Ana Log - Blog Posts

Ngl an ana coach would be nice.

I started a whole new routine and it's so much better than it was.

As much as I don't like working out and sweating I decided to put effort in.

An hour and a half on the treadmill is not that much.

I don't like vanilla cherry diet coke but I feel like I need it, because it would probably prevent me from eating.

I was "fasting" all day but ate at night when I came home so it feels like I cheated. 12 hours basically out of the window.

I don't understand why I can't stop myself. Not too long ago was so easy.

So new years! Yippee! Things are gonna get better and I will be skinnier.

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ DISCORD SERVER

I made a discord server for 18+ @n@/m1a/3d peeps who like anime and games!

There are lots of stuffs there already lmao. Gaming channel, anime channel, vent and a bunch of 3d related ones like th1nspø, m3alspø, tips and shared mesdia! You can reccomend your favourite music, movie that triggers you.

There is not a lot of people on it, and it's still under "construction", so suggestions are welcome!

Link:

https://disboard.org/server/1174491466287030303

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ NOVEMBER 1-2

The last week was shitty in terms of starving myself. I plateaued at 73 and I haven't been gaining which is nice, but I haven't been losing either.

Because of the holidays, birthdays and other events I couldn't avoid eating normal amounts but sadly I have been craving things I haven't craved in a long time and it's making me crazy.

For example I really don't like white bread, yet I broke my 72 hour fast after the 27th hour because I had this instant need for it. I looked at the slice, conteplated only a little and bit into it. It was such a big slice too. I knew I can't eat it, that I shouldn't eat it, yet I still did.

Fucking other weight losing tactics haven't worked on me before only starving myself did. Only restricting my calorie intake to 800-400-200 did. What am I supposed to do? Stop because I failed even at something so simple like not fucking stuffing my mouth?

I even ate KFC like a pig. Ate the grander and the twist thing then drank the pumpkin spice shake. I knew I shouldn't but I couldn't stop. The craving and the hunger for it was too much.

God I wanna cry. I wanna tear everything out. They were so good, but for how long? Until I finished watching a moist critical video, which was 10 minutes long.

Why can't I wait? Why can't I control it? I hate it so much.

I hate food. I don't want it anymore.

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 26

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➀ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Monster energy zero - 14 cal

➀ Tortilla with with tuna, corn and light mayo - 211 cal

➀ Tortilla with tuna, corn, broccoli, cheese and tomato sauce - 386 cal

Water - 1.4l/2l

Full - 611 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 9482/10000 - 381 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 381 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 25

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➁ Green apple 309g - 180 cal

➀ Tortilla with with tuna and corn - 545 cal

Water - 1.6l/2l

Full - 725 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8698/10000 - 353 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 353 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 24 + WEEK SUMMARY

I was so absent gah daym. I binge watched trigun again then watched trigun stampede and grrr the brainrot was so real and strong (curse you knives for being so crazy and yet so appealing for my brain) and quite honestly I just didn't bother to write logs.

The whole week been really chill, mostly spent my time at home mainly because I got kinda ill...for a day lmao. After that I was just kinda tired all day so I stayed in bed, only woke up to do my nails, which took me 4 days btw because Im not a professional and I wanted it to be perfect.

So yes, I only logged my food down in the tracker and wasted away. Makes me kinda sad, kinda guilty but at the same time it is what it is.

AlsonI noticed that now it's not as hot and warm outside so my body doesn't "crave" water so I forget to drink and that's not good. It makes me hungry and bored so I often catch myself wandering in the kitchen, opening and closing the fridge door to see if my stomach wants anything other than meat, veggies and fruits. Not too big on eating carbohydrates and if I can I will avoid it even tho my body supposedly needs it. (I was a hypocrite today tho I craved rice and gave)

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea (lemon) 350ml - 0 cal

➁ Green apples 287g - 166 cal

➁ Eggs 106g - 152 cal

➁ Bowl of Basmati rice with tuna, corn and broccoli - 700 cal

Water - 1.6l/2l

Full - 1018 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 10217/10000 - 410 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 420 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 17

Waking up early is never a pleasant thing, since family is home and they remind me to pack food. Fortunately my mom gives a lift to my brother who starts really early, so she wasn't be able to force me to bring food and my sister and father doesn't really care.

