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shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter fifteen

found

It was an unfortunate turn of events. Things didn’t mean nor were visualized to go like this, but hey, life was a box full of surprises— some pleasant, some bitter. Unluckily, [Name]’s future seemed bitter in every aspect, and that didn’t seem to change any time soon.

”Where the hell should I go...?” The lost boy spoke to himself, sitting on the grass. His foot hurt, his side hurt, his head hurt— walking was a small problem, but the pain was bearable. His jacket helped a lot to not receive any scratches nor cuts, but his face and hands said otherwise. Messy hair, blood pouring from his nose, bruises and nails bleeding... the poor boy was left a mess.

He didn’t know where to go exactly. Reiner was the one with the map, so he was the one calling the shots. [Name] had briefly seen the map, but he didn’t pay much attention to it.

Big mistake, you idiot.

”Well, at least I’m not dead,” he yawned, carefully rubbing his eye. He had stayed in total silence for many minutes to at least hear a voice, but the only sounds he heard were the birds signing and the squirrels talking to each other, “...I wonder what they are talking about...”

There was no voices he could follow— he was truly lost in the forest. A very, very dangerous situation to be in by yourself.

Well, it wasn't as if there was another way to lose that thing. Reiner could be slow, and getting a bite from it wasn't going to be pretty. [name] tried to imagine his friends were fine, since they ran another way, but his mind didn't help him but wonder about them.

Lying on the grass, the amnesiac stared at the sky with lazy eyes. His chest moved up and down slowly, feeling a bit dreamy. 

He remembered those times with Eren, as they both sleep on the woods along with Armin and Mikasa. It was pretty weird— a sleepover on the woods. The principal activity was hearing Armin read his books, but specially his book about the outside. His energetic yet soft tone of voice made them wonder about the impossible; about what wasn’t seen by anyone here. Not even the soldiers who fought for humanity’s freedom.

Talks about where they wanted to go, what they wanted to do. Tangled wishes made by wondering children, all thanks for an old book nobody know who created— an unknown author that disappeared from the planet, leaving a wish behind for someone to fulfill.

The amnesiac boy was sure his answer was out there, where normal people couldn’t touch. Where people inside the box could not wonder; where people who refused to explore more than what was allowed choose to ignore the reason of such taboo.

[Name] was decided to explore that world. 

But first, a nap didn’t sound that bad.

♛

You feel fear— someone is chasing you. Not just one person, but there's many sounds behind you. There's yelling; someone is barking orders. Multiple footsteps— soldiers.

In the dark streets lighten by lanterns, two people run down the street.

Your companion is terrified— why are you running? What's the danger? Why do you feel so scared? Where are you?

You were too slow. They caught up with the two of you. A shame. 

You are cornered just like an animal. Perhaps we always were.

”We have finally found you— a ███...” the one in command spoke with a tired grin, satisfaction running all around his body as he saw every inch of terror on your faces, “you all have been hiding like those ███, aren’t you? A shame most of you die because of that ███...”

”P—Please, let us go! We didn’t do anything!” You tried to plead, but you know it's all for nothing. They are savages, after all.

”That’s true,” the man looked as of he was thinking, “but you are all the same. You share that dirty blood— sorry, nothing personal. Just following the King’s orders, you know?” a harsh chuckle left his mouth, mockingly looking at the two victims.

”Why are you doing this to us?! Please, I beg you, leave us alone! We’ll do anything!”

The soldier's aim falters, his expression showing a frown. ”...Anything?” He softly asked, tilting his head as he looked down at the couple. The ones being chased nodded erratically, a look of desperation and relief plastered on their faces. “...Then run.”

”...What?”

”Run away from me. I’m giving you the chance,”

A soldier's confusion makes him speak out loud. ”Sir?”

”Did I allow you to talk, soldier?” He glared at the poor soldier who only shut his mouth in return. The sergeant looked again at the poor horrified pair, “you heard me. You can run for your lives, but don’t look back because I will kill you.”

The leader stares with an unknown look, but you don't hesitate. Already running with your partner while holding hands, you hope to get out of there— were they don't exist. Where you can live freely. Where there are no dreams shattered. Where there are no children fighting battles they don’t own.

The two of you almost make it out of there; your partner grips your hand. Hopelessly staring ahead, you almost smile.

Just before the pair sighed in relief, two shots echoed trough the silence of that night.

Footsteps approaching— the unmistakable sound of military boots stepping on the dirty ground.

The sergeant in charge stared at the two bodies laying on the floor uncomfortably. One pair of eyes remained closed, while the other widened as it looked at it's partner. They didn’t know what just happen— or perhaps they didn’t even realize. Maybe that was a gift.

An expression of complete disgust appeared on his face, utterly repulsed by such view, “such a waste of ammo,” looking behind, he immediately barked orders, “soldier ███ and soldier ███! Get these things and throw them away. You,” he pointed another soldier, “will clean this shit.”

With a last look, the captain whispered. ”You should have looked back, filthy ███.”

。。。。。。。。。。。。。

“This ███.. are you sure he can have it?”

”Do you have another child around? This kid is the only one left— Keno’s child fell into illness, and we all know she’s not going to make it.”

”But... he’s going to be so alone...”

”We have no choice. All of us are going to ███ eventually. Hopefully he can find his way back...” the man sighs, “if he’s lucky, he can find us. But... I don’t have much hope.”

”Oh, my poor child... please, find your way home...” someone kiss your temples with gentleness, “I will pray for your safety.”

”Praying will solve nothing. What good have that brought us?”

。。。。。。。。。。

In front of you is the sea.

You are not alone— there’s a woman besides you, but the ocean waves are the single thing you can hear until she speaks in a gentle tone. You know that voice, but you don't know who belongs to.

”You know, little boy, there are many things you will discover trough your life. You have to live it fully until you can— people like us can’t live longer than what we like to.”

”Why?” You hear yourself asking— a younger voice of a little boy.

”Because we are the ███ . Easy as that.”

”But mom wasn’t like them...”

”And perhaps you could live longer. Who knows? What we need to know is that you will walk forward until the end, with your head high and with no remorse. You are strong— make your future and travel trough these waves. The world is much more than a simple caged island full of fools.”

She gazes at the sea, a grim expression shown on her face. “But a peaceful future is not what we can get. That boy... it has been said he would only bring misfortune. The elders said your only goal is to ███ him,” she frowns, “that’s something I don’t want you to be. Why do we have to be in that position..?”

”███? I don’t get it...”

”Well, it’s not as if we aren’t named the cursed, after all...” she sighs, “you will understand soon enough. Our only goal as the ███ bloodline.”

The woman sits on the sand, signaling you to do so. Obeying, you can’t help yourself to grab the sand and play with it. You only hear a chuckle coming from the woman, amused by the show.

”Pay attention, okay?” She says in a firm tone, showing him a small brown book, ”this book is important— don’t lose it. Inside there is everything I told you about, and much more. Be careful with it and handle it with care... drec femm pa dra mycd desa E fuimt cyo ed.”

。。。。。。。。。。

“Goodnight, ███.”

-

”███ is going to attack someday— that’s all we know. Hopefully, the others ███ can do something before that.”

”You are speaking as if you have faith in this kid. That’s dangerous— you won’t even be there when he wakes up.”

”Oh, ███! Stop the negativity! I believe in my ███. He’s strong— if something even happens, he will find his way trough.”

-

”I didn’t mean to make things go this way. Forgive me.”

-

Fa ymm yna kuhhy tea! Zicd palyica fa luimth'd cdub y cehkma eteud! Dra Nispmehk... ed fyc ehhajedypma.

-

”That stupid kid! Why did he had to exist?! If only he didn’t, everything would have been better! Shit!”

”How can you say that, ███?! He’s the key to all of our freedom!”

”Cut that shit! Can’t you see?! The Elders even said that! The world is going to suffer the rage of a ███! Just because he has The ███! Fucking shit! Your kid is not even standing a chance against that— it’s just useless. All of this,”

”He’s going to do the right thing. I know him— he’s my boy.”

”What even is the right thing, ███? This world is going to see the true devil once for all… just because they couldn’t do their job properly. For a nation, ███ is truly useless.”

-

”You are the connection. You will do the right thing and free us. You are the future. ███ counts on you.”

-

”Kill him— you have to.”

-

”Why did you have to join the Survey Corps? You will get killed!”

-

”I love you, ███. Please forgive me.”

-

”Did you know the sea is soooo big?! Even bigger than these walls!!”

-

”I know you have to kill me. But even if I love you, I won’t let you.”

-

”The sea. We’ll go together.”

-

”–ced. With this letter I hope we can unite for a new and greater future. Sincerely, ███ lineage.”

-

"We are the ███'s shield, as they are his sword."

-

"They are chasing us! Son of a bitch! After the hell they put us through we are disposed like this?!"

"Making us forget...? But we swear to protect... why do we have to disappear? Why is that our fault?"

"There's nothing else to do, then. Let's get out of here."

-

”I told you I wasn’t crying!!!”

-

”We are just a creation born from ignorance. Born from hunger for more power and control. Why are we even fighting for them?”

-

”We’ll find each other. Even when 10 years go by, I will always think of you.”

-

"I heard your whistle. You saved me, again."

-

"I promise you I'll protect you!"

"With that loud voice? I don't think so."

-

"I... I can't. I love you."

-

”Goodnight, ███. I’ll see you later.”

♛

…

…Well, sometimes naps didn’t do the trick.

The unlucky boy slowly opened his eyes, feeling even more tired than before. He forgot his dreams were mentally draining— even when he didn't remember much about them. 

Frowning, [name] glares at the sky in irritation. He feels useless; unusable. Forgetting those feelings were closed inside his heart, whenever he was alone they surfaced to torment his thoughts. This wasn't what he wanted to feel. It wasn't nice, nor made him feel better. It was a never-ending misery he didn't want to take part of.

”...I’m thirsty,” sighing in defeat, [Name] sat down. He played with the grass, feeling sweaty. Taking off the jacket was an urgent need, but the stinging pain on his left arm stopped him. “...and full of pain,”

[Name] wasn’t good with directions, even less inside a forest with his aching body causing his mind to not work properly. But he believed his hearing would come in handy— if there was something at all around this forest. Unfortunately, he could already hear there was more raining coming.

Standing on his feet with an exasperated sigh, the lost boy began his exploration. Sucking up the pain and bruises, he only hoped to find someone or at least the way out. The sun was still up luckily, but it would soon hide because of the rain— the clouds were already grouping up. The fear of being alone with a monster roaming around already crawled on his mind. This was scary.

He felt useless. u̵̬͉͐̌̌̍̈́͆̓̌̐̀̆ś̵̳̯̯͕̯̟̦͖̬̠̪̦̲͔͇̔e̵̢̧͉͔͚̯͈̠͇͖͑̇̎l̷̪̣̘̘̪͇͔̥͎̩̆́̇̑̊̈́́̉͜e̴͖͗̍̽̿̕s̵͚̟̜̯̯͉̼̦͛͊̎͆̆͌̑̊͑̈̈́́͘͠s̵̨͎͎̜̗̉̐̇u̶̟̜̹͎̯͇͌̐̇̈́̐̎̿̌̕͜ŝ̶͓͍̠͖̞͍̰͚̩̜͆͐͑̈́̀e̶͖̹͎̦̭̦͕̰͎͚͍̓̇̈́̏͂͑̿͊̈͐̚͝ͅl̴̡̻̽e̴̛̪̙̙͓̽̈̏̅͝ͅs̶̞̲̣̘͐̊s̵͉̜̗͕͍̰̬̦̻̰͖̈́̎̐̽͆́̈́u̷̝̠̙̐̂͗̈́͌̒͘̚͜s̴̖̹̪̮͙̣̓̎͝͝ê̵̛̺̥̭̊̅͌͗̂͗̃͘͘͝l̶̫͇͎̍̍̊̑̃͊͛͘e̵̡̪̼̯̬̣̫̞̥̾̉̓͘ͅś̵͔̤̣̦̺̰̀̔̂̓̉̈̍͠͝ś̸̛̘̈̂̌̋̀̂͘͝ů̷̢̢̯͎͉̬̥̱͖̮̯͉̦̱̍̊̂͐̅̌͑̅̎̕̕͜͝͠s̶̢̢̙̲̰͍͇͎̙͓̲͈̑̃̆̽̑͆̔̄͐̈̎̌̚͜͠͠ȩ̴͇̤̼͍̯͈̤͉̬̣̿̈́̐l̵̢̡̛͓̜͈̦͈̭̎̍͂̂̉̑̏̕͘̕͠ͅȩ̵̢̖̳̠͓̼̠̮͚͍͔͇̰̋͆̃͆̏͐͜ṡ̷̛͔̺̑̓̋͘̚͝ṧ̵͓̪̮̱͕̭͖̲̺̈́̈́̽̾̐̚͘̚͠ͅu̵̧̢̻̔ͅs̸̫͈̘̺̺͖̫̭̜̭̟̖̿ę̵̞̱͚͚͈̱̟͖͔̣̻͋͌̽͛̓̈́̑̒ͅĺ̴͔̼̥̗̥͕̠̋̍̒͋̕͜e̶̡̟̝̪̰̥̤͖̪͚̼̤͐̃̍̒̆͒̋̑͘͝s̵̯̤̠̤̍̈̾͌̋͐̎͑̓͒̂̈́̀͠s̵̡̛̫͉̻̬̆́͐̏̄̾̈́̈͘͝͠ų̷̘͍͆̌͛͝͠s̵̡̡̻̟̺̙̹͓̲̦̦̰̮͇͒̈́̆̂̐̒̒̕̕͝͠͠ẻ̸͍̩̫̩͍̝͚̐̉̍̂̈́̉̓̃͋̀͊̀̈́͝l̶̢̛̥͈̤͓͖̤̩̤̞̟͌̈́̽͑̈́̆̏̓̑͐͊̓̕ͅę̷͔̬̭̮̾̋̔̅̋̋̄̀s̵̛̟͉̫͆̃̽̓̐͂͗̑̚s̷̹̱̞̳̫̖̲̓̓̒͒̒̆̐̇̋̚͜—

"Everything is going to be alright. I have always believed in you, so please be strong."

[name] didn't like loneliness. He loved his friends; their moments together is what made him, him. If not for the people around him— if not for Beatrice, he would have been a nobody. Someone who wasn't meant to exist-- a mere ghost with no purpose. But, even in his present, he sometimes felt like a ghost— as if he was someone faceless. Even if he remembered his name, he wasn't sure anymore about it— perhaps he confused his memories.

Perhaps they weren't his, anyway.

Perhaps he was nobody, really. 

w̶̰̦͈͍͚͉͛͋͌̌͒̑̽̀͛h̴̡̜͚̩̼̙̺͕̮̼͓̹̩͍̄͋̈́͗̀̅̅̾͐̇̾̄͘͝o̵̡̡̰̻̲̞̤͍̣̙͔͎͚̙͋͂͌̾͘ ̴̤̱̓̓̎̓̂̒̄͐͋̾̏̈́̀̔̕a̴̢̡̝̞̗̰̞̓̉̂̇̿̊͊́͛̏̑ͅŗ̶͔̟͚͇̾̽̈̉̀̓̽̓e̶̛̦̊͒ ̷͚̻̭̠̳̻͕̝̎̀̏͜͜ͅy̸̧̧̨̭̥̰̝̼̺̠̺̳͚̥̽͐̓̌͛o̵͇̯͋̊̓͆͝ų̷̳̫̣͓̦͖̳̣̣͈̻̬͚̂̇̈́̒̍̆̇͌̐̄̉̄̅̑̚?̴̡̙͇͔̪̬̟̖̘͍̭͐̾̔̀͐͗̑̑̾̋͌̂͘͝

"Its okay to feel fear. I have been scared many times!"

"Stupid kid. Be careful!"

As he wondered inside wonderland, the footsteps behind him weren't noticed at first. In fact, a deep haunting growl was the major factor that took his attention.

"Uh...?"

He looked behind him, connecting stares with a red intense eye. [Name] was sure the thing was looking for him all this time— he was a fool for believing otherwise.

I should have know better.

”̶̛̣̫͚̱͚̦̬̜̍̆̾̏͗̂͂̅̍̎͐͑Y̴̛̙͚͙̾̍̉̽ȅ̴̢̟̯̭̫͖̪͔̺̞̝̭͍̬́̓͐͂͊̈́̔͑̃ͅş̵͕̫̯̖͇̭̘͎̻̪̘̍̑̿͂̄̇̊̿̚͝,̴̡̝̠̭̈́̔̐̐͂̇̈̌͂̒͌́̋̀͝͝ ̶̧̡̩͇̞̲̙͍̰̞̤̩͕͍͇͆͂͌͋̉͋́̓͝͝y̸̨̨̼̬̦̣͈̠̜̣͙̣͙̜̞̾ô̸̰̞͎̞̝̠̣͙͕̲͇̗͓̗͑̌̎̔͘ͅu̶̘͓͙̺̻̹͌͋̂͌̀͝ͅ ̷̡̝̘̪̝̦̥̤̓́͋̽̑̀͆̈́̊̐̕͝s̶̢͖͓̗̤̻̖͇̟̗͇͙̀̍̑͌̓̅́͐h̸̤̬̳̱̩̀̀̊͛̉͗̐̓̈̉̋̈́͝͠o̸̞̔̆̾ṷ̷̧̪̙͍̱͎͎̩̘̺̪̏͜͜l̷̢̪͆̄ď̸̢͚͖͇̲̮̕’̵̨̢͕͉͔̩̥̜̰̜̠̞̝͍̺̒̓̆̆͠v̶̢̯̻̱͔͎̹̙̙̓͛͛̈̍̆̅̏̎̓̽͋͜ͅé̷̙̯͍͚̈́̈́͘.̵̢̹̭̺̳̘̖̫̬͆͐́̏̓̾”̶͕̳̀

“I’m so fucked.”

“̶͉͍̩̥̮̈́̅̏̽́͒͜͠I̴̢̓́’̶̛͚̫̲͚̈̀͛̆̽̿̃̔ͅm̶̨̙̮̘̺̩̹͎͖̪͛̽͒̍̓̔̌́̈́͘ ̵̢̨͚̮̰͖͈̾̄͆̕͜ǹ̵̨̛̝̺̩͚̀̈́̂̌͛͊̏o̶̮̯̺͕̠̍̃̒̐̂̓̃͆̒̌ͅt̷̨̛͚̤͔͍̻͕̑͗͌͊ ̵̼͓̦̄͝ͅh̵̨͒̎ẻ̵̢̨͍̙̼̪͎̱̝̇̈́͝l̵͚̘̀̿͑͋͗̊̚p̷̧̮̎̄͘i̸͖̭̤̩̦͉̐̍̽̋̿̿ṋ̵̯̩̣̺̰́̀̉̓̇̀̀̓̽g̴̞͔͎͍͇̎͌̄̍̈́̓̃͠ ̷͉͕̦̊͜h̸͇̼͇͛͊i̶͓̹̞̾̾̏̐͊̒͋̂͛m̶̯͈̘̣̰̖̌ ̶̩̈́͐̃̈́͌ť̶͉h̷̡̖̱̬̩̫͛̂͂̈́͜͝i̵͍̭̫̾̚s̶̢̱̼̱̭͉̆ ̴̤͉͑͐͗̈̉͊̎̚t̷͍̥̻̗̳̲͕̝̦̽̌͒̍͑͝ḭ̸̛͊̔͗̿̓̿̈́m̴͙͇̮͕̣̹̠̅̋̏̇͋̚e̵̖͙͖̊̐̄̃,̸̧͉̭̼͉̖̳̻̲̓̍͘ ̴̛͚̊͠ͅẘ̷̧̝̭̦̯̞̬̇̈͗͑͠ơ̸̼̯̮̻̣͓̫̖͊̈́̃̏̕m̴̢̘̠̞̘̀a̸̢̟̝̝̰͔͇̞̹̓̅͜ñ̸͕͓͔͚̮ͅ.̴̙͈̬̰͚̗͈̺̇̋͜͜”̷̦̯͍͎̪̙̀̾͊

”̶͇̟̦̐̋̓̆̏͑Y̷̨̩̘̹͋ǫ̶̛̘̻̟͙͈̿͛́͒͋̈́̓̍̈́ǔ̸̮͖̱̖ ̷̭̦͙͚̥̘̎̾͒́͂͂̆̕͜ͅc̵̞̤̓̃̿͠ä̴͕́̑͆̓̾̿͗̕ṅ̵̘̪͙̍̍̌̏̉̉ ̷̯̮̖̥̮̣̲̰̆͒͜b̴̨̈ẽ̸̥͚̲̝̈́̄̐̌͑̊̌ ̵̞̄͗̐͒̕s̵̢̤̼̼̮̟̘̐̆̿̾̓̌ͅo̴͓͂͋ ̴̛̝̰̮͍̖̃̂̽͗̈́͌̇́͜ͅc̴̢̱̞̘̔͐͒͆͑̆̿͐̏r̸̛̫̗͇͈̺͇͎̩̗͒̀͘u̴̬̽͗͝e̸̡̩̯͇̩̜̍̑ĺ̴̛̼̦͔͚̲̗̱̣̥̌̇̋͋͘͝ ̷̨͚͎̾̅̓͘w̴͔͂͊̋̆̍̈́̇̅̐h̴̞̲̖̰̝͈̄͆̊̃̓͜͜͝e̴͍͓͓̞͑n̵̞͑ ̷̧͖͌͐̆̀̍́̓͂̂̾ͅy̵̼̥̜̓͒͐̀͊̚̚ơ̶̘͖͕͈̗̠̪͖̰͒̈̐̓͂̀͋̚͝u̵̧͎̪̳̯̖̟̭̪̓̈́̋̋ ̶̡͍̝̜͖͕̲͉̜͈͐w̸̱̱̹͋̉̉̋̆͛̌̏̑ą̶̧̗̜̱̼͇̮̳͍̏͠n̸͕̰̬̊̽ͅͅt̷̼̮̬̙͈̃̂̽͋̈́̔̄͐̚,̴̗̻̏ ̸͎̹͒̿̚̚█̵̢̝̱̣̝̜̣̰̟̈̓͜█̵̧̢̧̤͍̘̞̜̀̽̾́̉̍͆͘͠█̸̤̓.̴͙͈̠̹̼͓̽̀̓̃̀͐́͌͜͠ͅ”̶̮̻̹͕̮̮̈́͌̒

