And I Fell Into The Same Pit Of Writer’s Block And Disappointment (:

e m p t y / 9

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter nine  — new mornings

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They lived two years in Trost, but it took them one year to live on their own. Even with Lydia's protests —and Jean protested in secret, too—, Beatrice didn't want to be the burden she felt she was, and with her savings of the bread and pastries she did in the local bakery, it was enough for them to move to a house near the gates. Beatrice and [Name] couldn't stop thanking Lydia in opening the door of her home, taking them in as if they were family. [Name]'s mom had told him Lydia was a great friend in her past, before she moved to Shinganshina.

Even if the old memories of his past hometown tormented him in some way, along with his friends, he somehow enjoyed living in Trost. It was a nice place— Lydia was just as nice as Beatrice and Jean was a good friend. Before he knew it, their friendship went deeper and deeper, becoming really close. Jean always worried about [Name]'s headaches, every time trying to help in anything he could along with Lydia. The woman bought plenty of herbs with her own money to try and calm his migraines, and Beatrice nor [Name] could stop thanking her for it.

It become frequent how Jean couldn't stop himself and caress [Name]'s hair every headache— his eyes became softer when he frowned. It had become a reflex, somehow. [Name] didn’t mind— in fact, the teenager didn’t care at all about getting touchy. He liked taking Jean’s hand and play with it when they were bored sitting under a tree, or just lay his head on Jean’s legs to sleep.

At first it felt weird, but as Jean could feel butterflies in his stomach, he suspected what was happening. He got nervous when [Name] so normally and carelessly touched him like nothing, as if it was something anyone would do. Jean now believed Beatrice when she said [Name] was a social inept— all of what he was doing felt like they were lovers, and he didn’t even know it. Every time he did it, Jean blushed and averted looking at the boy, sometimes even evading touching him.

Jean knew very well what his feelings were but refused to believe it, it was obvious. Even his' and [Name]'s mom did. It was difficult to bear with it, even more when [Name] was oblivious about it. Why wasn't him more upfront? These couple years have made him more brutally honest than before, so why he couldn't confess to him? Was it fear? Maybe for rejection. Jean knew [Name] didn't know or wasn't interested in these topics— he had tried to question the boy before, but nothing came out of it. [Name] was uninterested, or maybe he have never felt something like that before, so he couldn't speak about it as if he knew.

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“So [Name]...”

”Hmn?”

”Have you ever liked someone?”

”Liked...?” He looks to the sky, “well, yeah.”

”Really? Who?” He tried his best to sound uninterested about the topic.

”You,” Jean’s face blushed at that, but before he could get his hopes up [Name] followed with, “my friends from my hometown too... specially Armin.” And with that Jean went to the beginning, frowning with a twitch on his eye.

”not that type of liking! I mean If you have liked someone as in... love." He blushed, embarrassed by such thing to say.

“Like the books our moms read?” And he did sometimes too. Beatrice loved reading, specially romance novels. Armin and Beatrice had taught him reading books would be a good thing for learning about emotions, in some way. It could have sounded stupid— how someone didn't know what they feel? But [Name] didn't. He felt like a vessel still— these past experiences have helped a lot to grow his sentimental side, but there was more to know.

”Weird example, but yeah, like these cheesy stories.”

”hmn...” he had never thought about it— well, he liked Mr. Erwin a lot, but not as in love. “Don’t think so.” Maybe Beatrice? She says 'I love you' a lot to him, but he doesn't know if it's that particular form of love Jean is saying. "What about you?"

"W-Well— of course," he tried to sound 'cool' if that helped, "I've going out with some girls and—"

"That's not true. You are always with me." [Name] looks at him with a raised brow, obviously not believing his lie. Jean's facade faltered, but the teenager tried to change the attention to another topic.

"A-Anyways!" He laughed nervously, "have you ever kissed somebody?! BECAUSE I HAVE!"

"Kissed..." He blinked, deep in thought. [Name] didn't remember kissing anybody, but the sudden feeling of doing it is there. He touches his lips, wondering. "I don't think so."

Jean gulped, trying to play it off, "would you... like to try it?" He knew very well what he was doing— [Name] was unaware of these things, but it wasn't as if he was taking advances out of him, right? It was just... something for him to learn.

The amnesiac teenager blinks, staring at Jean. According to these books, a kiss meant something special, a sign of love. [Name] didn't know what love certainly was, so maybe trying kissing Jean would make something different? "Okay."

"O-Okay?! I-I mean—! A-Alright," Jean gulped, blushing. His heartbeat is erratic— he didn't actually believe [Name] agreed of something like this. Good thing they are in the forest near the walls— it would have been too embarrassing being looking at. Both of them kneeled in front of each other, [Name] looking at him with his head tilted. Jean averted his gaze, trying to calm himself.

He sighs, ready. Getting near [Name]'s face, his hands shake. The amnesiac teenagers gets near too, but Jean freezes. His eyes widen, not knowing what to do. Surprisingly, [Name] is the one who initiates the kiss— his hand supporting on the ground to get nearer Jean as he closes his eyes. It's clearly an inexperience kiss— but Jean's heart felt like it was going to explode. It's such a gentle and soft gesture, a curious action. Before he knows it, [Name] is pulling away with a humn. Jean is completely red, he is happy about what just happened, but he knows he can't get his hopes up with [Name], remembering how he usually is.

Nobody talks— [Name] tilts his head, touching his lips while Jean is still shocked by the kiss. What did [Name] feel? Did he like it? Did he realize something?

"S-So, what do you think?"

"I don't know."

"W-What?"

"It's... different, but I don't feel something else about it," Jean's heart crashes as he hears these words. He had a little bit of hope something would change, but it seems it didn't. "You?"

The taller teenager sighs, clenching his jaw. "Same." His excitement and happiness fade away as quickly as they appeared. Maybe this would be the first and last time he took advantage of [Name] like this— a kiss was something hurtful but wonderful at the same time. 'Love' surely hurt a lot.

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Love was something unknown for him, and for now, he didn't look interested by it. Jean hoped sometime he would have taken a more liking to him after that kiss, but Jean knew that was unlikely. So he hided his feelings, in hope of someday he could show them when the time was right. But obviously he took advances of [Name]'s touchy behavior— when he laid his head on Jean's lap, he played with [Name]'s hair. Or sometimes when the other rested his head on his shoulder, Jean would rest his head on the other's, smelling his hair.

This situation was annoying.

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Beatrice lived in fear of hearing those words— living the day he would leave to chase his dream. She didn't want to appear sad in front of her boy, so his anguish and sadness were showed with Lydia. The woman tried to comfort Beatrice as best as she could— but both of them knew their boys would leave them soon.

But it was time, and Beatrice knew from the start it was going to come sooner nor later. She always hoped he could change his mind, but his mind was set the first time he heard about the military. But she couldn't stop him, could she? She couldn't stop her husband nor son, and look what happened.

"Mom..." He spoke, stopping eating. Hearing such tone made Beatrice's heart hurt— that was it, "I'm going to enlist to the military."

She didn't say a word for some minutes, worrying [Name] by it. Beatrice had never got silenced over anything, but he knew he touched a sensible spot. She relieved some memories about her husband and a son he didn't know anything about— they left, enlisted to the survey corps and as many expected, they died in combat. It was painful and difficult to accept such thing again, but Beatrice can't forever hold a bird who wants to be free.

"Is that what you really want?" She hold her tears and her voice from breaking, but [Name] saw trough the facade easily. It was the second time felt something like heartbreak, seeing her like this. He stood up from his seat and keeled besides her, hugging her waist and resting his head on her legs. She caressed his hair, not holding the tears anymore. [Name] shut his eyes, some tears slipping and wetting Beatrice's dress.

"Yes."

"I see."

They stayed like that for a long time.

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It was pretty difficult accepting he was going to leave. Surprisingly, Jean was going to enlist too, but he had told his mother he was going to join the Military Police, and not the Survey Corps like [Name].

When Jean knew where [Name] was going to join in the end, he almost had a heart attack. He couldn't believe something so idiotic, reckless. Was he insane? But, most importantly, didn't he care they were going to... separate if that happened? They wouldn't see each other again. Jean was mad, and even when he voiced his worries to his friend he didn't listen.

"But what are you thinking?! It's the survey corps!" He tried to reason.

"Yeah, I know it's the survey corps. That's why I will join them." He stated, not bothered by Jean's yelling. The taller boy only got railed up by such behavior— didn't he care?

"But you could die, do you know that?" He desperately tries to talk a sense to him, "many of them don't come back!"

"I know, Jean. But... that's what I have to do." [Name] knew he had to join them— after all, they found him outside these walls. His answer had to be out there, somewhere.

"What you have to do?" He snorted, "aren't you thinking about Beatrice?" About me?

"Jean, I will join the survey corps. It was decided since the beginning."

"You don't care about anyone, do you?!" Jean couldn't stop his anger— [Name] was cruel when he wanted, even if he didn't mind to. He sighs, passing his hand trough his hair exasperatedly, "whatever." He left without turning back, he was angry and felt betrayed. Jean knew if he stayed any longer he would say things he didn't mean and turn the situation worse,

[Name] frowned, clearly sad about how things turned out. His hand tried to reach Jean, who disappeared without even sparing a last glance at him. He felt something heavy on his chest, and the same static noise overcome his ears. He did something wrong— but this is what he wants, and he can't turn back from his decision. But why is he feeling so sad? Just as he lost Eren, Mikasa and Armin? Was it so important to Jean where he wanted to go? It was his life— not his'. Was he being cruel? Just thinking about begin mistaken caused another headache to appear.

  P̵̣̫̱̮̼̲͔̰͈͙̈́̈̎̏̈́͠ī̷̞̥͍̙̓̈́̊͘t̷̛͕̝̓͐̓̋̄͑̎͋̉̊̈́̚̚ĩ̶͚̲͙̞̮̺͓̟͖͙̯̊̽͜͝f̴̡̺̬̟̭͙͕̙͚̯̟̹̱̹̩͐̈́̄̈͂̈́̈́͊̎̾̊̓̒͘ȗ̸̝̜͔̍̎̚ͅl̸̛̥͈̘̆̽̎͊̊͂͑̎͜ͅ.̵̧̢̢̛̮̘̤̭̳͔̈͒͗͒̔̍̇̈́̂͝͝͠͝ͅ ̸̨̦͔͙̫̙͉̝̭̣̮̫̤̪̎́̈̊̂̈́̓̆̋͝͝ͅD̶̛͖̹̣̲̘̫̭͕͔̊͒̾̃͊̓̊̀͂͊̕͝͠ǒ̶̧̧̢͉̳͉͔̪̻̠̗̲̜̒̄̀͜ͅn̶̮̻̮͍͔͚̲̝̮̪̖͇̠͂͌̀͌͂'̷̢̨̥̖̟̘̟̖̗̪̜̌̈́̋̃ͅͅt̶͒͐͊̈́̄̐̉̓͋̽̊̓͜͠ ̸̼͉̘͚̈́͛l̵̨͕͓̂͗̓̾̑̈́͠͠ͅị̷̛̭̹̺̂̌̇̊̐̀̍̎̂̋̔͘͠ş̶͕͔͈͎̻͖̪̀̏͊̌ţ̶̢̜͔̪̱͍͈̞̭̯͎͑̐͌͊̾͜͝ȩ̴̛̥̺̄̿̀͐͑͒̓̈́̋̄͋n̸̨̠͐̔͋͗̿͒͐ ̸̠͇̻͕̗͎̇̂̌̐̒̈́̕͝͝t̶͔̤̮͆͊̃͝o̵̡̪̦̙̲͆̈̂̑͜ͅ ̶̼̙̤͆͌͠ą̶̛͍͚̦͇͓̥̯̟͑̿̐̇̈́̈́̔̌̊ͅn̴̢̩̺̪̂̒̆͛̄̇̂ŷ̴̢̡̢̛̳͕̹̝̲̖̻̇͗͒͐̓͗̒͌̚ͅǫ̴̮͈̤̖͆̈́͑̃͆̾̌̿̐́͋̊͠n̴̠̬̫̪͐̈͑̇͌̅̎̓̑ȇ̶̡͇́̆̈́.̷̢̣̩̖̫͖͕̊͌̓̍͛̈́̌̂̓͘

But he's my friend...

Jean stopped talking with [Name] after that. The amnesiac teenager never felt so much sadness before— after all, Jean was his close friend. Beatrice could only guess what happened between them, and she couldn't possibly blame Jean. Seeing how [Name] stayed in his room all day made her worried— the boy was always under his blankets, and when he came down to eat, he was wrapped around his blankets still. Even if he looked so adorable like that, Beatrice couldn't feel happy when his expression screamed absolute sadness. She knew the best was for the two to talk it out, but seeing Jean nor [Name] tried to fix this, she decided to do a small step— talk to Jean. She have talked to [Name], but the boy didn't even wanted to leave to room.

When Beatrice talked to Lydia, the woman had realized something was wrong the moment her son returned so angry. He had come straight to his room and closed the door with such force that it was heard everywhere in the house. But he didn't shut himself in his room too much, thankfully.

When Jean came downstairs and saw Beatrice, he frowned and clenched his jaw. The woman could see his distress and maybe embarrassment— maybe he thought she would lecture him or something.

"Hello Jean," Beatrice smiled, hearing a small 'hi' from the boy as he sat down with her, "I know you know why I'm here for, right? But don't worry, I'm not mad at you."

Jean didn't spoke, rather, he looked down as he crossed his arms.

"[Name] is sorry about what happened— it's not that he doesn't care, it's more that... he really wants to know what's outside. He cares a lot about you, you know? But you know how he is with his feelings."

The boy doesn't talk. Rather, he sighs heavily, trying to think. If [Name] was just a neighbor he barely knew, he couldn't care less, but he wasn't. It was his friend, the person he liked— his life. Why he couldn't just stay with him?

"It's stupid," Jean said, "joining the survey corps? Is he insane?"

She chuckled, "I know. But you can't trap a bird forever, Jean. It will eventually fly away when they see the opportunity— that's how [Name] is. He has his mind set, and he will not change any time soon, even if the world tells him otherwise."

"Aren't you... angry?" Jean asked, frowning. Was she okay with the fact [Name] was going to join the survey corps? And possibly die?

She smiled sadly, looking down, "Not angry... just sad," she looks at Jean, "you can't decide or force someone to decide what to do with their life, can you? Just look at it in reverse— if [Name] tried to reason with you to join the branch you don't want to be, would you? After your mind is set?"

He fell into silence. But it was different, right? The Military Police was safe. The Survey Corps wasn't— both of them could live together, even. Nevertheless, imagining [Name] bugging him to join together would only irritate him. Averting Beatrice's gaze, he crossed his arms in defeat,

"I can't make him, can I?"