It was so cold today I could see my breath in the air. My dumbass also forgot to pack handcream into my bag because my hands dry out because of the chilly air, so much that it's starts to cut up or something. I could wear gloves sure, but it feels restricting.

Alsoo! I weighed myself in the morning and I was 73.5kg! When I was talking with my best friend I could see it on my face an neck how much thinner it is already so I am really happy.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea (lemon) 300ml - 0 cal

➂ Green apples - 291 cal

➁ Homemade margherita pizza - 204 cal

Water - 1.7l/2l

Full - 150 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8249/10000 - 330 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 330 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 16

Today was surprisingly really cold, but fortunately not as cold to have the winter coat out just yet.

Other than going to school and coming home, nothing really note worthy happened.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➁ Boiled eggs with hot sauce - 156 cal

➁ Green apples - 139 cal

➀ Tuna with hot sauce and light mayo 62g - 134 cal

Water - 1.4l/2l

Full - 429 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8973/10000 - 359 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 359 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 15

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Green apple - 78 cal

➀ Boiled egg - 72 cal

Water - 1.5l/2l

Full - 150 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 10391/10000 - 419 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 419 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 14

Mom asked me to accompany her to give my sister a lift to uni and while driving back we stopped to pick up a package and to buy some ribbons for my halloween costume. I decided to look for cute plates, mainly heart shaped ones and although I did find two types, one was too deep and big -also had blood on it so I had go scrub and sanitise my hands raw because I felt icky - and the other was too shallow for me. Unfortunately I didn't buy a cute plate but a basic small ceramic one.

I love how the trees are colorful, how chilly yet somehow warm it is in autumn. I could wear my current favourite sweater and pants that are now big on me a bit. Mom always tells me that I am getting really skinny and I love the attention I get from other people.

Oh! Also I am finally at my lowest weight in 5 years! Still high, but it is going down surely and I am addicted.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Basmati rice with tuna, broccoli and peas 200g - 466 cal

➀ Banana - 62 cal

Water - 1.4l/2l

Full - 528 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 6394/10000 - 259 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 259 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 13

I went to school today, but didn't have the best day, because I got angry at my classmate for some silly reason, so I feel like I need to apologise. Maybe it was the hunger in me, maybe I just didn't sleep well.

Also I took a walk on the treadmill again to get to 10k steps. Dunno if I mentioned or not but whenever I don't get to at least 6k steps I feel guilt and I feel like I don't put in the work I should.

Once again didn't exercise. I could blame it on the absence of a watch that would note the calories I burnt, but I would be lying. Well half lying. I may be just too lazy.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➁ Green apples 140g - 81 cal

➂ Eggs with light mayo 83g - 119 + 24 cal

Water - 1,2l/2l

Full - 224 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 10499/10000 - 422 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 422 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 12

I stayed home, just like yesterday and this pressure of not putting in enough steps for me to feel comfortable was getting too much so I decided go use the treadmill and walk on it for an hour and 50 minutes. It was so good honestly, in the confinement of my own home, comfortable and quiet while I can do whatever as I walk and I don't need to look out for people I would bump into or cars that could hit me.

Sadly as much as I promised myself to eat as little as possible when mom came home, saying she bought some cookies and sweets I caved. I may have mentioned this, I am not one to crave sweet things, especially if it's sticky, full of cream and sugar. Yeah, well to my misfortune everything she brought home was notjing of sort, so I indulged. Lavender cookies, snow crescents, small piece of bundt cake and gingerbread macaroons. I could look for a basic recipe but I doupt I could calculate the correct estimate of calories.

I try not to dwell, thoughts of simply not listing these down had ran through my mind but I would be only lying to my own self.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➀ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➁ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➀ Hell energy drink 250ml (lemon & ginger) - 118 cal

➁ Green apples 326g - 189 cal

➂ Eggs 130g - 186 cal

Water - 1,6l/2l

Full - 493 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 11781/10000 - 476 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 476 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 11

Broke my 60 hour fast with some tuna today. (To be honest I don't remember what exactly I wanted to note down, because I am writing this on the 13th so im sorry)

I really want to restrain myself from snacking on things while I cook and/or bake, because I ate so many seedless cherries, what wouldn't be a problem, but they were kept in a sugary water that preserves the cherries for longer and ugh. I don't even know how I should estimate that.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➀ Tuna with tomatoes - 157 cal

➅ Shrimp chips 13g - 45 cal

➀ Cinnamon roll - 199 cal

➃ Choco-coconut balls - 431 cal

Water - 1,7l/2l

Full - 832 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 6953/10000 - 281 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 281 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 10

I started my red days today and feel really poopie right now. Fortunately we have strong medicine for cramps at home so I will live. I fasted down the weight I put in during the weekend but now I have a feeling that it may or may not have been because of the approach of my period. It doesn't really matter.