“̵̥̔̋͂͂̈͌̃̕̕̚͜Ḣ̸̦̣͆͗̽͠e̶͓̥̼̖̦̻̙̭̎̈͑͒̈́͝’̴͍͇̈́̋̍̓̾̌̒̕͘s̴̞͓̘̭̝̱̑̍̕͜ ̴̦̲̥̜͍̏́̈́̽̿͜ġ̷͔͕̭̦̩͙̮͎̫͌ͅo̷̬͕̼̾͒̾̇̍͆͌͊̇ͅi̷̛̛̹̔͐̏͗͆̽͛n̸̤̙̟͛̐̐͊̏g̵̣͈̳̩̹͒̉̂͊̕͝ ̸̧͕̖͔̬̊͗̀̽͋ṭ̴̛̛͕̮̮̳̗͊̈́͐̃̂̏̉o̶̻̫̐͒͋̀͂͒̏͌̇ ̶̝̥̭̗̫͙̓̈͝b̴̳͔̔̄̐̉̅̈́̕ë̴̡̥̰͓́̄͠ ̸̢͆̈́d̴͕͖͙͕͎̘̻̥͖̃͆̏ͅe̴̯̦̥̎͝a̷͈̗̠̩͙͕̿ͅl̶͖̤̦̣͔̥̖̖̻̍̑̃̆̐̚i̶̡̝̥̪̼̥̟̣͋n̶̘͉͓̻̥͋͑͗͋ģ̷̘̙͙̰̺̫̪͔̒͐́͌̾̆̑̀̈̚ͅ ̶̬̙͈̱̝̤̥͉͒̽̊́̎̀̅̕s̷̺̠̦̜̺͊̒̏͛̔̾͊̾̈́͝o̷̻̼͓͇̓̀̀͗̾͊̚͝m̷̡̦̟̬̭͕͚͒́̓͠ͅe̶̤͈̘̊̌͑̃͑͠t̶̢͖͉̤̩͓̻̒͐̎̋̉͜͝h̵̢͈̦͇̝̠̲̭̙̒̾͝i̵͓̜̖͓̔n̴̡̻͍̻͖̫̍̒̂͗ͅg̴̡̲͖̼̫̺͔̋̀͗́ͅ ̵̹͙͎̞̣̦̟̘͊͋̚̕b̵̡̨̬̰̦̆́̾̇̏̕͘͜i̵̛̲͚̋̅̔̀̋̆͘g̸̢̧̛̖̤̗̻͈̋́͗̒̇̅͋̎͝g̴̠̟̗͉̙̣̝̹͍̅̈́̀̄e̷̛̫̙͙̗͕͓̺̓̔͜r̸͈̮̤̻̫̠̋͗̍͗̕ ̶̬̓͋̽̽͋͊͗͠b̴̨̢̪̻̘̻̱̖̲̅́͛̊̂̏̾͜͝ý̸̰͓͇̇̋ ̵̞͋͘͝h̶̦̲̦͍̬̮͈͖̓͐̌͆̕ͅi̵̢̛͚͚̟̩̦̻̱̫̬̅̐̾̀̐͑̂̏m̴̨̤̙̘̮̃̽s̷̤̺͎͇͓̮̜̍̽̀ę̶͚̜͙̗̥̋͑̽̆̐̑̏ͅl̸̢̻͔͍̯͈̯̄́̐̋̅̓̓̇͘f̷̪͓̭̤̣̯͙̞͍̀̈́ ̷̨͙̺̗̜͓̫͆́̎͂͋̈́̅̑̚o̸̬̊̉͋́́̀͊̕̚͝n̴̛͓̜̒̏̎̔́̈́̕ͅe̷͉͚̭̐̔͌̈̐̅̃̒̉͘͜ ̸̢̘̹̭͊̓̑̈́̀͝d̶̙̼̺͔̲̜͚̣͂͗́̐̆͊͝a̶͉̭̪͑̄̃̍̅͂̇͆̓͝ẙ̸̱̍.̷̳͍̔̂ ̸̳͔̼͎̐͑͝Ũ̷̠̜̘͙͎͝ņ̵͉̻͇͖̜̝͔̺͗̅̊d̷͓̹̭̳̓͠e̶̡̘̯̤̫̔̋r̷̨̡͓̰̰͍̓̿́̌͜s̶̡̻̪͖̫̥̥͆̄́̐̅̌̈́͘͠͠ͅt̴̬̦̪̞̥̮͛͋͒̐͋͑̾̈͑͘a̶̞̫̞̤͒̈́͛n̶̠̹̜̠͉̰̳̻̝̑̓͋̄͌̉͝d̵̢̜̯̣̩̦̪̮̞̒̈́̽̂̿ͅ ̴̘̙͕̮̪̖͌̐̋̇̓͗̿̅̈́̍ḩ̴̢̲̤͂̅̐͜ͅi̵͉͕͈̘̋͆m̴̛̻̤̗̰̻̪̉̇̕͜͜.̸̤̙͉͕͕͎͖̭̦͆͐́͠”̴̯̀͊́̓̅̂́͝ͅ

”̷̧̝͇̘͖̲͔̙̭͗̃͊…̵̧̼͋̈́̉̆͋͠͠Ḻ̶̨̹̟̏e̸̡̡͉͉̝̻̼͎̅̑̇̒̈̋̂͐͌͘n̸͈̗̻͍͍̉̿̄́̾͂̑̏͠d̷̨̛̫̯̪͚̰̤̠͓͛̔ḯ̷̺n̷̛̲̼̄̋͗͗͠͝͠ĝ̶̨̊̀̉̈̑͛ ̷̦̞͕͉͈̋̈́͜͠a̴̭͗̽̾̉ ̸̖̪̠͉͕̜͉̍̋̒́͒̆h̶̛̖͓̅̃̍̄̊͗͝ä̶̢̬̜̼̤̜́̊̊͂ņ̴̡̡̨̼̤̮͚̻͊͛̀d̵̡͓̮̘̝̂͠ ̷̧͎̙̣̫̪̱̭̖͑̾̀̓̕͝ͅī̷̳͉̹̌̅̑͝ş̸̛͍̝̣͆͂̌ ̴͉̫̫͎̅͑̑̿̊̒͜n̷̞͑ơ̴̙̮͌̀̇͂͆̆̈́͝͝ť̶̘͖͇͉͉͌͆̀̿̍́̐̋̕ ̶̙͇̜̌̈́̊̐͊̈́́͗͝ẁ̵̨͙̭͈̯͙̲̳̖r̴͖͓̎̋̎̾̕͠͝͝ŏ̷̪̬͒͛̏̈́͂͂̏͆͘n̶̰͚͗̒̏g̶̡̫͈͔̮̮͚̫̘̗̎́̏̄̏͋̊̚.̸̡̱̭̘̪̳͔̻̔̾̆̔̇͒̈͊̕̚͜”̵̢̺̦̫͙̹̞̲̃͂͊̋̃͑́͋̐̕

”̵̧͚̩̙͎̹͓̺̻͇̍̉̓̆͐͝N̷̨̲̦̝̖̭̻͔͔͂́̏ͅę̷̘̦̻̙̟̱̊̌̆̅̓̾͐̓̔i̶̛̫̫̿͊̀͂̀̈́͛͐͝t̵̛̺͖̹̓̈́͋̅͛̽͒̚͝h̶͉͚̼̉̇̔͊̈́̈́̾̒͜͝ͅe̷̝͓̪̬͈̙̽̐͛r̷̡͖͉̝̯͉͚̺͗̀̊̑̌̈́̈̾́͆ ̴͔̝̲̰̟͍̭̭̤̓̎͊ĭ̷͖̱̬͇̪̓̈́̒̎ͅs̸͎̀̆͗̉̓̈́͝ ̸̫͊͊̍̊̾̂͘͘͝ḽ̷̨̢̨͕͔̯̘̥̰̎͂̓͌̽͘͠e̵̮̒t̸̻͈̝̯̤͇̻̣̉́̒͂̉t̷̹͆͜ͅḯ̷̧̱̘̼͔͚̝̆̈͝͠n̶̢̢̰͖͚̞̭̼̝̩̍ģ̷͎̤̰͔̜̹͗́͌͂͆̂̍ ̸̨͖̠̎̆͛̽̎̄̾̔h̴̨̛̠̙͎͎̱̤̬͉͂̓͑͐̍̒͑́͝į̵̨̧̭̲̥̙͚̰̀̉m̶͚̈͛̈́̾̽͂͐̔͘͘ ̷̢̮̰̹̳͙̤̺̑̊͂̅͌̚g̷̤̦̀͛̎͆͝r̵̦̃͒̽̍͘ǫ̴̢̤̤͉͕̦̲͕̎̔̈́̐̅́̌̒̋͋͜w̵̭̘̬̲̜̗̉̇̆͗̐͒ͅ ̷͙̂͒͌̈́̐̋͐͂͒̈́ų̸̲̊p̸̤̠̞̹̣̺̮͈̐͌̄̑͂̾̍̆̎.̶̯́̾͐͜͝”̶̦͎̗͉͖̌̏̑̾͆̀̌̕͠

Just as the beast sprinted [Name] did the same. He knew there was no way to go— the thing doesn’t seem to get tired easily, and [Name] was more than tired. There was no other choice but to fight— but he couldn’t see how. Running was the only way to gain some time for whatever he could do next. But his mind, filled with terror didn't let him think— he was scared. Scared of not see anyone of his beloved ones again; to not enjoy his usual life with the others. To not see Beatrice again— to not laugh, cry, dream.

He abruptly stop right into a tree and looked behind just to see the beast charging directly at him. [Name] tried to regulate his shaky breathing as his tensed body prepared to move at the exact moment he ordered— and just as the animal was inches to bite him, [Name] shut down his own pain and jerked away just in time for the beast to hit it’s head on the wood, a loud bump echoing the forest. The boy didn’t waste time and ran again, sparing a quick glance behind him to see the animal was grunting and didn’t intend to move.

”̸̭̆̉̄̽̀͜͠͝À̵̖̳̼̙̿̔̍̇̇͛ṱ̴̟̔̽̇͌̐͝ ̵̙̳͊͊̎̄̇̀͌ļ̴͖̥̥̈͆̉̀̈́͝͝ͅȩ̸͙͎͌͘ą̸̨͉̼̳̭͖̩͓̗͒̈́̾̔s̶̝͔̩̟̺̙͇͕͊̉̈͂̋̈́͘ͅt̶̡̯̦̪̫͒͗̆̀̐̓͗͘͠ ̷̩͙̃͋h̶͍̩̩̝̺́̎̓̓̆̈́͝ē̶̘̯͈͉̪͚͓̞̆͑̍͑̓̀́͒͂͜ ̶̖͕̬̤̬͆͌̽͂̀͑̋́̚h̵̢̗̤̩̜̲̼̞͚̎͐̀̚͝ͅã̴͖͚̻͎̰̇̂͊͐s̵̱̳̝̪͕̝̖̎̀͜ ̶̧̡̖͈̞̗̣̼͇̀̾̀͋̑̎̒s̸̛͎̫̮͉̺̖̺̣̀̂̔̏́o̴̧̼̝̭̘͓̭̤̤̊̈́̓̀̆̋̇̕̕̚ͅm̶̧̟̺̱͉̝͍̼̱̂̂̕ê̶̡̡͓̜̼ ̵̧̤͔̦̠̠͆̋͛̋̈́̔̈́͘͠b̵̢͈̫̯̫̀͒̚ȑ̶̠̇̈͑͐͑̓a̶̢̛̻͈͆̒́̎̽i̵͈̻̘͋̈̂̐̽͋͛́ņ̴̥̘̬̭̩̳̎̕s̵̛̲͈͌̓̅ ̶̨̨̛̹͈̟͖͈̯̜̩̈́͊̐̀̐́̋͆̕l̴̛̤̼̘̺̖̗̝̫̹̯̏́͒͌̕͝͠e̶̫͈̥̯̟̋͗́͗f̷͍̯͉͓̠͗̓̈́͌͂̃͝t̶̡̬͍͙͗.̸̟̈́̎͂̈̐̐̀”̸̛̛̜̬̟͕͔̦̪̫͛͒͋̒̈̿͜ͅ

”̸̗͙͇́̂̾̆̆D̵̩̘̍́̎̐͝o̶̯̤͙͉͍̦̪̩̤̥̎͋̓̿̔̑̕ņ̸̨̞̞́͆͑̄͗́̎͊͑̇͜’̸̣͔͍̪̇͆̌̈́̆̀͂̕t̶̳̅̀̈́́̓͂ ̴̜͍̘̏̀̈̓̀͋̎ḇ̷̟̣͍̪͂ĕ̸̟͓̦̩̆̚ ̷̩̈́͛̋͋͒̏͝r̶̞͕̤̂͑̀̽̋̈́͆͌̓̓ú̶͎͓̜͛̉̄͌͒͠ḋ̴̟̜̟͇̳̙̉̇ȩ̷͉̙̳̳͖̖͆̓̀͐̕͝͠!̸̨̛͚͕͚̋͑̋͊͌̔̓͌̄”̶̧̼̹̪̖̱̭͎̟̊͋̀͘͘͝

[Name] tried to get away as much as he could— hoping he could find a weapon to defend himself, yet his erratic state did not let him focus on anything. Whatever he was doing or planning was done when death was breathing on his neck. 

“̷̨̪̣̤̭̱͚̋̐̈́̏͗̕̕̕T̸̜̲̘̬̜̽͐h̵̜̯̯̩͍̄̈́̒͆͌̆͌ỉ̵̞̼̳̥̱̤̫͖̊̂̓͝ͅs̶̢͎͚̞͉͕̳̩̭̬̈́̌̄̆̅̒̋̄ ̸̜̆̈́̀̅̅̂̌͌̚k̷̺̱̪͌̀̇͛͝͝ị̴͇̬̦͗̾̂͂̅̾͑̈͝d̵͍̩͇̍́̿̓̆̉̈͘̕͝…̸̛̰͙̲̘̞̒̇͐̀͛͌ ̸̛̯̗̗͍̞͇̦̈́́͊̈́̉͛̊̇͜͜ą̵̨͆̊̑̄͗r̸͍̰̞̼̼̟̳̆̃̏̔̑̾̊͘͠ę̵̨͍̱̗̮̫͙̲̿̋̒n̵͕̗̯̻̦͓̒̌̉͒̍̎’̴͉̯̣̝̪̞̥͚̫̈́̀͛̈́̽͛̽̂̈t̴̡̩̟̹̼̱̉͒́͑̅́̕ ̷̡̩̣̕w̸͚̪͛̍̉̑͒̽́ͅe̷̛̪̳̬̲̳̱̬̒͒̀͗͆́̃͠͠ ̶̢̟̮̲̲̥͕̠̒̿̌t̷͓̓͛͛̔͝r̷̡͈̹̙͑͛̄̔̕a̷̢̗̼̫̼͇͛̈̐͌̐̉͐ͅỉ̶̧̺͈̭͍̣̦̳̙̘ņ̵̰̺̏͋̃̂͜i̴͙͊̎̈́n̷̢͔̭͍̥̗̮̊ͅg̴̢̤̮̽ ̴̢̠̼̯̈̐̍̈́͗̒̅̍̓̌ḩ̷̧̛̳͚̼͎̹̃̀̆͛̃̇i̵͔̱͎̊͒̃̽̈́̉̎͐̾̚m̵̛̩̲̘̻͗̊̈́̀͂̚̕͠ ̴̧̼̪̟̰͚͚̝̖̣͗̈́͒t̴̡̛̬̖͕͈͎̬̳̊̀͊̌͜ͅo̷̭̞̩͐̍͐̾̇̎̊̍͘͝ ̷̙̫̆͋́͋̽͂ọ̶͖͚͊v̴̨̰̝̦͈͓̣̜̈́̎̿̋͗͊̍̇̓̚ė̵̱̗̝̖̮̗̹̟̠͈̈̔͑͑̓r̵͉̦̘̼͉͎͇͔̒̇͑̓͑͘͘͘͝ĉ̸̢͇̀̀͛̿͝͝ò̷̧̬̖̖͕͕͉̜̞̲̈́̎̆m̷̧͔͓̩̫̰͇͕͇̀̈͜e̷̡̡̨̮̤̝̱̪̝̐́ ̷̨͓̮̯̼͔͂̂͐̐͆͘ͅṣ̸̛̜͚̰͍̻̣͆͒͋͛͊͆͜͠h̶͚͎̐ï̴̢̖͉̘̥̼͌̀̋̾̒̇͒t̷̳̜̝̰̦̍̏̈́͒͠͝ ̷̦̭̅̒̚l̴̛̘̜̇̇́̊̕ḯ̴̞̃͆̈́̑̈́͗͠k̷͈̮͔̮̗͚͙̤̺̈́̈͛̈́̓͒̍̓̌͠e̸̡̹̬̬͎͙͖̩̔̆̾͌́̒̔̏͛̚ ̸̙͉̆́̎̂̀̚t̴̮͗̎͒̋́̿̃͠͝ḥ̴̰͈̠͕̩́̉̋̽̽͌͂̐̾͜ͅi̵̡̖̇̅̃̃̀̓̚͝s̴̢̞̤͗?̴̨̊̒͗̏͒̈́̈́͛”̸̝͈̖͇̊

”̴͉̯̪͉̳̝̺̙́̂̐͛̒̌̓̆́̕ͅF̴̳̳͚̞̠͈̗̦͋̈̌͛̾͋̕o̷̙̙̘̮̠͚͎͔̊́͑̽̋̚͝͠͝r̷̫̝̭̱̹̮͒ ̸̫͈̝̙̈̈́t̴̨̛̖̯̩̠̥͆̇́̐̋͝ͅh̵͓͉͉͑̒i̵̟̓s̷̢̡͚̩̣̙͈̉͆̇̐̎͌̉͆̄ ̴̮̦́̑͋̿ȩ̸̬̱̩̳̖̯̼̬̜͊̿̈́͗x̶̛̞͕̜͕̠̺ͅa̸̢͓͖͔̯̰̪͍̫͒̀͐̀͛̿̃c̷̠̪̬̪̞̹̏̋̄̕t̶̢̲̜͍͈͚̟͇̎̐̅ ̴̡̨̠́́̐̃͆̃̏̾̉̓s̸̡̪͉̭͔̙̦͚̼̈̀̇̾͒i̸̜͇͈̳̻͆̂ͅţ̴̱̗̞̗̜̾̈́̽͌͘͘͝ụ̸̙̬̬̘̹̂̿͊̄͊͗̎͠͝ͅa̷̝̬̻̿̒͂͆͒̂̅̚̚͝t̵̛̘̓͗̽͌̿i̷͙̳̟̙̦̺̽͑͗̍͊̌͋ͅo̴̡̧̧̞̠͉̟̟̯̤͐̀̑̐̊n̴̤̫̟̤͚̑̊ͅ?̵̣̩̻͔̳̳̟̂̇͝ͅ ̸͎̖̲̟̜̫̍̿̇̂̒̐I̶̮̼̝̖̯̺͖̒͒̾̌́̋̌͑͜͝͠ ̵̼̔͌̍̈́͆̔́͒͠t̶̲̥͎̦̦͚̠͔͓̄̇̽̄̍̑̚̕͘͜h̶̡̩̥̩̭̹͌̒͋̊̓̔̕ì̵̼͔̜n̵͖̥͓̠̠͌k̶̨̼̗̹̈̉̇͑̌̅͛́̓ ̵̥̞̼̦̒̅͊̏̅͛̚w̵̘͈͇̼̘͈̲̟̎̑̾̆̕̚ę̶̣̘̾̔̏͝͝ ̶̣̩̣͓̕ḍ̷̫̬̦͇͆̅̿̈́͂̄̓̆̇i̴̧̛̔́d̶̨̛͈̬̆̓̈́̈́́̔̀̕̕n̷͉̯̥̤̲͗̂̓̋̈́͜'̶̛̝̥̞̖̞̦́̑͆̃͌͌͠ͅt̷̐̆͜͝.̶̛̼̮͍̋̆̉̿̎͑”̵̨̺̣̩̉͑̃̐̎̕͠

And just before he knew it those loud steps echoing the forest made his mind crazy again— hearing the thing coming from behind so quickly made him tremble. He was tired; his side hurt like hell and his foot felt as if it was going to snap right there. Yet the adrenaline was what made him unable to focus on anything but to live.

Yet, his inability to focus is what made him not notice a thick, curly tree root pecking out of the ground. Something so simple and harmless is what made him fell straight on his face, and to the hands of his executioner.

He tried to get up as quickly as he could, grabbing what he could desperately. Yet, the beast was already over him, drooling, growling and shaking in anger. With a thunderous cry, the thing jerked itself forward to bite, and before it could have gotten his neck or part of his face, [Name] raised his left arm to protect himself, allowing the creature to bite him there instead.

Sinking pointing teeth trough his flesh, touching what wasn't meant to be touched obliged [name] to let out a loud, shattering cry— the thing’s fangs had already scratched him on his stomach and legs, yet the only thing processing on [Name]’s mind was how his arm hurt that fucking much. He cried, he shouted, he whimpered, yet there was nothing else to do— was his arm going to be teared apart? What could he do to something this big? Tears flowed on his face dirtied with blood, his voice getting higher and higher.

”̴͇͗͌͐̅̀̏̈S̸͖͕̩̫̩͆̌͊̽̔͝t̷͕̜̟̮́̀̄ò̴̢͇͍̇̃̚p̴͇̗̭̂͐͐́́̓ ̵̡̛͇̮̮̓̓͝c̶̖͙̯̠̳͚͈̯̜̓̓͆r̵̢̞͚̜͖̞̐̿̍̿̅̊̀̓y̶͓̼͓̘̳̥̜͘͜͠į̶̢̡̜̩̫̹͚̜̰̓̊͛͌͝ņ̶̙͍̲̱͙̱̃̾̓͆̍͊̅g̴̢̙͖͓̜̏̔̓͛̌̈́͠!̴̻͖̳̟̓̍̀̽̍̽͗͝͠ ̵̺̞͈̗̮̱̺͇̗̅̀͐͆ͅF̷̛̖̜̳̻͔̃̈́̅́̆ͅi̴̥̺̠̯͔͔̻̤̮͓̚͠g̸̦̝̰̦̺͔̔̃̍͒͐̃͘h̸͇͋̒́̾̓̈ẗ̷̩͓̏͐͠!̸͔͓͓̔͗͜”̸̝͇̪̎̚͠

Yet, something clicked— his right hand. It had took something solid and sharp: a quick erratic look fell over his only hope: a rock that would have never been a weapon of choice, but there was no time to be picky. It had a sharp side, pointy enough to cause some harm against a person. But to a beast? No way— but he had to fight. There was no choice.

As the thing bite [Name]’s left arm with all it’s strength, the boy let out a harsh, loud cry as he gripped his hand on the shaped stone and with all his will, encrusted it on the beast’s head multiple times, letting out splashes of blood as he took it out and in. It went all over his face, and it was no longer possible to maintain his eyes open because of it— the beast tightened his grip on his arm, yet [Name] never loss his’ on it’s head. Disgusting sounds of something cracking filled his ears; the mix of pain and adrenaline stopped him to feel anything but anger. This time, he wasn't himself— he was just a vessel for rage at this moment. 

