pretty little head into somethin’ y’know you won’t be able to get out of,” his fingers experimentally dig into the flesh of your thigh, coaxing a wanton moan of his name from your throat.

"want you so bad… wanna fuck you so bad," your thighs tighten around his hand, "want you inside me, wanna feel you fill me up—"

and that's when he snaps.

"fuck this," with a sudden jerk of the steering wheel, he's pulling over to the side of the freeway, putting his car in park before hastily undoing his seatbelt and leaning over to maneuver you onto his lap. without warning, he takes either side of your face in his hands, pulling you into him to clash his lips against yours.

the kiss is hungry and full of lust, full of the want and need that toji’s had bottled up in him for the many months you’ve been dating his son.

his fingers trace down your neck to slide the straps of your tank-top off your shoulders, pulling down the front to expose your breasts. the cool breeze of the night flows through the open window, goosebumps forming on your supple skin, and you can't help the shiver that runs up your spine as you press your chest into his to try and feel as much of him against you as possible.

his palms crawl under the fabric of your top and run up your sides, stopping at your chest to rub his calloused thumbs over your perky nipples. his actions elicit a ghost of a moan from you and an uncontrolled buck of your hips against his, "f-fuck..."

toji’s fully sober, but he feels himself getting drunk on your taste and touch, the alcohol on your tongue prominent against his, the tip of his nose lightly dusted with the white powder you messily snorted earlier. your one hand is under his black skin-tight shirt, warm palm placed on his taut abs to feel the way they contract and expand under your sensual touch; your other hand is lost in his straight black locks, gripping and gently tugging every time you feel yourself slipping deeper and deeper into your arousal.

he’s groaning into your mouth and ravishing you with sloppy kisses, sucking and tugging on your lower lip before releasing it with a pop, "do you have any idea of what you do to me? walkin’ around dressed like a fuckin' hooker?" his large hands travel down to your hips, impatient fingers tapping against the cotton fabric of your too-short skirt; he's snarling against your jaw, peppering wet kisses and leaving bite marks along his trail, "the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you smile— the way you cry out my son’s name when he’s fucking you into the bed? yeah, doll, i can hear it all, y’know."

the growl lacing his baritone voice sends blood rushing straight to your clit and prompts you to grind down onto his lap, revealing the boner he'd popped, "please, toji—"

"fuck; you sound even better when you’re sayin’ my name,” his lips are at your collarbone now, trailing south to leave love-bites on the curvature of your breasts— right atop the fading ones left on you by megumi from nights prior. as for toji’s hands— they're on your thighs, palming and squeezing at whatever flesh he can get a hold of.

his fingers dance upwards, and you feel a lick of warmth shoot up your abdomen as he nears the place you need him the most. toji lets out a low groan against your sternum when he feels the lack of the thin fabric he was expecting to separate your cunt from the thick denim of his jeans, "no panties? you're practically begging to be fucked stupid, aren't cha?"

"wan' it s'bad, toji, please, please,” pawing at his crotch with butterfingers, you attempt to remove the button of his jeans, letting out a needy whine when you can't get them undone.

tojii notices that your words are more slurred now— the copious amounts of drugs and alcohol in your system are probably just reaching their peak.

he’s a man of questionable morals; sure, he’s definitely dreamed about fucking you every which way when he sleeps at night, waking up with soiled boxers and sweat drenching the sheets. he’s definitely shamelessly fucked his fist while he hears the bed creak rhythmically from his son’s room next door, your broken mewls and cries spurring him on until he cums the most he thinks he ever has.

he’s a man of questionable morals; but even he can tell this is an all time low for him. there's a voice in the back of his mind that's screaming at him to stop, how messed up it is of him to be fucking his son's girlfriend— but how does he expect himself to hold back when you're the one who pushed yourself onto him, when you're the one asking him— and not his son, your boyfriend— to bury his cock deep within you and fill you up.

toji helps you with unbuttoning his jeans and freeing his cock from its confines, letting out a curse when the cold night breeze sweeps over it. your pussy throbs at the sight of his dick— it's leaking pre-cum, fat tip flushed red and angry; desperately in need of attention with the way it's twitching against his abdomen. you can't help the giggle that escapes you in that moment, your index finger lightly tracing over a prominent vein, "can tell where ‘gumi got his size from…”

his cock twitches again at your words, a breathy laugh leaving him as he leans forward, one hand finding the back of your neck to mold his lips against yours. with his other hand, he takes a hold of his cock and strokes it a few times, rubbing the pre-cum over his length before flicking your skirt up and gliding the head in between your folds, making sure to give extra attention to your puffy nub. he feels your hips buck against his and your arms wrap tighter around his shoulders when he prods your entrance open, dreamily sighing into his mouth, “feels s’good, toji…”

“h-hah, ‘m not even in you yet— o-oh, fuck,” you sink down on his full length without warning, languid moans falling from both of your lips, and your ass squishing down against his thighs as you take a moment to adjust to his size.

just from looking at his dick, you thought it was roughly the same size as your boyfriend’s but fuck, does it feel so much bigger inside you— the girth stretching you out almost painfully and the thick head hitting pleasure points against your wall that you didn’t even know existed. your chest flushes with warmth when he shifts his hips experimentally, your clit catching onto his pubic bone, earning a broken whimper from you as you bury your head in the crook of his neck.

maybe it’s all the foreign substances in your blood talking, but toji’s dick feels so, so amazing— feels like you’re in seventh heaven, and he hasn’t even started moving. a part of you is scared for him to, knowing that you’ll be sure to cum embarrassingly quick from the heavy drag of his veiny cock and the tip nudging up against that one sacred spot inside you that megumi’s dick couldn’t even dream of reaching.

unbeknownst to you, toji was experiencing the same inner turmoil. he swears he’s never been in pussy this tight— or at least not in many years; and god, he doesn’t remember the last time he’s felt this good. he’s pretty sure you’re unaware of the way your wall is clamping down on his length, but he’s hyper aware of how your ministrations keep pushing him closer and closer to his release. his arms engulf your frame and pull you flush against his chest, his breathing ragged against the crown of your head, “gotta stop clenching ‘round my cock like that, baby, f-fuck.”

your hold on his bicep loosens as you turn your head into his face, lips tracing his jaw. you look up at him through your lashes and you both share the same expression; parted lips slowly curving upwards into soft smiles. toji knew this was wrong; who in their right mind would fuck their son’s girlfriend? you also knew it was wrong, even through your clouded inebriation, but that just added to the thrill of it all; the giddiness in both of you growing by the second, “i— s-sorry…”

toji’s heart swells upon hearing your sweet voice, and he can’t help but coo at you, “good girl, so sweet f’me— umph!”

good girl.

all it took were those two words to have you clamping down on his cock again, this time much harder than previously. a lewd cry escapes your lips as your head falls forward onto his chest, your arms encircling his broad shoulders, “f-fuck, ‘m sorry!”

he’s panting into your neck, hot breath leaving drops of condensation that drip down your skin. toji has a lot of patience and willpower, both of which were running extremely low— all thanks to you. it’s not like he really minds, though; he wants nothing more than to fuck you senseless, wants nothing more than to hear you call out his name, wants nothing more than to taint you and watch his thick seed leak out of you, “y’like that, huh? like it when i praise ya, pretty?”

your needy whine overtakes his voice mid-sentence as your rub your hips against his. you want to fuck him; you want to bounce on his cock and make him feel good, but there’s no way you can. you’re practically jelly in his arms; complaisant and pliable, and half your mind is wishing you’d taken it easier on the alcohol, “mhm, can you— h-hah… fuck me, please, d-daddy?”

toji groans when hears your last word, “smart girl— catchin’ on s’quickly,” he’s quick to heed your request that you asked him oh, so sweetly for, thrusting his hips up into yours gently once, twice, and then a third time, his half-lidded eyes scanning your face.

your bottom lip is caught between your top teeth as you try to suppress the obscene sounds you knew would escape your throat; your eyes are shut and brows furrowed, head tilted back to expose your neck and chest to him. his lips find a home in the hollow of your collar bone, where he sucks and nips to mark you up even more— the thought of megumi finding your body littered with small bruises that he knows he didn’t leave has toji smirking into your skin.

his actions elicit a gasp from you and your fingers find the roots of his hair to grip them, “daddy; please, please, please— ngh, s’good,” you’re babbling at this point, without even the slightest of clues of what you’re begging him for.

calling him “daddy” again seem to awaken some type of carnal desire within him, with the way his thrusts start becoming more forceful and his fingertips dig further into the flesh of your waist. he’s hitting deep— so deep and so violently that your jaw falls slack and a loud moan of his name leaves your lips.

toji growls in response, one hand leaving your waist to pull you in by the back of your neck for a slobbery kiss. your tongues massage each other, drool dripping down the corners of your mouths. it’s messy— full of lust and passion and desire.

he loves it that way.

the sounds of his thighs slapping up against your ass and the wet squelches of his cock ploughing into your leaking cunt fill the empty silence of the car, but your lewd cries and mewls are quick to join the ensemble. you sound so cute— so innocent and so sweet with the way you’re begging for him that a part of toji wishes he hadn’t fallen prey to his craving for you. despite this, he can’t help the ever-growing amount of blood rushing down to his cock.

he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, and neither were you.

every thrust up into your soft cunny has your clit catching onto his pelvis, and you can feel the cold flame in your abdomen burning brighter from the accompanied drag of his cock against all the pleasure points that line your walls. broken gasps and whimpers fall onto his ears as you swear he’s fucking up into your womb.

toji isn’t faring much well off either; your gummy walls have his length in a vice grip, and your voice only drives him closer and closer to his high. his eyes are stuck on your entrance, salivating at the way the ring of cream coating the base of his cock gets thicker with each thrust up into you, "gonna let daddy cum inside this pretty pussy?"

“oh, fuck, y-yes—” your grip on his hair tightens.

“yeah?” it’s a back-and-forth; toji asking you almost mockingly and you responding with high-pitched whines, “so good f'me.”

and suddenly, without warning, he’s groping your ass to fuck you at an angle that has you choking on your breath. you sob at the way the fat head of his dick is hitting your cervix rapidly, falling dizzy from how he’s splitting you in half. an unfamiliar tremor slowly makes its appearance within you, and you don’t think you’ve ever felt it when megumi’s made you cum before.

no, this is different; it feels like a flash, a hot streak ripping through your body and pulsating in your abdomen as you succumb to your arousal, your body breaking into trembles under toji’s secure hold, “daddy, cumming— 'm cumming!”

“shh, that’s it, princess, let go,” his thumb finds your clit to rub gentle circles on it, helping you ride out your high. you're crying while you're cumming, the pleasure hitting you like a high tide, and you’re gasping for air as you feel your essence leaking out of the gap between your cunny and toji’s cock to wet his lap and the leather seat below him. your walls spasm around him, and he twitches inside of you as his thrusts pick up speed, “f-fuck, ‘m gonna cum too.”

and that he does. he’s leaning into you, muffling a guttural groan into your neck as his hips lose their rhythmic pace and begin to stutter. he spills inside your womb, seed sloshing around your walls to paint them an opaque, milky white. his cock twitches inside you, the warmth of your spongy walls sending gentle waves of euphoria through him.

you’re resting your head on his chest with his chin on your scalp, both of you heaving to catch your breaths in the aftermath of a mind-blowing orgasm. toji’s the first to speak, pressing a lingering kiss to your hairline, “you’re fuckin’ filthy, doll.”

his voice rumbles through his chest, the reverberations ringing through your worn body and you all of a sudden feel embarrassed, letting out a timid hum as you bury your face into the crook of his neck.