Been craving garlic cream soup for a while now, but since its a cream soup I'm sure it's full of unnecessary calories that I don't need rn. Plus I would be too lazy to cook it so im better off fasting.

My sister asked me if I wanted to try her lavender green tea she bought and I was stupid enought to put some sugar substitute (0 cal) and a bit of lemon juice in it, even though I am used to drink plain tea.

Also I have been thinking that I should start working out but I really hate the feeling of sweat on my body, so I'm gonna look for something that is not too tiring for the mornings and not too time consuming.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➀ Lavender green tea 450ml - 0 cal

Water - 1,7l/2l

Full - 0 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 6953/10000 - 281 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 281 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 9

Been fasting all day, yippee! It was really cold today and had to wear a sweater and a jumper over it and both of them felt looser.

Tomorrow will be a bit warmer fortunately, but overall I am glad that autumn is finally showing up, even though it was kinda late this year.

I also went shopping with mom and I saw so so SO many nice knitted sweaters. I always like just trying clothes on or just looking at the colors, feeling the fabric, trying to find the best kind of material. I uses to buy XXL clothes to feel comfortable in, to feel that they are lose on my body. This time I bought an XL and it felt loose and comfortable, even though I only lost 5kg so far.

I also bought hairdye with my classmate and dyed my hair from a poopie blonde and greenish blue to a color that matches Hatchi's haircolor. My ends stayed a lilac color because the blue stained my hair pretty bad, but it's fine because I will dye my hair until it fades or comes out.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➀ Plain black coffee - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

Water - 1.2l/2l

Full - 0 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 11499/10000 - 462 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 462 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER'S FIRST WEEKEND/WEEK SUMMARY

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Unfortunately I did not finish my fast, nor did I held back on "binging". I went out with my friends and slept over at my best friend's house who kept feeding me because she doesn't want me to be hungry even tho I told her that I am not, then when her mother came home she made sure I ate again so yes.

I appreciate them, because they are so nice and caring, but how can I keep up my plans if they want to disrupt it along with my family.

Fortunately I am home and tomorrow is monday. I forgot to buy a pass for trams so I will be walking everywhere this month, whether I like it or not.

I'd like to get better, as in try not to beak fasts because I have a sudden urge to binge or because I crave something, or because of family. Sure there are instances when you simply just cannot refuse because it would be suspicious.

Anyhow, this week was kind of a failure, but it's fine. I try and that matters. I reached my first gw this week, even though the weekend made me gain 1.5kg back, so that was one success.

For the next upcoming week, I wanna loose at least what I gained back, then 2kg more. That is what seems realistic as for now.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 5.

As happy as I was in the morning, I broke my fast of 42 hours because of a bowl of pasta and few pieces of broccoli. Then later my mom informed me that we are having pizza for dinner, even tho I deliberately asked her not to tempt me and allow me to get weak when I say I crave a certain thing.

In the end it was fine, I restarted my fast an hour or two later and now I am fasting through friday and the majority of saturday.

I am still really weak when it comes to certain food and that's fine. I know that my willpower is not the best but it's getting better.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➀ Plain black coffee - 0 cal

➂ Slices of pizza - 612 cal

➀ Spagetti pasta and broccoli with thousand island dressing and hot sauce 225g - 272 cal + 108 cal

➀ Hell energy drink 250ml (ginger & lemon) - 47 cal

Water - 1,7l/2l

Full - 1042 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8335/10000 - 335 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 335 cal

I JUST REACHED MY FIRST GW!!!! AAAAA

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 4.