Ì̴̠̤̻̒̇̓̇ ̵̧̯̲͓͕̳̖̻̼̀́̐̈́̊̋͘w̸̢̮̘̞̺̹͑͆̈́͒̎ï̵̭͈͍̰̪̖̑̋͊̌̿͛ͅͅl̴̢̖̬̦̫͈̣̙̂̒͒̉͜͝ļ̸̛͉̭̝̠̳̖͚̔̂̉͝͝͝ͅ ̴̞̜̼͑͌͠͝l̸̡̡̩̮̝̭̳̫͂͊͊͊̌̉͌e̵̢̮̝̯͑̈̃͊̇̑̓̊͜͠n̵͍͗͑̔̕d̴̡̛͓̜̺̦̯̗́̎͊̐̒̒ ̶̧̨̛̝̬̫̻̲̏͜͝a̶̠̺̲̭̽̒́̌̏̋̋̒ͅ ̷̪̼̱̫̠̖̄̑̈͜͜ḧ̵̖̻̦̭̟̭́̋͜a̷̭̯̖̜̺̪̜͇̓̔͋̀̈́̍̕̚n̶̻̣͔̜͈̬̂̀̐͑̕ḏ̴̻̜̙̝͔͚̳̏́̄͠.̸̡̢͙̰̙̟̺̟͇͛̿͆̓̑́̈́͂͋̕

It was then, that something inside [Name] clicked. 

Deep inside he was scared, yet the will to see his friends again; to see Beatrice again, made him overcome that fear and replace it with rage.

He was going to fight— fight for himself, fight for his future. He wasn’t going to die all alone in this forest by the hands of a fucking ugly bear. That wasn’t his story— he promised himself he was going to see the outside; to seek the truth and find himself. He wasn’t going to die. He wasn’t going to let anything take his life away like this. He will see them again. 

H̶͍͛è̷͔ ̵̼́w̶͔̐ḭ̴͛l̸̺̎l̷͙̈́ ̸̩̂s̶̺͗e̴͘ͅe̵̮͋ ̸̗͛M̶̭̅e̴̫̔ï̴͉ḳ̸̐ȩ̴̔ ̸̱̚ä̴̦́ğ̴̯a̸̢̎ĩ̵̞n̸̺̓.̵̮͛

A thunder resonated inside his head, and with a last thrust, the stone went all the way inside it’s head as the sound of it’s broken skull and last gruff cry resonated under the rain. Even after [Name] believed it was dead already, his teeth never loose the grip on his arm. It was the boy’s job to carefully let them out, but that didn’t stop the awful, horrendous pain he felt once the adrenaline disappeared. However he could, he pushed the thing aside and laid there, looking at the cloudy twilight.

Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes. The rain touched his face, not washing completely the dirty scarlet on his flesh. Even if it was cold, the amnesiac boy couldn't help but feel sleepy.

A few minutes of resting didn’t sound that bad right now…

A̴͕̹̿͒̒̚f̵̟̩͆́̐̽̓͜ţ̵̢̹̝̯̓͠ȩ̵̡̥͔̹͓̅̀̑r̵̨̬̦͈̩͂̾̐ ̵̪̈͒̋̀̚ą̵̤͎̆̐̑̽̔͝l̶̛͕̜͂͐ľ̴̗͈͚͉̬̅́̃̎ ̶̣̹̄͒̀ǒ̴̳̻̬͉̥̥f̷̩̟͙͍͑͜ ̸͓̔͊̎̋̓ṯ̵͇̊͜h̷͎͌̾̌̚̕ǎ̸̡͇̤̌̆̚t̸̡̢̳̼̜̼̋̆̐͗͘͝ ̷̧͉̼̺̀̊ÿ̴̢̩̭̺̞́͊̏ō̶͉̪̌̎́u̷͚͆̓͋́̑ ̸̹̓̽̎́̕͠a̶̖̓͛͠r̴͇̦̹͇̊̊̋̔̅ḛ̷͔͖̟̓̎̀͒͝ ̸̪̳͕̌̎̔̓ͅg̶̗̮͆͌̌̐̄ó̴̟̜̳̿͛̕͜ȋ̶̜̑̿͆̓͝n̷͚̊ġ̴̯̲̮̝̺̠́̾ ̵͉̂̐̈́͗͝ͅt̶̨̛̖̱̠̰̂̏̊͠o̵̟͕̣̔̈́̓̋̔ ̷̢̝̉̈́̄͋͘̚ͅs̴̙̖̣͈̆̇͗ĺ̷ͅe̸͓͚͂̇̑̑͐̓ȩ̸̯̒͌p̷̛͖̙̞̘̐̇̓?̴̪̮̮̍͊́̚͝!̸͙̼̐̇̏̿͜ͅ ̷̢̢̬̟͌͝ͅẂ̸͕̝̽͆̍o̵̢̺͉̪̟̣͋̋̓̄̂̑m̸̬͙̠̩̗̑͋͑̔͑͆a̸̜̰̺̿̑͊̚n̵̡͙̹͒!̵̞̂̓̇̕͜ ̴͙̮̂W̶̰̼̬̳͔̌̐a̸̛̝̳͖̾̔̓k̵̭͉͈͖̅͗̐͛ͅe̵̙̭̙͛ ̷̨̫̟͓̫̗͆h̷̺͚̆̈̈̅͠͝i̵͈͠m̵̝̫̌̒͛̂ ̵̢͈͍̝̎̅̒u̴̡̺̙̤̽́͛̈͜p̴̡̺͙̙̱̚!̵̛̥̦̯̰̹͔̈́̌̈́

He was going to fell into darkness, until he heard something.

A whistle.

Opening his eyes, [name] thought of his choices: sleep, hoping to be found? or to suck it up, get up and find whoever was calling for him? This wasn't the time to sleep around— not after such display.

Even if all of his body screamed in pain, the boy got up and with his last strength went to where the sound came from— he knew exactly where it was. Luckily, every time [name] felt he was dozing off or just collapse, the stranger whistled again. Just as he stepped closer, he could hear it— voices, two people walking around, talking about some idiot and another gentle voice saying he was going to be alright.

[name] knew exactly who they were. 

With a last fight, [Name] stepped out of where he was and fell straight to the ground, sighing in relief as he heard the voices of his partners coming for him.

”Holy fucking shit!” The blond exclaimed as his eyes widened in surprise and relief, running where [Name] was, “you are alive— you crazy idiot! What were you thinking running off with that thing like that!? You almost killed me!” He tried to look at every injury the [hair color] haired had, and by just seeing how much blood covered his body turned his tone to one more terrified, “holy shit— holy shit! How are you even standing?!”

”R—Reiner! Calm down, he’s okay!” Bertolt tried to keep his friend with a cold head, but the tall boy felt scared of [name]'s well being. Any of it looked okay— the amnesiac boy looked like he went trough hell and back. He was covered in blood, he was shaking. Bertolt felt fear for him.

”I... handled... it,” [Name] spoke between breaths, tired of today, “I told you... we would find each other,” he smiled tirelessly, closing his eyes.

”H—Hey! Don’t close your eyes!”

But even if [Name] wanted to resist, the darkness caressed him with gentleness, inviting him to give in— which he gladly did. The last thing he recollected was both boys carrying him, speaking to him to not fall asleep.

”I told you he’s strong.”

”He barely made it, don’t act high mighty when he has more to do.”

”Reckless.”

“Oh, hush! He’s alive— that’s what matters.”

"Hmn. But for how long?"

♛

The nurse made it clear he wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon— horrible news for his friends to hear. She had explained his injuries were worse than they thought— his arm was the bigger problem, to the point they thought it was unusable at first glance. Luckily, further inspection discarded such statement, only needing some stitches to all the injuries and a special treatment for his arm. His arms and stomach were the main point of the attack, with his leg being heavily bruised. Thankfully [name] was unconscious for all the process to not interrupt the process.

Unfortunately, there was no more to do until he woke up, an answer they didn’t have. The boy fell into a slumber where nobody could wake him up. Sometimes the nurse, who was in charge of him most of the time, said he would grunt or say some slurred words. This could be caused by the fever that appeared the next day of his arrival, complicating his health. The head doctor didn't sugarcoat his words and stated he could or could not wake up, if only he didn't succumb to the fever any more.

There where times when his friends would visit him, but the doctor had strictly stated only one person could everyday— the man was surprised as he always saw someone else everyday. The majority always asked for him to wake up and be together again, yet each one of them asked with different tones. Some were upset, others careless —as if they knew he would wake up— and sometimes, he heard a happy voice telling the boy they would wait for him.

Now that he recollected, those two were best friend but yet, they were much different— what was it? Jaeger and his friend... Arlert. The doctor had a memory of how miserable Jaeger looked, taking Knight's hand as if it was the last time he would see him. He could tell the boy needed to cry, but hold his ground, just saying that he 'didn't want to go through this again'. And there was cadet Arlert, who only time he looked upset was the first encounter he had with Knight. Then for his next visits he often wore a sweet smile, holding Knight's hand as he spoke about wondering lands they didn't know— about what they did for today, about a memory they once shared. He liked to bring books to read at loud, too.

And then, there was this other boy— the doctor heard his name once, when someone was calling for him outside: Jean. A look of anger sometimes overcome his features, voicing his irritation about what his friend had done. There was a time where the boy asked the doctor if he was going to die or not, perhaps in a heat moment where he didn't want to wonder any longer. The answer was that, for him, it was unlikely yet not impossible. Jean just grunted, returning to his crossing arms stance with his usual frown. There were times where Jean could only stare at him, not saying a word. But there were other times when he could walk all over the room, until the doctor had to tell him to sit down or leave.

Sometimes, a black haired girl came too. Wearing a sad expression, yet firm voice. She always asked if there was something she could help them with whatever they needed for [name]. "We'll wait for you anytime, [name]. Even if it takes some time," she tries to reassured to the sleeping boy, yet a sigh escapes her lips, "...I cannot say the same for Eren, tough. You are making him the kid he was when you fell sick," she takes his hand, rubbing with her thumb his palm, "you know he has no patience at all... [name], please don't go where we can't reach. I miss you." and just like many times before leaving, she kissed his hand with gentleness.

Eventually Shadis came once, checking on the boy and asking if there was going to be something permanent on his health or not. Even if the wounds looked bad, there wasn't any indication of a permanent consequence. Yet if he woke up any time soon, he had to wait for his wounds to heal completely and take out the stitches. The doctor had made it clear he could not participate in any training if he wasn't fully healed. Shadis knew this already, anyway. Both of them acknowledged the rigorous training the ODM could be, and opening wounds was a big no no. The taller man only wondered if [name] could keep up with their training, or if he would decide to quit after such experience. Only them could wonder.

_______

the past.

_______

”You know, your eyes are different.”

”You have said that before.”

”I know. But I’ve never seen something like them before— and then you don’t remember anything…”

”Your point?”

Armin hums, wondering. 

“Maybe you are not even from here! Maybe you are from a place faaaar far away, don’t you think?”

“If I am from far away, how am I here?”

”Well! The books say humanity made the walls at one point, so that means there were people living freely before that!”

The amnesiac hums.

”And maybe, you were from an important family with distinguish features!” the small boy laughs warmly, imagining the past of his friend, “just like Valten’s story! don’t you think the same?”

Of course he remembers Valten— it was one of Armin’s books the two liked to read. It was about Valten, a boy with amnesia who a girl finds unconscious near a lake. Since the boy doesn’t recall any memories, the girl takes him back to her family, who runs a bar in town. His life develops from there, until an accident reveals his birthmark to the royals and finds out he was the lost prince from the royal family.

The moment Armin found out about the book he ran to Beatrice’s house to read it with his friend. From there, the blond always had bright ideas for [Name]’s past, absurd as they were. That was only what they had— wonders and speculations. Children’s wonder about the unknown— about what existed far away from this confinement.

”But why am I the only one with these eyes…?” [Name] spoke quietly, resting his chin on his knees as he hugged his legs.

”Hmn… maybe because you are special! Maybe you are the only one in your family that have them!”

“Mhm…” he sighs.

”But what we do know, is that our answers are outside these walls! Where the sea is!”

That, [Name] could agree with.

”It is said that the sea is much bigger than—!” And there goes his blond friend again, with excitement in his voice and reddened face as he spoke once more about the sea as if it was the first time he did it.

[name] couldn’t help a smile from forming, feeling excitement on his chest as he imagined what the sea looked like.

_____

the ocean.

_____

“As I was saying, child…” the woman stared expectantly, ordering with her tone to listen, “your future is already written. It is your choice to do it willingly, but unfortunately, if you refuse this task… it will be a hard life for you.”

The woman took some sand, just to slip it little by little. Staring, the boy found the sand more interesting than the so important topic at hand. A laughter came out from the woman before a sad, melancholic gaze appeared on her. 

"Be responsible with your strength— there would be times when you are harsher, so be mindful. Be thoughtful; just throwing your rage at your enemies won't help you, child. That is something a couple of our descendants had trouble with in the past, so don't make the same mistake."

"How do you know about them?"

"Because at one point in your life, you will be able to see the past of some of our lineage. And, if there's no mishap, they and I, would help you trough your task."

”Why do I have to do it…?”

”Because there’s nobody else, love… your family— this lineage, is destined to… disappear. It is our curse, since our blood and bodies were used for the wrong purpose— corrupted by greed just for the sake of wanting more.

Something like us weren't meant to exist, and so, time is our biggest enemy. There will be times where you will suffer the throwbacks of our lineage. After all, we are a creation born from ignorance, and greed blinds the common sense.“

”…I don’t understand…”

She chuckles, “sometimes I forgot you are just a child…” looking at the sea in front of them, a sigh escapes her lips, “the ocean… is beautiful, isn’t it?”

The boy’s eyes sparkled with excitement, clearly enjoying the change of subject. “Yes! It is very big and blue!!!”

”Indeed it is,” she smiles, “close your eyes with me, child.”

“Can you hear it? The waves?”

”Yes!” He answered in a hushed tone, smiling.

”The birds… the wind…”

”Yeah.::”

”That’s a gift from the world to you,” she pauses, “if someday you feel like crying— if you cannot find your way, close your eyes and remember this gift. Remember these sounds, this scenery…

remember, that I will always love you.”

____

the present.

____

The amnesiac slowly opens his eyes, body almost numb and hurting. With a migraine incoming, the boy prepared for the worst feeling he was going to experience for the next days.

He let out a groan, alerting the companion on the chair. 

Calling his name, [Name] recognized it was Jean. His worried, loud voice made him headache worse than ever, “s-shit! are you awake?!" the only answer he got was another grunt by [name], who tried to sit down yet he didn't have enough strength to move himself. He felt as if he was... underwater. "don't move! after what you have been trough, don't move an inch, you hear me?! after that shit you did—"

"I saw the ocean," [name] spoke bluntly, staring at the ceiling. It felt too real— a woman he knew but didn't recognize talking about...?

A grunt leaves Jean. "[name], you dream about everything and then—"

"No," [name] interrupted, "I have seen it; it was... vivid."

"...the attack took a toll on you, [name]. Stop talking nonsense,"

Shaking his head, [name] tries his best to sit down, trying to think about the dream. "I think... I think I lived near the ocean— or at least someone I knew lived on the shore..."

"Shore...? [name], you are not listening to me! You have slept for almost three weeks!"

"You are the one who doesn't listen!" [name] talked back, clearly annoyed, "I'm sure the ocean has something to do with me! I just do! Even if all of that was a dream, I..." he looked at his fists with a frown, feeling chaos inside his head, "I know what I saw was real. A woman talked to me on the shore... but I can't reach her words. Something about... me...?"

Jean sighed, annoyed yet understanding. His friend never remembered something about his past back in Trost, so hearing more nonsense than usual leaving his mouth was even more irritating knowing this idiot throw himself to danger like nothing. That was made him livid— he agreed mentally he would hear [name] out, but the lecture he prepared come first.

"Okay, your memories aside," Jean passed a hand trough his hair, "I just want to know WHY DID YOU ALMOST KILL YOURSELF, YOU IDIOT!"

Grunting, [name] laid down harshly again. As he rolled his eyes, he tried to calm his migraine down with no success. "Reiner was in danger. What else could I have done?"

"Uhm, I don't know? Maybe LEAVE REINER WITH THE FUCKING BEAR? The dudes almost a Titan himself, [name]! He could have handled himself just fine! But you HAVE to always be in danger for nothing!"

"How could I left him with that? He's my friend! Would you have done that to Marco?" 

"You have to care for yourself, [name]. I'm seriously saying this."

"Don't act selfish."

"Don't act dumbly. You know you have a problem with your migraines— what would have happen if Reiner didn't find you? Stop acting stupid!"

"But he found me! And now I'm here!" [name] shouted, "Why would I have left him like that!? He's my friend, just like you!"

"Of course fucking not! We are not the same!" he gritted his teeth, "don't even compare me with him!"

[name] glares at Jean, clearly upset. Yet the tone of his voice returns serene again. "Would you have left me there, then? Because I wouldn't have,"

Jean grunted, clearly in disadvantage. “Stop acting like a saint, shit,” covering his face with his hand, the boy’s tone changed into a defeated, tired one, "why are you this clueless? Why can't you see how this place is?" he felt sensible, "why are you so different?"

"…” [Name] stared at the ceiling, a blank but clear sadness overcoming his features, “wish I could know,”

As Jean retreated his body on the back of the chair, a sensible yet pity look fell over his dear friend. Back in Trost, those strange captivating eyes were lost. Jean sometimes imagined looking into a doll’s eyes— an abyss without a light. A dark corridor without exit. There were times he thought his friend was born unable to feel.

But his eyes changed. A harsh change made them sparkier— vivid. It was then, that his sadness, happiness, playful feelings were clearer to catch. 

Jean knew all about it.

His friend was sad when waking up— times where fogging nightmares or nonexistent dreams plagued his mind, making him feel useless.

His friend was happy when eating Beatrice’s breakfast— it reminded him of happier memories he could make instead of trying to reach the past.

His friend was relaxed when sleeping where he wanted— specially inside the woods. A peaceful slumber where Jean wished those times never ended.

His friend was angry when fighting his bullies— Jean always could see that fire in his eyes. It could have been scary, but being [Name], it was never scary.

He only saw tears once. And not those painful tears when headaches came— no. Tears for someone else in his dream; for a person yet to met.

His friend was lost in the world, but at the same time, he wasn't.

Jean sighed, tirelessly blinking. “…a shore, you said?”

e m p t y / 14

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter fourteen

seek

“Nothing is going to work, XXXXXXX.”

”Don’t speak so negatively— this kid is our future.”

”Our future? XXXXXX, we have no future! Yeah, he controls it, then what? Can we return from the death? Of course fucking not!”

”I believe in him. He will be one of the people who free us all— you heard him, didn’t you? This kid is strong.”

”Is that what you call strong? The brat can barely handle a headache, and that’s where he cries like a goddamn baby. This kid is not going to be a hero, nor a savior. This world is condemned to fail like in the beginning.”

”He wouldn’t suffer much if you weren’t so intrusive onto him,” they sigh, “the XXXX may have kill us all, but our destiny made us stay together— we have to protect this child.”

“How the fuck can we protect if we’re not there, and this kid doesn’t bear a damn headache?”

”He won’t try to remember— he knows the pain well.”

”That’s right, XXXXXXX. W——, stop being like this— [Name] will get a concussion or get ill like before. The child has had enough already.”

”As if I care. It’s not as if I have faith in the first place,” he sighs, “we should have stayed hidden... the X?#! was a son of a bitch for doing what he did. Why the fuck did we returned?”

”We can’t let the past repeat again— this world doesn’t deserve that.”

”Humanity deserves it.”

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"—me]! Enough sleep!"

"Hmn...?" He opens his eyes slowly, recognizing Jean with an annoyed expression— [name] noticed he was already ready for training, "how tiring..."

"If you don't wake up now you will in three hours— so get dressed already,” he helps [Name] sit, getting his messy hair out of his face and talking to him to not fall asleep again. Marco was near to learn about how to wake up [Name] properly, as he was his partner. He didn't say it out loud, but [Name]'s sleepy and messy hair was a pretty cute and funny look.

The thought made him blush, looking at the side in shyness, "What I'm thinking?!" He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the side of his neck.

Successfully making [Name] getting off the bed, he stretches like a cat. Looks like Jean has already placed his uniform on the bed to not make it more difficult to him. "Thank you, Jean."

His friend sighs, gritting his teeth. Irritated by such careless attitude, Jean ordered him, "just dress already, okay?"

"Aaaah? Jean looks like a mom! HAHAHA!" Connie jokes, laughing with everyone else. This makes Jean's blush worse, not liking the spotlight one a bit.

This is what I was trying to avoid!!! DAMMIT!

"S-SHUT UP!"

“You are talking too loudly,“ [name] rubbed his eye, frowning. They were so loud in the mornings— he couldn’t wait for their day off to sleep as much as he wanted.

“That will be necessary to make you stay awake, don’t you think?" Marco chuckled sweetly, helping [name] to button his shirt. “[name] does look as cute as a kitten, but he is strong, or even stronger than Annie... For some reason, I feel... safe,” he thinks with a tint of scarlet on his face, finishing his actions. It was true— [Name] wasn’t an idiot, much less clueless. Marco believed his friend stood his ground with whoever, and if [name] noticed the true dark intentions of others, they would pay a big prize for it. He had to be just waken up from that slumber in which the freckled boy wouldn't leave him alone.

“That's annoying,” he yawns, "I can't wait to sleep in the woods again..."

“The woods? Wouldn't that be dangerous? You don't know how many wolves can be there! Or even bears!!"

"Bears are cute," [name] blinked, "I wouldn't mind."

"Don't say that!!! They are dangerous!"

"But cute," he chuckled, "do you think Reiner would win a fight with a bear? Bertolt is huge, but I think Reiner would win."

Marco blinked a few times as he processed the sudden question. Laughing, the freckled boy imagined such scene. "What was that question for?"

"Dunno— just thought about it," he stands up, seeing Marco finished buttoning his shirt. "What are we doing today?"

"Oh—! We are doing a training in the woods! I think it's a survival thing— so maybe we would be there for two days," he smiled, "isn't that exciting?"

"The woods?" [name] grinned.

"You won't find a bear, [name]!"

"If I'm lucky maybe I would be paired with Reiner..." he mutters, tapping his lower lip with his finger.