“don’t go gettin’ all shy on me now,” one of toji’s hands tighten around your waist, the other coming up to gently cup your cheek and lift your face to meet his gaze.

he had always thought your looks were easy on the eyes, but seeing you like this— with your tired, lust-blown eyes, a thin sheen of saliva coating your pouty lips, and the moon casting her light down on one side of your face to illuminate the apples of your cheeks and the colour of your irises— god, he swears he’s never seen a sight more stunning, “megumi’s one lucky bastard,” his thumb caresses your cheekbone and you find yourself leaning into his touch, a lazy smile making its way onto your face.

he’s silent as he admires your face for a minute before you finally process his previous statement, your brain working at half it’s sober speed, “hah, or maybe he’s not—”

“let’s not… let’s not think about that for now,” he whispers before leaning forward to slot your lips between his in an attempt to push that thought aside in his mind.

the gravity of the situation you’d both gotten yourselves into hadn’t exactly hit yet— neither of you want it to— thinking that you could stay in this position, with his lips moulded against yours and his cock buried deep within the warm confinements of your walls for eternity.

you're both brought out of your post-sex bliss when buzzing comes from your phone that’s laying face up on the shotgun seat. your heads turn in time to take a look at who's calling, only to be met with a selfie of you and megumi on the screen. toji reaches an arm out to pick up the device, an expletive followed by a low laugh leaving his lips, and he taps your phone gently against the side of your head, "so... you gonna answer that, princess? or should i?"

REBLOGS + FEEDBACK APPRECIATED ⸝⸝ʚ̴̶̷̆ ̯ʚ̴̶̷̆⸝⸝

taglist: @fleurbrat @k7ss @awwhstheic @ivoryeycs @keiphoria @21-06-1996 @etheralyonn @bnhababyyyy @tinydiors @myschevious @nanaminshousewife @yeagerfushiguro @multistan-247 @qstrea @shadowarchon

Pics that remind me of toji (mostly freaky ahh pics), jjk Twitter links!

Tw; freaky, suggestive, blackfem!reader, olderbf!Toji, links, nsfw, ;)

Twitter links (nsfw) that remind me of Toji

tw; p in v, public sex, car sex, choking, ass eating, spanking, etc

car sex

All tied up for him

Roleplay

Fingering you while kissing you <3

He wants you pregnant <3

Fingering you while kissing you pt.2

All tied for him pt.2

Public sex

Ghostface

Cumming in your panties

PLAP PLAP

Fucking yourself while he's gaming

Sucking his cock <3

You let your friend suck his pretty dick <3

He failed NNN

Bouncing on his dick while stroking it <3

Your boyfriend decided to cheat so you decided to fuck Toji his best friend

Relaxing day in

Divider by @xurengu0 <3

MDNI

Toji Fushiguro, just a simple plumber is such a perv.

He's the local plumber, loved by many. He's in and out and gets your pipes clear doing it smoothly and quickly.

Unfortunately you had a sad issue...

Your toilet broke! You flushed too much toilet paper down. So it got stuck in the pipes. Then it hit you. Call Toji, he'll clear it quickly for a low price.

Perfect.

You called him and such and started talking. "Hey do you have any opening's today? My toilets clogged." You say as he lets a chuckle. "Mh yeah I do." he says in a gruff lazy voice.

You give him your information and shit, and he'll come over. Of course as a plumber he needs the source of the problem. So he asked.

"I was drunk and flushed too much toilet paper down the toilet." You said blandly. He was surprised how you bluntly said that. Like you don't give a shit. That just made him pop up.

"Yeah! Totally uhm, just give me your house address." He said in an overly cheery voice. You were honestly super surprised. He went from not giving a shit to giving one. That's the easiest way you could understand what was happening.

He cancels all his appointments, and gets angry calls and text, but he wants to make sure you get the earliest time slot. And also cancels more so he can stay longer.

He drives quickly to your house getting 100's of honks but he didn't care. He had to see this mystery girl. He's practically head over heels. But you sounded young. He had to make sure you were over 18.

So he was fucking happy when you opened the door and showed him your id when he weirdly asked but you thought it was part of the process. You were 22.

He was a bit older but the way you looked at him, he could tell you didn't really mind.

God you were cute.

But he was more focused on your ass when you weren't looking, tight shorts, that wrap around your ass so beautifully. You're significantly shorter than him. He felt like throwing you over his shoulder and slamming into on your cute little pink bed sheets.

"Toji?"

He blinked back to reality. With a small smirk, his plan is already in action.

"So uhm, where's the broken toilet?" He asks. Too over confident? Why? it's a weird question to be confident... but you push the weird thing away.

"Bedroom."

Perfect.

He runs in before you and snatches some panties and goes into the bathroom. He fixes your pipes, fast. You were surprised on how fast he fixed your pipes, but then again that's what everyone said. And it was really cheap.

Then later that night you realized why he made it cheap. He took expensive panties. That ass! But you were surprised when he came that night, with panties in hand, your panties. With messy sticky stuff in the middle.

Your suspicions were right. You were about to yell at him but his lips were pressed against yours. He did what he wanted, throwing you onto your cute bed and stripping you so god damn fast.

Later his cock was in you and it was to much to handle.

Him shoving his fat cock into your tight pussy. His harsh slaps to your ass, that sting feels like a pleasure that is a pleasure only he can make.

You woke up thighs sticky and a note on your bedside. His number and...

"I liked cleaning your pipes, but I hope you liked my pipe. Oh and I took more panties. See u soon."

Cocky asshole.

But that cringy note is true though. You did like his pipe.

Road head with Toji?

He's not some whimpering mess, he's pretty cocky. Gripping your hair that's probably tied up. He's got a filthy mouth too.

I just want to get my mouth allllllll up in that diiiick

yeah your hairs tied up but HIS HANDS THE HAIR TIE 🤭 Toji is so yummy

MDNI

Master list's

⯌ Sum

ROADDD HEADDD HELL YEAAHH #smotherthatdick

⯌ Wc

⯌Warnings

ROAD HEAD, Toji's a sweet asshole, cum eating, he calls you mama, boners, driving with one hand

_

"Toji!"

You say, as your very big boyfriend goes way over the speed limit. So it's not like you can stop him from being an asshole.

He just went faster to piss you off, with that he just speeds up to piss you off. That gorgeous smile on his face made you wanna smother him with a pillow, and some kisses.

Unfortunately you arguing with him and being mad turns him the fuck on. So he pops a proud boner. I mean a proud boner.

"Baby you gonna take care of what you caused." he says in that cocky tone that just makes you want to crash the car.

"Toji, I did not give you a stupid fucking boner." You say angrily. It doesn't help him from being turned on. It actually encourages it.

"Keep goin' mama."

Your face scrunches up from being annoyed. But Toji just finds it cute. He takes one hand off the wheel and takes his throbbing, big cock out.

God it's tempting, to suck it or at least give him a handy. But on the highway driving to your doctors appointment two hours away. I have to repeat the highway part.

"Go on. Suck princess. I know you want to." He says in that mouth watering tone. And he's not exactly wrong. But you want him to stop being cocky. To shut up. So basically you thought you should do it.

You unbuckle your seat belt and lean over the counsel and suck his tip. He lets out a deep chuckle. His hand tangles in your hair and pushes your head down on his cock.

You let out cute little choking noises on his cock as it hits the back of your throat.

He quickly leans over and smacks your ass because you stopped bobbing your head. It just made you moan. It caused pleasurable vibrations in his cock that made him swerve.

He wrapped your hair in a tight pony tail with his hand. You were trying to curse him out because he's driving with one hand and your body is over the stick but you suckling muffled it, just making him chuckle instead of whimper.

You didn't want to be the one whimpering. You wanted him to be the pathetic one. But instead he has the gorgeous smirk on his face. You suck hard trying to get him back and he lets out that sexy hiss that makes you get more wet.

"You gonna drink it up? Heh?" he says in a breathy tone that makes your thighs squeeze.

He cums down your throat, like his good little slut you swallow it all. He pulls you off of his cock and wipes the corner of your mouth with cum on it. He says something in that cocky tone that makes you so mad, yet horny.

"Got a little somethin' there."

Sooo

You're "coworkers" with Toji/Shiu. Let's say you're like an independent contractor, similar work as them. Shiu walks in on Toji bending you over a counter and fucking you?

Oh man. I 100% believe Shiu has a filthy mouth and would tease you through it. Better yet, him AND Toji talk you through it.

I also think Shiu wouldn't really join. He MIGHT jerk off. He would definitely take pictures if he knew you were okay with it and tell you he would use them later.

I'm barking-

Damn marry me Malice 😩 YOU MALICE make me scratch at the walls and bark istg

MDNI

Master list's

⯌Sum

Shiu helps you and Toji fuck like dogs ◖⚆ᴥ⚆◗

⯌ Wc

1.3k

(Not proof read)

⯌ Warnings

Shiu rubs your clit for a second, masturbation, toji's insane backshots, shiu smokes (duh), some killing, consensual groping (toji killed him), blood splatter, guns, crying, overstim, Shiu directing what Toji should do to you, size kink, size diff, praising, degradation, unprotected (wrap before you tap ya'll), creampies

୨୧・・・・୨୧

It was late at night and the air was crisp as you walked into this big mansion for this fancy gala. You needed information from a rich guy to effectively know what he does and also effectively kill him.

But he was also a horn dog...

So your objective was to seduce him while Toji and Shiu stay on the lookout.

When you were finally settled in, you went to the target, dancing and swaying beautifully. But Shiu's eyes were clearly planted on your ass. Toji elbowed him to focus on the targets movements and if he runs and shit like that.

What he really wanted was for Shiu to stop looking at your ass.

Eventually fucking ugly ass old man target (what Toji thinks he was), let out his obvious perv tendency's and the guy groped your ass. The objective was to kill him anyway and get information.

But Toji fully forgot about the last part and shot him in front of everyone. All the women in the fancy dresses screeched, scrunching their front of the long dresses up then running out.

The men screamed like little bitches it made you chuckle but the blood on your face made you disgusted. What made you more pissed is that you didn't get information that you needed since Toji got fucking jealous or something.

The three of you ran out and as soon as the cold air hit your skin in the skimpy dress you were wearing sent a shiver down your spine but you were still livid.

You and Shiu scolded Toji. He just smirked the whole time then you lost it. "Toji take one fucking thing serious! You can get us into big trouble! Just because you don't know how to control your stupid fucking emotions! You're so full of yourself! We can get in very bad danger not just from the cops knowing what we look like, but from the very dangerous people!"

You were panting heavily after the very long rant. Toji grinned at Shiu and he fucking smiled back, you were about to continue calling them both immature this time but you got cut off.

Toji was the one to talk first. "Such a brat." Shiu nodded and let out a huff before replying. "Last time I checked they need to be punished."

You should be yelling more but the way that Shiu grinned with a cigarette poking out of his rosy lips and Toji's deep raspy laugh just made your thighs squeeze shut and you get wet.

"Well she got quiet." Shiu commented. "Lets get her back to the office, eh Toji? Maybe make sure she makes other noises. Not the bratty ones; but the bratty ones are cute though."

_

You all eventually get to the office from the long car ride. Before Shiu even fully closes the door Toji's stuck to your body, kissing your neck like a hungry man. He really was hungry for you, for your body.

Shiu lights one of his cigarettes, some smoke filling the room. "Toji put her on the desk." Shiu commanded in that cold stern voice that made your juices practically drip down your legs because you were so wet and needy.

Toji picked you up throwing you over his shoulder smacking your ass and you let out a small needy whine. While Shiu sat down on the chair at his desk still smoking.