"Not even me." She smiles, but not a happy one. It's empty, and Jean can see trough it, "oh, and also..." She laughs, "you should do something with these feelings of yours."

The teenager's face becomes red at hearing the call out— he frowns, trying to ignore his blush. "W-What feelings?! I'm mad at him! Not- Not in..."

"Love?" She chuckles, "just remember one day you two won't be together. Time doesn't wait, so be fast."

He groans, rubbing his neck. Beatrice claps, widening her eyes with a devilish grin.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him! My boy has become reaaaally handsome, Jean. I'll say act fast!"

"M-Miss Beatrice!"

"I'm just saying, dear!"

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The amnesiac boy was miserable. Jean didn't want to talk to him, and [Name] didn't insist after that. If he didn't want to talk, then that was fine. But [Name] couldn't stop feeling so... sad. If it was Eren who fought with, his younger self wouldn't have cared as much as he did now. Since when did he change? Well, maybe it wasn't if he changed or not— he liked Jean. He enjoyed being with him and he helped him with his headaches, and more importantly, his voice wasn't annoying. [Name] grunted, hiding his face under the blankets.

[Name] didn't answer when he heard a knock on his door— he didn’t even paid attention of who the footsteps belonged to. Not until the person spoke, recognizing Jean.

”[Name]? Are you there?”

Jean? [Name] turned at the door, still wrapped around his blankets. He blinked,

"[Name]...?"

The amnesiac boy quietly got up from his bed, slightly opening the door just a little gap, his tired eyes prying outside the room to see Jean. The other jumped in surprise by the squeak the door made, along with seeing the unusual dull eyes looking at him.

"Can I... come in?" He gulped as [Name] fully opened the door for him to enter, closing it after. The amnesiac boy sit down on his bed, still covered in blankets. Honestly, Jean thought he looked adorable like this— but that wasn't important right now!

There was silence. Surprisingly, [Name] was the one who spoke first.

"I don't want you to be mad at me..." He looked down, playing with his fingers. His plain expression was the same, but his tone of voice changed. It was like a hurting child.

Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck. He didn't like being mad with him either— but he was justified, wasn't he? Maybe not but... he didn't like the idea of joining the survey corps one a bit. He wouldn't, that wasn't for him at all.

"Me neither," He sat down besides [Name], who didn't look at him still. "It's just... I don't want you to... die."

"I won't." He looked at Jean with a different expression he couldn't pin point, "I promise."

"Yeah yeah..." He didn't believe it— but knew [Name] was strong. Even if he still didn't accept hat he wanted to do, maybe, just maybe he could change his decision in the future, right? "I'm not mad, okay?" He looked at him with a clear frown in his face. Jean wasn't happy, neither angry— just... sad about not getting his way this time.

Silently, [Name] wrapped him around his blankets too, sharing them. "Joining branches will take time, so let's enjoy our time together." The corner of his mouth slightly raised, taking Jean's hand. He blushed clearly— how couldn't he? "Let's lay down."

Obeying, the two boys laid together on the bed, looking at each other. Jean averted looking at [Name] with a blush, while the other looked thoughtful. Can he hear my heartbeat??? Fuckfuckfuck—

"I haven't told you the reason why I want to join." That gained Jean's interest, forgetting about his little problem, "but don't tell anyone, alright?"

Then, he explained his first memory, who and how they found him and how he met Beatrice. Seeing it like this Jean understood, but wasn't he scared after seeing the titans? He never understood how the titans didn't scare him off when they took over Shinganshina— he admired him in secret, but he wouldn't say that out loud. Even so, it interested him where [Name] was from— that was why his eyes were different from everyone's? But outside the walls... that was impossible. No one lived outside— only titans.

"So that's why you want to go..." He closed his eyes, blushing, "just because I stopped being mad doesn't mean I still like the idea, o-okay?!"

The sound provided from the amnesiac boy surprised him— [Name] was chuckling. It was the first time hearing him like this. After all, him reacting like this was something rare. "Okay," he answered as he closed his eyes, "let's sleep."

Jean looked at [Name], still blushing. He was so... handsome but pretty at the same time. He looked so peaceful and gentle like this. Jean would never ever in his life would say that he always watched the boy in secret when they shared the bed together when they were younger, along with many secrets and memories he will hold everyday. He didn't want him to go someday— the thought only made him angry. This wasn't fair.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him!"

Remembering Beatrice's words made him almost grunt, covering his face. He wouldn't allow that! ...Would he?

  B̵̡̨̹̰̝̙̱͎͖̙̙̯͖̬̿̿̀̀̎̊͌͝ḙ̵̡͓͕̙͙̳͚̬̠͐͐̓̌̉̒͘͝͝ì̸̧̟̝̟̥̠̺̦̫̯͈͗̌̈́̒͂͑͆̄̈́̀̓͜͠n̴̨̡̪̗̜̮͇̳̮̟̼̗͇͒̋̊ͅͅg̴̥͇̼̹̮̻̼̬͉̺̲̝͐͊̏͋͑͜ ̵̢̺͑̃̈́̈́̈́͆̅͂̚̚̚ẅ̶̻̲͕͚͖̕ͅį̶̯͓͆͌̕͜͝t̷̜͉͎̫̘̝̠̣̰̲͕̫͓́̎͂̎h̷̺̼͕͔̹̪̮̜͚̯͐̎̉̎͐̇̽͒̃͝ͅ ̴͔̲̻̺̙̉̀̅̃̿̊͒̋̎̓͆̚̚̚ơ̸͎̜̜̣͊̔̂͊̉̌́͆͆̑̓͗t̶̘͇̟̦̩̞̰͉̱̰̖̜̱͕̐̆͋̒̈́͆͋͝͠͠͝ͅh̴͚͐͊̊̌̇ͅͅȩ̸̳̤̪̖̹͈̥͔̩̠̥̅̄̔̅̈́͋̓̒̚͝͝r̸͖͙̖͓̆s̴̨͙͔̦͙̃͑̅̈́͒̏̇͆̈́̾͊͝ ̸͓̹̫͇̺̭͉̙͗͜ȏ̵̺̘̱̮̜̟̗ņ̴̛̳̖̮̝̒̈́͋̽̌̅͊͊̚͝͠͠͝ͅl̵͍̻̜̖͑̋̿̃̈́͝ͅy̷̢͎͉͙̖͔͍̜͉͓̩̣̼̅̏͘ ̸̨̧̳̱̆̽̉̐͝w̴̧͚̗͎͍̳̣͇̣͍͍̜̣̔̒̅ǐ̷̤̦̰̫̱̃͌̈ͅl̷̡͚̰͔̼̩̦͖̬̼͍͖͗̒̐͝l̶̡̙̳͖̘̤͋̑̈́̈́̅̓̈́́̄̃̋͠ ̶̬̻͉͉̞̞͙̝̺͖̂ͅc̷̢̣͙̝̞̻̬͔͙̕ǎ̶̡̘̝̥̳̪̮͔̫̒́̆̈̀̐̏̑̕͝͠u̸͓͛̈́̌̑̐̅̒̆̿͆̋s̷̗̙̙̩̰̮̤̤̼̥̪͓̝̰̎̍̒̿͆̏͆̓̍̚͝ͅe̸͖͈̺͓̪̽͌ ̴̛͖̲͓̟̳͍̤̍͌̅̔̒̽̍̽͘̚h̵̢̡͚̺̩̻̉͂̓ī̴͔͇̙̝̓̓̿̐͗̈́̒͝m̴̥̘̱̦͚̹̱̳̻͂̂͗̏̾͌̑̿̆̂̃̄́̅͜ ̸̢̨̢̛̼͎͈̫̲̗̬̺̞̞̅̍͑̈́̍̚ͅš̴̨̝̻͙̘͇̞̠͕̠͎̫̐̈́̌͘͠͝͠͠u̷͚̝̗̜͉͔̪̙̣̪͓̦̝̲͗̐́̿̈́͋́͠f̸̢͙͈̲̘̙͈̱̈̾͒̊̕f̶̧͖̬̻͖͙̥̫̆̾͆́͒̀́̽̀̇̇̾ͅḙ̷̢̡͍͕̟͉͓̮̲̰͕̙͓̋̂̆͠ŗ̷̛̬͓̼̲͍̻̰̥̜̙̺̓̂̇͑̆̄̕͘͝͝͠į̴̜̬̹̥̘͚̘͉̲͎̜̆̈́͑̓n̷̥̏g̷̻̳̯̞̬͚̘̯̿̿.̴̧̹͖̱͔̙͙̳̣̾̂̕ͅ

L̴͚̗̄̂͐̏͐̆̓̕ĕ̶̡̤̳̠̹̪̹̰͔͕̑̏͌̈́ͅt̵̢̳͓͈̃̏̈́͗͗̌̈̄̀̓̄̆ ̶̭̹̦͕̞͈̲̙̙̺̈́̓̋͌̒̎̂̅̀̚̕͝͠ͅţ̴̧̡̱̥̲̥̗̲̮͇̜̬̙̳̈̏̍̾͋̽̎̆̈́̋̎̐̕͝ẖ̸̡̛̳̙̞̪̫̫̮̺͇̳͇͔̞͌̾͑̍̒̚̚͘͝͝e̸̼͐̈͋̑̀̅͐͆̓̕͠ ̶̨͖̯͇͖͓͍͓̩̍̌͂̅̈́b̷̢͈́͂͒̂̍̂̈́̍̎̏̉͊͆͘ơ̷͈̼̝̩̰̭̥̻̩̿̿̒́͜y̶̭̽̈́̈́͊̈̆͠ ̵͙̜̻́̇̆̓̑̌͊̾̌͛̎̑́͠b̷̧̥͍͍̞̍̑ę̴̧̯̗̩̥̭̰͕̓̃́̍͂̄͋̓̐̄̌͛̃̕͜.̴̧̬̫͚͔̭̝͉́̓͌̑̂̉̈̊͠ ̸̨̡̨̛̬̳̺̪̪͇͐͛́̑̾̈́̽̓͗̒̈́̚͝͠ͅY̶̜̪̟̳͍͖̥̼̭͉̭̼͐́̂̓̑̎́̇̋̕͜͝ͅớ̷̠̮̬̲̒̍̎͑̑͐̕u̶̢̢̮̺͓̘͈̠̟̰̱̞̥̣̓ͅ ̶͉̠̲̣̖͊̍̾̀̅̋̏͜k̵͈͂̒̋̃̽͊̈́̽̈́͆͂n̸̛̜̠͉̳̤̥̟̘̟̬̻͕͇͆̍̊̑͋̈̾̄̉̀͊͘̚͜ͅo̸̡̮̗͇̺̦̺͚̱̠̞͓̭̓̐̕ͅŵ̸͙̉̉̈́̑̎̌̓͊̅̿̒͝ ̶̡̟͍͙̜̽̅͑͌̑͜͜͝͝w̸̡̩͈̩̹̤̙̝̒̑̾̂̌̎̚͠h̷̺̜̖̒̈́̓͝ă̶̜̥̖̘͔̹͐͐̓̈́̀̅̊̐̌̈̍̀͘͝t̵̗̥̲̚ ̷̨̩͗̍̈̈́́̈́͑̓̋̈̕͝ẉ̸̛̽͆̎͗̉͌̂̓̈́̃̿̋̍͜͝ĩ̴̛̛͍̺̣̲͍͋̀̀́͊̍͝͝l̷̛̠͚̰̊́̉̒̏͐̓̐͘̕̕l̸̬͍̤̠͓̠̬̃ ̷͍̥̭͉͉͍̞͔͎̯̺͎̑̾͌̾̈́h̶̨̢͖̯̫̮̭͑͜ẩ̷̰̩͙̰̲̳̹͗̊̑̈́̂͝͝p̴̡̡̛͇͎̮̟͍̥̯̂̔͜͠p̷̫̤̝̗̣͎̃͋̉͑́̋̈̎̾͌͝ͅẽ̶̼̠̳̙̬̉͒̾͂̄̂̽̍̍̐̈͠͝n̸͚̲̤̹̘̥̼̉̅͗̏̔͆̈̕͘̕ͅ ̴̨̛̛̟̦̬̺̫̣̯͓̜͖͎͆̍͑̄͗̑̊͘͝ļ̸̣̫̖̫̘̎̈́͋͌̿̽̊͑̚͠ả̷̩̣̮̫̐͊̽͊̃͠t̷̺̣̘͋e̶̙͓̯̜̭̗̥͉̫̎͛̆̀̓͊̚͜͜͝ͅr̴̩͔̗̔͛.̸̧̖̤̰̱̻͓̂͊

  [Name]'s whimpers took his attention. The amnesiac boy was frowning, and Jean knew exactly what was happening.

"Your head again?" He unconsciously placed his hand on [Name]'s forehead, worried. The touch somehow calmed him a little.

"I tried to remember— bad choice." He sighed, hiding his face onto Jean's chest, making the teenager blush completely again. He knew [Name] could hear his heartbeat— calm yourself! Clenching his jaw, he hugged the boy closer, looking at the side in shyness. He had to enjoyed while it lasted— soon they will be in the military, and doing things like this in front of everyone would be embarrassing, wouldn't be? He only wished time didn't go as fast.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

This was the day.

[Name] packed his stuff with the help of his mother, she doing most of the talking. She didn't want to cry, so the best she could so was to keep her mind occupied in talking and helping.

"You are such a handsome boy now, I can't believe it..." She sighed, "You are getting taller too..."

"Do you think so? Jean is still taller than me."

"He had grow up so much too... And to think it has been only two years." She laughed, "I can't wait to see how the military has shaped you."

They finish quickly, after all it isn't much. They leave the house, stopping at the entrance. There's silence— both of them see the path where everyone is going. After all, today was the day to enlist, and many teenagers were already leaving their homes. [Name] turns to see Beatrice, who is deep in thought.

She sighs, "you can come back if you can't take it, alright? No one will think less of you!" She takes him and kisses him all over, receiving a chuckle from [Name].

"Okay, mom."

"Don't forget to visit! I will sent you letters, okay? If I can I will sent you some cookies too!" She kisses him, "do your best, and make a lot of friends, please? When you come back in your free time, come with your friends! A lot of food will await you."

With a last hug and more kisses, [Name] leaves. When Beatrice can't see him anymore, tears fall from her face as she tries to hold her sobs. She wipes them, but the tears won't stop from falling. She's horribly sad and broken, but she knows this is the right choice for him. After all, he belongs somewhere else.

"Please come back safe..."

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"There you are," Jean says, already waiting for him in their usual spot. They agreed to go together, as always, "thought you changed your mind."

