Touch Aversion Does Not Need To Be Cured

wow zoom meetings have proven that i have lost the ability to talk to people  

i hope all the tory MPs who voted against free school meals drop dead 💖

apparently i have a distinctive sneeze

laugh tracks are so annoying 

why are you laughing at a guy opening a cupboard like that 

i have beven motivated to make a list of the crimes of santa claus. no i will not say why

-promotes toxic masculinity (you better not cry)

-stalking (he sees you when you're sleeping. that's pretty creepy ngl)

-the most common: breaking and entering

-does he pay his elves??? do they have a choice??

-probably doesn't have a license for drivung reindeer

-stealing (takes cookies and carrots. that's very rude)

-forced reindeer to work for like two days nonstop

-favoritism (gives some kids coal and others presents. very rude. it ain't none of your business mr claus)

-doesn't pay rent to live in a whole ass continent. seriously man, you're probably rich, pay your share

-surprising people without permission

-keeping secrets

-not showing his identity (if you know my address & stalk me i deserve to see you)

-forcing people to cheat (i saw my mom kissing santa n. if he stalks people, he def knows she was married)

-on that note, pedophilia (that mom probably wasn't over a hundred years old or sum)

-he also cheated on HIS wife with that mom. why did i like this guy as a kid

-stealing children for help (literally any christmas movie, and you see him kidnapping)

-deception (literally anything he ever does)

-he probably also steals a lot of stuff from us earthlings. where else does he get all that stuff. mans in the north pole

-breaking promises (says he'll get you something for christmas but doesn't)

-probably magics the mailmen. how else do they know where he lives

-forcing those mailmen to go to the north pole coz he was too lazy to come get them. they probably missed dinner too

-reblog with more

checking your phone in the bathroom at lunch and finding out that there was another school shooting is far too common 

My school's rule about socks for girls basically means that we are never allowed to show our ankles because we are apparently stuck in the Victorian era.

comic sans isn’t actually that bad of a font 

just 👏 because 👏 you 👏 are 👏 older 👏 than 👏 me 👏 does 👏 not 👏 mean 👏 i 👏 have 👏 to 👏 respect 👏 you 👏 if 👏 you 👏do 👏 not 👏 respect 👏 me

my school did a mock election and some year 11s created the communist party of Britain 

Election Day

Kids had stickers and stuff

We got told off for starting multiple riots

Brexit means brexit memes

wE vOtEd LeAvE

You’re a TORY

*Chanting* Labour Labour Labour

Lib Dem really did yeehaw me

Boris is my third cousin

Who did you vote for, sket?

Jeremy Corbyn got manky teeth ya

Fuck it, you can vote UKIP for all I care

Go Vote