Toji put you beside the area where Shiu was sitting so he could get a full view of what he's gonna do to you. Shiu just kept smoking as Toji undressed you.

Toji slid up your dress and made out a deep chuckle, you tried to close your legs for some friction but obviously Toji didn't let you.

"No panties or bra? Such a little slut, you wanted this." He was about to take off your red heels that have ropes that wrap around your calves. But Shiu obviously thought it was hot. "Keep the heels on."

He did just that.

Toji tried to quickly undress but you were letting out needy whines so Shiu stood up and put his cigarette in your mouth. He put his lips to your forehead and rubbed your clit to keep you stimulated.

Toji let out possessive growls he really wanted to touch you.

Once he was finished he pushed Shiu to the side and took the cigarette out of your mouth and threw it back at Shiu. "Don't want the pretty girl to have damaged lungs huh?" He glared at Shiu.

He pumped his big cock. You let out a nervous whine. Shiu held your hand gently as toji lined up with your entrance. Your ass was still on the desk while your legs were around Toji's waist.

"Biggg stretch." Toji mumbled in your ear getting you ready for his big cock. He pushed in and his veins were hitting spots you didn't know existed.

"Toji be more gentle." Shiu commanded. He looked at your poor small hole that was on display for him and chuckled. "Is he big baby?" You nod already cock drunk and it hasn't even been a minute.

Shiu noticed Toji was more pleasuring himself, not even trying to hit your g-spot so he stood up and whispered in his ear. "Thrust up a little, and go a little deeper."

He did exactly that and you practically screamed. Shiu had a small (big) problem. The way your pants and whines got louder because of his help just made the tent in his pants tight.

He sat back down before taking out his cock and pumping it slowly, teasing himself. "Thrust harder." Shiu said breathy. Toji's lips pressed to yours in a way that made your legs shake around him.

"I-I'm gonna cum!" You holler out. "Take it from the back." Shiu whined this time and that beautiful noise he made just made you squeeze around Toji so hard and get impossibly wet. Toji pulled out and made you get off the desk and bend over holding it. He slapped your ass before plunging in.

"Fuck your tight..." Toji moaned out. Shiu took some shaky pictures of your fucked out face drooling on his desk.

"Rub her clit- fuck." Shiu grunted out, once again Toji complied to his exact requests. He wanted to make you feel good! He never wanted to admit but, a big reason why he's listening is because, Shiu is a bit more experienced.

Toji wanted to cum so bad but he kept thinking of the ugliest things. It was worse especially when someone was watching. His fingers quickened on your clit making sure he was safe from cumming first.

The pleasure was mind shattering, the combination on his tip hitting your cervix and sliding out and massaging your g-spot made you feel absolutely nothing but his dick and those throbbing veins making you feel so good.

You felt your orgasm coming quick. "I-I'm gonna cum Toji!" You let out a little high pitched moan. "Harder and rub her clit quicker." Shiu commanded once again in that breathy tone that made your knees buckle.

The way his cock bruised you so nicely, Shiu's commanding tone that makes your mouth water. His hips smacking your ass so fast, his thick cock makes you squeeze so tight around him.

"Cum inside Toji."

That sentence you spoke in that breaking voice, that voice that clearly wants your insides painted white. The gross things didn't work anymore, he came instantly with a loud groan, you came right after with a beautiful moan.

You squirted, mixing with his cum as he fucked it back in with his cock. He pulled out, both of your juices and cum rolled down your legs.

He kisses your neck and grabs Shiu's tie that was hanging loosely around his neck to clean your messy thighs and pussy. Shiu grunted when he messed up his tie but he's gonna use it for personal matters later anyway.

Toji picked you up kissing your fucked out face as you leaned into his warmth. Unfortunately Shiu hasn't had an orgasm yet and has just been teasing himself.

"Well Toji you had your shot, my turn."

୨୧・・・・୨୧

A/N: omfg i had to re-write it twice bc it deleted the draft i'm so pissed

Um the toji one from the sexual tension??? On my knees begging for a full onee

Kisses ❤️🤤

Okayyy sure. Your wish is my command (●♡∀♡)...

MDNI

Master list's

⯌ Sum

Read this (◕દ◕) and go to the Toji one! Its basically an elongated version of it.

⯌ Wc

2.7k

⯌Warnings

fem!reader, dom toji, a LOT of sexual gun play, teasing, degradation, edging, begging, aftercare, clit stimulation, begging, 'daddy' terms, cum eating, oral (f! receiving)

You had always been a sucker for dark, thrilling stories, but the book you recently got your hands on had done something different to you. One particular scene had been burned into your mind, refusing to let go. It had been filthy, raw—she had been at his mercy, his gun cold against her heated skin, teasing her, fucking her. It was dangerous. Forbidden. And yet, the idea of it had you pressing your thighs together every time it crossed your mind.

Maybe it was because you were ovulating, hormones making every little thing set you off, your body aching for touch. Or maybe it was just Toji.

Toji Fushiguro.

God, that man was a walking temptation. All rough edges and raw masculinity, exuding danger with every move he made. He was built like a predator—tall, strong, broad, and powerful, with a presence that commanded attention. His sharp green eyes, that teasing smirk, the deep rumble of his voice that sent shivers through your entire body—it was all too much. You swore you could stare at him for hours, drinking him in like he was something divine.

And tonight, he was even more intoxicating.

He had just come back from a job, the scent of gunpowder and sweat still clinging to him. His black shirt stretched across his broad chest, the fabric clinging to every muscle, every ridge and dip of his powerful frame. His arms, thick and veined, flexed as he adjusted the weapon in his grasp, the dark metal of the gun gleaming under the dim light.

You swallowed hard, unable to tear your gaze away.

It wasn’t just him that had your body heating up—it was the gun in his hand. The way his fingers curled around it, his grip strong, commanding. You could already imagine it against your skin, the cold steel dragging over your thighs, pressing between your folds, gliding through your slick heat. The thought alone sent a fresh wave of arousal pooling between your legs.

Your breathing grew heavier, chest rising and falling as you clenched your thighs together, desperate for relief. The air between you grew thick, electric, and when you dared to meet his gaze, you knew you had been caught.

Toji’s smirk widened. His sharp eyes darkened, amusement flickering behind them as he took slow, deliberate steps toward you.

He knew.

Of course, he fucking knew.

He had always been good at reading you, always one step ahead, always knowing exactly what you needed before you even said a word.

Lifting the gun slightly, he waved it in the air with a cocky tilt of his head.

"You want somethin’, doll?"

His voice was deep, smooth, laced with that dangerous amusement that sent a shiver down your spine. He was enjoying this—watching you squirm, watching you try to keep yourself together while your thoughts ran filthy with the things you wanted him to do.

Your lips parted, but no words came out. Your throat was dry, mind hazy, and all you could do was stare at him, at the gun, at the sheer dominance he exuded without even trying.

He chuckled, the sound low and dark, stepping even closer until his scent filled your senses.

"You keep lookin’ at me like that, sweetheart," he murmured, voice a husky drawl, "I’m gonna start thinkin’ you got somethin’ filthy on your mind."

Your breath hitched.

You did.

And from the way his gaze roamed over you, taking in every little reaction, every subtle shift of your body—he was ready to pull every single dirty thought right out of you.

Here's the continuation of your scene, diving deeper into the tension and build-up:

Your breath hitched at his words, your fingers twitching at your sides as heat burned through your body. You knew Toji was playing with you, drawing it out, making you squirm under his gaze. He loved watching you like this—flustered, needy, desperate without him even having to touch you yet.

Your mouth felt dry as you swallowed, trying to form words, but they died in your throat when Toji took another step closer. He towered over you, his presence suffocating in the best way, his sharp green eyes locking onto yours like he could see right into your mind.

Like he could already hear the filthy, desperate thoughts racing through your head.

He lifted the gun slightly, turning it between his fingers, his grip steady and effortless. The sight of it had your thighs clenching involuntarily.

“Oh?” Toji drawled, tilting his head. “What’s this now?” His smirk deepened when your breath shuddered, the way your body reacted giving you away completely. “This little thing got you all worked up, huh?”

Your face burned, but you couldn’t deny it. Not when your body was betraying you so obviously.

Toji exhaled a low chuckle, stepping in until your back hit the wall, his body caging you in. His scent was intoxicating—gunpowder, sweat, and something uniquely him. His free hand reached out, fingers tracing a slow path down your arm before stopping at your hip, gripping you firmly.

“Y’know, doll…” His voice was a quiet rumble, smooth and deliberate. “You keep squeezin’ your thighs like that, I might just have to see what’s got you so damn wet.”

Your breath hitched, a soft whimper escaping your lips before you could stop it. Toji’s smirk widened, his fingers digging into your hip, keeping you pinned in place.

“You want it, don’t you?” he murmured, bringing the gun up, running the cold metal along the side of your neck. A shiver shot down your spine at the sensation, the contrast of the cool steel against your burning skin making you tremble. “You’ve been thinkin’ about this all day, huh? Maybe even longer?”

Your lips parted, but your voice was barely above a whisper.

“Toji…”

That was all it took.

Something dark flickered in his eyes, his amusement turning into something heavier, something more dangerous. He ran the barrel of the gun down your throat, over your collarbone, tracing the curve of your body before stopping just above the swell of your breasts.

“You’re somethin’ else,” he muttered, his tongue running over his teeth as he took you in. “All hot ‘n bothered ‘cause of a damn gun. Fuckin’ filthy, baby.”

You bit your lip, your breathing uneven, body tensing in anticipation.

Toji pressed the gun lower, just below your navel, teasing. The weight of it sent a new rush of heat between your thighs, your body betraying you even more. You were soaked—he hadn’t even touched you properly yet, and you were already a mess for him.

Toji noticed. Of course, he did.

He let out a low chuckle, his grip on your hip tightening as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear.

“You’re lucky I like my girls filthy,” he murmured, voice rough and dripping with hunger. “Now, why don’t you be a good girl and spread those pretty legs for me?”

His words sent a shudder through your entire body, your knees nearly giving out as the anticipation threatened to consume you whole.

Toji pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his smirk turning downright predatory as he tapped the gun lightly against your inner thigh.

“C’mon, doll,” he purred, eyes dark and hungry. “Let me see how bad you really want it.”

And fuck, you did.

Your breath came in short, shallow gasps, your chest rising and falling as Toji dragged the cold metal of the gun along your inner thigh. The contrast between the icy steel and the heat pooling between your legs had your entire body trembling. Your fingers twitched at your sides, desperate for something to hold onto, something to ground you—but he wasn’t going to let you have that kind of control. No, this was all him.

Toji exhaled another low chuckle, watching you like a predator toying with his prey. “Look at you,” he mused, his voice a deep, husky drawl. “Fuckin’ shaking, and I haven’t even done anything yet.”

You swallowed hard, your thighs squeezing together involuntarily—but Toji was quick. The gun pressed between them, forcing them apart with just enough pressure to make your breath hitch.

“Ah, ah,” he tutted, shaking his head. “That’s not what I asked, doll.” His eyes gleamed with something wicked as he gave a slight nudge, pushing the gun higher, teasing you. “I said, spread ‘em.”

A whimper escaped your lips before you could stop it. Your body obeyed before your mind even caught up, your legs parting just enough for him to slot himself even closer, for the gun to press even higher up your inner thigh.

“Good girl,” Toji praised, his smirk deepening. “See? That wasn’t so hard.”

Your head fell back against the wall, fingers curling into fists as he slowly—agonizingly—dragged the barrel up, up, up, stopping just short of where you needed it most. The anticipation was maddening, your body already dripping with need, aching for even the slightest bit of relief.