[Name] let his tongue out, making Jean snort. "Never." They return on their walk, following the others teenagers to their new future.

I hope... they are there.

T̵̨̨̛̠̤͇̩̩͈̤̪͖̮̜̜̼̣̳̟̝̫͒͒͂̽͛̒͑̍̇̒͆̚͝h̶̩̜̳͔͍̱̳̺͍̲̩͔̥̠͍͚͈̑̃̐̾̇́̓͐͑̔̚͝e̶̫̭̬̩̰̝̬͎̰̿͋̓̒̅̉̉̎͗̕͜y̵̨̢̲͓͇͓͔͓͐̽̃͆̿̓̕͘ ̶̛̣̗̪̙͒̑̊͂̈́͒̏̔ẅ̷̢̧̨̛̬̗̮̳̣̙͉̟̫̣̬̮̲̲̬͔̑̓̒̉̾͠ḭ̵̬̲͉̱̲͕̱͕̞͉̯͎̯̘̤̙̠̻̽̽͋̀͑̓̂̍͆̉̽͐̍͑̋ͅl̸̢̡̧̬̟̞̻̩͈͓̙̙̻̺̲̭̤̦̼͉̖̩̻̩̣̓͗̐̊̓ͅļ̵̧̢̢͖̼̤̲̩̙̥̖̘̜̭̗̫̗̮͓͔̗̦̗͖̱̎̃̇̈́̊͋͑͌̓̀̐̀̏̔͋͋͋ͅ.̷͎̖̲̈́̋̑̈́̅̈́͆̈̓͛̾̐͊͋̐̓̌̈́̔͑̔̑̔̽

when you try to talk about writer’s block and ppl out there telling you to “write anyway!” “you can do it!” “write about anything!” “just write” 

hey, i hope ur doing ok :) i was wondering, r ur stories discontinued or r u still on hiatus? <3<3

hello!

none of my stories are discontinued unless stated otherwise! i know i don't update for months and months... but i still write or i try to write everyday at least one sentence, or just a few words to both of my stories and many others ;v; i don't want to say i'm in hiatus, but i really don't have time for anything these past few months and it has been pretty stressful. yet i really want to update so i try to get chapters done very slowly,,,, ;_;

if i do cancel/discontinue my stories, i will post an announcement saying so (: hopefully that won't happen LOL.

and yes, i'm doing ok! thank you very much. hope all of u are doing good and everything is going well! hopefully i can post something this month or the next................... hopefully orz.

Reiss Mental Asylum / １１

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

11. dangerous

“Wouldn’t it be weird? I mean— being watched is awkward enough…” The assistant frowned, unsure about the task. 

“We’ll have our table not that far away from them.” Mike knew [Name] would be really persistent with these subjects— he was too positive, too kind. That could develop a bigger problem in the future if they allowed it, and the taller man could already smell the trouble ahead.

He had to protect him before something happened.

“But still… wouldn’t be better to socialize?”

“That would be problematic. You know how that could end, [Name].”

“Well—” He tried to object, but remembering all of the closeness he got with some of them came to his mind, shutting his hopes out. “I guess…” He wanted to rehabilitate them, help them reintegrate to society. Wasn’t this the point of their job here? The assistant let out a defeated sigh at these thoughts.

“Hey,” Mike gently ruffled his hair to take his attention and comfort him, showing a small smile, “small steps.” [Name] blinked and relaxed his shoulders, nodding with his head and smiled. That was true— he can't just solve everything in a few weeks! After all, the sessions with the patients were just starting. There was plenty of time ahead!

The cafeteria was the next place they had to be— it was pretty simple, just watch and observe the patients. If they were lucky, no need to sedate them would be needed, if they behaved. Only the patients with good behavior lately were allowed in the cafeteria, but that didn't mean one of them couldn’t control themselves and cause an scene. Mike told him not to worry too much— the blond explained he could smell patients’ changes. [Name] just blinked at that statement.

The doors were already open wide. Plenty of patients were chatting, others didn’t. The table where doctors were was noticeable— their white coats and clipboards gave it away, along with the harsh gaze they wore. The two headed that way, not before [Name] saying a cheerful ‘good morning!’ to the patients he passed, receiving some weird looks from them, but with his’ patients they almost got hearts in their eyes (only Armin and Bertholdt, tho). The others smirked, eyeing him from head to toe.

Most of his patients were already there. After all, the bell had already been heard and lateness wasn't allowed. (Un)fortunately, one certain patient was missing— Eren Jaeger. Mike had explained the little ruckus he had done had cost him his permission to go into the cafeteria for the mean time. [Name] didn’t know if to feel relief or not.

By [Name] surprise, Vincent was there too— but not at the doctors’ table. He was standing in a corner along with other guards. They met eyes, and [Name]’s cheeks blushed a little. He smiled and waved, receiving a handsome grin and a wink from the guard.

As expected, everyone saw the small interaction— some with frowns on their faces. Specially Armin, Bertholdt and Connie. The three narrowed eyes at the guard, suspicious by the evident flirting.

“[Name]!!! Here!!!” A joyful familiar voice could be heard. [Name] turned to see Hanji waving her hand enthusiastically with a big grin on her face. She was at the doctors’ table too, and as the assistant could see, some doctors just looked at her in irritation and others tried to ignore her.

[Name] chuckled a little, sitting down along with Mike. Zeke and Levi were there too, with their usual frowns. For some reason the short man appeared angrier than usual. The assistant greeted everyone, waving shyly.

  And at the other table...

“Ah?! Did you see that guard just now?” Connie irritably spoke, frowning at the guard as he gritted his teeth.

The small blond’s eyes were locked on the stoic guard— his lifeless blue eyes observed every bit of him, as if he wanted him dead.

Bertholdt looked angry. He recognized who he was— the memory made him clench his jaw tightly.

Jean grinned, seeing the upset reactions of some. “Seems pretty boy has some competition behind.”

“Even you, Bert? Unbelievable,” Reiner interjected, crossing his arms. He smirked, “but I can’t deny he has a nice ass.” His compliment gained a laugh from Jean and some glares from the other three.

“Reiner!” Bertholdt exclaimed, frowning at his friend. The blond just grinned devilish.

“What? It’s the truth.”

The smaller blond grunts, “anyways, why isn’t Eren here?” He tried to look for his friend, but he couldn't find him anywhere. Usually he would stay with him.

“You don’t know, Armin?” The blond boy shakes his head, curious and confused, “I heard from other guards he was into a fight with [Name].” Jean answers nonchalantly, glancing at the assistant, who was chatting with the doctors.

“Uh?!” Not only just Armin reacted, but everyone on the table did. Reiner looked at Jean with interest in the situation, as he saw Bertholdt, Connie and Armin widening their eyes by such statement, changing their focus on Jean again.

“Yup. I heard he went physical,” Jean crosses his arms, deep in thought. “So that’s why [Name] acted nervous when hearing his name the other day...”

The small blond’s eyes widened in shock— Eren knew he loves [Name]. Armin have made that clear long before his friend had met the assistant. So why did he do something so stupid? Just the thought of him putting his hands on [Name] angered him— so the unusual mark he noticed was a bruise. A mark on his precious [Name]. A painful mark. What was Eren thinking? How could he?

Connie looked irritated and annoyed, to say at least. The assistant had made him interested in someone in a long time, if ever. Hearing that Eren was going nuts over this delicate man only made him think of him moving institutions or just Eren breaking him in the end like the others. If [Name] disappeared, then who will hear his greatness? The toy should get take care of if he didn't want that outcome.

Bertolt felt furious. His beautiful [Name], attacked by a beast like him? No way— he wouldn’t allow that happening again. How could he dare do that? And for what reason? Angel wasn’t someone evil like the others once were— he was gentle, kind and smelled nice. If something happened to him, Bertolt couldn’t know how would he react. That won’t happen!

"I guess we won't see him for some time. Maybe a week,” Jean crosses his arms, “if he’s lucky he doesn’t have to go to that place.”

“Who knows, seeing how kitten has some people around his finger...” The buff blonde spoke, eyeing the doctor's table. At first glance it wasn't noticeable, but he could see how intently were some workers watching him. So this was the game everyone was playing: alright, Reiner could play it too. He was lucky enough to get the pretty assistant on his sessions— just thinking of having him under him turned him on. He chuckled darkly, wondering. 

Jean eyed everyone in secret, taking note of their expressions. Holding his laughter, Jean could only think how unlucky [Name] was for being in this disgusting place and attracting their attention. A deep part of his mind told him he wouldn’t last much being involved with these people. It would be really a shame to kill someone as cute as him— if that happened, he had to benefit himself before.

“We’ll see.”

  Vincent could only guess what was happening in that table— seeing their sinister smiles as their gazes were locked onto the doctor's table worried him.

back at the doctors' table...

“Anyways, did you had fun in your date?” Levi bitterly asked, narrowing his eye as he drank his tea. The two particular men instantly froze, looking confusedly at the ravenette by hearing such... ridiculous thing. [Name]? Dating? Who? Why?

At the mention of it, [Name] blushed a little, smiling. “Y–You shouldn’t say it out loud...”

"Woaaah! [Name] had a date?!" Hanji grinned, watching carefully the scene before her. “Look at this big boy!”

“Date? With who?” Zeke forcefully asked, holding his anger and jealously. His grip on his cup tightened as he tried to play it off, but obviously with irritation showing.

Mike just observed in silence, not that pleased of the new information.

“U—Uhm, well...” he played with his fingers, “with Vincent...”

Zeke’s eye twitched. “Who is Vincent?”

“H—He’s a guard!”

“The one you waved at earlier?” Mike asked, receiving a nod. 

Now it was turn to the three workers to glare at the poor guard, who did feel the amount of glares he was given just in a few minutes. Vincent gulped, his left eye twitching slightly. His partner, who was not that far away, raised an eyebrow in amusement by the situation he was in. I told you, dumbass.

Zeke narrowed his eyes, tapping his cup with his finger impatiently, "you know romantic relationships with workers is against the norms, do you?"

Pretty hypocritical, wasn't it?

"I mean, it wasn't as a lovers date! W-We are just friends, hehe!" [Name] tried to reason, shaking his head hastily.

“And what about your neighbor?” Levi spoke, trying to sound as casual as he could. In reality, something inside him turned and shifted uncomfortably.

NEIGHBOR?!

Zeke wasn’t happy by what he was hearing. Really? Two filthy men he didn’t know? Now not only he had to take care of the damn people working inside this shithole, but he had to somehow know about [Name] private life? Just how many people were trying to get their filthy hands on him?

“He cancelled! He said his job was going to take all of his free time for some time. Also, he could go to a business trip next week. It’s a shame... I was looking forward to it.” [Name] frowned. I wasn’t the only reason he was upset— he felt secure when Porco was in his apartment. The [hair color] haired didn’t like being lonely at all in the night, and when his neighbor went into business trips his sleeping schedule wasn’t right. He could get easily scared sometimes, specially before going to sleep. There were times were Porco called him in the night, trying to not let him feel that alone. [Name] asked him to keep talking until he fall asleep— such a  childish behavior, but in the end his neighbor complied.

“Ha! Seems our [Name] here is a heart taker!” Hanji exclaims, grabbing [Name]’s cheeks hard, making the assistant yelp. “Such a cutie!!! Who can resist him?! Look at him!!”

Rubbing his temples, Zeke sighs in exasperation. “Hanji, can you please leave my assistant before you tear his pretty face apart?” The comment made Levi raise an eyebrow, while [Name] blushed. Mike stayed in silence, his expression not showing any emotion.

Letting go of [Name]’s face, Hanji clapped her hands and grinned. “So! Finally we are all together so I can tell you about my dears!” Everyone sighed as they heard Hanji begin to talk about her patients, a topic nobody wanted to hear. All of the people present knew about her stories about them, and this woman could keep going on and on until their shift was over.

Before they could prevent it, [Name] asked who they were— big mistake. It was Hanji's opportunity to take this poor soul into her dark and twisted stories about their 'experiments'. [Name] didn't like that term at all— he wondered if the woman really saw them as objects, but hearing her calling them 'babies' and 'dearies' troubled him. Is she... okay?

The small talk turned out to be a much extended one that wasn't even finished when lunch time ended. [Name] thanked she wasn't her assistant, or thanked Zeke wasn't the mad scientist persona.

"Unfortunately I won't be with you today, [Name]. I have some other things to take care of, but don't take my absence like an opportunity to do whatever you want and get into trouble."

"O-Of course not, Zeke! I won’t get into any trouble!!”

The doctor stood up from his seat, ruffling his assistant's hair without care. "Good, because there's punishment."

[Name] just saw the doctor leave with some colleagues, including Hanji and Mike. Both of them waved at [Name] and Levi one last time.

Levi just watched quietly, drinking his tea. He wasn’t in a hurry— there wasn’t anything he had to do in the next hour, and opted to calmly drink. His silver eyes shifted from his tea to [Name], who’s eyes wandered trough the leaving patients. Unfortunately for him, Levi did notice how his [eye color] eyes stop somewhere before smiling and blushing.

The ravenette could only guess who was the source of such happiness— Vincent Genett. The guard he never took attention on. Levi wasn’t a dick to everyone— he treated everyone equally, until they got in his nerves. And in this case, Levi was justified for hating this guy’s guts. Not that he needed justification anyways— who was Vincent? He only remembered seeing him around from time to time since what, one-two years? Pretty surprising, knowing what fate guards had in their horrible job. This Vincent had some luck if he persisted this long. Hopefully, that luck would run out sooner or later.

[Name]’s attention shifts on Levi, who is watching him with a cold stare. The poor assistant twitches in surprise, pressing his lips in a thin line while his eyes curiously look at Levi. Noticing the stare, Levi takes a drink of his tea, still frowning.

He was annoyed.

"What's your schedule for today?" Levi spoke with a particular harsh tone, meeting [Name]’s eyes with his cold ones. 

"Hmn..." [Name] tilts his head, looking at the side to try and remember, "session with Reiner and some observations outside."

Levi wasn’t in the mood— Reiner? Really? And Zeke left him to die or what was his plan? Unfortunately, simple workers like Levi couldn’t watch over session of other doctors, so trying to stalk watch [Name]’s session wasn’t possible. He bluntly spoke, already getting up. “What are you waiting for, then? Get your shit and let's go."

The assistant could clearly hear an annoyed tone coming from the ravenette. Was it because he rejected his ride the other day? [Name] didn't have the opportunity to see his 'scary shorty mode' as Hanji had told him before. It's not as if he had wanted to, but it seems he definitely did something wrong earlier to get him talking like this. Should he apologize...?

Taking his belongings, [Name] blinked as he remembered. "Ah! This was supposed to be an observation but I didn't do anything!" The assistant widened his eyes, clearly worried by his lack of work. Zeke would be angry at him, no doubt!

