Latest Posts by nicoledavisss - Page 2

Late night thoughts 4/20

I’m laying in bed, and I’m thinking of you. For some reason tonight, your face is burned into my mind and all the memories we shared are playing over and over. I miss you, like crazy and I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness. I’m so alone without you. I may seem happy, but the smile I paste on my lips isn’t real. It’s as fake as a hookers tits. I know, I’m thousands of miles away from you, but even distance can’t make my heart forget you. The distance can’t take the picture of your smile out of my mind, nor can it dislodge your voice from my ears. All I can hear is you calling me baby, and telling me that you love me. Why must you do this to me? Why must your face be burned into my mind? I’m not happy that you’re moving to NC… I moved away from NY to get away from you, to try and pick up all the little pieces you shattered my heart into. And you’re making it hard, even not talking to you, it doesn’t make me love you any less. I’ll love you until the day that I die. I hope that someday soon I can finally paste a real smile on my face and be genuinely happy. But until that day, I guess I’ll just be alone and depressed. I love you to the moon and back, darling. Goodnight…

I am so relieved that you are out of the hospital and the recovery is going well! Take all the time you need to heal up handsome, you deserve it <3 markiplier

I love him <3

December 22, 2014

I need you more then you could believe. I haven't had a panic attack in months and in the midst of writing this, I am having one. And it is worse then it's ever been. You were the only person who knew how to help me calm down from them, and you won't even talk to me because of your new girlfriend. I still don't get the dilemma. You told me that there was no way that you'd come back to me, then why not talk to me... unless there is a way you'd come back and you're purposely avoiding me? Are you avoiding me and not speaking to me because you will miss me? Maybe that's a good thing. Can't you see how happy you were when we were together? Apparently not because you're too shoved up your new girlfriend's ass to realize it. Watch when I'm all set on my own and in the Navy and you're still stuck in the same rut you always used to complain about, you'll think to yourself "wow, I was happy and she did get her life together like I wanted. Maybe, we were meant to be together." You know when that time comes, I may not be around anymore. I may be stationed somewhere far away and you'll have to sit and think about how stupid your choice was. See, it's not about how happy you make the person, or the amount of money you spend on someone. It's the love you share with that person. I know that deep down, you still love me, and maybe that's the reason you keep avoiding me like you are. There will come a day when you stumble across the love letter I wrote you and I'm sure you will either cry or get upset. And, that's your fault for walking out on me when I needed you the most. Because I was your first girlfriend and you wanted to experience what it was like to be with someone else, well you got your wish, You're with someone else, and you may seem happy for now, but I know you better then she does, and I always will. I know that a few months from now if things still haven't changed, you're gonna get tired of her and wonder what you've been doing that whole time. Wondering why you're still stuck in that same rut you despise so much. Come to grips with reality, would you? You're unhappy with your current situation, change it. You know you were meant to be with the person that made you the happiest. And I know that was me, for a long time there, I was always the one you thought about and smiled. You were right about one thing though, it wasn't fair to me that you thought about someone else almost the whole time we were together, and after we broke up and you finally had your chance to be with her, she didn't even commit herself to you and she dropped you like a bag of rocks, and you didn't see that she was using you. And I'm sure to this day, you still don't. God, I wish you would have seen how blind you were...And when I tried to help you and warn you that she didn't want you, you got mad at me. And when she finally did drop you, you blamed it all on me. You didn't care that she was oogling over another guy when she was talking to you, because you were so blinded. You tell me that you'll never forgive me for what I did, The only thing I did, was tell her that I didn't want you two talking anymore because she was my friend, and if she was a good friend, she wouldn't go after a friend's ex. I'm sorry, but that just isn't right, And you two never stopped talking despite what I said. But you never wanted to see the whole truth.. you never wanted to see that you were only a pawn in her little game. Love is blind, I can tell you that. But when you have hard evidence being shown to you, you can't really disbelieve it, can you? Despite all the stupid shit that happened, it happens. Move on, realize that you actually had someone who wanted to spend the rest of their life with you, and now every time I meet someone new, or go out on dates, all I can talk about or think about is you. You're always on my brain, and you'll always have a place in my heart. Even after all the nasty and vulgar things you said to me, I still love you. Shouldn't that tell you something? When you're alone one day and you're wondering why, remember you had someone who loved you, more then life itself. I will always love you till the day that I die, and you know that. writing this has helped my panic attack subside, thankfully because it was one of the worst ones I've had. I should try and get some sleep before my panic attack decides to resurface. I love you to the moon and back... goodnight.