Toji tilted his head, watching your every reaction like he was memorizing them, like he was savoring the way you shivered, the way your body responded so perfectly to him.

“So damn needy,” he muttered, tapping the gun lightly against your soaked panties. “Bet you’re fucking soaked, huh?”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back a whimper, but Toji wasn’t having that.

“Words, doll,” he ordered, his voice dark and commanding. “Tell me.”

You exhaled shakily, barely able to think straight as the cold steel pressed against your core. “Y-Yeah…” you admitted, your voice small, breathy.

Toji let out a pleased hum, dragging the gun down, pressing just a little harder against your slit through the thin fabric. You twitched at the sensation, a soft gasp slipping past your lips.

“Fuck,” he muttered, his grip tightening around the weapon. “You really are drippin’, huh?” He let out a low, satisfied chuckle, like this was the best thing he’d ever seen. “Goddamn, baby, all this just from a little gunplay? You’re a real fuckin’ freak, ain’tcha?”

Your face burned, but the shame only made the arousal pool deeper in your stomach. You didn’t care. Not when he was looking at you like that, not when his voice was dripping with amusement and hunger.

Toji’s smirk widened as he leaned in, his lips barely brushing against your ear. “You want me to fuck you with it, don’t you?” he whispered, the words sending a violent shudder down your spine.

A desperate whimper escaped you, your entire body aching, throbbing.

He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, eyes gleaming with wicked delight. “C’mon, doll,” he coaxed, pressing the gun more firmly against you. “Say it.”

Your breath hitched, your entire body trembling as you finally gave in.

“Yes,” you whispered, voice raw with need. “Please, Toji.”

That was all it took.

Toji let out a low, dark chuckle, his free hand reaching up to grip your jaw, forcing you to look at him. His thumb traced over your bottom lip, his expression filled with pure, unfiltered hunger.

“Fuckin’ filthy,” he murmured, eyes dark and hooded. “I fuckin’ love it.”

Without another word, he pulled the gun away, just for a second—before pushing your panties to the side, the cold metal pressing directly against your dripping folds.

A sharp gasp tore from your throat, your entire body jolting at the sensation. The cold steel, the weight of it, the sheer taboo of what was happening—it was all too much.

Toji let out a low groan, watching you squirm. “Shit, baby,” he muttered, pressing the barrel right against your swollen clit, dragging it up and down with agonizing slowness. “Look at you. So fuckin’ wet for me.”

Your head fell back, a whimper escaping your lips as he continued his slow, torturous movements.

“Let’s see just how much you can take, yeah?” Toji purred, voice thick with dark amusement.

And with that, he pressed the gun even lower, teasing your entrance—before slowly, deliciously, pushing it inside.

The air between you was thick with something heavy—something that made it impossible to think straight. Toji had you pinned, his body heat seeping into yours, his grip firm yet teasing, like he was daring you to break first.

You swallowed hard, your breath uneven as he tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. His smirk was lazy, knowing, like he was taking his time just to watch you unravel.

“You wanna act all shy now?” he murmured, voice deep and taunting. “After the way you were lookin’ at me? After sittin’ here, practically droolin’ over my gun?”

Heat bloomed across your skin, a mix of embarrassment and something far more dangerous. Toji saw it all—the way your thighs twitched, the way your fingers clenched like you didn’t know whether to push him away or pull him closer.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Cute,” he muttered, running his thumb over your bottom lip. “But we both know better, don’t we?”

Your breath hitched as his grip on your wrist tightened, keeping you right where he wanted. His free hand ghosted over your thigh, his touch deliberate, teasing. Not quite giving you what you wanted—just reminding you that he could, that he was in control.

“You want me to play with you, don’t you?” His voice was low, dripping with amusement. “Wanted this all along.”

You bit your lip, heat pooling in your stomach.

Toji leaned in, lips brushing against your ear as he murmured, “Say it.”

Your heart pounded, the weight of his words settling over you. He wasn’t going to let you have this easy. He wanted to hear you admit it—to hear you beg.

Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, the scent of gunpowder and sweat filling your lungs.

“…Yes,” you whispered.

Toji smirked, his fingers tightening around your thigh. “That’s my girl.”

His grip shifted, his body pressing just a little closer, his breath hot against your skin. His touch was slow, deliberate, meant to drive you crazy—meant to make you crave him even more.

“We’re gonna have some fun tonight,” he murmured, his voice dark with promise.

And with that, he finally gave you what you’d been waiting for.

He thrusted his gun in and out at a quickening pace. The ridges on the gun hitting your sweet spots and you let out little whines. That only brought him to thrust it faster.

His thumb was rubbing quickening circles on your clit to bring you further to the edge. Then he randomly stops and you pout and let out a small whine. Your edge slowing fading away leaving you to throb and squirm as he leaves his thumb on your clit and his gun on your sweet spot pushing against it.

"Beg."

"Toji what?!" You angrily say. He lands a slap to your pussy with his free hand and you yelp. "Don't fucking give me attitude brat." For some reason it turned you more on and got you wetter.

He slaps you again and you moan louder. "You slut. This shit shouldn't turn you on but here we are. And back to what I said. Fucking beg. I didn't stutter."

He moves the gun slightly to tease you. And that was your breaking point. "Please, please, make me cum daddy, please." Your eyes glossed over as you said it in a cracked whiny voice.

"Good girl." He thrusts his gun once more. The ridges feeling better then ever. All those sweet spots you didn't know existed. You moan and squirm trying to get away from the overwhelming pleasure.

It's not like you actually want to get away though. You have a save word for that of course. He'd never want to hurt you.

He rubs your clit even faster and gun thrusts, you squirt and he quickly replaces his gun with his fingers. He pulls his fingers out and licks them. He absolutely loves your taste.

He needs more though. He dives down and spreads your folds with his fingers seeing the cum strings. "Messy girl." He mumbles before lapping your folds and clit.

You cum on his tongue one last time. He then brings you up holding you close and then pecks your lips. "I love you."

⯌Aftercare ⯌

MDNI

Master list's

After Toji fucked you raw you were letting out little whines and shaking a bit and some tears fell from your face. Maybe he took it a bit too far. No matter how tough he pretends to be he will always have a soft spot for you. He's gentle when making love, but when he fucks he sluts you out and is the complete opposite of gentle. So that's what just happened.

But he usually feels bad after fucking you raw like that. He usually cups your pussy and you whine from overstimulation. "Sweetheart? Come on talk to me." He kisses your nose and rubs his big warm hand on your stinging red ass from hitting it so hard. He holds you close giving gentle kisses and small, gentle "sh" when you let out a small whimper when he massages your sore muscles.

After letting you relax he picks you up princess style and starts a bath holding you the whole time. Since the both of you are already naked you both go in the tub instantly. He kisses your shoulder massaging your pussy gently rubbing small gentle rubs on your clit and play with your folds.

You cum on his fingers and picks you up caring you out of the water drying you and bringing you out of the room. He puts on pretty pink lacy panties and one of his shirts. He just puts on boxers for some decency- mostly for you.

He then holds you close until you fall asleep quickly and kisses your face then falls asleep with his lips on your forehead. <3

⯌How JJK Characters Eat Pussy⯌

୨୧・・・・୨୧

MDNI (Obv the title 😙)

Master list's

⯌Sum

How JJK men eat pussy ୧(＾ 〰 ＾)୨

⯌ Wc

Satorus: 2.6k

Tojis: 2k

⯌ Warnings

cullingness (oral), squirting, over stimulation, masturbating, sex toys, cum eating, p → v, degrading, a couple of the boys read your 'books' and ya'll recreate it (not all of them), semi public sex, fingering, the boys are down BAD, some sorta slow burns, breast sucking and pinching

⯌ The men

Satoru Gojo, Toji Fushiguro

୨୧・・・・୨୧

Satoru Gojo

You were out shopping with Satoru's black card, while he got bored alone at home. He went from laying on the bed. To look through your underwear drawer- perv. To looking through your books. You specifically told him no, butttt, he is well- himself, so he looked through the first couple books taking them out of the shelf.

He first pulled out Charlotte's web reading it. Cute. But a little sad. He put it back and saw a series, which seemed to be four books with twisted in front of the words, seemed to be a series. Interesting. He pulled out a book called 'twisted games', he flipped through a few chapters. Seemed to be about a body guard and a princess.

He flipped to a book marked page. Chapter 32. He flipped through a couple pages until he got to a certain spicy scene.

You weren't royal, but you were going to dinner at the Gojo clan, which does have a throne... which would be fucking perfect.

_

Since you were done shopping you needed to be picked up. You sat perched on the bench sitting all cute and pretty. He speeds and slams on the breaks in front of you.

His Lambo (that he loves flexing), is black with baby blue highlights and accents to match his eyes. It is overall extreme.

"Hey pretty girl!" He said in the car running out holding you tight. God he never loses energy. But he's a weirdo, your weirdo. He kissed you all over your face.

He sees your bags from the expensive store you just and takes them from you. He picks you up and opens the back seat of his car and brings you to sit on his lap. He slams the door shut while you sit on his thigh with the shopping bag on the other.

He pulls out a baby pink silky tight spaghetti strap dress. "Ooo, it's pretty, you're wearing this to the restaurant!" He giggles like a child. You don't question it, he is an idiot. But you love him.

"Where will I change?" You question, his tint on the windows were very dark but still some privacy would be nice. "Here, no one would see you pookie, you're fine." You sigh at his childish reply but you let out that annoyed sigh, and he squeals with excitement.

He takes off your shirt, and kisses the top of your breast. He takes off your bra and kisses your cheek, then he starts to slowly and sensually kiss your neck, he takes off your pants and underwear. He kept your heels since he had a thing for them.

He pulls back and pulls some lingerie out of the bag. It was the same baby pink that the dress had. He put it on you, the lace clinging to your skin nicely. Its just a matching bra and panties but he thinks its the hottest thing he's ever seen in his life.

He slides on the silky dress over it and your hair softly falling to your shoulders, it perfectly frames your gorgeous face. He feels like he's gonna explode.

He feels his cock slightly hardening. But he has to go to dinner with the clan, with you.

He swallows hard, forcing himself to focus. He can’t get distracted—not yet. The clan is waiting, and as much as he’d rather keep you to himself, he has to show you off.

"You look so damn good, baby," he murmurs, his hands running down your sides as he pulls you closer. His breath is warm against your cheek, his lips teasing your skin before he finally, reluctantly, leans back. "But if we don’t leave now, I swear I’m not gonna be able to control myself."

You smirk, knowing exactly what you're doing when you adjust yourself on his lap, the silky fabric of your dress shifting just enough to tease him. His grip on your waist tightens. "Pretty, you're playing a dangerous game," he warns, his voice husky, but you just laugh.

"Then let’s go before you lose."

He groans dramatically but lifts you effortlessly, placing you in the passenger seat before grabbing the wheel. The engine roars to life, the deep purr of the Lambo vibrating through your body. He speeds off, his hand already finding its place on your thigh, tracing small circles absentmindedly.

The city lights blur past, neon reflections streaking across the windshield as he races through the streets. His grip tightens every time you shift in your seat, your dress riding up ever so slightly, teasing him further.

"You tryna kill me before we even get there?" he mutters, glancing over with a smirk.

You lean closer, voice soft and teasing. "Just making sure you don’t lose energy before dinner."

His laughter fills the car, bright and carefree. "Oh, baby, you have no idea."