The ravenette closed his eyes, not worried. "don't worry. You will see what they really are one of these days."

He blinks, confused yet curious. "What they really are...?" [Name] tried to get an answer, but Levi didn't respond after that. What could he mean by that?

Before leaving, he waves to his patients and tries to meet gazes with a certain guard. When he sees Vincent, the guard just winks at him with a serious face.

Is that his 'business' face? [Name] can't help but chuckle, leaving with a big smile.

The ravenette, clearly aware of the two love birds, looked at the guard with the coldest eyes. Surprisingly, Vincent holds the stare without a problem. Levi just leaves with a grunt, clearly annoyed.

The patients who were being escorted by guards, didn’t hide their hate towards the popular guard. Vincent didn’t express any fear nor other emotion— staying serene and going on with his job, the guard remained unaffected by the glares. 

As Vincent get behind the patients, his partner got besides him, whispering just for him to hear. “Whatever you are doing with that worker, I advice you to nope the fuck out, man. I  could sense the hate all across my spot.”

”A few glares won’t make me stop.”

”Few glares? Don’t you know which glares, Vince? Fucking Zeke Jaeger. And don’t make me name the patients!”

”Don’t care— what could they do anyways?”

”Uh, dunno, kill you? Are you being an idiot on purpose?” Abe rolled his eyes, “do I need to refresh your memory about what happened to Jin and Roman?”

”They disappeared. Why would you bring them again?”

”Because they were killed and then disposed. Didn’t you hear the news about two bodies being found around these forests? Pretty coincidental, if you ask me.”

”[Name] doesn’t have to do anything with it— what’s the correlation here?”

”Look, man–“ before Abe could spoke about it, their radios transmitted hysterical and loud voices being interjected by static. That only meant one thing— problems upstairs. “Aw, shit. Who is it this time?”

Both guards ran to the upper floors, preparing themselves for whatever  they were going to see. “Don’t think this conversation is over, dumbass!”

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

The doctor's expression was drastically different— it seemed as if he was worried about losing something. The patient's face, in the other hand, was frowning with dull eyes.

“You got lucky— If [Name] hadn’t talked to Erwin who knows what he would have done to you!” Zeke exclaimed, not believing his brother's behavior. He knew the repercussions patients got if they harmed a worker— if it wasn't for Zeke, Eren would have gotten a worst punishment by now. Even more when [Name] was the one he hurt.

The brunette raised an eyebrow— plenty of patients harmed their doctors and the boss had never been called for something like that— after all, patients were nothing but mere objects for them to experiment on. Hell, Eren never hear of him at all. Why he appears when is [Name]...?

Then Eren realizes. “He is the same.” The comment made his brother raise an eyebrow, confused.

“What are you saying?”

The brunette crossed his arms, a smug smile appearing on his face. “Angel does have an effect on everyone. To say even the boss had fallen for it...” He really is something. "How, even? Is he really going into everyone's bed?"

Anger grew on Zeke has he heard those dirty words being throw at his precious assistant. His brother calling him a whore was more than aggravating— infuriating. It seemed Eren already began to made an image of [Name] that shaped into a dark and twisted one— a pretty assistant got a job and suddenly everyone is kissing his shoes.

"I won't allow you talking about him like that. He is my assistant— it's better if you began to cooperate for yours, and my sake."

The statement only made Eren narrow his eyes in suspicion— it was clear his brother wasn't just bothered by their safety. He too was captivated by this person, not just protective. Surprising, to say at least. He thought his brother wasn't the type of person to get to attached, but it seems he was wrong after all.

That time in the gardens gave it away, anyways.

"You too like him," he raises an eyebrow, "surprising when you don't care about who is killed here."

Zeke just looks at him with crossed arms, clearly unhappy by his childish behavior.

"It's just little time something happens to angel. You know that, right?"

"You are my little brother, Eren. I care about you— that's why I'm telling you to stop. You don't know how Erwin is really like."

"And you?" He spat, "what are you really like?"

The blonde scratches his ear, sighing. This isn't going well. "I'm just asking you to behave. [Name] isn't a bad person at all, and I know you can see that but are too stubborn to do otherwise. Even Armin likes him."

"He's easy gullible."

"Tell that to the five other doctors who tried to help and he didn't even speak to," Eren presses his lips into a thin line, "you should trust Armin's choices. [Name] is not a bad guy."

"Say that to the others who take advantage of us before."

Why does he have to be this exasperating?

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

“Where are you going after?” [Name] tried to strike a conversation, feeling uncomfortable by the lack of talk.

”With Erwin. He wanted to discuss some matters to me.”

”I–Is something wrong?”

”No.” He answered without looking at him, frowning.

It was clear Levi was angry at him still, or maybe irritated by him? [Name] pressed his lips in a thin line, not pleased by the situation. The raventte didn't even wanted to look at him— he looked annoyed and tensed. Before the assistant could ask what was wrong, multiple voices quickly approaching interrupted him.

“Get out of the way!” Multiple guards ran trough the hall, almost hitting [Name] if it wasn’t for Levi quick reflexes. The ravenette pulled [Name] against him, both pressing against the wall to let the workers trough. Some people didn’t have such luck, hearing the yell and grunt some let out. [Name] could notice most guards had some type of syringe in their hands, and some others tasers.

What's happening? The workers headed to the upper floors along with some nurses. They looked worried, and many calls were heard from their radios. "L—Levi, do you know what's happening?"

"Problems in the upper floors, that's all you need to know." Levi freed his grip on [Name], letting the assistant free. The ravenette dusted his clothes, "I'm leaving." He spoke, already walking away without another word.

[Name] frowned slightly, trying to not feel upset. He waved even if the other didn't look, raising his voice to let Levi hear, "s-see you later!!" He didn't receive a gesture in return.

Sighing, [Name] clapped his hands and changed his expression to a brighter one— he couldn't let his patient see him like that! He turned, nodding at the two guards guarding the door, receiving the same gesture. A guard opened the door to let him in, [Name] thanked him and came in with a small smile, preparing himself for anything.

[Name] was met with bored gold eyes looking at the wall, but just as the attention shifted to the assistant the expression quickly changed to a playful one.

“Finally I got to see your pretty face.”

“We meet again, Mr. Braun," [Name] knew Reiner's session would be a pain to handle. He was crude, didn't sugar coat his words and didn't care about decency. Even so, he was grateful Reiner’s warrior persona hadn’t showed before— but it made him wonder when his luck would wear out. “Been pretty long since we last meet like this!”

“Not too long,” he said, “you know— I’ve dreamed about you. The types of dreams where I have you under me and—“

“That’s nice to hear, Reiner. Reaaally nice...” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “well, we saw each other in the mess hall. Its nice to see you have friends around!”

“Bertholdt has talked about you— impressive how he has taken an special interest on you,” he leaned on his chair, “he doesn’t like me talking about how good looking you are.”

“Mr. Hoover is really nice. We have both got a great time together—“

A loud noise is heard when Reiner bash his hands on the table, his expression turning into an angry one, “I won’t allow it!” He shouts with fury, a drastic change from his playful self from before.

“Mr. Braun,” [Name] controls his fear and talks in a soft voice, not wanting to get killed. The warrior just woke up, “I’m not here to harm any of you— that’s been my promise since I got here.”

“I won’t fucking allow a demon like you touch nor make him fall in love with you— you are nothing but a devil trying to use us.”

[Name] didn’t know how the blond’s cuffs were resisting— would that even save him?

“Bertholdt is just too blind to see the real devil you are— but I can.” He slowly stands, “He’s so idiotic to see— you are such an evil creature, luring him with sweet words and that pretty face you wear— but deep inside, you are nothing but a filthy demon that needs to perish.” [Name] gulps under such cold stare.

“I’m not here to harm any of you, Mr. Braun,” he reassures, “I’m here to help you, not to hurt— I seek for your future, Reiner. That's always been what I promised since I got here.”

He snorts. “It isn’t the first time I’ve heard the exact same words before— you don’t actually think that. You devils just experiment on us. We are your guinea pigs— nobody in this hell actually helps us!"

Experiments...? The word reminded him of Hanji— the woman had called her patients exactly that. Nevertheless, the assistant didn't think it was something more than a horrible nickname. "Experiment? What are you talking about? My assistance doesn't support something as horrible as that."

"Act as if you don't know, pretty boy. This isn't new— you are just like them." He slowly gets up, as if he was trying to not scare the deer,  "but I won't allow it anymore." And before [Name] could say anything else, Reiner quickly took his collar and pinned him in the desk with a slam, as he muttered immediately, “you scream and I’ll snap your neck.”

Reiner’s face was terrifying. [Name] didn’t want to show any fear, but seeing just how cold his eyes were, how he was glaring with such hatred made him froze. This didn’t look good— what did Reiner wanted to with him? If he wanted to kill him, he would already have done that the second he got his hands on him.

”What should I do to you? Maybe I can have some fun before killing you?” Reiner spoke with playfulness in his voice, but his cold expression didn’t change. There wasn't even a smile— just a bored look.

”F–Fun?” [Name] quietly muttered, hoping the type of fun Reiner was thinking wasn’t the one he feared. He had to do something before that happened, but him being so much weaker than Reiner was obvious. Fighting him wasn’t a good idea if he clearly had the upper hand. Then what could he do? He should throw something at the wall to let the others notice there was something happening— yeah, or at least the lack of noises would weird them out. "Reiner," [Name] tried to get his attention, and he tried his best to not let a sound out when he felt hands getting under his shirt.

"No talking— don’t even whimper.” [Name] could feel the rough hands over his skin— twitching his body with every touch, but not in a good way. Shivers that were caused by fear. Biting his lip, [Name] tried to think about what to do. It was clear Reiner didn’t want to hear him at all.

But something changed— it seemed Reiner’s ‘fun’ didn’t last long, because the hands who were exploring the assistant’s skin slowly stopped in [Name]’s neck. Before [Name] could snap out of his thoughts and realize the danger, a hard pressure on his neck made him unable to breathe.

”You can deceive him, but not me.” Reiner’s cold eyes stared at [Name]’s teary face, but there was no enjoyment from it. 

Between him trashing around trying to get Reiner off, [Name] took his clipboard and threw in on the wall, hoping that would get the guards’ attention about what was happening. Hitting the blond with his wouldn't be of any use— Fortunately, the door quickly opened to reveal the two guards already with syringes in hand. 

Thankfully the guards were capable of handling this quickly— before Reiner could have done more harm, a guard injected him in the neck harshly, freeing the assistant from his grip, allowing him to breathe. [Name] fell to the floor, coughing and breathing, shocked by Reiner’s violence. The other guard was unable to help him at the moment, seeing the blond patient trashing around and yelling curses at the guard trying to control him.

[Name] was surprised— whatever that syringe had, it didn’t seem to work at all. Without knowing, [Name] backed up and pressed his back on one of the corners, still out of it and with a horrible headache. He could only see what was happening— the two guards trying to control the warrior but with no avail.

”Reiner, stop!”

[Name] had to do something! But what could he do?! He couldn’t handle Reiner even if he tried his best. The blond seemed out of it, blinded by rage. The only thing he could do was knock him out— but with what? This room was basically empty! Shifting his vision back and forth, the only thing [Name] could focus on was on the chairs— fortunately, they were metallic, so at least a little push would make Reiner knocked out. [Name] only hoped it didn’t hurt that bad.

There wasn’t another choice— Reiner wasn’t willing to listen to him nor anybody. One of the guards was already on the floor with a bloodied head, while the other tried to fight the blond off. Breathing erratically, [Name] gritted his teeth and stood up with fake courage, taking the chair, gripping it as hard as he could, his skin turning white, and while Reiner was turned, [Name] said,

”I’m sorry Reiner!” And with a loud whimper the terrified assistant hit the back of Reiner’s head two times, luckily knocking him out. [Name] immediately threw the chair out of the way, kneeling to Reiner’s side and check on his pulse. “I didn’t hit you that hard, did I?!”

His attention then went for the other injured guard. Checking his pulse too, [Name] sighed in relief there was. He spoke to the other guard, “a—are you okay?!”

The man didn’t answer at first. He breathed heavily for a couple of minutes, seeing Reiner laying on the floor. “I thought I was going t fucking die,” he got up, dripping his sweat from his forehead. He then went to where [Name] was, checking on his partner. “Let’s just call the nurses...” the man quickly took his radio and spoke with codes [Name] didn’t know, signaling where they were and what they needed. “You didn’t have to do that. If you didn’t do what you did the three of us would be dead by now— three people to add in the fucking list.”

”The list...?”  A LIST? Has anybody died in this job?! "W-What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" The guard raised an eyebrow, blinking skeptically. "Since when do you work here?"

"U-Uh— one week ago?"

"It was just a dark joke, don't take it too seriously, doc."

Two nurses and two more guards went inside, interrupting [Name]'s curiosity about 'the list'. One guard and one nurse carried the unconscious guard on a stretcher, while the other pair laid Reiner on his bed. [Name], worried about a possible concussion, noticed there wasn't another stretcher for him.

"W-Wait— won't you send him in the infirmary?" The assistant asked, allowing being checked by the other nurse.

"We are not allowed to do that, doctor." The nurse simply answered, as if it wasn't a big deal. She didn't even look at him in the eyes—

"B-But—" [name] hissed when being touched on his neck, "he could be hurt!"

"We are not allowed to bring patients to the infirmary— the infirmary is only for workers: guards, doctors, and nurses."

"Then, how would you check on him without equipment...?"

"We are experts, doctor. No need to worry about Mr. Braun's health."

"Not to worry...? B-But I—"

"I believe you have to go to the infirmary, doctor. That bruise doesn't look good."

"But he—"

"Would we need to notify the director of your refusal on following instructions, doctor?" The nurse snapped, subtly glaring at him.

[Name] faltered. What was going on? "...of course not."

"Then let's go to the infirmary."

[Name] could not stop himself from looking behind him, watching Reiner on his bed. There wasn't blood on his clothes nor his head, but the nurse had told him he was "completely fine". The nurse hurried [Name] outside, tightening her grip on [name]'s arm, guiding him.

All the way to the infirmary, [Name] thanked he didn't run into someone he knew— if they reacted so worried with what happened with Eren, he didn't want to know how Erwin would react until he knew about this.

"Please, please don't let them notice..."

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

After going to the infirmary, the nurses had told him there wasn't anything harming. The bruise would eventually heal by itself, so there wasn't much to be checked anymore. Unfortunately for him, the bruise looked horrible and was much, much noticeable than the last one. Well, [name] couldn't really whine about it, at least the only thing he got was a nasty bruise, and not what Reiner was going for at first. Whatever change of mind he had at that moment, at least [name] was grateful for it.