The freckled boy sighed, amused by such interesting person. [Name] could be incredible when he wanted— he sure said silly things, but when the situation was needed he was responsible and took things in a serious manner. Analyzing him was interesting and funny— it was as if Marco was watching a deer from a hide place, observing and taking notes. [Name] was sure different, but Marco couldn't pin point what was the thing that made him who he was— his unusual eyes? the mark he had on his shoulder? the stuff he said? his motivations? He couldn't describe it, but it was pleasant to spent time with him.

"—co. Marcooooo..." [name]'s voice filled his ears. He didn't even notice him losing himself in his thoughts, "what were you thinking about? Are you sleepy?"

Marco gently laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry— I was just thinking," he looks at [name], "we should go for breakfast— there's still time, so let's go!"

[name] blinked, tilting his head. It wasn't often Marco got lost in his thoughts, "...okay," looking at Jean, who was still fighting with Connie, [name] spoke out of him, "we are going to breakfast, Jeanbo!" and with that, [name] took Marco's hand to leave with a grin on his face. He didn't want to stay and hear Jean's yells at him— he could hear Connie's laughter as he repeated the nickname. Jean is going to be angry at me... Oh well.

Marco just laughed, amused. He really never wanted training days to end.

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As breakfast finished, Marco left first to get ready with Jean— the both of them were eager for today's training. [Name] took his time to finish, leaving the barrack to find the others. Unfortunately, some other thing made him remember how unlucky he could be.

He bumped into someone else, making the poor victim fall on the ground. 

"I'm sorry— I didn't see you," [Name] spoke with worry, offering his hand to the other to take— it was a petite blonde girl. The boy blinked, tilting his head as he saw the resemblance of a pretty doll. Hmn... I know her. What's her name...?

But when their hands touched, an electrifying sensation passed trough arm to his eyes, making them freeze in the spot. It seemed the girl felt it too, because her friend quickly hushed [Name]'s hand from her, making them wake up from the strange daze.

P̷̟͑r̸̨̢̛͙͕͈̲̻͓͔͍̣̮͋̍͒̃̈́͜x̴̧̘̯̹̦͙̭̜͉͔̙͍̫͆͑̉#̴̨̢͉̲̥̞̤̣̦͕̹̙͌̾̅̏́͂͋̅ë̶̙̭͔̞̥͌̇̇̄͝x̷̮̺͍̗͍͖̟͙͛͜ͅx̶͙̭͗̂͛̌͝ ̵̢͚͍̙̪̜̙̜̣̭̮̦̠̅̑̅͋̈͌̈́̄ͅẍ̶̧̨̢̮͉̻̮͍̳͔͚̺̖̝̮́̂̄̋͌͆̏̆!̶̪͉̞̲͍͙̟̮͈̫̗͖̔̀̕#̴̱̠̄̑̂̈̍̈́́ ̷̨̡̢̧̥̜̼̪̐͌̂͊͊̐͌͘K̶̞̤͚̗̳̈́̏͗̚͠į̶̍̐̽͐̐ņ̶̝͕̮̺͓̄̋̊͜͝g̶͈̗̹̑͋͠ ̴̢̱̹̳̹̠̱̖̪͆̓̀̎̓̕f̵̳̤̮̒̇͂x̸̧̗̦͓̱̖͙̞̩̤̤̠̦̜͆̃̅͗̑̂̕x̶̧̤̖͈̥̰͎͇̻̙̰͇͇̠̉̂́̓̍͊͂͘͜͝x̵͈̲͖͕̺̘͎̤̠̳̪̋͌̃͑̉̈͌̃̍̚͝ ̵̛̪̝͔̖̖͓̠͖̖͕͒̎̏̐̽̀M̴̘͕̲̥̯̍̈́͗̒̃̑x̷̟̳̄̔#̴͔̣̺̭̯̪̒̄͌͋̔̃͐̓̍̃̊̽̚͝%̴̧̧̣͔̻͎̳̉̎͐̃̍͐͊̈̽͗̉͘̕͠͝x̸̛̦̬̦͇͙̲̙̻̙̜̊̈́͛̋͆̂̓͜͠ỵ̸̡̣̖̟͈͂͋̏̈́̑̓̈́̚!̷̢͉̰̯̳̺̪̟̪͓̰͚̖͖́͠

  "What the hell are you two doing? You look like weirdos," she narrows his eyes to both of them, curious about such strange interaction, "is this a secret code to make me not know what you are talking about, Christa?"

"Of course not! We just..." She sees [Name], who has the same unnerved aura she has. What was that? “We had an electric shock!” she chuckles awkwardly, trying to light the mood. 

It was strange, yet familiar. He had felt the same thing when he met Reiner back in the refugee— he had small electric shocks with other people before, but these two interactions felt much different. Nevertheless, [Name] doesn't think much of it and looks at the two girls who are staring at him intently. Blinking, the boy scratches his neck a little bit, feeling unnerved by the stare of the brunette girl. It looked like she was observing— it was an intense stare. [name] wanted to leave.

"Sorry, again," he speaks in a gentle tone, dusting the girl's clothes for her. Not liking him touching her one a bit, the tall girl slapped his hands off of her, surprising the boy by such rejection and force.

"Hey! Hands off of my Christa!" She spoke loudly, tightly hugging the blonde girl.

[name] frowns. ”Yours...?”

"Ymir! He's just helping out, let him be!" she spoke with a pout, turning to [Name], "don't mind her, she's always this dumb,"

"You break my nonexistent heart, my love,"

Ymir... What... a peculiar name was that... Ymir, Ymir, Ymir... Ymir?

  W̸̗̼̖̯̲̠͙̐ė̴̪̜̥̔͐̂̔̂̅͒̒͑̍͘͠͠ ̸̣̥͒͌̀͌͋f̵̣̫̥̼̠̟̪̏͒͆̃̏͒̈́̋͒͠͠ì̵̠̥̺̹̦̈́̅̊̽͒̐͝ͅġ̷̢̲̥̤̱̦̳͎̭͉͓̠̖͛̒͛̄͝ĥ̵̺̻͓̻̼̳̟̫͆̃̂͐̿̊̔͗̉͌̅̂̚͝t̵̢̞͚̥͎̭̗͍̖̂̿̆̉̆͛̕̚̚ ̴͉̣͕͍͇̎̑̋̓̽͆̋̾̓̈́͠f̴̺͎̦̖͕̪̳̹̅̒̒͌͆̆͗͑̊̂͋̽͒ǫ̶̲̰̣̣̤̩̈́͜͜͝ŗ̸̳̀ ̷̨̢͚̮̯͎̫̹̞͓͕̝̠̬̻̀̿̏̊ǭ̸̨̼͚͈͕̯̲̭̄͜͝ͅu̷̢͉̟̮̝̖͎̗̙͌̓̕͜͠ͅṟ̸̳̥̟̹̦̲̺͖̲̺͂̐͛͒̂̈̅̓̕͝ ̷̢̡͈̯̗͙̄̓̄̂̈́͘͜͝ͅğ̵͎͔̝͇̥̰̭͕̘o̷̡̳͌̍̓̓̅̍̆̆ḑ̶̹̬̯̿̆̐d̸̼̞̩̝̪̱͔̥̪̩̈ȩ̴̢̝̖̺̫̦̠̪̫̅̈́̅̀́͋͋͜͠͝s̶̲̜͕̓͌̕͝͝͠s̶̛̟̰͉͍͇̰̰̖͎̹̣̮̗̩͋̀̓͆͂̈̕ ̸̢̭̯̳̜̣̯͓̘̣͛̈̀̈́̑Ỹ̶͚͉̀͜m̶̡͖̜̤̻͉̟͂̉͐̈́̎̄̎̚͘ǐ̷͇͉̯̣̉̔r̷̢̧̛͇̬͖̫̝̤̞̦̲̥̱̃͊̒̎͝—̸̗̲̞̺͇̥̬̝̼̩̻̓͌̈̓̓̎͝͠͠ͅ ̵̮͖͈͕̹̈́O̴̟̜̳̰̹͕̕͘ų̴̛̣̘̘͇͆͆͌̐̌͗̃͊̏̔͋͠ȑ̷̡̳̺ ̷̻̈́̏̔̂͒͗͗͋̓̕c̵͚̮̠͍̹̠̲͙̞̱̬̞͜͝r̵̨͈̗̰̞̳̤̰̦͇͎̥̱̮̦͒̅̄͑̕e̷̡͖̲͓̺̳̺̪͚̼͋̌̈́̃͒̏͒͒̐̀͑̎̆͜a̵̛̤̙͚̹̞͇̩̤͚̞ţ̸̛͔̤͖̺̖͇̀̀̇̐͊͑͒̎̎͒̕͜͝o̷̢͓̤̠̓̈̈͆̽̆̓͊͑͘r̸̢̼̈̎̐̒̋̊.̴͇͔̻͕̖̤̥͙̩̟͈̹͙̾ͅ

      There was an inexplicable feeling— he didn't want to leave them. No— not them, but her. The feeling told him to stand by the blonde’s side and protect her for any threat, even if they were in a safe place. [Name] didn’t understand— what threat would he protect her for? Why would he? Frowning, [Name] decided to just ignore these thoughts, not pleased by another weird thing happening to him once more.

”See you around, I guess?” He tilted his head, feeling the urge to leave already. He didn’t like this feeling— something inside his chest revolted, as if it wanted to be freed. Something whispered over his ear, a bodiless voice with no gender nor soul— something and not someone.

”Oh, okay! See you around!” The petite girl gave him a beautiful smile, and if [Name] could guess, it looked like one of his mother’s. The brunette frowned at him, narrowing her eyes and staring over her nose. Seemed she was observing whatever he was trying to hide— [Name] just wanted to flee, and that’s exactly what he did.

Already leaving, he clenched his shirt, frowning. His unnerving feeling didn’t go away— his chest felt like burning, the tip of his fingers shaking; almost feeling as if needles pinch trough his skin. What was that feeling? If [name] could describe it, he didn't feel himself. Or to be more precise, his thoughts and mind didn't feel his'. It was strange— he felt as if those thoughts had been forcibly inserted into his brain by someone else.

"I don't like this. It's scary," he muttered to himself, moving the tips of his fingers in nervousness. "Creepy, creepy, creepy..."

  Ț̵̛̰̥͔̞̪̱̈̔͋̽̈͑̈́͑͝h̸̡̛̤͚͉̞̠̦̠̞̹̥̞̽́͊͒͆̒͒͛̈̈́̚͜͝ḯ̴̥̗͋̋͋̉̃̓̆̃͜ͅs̴̨̳͚̮̯̰̻͈̥̤͈̐̿̃͌̐͘ ̶̻͎͗͌̒̌̎͋͑̊̋͒͠g̶̦̙͇͕̜̤͚̥̥̍̒̾̔̑͗̕͜e̶̫̰̿͋̈́̍̊̒̋͜t̵̨͇͕̯͖̬̮̞̙͔̬̖͖̺̉͒͒̈̑͌̉ͅs̵͖̞̭͇̑̾̃̍̈́͛̚ ̸̢̨̪͓̠̘̻̗̠̙͐͐͆͒̊͌̏͑̇́͋̇̓e̶̡̘͔͙͕̪̳̟̯͙͙̺̦̎̑̋̓͌͋͜v̷̰̫̼͎̝̾̂̊e̷̢̛̟͍̠̗͈̱̺̒̄͒̿͂͗̆͌̇̾͒̌̚͝ͅͅń̵̜̤͓͔̲̽͊̎̈̋̇͒̔ ̶͓̋͌̇͒̉̃͗̈́́͋͠͠͝b̸̛̺͇͖̙̟̹͎̫͔̮͎͉̒ề̶͈̮̱̞̚t̵̮̫͕͒̎̐̄̆̒͋̄̍͜ţ̵̧̢̫̭͓̼͕̲̜̼̪́̔̈́͆͒͐̓͑ę̸̢̯̮̓̇̅ͅr̸̥̰̭͐̏̓̊̂̅̑̐̏̀͒̈́̾͘͠ͅ,̸̡͕̲̱͍̭̩̲͍̯̙̈͂̏̂͠͝ ̵̢̤̳̬̺͙̙̳̣͚̺̟̘̂̆͗͋̇͑̽͌͛̏̈́͂͠ͅ—̵̖̱̪̳̦̅̄̔͠ͅ.̸̟̈́͂̄̓̑̋̃͘̚̚̚

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"Today's training is simple— as simple for maggots like you. First, you and your team will have to go to point A to B to collect a flag, then C to A again. Teams are already been done, and if I hear you want to switch places I will throw you to the ground and make run laps until you pass out," the taller man watches, "the teams will be maximum of three— a backpack will be given to each member with different utilities. The test should be done in two days or three days, depending on how incapable can you be. Someone has to keep a record of any circumstances going on during your training. Now, we will say the teams, so pay attention— SPRINGER! STOP LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT AND LISTEN!"

”Jean Kirstein, Eren Jaeger, Thomas Wagner,”

”Fucking hell!” [Name] could hear Jean cursing.

[Name] hides his grin. ”Fucking.”

”Stop!”

”Mikasa Ackerman, Annie Leonhardt, Mina Carolina,”

"Daz —, Marco Bodt, Sasha Blouse,"

”Bertholdt Hoover, Reiner Braun, [Name] Knight,”

[Name] blinked, looking for Bertholdt’s face in the crowd. When he spotted him, he waved enthusiastically with sparks on his eyes. Bertholdt gulped, returning the wave weakly with a nervous smile. The taller boy could notice [Name] seemed... a little eager when they paired up in training. He had deduced it was his height, since [Name] always liked to ask about how he got so tall. It was a weird topic of conversation, but that's how he was— an unpredictable and a bit strange guy. Nevertheless, the tall boy was lucky enough to have Reiner by his side this time.

As the teams were together, the three teammates took their backpacks as they conversed. Bertholdt took a look at the map, analyzing the directions they had to take.

”Looks like we are together this time,” Reiner speaks to him with a grin, “heard you got second place the other time, tho.”

”I think we were lucky,” [name] scratches his neck, “I don’t know how will I go with directions...”

The three of them walk trough the woods, Reiner sparing a glance at the other teams taking other directions. ”We are going to be just fine— leave it to me and we’ll be safe and sound.”

[name] tilts his head, staring at Reiner with fake innocence. ”And if we encounter a bear? Maybe wolves? If it rains?”

”Fortunately, it will rain before any of the others appear.”

”What if... the titans appear? What then?”

Reiner and Bertholdt quickly share a look, before turning to [Name]. The boy’s eyes stare at nothingness for a moment, awkward silence prevailing. Neither of the two say anything— it sounded... almost cryptic, if he was hiding the real meaning of that question. Bertholdt felt a shiver trough his whole spine, creeped out by the tone [name] used. It was quite frightening... how someone so... like him, used such tone at them.

“That’s too dark,” [Name] yawns, breaking the horrible tension as they walked again, “hope we can see a bear. They are cute.”

”You... can say pretty scary things, uh, [Name]?” Reiner laughs nervously, sharing a look with Bertholdt. That was... strange.

”Sometimes we have to imagine every possible outcome, don’t you think? We have to be prepared,” playing with his hair lazily, the boy looks at the sky, “mmmh... the sky... it sounds different.”

”Different...?”

[Name] hums, “raining’s coming, possibly.”

”How can you tell?” Reiner stared at the sky, looking as bright as ever. There was no difference from other days— it had stayed sunny.

[name] shrugs. “Dunno— it’s just sounds different. As if I was hearing... steam.”

”You really are something else,” Reiner laughs, amused by such ability. “How much can you hear anyways? Are you nosy, perhaps?”

”A lot, actually. And no, if I’m not paying attention I don’t understand what others are saying— if the topic takes my attention, then I would know many secrets others have,” [name] answered indifferently, taking a closer look at the map as he rested his head on Bertolt's arm. The taller boy blushed by the proximity, a bit intimidated and uncomfortable by the statement.

The last sentence did sent a shiver down their spine— [Name] could have spoken with such a laid back and careless tone, but the two couldn’t help but feel something personal against those words. Sharing a quick look, Reiner chuckled to lighten his own mood and relax his tensed shoulders.

”Are you willing to blackmail? A such cutie and small kitten like you?” 

“Well, this small kitten made you scream in combat training,” [Name] stuck out his tongue, narrowing his eyes in an offended way. “Blackmailing is bad anyways. I’ve read in novels that’s just the lowest of the low, and it’s such a pitiful tactic to use. So I will never use it. Roderick taught me that," [name] proudly spoke— as if he was telling them the entire truth of the world.

Reiner blinks, “you know, I’ve hearing you say a lot of things you learn on books— isn’t that a bit... unusual to say at our age?”

”Why? Books have a lot of answers I can learn. They speak the truth,” he puffs his chest in pride, “also they never disappoint.”

Reiner stares at him with narrowed eyes, debating what to ask. Should he go deeper or touch the surface...? He was kinda curious of [name]'s mind— he had heard him speak like this before, and his unusual behavior made him conclude something. Nah, let’s go in. “What’s sex?”

Bertolt chokes on his own saliva, calling Reiner’s name in a flustered tone. "R—Reiner! W—What?!"

As the blond expected, [name] said the same exact explanation he spoke to Jean back then. What he noticed was how sure [name] looked, not even embarrassed or unsure about the answer. Bertolt widened his eyes, blinking in amazement.

”...for the walls,” Reiner can’t help but laugh at such childish answer— where the hell was he in class? How could [Name] in this age say something like that? It amused him; even Bertolt averted his blushy face to hide his smile by such answer. It was a funny situation, really.

“Why are you laughing?” Jean didn’t laugh— well, his reaction wasn’t better. [Name] felt personally attacked by such reaction— was he really wrong? And for them laugh at him like that!

”I can’t believe this,” he passed a hand trough his face, “[Name], I’m not going to teach you something like that in a deep explanation. But I will say what you imagine what sex is goes much deeper than that,” even if he could be a horny teenager, no way in hell he could take more advantage than simple kisses [Name] gave him. Even when he looked so cute the other day— if [name] didn't even know what he was doing, then there was no fun in doing it. So that's why you don't fluster! Got you.

”Why won’t you?” [name] frowned, crossing his arms in irritation. 

“Grab a book about the human’s anatomy and then we’ll do the adult talking,” Reiner smirked, walking ahead of him without saying another word. 

As the amnesiac concluded he wasn't going to cooperate, he turned at Bertolt, who blushed like crazy because of the topic. ”Can you tell me why I’m wrong, Bertolt?” [Name] blinked repeatedly, trying his charms to get out an answer out of him.

“I—I will just say you are not entirely wrong, but not right either,” covering his mouth to stop a chuckle, the brunette couldn’t imagine [Name] being this clueless. Sometimes looking so tough, nobody could imagine such ideas from him— hell, he looked terrifying when fighting Reiner, so this situation was hilarious to him.

[Name] pouted, switching his attention to the path ahead. Was he that wrong? But he couldn’t just believe «Amelie’s Crown» lied with what it was... He had put his faith in Amelie! She couldn’t just betray his trust like that! How could you, Amelie?!

”I won’t believe Amelie lied to me...” he spoke to himself, lost in his own world filled with flower fields and frogs. His depressing aura was noticed clearly, confusing his two companions.

”Uh... you okay?”

[Name] huffed, irritated, "anyways," he turned his head to his companions, "who will take record of our training?"

"Ah! Good memory, [name]!" Reiner clapped his hands, "what do you think Bertolt? I can have the map and you can take record? Whatever you want, man,"

Bertolt timidly nodded, handing him the map. It was a nice change— the brunette didn't feel suitable for commanding directions, so silently taking record of what was going on was ok with him. [name] could just help Reiner in the leadership, but since his behavior went annoyed they weren't that sure anymore. 

Nevertheless, a long day awaited them.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

[Name] nose crinkles, looking at the sky. He stares at the grey clouds, “I already smell the rain. We should find somewhere to stay before we get wet.”

”Can find another way to get you—“

”Don’t finish!!”

Eventually the teenagers found a cave deep in the woods, decently spaced to let them lay down. It was pretty wet— they couldn't find the cave before raining, so they were a bit soaked. At least they found a refugee; being under the rain was dangerous, even more with the chilly air. Reiner had [name]'s headaches in mind— breathing in cold was something bad for the head, and he had noticed [name] like rain, but acknowledged it was dangerous to his health. Both Reiner and Bertholtd could see annoying the headaches got at the point of being pretty mortal when doing training. 

Placing his backpacks on the floor, the soldiers took out what was enough to do their beds and eat their packed food. Thankfully they wore their green caps this time, just because [name] warned them about the weather. Their clothes were not that soaked, so [name] being with them was pure luck. 

”Sasha almost eat my stuff, man. One cannot know with that girl,” Reiner said, taking a bite of his bread. The gluttony girl went for everybody before training— they all knew food was precious this time, but Reiner had remembered the girl stated she was a hunter, so stealing other people's food was... a bit too much.

[Name] took his boots and jacket off, sighing in relief as the tight and wet fabric was off of him. He laid them on the floor, making sure they didn't get stained or ruined. He starts to unbutton his shirt, shaking a little bit because of the cold.

Reiner almost chokes on his food as he sees [name]'s exhibitionism, but coughs casually to stay unbothered. ”Hey, hey— you won’t strip, would you? I mean, I have no complains but Bertolt here will have a heart attack.”

”I’m just going to take this off. They are tight and that irritates me,” he answers, but stops midway to stare at the tall brunette, “didn't think it was death needed," Bertolt blushed, averting his eyes from [name]'s body, noticing the small drops of water falling on his flesh. 

"What is going on with me?!"

”Anyways, I’ve been pretty curious when we fought. You seemed to know what you were doing— who taught you?” Reiner stared at him in interest, remembering his movements back then. He had beat his ass with no much effort; even Annie lost against him. And that, was something amazing and incredible— a stance he never saw before in a fight.

Nobody, he wanted to say. But deep down he knew someone have taught him everything— or at least he could say that from his short memories. “...Someone.” He opted to say, neither a lie nor a truth. Someone had done it, but he didn’t know who. He didn't know when, where— he didn't know anything about how he could fight like that.

”And that someone is?”

[Name] shrugs, taking a bite of his bread. ”Dunno.”

Reiner raised an eyebrow, confused. ”Dunno? You don’t remember or you don’t wanna say?”

Swallowing his food, [name] answered unbothered. ”I don’t remember.”

Reiner frowned, trying to recollect something— he heard something about his situation back then. ”Ah, I remember. Connie had said you hurt your head, right?”

Was everyone this nosy? “Yeah. I don’t know many things about me.”

”Not even where you are from?” Reiner asked, getting more interest by the individual in front of him. 

Where am I from...? “...I’m from Shiganshina. I was raised there,” that was his home, thanks to Beatrice.

The blond raised an eyebrow, perhaps not believing the answer. ”All your childhood?”