Within minutes, you arrive at the clan house, an exclusive, high-end spot with velvet ropes and a valet already waiting. He parks recklessly, as always, tossing the keys to the stunned valet before stepping around to open your door. He takes your hand, pulling you close, and you can feel the heat in his gaze as his eyes rake over you once more.

"You ready?"

"When am I not?"

With that, he leads you inside, the night just getting started.

The Gojo clan’s estate is grand—almost absurdly so. Ornate chandeliers dangle from high ceilings, the marble floors polished to perfection, reflecting the warm glow of golden lights. The entire place drips with wealth and power, a kingdom in its own right.

Satoru, of course, walks in like he owns the place. Because, well, he basically does. His hand is firm on your lower back, guiding you through the halls with that ever-present cocky smirk.

"Everyone's gonna lose their minds when they see you," he whispers in your ear. "I might have to fight off some admirers."

You roll your eyes, but the warmth in your chest is undeniable.

As soon as you step into the grand dining hall, heads turn. Conversations falter. The Gojo elders, clan members, and high-ranking sorcerers are all seated at the long table, their expressions ranging from curiosity to approval.

One of the elders, a graying man with sharp features, eyes you with intrigue. "Satoru," he says, tone even. "You’ve finally decided to bring someone worthy to dinner."

Satoru just grins. "Of course. Only the best for me."

You feel the weight of their gazes, but you stand tall. This isn’t just a dinner—it’s a test. A silent evaluation. But you won’t give them the satisfaction of intimidation.

Satoru pulls out a chair for you at the head of the table—right next to his own. A power move, you realize. He’s making a statement. You’re not just here as arm candy. You’re here as his equal.

Dinner is a blur of rich food, wine, and idle conversation, but Satoru barely touches his meal. His fingers stay busy—tracing circles on your thigh beneath the table, his grip tightening when you shift just right.

At one point, he leans in, his lips grazing your ear. "You know… there’s a throne in the next room." His voice is pure sin. "Just saying."

Your breath hitches.

You should’ve known. That book—Twisted Games. He read it. And now, he wants to recreate it.

"Satoru," you warn, voice barely above a whisper.

He just chuckles, eyes glinting with mischief. "Oh, princess, I always get what I want."

And with that, dinner suddenly feels like the least interesting part of the night.

Well the clan talked business with Gojo he stuck his hand under your dress. He gently massages your pussy gently. He sticks his finger inside curling it just right. Your face flushed as he kept talking business.

You try to keep your expression neutral, focusing on the conversation around you, but Satoru's fingers are relentless. His touch is slow, teasing—just enough to drive you crazy without giving you the satisfaction you need.

Across the table, one of the elders directs a question at him, and he answers smoothly, as if he isn’t up to anything at all. His confidence, his sheer audacity, makes your breath hitch. You grip his wrist under the table in warning, but he only smirks, leaning in close.

"You’re doing so good, princess," he whispers against your ear, his voice laced with amusement. "Looking all innocent while you’re falling apart for me."

Heat floods through you, but you shoot him a glare. Two can play this game.

Slowly, you shift in your seat, pressing your thigh more firmly against his hand, subtly grinding into his touch. His breath hitches just slightly—so quick that no one else would notice, but you do. You smirk, tilting your head toward him, your lips barely brushing his jaw as you whisper, "Careful, Satoru. I don’t think you’d want them to see how desperate you are."

His fingers twitch against you, his restraint thinning. His grip on your thigh tightens before he suddenly withdraws his hand, leaning back in his chair, eyes dark with unspoken promises.

"Just wait until dinner’s over," he murmurs, low and dangerous. "Then we’ll see who’s really in control."

You swallow hard, heart pounding, because the look in his eyes tells you one thing—he's just getting started.

Dinner feels like it stretches on forever. The clan talks business, politics, and the balance of power, but your mind is elsewhere—on the lingering heat of Satoru’s touch, on the way his leg presses against yours beneath the table, on the undeniable promise in his voice.

He’s smug, of course. Acting as if nothing happened, chatting casually with the elders while swirling his wine, but you catch the flicker of impatience in his fingers, the way he taps them against the stem of his glass. He’s biding his time. Waiting.

When dinner finally concludes, the elders begin to rise, exchanging pleasantries as they move toward the lounge for after-meal discussions. Satoru, ever the perfect heir, flashes them a lazy grin, offering vague responses before turning to you.

His hand finds yours. His grip is firm—possessive. "Come with me," he murmurs, tugging you to your feet.

You don’t resist. You already know where this is going.

He leads you through the grand hallways of the estate, past gilded doors and intricate tapestries, until he reaches a particular room. He pushes open the heavy double doors, revealing a dimly lit chamber adorned with deep blues and silvers—a room that screams power and legacy.

And there, at the centre, sits the throne.

Your breath catches.

The seat is grand, carved from dark wood with intricate engravings curling along its arms. A symbol of authority, of dominion.

Satoru steps behind you, his hands sliding over your waist. He leans in, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. "You know," he murmurs, "I think you'd look perfect sitting there."

You turn in his arms, arching a brow. "Is that so?"

His smirk is pure arrogance. "Mm. Thought I’d let you play queen for a bit. Before I remind you who really holds the power."

Your stomach tightens at the dark edge in his voice. He reaches for you again, but this time, you step back, lowering yourself onto the throne deliberately, running your hands along the armrests as if testing your own reign.

Satoru watches you with a hungry gaze, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. "Oh, you’re really pushing it, aren’t you?"

You tilt your chin up, feigning innocence. "I thought you wanted me to play queen."

His laugh is low and dangerous. He steps closer, placing his hands on the armrests, caging you in. His presence is overwhelming, his scent intoxicating.

"Oh, I do," he murmurs, gaze flickering to your lips. "But don’t forget, princess—" He leans down, his breath hot against your skin. "Kings always take what they want."

And just like that, the game shifts.

Satoru’s grip on your waist tightens, and his smirk deepens as he notices the way you’re reacting to him. You feel the weight of his gaze on you, and despite yourself, your heart races, the anticipation almost unbearable.

“Careful, princess,” he murmurs, his voice low and teasing. “You’re making it so hard for me to keep my hands to myself.” His fingertips graze your skin, sending sparks of warmth everywhere he touches.

You sit there, the throne beneath you feeling both like a pedestal and a prison as Satoru moves closer, the space between you narrowing to almost nothing. His scent—sweet, rich, and intoxicating—fills your senses. You swallow, your pulse quickening.

“You’re always so confident,” you tease, your voice barely above a whisper. "Do you always get what you want?"

Satoru chuckles, the sound warm and dangerous, his hand lifting to touch your cheek. “I don’t just get what I want, baby,” he says, his thumb brushing across your bottom lip, “I take it.” His eyes darken, and you feel the intensity of his gaze like a physical weight.

You can feel the tension between you thickening, the chemistry undeniable. Your pulse races in your ears, and for a moment, everything else fades away. It’s just you, him, and the overwhelming desire that crackles in the air between you.

“Do you want to see just how much I take?” Satoru’s voice is barely a whisper, but it cuts through the silence like a promise.

You meet his gaze, every fiber of your being screaming with anticipation. You shift slightly, your legs spreading just enough to give him an invitation.

Satoru leans in closer, the breath between you shallow and warm. His lips brush against your ear, his voice a deep murmur. "I’m going to make sure you never forget this night, princess."

Your heart skips a beat, and you know, without a doubt, that you’re not getting out of this unscathed. He rips your panties off

"Fuck Satoru there gonna see us!" You whisper angrily. "That's why I'm gonna do this." He shoves your wet panties into your mouth, you grunt with a whine following it as he shoves his tongue in your pussy holding on to your thighs like his life depends on it.

You let out muffled whines as the underwear gets soaked with your saliva. You can still taste your wetness on it which gets you more soaked which really, really, turns him on.

He starts plunging into your hole harder with his tongue to get more of that yummy taste. You start shrieking, your moans bouncing off the walls of the paintings of the elders of the Gojo clan. Practically glaring at you.

You whine as he sucks harsher on your clit, trying to get you to squirt because he is obsessed with your pussy juices.

He whines pathetically as your juices drip down your ass and on to the throne. You squirt and he automatically slurps it up. His slurping bounces off the walls with your muffled moans, he pulls back, your teary eyes flutter open but before you can sit up properly, he pulls out his throbbing, leaking cock, and grabs your legs and throws them over his shoulders.

He slams his cock inside your pussy and you yell out your panties falling out of your mouth making your moans and squeals so fucking loud. It makes him cum instantly with a pathetic whine. After a few more thrusts, you squirt with a small scream.

He pulls at and leaves some kisses on your sweaty forehead. Some of his cum dribbles out of your hole. He pulls your panties back up.

"I wanna be clean, your cum is all in my panties..." You whine.

"So? I want you to walk around like the pretty little baby you are, so you know I own you."

୨୧・・・୨୧

Toji Fushiguro

Toji wasn’t used to this—being alone, being needy. But damn it, he was.

He laid on the couch, one arm draped over his face, exhaling sharply. The apartment felt too quiet without you. Usually, you’d be here—curled up beside him, your soft hands tracing absentminded patterns over his chest, your scent lingering in the air.

But now? Just silence. And he hated it.

He scoffed at himself, rubbing a hand over his face. Since when did he get this pathetic? Since when did he miss someone this much? He should be out, distracting himself, doing anything—but instead, he was checking his phone every ten minutes, waiting for a damn text.

With a groan, he rolled over, grabbing your pillow and burying his face in it. It still smelled like you. Fuck.

He’d never admit it, but yeah—Toji Fushiguro was needy for you. And the second you walked through that door? You weren’t getting a moment to yourself.

Toji let out a low, frustrated groan, rolling onto his back as he stared at the ceiling. His hand rested over his stomach, fingers twitching slightly. It had been hours since you left, and his body was reacting in ways he really didn’t want to deal with alone.

The scent of your perfume on the pillow, the memory of your soft body against his just last night—it was messing with him. Badly. His jaw clenched as he exhaled, adjusting his position, but that only made things worse. His sweatpants were too tight now, his body betraying him, aching for you in a way that made his patience snap.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he muttered, running a hand through his dark hair. He could call you, tell you to get back here now—but he knew you’d just tease him, drag it out, make him suffer. And normally, he’d enjoy that little game. But right now? Right now, he was desperate.

His fingers flexed at his side as he let out a slow, irritated breath.

Toji groaned, running a frustrated hand through his hair as he glared at his phone. His patience was wearing dangerously thin.

"Yeah, I need you to hurry the hell up."

Your reply was instant.

"Chill, I’m almost done. What’s your problem?"

He scoffed, shifting against the couch. His problem? You. You were his damn problem.

"You left me here to suffer, that’s my problem."

There was a pause. Then—

"Oh my god, are you seriously being needy right now?"

Toji let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. Needy? That didn’t even begin to cover it.

"You have no fucking idea. Get home. Now."

Another pause. Then your reply popped up.

"…Or what?"

That did it. If you were gonna play games, he’d make sure you knew exactly what you were in for.

He angled his phone, letting the camera capture the sight of his hand wrapped around his cock—thick, hard, aching for you. He was already leaking, his grip tight as he stroked himself slow, teasing.

Then he snapped the picture.

Sent.

Less than a minute later, your typing bubble appeared—then stopped. Then started again.

"Toji."

He smirked, lazily dragging his hand up and down.

"You started this, baby. Better finish shopping fast."

No response.

Toji chuckled darkly, gripping himself tighter.

"That’s what I thought."

Toji leaned back against the couch, smirking at the silence on your end. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.

His phone vibrated.

"You’re such a menace."

He chuckled, his hand still lazily stroking himself, teasing his own patience.

"And you love it."

