cockamamieman

Latest Posts by cockamamieman

old poem of mine

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I found another dead bird.

As I leaned down to touch its lifeless tail

 (don’t worry, I washed my hands)

A man biked by, beer bottle in hand.

Riding past, he extended both arms

His wingspan swaying with the rhythm of pumping pedals.

My right arm has been itching 

This might be a metaphor for self destruction.

THREW OUT MY BLADES!!!

nobody irl knows that I had any or that I was still cutting so I don’t have anyone to celebrate with

im nervous but this is good. either way, i can always get more if I really want to. but I don’t want to want to anymore?!

this feels weird but it’s good :)

@entities-of-posts

corruption a little bit :-)

I keep mealworms so I have a reliable backup food source for the other animals but they’re surprisingly rewarding pets on their own terms. really fun to drop a piece of food into their enclosure and watch a writing mass of worms instantly envelop it and drag it under the substrate.

"Am I trans?" < "Do I wanna go on HRT?"

i miss cutting so much but I hate the effort of hiding it. im still hiding my old scars though so maybe it doesn’t make a difference?

wish I could cut on my arm . my friend had some babycuts on her wrist today, i know she cuts but it was weird to see them out. i wish I could talk to her about it and we could be cutting buddies.

i might cut tomorrow morning, my family won’t be home.

i won’t say anything weird anymore i prommy (different way of saying promise)

also is my username attracting bots. there are a lot of bots and idk if the potential phallic-ness of cockamamie is contributing. cockamamie man just means that im a silly foolish guy. no peanitz. I can’t sleep :|

lemme tell y’all about kys wizard , my greatest failed joke

it’s pretty much used in the same context as a regular kys joke, or as a comedic ‘fuck you’

essentially i wave my hands like im casting a spell and say “killll yourselffff” in a spooky wizard voice. it’s only funny inside my head. the idea is that im a lame ass wizard who can’t do any magic, but im incredibly ashamed of it and pretend that ‘kys’ is a spell. (no i am not trying to curse you to commit suicide , it’s more of a ‘shittyness’ curse. if it was even a real curse. which it isn’t because im a loser wizard who can’t use magic.)

disclaimer bc I don’t want it to be taken the wrong way. i would only use this with my friends who also make such jokes, i struggle with SI, etc etc. another reason i gave up the joke is because i became closer with someone who disliked such jokes :/

anyways rip kys wizard, you were great in my dreams. still makes me giggle

i am not usually one to repost my tweets and i dont know if tumblr is into chappell roan but i thought this needed sharing (ALSO since i originally drafted this post i went to sleep and woke up with this tweet having over 1000 likes)

It can be really hard to learn to engage in positive self talk, but sometimes it's easier to start by pretending it's coming from a friend, first 💜

The Magnus Archives is a show because if someone says “the episode with the guy who was having bug sex” you need to say “which one?”

Poor Archivist 🕷️

meat && viscera

: - )

i feel like no one really wants to hear that sleep/exercise/nutrition/hydration are major factors in treating mental health issues bc we’ve all talked to that person who thinks your depression would be cured by one good session of goat yoga or whatever but unfortunately they do help and i’m chronically annoyed about it

happy pride to my favorite gif in the world

plsss stop reporting me i am just chilling im just a little guyyyyy :((( im sorry im depressed bro also why do y’all CARE

Reblog to have something lgbt happen to you this summer

I’ll never learn my lesson

New Millipede!!! Sphaerobelum turcosa is a newly discovers species of pill millipede that was recently discovered in the Loei province of Thailand. A team of researchers were doing field work in the Phu Pha Lom Forest when they discovered fourteen of these brightly colored millipedes. Due to their stunning coloration these pill millipedes were nicknamed “The Jewel of The Forest”.

Pill millipedes have convergently evolved a body structure similar to that of isopods (aka roly polies) and have comparatively shorter bodies than other species of millipedes, and like roly polies they will roll themselves into a ball when they feel threatened.

The bright turquoise color of Sphaerobelum turcosa helps warn predators that they are poisonous and not to eat them. This millipede also has tan markings on its exoskeleton that form a mask-like marking that helps to scare off potential predators.

"you don't have to perform around me" sweetheart i have to perform in front of myself

just realized i got blood on my sheets, my cuts must’ve opened a bit while i was sleeping. im trying to think of an excuse for if my mom sees and asks.. i would say a scab from a mosquito bite that i scratched open in my sleep or something, but there’s some pretty distinct lines and she’s already been suspicious of me lately. let’s hope it comes out next time i wash them

I wish sh was normal so I could do it and nobody would question or care if they saw it

can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.

FUCKING HATE BEING TRANSGENDER

"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

How can you see me in all my terrible grief and still look at me like I'm someone you could love