”...Part of it.”

He wasn’t going to try and remember. The pain was very well known, making him stay away from even trying or think about it. He was tired of the same fate, and if nothing good came out of it, then it wasn’t something important to do. 

”What do you mean part of it?”

Would he be able to explain? Beatrice had told him to not say the truth about his whereabouts, since it could bring problems. But could he trust in Reiner and Bertolt? The only person he had tell the truth was Jean, and he didn’t say much about it... Well, it wasn’t as if the two companions were some infiltrates of the Military Police, could they? Perhaps answering something small wasn’t dangerous— maybe... they were friends? They were... nice, after all.

“I...” he blinked, “I was from somewhere else.”

The blond hums, interested about the answer. ”Somewhere where?”

He began to feel irritated. "Aren't you noisy?" Reiner seemed too curious about it— or maybe it was just to pass the time. Either way, [name] didn’t like talking about his blurry past. It was a reminder of things that were never returning, and being the center of attention wasn't something he enjoyed either.

The blond laughs awkwardly, rubbing his neck. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just that... you seem mysterious, and that cute face you wear doesn’t help my curiosity from stopping.”

[Name] stays in silence for some time. Now that he thought about it, if he ignored Reiner’s forced flirty behavior, he radiated a... strong, brotherly aura. He had read about human’s auras— some radiated confidence, some others terror, vileness. [name] wondered what kind of aura he had, but the reminder of his situation build that doubtfulness of himself, making him thought about that so called aura being nonexistent for him. “...My past... is foggy.”

”Wait, so you do have memory loss?”

”I guess.”

"How much you can’t remember, then?"

The amnesiac tilts his head, scratching the tip of his fingers gently. "The first thing I remember is about me waking up in a forest, then my mom taking care of me."

That made some sense, at least. "Then... you were raised in Shiganshina but not born there...?" he blinks, "and there’s no recollection of anything about your past... damn, that’s... a little upsetting, but you seem unbothered by it."

"It’s not that I’m not... But trying only hurts me, and the doctor who helped me said if I over-did it, my mind could collapse and I would have serious injuries, so my mom made me stop doing that," he closes his eyes, "well, it isn’t as if I’m missing something— the people who have been around me... have helped me a lot. And if I can’t remember my past, the present is more important."

Reiner smiles. "I’m... glad you are handling it well. You seem to be filled with courage— no one needs to give you the 'you can do it' talk, uh?"

[Name] gently chuckles, amused. That wasn’t true— if it weren’t for Beatrice’s help, he wouldn’t be here right now. Even now, the need of someone helping him to stand on his feet was important. Being truly alone was something scary, and dealing with heavy stuff alone was something [name] wasn’t sure of. "Sometimes. Receiving help... is important."

Reiner hums. Bertolt looks like he wants to say something, and himself decides to spit it out before regretting it. "Why... why do you want to join the Survey Corps? Even with being face to face with them... you want to fight them..."

The amnesiac scratches his neck this time. "That’s because..." don’t. You think giving your trust isn't idiotic, you idiot? But before he could answer, he frowns. His answer isn’t all genuine— the true meaning of joining is hidden, because of someone else shutting his mouth. "I just want to bring my home back. Being trapped and cornered... is unfair."

[Name] can notice how Bertolt shifts uncomfortably with his usual nervous expression. The boy narrows his eyes, and the taller boy can notice being under such scary stare. The unknown voice is right, but [name] doesn’t want to listen. What could they do anyways? They were comrades, and for years they had to gain each other trust. Why would he suspect...? It was... ridiculous— uncalled for.

They were friends.

  V̶͚͚͖͔͚̂̏̉͋̌̑͘ņ̶̱̻̱̝̠̞̣͙̱̿̆̑̓̒͜͠ĕ̴͍͔̺̲̲̝̲̲̣͙͋͐͝ǎ̸̢̡͎̻̖̲̫̜̩͆̕h̶̋̎̽͗̊͐̓͛͂̋͆͜t̷̜̪̳͍̰̞͕̐̑̓̀̽͒͜͝ͅc̷̹̱̤̠̩̭͎͍̹͂̽̄̆̀͊̀̈́̑̋̈́̄́͜͝ ̷̢̣̰̲̦͛̈̇̐̊̾̊̏̎́͠͠ỹ̷̢̧̡͍̣̘̼̪̫͔͖͎̗̙̓̈́͛̾͒͜͝n̴͇̲̪̤͇̼͙͜͜͠͠ą̵̘̳̦̘̙̫̣̘͇̬̤̞͉͜ ̷̡͚̰͎͕̜̤̻̮̼͊̿̀͗͐̿͘͠s̶̡͓̺̜̬̼̪͕͗̈͂̐̉͐̏̏́̀͒â̸̡̛͔̩̥͉̬̺̏̎̈́̊̐͂͌̈̇͌͒͂ͅy̶̡̗͎̱͓̦̫͙͕̺̍̿͒̒̅̕ḣ̵̯̀ḙ̸̢̛̺̝̝̎̆̄͛̾̋͝͝͝ͅh̵̜̩̤͕̖͕̺̔̎͂͌̈́k̵̙̙̻̺̮͇͉̞̋̊͝m̶̧̛̩̞̬̮̰͖̰̞̃̔̐́͋̄̍͂̋̂͒̍̈͜a̷̬̓̐̉̊̇̄̒͂̑͛c̵͙̭̰̞̻̗̯͇̦͒̈́̄̈́͆͜c̴̳̖͂̾͌.̷̤̔̒̈́̇̓͗̎̅̈́̅̅̓͘V̶͚͚͖͔͚̂̏̉͋̌̑͘ņ̶̱̻̱̝̠̞̣͙̱̿̆̑̓̒͜͠ĕ̴͍͔̺̲̲̝̲̲̣͙͋͐͝ǎ̸̢̡͎̻̖̲̫̜̩͆̕h̶̋̎̽͗̊͐̓͛͂̋͆͜t̷̜̪̳͍̰̞͕̐̑̓̀̽͒͜͝ͅc̷̹̱̤̠̩̭͎͍̹͂̽̄̆̀͊̀̈́̑̋̈́̄́͜͝ ̷̢̣̰̲̦͛̈̇̐̊̾̊̏̎́͠͠ỹ̷̢̧̡͍̣̘̼̪̫͔͖͎̗̙̓̈́͛̾͒͜͝n̴͇̲̪̤͇̼͙͜͜͠͠ą̵̘̳̦̘̙̫̣̘͇̬̤̞͉͜ ̷̡͚̰͎͕̜̤̻̮̼͊̿̀͗͐̿͘͠s̶̡͓̺̜̬̼̪͕͗̈͂̐̉͐̏̏́̀͒â̸̡̛͔̩̥͉̬̺̏̎̈́̊̐͂͌̈̇͌͒͂ͅy̶̡̗͎̱͓̦̫͙͕̺̍̿͒̒̅̕ḣ̵̯̀ḙ̸̢̛̺̝̝̎̆̄͛̾̋͝͝͝ͅh̵̜̩̤͕̖͕̺̔̎͂͌̈́k̵̙̙̻̺̮͇͉̞̋̊͝m̶̧̛̩̞̬̮̰͖̰̞̃̔̐́͋̄̍͂̋̂͒̍̈͜a̷̬̓̐̉̊̇̄̒͂̑͛c̵͙̭̰̞̻̗̯͇̦͒̈́̄̈́͆͜c̴̳̖͂̾͌.̷̤̔̒̈́̇̓͗̎̅̈́̅̅̓͘

  ”U—Uhm, [Name]...?” Bertolt timidly asks, gulping. [name]'s stare was lost— as if he was lost in the wonders of his mind, finally giving in into his wonderland. The taller wondered if the question was wrong to ask— after all, titans were a sensitive subject for some comrades. 

[Name] just blinks, staring at Bertolt. He finally hums, laying on the ground and turning his back on them. “I’m sleepy. Good night.”

”[Name]! But we haven’t finished talking!!” Reiner whines, but there’s no response. It seems [name] fell asleep as soon as his head rested on the ground, or maybe he refused to answer more of the interrogation, “unbelievable. How can you fall asleep so easily? I wanted to ask more...”

After falling in silence, the two remaining look at each other without saying a word. Their connection and bond is already deeply formed, as a look exchange communicate whatever they want to say.

[Name] is someone much different than them— he may appear just like them, but those eyes... those memories he has locked deep inside his wonderland... those actions, defined who he was going to be in the future. What was he going to face along with them— a future no one wanted, but was necessary to happen. Actions nobody wanted, but were destined by fate to get done.

The rain fills the silence, drifting them to sleep.

  T̴͉̤̬̝̃̄̅͐͜͜h̷̡̳̓̓̽e̷̛̛̹͖̜͈͕̾ỹ̸̧̌̔̍͑̅̇̆ ̶̧͍̙̣͚͚̟̙͇͠x̷̡̛͎̓̔̄͑̕͝ͅx̸̧̪̪͉̜̅̊̅̍́̕͜x̷͓̻̬̺̄͆̈́̐ ̸̨͖̝̗͆̾͛̌j̶̢̨̛͈̫͔̞̭͉͐̎̎͂̉̐̈́͋!̴̭̯̐͌#̵̝̫͉͇̰̦͈̝̇ͅ$̶̧̘̠̥̑̍̂̈͝ ̴̫̖̻̦͍͌͘̕c̴̡̬̯̻̦͚̠̯͗̈́̑̽̒́h̶̞͂͐̎̈́̍͠i̴̱͎͈̱̋l̴̯̽̎̉̒̈d̵̻̈́̾̑͛͆͠ŗ̸͔̪̖͒̿͋̊́̇̈́̇ḛ̵̝̪̄͊̐̽̅͊̕n̴̤̰͍̜͓̫͌͂̕ͅ!̷̡͔̍́̽̿͂̈́͌

x̴̡̓̋́̑̔͒̀͘͝x̷̨̹̫̳̗̙͈̠͚̿̏x̶͙̓̚͝͝͠ ̷̬͚͖̒͒̀ṭ̸̨̲̳̤͌͠!̴̻̲̯̠̘̪̩̈́͑̋͘͝͝0̸̧͉̤̞͊̽̈̓́͆̃̌́2̴̛̗͔̰̃̇̎̾̓ ̴̡̨̘̻̭̞̯͕̀̍̈͗͗͌̚͝w̷̫͎̯̫̌́́̃̽̉͒̾͌è̴̘̤͈̫̻͎̄̃ ̴̙̣̙̭̫̄̌̍̈́#̷̡̙̼̈́͆̈́ͅ!̴̡̬̣̜̜͚͐͗̋̍̂0̵̛̯̰̹̰̯̄̏̉̀͝e̴̲̙͒͑́͝ ̵̡̻̘̣̝̙͎̇͐̍́͑͆̓͑͋͜a̴̫͉͉̟̼̮̙̿͐̊ ̸̛̛͙̹̜̳̣͔̝̞͐̽̂͛̽͘͜ć̸̹͇͔̼̜̮̥̤h̴̛̤̄̂ǫ̶̨̼̗̮̔͑̓̉̚ï̷̧̪̹͂c̶̗͆̓͌͑ḛ̴͗̒̐̽͘̕ͅ?̴̥͇̳̘̗̩̲̇̒!̶̲̣̯̰̙̈́̇̋̈́͛

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

“There should be a flag around,” Reiner spoke, looking at both sides. They were already awake and ready for the day— it would be a long one, so they had to be prepared. Waking [name] was the hardest thing in the morning— Bertolt was easy to handle, thankfully. Nevertheless, [name] looked like he was in a deep slumber— an unconscious state that nobody knew how long would he be in if let alone. One of these days it could be a nice experiment to see how much he could sleep.

“You seem well prepared,” [Name] stated, noticing how independent and useful Reiner could be by himself. He seemed capable of doing anything— alone or with someone. It looked like he already went into some training before enlisting.

“What does that mean?” the blond raised an eyebrow, amused by the observation. He knew [name] was someone blunt and spoke his mind, so hearing his thoughts about him interested him.

”I can see you can do anything— are you going to the Military Police?”

”I’m that obvious?” Reiner chuckles.

”Not really. But it looks like you don’t have a hard time with anything, and many others want to get into the top ten,” he tilts his head, "I think everyone want to, so I guessed it..."

”Well, if it’s with you of course I will have a hard time,”

”And with Annie,” Bertolt interjected, holding his laugh.

"And, with Annie," Reiner roll his eyes, "that's my goal for now— just want to be... safe, working with the King. That's all. Hope you don't get bothered like Eren does."

"I don't judge," [name] speaks, "you can do whatever you want— Eren... is an idiot for telling others they are cowards for joining the other branches. Why would you fight something you don't want to? It's your life, so you are the one deciding. Not some ball of anger with spiky hair yelling like a crazy idiot..."

"Damn, that was something," the blond laughs, "ball of anger? haven't heard that before."

"But he's my friend, even when he's wrong sometimes," he looks at the sky, "have to make him don't forget where he is..."

The blond stares at him. The last sentence almost made him laugh— who guided who? He couldn't deny the strange friendship these two had; at first, it seemed as if Eren despised him by the amount of glares he sent to him. Then, something had to happen, since he saw the two sleeping together one night. He didn't strike Eren as someone needy, but Reiner noticed certain actions and expression only appeared when being with [name]. It was as if those actions were only for the privilege of [name]; things as holding hands, stare at his sleeping form, not shouting as loudly as he did... staring at him as if he was the most precious thing in the world... 

Reiner could understand Jean's jealously at Eren, since it was obvious how the horse-face acted around the amnesiac boy. If Reiner was honest, [name] was... someone interesting to be around, and knowing him more was something Reiner wanted to achieve. After all, making him flustered was one of his weird goals too— [name] never flustered, nor looked embarrassed. That, was something Reiner was going to change.

"Ah— I see the flag!" Bertolt interrupts, pointing at his left from behind his two companions. Both of them instantly turn their heads to confirm, and indeed, there was a red flag proudly standing in middle of the forest, intact.

"Good eye, Bert! Almost got away without it," Reiner begins to walk to the direction of the flag, "hope this is over with today! The rain did make me more tired, so—"

As Reiner talked, [name] deeply frowned. Just as that time, he heard something— heavy steps along with grunting. It obviously wasn't a person, so his conclusion was that it was a creature of the forest. Perhaps they went out of bounds here, stepping in a territory they didn't belong. It was far but it was coming closer— [name] stayed frozen as he stared at where he was hearing the thing, while Bertolt, far behind him, looked at him in confusion.

"Hmn...? [name]...?" Bertolt wondered, worried. 

"Wait!" 

[name] eyes widened— it sounded big. As fast and quietly as he could, he ran where Reiner was. “Get down!” He pushed Reiner down with him, both of them harshly falling on the ground. [Name] gritted his teeth as he felt Reiner’s body over him, and the blond shifted his position by placing his two arms at both sides of [Name]. Without [Name] knowing, the blond did have a tint of scarlet on his face. The amnesiac laid on his back, patting a little bit. Reiner averted looking at his exposed neck, trying to think about something else. There was an open area above, in the trees, letting the rays of the sun hit [name]'s body.

”So cute... adorable, even. Is this what a god looks like?”

Thankfully they were in the middle of the woods, where a lot of plants and bushes were a good hide place. [name] aimed to fall into bushes, a decent yet fast place to not get caught. “Don’t move or talk,” he whispered, covering Reiner's mouth with his hand.

This time both of them heard it— heavy steps approaching where the flag was. Time seemed to freeze as a deep grunt was heard, and it's cause came into view. At first glance it could be said it was a bear, but such... dark face and huge body said otherwise. It had black fur, and a red eye— his left eye was scarred, adding more terror into it's appearance. It's face was almost skeletal; long nails, broken horns? no tail... what the hell is that?

Reiner tried to get something out of his backpack— but the minimal movement made the creature alarmed.

The bear? stopped it’s tracks— it seemed it was smelling something. [name] took Reiner's arm tightly, not knowing what else to do. He hoped Bertolt was away from here— he couldn’t hear him anyway.

"We should do something against this bear— how can we get away?" [name] tried to whisper as lowly as he could, not even hearing himself.

“That ain’t a goddamn bear!” Reiner harshly whispered, scared to the bone.

Unfortunately for them, the bear had as excellent hearing as [name]. The creature turned at where they were, grunting lowly as it quickly approached the area.

Oh, FUCK!

”Damn— Run!” [Name] helped Reiner get up and started running. Whatever that thing was was fast and it was just on their toes— none of them dared to turn around to see it’s terrifying stare. The only way they knew that thing was behind was because of it’s grunt sounds— as if someone was breathing right over their ear.

”Any ideas?!” Reiner yelled, not daring to turn around.

”You think I have one?!” There was no plan— the only thing [Name] could think of was running as fast as he could. Good thing to not have their equipment this time around— it could have been a fast way to end this situation, but they had nothing on them that could help. 

“[Name]! If that thing gets to us we are dead!”

”Really?! Is that obvious?!”

”There’s no time for you being sarcastic!”

”Then don’t state the obvious, Reiner!”

They knew running wasn’t going to work forever. Eventually tiredness will overcome them and then they will get in trouble. [Name] had no idea what to do; if they took at least one second to do something else then that thing would get to one of them and surely die by being eaten alive. That didn’t sound pretty at all.

There was no other way— someone had to be the bait.

Reiner gripped his hand, eyeing it cryptically. “Okay, [Name]— I need you to—“

”I will run with it,” [Name] tried to speak between breaks, “I’m faster than you; I will lost it somewhere far away.”

Reiner blinked, dumbfounded. Trying to process such absurd words, the blond’s eye twitched in irritation, desperation and fear: he couldn’t help but scream. ”What the hell are you saying?! You can’t lose this shit anywhere! Look how close it is, for god sake!” The plan sounded stupid and worthless— it didn't solve nothing at all. If only Reiner got alone, then maybe [name] wouldn't get hurt.

”You think I don’t see it?!” The [hair color] haired yelled irritated, taking his backpack and throwing it carelessly to the creature’s head, successfully angering the creature by hearing a grunt, or whatever it was sent to him. “We’ll find each other somehow! Look for Bertolt!”

And with a last look, [Name] changed directions as quick as he could. He ran trough the woods, ignoring Reiner’s yells calling for him in desperation. His mind was going overdrive— he didn’t have a clue on what to exactly do against the scary creature.

Until he didn’t pay attention and his foot step on the weak ground, losing his balance and falling on some cliff. He tried to get a grip on anything, but he only hurt his fingers in the process. Nothing could be done as he fell over a small hill, until some bushes helped his fall at least a little bit. [Name] looked up, meeting the red eye of the creature who stated at him chillingly— the boy couldn’t ignore the chills on his spine, but eventually they broke connection when the thing turned and left, leaving [Name] alone in the forest as if he was unworthy of being eaten by it.

Breathing erratically, [Name] rested his head on the bushes, closing his eyes. “What the... hell...” His whole body hurt— his right foot, his left side (maybe bruised ribs?), his throat burned and he was sure there were many cuts and scratches all around his body. “How... unlucky...”

Laying there, [Name] changed his position to stare at the sky. It was orange, signaling noontime. He didn’t know how much time he was running from the thing, but it felt a good three hours.

He got up, and then he froze as he understood the situation he was in.

There was no backpack; so no supplies.

No map.

No food nor water.

No nothing.

He felt a laugh resonating at the back of his head; making fun of his situation— a laugh sounding so far yet just over his ear, as if someone was just behind him.

He remembered Jean’s words when something didn’t go as planned, or when he was stuck in a shitty situation—

“I’m fucked.”

  Y̴̢̦̫̞̦͔̅̾͋̄͗̊e̸͙̘̭̝̩̦̣͌̆̿̋̾͊̋͌̉͐̕̕͘ş̶̖͕̫̗͙̳͔̥̤̙͖̗̰̫̔͑̄̅̆͂̕̚͝ ̵̲̠̟̦͕̙̥̲̲̥̜̞͊͋̓͋̐̈̂̈̈́̑͋̈̕̕ỵ̶̖͈̱̝̯̳̞͈͍̼̯̟̆̐̄́̎̏ő̸̢̧̟̭͔̮̱͔͖̪̞̙̮̈́̾̚͜ȕ̷͎̤̱̱̬̻͛͂̇̈́̐̈́͝ͅ ̵̢̛̤̹͔̰͙̙͈̰̙̳͎̮̽̈̓͗̔̄̑͘a̴̢̪͍̫̫͔̹̫̱̹̩̓̃̒̊́͋̈͜ŗ̴̬̘̣̬̗̻̩͗̒̊̍͋͐͛̓̈͆̈́͘ͅë̸̛̛̙̥̤̥̯̰͇̬̰̑̓͗̊͐̆̂̋͝.̵͖̰̲͍̲̱̠͙̭͈̒̂̋̋̆͌̓̕

♛

e m p t y / 13

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter twelve

someone else

"[Name]! Wake up already!" Eren’s voice is the first thing [Name] hears, right on his ear. His friend moves him and pushes him around, trying to wake him up. The sleepy boy only gets irritated by the harsh movement, punching the brunette away from him. “H–Hey! That hurt!”

”Go away,” is the only thing [Name] can say before hiding his face on his pillow and sleep again. Unfortunately for him, his friend doesn’t give up. Eren tightens his hold on [Name]’s shirt and makes him sit by force, making the sleepy boy a little dizzy by the sudden movement.

”There you go!” He grins, “Marco advised me to lay your clothes here, so hurry and change! I’ll be right back.” He stands in the same spot, looking at [Name]’s cute sleepy state for some time before leaving.

The [hair color] haired is not awake, clearly. His eyes close and open every second, and he can’t sit still. Luckily, all the noise around of everyone talking, yelling makes him not fall asleep again.

[Name] undresses so lazily it almost looks like hes doing it asleep— almost even falling. Somehow he gets poorly dressed, and doesn't even try to tighten the straps around his legs correctly. His hair is a mess, his shirt is a mess, he’s drooling and he’s almost going to fall asleep again. But luckily, a blond passing trough sees his trouble.

"Need help?" [Name] slowly tilts his head and looks at him, trying to recognize him. Reiner can notice he is half-asleep still, and he can't stop a chuckle from seeing his sleepy state. "Damn, I think you are worse than Bertolt."

[Name] just stares a the blond kneeling and tightening his straps, "is as if... they don't want me to wake up,” he says in a whisper, yawning without care.

Blinking, Reiner stops his actions to understand what he means.  What he said came out of nowhere, and it was a couple of seconds what Reiner needed to understand. "They...?"

The [hair color] haired blinks, "I dreamed something important... but I forgot about it...”

[Name] stands up as he sees the blond finished, but Reiner can see his buttoned shirt is horribly done. "Here, you didn't button them right." The blond’s hands brushes against [Name]’s naked skin, making him flinch. The touch makes the taller teenager blush, but fortunately what happened before in training changed his semblance to change the topic, "ah, about what you said before..."