The rest of his day was outside, watching other's patients routines. It seems for today there was luck on his side, because it didn't seem Zeke, Levi, Erwin nor Mike knew about the incident that transpired not to long ago. If they had knew, he would be in Erwin's office by now, or maybe the director was just waiting for tomorrow to decide what to do with him and Reiner.

Tomorrow was going to be a rough day for sure— Erwin had already forgiven Eren for a small angry attack, and [name] was sure he wouldn't pass this situation even if he begged for it. Hell, [name] would try regardless— Reiner has a serious disorder, that, at least, is a justification for what happened. The assistant was sure to try to not harm Reiner— something was not right...

[Name] could already see Vincent in the distance, waiting for him at the door. Of course— Vince had invited him to his apartment to eat burgers. How could he forget? Well, the past situation was stressful and dangerous, and the only thing in his mind for the rest of the day was tomorrow. Just remembering Erwin's cold stare made him nervous...

"You finish?" Vince asked, but just as [name] got nearer, the guard couldn't ignore the nasty bruise he had in his neck. "Woah! What the hell is that?!" he widened his eyes and locked closely at [name]'s neck.

[Name] tried to hide it by pulling his collar up, frowning. "It's not that serious... just had an accident today."

"That doesn't look like an accident, [name]." Vincent looked worried, "what happened? who did you have session with?"

[Name] pressed his lips, not sure if to answer with the truth. Well... Vincent had helped him before, and he didn't seem to be one for gossip. "Reiner."

The face Vincent made was hilarious to [name]. It seemed he had seen a ghost— the looked pale by the name. "R-Reiner?! Holy fuck, are you alright?! What did he do? Did the guards help you?! How—I—"

"Calm down!" [Name] chuckled, "it's not that serious! The guards came quickly and helped me."

"Not that serious!? Did he choke you?!" Vincent looked hurt— almost embarrassed. Was because he wasn't there to help him?

"...Yeah," the assistant scratched his face, "but he didn't do anything else, okay? why don't we just leave? I don't want to see the others right now..."

The guard could see [name] uneasiness, as he was looking around discretely. "Why? You don't want to be found with that on your neck?"

"You know how they get when something happens to me. They get... like a mom." Both laugh.

"But you know they will know eventually, right? Specially the director, he knows everything that happens here."

"I know... but I don't want to be here when that happens— I know tomorrow I'm going to get called once again to Mr. Smith's office, so let's leave!!" The assistant began to push Vincent to the door playfully.

"Okay, okay!" Vincent laughs, "let's go get some burgers, okay? And then we can watch some TV to at least forget for today what happened." [name] couldn't agree more with that. He was really hungry.

While Vincent talked, he discretely tangled his fingers with [name]'s, surprising him by the gesture. The assistant looks at him with a blush and widen eyes, but keeps silent. He averts his gaze, not minding Vincent's action. The guard grins, squeezing his hand.

"I know you will like them!" Vincent grins, looking childish. [Name]'s heart fluttered, smiling along with him. Both of them waved at Margaret before leaving. The woman was behind the reception, gently smiling at them and waving back.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

The trip trough Vince’s apartment is filled with laughter. The guard has come to the realization he loved hearing [Name]’s laugh, and his smile is too adorable to ignore. His past anger of what happened went forgotten, and just the image of [name] smiling for silly things he says makes him have butterflies.

They stop pretty far away from their main destination, dropping on a food area. There are plenty of food stalls around with bright signs— the place seemed dirty and not very well kept, but that didn’t matter to all the people who were around. [Name] didn't care much either— it wasn't as if his place was five stars, and he himself wasn't that caring.

Vincent guides him trough the alleys, getting on the burger stall he tells him about. The place seems pretty lonely— there's two pairs of people sitting on the counter eating their burgers. The one behind the counter notices Vincent, seeming to know him.

"Vince! Been waiting for you, where the hell were you?" the man speaks in a deep voice, "and who's that? your boyfriend?"

"W-Wha— James, don't scare him!!"

It was a man, maybe on his early forties. He had blond hair and his eyes were brown— he looked pretty tall too, maybe 6'0? He looked buff too, almost like Reiner. There was a scar on his neck and chin. He wore an apron with an image of a burger with a happy face on it, along with the name of the stall— 'happy mcburgers'. The apron and his rough appearance was a big contrast, and [Name] tried to hold his laughter as best as he could, not wanting to appear rude.

"Don't worry, [Name]. You can laugh at this fool! Who even wears an apron like that looking like a thug?!" Vincent shouted, smirking. The people who were sitting couldn't handle their laughter, and James only yelled at Vincent.

"And who wants to look like a stick like you, brat!!! Don't even insult me when you are eating my sacred food, boy!" he glares at Vince, sighing exasperatedly, "anyways, I'm James. I guess you are the [Name] he always talks about?"

[name] blinks, interested. "Oh? He talks about me?"

In the other hand, Vincent looks horrified, trying to shut James up. "James, don't, man!!! I take back what I said!!"

James laughs devilish, placing a hand on Vince's face and pushing him away, ignoring his yells. "Of course he does. He doesn't shut the hell up— in fact, you are the only thing he talks about when he gets here."

"That's... interesting," [name] said, blushing a little, "are they bad things?"

"Bad things? This idiot talks wonders about you— how CUTE you are and how—" the man gets interrupted by Vincent throwing ketchup at him, "what the fuck?! Stop using MY ketchup like that, you dumbass!"

"You didn't shut the hell up, old man!!!" he turns to [name], "don't hear him, [name]! He just wants to embarrass me!"

The assistant just laughs, seeing the two fight.

"Anyways, James!! Just give me the usual, but make that two." Vincent pouts, "you should thank me I got you a costumer!!!"

"Thank you? For one costumer? Man, you SAVED my job!" James sarcastically replies, already cooking. [Name] watches intently how he cooks the meat, almost drooling. "Anyways, how is that job going for you both? This kid actually looks smarter than you, so I know he's not a guard." He says, signaling [Name].

"You—!" Vincent frowns, "[Name] here is a doctor, and It's MY job to protect him!" He grins, signaling himself. "Been doing a pretty good job so far!"

"Yeah, I can see that," the man looks at the assistant's bruises, and the boy shyly hides it. "You both better need to look for another job. Your luck may run out sooner nor later."

"Hey, hey! You think I don't know that? But the pay is good, soooo..."

James and Vincent talk for a while, but [Name] doesn't join the conversation that much. It seems James knows somehow it's a dangerous job, possibly because Vincent talks about it? But what did he mean by 'luck'...? Yes, today was actually, a bad day for [Name], but in the end it went okay, as no one was killed. Not that he thought someone could get killed, anyways. Was that a possibility? Well, if he didn't contain Reiner someone surely was going to be harmed severely. But someone getting killed? That sounded too far... As he remembered, he didn't found anything that pointed out the Asylum had any accident like that. This only reminded him of what the guard said to him...

"Let's goooo!" Vincent's voice interrupts him, grabbing his wrist. "Thank you, James!! See you later or never!!"

"You would make me a favor if I stopped seeing you irritating face!" his eye twitches, but his expression softens a little to see [Name], who is waving at him, "and it was nice to meet you, kid. Hope you can bear this idiot."

Vincent guides him between some alleys, stating it was faster. [Name] grew a little worried by how shady they looked, and tried to not think about some thief coming out from the shadows to get them. Luckily the two made it safely to an apartment complex, and [name] could not stop thinking about his own— it looked pretty similar to the exterior of his own.

"You live alone?" [name] asked as both went up the stairs. The elevator had a note saying “out of service”, but thankfully Vincent’s room wasn’t at the top of the building.

"Yep. Been on my own since I was sixteen."

[Name] blinks, surprised by how young he had been. "Really?! And... your parents...?"

Vincent bits his lip, "Well... they left me on my own, so it has been me cycling around jobs."

"S-Sorry for asking..."

"Hey! Don't look upset!" He touches his hand, "if you think about it, if something in my life had been different I wouldn't be here with you."

"You say embarrassing things to someone you have shortly met..." Vincent signals a door— 302. He unlocks the door, opening and inviting [Name] in.

The guard grins as [Name] enters. "Love at first sight, possibly?"

[Name] laughs, "you are dumb!”

The apartment is cozy, just like his own. Vince tells him to sit on the sofa while he takes something to drink. “Do you drink?”

”Not really— I can’t handle it very well.” It was true– [Name] couldn’t remember the last time he had drank, but Porco had told him he can get very touchy when he is in the drunk state.

Vincent places the food on the table, turning the tv after. Immediately, an urgent voice of a woman fills the room— it seems it’s a horror movie. The brunette sits on the floor, looking more comfortable there. [Name] follows.

[Name] takes a bite from the burger, watcing the tv. There’s curiosity growing on him, wanting to know more about Vince, and he can’t help but ask, "ho did you even find the asylum?"

Vincent takes his time, cleaning his face. "A friend told me they were hiring instantly, and I saw the payment so I left my previous job and well here I am."

The assistant looks at him, "Is it hard...?"

Vincent takes a sip of his beer, "sometimes," he hums, "how did you find it?"

"I found an ad in the newspaper! I was surprised they gave me an interview right away, and I was much more surprised when Mr. Smith hired me the same day!" [Name] can’t help but smile at the memory of his messy interview and Erwin’s nice behavior towards him.

"And you..." he asked inquisitive, "don't think about some other places to work...? maybe near your place?"

[name]'s joy flattered, "I tried to but this was the only place I found an opportunity.” he frowns, feeling a bit upset, “A—Am I... Irritating?"

Vincent’s eyes widen, looking horrified. "Oh god, no! I didn't mean it that way, [name]!" He hold his hand tightly, trying to fix his error, "I'm just saying that this work— it can't be hard and dangerous! And, uh, I care about you. And also like you, and I don't want to see you hurt, and—"

[Name] blinks repeatedly, hearing the small confession. "You like me?"

The brunette gulps loudly, blushing a little. He looked embarrassed, evading [Name]’s gaze. ”Y—Yeah... yes, I do.”

[Name]’s face redden. Of course he liked him! Vincent was kind to him and he made it quite evident with his flirting— was that even a surprise?

“I thought that was pretty clear— with the other date and all...” he chuckles awkwardly. 

“B–But— I’m an idiot and dumb and clumsy and—“

“And I like you over all these things,” he grins, looking more confident, “could we... be together like that... someday?”

A small frown is clear in [Name]’s face, but his redden face doesn't wear out. He looks at Vince with unsure eyes, “W–We’ll see. Is that okay, Vincent?”

Vince can’t stop seeing [Name]’s pretty face— his long eyelashes, his soft lips pouting, how he looks at him... “S–Sure! Oh fuck, you are so cute!” the guard hides his blushing face behind his hand, laughing awkwardly. "Don't feel pressured or anything, o-okay?!"

"S-Sure!" [Name] hastily took a bite from his burger, watching the TV but not really processing what was on it. The confession had him thinking— did he like Vincent? He was kind to him, and never passed boundaries or did something he didn't like. He was reliable and looked for his security, but that was his job after all. [Name], on the other hand, didn't have much to offer. He was... pretty uncomfortable to be in another relationship after what had happened before... The assistant was glad Vincent didn't pressure him for an answer, though. He cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject. “Uhm... sorry If I’m obtrusive, but how come have you been able to sustain yourself for so long?”

Vincent blinks, his face coming to normality. ”Oh well,” he blinks at the tv a couple of times, “I knew I wouldn’t afford going to college, so I tried to finish high school. Unfortunately, I dropped in my senior year.” He takes a sip of his beer.

”It was tough being so young and trying to find a good job. As you expect, there were many jobs that weren’t that... nice. I tried to not get into shady ones, because I knew nothing good would come out of it in the end. I didn’t think it was worth it.”

[Name] subtly looks at him, playing with his hands. "Aren't you... in contact with your parents?"

He laughs, "hell no. Why would I? Mom even with his abu—" he stops himself, not finishing his sentence. Sighing, Vincent looks at the floor with a frown, clearly displeased by what he remembered. "Maybe someday I can get this weight off of me."

"I'm sorry, Vincent! I'll should just shut my mouth!" [Name] desperately tried to apologize, cursing mentally by his curiosity. Why couldn't he just shut up? Was he always this pushy?

"Perhaps I could tell you later, sweetheart." He smiles, "I can see you want to ask more things, so don't be shy."

[Name] takes a bit of his burger, looking at Vincent shyly. The guard curses mentally at how cute he looked once again. ”Since when have you been working at the asylum?”

”Two years,” he sighs, “I know it doesn’t look too dangerous, [Name]. But believe me, it gets risky every time."

"How come I haven't got anything dangerous?"

Vincent raises a brow. "Reiner session wasn't dangerous?"

"Well... not that much!" He laughs, hiding his bruises discretely.

"Okay, we do have months that are peaceful. Like now. But when we have the stressful months..." He rubs his temples, "no matter who is it, there's a chance they will have a meltdown."

"But..." [name] wonders— didn't the upper floor were being more active with guards and nurses lately? He couldn't deny seeing various workers going upstairs. "Lately many workers had gone to the upper floors. Does that mean we are going in the stressful state?"

"I'm afraid we are. I guess next month is going to be a nightmare."

"W-What has been the riskier thing that has happened?"

"Well, it varies, but these are some of my personal experiences. Sometime Reiner got so angry at something in the cafeteria he threw a table to another patient."

"He threw a table?!! But they look so heavy!"

"Yup. I was amazed at his strength— when we were remodeling the cafeteria we had to move the tables with two or three people." He explains, "that’s why they are heavy as hell, so things like that doesn’t happen. But now we take a lot of precaution around Reiner. The guy can just throw you a punch and knock you out.”

“I—I see...”

“There was another time where my past partner got his finger bit off by Sean, another patient."

"H-His finger!?" [Name] looks at his hands with fear, gulping. “H-He didn’t sue or anything?”

Vincent laughs, “of course. But surprise— the contract we sign explicitly says ‘we are not responsible of any harm or accident you may suffer’. That sucks.”

”T-That’s... horrible.” He didn’t even notice he signed to his death. Now working there didn’t sound too wonderful— everyone, no matter who, risked their lives to the people they were helping. If they were anyways.

“That’s why I’m telling you to reconsider.”

[Name] sighs. “As you know, finding a job isn’t easy,” he bits his lip, “I applied to nearly seven jobs and nobody wanted me. Mr. Smith is the only one who took compassion on me and hired me.” [Name] smiles at the memory of Erwin’s kindness— if it wasn’t for him, maybe [Name] would be in the streets by now.

Vincent’s face grim by the sound of Erwin, “that man—“

[Name]’s phone ringing interrupted their chat. The boy responds, looking pretty nervous by who the caller was. The guard raised a brow, pouting.