Another pause. He could practically see you standing frozen in the middle of the grocery store, gripping the cart with shaky hands.

"Toji, I swear to god, I’m in public."

He grinned, eyes dark with amusement.

"And?"

"You’re impossible."

"You’re still standing there texting me instead of checking out, so I think you like this, sweetheart."

Three dots. Then they disappeared.

Toji groaned, tossing his head back. "Tch. Tease."

He gripped himself tighter, his mind already wandering—picturing the way you’d react when you walked through that door. How he’d have you pressed against it before you even put the damn groceries down.

Another message popped up.

"I’m driving home. Be naked when I get there."

Toji smirked.

"Oh, baby, you have no idea what you just signed up for."

The front door barely had time to shut before Toji was on you.

You let out a startled gasp as your back hit the wood, groceries completely forgotten at your feet. His hands were already on you—gripping your waist, tugging you closer, his body burning against yours.

"You took too damn long," he growled against your neck, his teeth scraping along your skin.

"I was literally gone for an hour, Toji—"

"Too long," he repeated, his tone dark, impatient. His hands roamed, fingers digging into your hips as he pressed himself against you, letting you feel just how hard he still was.

Your breath hitched. "You—You seriously stayed like this the whole time?"

He chuckled, low and dangerous. "Baby, you think I could jerk off and be satisfied when I knew you were coming home to me?" His lips trailed down your jaw, his breath hot against your ear. "Nah, I needed this. Needed you."

Your hands gripped his shoulders, trying to steady yourself as his lips moved down, pressing against the sensitive skin of your throat. "Toji…"

He smirked, tilting your chin up with two fingers. "What?" His green eyes were dark, filled with something hungry. "You told me to be naked when you got here. Thought you wanted this, sweetheart."

You swallowed hard, heat pooling low in your stomach as his hands slid lower.

"I do."

"Good." His lips curled into a smirk. "Then let’s make up for lost time."

Toji didn’t give you a chance to argue. He carried you effortlessly, his grip firm as he walked past the abandoned groceries, straight to the bedroom.

"Toji—"

"Shhh, baby," he smirked, kicking the door shut behind him. "You made me wait long enough."

He tossed you onto the bed, and before you could even adjust, he was on you—hovering, his massive frame caging you in. His dark green eyes roamed over you hungrily as his fingers slid beneath the hem of your shirt, pushing it up, exposing more of your skin.

"Fuck," he muttered, dragging his calloused fingers over your stomach. "Missed this."

"You saw me this morning," you teased, but your breath hitched when he leaned down, lips brushing against your skin.

"Not like this," he murmured against your stomach, voice thick with want. His hands gripped your hips, pinning you in place as he trailed kisses lower, his hot breath making your skin tingle.

Your fingers curled into his hair, tugging slightly, and he groaned, the sound vibrating against your skin. "Fuck, baby." He glanced up at you, his smirk dark and full of promise. "Hope you didn’t make any other plans for the night."

Your heart pounded as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down slowly.

"Because I’m not letting you out of this bed anytime soon."

Toji’s smirk deepened as he hovered over you, his fingers tracing slow, deliberate patterns along your waist. His touch was teasing, his calloused hands warm against your skin.

“Missed you,” he muttered, voice rough with need. His lips ghosted over your collarbone, lingering just enough to make you shiver.

“You act like I was gone for days,” you teased, though your breath hitched when he nipped at your skin.

“Felt like it,” he murmured, pressing kisses along your jaw before tilting your chin up to meet his gaze. His eyes were dark with hunger, but there was something softer underneath—something possessive, desperate.

His hands roamed lower, gripping your thighs as he settled between them. “You kept me waiting, baby. Think you need to make it up to me.”

His voice was playful, but the way his fingers dug into your hips told you he wasn’t joking.

You swallowed hard, your body reacting to the weight of his gaze. “And how exactly do I do that?”

His lips curved into a slow, wicked grin. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ve got a few ideas.”

He leaned in, pressing you further into the mattress, his breath hot against your ear. “And we’ve got all night.”

Toji’s smirk lingered as he leaned in, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. His grip on your hips tightened, his rough fingers pressing into your skin like he was grounding himself—like he’d been waiting all day just to have you close.

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” he muttered, voice low and husky.

You bit your lip, pretending to think. “Mmm, I don’t know, Toji. You seemed pretty occupied earlier.”

His expression darkened with amusement, and he let out a low chuckle. “Oh yeah?” His hand trailed up your thigh, deliberate and slow. “Was that before or after I was falling apart on the phone for you?”

Heat rushed to your cheeks as you remembered the message he’d sent, the way his voice had sounded so wrecked over the call.

He tilted your chin up, making sure your eyes stayed locked on his. “Drive me crazy like that again, baby, and I swear I won’t be so patient next time.”

You shivered at the promise laced in his tone.

His lips brushed against yours—barely a kiss, just enough to make you chase after him. His grin widened at your reaction. “Cute.”

“Toji—”

“Shhh,” he murmured, finally closing the distance, kissing you slow and deep, like he had all the time in the world to make up for the hours you’d been gone.

And judging by the way he was holding you, he had no intention of letting you go anytime soon.

He takes off your clothes fully since he's needy, naked, and fucking hard and leaking. You know he's suffering so he teases him a bit and grabs his cock and jerk it a bit.

He absolutely loses it.

He slams you to the bed slamming his long cock in you with long quick strokes. You choke on your own saliva. His cock hitting your cervix with every quick thrust.

It feels so fucking good that you can't even feel your legs, god, his thick cock veins hitting your sweet spots his sensitive tip bruising your cervix you couldn't think it could get better, until his finger started rubbing fast circles on your clit.

You shriek, about to get yet another noise complaint and orgasm but he cums inside and pulls out when you were on the brink.

"Toji what the hell?" You whine out. He smiles and pushes his cum back inside of you with his finger. "I was about to cum..." You say in a quiet whine.

He ties you up to the bed post your legs and arms spread apart. He's in between your legs leaving hickeys up your thighs he leaves a slow lick up your slit from your cum oozing hole to your clit slightly suckling on it. You try to squirm from your restraints but you can't so you just whimper and beg.

He grins, and whispers. "It's okay baby."

From soft sucks and licks, he suddenly starts aggressively sucking and groaning. He goes from tongue fucking, to clit sucking and its driving you crazy. You try to close your legs but you can't and you holler out with tears rolling down your face.

Your juices drip down his face, but that doesn't stop him. It only encourages him to get more excited, so he licks and suckles harder. You bawl your eyes out and and shake and you so badly want to close your legs.

It feels so good you have at least came 5 times. He had to make you come one last time. He kissed gently your thighs as his fingers work out your orgasm.

_

After all of that he pulls you into his arms. Tight. Kissing your forehead then slowly moved to your lips leaving a peck. You can taste your self on his lips but your too tired and over stimulated to do anything.

He suddenly breaks the silence. "My little squirter."

"Toji-!"

୨୧・・・・୨୧

youre joking, right?

in which: you prank them for april fools… hehe

with: toji, shoko, megumi, geto, gojo, yuuji

main masterlist

𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞…

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 @bernkastel11 How do you think Toji's dick pics would look like?

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: sending nudes, asking for nudes, a nsfw link for a visual for the head canons, Satoru fucks his fist, toji is big with a big cock, mention of a toy

oreo: im so sorry that i've been letting this rot for so long. i've been thinking about satoru a lot so i added him onto this one! Since I think these two would send the most nudes, with gojo sending more goofy pictures than nudes but he still sends a shit ton

𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢

💭 first if you have his phone number you’re locked in, regardless if he had asked you out or not. due to being a hit man he won't give his number out lightly. when it comes to you he couldn't help himself wants to be able to ask for those booty/titty pictures

💭 very generous about sending videos and pictures for you to save when he’s gone. Toji takes pride knowing he’s getting you off with being there, so next to Satoru he sends the most pictures. He does send more lewd pictures than Satoru does.

💭 likes to take those normal stills of his cock hanging, but he always includes something like his hand grabbing onto something. He will get cozy in bed, get his cock wet with lube, make sure he is dripping pre-cum. his cock hanging over his fat balls between his muscular thighs. he knows you’re a wreck he's a big man and he will fuck with your size kink

💭 he’s worked on getting the lighting better, man is calculating down to even the nudes he sends. wants you dripping before you get anywhere close to home. better yet wants you to sneak off to send him some nudes in the bathroom, if you bring a toy prepared for his antics he will cum so fast, rewards you with a shot of cum on his cock, fingers and abs sometimes chest when he shoots high enough

💭 sometimes he gets higher angles of his face, biting into his bottom lip looking so unbelievably horny and cocky. He has his hand around his cock and once again those beautiful abs on display but this time his pecs are in full view too

💭 the angles this man gets, he knows his body well and knows what you like, as the relationship gets better he learns what you like more and changes his style of taking nudes to fit that, occasionally he will get lazy with it and send his cock hanging with a message "Gonna make you cry with this fat cock"

link (he hangs and he bangs)

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

💭 mostly sends you goofy ass pictures explaining his day and giving you various thoughts. randomly sends a dick pic followed by a video of him shirtless blushing, moaning in the bathroom jerking himself off with your underwear. or of one grabbing his cock through his pants asking for some nudes

💭 has he been walking around with it all day? yes he has and will continue to do so especially if he fucked ya before heading to work. He loves calling these nudes artsy in account of “Look how the color brings out the pink of my cock head and how good the lace looks wrapped around underneath. You can not tell me you aren’t thinking about throwing it back on my pretty dick.”

💭 sometimes you get a random audios of satoru moaning, you can hear the slick sounds of him jerking himself off. satoru wants you to ask for pictures so he can tease you about wanting to see him

💭 might have set you a picture of him in some white cat ears, a snagged tooth, oversized shirt with his cock peeking out holding the fabric up because he stands in attention for that pussy. It was an ‘accident’

💭 prefers videos to photos, he loves to talk about how he is thinking about fucking you. sometime he puts the phone under his cock and fucks his fist letting you see his balls occasionally come into frame

💭 all the cum shots with his face always included so you can see the pleasure on his face. especially after glow photos with just his blushing face, will tell you want thoughts of you or what picture(s) or outfit he was picturing you in got him hard

link (will still be fucking his fist waiting for you to text back)

oreo creampie's m.list

can you do toji? Like where he comes back home to see you but your gone and he would start to panic because he doesn't know where you are and wondering if you left him and the reader left to go shopping for groceries and we wrote a note for him and telling him we was leaving to shop but he forgot and thought we left him Completely until we returned to the house with groceries and Toji on the floor crying? 😼 I hope this makes sense this is my first time requesting this 😊

Running Errands, Not Away

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: SFW fic, sad pathetic Toji, established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, domestic fluff, panic attack, a couple of swear words

A/N: Thank you so much for your request @sleepypulm ! You were the first to ask so I'm extra grateful to you <3. I got a little carried away and I didn't expect to write so much haha. I tried to do both Toji and reader POV. I hope my illustration of his panic was atleast a little realistic, going off my own experiences. I really hope you like it!

(image found on Pinterest)

Toji Fushiguro fears nothing. Why should he? He is the infamous Sorcerer Killer, after all. Sure, he doesn’t have any cursed energy. But that never stopped him, in fact even the Time Vessel Association begged for his help. He has hunted many and beaten more. Nothing ever gets in his way. But then he meets you. It’s as if the deeds of his past melt away in your wake, and his sins lay forgiven. The heaviness he carried within him seems insignificant now. You somehow brought back warmth and colour in his life. Sometimes Toji lies awake at night wondering what he did to deserve you. He never figured out why you loved him. He could barely express himself emotionally. He was a broken man from the inside and he had done everything wrong to fix that- gambling, killing, shady deals. Yet you never begrudged him of his shortcomings. All you did was love him. Quietly and loudly, through actions and words, in public and in private. You introduced him to all your friends, dragged him along to Sunday brunches and even made those stupid little sandwiches for picnics in the park. He’d never tell you that he actually loved those sandwiches, despite his protests, each and every flavour.