[Name] blinked, slightly tilting his head. "what?"

The blond blinks blankly, his mouth gaping. "In the forest, when we were doing our first practice with the gear," Reiner explains, "don't you remember?"

[Name] rubs his left eye without much care, "I didn't say anything— I just left...?"

"But you said—" He blinks, not fully believing him. But seeing [name]'s clueless expression makes him not say anything and leave things be, "...I guess I just imagined it, uh? It's nothing, then."

"If you say so." [Name] notices Reiner’s hands were frozen buttoning his shirt, and just stares at him curiously. “Are you alright?”

”Uh— yeah, sure. I was just...” he shows a grin, “trying not to lose my mind.”

”Uh?” [Name] takes Reiner’s left hand, seeing a small cut, “what’s this?”

The tall boy had to blink a couple of times to remember. ”Got a little trouble getting the hang of the gear. Nothing to worry about— or are you my cute nurse?” The blond tried to play it off— to try and have an embarrassing reaction out of [Name]. He expected the boy to yell at him or embarrass him— but what he got made him feel shy.

[Name] took his hand and kissed the small cut with his soft lips— as they were besides a window, the rays of the sun hit his gentle face, his hair... he seemed like a divinity— with those exotic eyes only Reiner could see with that spark, along with that kind smile; an expression so gentle Reiner thought [Name] never wore before.

”My mom told me kisses were a great medicine. Hope it works.” He rubs his hand gently, before letting go.

The taller teenager coughs, trying to hide his blush behind his hand. His eyes traveled around the barracks, being sure there were no prying eyes in their situation. “Well, well, I don’t have to worry anymore about my mistakes, then. I know where to go when I get injured.”

[Name] tilts his head. ”Did it work?”

”Of course it did— see? It seems to fade away.”

”[Name]!!!” Eren’s loud voice is heard coming near, but seeing the close proximity of the two stops with a suspicious glare, “ah? What’s up?”

”Reiner was helping me with my shirt— I’m too sleepy.” [Name] spoke with a big yawn, blinking lazily at his childhood friend.

The brunette frowns, not pleased by that answer. ”If you needed help why didn’t you tell me?!”

”I don’t know where you were. Reiner was nearer.” [Name] glared at Eren, who shut up seeing his harsh gaze. The blond clearly noticed the dominance, pretty surprised [Name] could have such effect on Eren. Reiner smirked.

”What’s this? Are you two together or something? Eren, you look like the clingy boyfriend in the relationship."

[Name] blinks, unsure of what he means. ”Together...?”

”Ah?! What’s with that?!” Eren blushed, clinching his fist, "that's none of your business, Reiner!"

"What? Man, I hoped after I helped you I would be given at least a little of gratitude."

"What if we are, uh?! Is that a problem!!!"

"Wow there, I didn't expect you to actually saying something like that," the blond laughs amused, “well, I can't say [Name] isn't cute, because he is." He plays with [Name]'s messy hair with a smirk, the other just watching the two with a confused stare.

"Hey! What are you getting at!?" The brunette frowns with the action— he didn't know why, but just seeing Reiner touching [Name] so carelessly touched a nerve.

[Name] dozed off, trying not to hear their voices anymore. The only thing he wants is to sleep— he doesn’t want to do anything else. Just thinking about another practice makes him whine. He misses his days with his mom.

Slowly and without the notice of the two, [Name] closed his eyes, still sitting on the bed awkwardly. His slow breathing and tiredness allows him to fall asleep so quickly, and it’s a miracle he sits still on the bed without falling.

”Come on– tell me! Has anybody ever kissed him?”

”Of course not!! Right, [Name]?!” Eren turns to get an answer, but his frown changes into confusion as he sees [Name]’s state. “[Name]?”

The blond catches his state too, noticing his sleeping state, “well, somebody will have to kiss the prince out of his curse.”

Eren glared at Reiner.

 ___________________

 ”I can fucking believe this— no way. Fuck Eren AND Reiner?! Really?!”

”Uh... Are you alright?” The freckled boy chuckles nervously, seeing his friend’s anger showing. "You seem... pretty angry...?"

Surprisingly, [Name] training hand in hand combat was much easier since the beginning. As his first practice with the ODM was a failure, plenty of his friends thought he wasn't that qualified at first. But Armin, Eren, Mikasa and Jean knew otherwise.

Unfortunately the way his new friends knew about it was with a good beating Reiner received.

"I'm going to be easy on you, [Name]. Does it sounds good?” Reiner smirked, passing the wooden knife to his hands. Seeing [Name]’s attitude and how lazy he was today, he decided to not be too harsh on him.

[Name] couldn’t care less about his kindness. He already liked this training — even if it didn’t even counted for their ranking, it wasn’t much trouble. Reiner could be bigger, but that didn’t matter. "If you are that considerate.”

When it came to fight, [Name] didn't even think how, he just did it. It was as if his body was being controlled by someone else— he just let his thought at ease and go with the flow. It was weird, but the boy often thought that was his older self waking up, if that made sense.

  Ṱ̴̨̱̙͖̠͖͙̣̲̫͂ͅXi̵̢̨̘͈̦͇͎͔͕̤̦͐̆͊ͅ!ş̴̖̰̩̯͋͛̓̀̂͌̑̂͒̇̕ ̷̛̮͓̙̹̪̮͎̈̋̆̐̿͑x$ë̵̢͎̻̞̬̣͔́̍̐̏͗͌͗̒̚͠͝ͅ ̶̡̟̺̍͐̊̈́̍̋̚ͅd̵͇̾͂͆͆́̔͊̏͋̉̌̒̚̕ę̵̛̰̲̣̋̍̽̔͆̽̋̑̆͌͘̕ͅs̶̥͈̈͑̇̐̔̓̚ẽ̷͚̄̋͊̌̊̅͝ͅr̵̳̙͔̳̅̏̓͒v̶̛̜̈e̵̳̹͍̽̄̒̈͌͌̓̋͑̄̃̔͆͊̀ş̶͔̤̹̬̽͋̾̒̂̇͑̈́ ̷͚̤͔̲͔̞͇͙̖̼̈̈̓ä̸̠̳̯́̆̈̊̓̏͒̔̈́̀́͗̉͝ ̸̧͙͍̫̖͍̖̖̟̖̺̰̞͕̅͂̌͐̋̾̇͐̃̽b̵̧̭͚̬̗͈̲͖̤͈̤͙̪͕̈́̔͊̑̀͝͠ͅe̴̞̫̫̾̍̐̊̈́͒̉̔̎̌͜͜͠͝ä̶̧̡̨͚͙͇̖̤̝͎̖̼̝͑͌͆̉̄͗͌ţ̵̢̛̣̣̗͉̜̤̦̼̼̯͌̆͐̃͋͐̽̃̄͂̈́̕̕͝ỉ̷̡̢̛͈͖̝̻͍͖̦͂̋̉̈́̆̿̄̚ṋ̶̺̤̮̬̫͔͖̏̽̃g̵̡̟̦͍̯̳̺͓͋̆̇̽̈́͠.̸̲̝̻̞̻̤̯̆̈́͂̈̔̀͒̍̆̈́͝ ̸̢̧̭̬̙̜̫̭͈̂̏̈͗̑͛̋̓̌͐̋̒͝L̷̡͖͗̓̇͐͊̓́̂͑͒̅̚̕͝e̴̺̻̮̞͐̇̈́̋̃̽͝t̸̨̥̩͚̟̊̑ ̷̡͕̰͉͎͎̝̠̹̳͕͇̓̎͊̏͠ͅḿ̸̢̲̫̺̙̀͑̑̔͆͐̿͋̃̋̂̈́̃̍ȩ̵̩͕̺̗̲̤̯͖̖̗̼͎̹̈̎ ̴͈̼͕̻̝͚͌͆̿̍̉͗̓͘͝ḧ̷͎̖͙̝́̅̃͗̓̂͜a̴̡̡̨͖̬̱̝̟̓́̌͐͛͛͝n̷̟̪̩͖̊̃d̸̡̡̻̘͎̰͍͈͌́̓̇̿̓̆̾̄̓̅͒̕ļ̷̨͙͇̮̩̮̆ͅę̸̧̡̰̟̭̺̙͙̹̞͚͉̈́̐́̚ͅ ̶̛͓̽̌̉̒̂̎̾͌̏̿̈͝i̵̡̫̳̭̟͚̰̖͔͠t̸̻͚̣̺͍̗̻͈̣̳͓̬̍̈͌̈́̈́̑̌̃̑͆̋͆́͝.̵̹͍̻̳̝͚̱͗̀̊̎̓̿͗͠

 The blond charged forward, trying to fake stabbing [Name] in the stomach without much plan. [Name] immediately hugged the arm with the knife, turning his back on Reiner and without much trouble throwing the blond’s body on the ground harshly. He took Reiner’s arm and placed his boot on his back, and just pulling a little he could hear the blond’s whimpers and defeat statements.

”Okay, okay! That’s what I get for being considerate?!”

”Yes,” he let go off his arm, helping him stand and dusting him off. “What if you take this more seriously from now?”

Reiner, who carefully looked at [Name], realized he did know about how to fight. Stretching, he smirked, feeling confident. “Alright then, I  guess I stop playing nice. But don’t cry and yell about getting a chance, uh?”

”I can say the same for you.” [Name] smirked.

Every time Reiner tried to attack [Name], it was a failure. The amnesiac never received damage— in fact, he noticed he reflected it, if that made sense. For example, Reiner tried to throw a punch, but [Name] always was a step ahead of him— he denied the hit by changing it’s direction with his wrist or his fist, not receiving the damage but evading it. It was the first time Reiner saw a technique like that.

Unfortunately for him, he got his ass kicked every round. [Name] didn’t seem to forget their promise about not giving chances, and even Reiner could say the lazy cadet was enjoying his defeat. [Name] didn’t even seemed to be tired after the many rounds they had, but maybe it was because Reiner was the one always getting his ass kicked.

 ______________

Armin watched in amazement, forgetting his own practice with Bertolt, "that's different when we were kids..."

The taller blinked, his eyes catching Reiner’s practice. The blond was face-planted on the ground, trying to get free from [Name]’s hold. "Uh? How so?"

The petite looks intently, choosing his words. "[Name] was... much harder before. But I guess that was because we were children and didn't know better," it was true— or maybe it was  because the victims of his attacks where Armin’s bullies, and [Name] hated them a lot, "even so, he doesn't look too much aggressive now."

"Harder...?" The taller can see [Name] is not holding back— or maybe Reiner is exaggerating? Nevertheless, [Name]’s technique looks clean and very defensive-like.

"Ah. He broke one's kid nose one time. Oh! and also, he made throw up another kid too and made him eat it.” Armin answered without trouble, not caring that much about how horrible that must have sounded.

Beetolt’s eyes widened, a little horrified by the brutality. [Name] didn’t look... as harsh as that. His past thoughts about imagining him as a kitten was now gone. He couldn’t properly imagine him in a scenario like that, but with Reiner easily being handled to the ground made him think it was possible. "Just... how much force did he have...?"

"A lot,” Armin chuckles a little, “Eren fought with him a lot and well... he can tell you how much it hurt, hehe..."

  ____________________

"W-Wait, [Name]! I surrender! I SURRENDER!"

"But this was just the beginning..." [Name] says with a pout, twisting Reiner's arm, "does it hurt?"

"Of course it does! I didn't think you would have this much force!”

"A kiss can make it better, if you want." He hugs the arm, rubbing his face on it while looking at Reiner with a twisted stare and a sick smile. The blonde can help but to gulp and blush by such hard look— he almost looked at him with playfulness. His eyes were so much different— Reiner felt he was looking at someone else. Now that he noticed, [Name]'s eyes had changed into a different color— but just as he was carefully looking at them [Name] blinked, as if he was waking from a daze. "Ah, sorry, Reiner," he lets go of the blond's arm, helping him stand with a much different manner.

”Did I hurt you?” [Name] asks, frowning as he passed a hand over his temples.

The blond blinks, trying to connect the dots of the unusual behavior. This was just like yesterday in the forest— that weird glint in his eyes... as if he wasn't [Name] no more. ”Uh, no, it’s fine.”

”Should I kiss it?”

Reiner laughs, trying to have fun, “now that I think about it... I think I got a bruise right here...” he points his cheek, and [Name] can see a scratch. Unbothered, [Name] pecks it, standing on his tiptoes. Reiner smirks, catching the glare both Jean and Eren gave in the distance.

The blond sees Annie passing with a bored look on her face trough the training grounds. [Name] waves at her with a ‘hi Annie’.

Reiner got an idea. “Annie! Good to see you again doing absolutely nothing!”

”Hmn? I see you want another round, Reiner.” Annie spoke with her cold voice, glaring at the taller as she got nearer.

”Not me! I heard [Name] saying he wanted to try you!” He places his hand on [Name]’s shoulders, making him closer to the girl as he hides behind him.

”...?” [Name] looks at him in confusion, knowing very well he didn’t say anything related to that.

”is that so?” The cold girl didn’t even waited for a confirmation— she just went straight to business. She had shifted in her fight stance.

Well, this didn’t sound so bad. [Name] blinked, hearing Reiner saying good luck as he left his side.

  F̸̛͔̰̕i̶̲͔̩̥͔̫̭̗̯̼̓́̒̿̓̊̿͗͘n̶̝̪̯̳̮̼̿̀̒͑̂̔̕͜ͅa̷̫͒́͑̌̈͘̕͝l̷̤̽̉̈́͗̽̄̔̍͘l̸̛͈̍̎͆̽̏͊̎̓̚͘͠y̸̢̼͙̜̠̬̘̘̟̲̮̫̟͍̏̇͋̔͂̀͐̏͆͒̐̊͐͝ ̶̛̳͓̩̱͒͊̉̊̉̿̾͆̾̍̌͝s̴̺̳̻͍̮͈̈́͘͜ȯ̷̧̠̹̝̩͍̹́m̵̢̯̱͍̬̰̘͕̝̆̽̾̓͑̔̕͝ě̶̖͔̘̙̙̾͐̕͜͝o̸̢͉̾̈̅̌̈́́́͋̏̓̿̂̂͗͠n̵̡̡̙̪͇̲͕̙̖̩̯͓̳̘̬̈̍̑̂e̷̡̛̼̹͚̼͕͉̪͆͂̊͊̆̈́̇̈̓̾̌͋̐̕ ̸̢͚̤͙̳͈̌̃̓̍̈́̏̀̏̀̎̋͗͜͝ͅc̶̢̺͚͚̗͔̤̓͂̾͊̒̀̈̐́å̴̡̢̲̫̥͙͕͎̫̯̬̰̱͚͛̊̊̎̔̃̔p̸̛̣̝͉̞̤̙̫̪͔̺͖̤̳̭̔͐̿̓͌͐̐̾̍̃̚ͅá̷̝͎̻̄b̸̛͉͉̼͖̰͊̚ḷ̵̨̮̹̝̈̑͑͗͐̑̚ě̶̡̨̨̙͍͉͇͎͚̞̗̹̀̅̋͂͊͜.̵̡̦͚̠͖́͋̊̇͛́̏͊͜

 [Name] shifted in his own, carefully looking at her. It somehow was clear to him she went all way in— her stance gave it away.

How come I know that?

The blonde girl moved first, lifting her leg to kick him. [Name] backed away quickly, missing the attack by inches. He doesn’t have to wait for the upcoming move— Annie throws a punch, [Name] deflects it with his wrist, switching the hit’s target. Seeing the opportunity, she quickly takes his elbow and harshly pushes the side of his face. [Name] knows her next move, and as just as he’s falling by the kick, he supports himself with his arm and gives a kick at the side of her ankles, making her almost trip. That’s enough time to allow him stand up again.

Annie returned to her stance, and just as in the beginning, tried to kick him— but this time [Name] saw it as an opening. This time he didn’t need to back off— he lowered his body just under her leg just in time, at the same time he threw a kick at the side of her knee. The attack had forced her to fall, by the surprise of everyone and her’s included. 

Watching her first was a good choice. That kick had to be timed right seeing Annie’s speed— one second less and his head would have been in a much worse state. [Name] couldn't explain his own reflexes and instincts guiding him— but it paid off nevertheless.

Something changed. Annie thoughts.

[Name]? throws the forgotten knife, stabbing it at the side of her head in the ground. There’s a cryptic glint on [Name]’s? eyes, along with a playful smile. He speaks in a different tone, clearly enjoying his victory. “You are dead.”

Annie gets up with a glare specially for him. Taking the knife, the cold girl tries to get her arms around his neck to make him fall, but [Name]? gets his arms under her to push her, effectively throwing her back. She doesn’t fall, but gets more aggressive in her attempts. She gives another quick kick, but [Name]? ducks and throws another kick against her leg, making her fall much harder onto the ground this time. He has a grin on his face, “twice.”

It’s clear Annie is irritated about his playful behavior— why is he smiling like that? Nevertheless about it, the blonde can actually say this was a nice fight for once. 

She sees how [Name] places a hand on his temples, rubbing them with his eyes tightly shut. Annie carefully looks at him as she stands up, dusting herself off. The amnesiac slowly opens his eyes, looking at her with much different eyes.

”Hope we can do it another time,” His voice is different, she notices. Narrowing her cold eyes, she can tell something is different about him— the near description she could tell was as if he became someone else entirely.

 She looks at [Name] then at Reiner, who was looking at the whole fight with careful eyes. She changes her gaze at [Name] again, shrugging her shoulders, “sure.”

Before she could leave tough, Annie turns to Reiner, ”Now, Reiner, I heard [Name] say you wanted another round.”

The blond instantly freezes in fright, not wanting to relieve that defeat. ”What?! That’s a lie!”

”[Name] doesn’t tell lies.”

Reiner was once again getting his ass kicked. [Name] couldn’t hold his laughter by seeing such absurd posture.

 ”What the hell is everyone doing?! Get back to training!” The instructor shouted, “change partners now that you are at it!”

 Neither of [Name] nor Jean took attention when they exchanged partners— just as they saw each other was when things got awkward.

”Hi, Jean,” [Name] was unsure on how to approach— he wasn’t good at fixing things. Even worse when he didn’t know what he  did wrong.

”...Hey,” Jean responded with a sigh, playing with the wooden knife. His face showed everything he was feeling— it was awkward, even more with the silence behind them.

Neither did anything else but evade seeing each other, but the amnesiac boy didn't want things to go like this. If he didn't know what he did wrong, then the only thing he could do was ask. Jean was angry for something he did— he realized that.

With a soft and curious tone, [name] looking at Jean a little timid, "did I do something wrong yesterday?"

He noticed Jean tightened his grip on the knife. Sighed exasperatedly, Jean still didn't look at him as he would wanted, but at least [name] got a motive of his anger. ”You can’t just... kiss everybody like nothing happens!”

So that was the problem? [Name]'s shyness went away when hearing such... motive. In fact, he was a little irritated by the reason. ”Why not?”

”Because—“ because what? It was wrong viewed? People would call him names? Would they think something else? Why was it wrong? He knew [Name] and him didn't had the same thoughts or opinions of things, but [name] should know kissing everybody wasn't something he should be doing. “Because a kiss means a lot to people— you can’t kiss everybody as a ‘friend’— that's not how it works.”

[Name] tilts his head. ”How come a kiss has one meaning?”

”Don’t get philosophical with me,” Jean said with a frown, “if you keep kissing everyone in public people will look at you being a weirdo, so don’t.”

”A weirdo...? But neither Reiner nor Eren tell me it’s weird...” He places his finger on his lips, wondering.

Sighing exasperated, Jean’s left eye twitched in annoyance by such statement, “because they are some dumbasses that—“ he stops himself there, “—they are weirdos, specially Eren.”

”How come?”

”He just is!”

“But Jean, no one has told me they don't like it. What do you mean?”

”That’s why I’m telling you before they do!” he rubs his temples, "they could be thinking for more, jeez!"

”Me kissing you makes you angry...?” [Name] unconsciously touched his lips, a frown showing.

Jean's confidence flatters, getting taken aback from the question. ”Yes— No— I mean—!” He sighed, “I don’t hate them. I...” he looks at the side,  blushing, “like them, okay?!” It's not that he hated them— he secretly loved them, but it was a thought nobody would know about. He could have [name] know, but since he didn't feel the same thing Jean felt for him, that was out of the question.

”Then why do you punch me away?”

“I told you– the others can see and look at us weird!”

”Do you care that much about what others think...?” [Name] wondered. He didn’t think about others opinions about him or what he did— he just... did everything he wanted without much thought. Was it wrong? Nothing had happened to him so far...

“It’s not that— ugh...” he sighs, “you are too careless. I’m telling you this right now: not everyone deserves to be kissed. You don’t know who is a weirdo. Imagine if someone took advantage of you by asking for more!"

”Advantage...”

”Exactly. You don’t know when somebody will ask you more than a kiss, and I cannot let that happen.”

“Is asking for more that bad?”

Jean blushed a little. Did [Name] really know nothing about this topic? Was he this clueless? Beatrice had to explain at least something about this— the woman should’ve, right? He was a teenager, for godsake! And teenagers are always thinking about the same stuff at least once in their short lives! Didn’t [Name] ever think about that type of stuff...?

"[Name], you know... when we talked about that..!"

"Oh, that. That when you talk about it your face goes red. That kind of conversation, that," [name] tilted his head, "...I don't think much about it."

"O-Okay! How else I should react anyways?! Ugh—! Just-- you know what to do when you don't want to do something like that, do you? If you mistake other's people purpose—!"

"I know. I punch them in the face-- but I only kiss people I like, Jean. Like you," he stared in gentleness at Jean, who only blurred words came out of his mouth, red creeping his face by the sudden declarations. But before he could answer, Shadis approached menacingly, shouting at them with a dead glare.”What the hell are you two doing?! You are standing there like idiots! Get back into training before I make you clean the entire place!”

”Y—Yes sir!”

_____________

Eren didn’t look pleased when he told him he was going to sit with Jean and Marco. The brunette gave away his displeasure with a frown, speaking with an irritated tone to him. To not make things worse, Armin, as being the sweetheart he was, smiled at him and told him to not worry about it that much. Just for that he won a kiss on the nose, making Eren yell why he didn’t receive one.

Already at Jean’s table, everything was going smoothly. But, for some strange reason, Jean spoke so loudly out of nowhere— It was an evident change to [Name]’s ears, making the boy narrow his eyes at him in suspicion.

”By manipulating your inertia like that, you’ll be able to spend less gas than usual,” he bragged to Marco, moving his hands while he talked.

”You make it sound easy...”