”Hello? Eh— Porco!” [Name] blinks, “sorry, I didn’t see the hour! Hey— it’s not that late!!!”

Vincent looks at the clock, surprised it’s now 9:30. How in the hell time flied so fast? 

Noticing the call ended, Vincent couldn’t stop himself from asking who the caller was— someone keeping track of where he was in such hours? “Who was it? Your boyfriend?”

”Of course not!! Porco is my neighbor, and my friend!! He gets really worried about me. You know, how it is in the nights around our areas," the assistant gets up, dusting himself, "I should get going..."

”Let me accompany you." Vincent followed suit, turning the tv off.

”Is there a bus stop near?”

"The only one near was the one we dropped by... so no, unfortunately," he frowns, ”sorry I don’t have a car— could’ve dropped you off but...” he blinks, grinning, “hey! I have a bicycle!!!”

”Uh—Hey! Can we get the two on it? Isn't it dangerous?"

"Of course not! We're going to look like these ghibli movies."

"You are ridiculous!"

For some strange reason Vincent had his bicycle forgotten in some room, but luckily it wasn't damaged and looked fine. Both left the apartment, both helping to not drop the bicycle on all the stairs. Eventually they succeed after some painfully minutes— as they left the building, [Name] sighed in relief and passed a hand trough his hair.

"Okay," Vincent gets on, turning to see [Name] as he grinned, "get on!"

[Name] chuckled nervously, getting behind Vincent. "Don't make us fall."

"Of course not! I'm like, a master in the bicycle..." Vincent spoke with a low voice, trying to mimic an old man. [Name] laughed, holding tight.

The ride was fun— Vincent tried to go as fast as possible, almost making both fall. They passed James' stall, [Name] waving at him with a big smile. The man just laughed, whispering to himself 'young love'. Both Vincent and [Name] talked all the way, or more like yelled at each other. Nevertheless, the ride come to an end once [Name] saw his lonely and shady building in the distance. Once Vincent stopped [Name] got off, trying to fix his messy hair.

"That was pretty fun, wasn't it?" Vincent spoke, looking at [Name] with a big smile.

The assistant returned the expression, "I can't deny it. But it was pretty dangerous too!"

"But there wasn't any damage— so it's completely fine."

The assistant shakes his head with a chuckle, ”Thank you, Vincent.” [Name] pecks his cheek, “see you tomorrow!” He says as waves at him and walks away, feeling warmer.

Vincent, with a goofy smile, gently rubs his kissed cheek. “S-Sure! See you tomorrow [Name]!!”

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

[Name] sighs as he enters the building, feeling tired. He didn't mind it tho— spending time with Vincent was nice, and plus, he learned a little more about him. A relationship seemed pretty soon; he didn't feel ready at all, but he couldn't deny the guard was at least, growing on him. It wasn't as if [Name] was that defensive about making friends, but when it came to serious relationships he was... thoughtful. That was something serious!!

”There you are!" A voice is heard coming near, and [Name] tries to hide his new bruise as quickly as he can.

Where were you— what the,” he blinks, “WHAT IS THAT?!” Porco's eyes widened, pointing at his neck.

”Porco!! Don’t raise your voice, there are people sleeping!!” [Name] whispered, trying to shush Porco.

”What the fuck just happened to you?! I told you that place was bad!” He angrily whispered, gritting his teeth. “I can’t believe it!”

”It was an accident! It’s not that bad!”

”Haven’t you seen yourself in a mirror? That’s no accident. What the hell happened?” Porco took [Name]'s collar and pulled it a little, seeing the damage. It looked pretty bad— he didn't want to imagine how he got that, but he already had some ideas in mind.

"It was an accident." [Name] said once again, covering it. "Nothing happened to me, Porco. I'm completely fine!"

"I can't believe you— what do you want? To get killed?" He huffed, crossing his arms, "drop that job immediately."

[Name] blinks, "drop it? o-of course not! It was so hard to get hired! I can't just do that, Porco!"

"[Name], do you have a death wish?"

"I can't." [name] frowns, "I won't do that— I can't just be selfish and leave them like that."

"Them? Really, [name]?" Porco passes a hand on his temples, clearly exasperated, "don't tell me you just grow attached to whoever you are talking about."

"They are patients, and I can't just leave them like that after getting inside their lives!" [Name] pouts, not liking one a bit what Porco suggests. He can't leave them, honestly. Leaving would not help nothing at all, and if [name] can guess, it's not that he could leave, anyways.

"You surely can get this stubborn— I really can't believe this." He grows, "and this happens just when I'm leaving... what a nice thing to happen."

"Look, Porco— nothing will happen to me, alright? I promise!"

"Of course, sure thing. Only you would say something like that when you almost got choked to death, right?"

[Name] confident voice flatters, "I-I didn't get—"

"Of course you fucking did," he grits his teeth, "I'll think on something. You won't be there forever, [Name]. That place will only kill you."

"I'm promising you nothing will happen," [name] raises his pinky finger, "I'm swearing it."

"You can be really childish, you know that?"

"If you don't complete the promise with me, I will get cursed!"

"Dummy..." the blond tangles his pinky finger with [name]'s, looking at the other side in embarrassment. "Just hang on, okay? Don't do stupid stuff over a company that won't do anything for you in return."

"Porco, I'm swearing to my dignity nothing will happen." [Name] frowns, straightening his stance.

"What dignity?"

"Porco!!!"

i just read the entirety of reiss mental asylum and i'm in love skfhtuebfo

im so happy to read this!! 😭😭 i've been receiving a lot of kind comments, but sometimes i can't stop myself from thinking the story is boring and flat...💦💦 but reading your comment really makes me happy. thank you for reading! and very sorry for the wait- life has been pretty upsetting lately, but i hope i can get my ass to write soon! i have a lot of ideas for it. c: 🌻 stay tuned—!🌻💕

2/2 pop up in the 'male reader ' tag and ngl i did skip over it a few times bc i just didnt know what it was about (and im glad i didnt this one time bc ur writing is 💯💯💯) .. and also: i rec putting "x male reader" in the title. i know you have that for your oneshot with jean and eren, but it's not on your flower curse series - like the summary, it helps the readers know what theyre reading. so far that's all i can say, so yeah. (and btw! are u taking requests??)

thank you very much for your advice! i’m going to edit the posts and add information of the story in the beginning.

i really don’t take requests bc im so bad in taking inspiration and my update schedule is a little late, but you can totally sent me a request! :D will try my best. <3

again, thank you for helping me! <3

Im literally so amazed and happy to see such beautiful works 😭😭 thank you so much for drawing about flower curse! Im so happy omg 🥺💕 this is literally the best thing ever in existence!!!

Im sure we cant wait to see more of your amazing works 😭😭😭💕 i was getting so excited since you said you would do more ;////; thank you sosososo much! <3 you are so talented and you deserve so much attention!

Some happy/angsty reader from @n0irrrr ‘s fic Flower Curse

Seguir leyendo

Flower Curse | 2

[levixmale!readerxerwin]

this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease.

summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

o n e

The second time was a close call. You were with Erwin and Mike in the mess hall, talking about the next expedition. Somehow, Levi wasn't with you and was with his squad, possibly talking about the same topic as you three were. He wasn't that far to you so you could easily look at him and obviously, Petra sitting next to him with her sweet smile, looking at him with that idiotic face you hate.

You liked Petra— you truly did. But seeing her so close to him –knowing her true feelings– and he just keeping quiet about it... made you feel heartbroken and angry. You once did believe he could have seen you like a partner when you first met him, but it seemed that couldn't be. You thought you could have get close to him— did all of your attempts were for nothing? It seemed so. He didn't even looked at you; you were nobody.

You didn't mean to stare for too long, so Erwin tried to get your attention when he noticed you weren't answering him.

“[Name], I asked what your thoughts were. Are you listening?”

You quickly began to blink and looked at him a little confused. “I'm sorry, Erwin. Didn't really hear you, what did you say?”

Erwin gave you a questioning look and followed where your gaze was a moment ago– just as he noticed who you were looking at, his expression softened, returning facing you.

“So that's what's been keeping you distracted all day. I guess I expected it.”

“It's nothing I can't handle, I'm going to get over it anyways.” you shrugged and took a bite on the horrible bread, the taste making your face change in disgust.

Mike noticed your affections to the corporal right away. Somehow, your smell changed when you were with him or were watching him; it was confusing at first, but he understood it right away. But now, you smell different... and he couldn't recall the aroma. Was it... some flower? No— your scent was from old books and ashes. Flowers wasn't on it, but he's not so sure now.

“Well, “getting over it” it's not easy, [Name]. I'm surprised he hasn't noticed, he usually does.” Erwin says looking at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Whatever,” you tried to change the topic because of all the cadets on the mess hall. It didn't matter if all the chatter from everyone was loud so you couldn't care about someone hearing your conversation, but there was always someone eavesdropping. Or maybe you didn't want to feel the pain in your chest when you talked about this? “The expedition, you were talking about—” taking a last glance at Levi's table was a big mistake. What you saw made you feel your chest tightened; Levi and Petra hands were touching under the table, and you knew nobody but you noticed it. You suddenly felt sick.

You coughing so harshly made your commander worried, while he was gently patting your back to help you, Mike gave you water from his cup, but stopped when he smelled the same sent he was thinking before— something soft... a flower he knows... but which one? Maybe daisies? No—

You felt something very wrong with you. Feeling like throwing up made you cover your mouth with your hand, you got up from the seat ignoring Erwin's worried questions and waking up Mike from his daze. You ran out of the mess hall as fast as you could, missing the confused and some worried looks some of the cadets gave you, including Levi's. You didn't care at all, you wanted to get the hell out of there.

Instead of going to the bathroom you went to your office. You didn't know how, but you knew what was happening, with hurry you opened the door and closed it as you could, then uncovering your mouth and finally throwing up... yellow flowers?

“What— What is this?!” you thought, horrified. You were scared— who couldn't be? This wasn't something you have seen at all. “What's happening to me?!”

Stopping throwing up flowers, your eyes were red from the crying and force, your throat was dry and you were patting for air. Kneeled on the floor, you just could see in distress the yellow flowers in front of you. You couldn't think anything; this was bizarre. Feeling exhausted from the sudden force, you couldn't do anything but examinate the flowers lying on the floor. Were they– roses? No-- you don't even know the stupid flowers' name.  Your attention was at one flower in particular; it looked like a complete flower. Did all of this was... inside your stomach?

The sight was horrifying.

Before you could gather your thoughts, someone opened the door along with a deep voice you knew. It was Erwin's.

“[Name]? Are you alr—”

Then, before he could finish, he stopped suddenly, processing what was in front of him. You didn't move at all or tried to explain what happened to you. You didn't even understand– everything was terrifying, just as the first time you saw a Titan. But the difference was that at this moment, flowers were your enemy and not some giant. Not this time, unfortunately.

Erwin walked and kneeled at your side, trying to reassure you with posing his hand on your shoulder and the other on your arm with gentleness. “How are you feeling? And why are flowers all on the floor? Mike and I were worried, you weren't in the bathroom as we thought.”

You were going to be honest with him. What was the point on lying if he could see trought you? You were done being a liar to him, and also, you were so scared. You could feel your hands shaking because of your emotions and the sudden force of throwing up.

With a trembling voice, you talked, “Erwin... I– I threw up the flowers.”

He just confusingly looked at you, with a raised eyebrow. He was looking at you saying “do you think I'm this dumb?” But the look on your eyes gave everything away; he knew you were telling the truth. Seeing you so scared and vulnerable made him worried– this wasn't your usual self. You weren't like this at all, looking at your eyes he tried to find the lies he was used to, but only saw fear. Accepting you were telling the truth, Erwin was as confused as you were— in fact, he never heard something like this before.

“You threw up... flowers...” he said to himself as if processing the information you gave him. He was thinking what could this be-- but wasn't certain. He never saw a disease like this– was it even possible? Well, it looked like you were a living proof of it.

He helped you stand, you felt horribly weak so hanging on him looked like the right choice. Erwin looked deep in thought, his frown giving it away. You didn't say anything; you just rested on his chest and tried to calm yourself, closing your eyes in exhaustion.

“We need to go with Hange, this isn't good [Name],” He said looking at you, with a demanding stare. You knew he was worried about you— so you just nodded. You didn't feel like talking anyway. “I will order a recruit to clean this, so don't think about doing it.” no looking for an answer you two left your office, heading to Hange's office.

The walk was slow— you felt dizzy from walking normally, so Erwin decided to walk at your slow rhythm. You felt weak— you didn't like what was happening at all, but complaining about it wasn't going to help anything. You needed to understand how was this possible, and why was happening to you.

But it looked like life was against you today; suddenly you saw Levi standing in front of you, watching the two of you with his usual glare of him, arms crossed.

“Oi. What happened to you? You look like shit.” the Corporal said, walking were Erwin and you were. The hall was practically deserted, lunch wasn't over so the three of you were the only souls around.

You felt nausea all over again.

“Thanks Levi. I know I can always count on your sweet comments.” you tried to joke, but somehow your bitter voice made it through. In fact, you were feeling like shit and wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. You didn't even want to see him, not like this.

“I asked something,” he glared at you and then looked at Erwin, “What happened to this idiot?”

Your grip on Erwin tightened, giving a message you knew he understand. You didn't want to worry anyone— you didn't want to worry him. For now, this was between Erwin, you and soon, Hange.

He understood your message right away and answered, “[Name] threw up. We are saying he got food poisoned— so we are going to the infirmary to check him.”

Levi frowned and hummed. “The bread tasted shittier today, it must be it,” Looking at you he said, “I will go with him. You can return to your work, eyebrows.”

Erwin and you were suddenly uncomfortable, especially you. You didn't want to go with him-- just to see him made you feel sick all over again. But, if it was your luck or bad luck striking again, before any of you could say anything you three heard a female voice coming nearby. Again, the nausea returned with so much force– you could even feel the flowers raising, but you shut your mouth as tight as you could.

“Corporal! I was looking for you! The tea is— Oh! [Name], are you alright?!” Petra stood next to Levi and stopped to look at you with concern. “You look pale!” she tried to get near you, but you stopped her raising your hand, making her confused.

Erwin felt your grip tightened more than before, and he knew the reason why. He needed to leave with you fast, and before anybody could say anything Erwin talked.

“[Name] needs to see the nurse. Levi, I remember ordering you to train the recruits after lunch. Don't worry about [Name], he will be alright.”