Which is why this hurt. Worse than when he had almost been gutted trying to take out some Grade 2 sorcerer. Worse than having shards of glass shoved down his throat. Worse than anything Toji had felt before in his miserable life. He had come home after a long day and was looking forward to sleep, you, a cold compress, and food. Not necessarily in that order. The keys jangled in his large hands as he pushed the door open. He called your name - once, twice, thrice. 

That’s odd. No answer. 

You always fling yourself at him like you hadn’t seen him in days every evening when he got home. You’d talk his ear off about your day and steer him to the couch while you asked about his. He had gotten used to this routine and after an initial few days of sulking, he had even leaned into it. But there was only pin-drop silence today. Worry blooms in his chest. Toji tried to tamp it down as he slid his bag off his shoulders. Maybe you were just taking a nap and hadn’t heard him. Or you were in the shower. Yes- that had to be it. Why else wouldn’t you answer him? Unless…

Toji stalks towards the closest door - the study - and flings it open. Nothing but darkness. Obviously unused, he shuts the door and takes off towards the bathroom. He didn’t even bother with the kitchen, the lights were off and only the fridge hummed gently. Nothing in the bathroom either. Toji’s heart was pounding now. That only left the bedroom, and he wasn’t liking his odds. He could see no light coming from underneath the door, but maybe that didn’t mean anything because, of course, you’d turn the lights off when sleeping… right? No such luck. Panic gripped him fully. Toji slowly makes his way over to the bed. The mattress bows under his weight. He can’t stop himself spiralling now. 

You’re just late, that’s all. Probably traffic, work’s been crazy. You’re not the kind to just… leave. You wouldn’t do that, not to Toji. The fight you had last week over taking a trip abroad seems so inane now. Surely that wasn’t the reason. People argue, it’s normal. Maybe you’re at your mom’s. You’ll text him, or call him, or something. You probably just needed some space. Yep, that’s it. That has to be it. 

The silence in the house suddenly becomes suffocating. It pushes its way into his lungs and threatens to take over his senses. Is this what a panic attack feels like? Toji tries to breathe. It’s the first thing they taught him, even before he lifted a weapon. 

Breathe, control your body, control your mind. Panic helps no one, it only disrupts concentration. 

Well, fuck that, Toji thinks. None of his training mattered now. Not when- not when you were just gone. Toji checks his phone one last time. His wallpaper- the picture he took of you laughing after he fell on his ass in the snow- seems to mock him now. Nothing in his messages and nothing in his calls.

You’re gone and it’s my fault, Toji thinks. 

His breathing speeds up. He feels the weight of it all now like it’s crushing his chest. He slips off the edge of the bed, his wide shoulders shaking. His face feels wet and warm- Toji can’t even remember the last time he cried, not like this. His body heaves and his mind betrays him further- What did I do? What did I say? What did I not say? And then it comes down on him, all at once. The sobs he’s been choking down, his denial turning into sharp-edged grief. It feels like he’s stepped into some kind of quicksand and he’s drowning in the absence you’ve left behind. He doesn’t even try to stop it anymore. For once in his life, Toji lets himself feel.

------------------

You hum in tune to the music blasting in your ears. Balancing a checklist in one hand and a shopping basket in another, you take a final sweep of the grocery store and confirm that you’ve gotten everything. It’s your second anniversary with Toji. Last year, you both decided to go to the fair like a couple of lovestruck teenagers and shared a slice of cake (black forest with cherries on top, Toji’s favourite) to commemorate the event. This year, you decided to surprise Toji with a home-cooked two-course dinner. The menu consisted of lobsters on pasta and black forest cake. After paying for the groceries and bidding the cashier a good night, you drive home in the quiet evening. The orange of the streetlamps cast a magical glow on the streets and you marvel at the calm in the neighbourhood. A peaceful night in, you conclude. 

You grab the paper bags and head to your shared apartment. The keys jiggle in the lock and the door creaks open softly. You slip inside and kick your shoes off. The clock on the mantle tells you that you had accidentally stayed out later than planned so you hurry to the kitchen and begin setting things up. As you haul the fridge door open, you hear it. You freeze in place. Was that… a sniffle? Confusion floods your mind. As you cast a glance towards the door, you note Toji’s bag next to the shoe rack. He’s home already? But that means… was that Toji crying? You’re utterly baffled now. Following the source of the noise, you head to the bedroom. 

“Toji?” Your voice is soft but it seems to echo in the stillness. You take another step forward and scan the room. And then you see him- on the floor at the edge of the bed, hunched over, his muscular frame shaking. Your heart twists. You flick the lamp switch on and take cautious steps in his direction. 

“Toji,” you call again, firmer but still gentle. He doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look up. He’s clearly in distress, although you don’t know why. His breathing is uneven and he doesn’t move. A sharp spike of fear courses through you, but you ignore it as you kneel beside him, placing a careful palm on the flat expanse of his back. 

“Hey,” you whisper, struggling to keep your voice steady. “What’s wrong, honey? What happened?”

Toji flinches at your touch and finally looks up. His eyes were lined with red and full of something you couldn’t place- Guilt? Despair? He stares at you for a long moment, as if he’s never seen you before. Your worry increases. You’ve never seen Toji cry. Ever. You can feel your heart breaking. Something must be seriously wrong and you open your mouth to ask him again but he interrupts.

“You—” he croaked, his voice raw from what you assume was hours of crying, “You came back.”

You’re even more confused now but you’re slowly piecing it together. “Toji,” you say firmly, wiping the tear tracks away from his face, “I didn’t leave, you silly man. I went out for groceries. Have you forgotten what day it is today?”

He shakes his head and his breath catches again- it’s like he doesn’t believe you, or won’t. You don’t know what’s worse. 

“I thought,” his voice cracks, “I thought you were gone. That my past, the things I did… I thought you had had enough. That I—,” You don’t let him finish as you pull him towards you, arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. You feel Toji sag against you. His large hands come up slowly, and he clings to you as if you’d vanish if he let go.

You stroke his hair gently and murmur into it, “I’m here, Toji. I’m not going anywhere. I love you. I see you for who you are, and you can’t scare me off, I promise.”

“You didn’t call, you didn’t text… I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend, I know you deserve better than someone like me and I just thought that you’d.. found someone or something better, and that you’d just left me and I wouldn’t blame you but—”

“Toji, stop,” you command. Your heart aches. You had no idea he still had these insecurities and you feel guilt creep in that you haven’t been able to assure him otherwise. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not true, all right? I’m not leaving you. I’d never do that. I love you and we’re in this forever, okay?”

He doesn’t respond so you you just hold him tighter, hoping that your embrace conveys the reassurance your words can’t.

“Toji, I left you a note. You didn’t check the kitchen, did you? I thought that’s where you’d go for a snack after a long day, which is why I left you the note on the counter saying I’d be out for groceries. Oh, you big fool, Toji,” you’re scolding him now, “All you had to do was take two steps into the kitchen. I had to run out for groceries, it’s our anniversary tonight!”

Toji’s stiffens in realisation and he pulls back slightly. Embarrassment flits across his handsome features and he wipes a large paw across his face as if to scrub away traces of the panic that had gripped him earlier.

“Anniversary, huh?” He grumbles now, almost sheepish. “You.. uh.. just getting groceries? I thought—”

You laugh, feeling relief wash away your fears. Of all the times he’d called you melodramatic, it turns out he was the drama queen. You’re grinning now, “I wasn’t leaving you. I’ve been planning our anniversary dinner for weeks! I guess I’ve got to make it up to you now.”

Toji’s face turns a shade of red you’ve never seen before and you lean in to plant a kiss on his downturned mouth. He sighs, but he’s not angry; just embarrassed at himself for not taking a second to consider other logical conclusions. A small giggle escapes you as you watch him pull himself back together.

“I… I’m sorry.” He says it quietly, his eyes cast downward. “I just… I didn’t know, and I freaked out, and I thought maybe... I don’t know... you were done with me.”

You soften at his words, brushing his hair back from his forehead gently before cupping his face in your hands, making him meet your eyes. You run your thumb over the faint white scar across his lips.

“Toji,” you say, your voice tender. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, all right? I don’t care how much you think you mess up or how much you doubt yourself. I love you, and that’s not changing.”

His expression starts to shift as he takes in your words, the tension in his body easing slightly, but his eyes are still filled with uncertainty. “You really mean that?”

“I really mean it,” you reply, your smile softer now. “And as for tonight—let’s just forget about the grocery disaster and make it special anyway, yeah? We’ll laugh about this in a few years. How a big lump like you panicked and cried instead of taking the time to read a piece of paper.”

He chuckles, his hand coming up to gently grip yours as if holding on to that reassurance a little tighter, a smile slowly breaking through the wall of his insecurity.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “I guess we will.”

thank you for reading! i appreciate any feedback. likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated. my requests are open. do not plagiarise my work and/or repost it anywhere without crediting me.

Love Bites Masterlist

You gave Toji Fushiguro a sweet tooth he doesn't want to get rid of.

Baker Fem Reader x Toji Fushiguro (mafia/yakuza au)

tags: Fluff, grumpy x sunshine, found family, a little angsty but nothing too bad, marriage proposal, established relationship, (last chapter only: kitchen sex, creampie, oral- fem receiving, other sexxy funtime stuff)

word ct: 15.1k, 11 Chapters

Chapter One: Apple Cinnamon Spice

Chapter Two: Chimayo Chai

Chapter Three: Mint Chocolate Chip

Chapter Four: Apple Cider

Chapter Five: Pumpkin Spice

Chapter Six: Warm Water

Chapter Seven: Eggnog

Chapter Eight: Sparkling Juice

Chapter Nine: Mint Chocolate Chip Pt. 2

Chapter Ten: Yes

*Bonus!!*

*nsfw

M.list || Ao3 || Twitter || Ko-fi

⌕ pairing: dad alpha!toji fushiguro x daughter omega!reader

⌕ warnings: BLOODCEST, reader goes into heat, piv sex, use of dad/daddy/papa, kind of subspace-ish but just bc of heat, knotting, toji is guilty as hell, a/b/o stuff like pheromones/scent/slick, toji is a dominant alpha, crying. dead dove do not eat! MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI YOU WILL BE BLOCKED

⌕ word count: 2.7k

MORE A/B/O-TOBER HERE!

This was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime. You and your beloved father had planned this vacation months ago, with the hopes of finally having a full two weeks of father-daughter alone time you two had so desperately been craving recently. Between both of your demanding jobs, respective social lives, and other various responsibilities, you barely even got to see each other anymore, outside of when you both came home at night. It had been a rule that you were to eat dinner together every night, and you had upheld that for a long time, but it had gotten to the point where it was no longer feasible.

So, the solution to missing each other? A two weeklong trip to the beach town of your dreams, at an all-inclusive resort that your wonderful dad had spent months saving every last cent to pay for. He had said it wasn’t right to force his beautiful daughter to pay even a single dime for this trip. It was his gift to you. Your gift to him? Just your presence and love.