”Well, I don’t think that’s something everyone can do, you know?” [Name] notices Jean glances at Eren’s table, and it’s then that the boy can understand Jean’s purpose, “tough there’s nothing to lose if you keep that in mind. Especially if you want to enlist to the Military Police.”

Marco smiles dreamily, “it would be nice if I could... There’s no greater honor than to be able to work under the king, don’t you think so, [Name]?”

To [Name], the king was a faceless man he couldn’t care less about— unfortunately, Beatrice had told him to mind his mouth when talking about the powerful man around other people. The amnesiac boy couldn’t understand Marco’s dream to work under such a man who tried to cage all of them for eternity, but what he could understand from his books about royalty novels was that working and protecting a good king who cared about his people was a great honor. And this king had none.

”Not really.” He answered quietly, taking a sip from his drink.

”Don’t lie and say what you really think, Marco,” Jean said, carelessly pushing Marco’s cup against him, making it spill on Marco’s face and shirt, “you just want to enlist so you can live an easy and powerful life inside the inner walls.” He smiled devilish at him, and [Name] couldn’t stop thinking how crazy he could look sometimes.

”T-That’s not true! I—“ before Marco could finish, Eren’s voice interrupted Jean’s little show.

”It’s pleasant within the inner walls? Five years ago, this was also part of the inner area.”

While the two discussed whatever monologue they had in mind, the [hair color] haired turned to his freckled friend. “Be careful where you point at,” [Name] spoke to Jean in an angry tone, gently grabbing Marco’s chin as he cleaned his face with a napkin. The act made the freckled boy blush, “you got some on your clothes...”

”U–Uhm! Thank you, [Name]!” Marco stuttered, not expecting such caring action. Such caring made him felt warm in his chest, and gulped a little seeing how close [Name] was from his face. Were his eyes this pretty...? Marco! What are you thinking!

For some reason [Name] didn’t think much about what he did— he left a peck on Marco’s nose without care, “I saw the cup hit you pretty hard. Your nose is red.”

The freckled boy immediately covered his nose, clearly embarrassed by the unusual action, “I–It’s better now! Thank you!”

As the two smiled at each other, Eren’s yell took their attention from each other to him. The two had already stood up for a fight, evident by their angry expressions and hostile actions towards each other.

”You piece of garbage!”

”Just face reality!”

Both of them took each others’ shirt, and [Name] couldn’t stop himself to look disappointed at such behavior— he thought Eren grew up from such anger, but it did seem little had changed. Did we look that foolish back then? They certainly look like that...

For some reason Eren glanced his way, noticing such discouraging eyes staring at him in disappointment. That made his stomach revolt uncomfortably, not liking one a bit seeing that towards him.  He had to show [Name] he wasn’t the same brat as before— he was much matured since then. The brunette exhaled, trying to cool off as he let go of Jean’s shirt.

Of course, Jean noticed where his eyes wandered to— and he couldn’t feel more furious than before. What? Was he trying to show off he could control himself for [Name]? Fuck that. He was even more annoyed when he noticed [Name] blinking in surprise by such ‘control’, looking relieved. Jean didn’t fall for such act.

Taking Eren’s shirt even more harshly, he yelled at him, “don’t screw with me, you bastard!”

”Ah?! Hey, let go! You’ll tear my shirt, you dumbass!”

”Who gives a damn about your clothes! I’m so jealous!”

”What the hell are you talking about?!” It seemed Eren wanted to keep yelling at him, but he stopped himself from doing so. Instead, he quickly placed a hand on Jean’s face, took his fore arm and kicked the back of his legs.

[Name] frowned as he saw Jean fall onto the hard ground, but thankfully he didn’t seem to hurt his head that bad. Nevertheless, he wanted to make sure he was okay, but he wanted to give them the space of whatever they were doing. Eren seemed to make a point of his surprise attack, and so the amnesiac just observed in worry as he stood quickly.

He saw Jean sit, rubbing the back of his head. As he yelled for an explanation of such action, surely receiving a response from Eren.

[Name] was preoccupied of Jean’s state, but as Marco could see his worry he tried to calm him down with taking his hand, “[Name], I’m sure Jean is alright— it did seem like a bad fall, but I don’t think it’s too serious.” He smiled.

”It did sound pretty loud...” he frowned, squeezing Marco’s hand as he saw his friend. The freckled boy blushed a little by the action, smiling nervously at himself. “They are both idiots, uh?”

As [Name] wanted to see any damage, Marco yanked him to his seat, bumping into him a little as everyone saw the door open just a crack to see the scary face of Shadis looking at them with anger? It was hard to say, but it looked like a demon was staring at them in the depths of the dark.

”I heard a loud noise now. Care to explain what it was?” He spoke with a deep voice, staring deadly at everyone. Of course, nobody answered until Mikasa broke the silence,

“Sasha farted, sir.”

”UH?!” The unlucky girl widened her eyes in confusion and embarrassment.

”So it was you again,” the instructor covered his nose, “learn some modesty,” he spoke before leaving.

[name] couldn’t stop a chuckle from coming out. It was pretty quiet and soft— in fact, Marco was the only one who noticed it. His face reddened, staring at [Name] with timid eyes. It was the first time he had laughed like this, after all. [Name] was a serene individual, so any other reaction than his serious stare was well welcomed.

Marco didn’t notice he had his arm around [Name]’s waist, but it was when his friend wanted to move when he returned to reality. Feeling embarrassed even more, the freckled boy apologized many times and quickly moved his arm.

[name] blinked, not sure what was happening. Thankfully, Jean was returning to their table with annoyance plastered all over his face. [Name] stood up, now it was a good time to ask him how he was, “Where did you get hurt?”

”It’s nothing. That jackass all there trying to look cool, damn...” he rubbed the back of his head, “fucking embarrassing...”

The amnesiac boy could see his irritation— he could understand it. Being throw like that in front of everyone was upsetting, but Jean got out of control for some strange reason. Sighing, [Name] stood on his tip toes and kissed Jean’s head with caring, “that was a bad fall.”

The action only made Jean more embarrassed than he already was. ”Hnshsksjs! What did I told you about giving kisses like this?!” Jean whispered harshly, looking everywhere to see the smirks and mocking faces some did as they saw the curious interaction.  He blushed in embarrassment, “Goddammit [Name]—!”

Blinking, the amnesiac tilted his head and pouted, taking some steps backwards. ”Sorry, I forgot. Are you mad?”

Jean saw the wory fave [Name] was making, instantly changing his own anger to a simple frown. Was he being too harsh? The leqst he wanted to was to put distance between their friendship. He sighed exasperated, “no, I’m not. I’m not mad, okay?! So stop looking at me like that.” He rubbed his face, “anyways, are you sleeping with that suicidal maniac or what?”

”Suicidal...? Eren?” He blinks, amused by such nickname, “I don’t think so. Why?”

”B—Because—“ because I want to. He wanted to say, but no words came out. Jean gritted his teeth, rubbing his neck in shyness. Why he couldn’t ask him like a normal question?

Oh, of course. Because he was asking the person he likes— not just an ordinary person.

Fortunately [Name] understood the silence. “Do you want me to be with you?” He whispered gently, aware of Jean’s embarrassment towards his actions.

The taller didn’t see [Name] straight in the eye. His eyes stare at the wall, while he nodded slowly, flustered. If Eren was all mighty sleeping with him, then why the hell he couldn’t? I have the same RIGHT!!! 

“Then can we go now? I’m pretty tired,” [Name] yawned, passing a hand trough his face. Today was a good day— but it was still tiring. He just wanted to get to bed and sleep all day. “In fact, I’m leaving whether you want or not.” He stated, already walking away.

”W—Wait! You can bump into doors if you walk with your eyes closed!!” Marco yelled worriedly, already knowing [Name]’s sleepy behavior by now. 

“You are such a dummy,” Jean says, walking calmly while Marco hurries to help [Name].

“I can tell your fights with Eren will be for long.” [Name] places his arm under the side of his face, blinking lazily at Jean. The two boys laid on Jean's bed, looking at each other as they talked. The lights were already turned off, but many others still talked under the darkness. 

Jean grits his teeth. “It’s not my fault he’s such an idiot trying to act all brave and shit. He just tries so badly to be seen as cool, the fucking maniac.”

[Name] blinks. “Fucking.”

Jean blinks, a mixture of surprise and embarrassment by hearing his friend cursing, ”...why did you say it?”

”You said it. Fucking. Fuck. Shit. Cu—“

Hastily covering his mouth with his hand, Jean sighs exasperated, “don’t say all of them, geez! What are you trying to say?!”

[Name] chuckles, “you have a bad mouth. These words are not on many books I’ve read— oh, I forgot suck my co—“

He covers it again with more force this time, “shut the hell up!” Jean whispers angrily, “you are such an idiot when you want to!”

[Name] takes Jean’s hand, placing it on their dad as he interlaced their fingers. “Just showing you how childish you look.”

”I don’t care. I bet he was the one making you believe on that crazy dream he has.” In fact, hearing Eren’s ideals and dreams did made him realize he was the one at fault to make [Name] join the Survey Corps. There wasn’t anything else, since both of them had been together for quite some time. No wonder that blond boy and the pretty girl wanted to join with him. “Fucking hell. Doesn’t he know other people will believe his bullshit?”

”It’s not bullshit,” [Name] speaks, “if he dreams about it, it’s not impossible. You dream to join the Military Police, even when we are more than 100 soldiers here.”

”That’s different— I want to be in top ten, not to eliminate all titans. That will never happen— if that hasn’t happen before, after 100 years, what will he change when he graduates? Fucking nothing.” Jean couldn't believe [Name] actually had faith in such a fever dream— exterminate all titans? If the Survey Corps have been active for years and hadn't got a single clue of what titans were and where they came from, how would someone like Eren do the job? It was impossible.

[Name] sighs, not happy to hear such pessimism. He believed in Eren— things could be changed. He... just did. 

  I͛̄́ͣ͆ͨͫ͏̬̜͇!̱̪̯͖͚̒͒̆̔͊̎ͩ̚͘͠ ̮͍̹̪̻̝̤ͫͨͪ̓0̨̊̓ͬ̄̆ͨ҉͖̞̱̼̭͉̘ͅͅn̎ͩ͐ͣ̋҉̪͖̲͖̕x͋̌̑ͧ͢͏̳͕̘̣̰̠̞x͊ͧ͊҉̹͍̱ͅͅỹ̺̮̮̜͈͈̎̍ ͎̰͇̲̺ͧ͛̍̕͝/̺̩̻͍͕͗͛̊͑̂̍͟ö̡̠̭̻̪ͤ̆ͬͮ͐̏̓ͅu̜͇̻͖͕̹̦̤̽̊̉ͫ͞ ̩̊ͧ̓̾ͬ̄̅̚͞k̷̟̝̙̗͖͓̯ͫ͆͠n̨̮̞̪̗̣͒̿̃͘͡#̡̻̯̦̩̤̪̙͓̑ͪ͊!̦̖͚̖̖͖͙̹̱̽ͯ͛̕͢͝x̝̹̥̹̤̣̝̋̂̑̿͐ͪ̌ ̦͖̟̣̤͐͑̑̽̅̒ͤ̈̕x̮̱̣̞̳̖̟͆͂ͬ̊ͩͨ̅ͭx̸̺͈̩̲͇̞ͨ̄̓́͆̅̚͡x̶̫̜̘̥͇̱͕̘ͭͥ͂͊̌͊ͅx͔̲̽͋̓ͤ̿̽͊͟͡ ͔̬̲͚̉ͯ̃͗w̧̟̪͌ͮ͒͠͞i̸͓̰ͬ̔̾̐ͫ̀́͑l̵̲̗̘̯͙͈̀͒̽̈́͐̑ͭͮ͞ͅl̬͍̈́͌ͫ̆̏͝ ̦̳̥̼̹̹̎̄͌͢h̿̊̐̒͏̫̼͎͇͍ͅ!̩̼͙̮͙̠̹͒̔̐ͦ̅#̨̦̙̞̞̞̖̞ͪͤ̾ͧͫ̾ͭ̑p͍̞̼͈̖͎ͩ̿̉̃͂͜$̩ͧ͟͠x͇̜̫ͮ̔̇͝ņͥ҉͇̝̲̼̬̟͈ͅ.̭̱̔͗ͧ͟͠

 “And you joining after him... what the hell are you thinking?” Jean spoke more to himself than to [Name], frowning. Even after knowing for some time he would join the Survey Corps, Jean still couldn't grasp that absurd idea.

[Name] leaves a kiss on Jean’s cheek, staring at him when he breaks it, “you don’t have to worry that much.”

”Easy for you to say,” he sighs, “aren’t you... upset?”

He blinks. ”For what?”

”Thinking about when we graduate. I feel I’m the one only suffering here, you heartless dummy.” Jean grits his teeth.

He did felt sadness— not being with his friends anymore made him felt... a little scared. “...I get upset.”

Jean bits his lip, averting his gaze, looking like a pouting child. ”Doesn’t look like it.”

[Name] places his arms around Jean, while the taller guy instantly wraps his arms around [Name]’s form. The amnesiac boy rests his head on Jean’s chest, smelling him and hearing his heartbeat. Jean blushes, biting his lower lip. Secretly smelling [Name]’s hair, the boy closes his eyes while enjoying the sweet scent, calming himself a little.

“I get sad thinking about how we won’t see each other again after that. I care a lot about you, Jean. Times like these are to be treasured while we can, don't you think?"

Jean blushes, narrowing his eyes in sadness. He didn’t want to let go ever— he wanted this night to be forever. Why was [Name] this stubborn? Why he couldn’t go with him inside the walls? With him? He understood his reason to go to the Survey Corps, but he had to understand nothing good would come out of it. He should be to the Military Police with him.

”There’s still time to change your mind.”

”I can say the same to you.”

Jean sighs, “why are you this stubborn?”

[Name] can sense Jean is upset. He moves his head to look at Jean, who only stares at him curiously. The amnesiac boy closes the gate between them, placing a soft kiss on Jean’s lips. The taller boy really didn’t expect such action, as [Name] felt his grip around him tightening, hugging him closer as he reciprocate the gentle kiss. He didn’t want to finish it, but eventually they did. 

While Jean’s face was as red as a tomato, [Name]’s remained the same, but a small tint of red decorated his face. 

WhatthehellWhatthehellWhatthehellWhatthehell—

”Everything will turn out alright,” he spoke with a small smile, “let’s make a promise.”

[Name] showed his pinky, “no matter what happens, we will see each other."

Jean doesn't want to do that promise— if he does, then [Name] going somewhere he can't follow will become real. He doesn't want to. But then seeing that smile just for him... [Name] always kept his promises— they were serious stuff to him, specially pinky promises for some reason.

"If you do a pinky promise and you broke it, you had to swallow 1000 needles. I read that in a book!"

[Name] still had so much to learn, but everything he read he believed it. He could be such an idiot sometimes... Jean didn't want to stop seeing that smile, hearing whatever he wanted to explain to him about what he learned. Was that fate? Everyone going to their own paths was inevitable since the beginning, and Jean was fooled to believe he could change [Name]'s mind and go with him.

Reluctantly, Jean made the promise. Locking his pinky with [Name]'s, both of them confirming vowing. Jean knew that was such an embarrassing thing to do, but being under the darkness where everyone were in their own business made him able to do it. And also, if he didn't vow then the promise wouldn't be serious, and [Name] wouldn't like that one a bit.

Such a childish cute guy. And dumb.

[Name] smiled once more, hugging Jean closer. He murmured something Jean didn't hear, but he guessed he wanted to sleep finally. 

Jean hugs him closer, frowning. He grits his teeth, resting his cheek on [Name]’s head. What will I do when you are not there? What then?

e m p t y / 12

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter twelve

flying

When the aptitude test began once again, [Name] was ready for it now— but of course, things got on his way as they have always done.

As he was being lifted in the air he didn't find much trouble balancing himself. Everything was going according to plan, but a small uncomfy feeling was slowly appearing on the back of his head, quickly creeping his whole head with a heavy weight with it. It soon became more painful, seeing his clenched jaw and a twitch on his left eye. Nevertheless, the boy didn't voice his discomfort and tried to keep going as normal.

Fortunately, the boy could whine mentally, ”oh fuck!” He clenched his fists, trying to not lose his balance that much. It may have sound like an exaggeration, but the headaches more than just hurting they clouded his mind— as if he couldn’t see trough the fog. He felt horribly tired out of nowhere, but didn't give in.

Unfortunately, his trouble couldn’t be hid. Why now, of ALL times, this is happening to me? Gritting his teeth, he tries as best as he could to not have a worse performance like yesterday. Somehow he stood his ground and managed— well, the test result didn’t have to be perfect, right? If it only allowed him to pass just barely, then that was enough for him.

Waiting for his result with a poker face, the silence Shadis fell in made [Name] worried. Was his performance so horrible he couldn’t be allowed to stay?

It seemed whatever Shadis was thinking had finished, and with a deep loud voice he spoke, ”I see you have problems with it still— just be careful your useless ass doesn’t make you fall to your death!”

[Name] couldn’t stop a sigh of relief getting out. Well, that was better than not passing. It was pretty disappointing not being able to do his best thanks to the headaches, but it isn’t as if he needed to be in the top ten to join the Survey Corps— he will just have to manage the upcoming tests and keep passing somehow. That if my headaches don't make me kill myself.

”I’m happy for you, [Name]!” Marco grinned, looking happily to him as he returned, “I knew you could do it.”

Jean rubs his head, ”man, your headaches really come in the worst time, do they?”

”It’s so absurd.” He bitterly stated, placing a hand on his forehead while closing his eyes, clearly frowning.

“Seems this is going to go for a while, seeing the amount that haven’t made it.”

"Can we stay there in the mean time?" [name] pointed a place pretty far from where they were— just a spot under some trees. Jean instantly knew he just wanted to sleep. You lazy sleepy adorable thing...

The trio walked away, sitting on the grass.

”Could we get in the air today?” Marco wondered, supporting his hands on the grass as he looked at the others trainees doing the test.

From afar he could see Eren’s failure and raising— it was pretty inspirational. [Name] always felt what truly made Eren into the person he was was his great sense of freedom. He truly fights of what he really wants. That can make him stupid or brave, if not both. By his surprise, it seems the brunette was looking for somebody— and that was him. They meet gazes from far away, [name] tilting his head to the side, curious. Looks like Eren is debating what to do, but in the end he sent a wave to [Name]. His eyes widened slightly, returning the wave unsure.

...?

"Where do you plan to go, [Name]?" Marco inquired, looking at him with prying eyes. His attention from Eren shifts to Marco,

"The Survey Corps."

"Really? That's... a lot of courage..." [Name]'s choice reminded Marco everyone would take their own paths in the future— many of them would not see each other again at the end of all of this.

"Or just really stupid," Jean couldn't help but mutter, crossing his arms. [name] sighed, knowing his choice was still not accepted by his friend. The [hair color] haired boy approached Jean and wrapped his arms around his torso, resting his head on Jean's chest. The action made the taller male blush, "o-oi, what the hell are you doing?!?

"Don't get mad," he closes his eyes, drifting off to sleep slowly. Rubbing his head against the other's chest, [name] muttered things Jean couldn't hear clearly. He just mumbled curses, not really trying to get [name] off of him. Secretly, he liked the gesture.

Marco just watches the interaction with interest, wondering about their past relationship. He noticed these two came together— childhood friends? but they look too intimate...

The freckled boy tilts his head. "You don't want him to join?"

Jean frowns, clearly showing his displeasure. "Of course not! Why would I when I know he— he will..." He doesn't finish the sentence, but Marco knows what he means. Unconsciously, the freckled boy moves [name]'s hair from his face, looking at the gentle expression he's making.

He smiles softly, "then... we should enjoy these moments together." While his embarrassment goes away for some time, Jean wraps his arms around [name], as if he fears for him to disappear.

While Jean and Marco talk about what the life inside the Military Police would be like, a certain brunette couldn't stop frowning at the close proximity Jean and [Name] were in. He just glared from afar, not liking one a bit the horrible scene.

After some hours, the test was over with when the instructor announced it's end. Both Jean and Marco hurriedly tried to wake [name] up, and after some tries the boy barely was awake. They didn't care about the state he was in and actually dragged him to were everyone was lining up, talking over his ear to wake him up. After some tries, the boy seemed to be conscious enough to at least stand up properly. All the cadets grouped in under the heavy gaze of their instructor, waiting for their new test.

Shadis stared at all of them with a harsh gaze while shouting, "the next test will be using your gear! Get familiar with it because then you will be doing teamwork practice, useless maggots!"

Everyone collected their new gear with grins on their faces, including [name]. His sleepy state had partially gone away at the feeling of finally being in the air.

Finishing wearing it, the trainees lined again to hear the instructions of the new test.

"Alright, maggots! The test from today is simple and an introduction for the next— use your blades to get the dummies! Every well done slice is a bonus point for your performance and your rank. At the count of three, the test will begin. It will finish when I say, so don't get too distracted!"

  Jean turns to [name], showing one of his 'handsome' smiles. "Okay [name], watch how a natural does it, hmn?" [name] just stares blankly at him, not caring much. "At least say something..."

"...one! THE TEST BEGINS!"

Seeing everyone already entering the forest, [name] took his time to get used to the blade's weight. He wanted to make sure everything was in order before going into action; there was no rush for now. Walking trough the forest, [name] clearly heard where the majority was. He jumped and shoot his hooks, heading to the left. I don't hear much here.

Managing the complete gear was something else. [name] had to be full awake to use it, if not, he could get badly injured if something went wrong. Nevertheless, the boy couldn't stop from closing his eyes and go with the flow, the feeling the wind against his face and the smell of grass present. He felt free.

Hearing the squeak of the dummies moving, the boy opened his eyes, ready to attack. There were two dummy titans of different size and pretty far away from each other, but without much wait [name] gripped his guns, releasing gas to quickly slice trough the fake neck successfully. That was good— now the other. Repeating the same process, [name] was getting the hand of it fast. Thanks to his good hearing, he could notice everyone was not that far away, seems like they are fighting for dummies.

Grinning at the sight of another untouched dummy, the boy prepared his grip to get another successful slice. Getting close to his target, he heard someone approaching quickly, stealing the kill. [Name], unamused, closed his gas to recognize the stealer was Reiner, who had a smug grin in his face.

"Thank you for the help, [name]! If it wasn't for your great sense of direction I would have not found this goldmine."

[Name] just stuck out his tongue, not really that bothered by the stealing. But just for a slight second, [name] changes, but to be precise his eyes change, and Reiner clearly see the difference— they look at him harshly, but with a tint of mocking along with a grin. "Let's see if you steal my kill when they break the wall again, giant." Leaving the blonde frozen by the sudden and dark comment, [name] left carelessly, as if he didn't say something weird.

