One Time A Kid In My German Class Jumped Over A Table To Fight Someone And Didn’t Even End Up Fighting

i have beven motivated to make a list of the crimes of santa claus. no i will not say why

-promotes toxic masculinity (you better not cry)

-stalking (he sees you when you're sleeping. that's pretty creepy ngl)

-the most common: breaking and entering

-does he pay his elves??? do they have a choice??

-probably doesn't have a license for drivung reindeer

-stealing (takes cookies and carrots. that's very rude)

-forced reindeer to work for like two days nonstop

-favoritism (gives some kids coal and others presents. very rude. it ain't none of your business mr claus)

-doesn't pay rent to live in a whole ass continent. seriously man, you're probably rich, pay your share

-surprising people without permission

-keeping secrets

-not showing his identity (if you know my address & stalk me i deserve to see you)

-forcing people to cheat (i saw my mom kissing santa n. if he stalks people, he def knows she was married)

-on that note, pedophilia (that mom probably wasn't over a hundred years old or sum)

-he also cheated on HIS wife with that mom. why did i like this guy as a kid

-stealing children for help (literally any christmas movie, and you see him kidnapping)

-deception (literally anything he ever does)

-he probably also steals a lot of stuff from us earthlings. where else does he get all that stuff. mans in the north pole

-breaking promises (says he'll get you something for christmas but doesn't)

-probably magics the mailmen. how else do they know where he lives

-forcing those mailmen to go to the north pole coz he was too lazy to come get them. they probably missed dinner too

-reblog with more

we only have orange flavour chocolate the apocalypse is soon

me 

if you ever feel bad just remember one time my friends said i'm like an owl because when you first meet me i seem quite smart but when you get to know me i'm actually quite stupid and stubborn

one time during French  class someone said they wanted to become a teacher and the teacher just told them that they shouldn’t

God having a crush seems like so much effort

my school did a mock election and some year 11s created the communist party of Britain 

Election Day

Kids had stickers and stuff

We got told off for starting multiple riots

Brexit means brexit memes

wE vOtEd LeAvE

You’re a TORY

*Chanting* Labour Labour Labour

Lib Dem really did yeehaw me

Boris is my third cousin

Who did you vote for, sket?

Jeremy Corbyn got manky teeth ya

Fuck it, you can vote UKIP for all I care

Go Vote

Bring back punk

checking your phone in the bathroom at lunch and finding out that there was another school shooting is far too common 

just 👏 because 👏 you 👏 are 👏 older 👏 than 👏 me 👏 does 👏 not 👏 mean 👏 i 👏 have 👏 to 👏 respect 👏 you 👏 if 👏 you 👏do 👏 not 👏 respect 👏 me

apparently i have a distinctive sneeze