To be quite honest, you and your dad had a… less than conventional relationship. Your friends found it odd that you still lived with him even though you were plenty financially stable enough to go out into the world on your own, and would surely have much more freedom in doing so. But you just couldn’t leave your beloved dad. Not when he loved you the way he did, cherished you and pampered and spoiled you at every turn. Who in their right mind would ever give that up? Certainly not you. You made it a point to never mention to others that you still slept in his bed every night, put to sleep by his strong arms wrapped tightly around you as you breathed in each other’s familiar scents.

When planning the vacation, you had made sure to schedule it in a timeframe where you would not be in your heat. They had always been fairly regular, so you had just done the math and planned it for when you’d be in the clear. Toji was more than happy to do so, as he wanted you to enjoy this trip completely uninhibited, especially from something so debilitating as a heat. Toji himself wasn’t too worried – in his older age, his ruts had slowed down pretty significantly, and even then, they weren’t ever severe enough to truly hinder his day-to-day life too much.

To say the vacation was much needed would be a vast understatement. The stress of busy lives had melted off both of your shoulders as you basked in the sun on white sand beaches, calmed by the sound of the waves lapping against the shore and sipping fruity cocktails served in coconuts. At night you’d go out dancing, grinding against each other in a drunken haze amongst people who didn’t know your familial relations. Sure, the age difference was apparent, but they didn’t know Toji was your dad. It was so freeing. And if he had kissed you soft and sweet on the dance floor? That secret would go with you to your graves.

Of course, with your luck, the magic couldn’t last forever. In the afternoon of the fifth day, you had started to feel… odd. Twitchy. A little foggy. Your skin felt hotter than normal, but you chalked it up to too much time in the tropical sun. The strange tingling between your legs was just because of… something. Whatever. Nothing was to ruin the vacation of your dreams, so you’ll ignore, ignore, ignore. No need to pay attention to such silly things.

Until it got worse. You had uncharacteristically asked Toji not to cuddle you to sleep that night, which he found profoundly odd, but your skin felt like it was on fire. The thought of anyone else touching you, even your dad, sounded like hell.

And then… even worse. In the wee hours of the night, you woke up gasping and whining. You felt hot all over, a sheen of sweat coating your body. Everything ached, your head felt fuzzy and sharp at the same time, and you could barely breathe. The worst, though? You were so painfully horny, your cunt throbbing and leaking, it was pure misery. There was no denying it anymore – you were in heat. Immediately, you began to panic. This was not supposed to happen.

The only thing you could think to do in your haze was shake the man next to you awake.

“Dad, daddy, please wake up,” you whined, shaking him by his arm.

“Wha- what it is it, sweetheart? Everything okay?” Toji mumbled gruffly, eyes still closed and clearly still mostly asleep.

“I’m in heat.”You could barely get the words out, speaking suddenly feeling impossible.

That woke him up quickly, lurching up. What? W-what do you mean?”

“Heat,” you repeated. “I-I’m in heat,” you damn near cried.

The heat pooling between your legs was getting more unbearable by the second, groaning as you cupped your hand over your throbbing pussy.

“Why? How? We-we planned around it!” he stuttered, staring at you with wide eyes. It was unmistakable, the presentation – despite never seeing you in one for long, he had witnessed the beginning phase of it multiple times.

What really tipped him off, though was your scent. The whole suite reeked of your sickly-sweet scent, pheromones emanating off your shivering body in droves. To say Toji wasn’t affected by it would be a lie. In fact, he scooted back in the bed to try and escape the potent yet divine odor, but there truly was no escape.

Toji wants to panic, unsure of what to do in this shocking moment, but it’s clear you’d beaten him to it. Hyperventilating and scratching at your skin, the panic of an incident so interruptive really settling in. He had to comfort you, and fast.

“Hey, hey, sweetheart, calm down,” he attempts, gathering you in a tight hug to try and soothe you. “It’s okay, I promise. Daddy’s here.” That was the problem. Only daddy was here – no heat partner in sight. While you had no real partner, you had a few alpha friends who didn’t mind helping you out during your heats to ease the pain. Of course, those same friends were a plane ride away, and it’s not like you could ask the alpha next door if they could knot you.

As his eyes trailed down your body, he gulped when he saw the crotch of your sleep shorts was soaked in slick. Fuck.

Fat crocodile tears ran down your burning cheeks as you sobbed in his arms, and all Toji could do was hug you close and rock you side to side. With you so close to him, he had no choice but to inhale your bleeding scent, and he wishes he could rip his nose off. This is not good.

Resigning himself to the situation at hand, Toji sighed. There’s only one way out of this – unless he just locked you in the suite to suffer through your miserable heat alone.

“Calm down, baby, daddy’s gonna help you, okay? Daddy will help you.”

“R-really?” you sniffled, pulling back to look your dad in the eyes, gauging his sincerity.

“Of course, baby. Daddy’s gonna make you feel all better, okay? No need to worry anymore.”

Saying that Toji had never had thoughts like these about you before would be far, far, from the truth. In fact, he’d lost count of the times he’d jerked off in the shower to the thought of burying his cock so deep inside you, you couldn’t breathe, but he always watched the cum swirl down the drain in shame. And you, the same. Your fingers never felt as good as you’d imagined Toji’s would. Even though you were closer than the average father-daughter duo, the two of you had never crossed that line. At least, not yet.

But now, your brain was so addled by this primal state that the implications of what your father was promising you meant nothing. All you could think about was relief.

Toji gulped. There’s no going back now.

“Lay on your back, baby.”

You quickly do as your told, movements far from graceful as you fell from his arms and stumbled back on the bed. Maybe he could just get away with a quick fingering – maybe that would put you back to sleep for now.

Slithering a hand down your sleep shorts, Toji shivered when he felt how soaking wet you were. Pressing the tip of his ring finger just at the rim of your hole had you whimpering, head falling back against the pillow and gripping his arm tight.

“More, please,” you groaned, eyes screwed shut.

“Okay, sweetheart.”

His ring finger slipped into your hole with shocking ease, absolutely no resistance. Clearly your body was well beyond desperate. The gasp and groan you let out was one of pure desperation and distress. The thick finger inside you surely felt nice, but it was still only one – you needed much more.

“More, more,” you whined, gripping his wrist and attempting to force him further inside you.

Toji’s heart pounded in his chest, dread filling his entire body and chilling his blood as the realization that his fingers would almost certainly not be enough. Even worse, the lethal combination of your scent, slick, and whines sent blood rushing south. Fuck.

A second finger dipped inside you, and he began slowly pumping them in and out of your hole, scissoring his fingers apart in a hopeless attempt filling you up enough to beget enough relief. It was simply futile.

Whines and whimpers filled the suite as you bore down on his fingers, taking it into your own hands to push him further inside you. The arousal churning through your veins was intolerable and it just wasn’t enough.

Throwing your arms around his neck, you yanked him towards you, making him stumble and almost collapse on top of you. Hot, frantic breaths fanned across his face as you pressed your forehead against his, involuntary guttural groans escaping your throat.

“Dad, please,” you begged. “P-put it in.”

His heart stopped, blood running cold at your desperate request. Once you crossed that line, you could never go back. Hearing your pained moans though, was addling Toji’s judgement.

“Honey, I…” he started, fingers still pumping in and out of you in hopes of keeping you slightly satiated. “I don’t know…”

Toji fought hard to maintain his composure, but the fact of the matter was, he was still an alpha - and a dominant one at that. Though middle age had relieved him of some of the more undesirable, undeniable traits of such a label, he was only human. One could only fight biology and primal instinct for so long.

“Fuck it.”

Pulling away his fingers despite your protests, he roughly yanked off your shorts and panties, flinging them off the side of the bed before throwing your legs over his shoulders. Tugging his boxers down just enough to pull out his aching cock, wasting no time at all as he forcefully thrusts into you, bottoming out immediately. Your cries were almost certainly loud enough to be heard outside your room, but neither of you could give less of a fuck.

Guttural groans tumbled out of Toji’s mouth as he basks in the feeling of your tight, wet heat clenching hard around his length, thrashing underneath him. Despite his considerable endowment, you had not a single complaint, your pussy clearly frantic to be filled.

“Daddy!” you cried out, throwing your arms around his neck and panting deeply, chest heaving.

“It’s okay sweetheart,” Toji assured, resting his forehead against yours. “Dad’s got you. It’ll be okay.”

It’s not long before he’s building up a considerable rhythm, fucking you hard and deep as you keened underneath him with a constant stream of whimpers and cries. The wet, sticky sound of skin on skin was sweet music to Toji’s ears, encouraging him to pick up the pace – something you were more than happy about.

The primal alpha instincts in him had him digging his nose deep into your neck just over your scent gland, huffing your potent scent like the sweetest drug, soaking up your pheromones that emanated from you. He wasn’t even aware of the way his own pheromones had mixed with yours, the musky odor clouding your senses. It was like you were made just for him, and he just for you. Your pheromones swirled together and encased the both of you in a blissful bubble of primitive desire and ecstasy.

The sex was messy, sloppy, and uncoordinated, having lost any sort of real rhythm in favor of frantically rutting into you, heavy balls slapping against your ass with every desperate thrust. A tiny voice in the back of Toji’s head, what was left of his rational mind, wondered if maybe your heat had catapulted him into rut, but that was no concern to him in the moment.

All you needed, all he wanted was to satiate your burning desire and arousal, to curb your instinctual need to fuck and be fucked, if only for a little bit.

Wanting to feel you deeper, Toji leaned forward to press your knees to your shoulders, allowing him to bury himself deep in your pussy, his tip kissing your cervix. So caught up in the ecstasy, a familiar yet bygone word escaped your lips.

“Papa!” you exclaimed, throwing your head back and gasping.

Papa. A term you had given up well over a decade ago, indicative of how far gone you were. How you had reverted to nothing but pure instinct, recognizing the man fucking you as what he once, and always would be, to you.

Toji almost came right on the spot. A strangled moan came from his throat, his arousal increasing tenfold.

“Say it again,” he demanded, voice deep and gruff.

There was no need to tell you twice. “Papa! Papa! Papa!” you chanted like a perverted spell, entirely unaware of what you were saying, much less the implications.

And Toji does something he swore he wouldn’t do – without halting his movements, he cupped your cheek and crashed his lips against yours. It was messy, all teeth and tongue and spit, but he could no longer keep himself from kissing his sweet, sweet daughter.

“Papa’s got you, baby,” Toji mutters against your lips, punctuating his words with hard thrusts. “Papa’s gonna make you feel so much better.”

The overstimulation of pheromones, messy kisses, and the hardest fuck you’ve ever had, had you hurtling closer and closer to what you so badly needed.

“Gonna come,” you whined, gripping his cheeks and pulling him in for a sloppy kiss.

That had Toji’s heart racing even faster, scared he’d go into cardiac arrest at this point.

“Come for me, baby,” he encourages, kissing you back. “Come for Papa.”

Your next words yet again brutally took him by surprise.

“Knot me, daddy, please.”

Fuck. How is he supposed to deny that?

As your own orgasm crashed over you like a suffocating wave, screams and moans piercing Toji’s ears, he continued to fuck into your oversensitive pussy deeper and deeper until he began to feel the familiar swelling at the base of his cock. And soon enough, he’s damn near howling as he spills hot, sticky cum into your welcoming cunt, balls spasming as they empty themselves inside you. Neither of you were in the right mind to reckon with the potential consequences of that.

Toji’s thick knot had swelled to full size, stretching to a point that had you whimpering, hugging your dad close.

“Hurts Papa, it hurts,” you whined, tears gathering in your glossy eyes.

Toji quickly kisses the tears away, cradling you as best he could. “I know, sweetheart, I know. It’ll go down soon, okay? And we can get some rest, you and me.”

The alpha was far from prepared for how many more of his knots were in your future.