"You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first" Bullshit. I have never loved myself. But you Oh god, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.

My thoughts before I go to sleep. (via swxrn-in)

wow this hit home.

(via w0nd3rstruck18)

distance

Unfortunately I’m the type of person that you can screw over 1 million times and I would still be there for you if you needed me.

(via awkwarddly)

I tried everything. I smoked, drank, drove 100 on the freeway. Anything to make my heart feel the way it did when it beat next to yours.

(via yourlifeisyourmessage)

After all we’ve been through, you made it look so easy to just walk away from me.

Fuck, this hurts. // R.R. (via missinyouiskillingme)

You just can’t make me different and then leave.

Looking for Alaska, John Green sognatricesenzali (via sognatricesenzali)

You’re everywhere 

I don’t feel strong anymore I feel like falling to my knees. Things aren’t the way they were before, They’re not the way they’re supposed to be.

Atarah L. Poling (via observando)

Yes, everyday..

Fuck man I’m actually losing my mind and people only say they’ve noticed after I post about it. I literally can’t handle anything anymore. I can’t handle life. I either feel nothing or I feel it to the slightest degree possible, and that’s frightening. I can’t feel anymore. I can’t think anymore, when I do I just end up hating myself. I can’t focus anymore. I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore.

Please tell me.

I don't

wanna lose my bestfriend. I feel like we're drifting apart and I don't like it at all. Please don't leave me alone like this. I want it all to go back to how it was before. When we talked on the phone at night and we talked for hours about nothing. What I would give for all of that back. I hate this feeling so much. I wish I could could have it all back.

& Tonight;

All I can think about is you. I miss you terribly. I wish I got to see you tonight. It would have put my mind at ease. God, why can't I be happy like I was when we were together? You're my rock, my world, my everything. I don't know where I'd be without you. I want you to know that you mean the world to me, never forget that. I feel like I'm in a dream and I'll wake up any minute and you'll be right by my side telling me that you love me and everything is okay. As for now, I guess I'm forced to live in this hell of emotionless heartbreak. Please, wake me up soon, I don't wanna live in this hell anymore. I want you to know that if I ever decide to leave this world, I hope you'll be right there by my side telling me that everything is going to get better. I hope you can save me like you've done before. As for now, I shall try to sleep. Goodnight my sweet prince. I love you so much. I hope you come back. I don't know how much longer I can live like this.

I miss you

I just want this to be some awful nightmare and I'll wake up in your arms to your smiling face telling me that it was all just a bad dream and that everything is okay. I miss you so much, it hurts. It feels like we're drifting apart sometimes and it's slowly killing me. And what kills me worse is that someone else gets to hold my whole world. What I would give to make you mine again. You tell me to move on, but I guess you just don't understand the way I feel. I just can't get you off my mind no matter how angry you get with me and no matter what mean things you say. Please come back. I miss you dearly.

I couldn't have asked for a better friend.

Even after all we've been through, you're still right here by my side. Being my light that guides me in the right direction. I'm so thankful for everything that you've done and still continues to do for me. I couldn't thank you enough for all of it. I talked to you about this already, and it's all true. If I never met you, I may not still be alive anymore. You've saved my life. You've been there to hold me above the water and make sure that I don't drown. You are truly the best part of my life. You've made my life better in so many ways. Thank you so much for saving me. I love you.

Sometimes

I just wish things would go back to the way they used to be with us. I wanna be your baby girl again. I miss you saying that to me so much. I miss hearing you telling me that you loved me and kissing me on the forehead. I miss holding your hand and kissing you in public and letting people know that you were mine and I was yours. If I could go back and relive it all, I would relive it for the rest of eternity. You are my entire world and I'm so glad that you're still in my life and that you're still there for me even after all we've been through. You're my rock and I hope that never changes. I pray that one day things change between us and you learn to love me all over again. But only time will tell what's gonna happen.

Dream come true

This is like a dream come true. Here I am sitting next to you and you have a new girlfriend. And she has no idea that I'm staying the night with you. I know there's still something there for me and this proves it right here. This and the fact that since you started dating her, we've talked so much more. I still see that little sparkle on your eye when you look at me and you can't tell me that it's because of her. You just started dating. I get the feeling that you're missing me in that way. And I feel this way because I don't think you'd have me stay the night with you if you didn't. No one would do that if they had a girlfriend. No one. I just want you to admit it to me is all. That's all I ask for. Tell me that you miss me and that you still love me because I see it. I know you told me that you wanted to experience what it's like to be with someone else and you are but I feel like it's making you miss me. Just admit it already.