And with that you two practically ran not waiting for an answer; leaving Petra dumbfounded and Levi with a questioning glance. You tried to not throw up and hold it as long as you could, this wasn't good– you prayed to get to Hange’s office already, and Erwin was practically carrying you bridal style. Some cadets and squad leaders were on the hall, and you couldn't evade the questioning glances at you at all. It looked like you were going to be the topic for today, unfortunately. It wasn't every day you see the commander carrying someone like this– or even better, never.

Erwin practically bursted trough the door, surprising and scaring the hell out of Hange and Moblit who were inside the office. Before they could ask anything, Erwin closed the door with his back and you couldn't hold the flowers anymore, so you just threw up all of the yellow flowers that were inside your lungs. You were kneeling on the floor, with Erwin patting your back and Hange and Moblit looking at you surprised and horrified. Nobody dared to say anything; so Erwin was the first to break the silence.

“This is the situation we are in, Hange. We need your help.” he looked at Hange with a serious expression, still trying to comfort you as you still were throwing up.

x x x

Mike returned to the mess hall, sitting with his squad. Nanaba looked at him with a worried expression and asked, "Is [Name] alright? He looked very pale." It wasn't any secret that Mike's squad liked you; you liked hanging with them a lot of your free time. In fact, you liked to talk with a lot of squads, earning their trust and friendship.

Hearing her, Gelgar turned his attention to the two, a bit worried himself about the sudden action he saw earlier. "Yeah. [Name] looked just like me when I'm drunk as fuck," He tried to joke a little, just to earn a not-too-hard glare from Nanaba. "What? He could have drink a little yesterday! Don't give me that look."

"I believe Squad Leader [Name] wasn't drunk. He wasn't drinking any last night, and if I'm correct he doesn't drink."

Mike hummed, deep in thought. The two members of his squad only gave him a confused look he ignored. Nanaba and Gelgar knew this look on him- it was when he tried to know a certain smell. They decided to not to interrupt him when he was like this, so the two of them returned to their chat.

Suddenly, after some minutes, Mike blinked and smirked, only letting out a word: "Carnations."

Nanaba and Gelgar looked at him, stopping their chat a little, returning to it a little after.

t h r e e

Reiss Mental Asylum / 7

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

7

Two friends were in the cafeteria where patients were allowed to eat. The two where quietly talking; the blond played with his food in boredom, until he took a quick glance to the open doors of the caferia, seeing his precious doctor hurriedly passing near them, recognizing him by his soft [hair color] hair. His face lightened up instantly, confusing his brunette friend by the sudden change of demeanor.

“Armin, what is it?” The brunette asks, raising an eyebrow. It wasn’t usual —or maybe never— seeing his little friend’s face this happy. Well, nobody usually looked great here…

“Eren, remember the doctor I told you about? I saw him…” Armin softly spoke, looking dreamy. His eyes had an unusual shadow on them, replacing the sparks he once had. Placing his palm on his chin and supporting his elbow on the table, his gaze was locked where his doctor hurriedly passed. “He’s so beautiful…”

Blinking, the brunette tried to remember if he have seen the ‘beautiful doctor’ Armin told him about—but he couldn’t. His permissions were limited; he can’t go outside that often to see new workers in the area. His time in the garden he had never seen him; maybe it was just bad timing or the doctor hasn’t been outside the building much.

He was actually interested in the said doctor— afterall, his blond friend arrived at lunch very joyful one day, telling him everything about the new worker he just met. He told him he was so precious and gentle— just like an angel.

At first, Eren doubted it. No doctors nor nurses care about them in any way —well, maybe his brother does—, he told Armin to not trust them at first. He knows his friend, he knows Armin doesn’t trust that lightly, so when he heard such things leaving his mouth, it surprised him. Maybe this doctor is good at lying or is some kind of actor— Eren will not believe such things coming from a worker on this horrible place.

His brother haven’t told him about this new doctor— Armin had told him he was ‘Dr. Jaeger’s assistant’. Eren’s brother, Zeke, did tell him about some new workers on the building pretty often. New workers, murdered workers… As far as he knows, his brother doesn’t like babysitting, he had never accepted an 'assistant’ before. When he heard the news from Armin, it did surprised him he didn’t know before him. Him not saying a word of this 'angel’ took him aback— maybe it was a coincidence Armin fell on the charms of this stranger, just as his brother doesn’t tell him about him… Strange, indeed.

The brunette deduced he was going to meet this newbie very soon, and he will decide if he is playing Armin like a fool or not. If so, well… he will pay for it. After all, disposing workers here isn’t that hard.

“I’m telling you, Eren… He’s so beautiful…”

Closing his eyes, Eren stays in silence. He will decide if something like that is true or not, in its given time. He just have to wait and see.

++++++++++++++++

Reiner Braun. Split personality; his usual demeanor is 'easy going’. Seems charming and flirty at first– when nurses that take his attention come to him to apply medication, don’t be surprised when the patient talks in a degenerative way.

His other self has a name- “The Warrior”. Reiner has the same backstory as Bertolt Hoover; member of a cult, forced to do violent acts on others, affecting his mental health. Reiner split himself in two personas: the 'normal’ Reiner for his 'normal’ life, and the 'warrior’ Reiner for the cult’s acts.

The Warrior persona is extremely dangerous, violent and aggressive. Don’t even think of uncoffing him without guards on the room.

Can kill without mercy.

“Remember: don’t get near him by any means. Understood?” Erwin speaks, trying to be clear. He’s worried about his [Name] — he was going to meet with one of the most dangerous patients this building had.

“I understand, Mr. Smith. There’s nothing to worry! Guards are outside the room, nothing will go wrong.”

“Yep. That’s my assistant— being a big and brave boy. You are doing better than I thought, [Name].” Zeke remarked, squishing [Name]’s shoulders with his hands, sending a grin to Erwin, which only glared irritably in return. All of this without [Name] knowing, who was nervous enough by thinking of his session. And when he was going to be watched by his two bosses didn’t make him calm and confident— not after the little scolding he got from Erwin the other day.

Blushing by the compliments from his boss, [Name] stuttered, “t—thank you, Dr. Jaeger!”

“I told you to call me Zeke.”

“Y—Yes, Zeke…”

Erwin didn’t make it obvious he was disgustingly jealous of how Zeke was close to the young male. Erwin did admit his lack of control affected negatively his relationship with [Name], even if he wanted to keep a blind eye about it. He could notice the assistant avoided looking at him, his shoulders tensed and he looked nervous around him. He had to keep his composure— he knew Zeke wanted to make him jealous and take pay back of what he said the other day. Erwin scolded himself for how he treated [Name]; he just couldn’t hold his anger seeing the beautiful male being touched by a corrupted man.

“Well then, there’s nothing more to say. We’ll see everything from the other room as always.” Erwin smiled, trying to look less intimidating. [Name]’s shoulders relaxed a little, but the blond could catch his nervousness in his hands. “Just like you said, nothing will go wrong. But please, be careful, alright?”

[Name] nodded, Zeke glared but stayed in silence. The three of them walked until they stopped in front of a door with two guards. [Name] felt nervous and a little intimidated, but he tried to calm himself.

The two doctors could see his nervous state— but just one acted faster than the other. That one, was Zeke, who ruffled [Name]’s hair. “Good luck, kätzchen.”

Blushing by the action of his boss, [Name] quietly muttered a thanks before opening the door. A tense silence overcome the two doctors, and the area felt colder and dark. The two guards who were present felt the sudden change of behavior of the two doctors. They sweated and gulped nervously, knowing full well their attitude when they got angry or strict was scary as hell.

Without speaking a word, Erwin and Zeke entered the room next to where [Name] was.

“I’m winning, eyebrows.” Zeke remarked, not stopping his smirk appearing.

“We’ll see that, four eyes.”

++++++++++

“And who is this cutie?”

Ignoring the flirty comment, [Name] spoke. “Hello! I’m Dr. Jaeger’s assistant. I will help him from now on.” The young male sat down, looking at the big blonde. He was handcuffed, but he looked like wasn’t that bothered by it. “I’m [Name], what’s your name?” The assistant tried his best to not look intimidated by the blond— he looked as if he could kill him by just hugging him to death!

“Reiner. So, finally there’s a pretty face around here, uh? And I’m lucky enough to be your patient, doc.” The blond smirks, looking at [Name] like a prey. “I must be dreaming.”

“I’m not sure if you are lucky or not, but this isn’t a dream.” [Name] stated, giving a smile. “This session is to know each other. Maybe hear each other interests and—”

“I’m extremely interested in fucking you right now, häschen.” Reiner grinned, seeing how [Name] chokes on his own saliva, blushed by the comment. The blond decides to keep the teasing, enjoying the reaction. “I wonder how you would feel under me, [Name]. Seeing you all flustered by just a comment makes me wonder if you are still a virgin.” Reiner laughs.

The two males watching the session shift irritated. Zeke grunts, while Erwin only coldly stares.

“I can’t imagine how sweet your moans would hear— would you beg for me to stop or to keep going? would you want more? What do you think, [Name]?” The blond jokingly asks, not expecting an answer, “How many times would you came? I wonder how many thrusts you can bear before coming. Hell, I think I would consider fucking you every night. You look irresistible, [Name].”

The young assistant covers his mouth, averting the strong gaze. [Name]’s face is completely red, and he can’t help but feel embarrassment by what he’s hearing. “Please, Reiner—”

“Oh my, already begging? That coming from your lips makes me hot. Say my name again, darling.” The blonde can feel his lower area getting hard by hearing his name— Reiner can’t help but love the other’s male voice. How innocent the other looks, how easily flustered he gets by just teasing him. Grunting, he says, “by just teasing you you react like this, I can’t help but imagine how would you get with me making love to you.”

[Name] didn’t have any control on the situtation— Reiner seemed worse than Jean! The young assistant couldn’t find anything to stop the teasing —if that still was teasing—, but tried to make it clear he wasn’t going to have that kind of relationship with his patients.

“Mr. Braun, stop! We will not do anything like that! We cannot and we won’t. So please, let’s focus on our session right now.”

“Well, sweet cheeks, right now I cannot focus with a boner and a hot cutie right in front of me.”

[Name] covered his face with both of his hands, red painting his cheeks. Just how he will talk to Reiner normally?! It seemed impossible!

Thankfully, someone harshly opened the door, and both Reiner and [Name] turned to see Zeke, who didn’t look very happy with what was happening. Reiner grunted irritably by the interruption, glaring at the blond doctor.

“D-Dr. Jaeger? The session isn’t over…” [Name] gently said, ashamed of how the session was going. He averted Zeke’s glare —which wasn’t meant for him— and gulped.

“Will take it from here, [Name]. You can go now.” Zeke said in a deep and dangerous tone, tensing his assistant. Nevertheless, the young male obeyed, saying quiet farewells to both males in the room, and left.

Reiner was smirking at Zeke, clearly understanding why he interrupted the little teasing he was doing. “Didn’t expect you to have the hots for your assistants, doc.”

The doctor sat down and crossed his arms, glaring straight at Reiner. “I believe I can have the hots for anybody I want, Reiner.”

“Well, I can’t judge. Häschen’s body looks fantastic— I think I’m going to have a great night tonight, if you know what I mean.” Reiner winked, doing a gesture with his hand, moving it up and down with his fingers slightly curled, as if he was holding something.

Zeke was furious— the thought of this dirty man jerking off imagining his assistant infuriated him to no end. He wanted to punish this disgusting being, he wanted to dispose of him. Unfortunately for him, he had to collect himself and behave.

“Let’s see what your medication have to say about your night activities.” The blond narrowed his eyes, inspecting Reiner, who didn’t look happy by the statement. Zeke knew how to calm Reiner’s demeanor by force— no patient likes to hear about their daily doses. The blond slightly smirked, “what? no comments now?”

Reiner glares in silence. Zeke can deduce the blond is not in his warrior persona right now— his expression hasn’t changed drastically yet. Unfortunately, he can’t be sure when he will change.

“You have to stop this teasing you do with the workers. Specially, to my assistant.”

Smirking, the blond let out a deep laugh, “what? I’m just playing. All of you are nothing but devils— Häschen is lucky enough to catch my attention.”

He’s changing. “He is Dr. [Last Name] for you. No 'häschen’, Reiner.”

“He’s just a little bunny between wolves— I wonder how much little häschen will last till he breaks.” Reiner’s face turns darker— sinister. His smirk doesn’t has a snarky vibe, it’s grim and devilish.

Zeke grits his teeth, and clench his fists. “You will not do anything to him, you disgusting—”

“Who says I will be the one who will do it? By the looks of it, looks like you are the perfect devil for the job.” Reiner smirks, “he looks so naive… I really can imagine him under me. So fragile and sweet, even for someone belonging to a devil race like him…”

“You will not touch him.”

Reiner darkly chuckles, “we’ll see that.”

Zeke gives a deadly glare, knowing full well Reiner was going to be a problem just like Erwin and the others.

This is going to be tougher than he thought.

I will wait till I see you again, häschen.

+++++++++

“I—I’m sorry… I thought I could make it work but…” [Name] looked at the floor, ashamed. The session didn’t go the way he wanted to, and his bosses had to see how bad it went.

Erwin smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, [Name]. We all have our first time. I’m sure you will get better soon— thats why Zeke and I accompany you to your sessions, to help you improve.”

Gaze still on the floor, [Name] can’t help but feel embarrased. But Erwin notices this, and gives a small squish to [Name]’s shoulder, in an attempt to comfort him. “Weren’t you determinated to help them the other day? These things happen often, don’t feel as if you just made a fool of yourself. I will help you, that’s why I’m here.”

That’s enough to make [Name] look at him, red painting his cheeks. The assistant isn’t upset anymore thanks to the blond’s words— but it’s embarrased enough to hear him so kind to him.

“T—Thank you, Mr. Smith!” [Name] can’t help but stutter, “I—I really appreciate that…”

Looking softly at him, Erwin can’t suppress a strange smile to appear. His hand slowly places on [Name]’s cheek, softly caressing his lips. “It’s no problem.”

There’s silence. [Name] doesn’t know what to do next, so he doesn’t do anything to stop the blond’s actions. He’s unsure of what to do, but it looks like Erwin is content enough by touching his [Name].

The blond slowly gets closer to [Name]’s face, and the assistant places his hands on Erwin’s shoulder, confused.

“Sir…?”

Erwin doesn’t answer, but before he can gets much closer, the door opens, interrupting the little moment they were having. [Name] turned to see Zeke rubbing his temples, while Erwin’s hand is still on [Name]’s cheek, but his soft expression turned into an irritated one directed at Zeke.

“Phew. Well, [Name]. our next stop is the gardens.” Zeke sighs, but when he looks at the two and their closeness, Zeke can’t help but glare and remark, “…I believe Dr. Smith has matters somewhere else to attend to, right?”

