venting-intothevoid

Latest Posts by venting-intothevoid

How many times I’ve said I love you this week: 5

How many times he has: …

“He didn’t pass as a boy, and he made for a terribly ugly girl.”

fuck.

“You’re such a twink!” no sorry I’m literally just a trans man who doesn’t pass

Me: “okay the day is finally over and I can finally go to sleep”

My brain: “hey what if they drop nukes”

BAHHAHAHAHHA- HELP 😭

Loneliness…stifled by the internet….but ever present.

ugh

Loneliness…stifled by the internet….but ever present.

Question

What state do you live in i need to save you from that retched family of yours

-> @spilling-my-guts-to-you-guyss

I’m not 100% comfy sharing I’m sorry 😅😅

Sorry for mental breakdown posting chat

I’m normal again ☺️

"You are so mature for your age." Well, at least one of us had to act mature in this shithole excuse of a family.

im gonna fucking do it soon I swear to fucking god

shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up

being bullied and called ugly your whole life and being the filler friend who never got invited to anything results in becoming attached to any guy who gives you attention.

Are you parenting me or am I parenting you fucking pick one you piece of shit

Can’t wait to go out with my grandma tonight knowing she’s gonna fucking destroy every bit of my self worth

i fucking hate it here

*upset after an argument*

“Cmon what are you doing to yourself?”

SHUT THE FUCK UO SHIT THE FUCK UP WHIT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FULC HO SHE NDJAJSJDNDD FUCK YOU FUCK HOU FUCK YKU UMFJCK YKU

I don’t have an ounce of fucking privacy do I Jesus Christ

This house is fucking miserable

having a hard time caring about anything, feels inevitable that i will kill myself

Is it bad that I don’t even give a shit about politics anymore

Like ok cool a new bad thing happened who’s surprised nobody great let’s move on

Nothing I can fucking do about it

I’m fucking exhausted

nobody:

me: *likes a post*

my ocd: was that post you liked actually good? what if that person is secretly bad and people find out and then you're a bad person by association because you liked their post? what if this post has secret dogwhistles that you don't know about? and by liking it that means you agree with it! reread it 30 times until all the words don't even seem like words anymore and the meaning is mush! what? you can't tell if it is a bad™ post? see, you actually are a bad person because a good person would be able to tell. you are going to hell now! you need to think at least 5 'good' things so you can counteract your eternal damnation!!! now now now now NOW NOW NOW!!!!

This is the handwash station.

Your hands are now clean of any reblog bait you didn't engage with, any compulsions you didn't obey, or any other intrusive thoughts or mental spiraling.

This though!!!

Look, this is what moral OCD is like for me:

I walk past a piece of paper. I don’t pick it up because I had a long day at work and it’s very cold outside. This then becomes my internal monologue:

I didn’t pick up that piece of paper, I should have. Don’t I care about the environment? It’s not my trash, I shouldn’t have to pick it up. But also that’s how these things happen right? We place the blame on others as our environment degrades. It was just a piece of paper, it’s not like it can do that much damage. But also how do I know: I’m not an environmental expert. Maybe stray paper scraps are killing the frogs. You’re literally killing the frogs. You should look up how many frogs die a year so you know how shitty you are-No stop it.

I care about the environment, and I recycle and I joined green activism movements but is that enough? I could be doing more. I should be doing more. I should donate my entire check to charity. But isn’t it self serving to think that my one check could help that much? Do I really think I’m that important, how self entitled and-no stop it, reset! You are obsessing and if you fall for it, you will not eat dinner. Let it go.

Okay it’s just a piece of paper. It’s okay you skipped it this once: it could have had something dangerous on it. Yeah that makes sense. But also, that means I’m putting my own safety over trying to help the environment, which is very selfish of me. I’m just one shitty person: god how could I be so self absorbed. I should have picked up the piece of paper. I’m so selfish, and shitty and-no, no, stop it! This is not helpful. It’s fine.

It’s been a long day and I’m cold, that’s not a crime- no that’s being selfish again, you’re making excuses. You’re just a lazy piece of shit who doesn’t care about others, and selfish and God the fact you’re thinking this much about one piece of paper shows how selfish you are, you care more about if you’re a good person than anything else, you’re a piece of shit, you’re a piece of shit, YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT.

I get home and open up Tumblr. The first post I see says “if you don’t reblog this post about the environment you’re as complicit as an oil billionaire.” I close my computer and resign myself to looking up the state frog populations until I go to bed.

I don’t eat dinner.

The amount of frogs that die a year is somewhere from 200 million to over 1 billion.

Dream piercing 🥰🥰

You know what absolutely boggles my mind? That healthy people exist. Genuinely healthy people. No mental illness, no physical illness, no chronic illness. Just healthy. What a life that must be. 

Sorry for having symptoms of a mental illness I literally told you I have it will happen again

Ya and then my mom yells at me for it

have we tried sitting completely still in a dark room, my liege?