I am 24 hours (I am logging this the next day on the 5th, but once 10pm hit on the 4th it was the 24 hour mark) in my fast and so far I am feeling well! I cooked risotto for my family today and it was so tempring to eat but i needed to steel myself. Been craving garlic cream soup tho all week ao far and maybe next week I will make some.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee - 0 cal

➁ Pickwick green tea (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

Water - 2.3l/2l

Full - 0 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8284/10000 - 334 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 334 cal

I noticed yesterday that creame colored flare jeans were looser on me than last time and I am really happy.

Same with my mom fit kinda jeans and my fave pink sweater. It is exhilarating to notice these things.

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 3.

Fasting through the day didn't happen because I binged lmao. Not with some really tempting food but with fish and eggs because they are my safe food and I like them a lot LOT, so I just couldn't help myself. I also realized that I quite like carbonara too even though for long I just couldn't even eat it because of the "weird" (at least for me it was) taste. Kinda ashamed, but as long as I stay under 1200 cals in the end (with how much I burnt) I am content.

Today was a long ass day too and I am exhausted. I made a promise to myself that I am fasting through tomorrow and the day after, plus my best friend is coming home this weekend and I need to prepare to hang out and drink with her, so three day fast it is.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➃ Fish and eggs sandwiches - 576 cal

➀ Hell energy drink (lemon & ginger) - 117 cal

➀ Choccochino (200ml) - 117 cal

➂ Pickwick green tea (250ml) (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➀ Small bowl of carbonara (220g) - 437 cal

Water - 1.5l/2l

Full - 1247 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 7868/10000 - 316cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 316 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 2.

I ate only this morning and fasted the whole day. Tomorrow is another sucky one because I accompany mom to her work place then go to school so she will ask me to bring something and knowing myself I will eat it probably, but let's hope for the best!

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Apples (211g) - 110 cal

➀ Black coffee with ice - 0 cal

➀ Tuna-egg-mayo sandwich - 280** cal

➀ Pickwick green tea (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0cal

Water - 3l/2l

Full - 390** cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8510/10000 - 346 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 346 cal

*edit - math is not my strong suit and i added the tomorrow's sandwich's stats too...

**edit 2 - I forgot that I need to count in percentage when I multiply (my last math lesson was 2 years ago)

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 1.

Weekends with family is always much harder than just normal weekdays because my mom likes to keep tab if I ate or not and she ususally wants us to eat together, which is fine because it was an OMAD day anyways.

✧ ° ｡ ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Hell energy (ginger & lemon) - 117.5 ≈ 118 cal

➀ Sweet bun burger - approx. 524 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea (strawberry & lemon grass) - 0 cal

➀ Green apple (side to the burger) - 82 cal

Water - 2.4l/2l

Full - 842 cal

✧ ° ｡ ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 7190/10000 - 288 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 288 cal

Since September wasn't my month I decided that in october i would track all my intake and everything else here.

I did fail myself and today on top of that I ate like a pig because I was consume with this hunger. So many unnecessary calories, so many things I don't even like and yet I still ate it.

I could cry, but I'm no bitch. Sure I failed and I have these silly little downs and thoughts that just push me to eat, I know in the end it will be okay. I just need to be better and forgive myself when I slip.

Therefore, october will be my month.

My best friend told me the lowest I should go is 55kg. I am still planning on going until i reach 45kg.

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ edblr intro!

I support recovery! Please take care of yourselves!

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🤍 ɞ ｡° ✧

♡ Via/Anonyma

♡ 20 years old

♡ 5'4 - 165 cm

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🤍 ɞ ｡° ✧

₊˚⊹♡ hw: 187 lbs - 85 kg

₊˚⊹♡ 1st gw: 165 lbs - 75 kg - REACHED on OCT. 5

₊˚⊹♡ 2nd gw: 154 lbs - 70 kg - REACHED on DEC. 6

₊˚⊹♡ 3rd gw: 143 lbs - 65 kg

₊˚⊹♡ 4th gw: 132 lbs - 60 kg

₊˚⊹♡ 5th gw: 121 lbs - 55 kg

₊˚⊹♡ 6th gw: 110 lbs - 50 kg

₊˚⊹♡ ugw: 100 lbs - 45 kg

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🤍 ɞ ｡° ✧

I play games like resident evil, dmc, metal gear, but I also like watching anime and cartoons.

Looking for moots and friends to interact with! ₊ ⊹

Feel free to dm, rb and like if you are active!