The taller blond clenches his teeth, holding his irritation from showing. “Yeah…” he sighs, rubbing his temples, before smiling to [Name] once again. “See you later, [Name]. Remember what I said, alright?” Squishing the assistant’s shoulder, the blond leaves, not without giving a deadly glare to Zeke, who furrowed his eyes at him, until he left.

Zeke turns to [Name], “remember what?”

Shifting nervously by the memories, [Name] playa with his hands, looking where at the door where Erwin left. “Nothing…”

Zeke is so close to grunt like an animal but holds himself. The scene he just saw wasn’t something good by any means— something inside him shifted angrily, and he clenched his hands into a fist. The doctor couldn’t shake the dark thoughts about what he could do to Erwin, when no eyes were prying around—

“Doctor…?”

The blond shakes his head, looking at [Name]. Eyeing him, he scratches his ear with his index finger. “Let’s go.”

+++++++++++

“We’ll watch the patients do their therapy in the garden— remember to take notes on everything you see. After all, you soon will assist me here.”

“Alright!”

[Name] payed attention to every detail he could catch— some patients curiously looked at him, wondering who he was. The assistant smiled at them in return, gaining some blanked stares and sometimes, a small smile.

The garden was big— it wasn’t a surprise. After all, the asylum was placed in a forest, so a garden this big was expected. White benches were placed around it, and bushes of many sizes decorated the place. The patients could be seen taking care of their respective plants and flowers with the assistance of their doctors and nurses. Many guards were far away, carefully watching the patients.

[Name] made eye contact with a certain guard, and smiled. In return, the guard smirked and winked at him, making [Name] blink in surprise and blush.

“What is it?” Zeke interrogated, instantly noticing the male’s flustered behavior.

“Uh— Nothing! Hehe…” [Name] replied, averting his gaze. Zeke narrowed his eyes, trying to decipher the reason of this demeanor— and certainly, a blush doesn’t say anything good…

“Don’t forget to take your notes. I will help you with this, but it would be better if you observe and learn. Don’t distract.” The blond doctor demanded in a hard tone, trying to inspect the area to see what caught [Name]’s attention, but he didn’t find anything special or out of order.

“Y—Yes, doctor!”

“Zeke.”

“Zeke!”

Somehow satisfied by the answer, Zeke took a last glance to his assistant, before a doctor near the area called for him. The blond doctor mentally grunted by the interruption— he certainly wanted to get some… time with his assistant, and useless people getting on his way certainly irritated him.

The blond didn’t want to leave [Name] all alone in the middle of this place, just at the sight of everyone’s disgusting eyes. He wanted to keep his assistant safe in his presence. This place was dangerous for him— but right now, he didn’t have much to do. For now.

Without much option, Zeke left [Name], telling him he will return soon. The [hair color] haired male only nodded, determinated to not fail his boss on his task— observe and learn. Maybe he can make him proud again!

The assistant observed and took more notes— he was immersed by the sessions, but a certain feeling made him snap from his thoughts. It was weird— he felt something behind his head… [Name] slowly turned, only to meet with green eyes dangerously looking— no, hawking at him.

The gaze made shivers down his spine; they were cold. [Name] could tell the male was a patient by his white clothes. He had brown hair tied in a bun, and even if his eyes were something [Name] think were beautiful, the icy glare made the thought quickly disappear.

[Name] tried to look nice and friendly, waving and smiling at him, but the smile quickly turned in a thin line, seeing no response from him. Gulping, [Name] tried to think something else to do— but the unknown patient slowly walked away, satisfied of what he just saw.

[Name] was left with his thoughts, confused and taken aback by the strange interaction. He was here before, and he didn’t catch a patient look at him like that… not even when he walked trough the halls and met some patients…

What just happened weirded him out… but hey, maybe that patient was just curious, or doesn’t know how to express himself, right? Right! There’s no worrying about it— it’s just curiosity. Don’t stress, [Name].

The assistant notices an unknown area— it’s a few meters away from where he is, and he can see one guard and a few patients planting flowers on the grass. It’s less crowded. [Name] takes a glance where Zeke is, noticing he is still talking to the doctor. Exploring wouldn’t be a bad idea, right? Nothing bad would happen; there’s guards anyways.

Walking trough, [Name] can’t help but admire the flowers. There are some pretty red roses— he approaches them, touching them softly.

“So you are the angel?” An unknown voice is hear saying, [Name] instantly turns, seeing the patient that was looking at him earlier. “What do they see in you?” he muttered to himself, eyeing the assistant to head to toe.

“I—I’m sorry?” [Name] tilts his head, confused. He can’t understand what he is referring to— angel? they? “I don’t understand…”

The brunette lets out an empty laugh, gaze locked on [Name]. “Looks like you don’t.” The patient can tell by just looking at the 'angel’ that he looks so much different from the usual nurses and doctors around. His face is gentle— disgustingly gentle. Was this the person that took Armin’s and Zeke’s mind?

“U–Uhm, I’m [Name], Dr. Jaeger's—”

“—Assistant, yes I know. Armin told me about you.”

[Name]’s face lightened by hearing the name, “Armin? He talks about me?”

“He certainly does. Pretty unexpected, so I wanted to meet you in person to see you weren’t bullshitting him.” Getting closer to [Name], the brunette eyes carefully the gentle face. “Armin doesn’t get along with doctors, as you may already know, doctor.”

The assistant sweats nervously, “I—Is that so…? I’m glad he likes me, I—I like him too!” He tries to smile.

The brunette hums, walking around [Name], watching him like a prey. The [hair color] haired male is uncomfortable by the dark and judging gaze, but tries his best to stay calm and collected.

“Uhm… you haven’t told me your name…” [Name] softly speaks.

The unknown male deeply chuckles, “there’s no rush. We’ll meet soon, angel.” Hiding his hands on his pockets, the unnamed patient returns to his neutral and cold expression, “sooner than you thought.”

“What? What do you—” the [eye color] eyed tries to ask, but the stranger is already leaving without hearing him. He blinks, still uncomfortable remembering being under such icy gaze. When he imagines it again, a shiver gets down his spine. “That was a little strange…”

[Name] doesn’t know how much time he has been standing like an idiot in there, but his thoughts are interrupted when he hears his boss’ voice getting nearer.

“[Name]?! Where did you went to?”

“Uh— I’m here!” He hurriedly walks to Zeke is, who doesn’t look pleased at all.

“I thought you would be smart and stay in my sight. I told you to take notes, not to explore.” Rubbing his temples, he sighs, “you know it’s dangerous, right?”

[Name] tries to not show his shame and sadness to show, but he’s not good at hiding his emotions. His eyebrows fell and his lips pressed in a thin line. Sad by the words his boss said to him, [Name] played with his hands. “I’m sorry, I thought with the guards and all there wouldn’t be much of a problem…”

“That doesn’t matter, [Name]! You have to stay in my sight at all times— I don’t care if there are guards around or not.” Zeke’s looked furious, but it was noticeable he was holding his anger from exploding. “You can’t just disappear without asking, that’s completely and absolutely idiotic! Unbelievable.”

[Name] was taken aback by him sounding so demanding and angry— just like Erwin was the other day. It intimidated him, so he didn’t have much of a choice to just mutter an apology, looking at the floor.

Zeke was furious— how could [Name] disappear from his sight like that? And in this place!? His assistant had to he with him at all times; he had to protect him from them. He had to know that.

Sighing, the blond tried to relax his tensed form. Rubbing his temples, he stayed in silence to think about his next words. He didn’t want to sound harsher like before, and tried to lower his voice in his normal tone. “Look— you have to stay in my sigh at all times. Yes, I know there are guards here but that doesn’t mean anything to me. You will stay with me, understood?” He sounded demanding and irritated— that didn’t come out well.

[Name] frowned. Wasn’t Zeke exaggerating a little much? Yes, he got there without 'permission’, but that didn’t mean he had to be yelled at. Nothing happened, and even if his boss didn’t 'care’ about the guards, [Name] was sure they were always watching. The assistant couldn’t understand the anger and scolding he got, but decided to stay quiet.

He reluctantly nodded, but that didn’t satisfy Zeke at all. Looking how [Name]’s gaze was locked on the floor without saying anything, irritated him. He didn’t want him acting like this; this wasn’t going well.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, and answer me when I’m asking you something.”

The [hair color] haired male slightly jumped by hearing the scary and demanding voice, and slowly tried to look at Zeke, only to meet with an irritated expression that didn’t calm his nerves at all. The doctor’s arms were crossed, and a creepy and cold aura surrounded him. [Name] became smaller, shifting nervously under the cold gaze.

“I… understand, sir…” [Name] gulped, trying to sound firm, but failing nevertheless.

“Understand what?”

“I—I understand what I did was wrong. It—It won’t happen again!”

Zeke looks satisfied enough by the answer, but deep down he feels conflicted by his emotions. He feels upset by seeing his [Name] frightened by him, but at the same time something tells him he has to understand his wrong doings and not feel empathy. He has to understand in some way…

The doctor begins to walk, which [Name] hastily gets behind him, following him. An awkward silence is evident, but none of them try to break it. Zeke frowns, looking ahead, while [Name] looks at the floor.

They don’t notice the prying eyes watching everything that happened, smirking in amusement by what took place.

Interesting— who could have thought big bro is this overprotective over someone he just met. Angel certainly has something, then.

The stranger walks away, thinking about the angel.

Child of the sun, come back

[ascended!astarion x gn!spawn!reader]

You had colorful memories, once: vivid flower fields, triumph smiles, faces that gave you comfort. But now, images of curtains with the sun behind blurred your mind, leaving darkness where color had been, once.

1122words / one shot / angst

note: after years of not writing anything, baldurs gate has inspired me to write just a little bit. ascended astarion has some good angst around him and i love it

There were days spent in the hollow main room, where the curtains protected your being from becoming dust. A lonely chair in front of the window, where just a peek welcomed a ray of the sun to meet the cold room. You just admired it quietly, desiring it to meet your flesh once more; to take you back to who you once were.

Astarion had said something once. He had stayed, observing silently, as if you were going to open the curtains and kiss the sun, leaving to another limbo. You knew it wasn't because he was scared, but everytime you came here, he appeared. Standing near the door where the darkness was, as if he were hiding from the rays of sunlight. He had yearned for them, once. Perhaps its familiarity had bored him.

But then, that company left, and the sun stayed.

“I don't know what's inside that head of yours, darling.”

He could know, but he chose not to.

Quietly watching as you hug your legs, your gaze peeking behind your knees. A ray almost looking magical, sacred. A plea to be touched.

Come back to me, child of the sun.

Child of the sun… you were, once. Someone had called you that, once. Who? You wondered—always did.

Sometimes you caught yourself forgetting memories; where once there were faces with prideful smiles, now rest the images of curtains, and that face, almost proudly, looking back at you with a high face.

Then, you hear it: a melody. Maybe inside your head, but it has been a long time since satisfying music passed through your ears. Closing your eyes, your head moves slightly with the rhythm. This palace had always been silent.

You stood up. Your legs moved by themselves—a curious thing, feeling as if something controlled you. Your hands dance delicately. This time, is enjoyable.

Someone taught you how to dance, once. A warm hand guided your clumsy steps to a magnificent piece. Warm compliments to keep you going. You had fun—you remembered that.

You danced, once. With who?

“You are dancing.”

You stopped, paying full attention to him. The room seemed darker.

“I was.”

Astarion just stared. Observing was one of his favorite pastimes all this eternity. Arms behind him, trying to interpret your curious actions. But then, he holds his hand for you to take.

“Dance with me.” This time it doesn't feel like a command—a request, perhaps. Either way, it required your obedience.

You accepted it, and in an instant, he had a grip on you—his left arm around your waist, his right hand taking your hand higher. A close proximity you expected. This Astarion loved touch—to be close. Weirdly, this grip was soft.

And then, he moved. You are confused by the dance—what was his intention? Slower? Faster? Your clumsiness appeared once more by almost falling, but the vampire’s hands kept you in place. The soft chuckle from Astarion fills your ears, and you feel something you hadn't felt lately—embarrassment.

When was the last time you felt anything, anyway?

“Why the rush, my dear? We just began.” He guided you. Back perfectly still, shoulders impeccably aligned, head high, with eyes staring back at you with a gentleness you didn't recognize. His true intentions were unknown to you. When those scarlet eyes held such tenderness just for you in this present, you didn't know if they were real, or if the meaning behind them was something completely different.

Either way, this mystery game tired you and holds no meaning anymore. Resting your head on his chest, the melody that once was, dissolved, leaving you in a cold silence. The curtains blocked the sun, and the rays of light weren’t as strong as before. Were they afraid, of the dark in the room?

“I was a child of the sun, once.” You muttered more to yourself than to him.

“You were, once.” A different grip—tighter, afraid to let go; or, maybe, caging you to not break the connection. But was it a connection when one line was severed? When the other side was unresponsive?

There was no answer when his response was final. A tone that you use with a child when they should not question further. You are happy without divulging. Ignorance is a bliss. Stay with me. Why do you even think of leaving?

“This is what you wanted—to stay with me.” He reassured, whispering over your ear as he pressed your bodies together.

“Of course I did.” An instant answer. To you, it is a justification for your predicament. To him, it is a decision you made for love. A meaning that both sides had something in common: to stay beside each other for eternity, even if the concept of love was morphed according to whom the person is.

Then, he stopped, and so did you. Opening your eyes, you looked at him, only to see unusual fragility in that crimson. The dance already forgotten; his hand moved to grip your jaw, leaving a gentle kiss. Your eyes flickered to the hidden windows—slightly opened, letting the curtains dance, too.

Strange tenderness. There’s nothing.

He broke the one-sided connection. Crimson eyes wandered your face. “Your meal is soon. I advise you to get ready, my love.” He doesn't leave. He needs an answer.

“Of course.” The response satisfied him, as he freed your jaw from his grip. He takes backwards steps with his arms on his back, observing again. You took the chance to study him, too—exactly the same as you can remember. Curled soft hair, as white as snow; stance looking proudly, But that face…

“I’ll wait for you.”

“Yes.”

Unfortunately, such embrace almost meant nothing. A chore, perhaps; or maybe, a burden only a puppet can keep on doing. The cruelty of it all left hollowness, and even the memories had left you.

The rays of light seemed to exist again once his presence was gone. There's warmth once the sun remembers you, calling what was before your name. To come back to them.

You had a name, back then. Your friends called your name, once. They didn’t erase it. They didn’t call you things you weren't.

The memories belong to the curtains. What you once were, belongs to them now.

You had a reflection. You had warmth. You had mortality. You had the sun. You had him. You had—

You opened the curtain.

The window had no reflection for you.

But it had such a loving embrace you didn’t have in many years.

You came back to me, child of the sun.