Reiner just carefully watches him leave, the smirk long gone from his face.

  Ẍ̵̨̛̛̺̫̜̼̞̀͊̉̄͒͂̽̿̉̊͗̌ͅX̶̺̤͕͈̙̘͙̬̣͕͕̥̀̇́͗̆͛́̔̄̈̚X̵̹̤̗̋̚͝X̴̡̛̖̜̗͕̓͑͌̑̍͂̿X̶̨̙͎̩̮̖̖̬̘̌̓͐̐̽̋͛̅̌̄̄͊̐͝Ẍ̷̢̢̮͚̠̙͇̞͙͎͈́̌̆͊̒̉̂̇͑̐ͅX̶̨̖̗̰̮̖̜̲̜͇̊͐̌̒̾̾̆̾͝͠,̸̨̳̞̲̻̭̃̄͛̈̓͒̑̄̿̈́̽͑̈́͊͜ͅ ̶̢̡̠̝̮̳̦̟̜̙͖̰͔̑͑͑t̴̨̧̻̟̤̫͕̝̠̖̭͚̲̄̌̿̉̑͆̍͝h̷̙̝̟̎̄͆̿͐̚͝ȃ̴̧̱͉̬͔͈̮̬͎͚̦͖̘̔̄̐͆̓̌̀̅̅̇͘̕͝ͅt̴̛̠̬̼̰͈͉̖̜͛̉̏͆̽̐̒̈̑͆̄͠ͅ ̶̭͕̟̺̯̀̌̊̽̃̽̚͝ḯ̸̫̠̩͔̈́̉̕s̵̡̥̰̤̩͈̬̒ṇ̸̜̝̳̲̼̣̒̓͝'̷̢̱̺̝̪͛̈́͆͆̆̔̾͒̾̔̋̏̌̕ẗ̶̻́͆̒̈́́̃͌̏͆͂̎͠ͅ ̵̛̥͕͉̤͚͇͈͍̇̿̽̈́́͑̕͝ͅa̵̰̗̤̥̲̦̙̟̰̽̚͝l̴̨̨̧̛͎̞̗͉̬̲̼̭̣̀̓͋̿̈́̈̄̌̃͒͒͌̚̕l̸̩̻̮͈͍̼͍̺̪͚̬̜̣̟̦̋͒̃̔̂͐͒̈͘͠ò̸͚̖͍͕̀̋͆̅̑̽̍̂̈́̿͌ẅ̷̢͎͉́̐̔̃͠e̴̛̖̥̖͖̦̲̥̯͚d̸̺̲͇̊̓̑̃̄̄͘͜!̶̛͖̪͓͉̜̹͍̣́̎̍͒̈̓̂ͅ

  "Don't care."

"Everyone! Get your asses back here!"

"Next test will be for teamwork! Learn to cooperate together to take down a titan! Teams are already done, so hear carefully!"

"First team: Eren Jäeger, Jean Kirstein—"

[Name] heard Jean curses under his breath, and he couldn't stop a chuckle from coming out of his lips. He can see Eren, who is at the front, frowning and cursing too.

"Next team: Bertolt Hoover, [Name] Knight, Marco Bodt, Connie Springer and Mina Carolina!"

He didn't care much of who was he paired with— there wasn't anyone he disliked. [Name] was pretty excited for the practice, thanks to his adrenaline using the gear in the air just minutes ago.

The instructor had explained the practice consisted in taking care of the dummies inside the forest with your team— as he was going to watch everyone performance, seeing any lack of teamwork would get minus points.

"You have to learn how to cooperate— if you don't, there's nothing but mistakes and unavoidable mess," Shadis spoke, "get with your team and prepare for the test!"

[Name] waved at Jean before leaving, receiving a grunt. He reunited with his team, spotting Marco first who was already with the three soldiers. When they saw [name], Connie grinned enthusiastically and wrapped his arm around [name]'s shoulder.

"Ready for being first place, partner?" [Name] nodded, blinking blankly, "okay everybody! leave this to me!"

"Not so fast, air head!" The black haired girl spoke, "this is about teamwork, don't go all crazy and dandy doing your own thing!"

"I believe all of us will do our best— we just have to coordinate right!"

[Name] not interesting much in their conversation, looked at Bertolt with his usual poker face and waved, tilting his head slightly. The taller soldier blinked in surprise, shyly returning the greeting. [Name] sure looked to have some childish behavior– the brunette couldn’t stop imagining him as a little kitten when he was with Jean. The sudden thoughts made him blush. A kitten...

  "Everybody, in place! The practice will begin in 3...2..."

The practice was being an absolute failure.

The team wasn't communicating properly— between the silence of some members and the independent actions of others, the team regrouped to discuss about their currently horrible performance.

“What the hell are we doing?!”

”Connie! Stop going on your own and follow orders!”

”What?! Nobody is giving shit! Why is it my fault?!”

”Hey—! Please calm down! We still have time to get it together!” Marco tried to control the situation, but the two weren’t listening to him. He turned to the other two, “Bertolt, [Name]! Help me out!” The taller soldier couldn’t speak properly. His shyness didn’t let him, and just opted to stay silent and look apologetic.

[Name], in the other hand, feeling done about the bad experience, placed a hand on his hip, while the other took one of his blades and pointed at the two fighting members, gaining their attention. He frowned, “we need to replenish and think about something. We look like fools.”

While they found a base to resupply, Marco spoke in the gentle voice he had, “we need to have a clear task ahead— we can’t just scatter and find a target for ourselves.”

”Well, it’s not like we have a leader in the team!”

”It’s true... we are just doing our own thing." Mina said, grunting, "we need someone giving orders!"

The freckled boy hummed, trying to think about something. “I don’t think I’m capable of leading... what do you say, Bertolt?”

”No offense to Bertolt, but he doesn’t even say his thoughts,” Mina replied instead, sighing. The taller cadet just sweated, playing with his hands nervously. “Connie is no good either, and I don’t think I’m good to take over the leader thing.” The bald kid just huffed, pouting.

They all stared at [Name], who was yawning. But as soon as he felt their stare, with a raised brow he questioned, “what?”

* * * * * * *

”Well... I guess this is better than nothing.” [Name] spoke, still unsure by their choice. He didn't feel particularly confident by being the leader of the team this time, but it wasn't as if he thought it was something hard.

”Don’t worry, [Name]. If you have trouble with something I will be happy to help you!”

”And why aren’t you the leader?” He narrowed his eyes, raising a brow.

Marco mumbled, "w-well, I'm not really good at giving orders... hehe..."

"Whatever. I heard a lot of noise in the right side of the forest, so let's go to the left," [Name] guided them in what he thought would be a good path, "there should be more dummies left here, and less people."

"How can you tell? I really can't distinguish where are they right now..." Mina asked, looking around her, "do you have good hearing?"

"I think so. Right now I can hear Eren's loud voice fighting with Jean," the amnesiac boy shifted his gaze on a intact dummy— jackpot, "Connie! Get the legs while I go for the neck!"

"A-Ah, sure!"

Their performance had gotten better with someone taking the lead— as [name] gave orders, others followed them. Mina nor Marco still didn't have the strength to make a good cut, but thanks to [Name] observing everyone's performance he yelled for Bertolt to back them up, or sometimes doing it himself. At the beginning everyone seemed to lack confidence with what they were doing, but while the practice progressed everyone was gaining trust in each other.

  "Everyone retreat! Practice's over! Once we announce your ranks, retrieve your gear!"

"[Name]! You did great!" Marco complimented him, grinning. Everyone patted from the harsh practice, but the smiles in their faces told him they were pretty satisfied with their performance.

"Did I?"

"Of course!" Mina laughed, "this time it really felt everyone was pulling their own weight. Nice job!" She patted his shoulder, giving thumbs up.

"Hey, hey— yeah, [Name] did great and all but don't forget the ace of the team— Connie Springer!"

"Sure thing, baldy— I can't imagine what we would have done without you!" The girl sarcastically spoke, already leaving the place, "let's hurry to see who made it first place!"

"I race ya!!"

"H-Hey! Wait up!" Marco followed them.

The remaining two stayed to catch their breaths, until [name] broke the silence. "Was I good?"

The taller cadet blinked, realizing he's talking to him. His face is slightly red, but the only thing he can do is nod. [Name] hums, feeling particularly... nice by their compliments. "Let's go back, then." The taller boy nodded, giving an awkward smile before leaving the spot.

[Name] rubbed his hand on his neck, relieving some stress. Controlling the gear was expectantly hard— he had to be full awake to not have any accident. And, talking about accidents... he was relieved his headaches hadn't appeared while he was in air. [name] didn't want to be in that type of situation any time soon. Wouldn't be pretty falling from this height...

Jumping, the teenager fired his hooks successfully into a tree, following the others. But as soon as he fired another hook, it didn't came out. Before [Name] could realize what was happening, he was already falling. Oh no. He erratically gripped his controllers to make it work, but it seemed there was something stuck inside or just the gear didn't work. This is going to hurt really bad.

Trying to somehow prepare from the amount of pain he was going to feel, he closed his eyes and tensed. As his thoughts were occupied by the injuries he would get, he didn't hear the steam of someone's gear hurrying to his way. Instead of being welcomed by the harsh ground, there was a much softer and warm welcoming.

Opening his eyes, [name] could feel arms wrapped around his torso. Tilting his head, he recognized his savior was Eren. Both of them didn't say anything at all— the brunette didn't even try to look at him. [Name] could see he was frowning— is he... angry?

Eren landed on a tree branch without much trouble, letting go off [Name]'s hold. The amnesiac didn't exactly know what to say, seeing how tensed his friend was.

Before he could even say something, Eren snapped, "what were you thinking?! Falling like that!" His eyes showed a mix of anger and worry, but the tone of his voice made [name] clear he was upset.

Blinking, [name] tried to explain but was cut off, "my gear—"

"Did you become this careless!? What the hell!" Eren couldn't help but yell— it felt as if he was taking his irritations on him.

Getting bothered by Eren's childish behavior, [Name] harshly spoke, "what's your problem? stop acting like a child!"

[Name]'s outburst had seemed to snap Eren from his anger, seeing his widening eyes. The brunette crossed his arms and averted [name]'s gaze, letting out a huff. [Name] shared the same annoyance, frowning while he sat down to see what was the problem with his gear.

The silence was horribly tense and awkward, but it didn't take long to Eren to give in. He let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his neck. His expression looked apologetic— [name] frowned, not liking the situation one a bit. The and being unable of finding the source of the gear's failure, the amnesiac's patience was slowly disappearing.

“Look, [Name]... I...” he tried to choose his words right, “I’m sorry. I—I was an idiot, okay?”

[Name] didn't look at him. "You still are."

Sighing, the brunette sees [name] is the one upset now. It's not that he's not allowed to— after all, Eren was being a child these past days. "I shouldn't have told you that back then... I wasn't thinking clearly." He doesn't know if to keep going, but seeing [name] has stopped his actions and has just stared in front of him made him talk more urgently, "I know what I say was wrong— It's just... seeing you again after two years, not knowing where you were... my emotions just kinda... snapped."

There's silence, but Eren keeps going. "You— you don't know how horrible I felt after that, okay? Back then, when I thought about what had happened to you, and what happened to my mom... I was angry at everything. But seeing you were okay, and with that horse face protecting you as if I wasn't your friend... I guess I was bothered and happy at the same time. Look, I'm... I'm sorry."

Both of them keep quiet, but [name] decides to speak, "...I always thought about all of you," he scratches his hand, "I thought I would never see you again." He turns around, meeting Eren's eyes. [Name] is not good at showing emotions, but the brunette can recognize the pain in his face. "Hearing you say those things, as If I didn't care about you, didn't feel... nice." He stands up, forgetting about his gear.

"...can you... forgive me?" Eren is embarrassed— he's not usually this... passive. Nevertheless, he recognized his mistake. After all, it wasn't much different when they were kids— [name] really made him act in another way.

[Name] got closer where Eren was, "...you have always been an impulsive idiot."

”Hey! I’m trying here!”

[Name] chuckles, leaving a kiss on his cheek, “I know.” The unexpected action makes Eren's face blush, feeling shy, "you are forgiven."

Eren gulps, averting his gaze in embarrassment. "Hey, [name]..." he speaks in a lowly tone, when he hears a hum from [name] he continues, ”can we... sleep together tonight?”

[Name] blinks at the question, ”sure.”

Before Eren can mentally celebrate his success, the practice reminds him of where they were heading. "Shit! We have been here for too long— oh shit. The instructor would yell at us." Eren was going to leave, but [name] grabbing his wrist stopped him. He turns, confused, "what?"

"My gear. I don't know what happened to it but I can't use it." He demonstrated the issue, trying to shoot one of his hooks but nothing came out. Grunting, Eren passes a hand trough his hair, trying to think what should they do.

"There's nothing else— I will carry you there. Just hang on, okay?" Eren carries [name] bridal style, the amnesiac wrapping his arms around the other's neck, a little unsure about it. Nevertheless, it seemed his friend was confident and ready about this, so he didn't say anything and hoped for the best.

Eren carefully fired his hooks, trying to make the trip safer for both. They left the forest successfully, luckily averting the majority of the others' attention. The landing was a little harsh, but nothing they couldn't handle. As they arrived, who noticed their presence was Jean and Marco, the first running to them with a glare directed to Eren.

"What did take you so long?!" Jean yelled at [name], but quickly shifted his anger to Eren, pointing at him, "and you! It's your fault we got last place!"

"Ah?! Why my fault?! You didn't do anything but get in my way every time, horse face!"

While the two were fighting, Marco approached [name] with his usual smile. "I have good news! We got second place!"

"Is that so? Who's first?"

"Reiner's team— I guess he's really a natural leader. Even so, I'm really happy with how we did back there, thanks to you!"

[Name] scratches his neck, feeling shy. "is that so? I didn't do much tough..."

"Of course you did!" He grins, "oh, but what happened? I saw you came without your gear."

While [name] explained what had happened, all of them returned their gear, but not without [name] notifying the failure. The instructors had said they would check the gear and notify tomorrow what was wrong with it. Eren left to find Armin and Mikasa, but not without smiling at [Name] one last time. Jean, suspicious about the new and sudden behavior, questioned [name] about what had happened back in the forest. The amnesiac boy just tells him he will tell him if he gives him his bread.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

Everyone was getting ready for bed, as nighttime had arrived. [Name] had told Marco he would sleep with Eren tonight, and with Jean currently talking to the freckled boy, could not have ignore that statement.

"Really? Did you two became boyfriends all of sudden?" Jean raises a brow, annoyed. It wasn't a secret he disliked Eren— in fact, it was public information.

[Name] blinks, a little confused by the question. "...Boyfriends...? I'm just sleeping with him tonight. Is that a problem?"

"Of course there's a problem! It's weird!"

"Weird? But I've slept with you before..."

Marco coughed, feeling a little embarrassed by how... weird that sounded. Luckily for them, everyone was in their own business, so no one was hearing what they were saying.

"I-It isn't the same!"

"Why are you caring so much if Marco is the one who I share the bed with?"

Jean, irritated and with his face dust in red, averts his gaze and grits his teeth. "Fine! Do whatever you want! Is not as if I care anyways."

[Name] frowns, not understanding Jean's anger. Why was he behaving so difficult all of sudden? Trying to fix the issue, [name] remembers the books he had read before about giving princesses giving kisses. They had always made someone happy just by a kiss, and [name]'s innocence and childish mind doesn't think about the consequences of such actions. He just follows what he thinks is right and closes the gap between Jean and him, giving a soft kiss near the other's lips. Unfortunately, the sudden reaction of Jean pushing him away harshly isn't what he's expecting, seeing his confused and hurt look he wears. Thankfully [name] is still on the bed, so instead of falling on the wooden floor he's met with Marco's chest, who unconsciously takes [name]'s shoulders. The freckled boy can literally feel the uncomfortable, painful and tensing silence the three had fallen to— he recognizes the regretful expression Jean shows, but is soon shifted into a frown.

Lucky or not, what breaks the silence is Eren looking for [name], oblivious of what had happened with the trio. "[Name]! Ready to—" he abruptly sees the faces of both Jean and [Name], and with suspicion he ask, "is something wrong?"

"...no. I was just telling Marco we're changing beds tonight." [Name] stands up, "good night."

"...Alright, then. Let's go." He takes [name]'s hand, tangling his fingers with his'. Smiling, both leave.

Jean just sees them leaving, clenching his jaw. What had occurred was an instant reaction— as they were surrounded by literally everyone, what would have they thought about seeing something like that? It's not that Jean didn't mind, but he did.

"I hate him." Jean states, looking at the back of Eren's head in disgust.

Marco sighs. I fear a war between these two...

  When the lights are turned off and everyone is finally sleeping, Eren can't stop himself from hugging [name] —who is already asleep—, hiding his face on the crook of [name]'s neck, smelling his nice scent. He blushes as he leaves a soft peck on the other's cheek, feeling happiness by being reunited with him finally— a miracle, maybe, or just luck.

Nevertheless, he's sure he will not lose sight of him ever again. Closing his eyes and tightening his hold, he softly mutters a promise he swears to keep forever over [name]'s ear:

"I'm never letting you go again... I promise I'll protect you."

e m p t y / 11

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter eleven training

Looking around, the taller male tries to see if anybody is watching him, and when he decides he's safe, Jean can't help himself to check out the body from his friend next to him— [Name]. He's not paying attention to him, so Jean was safe to see all the wanted. He has noticed he have matured enough, but he is taller than [Name] and stronger.

His soft skin looks nice — he wondered if it was easily to mark... his hair looked smooth, too. He wanted to smell it– remembering those days when they were kids he always thought [Name] smelled nice.

Jean's eyes could help but wander more on his body, but before he could get any lower, he noticed something just behind [Name]'s shoulder— a mark?

The two-toned haired male tries to look at it carefully, but someone came out of nowhere talking loudly, scaring him.

"Yo, [Name]!" A short guy yells, approaching both. Turning, he recognize is Connie. "What is that on your shoulder? Is that a mark?" He says, looking right on his shoulder.

"Uh? What?" [Name] asks, confused. He tries to look behind his shoulder, but he can't see anything. "What is it?"

"You don't know? It looks like a mark!"

"A mark?"

"Hmn... it looks like... a wing?? Nah..."

Someone else speaks, interested by the subject. Is a big blonde– Reiner. "It looks like... a crown." He says lowly, narrowing his eyes. He turns to see his brunette friend, who looks nervously at him in return.

"Well, possibly. It does look like it, though..." Jean speaks thoughtfully.

[Name] tilts his head, completely oblivious he had that. "I don't remember anyone telling me I had one..."

Connie raises and eyebrow, "no? not even your parents?"

[Name] stays quiet by the question, and Connie notices right away he asked something uncomfortable.

"S–Sorry! Forget that!"

"Way to go, baldy."

"Hey! I didn't think much of it!"

[Name] shakes his head, "It's alright. No, I don't think they told me."

"Well, that's a cool mark!"

"...Thank you?"

"You don't remember having it before?" Reiner asks, looking at it carefully.

[Name] shakes his head, wondering if he could remember about it– but a sharp pain in his head stops him. Grunting, [Name] places a hand on his head, trying to relieve the pain.

Everyone can see his discomfort, but is Jean the first one to ask. "Your head again?

"Yeah..."

"You have headaches a lot, uh?" Reiner asks.

"Sometimes," he rubs his forehead, but stops when he realizes something, looking at the teenagers with narrowed eyes, "but... how all of you noticed my mark?"

"Because it was noticeable!" Connie responds enthusiastically.

"...So you were watching me while I'm showering...?"

"Ah—! Well, hehe..." Connie begins to laugh, and Bertolt, Reiner and Jean avert your gaze, face blushing.

[Name] touches his mark, wondering. Who was I? He turns to Jean, who is averting his gaze, embarrassed, "can you draw it? I want to see it."

His friend just gulps, trying to act normal. "Oh, sure."

Eren just saw their interaction from far away, pouting and frowning like a child.

"You should stop watching... it's awkward..."

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First training was about practicing with the balance of the ODM. As he could see, Jean and Marco were doing great— but Eren... not so much. The brunette was upside down with an horrifying expression plastered on his face. It was obvious in [Name]'s eyes he was utterly embarrassed and horrified of what was just happening to him— [Name] could only watch in worry as everyone around let out snickering comments about his friend's state as the instructor yelled at him.

"Cadet Knight! It's your turn!" One of the instructors shouted, turning to see [Name] already coming his way, watching his friend in worry. He got in place, one of the cadets placing the wires on his belt. [Name] tried to not tense too much, but as soon as the cadet began to lift him in the air, [Name] couldn't stop feeling so... uncomfortable. He couldn't get used to it as quickly as Mikasa did— it was so... tight. He couldn't stop staggering around, much to his dismay. And to top things up, a migraine was appearing, making it more difficult than it already was.

Nevertheless, the teenager tried his best to not fall. But it was clear the practice was difficult to him.

"You just barely made it," Shadis spoke to him, "you better change your pathetic attempt or you are leaving along with cadet Jäeger!"

Hearing the yells, Eren, who was still upside down, looked besides him to see [Name] having trouble too. He just grew more worried about the future in the military— their future. What if one of them had to go and couldn't see each other again?! He wouldn't allow that!

I̷̡͎̱̭͙͎̠̒̎̍̌̈́ͅ ̴̨̘͍͖̘̼̲̐͑͐̃̐͘͝͝͝͠t̷̨̆̎̽̃͆͂̚o̶̧̢̥͍̗̩͓̘̫̙̮͊̀͋̂͌̇ͅļ̴̧̨̱͉͔̭̬̘͎̣̈̐͋͆̒̎͑̊̆͗̚ͅd̴̢̧͕̟̫͕̲̙̳̬͎̣̥̓͐̕ ̵̧̼͔̠͔̗̞̋̽̿͌͌͑̔̓̇̓̆̽̓y̸̭̺̖͓͉̔͂͋̅́̑̈́͊̆̚͘̚̚͝ǫ̷̛̽̿̑̈́̈̒͘͠͠ǘ̸̼͖̝̬͖̮̥͕̈́̀̀͐̂̑ ̴̧̧̢͉͍̙͓͕̙̲̻̖͊̒̾̃t̵̛̯̦̋̈́̇͌͗̿͘̚͠ḧ̶̹̭̹̱̞̗̖̻͈̟̫́̋̅̑̒͗̽̔̇̚̚i̷̧͕̜̱̓̾̿͛̔̂̍̍̒̓̚̕͝s̶̨̢͕̺̻̜̤̬̑̌̍̏̃̎̚ ̴͓̒̉͝ͅb̸͎̲̜̓͊̏̈̋̊͑̈̄͑̊͜͝͝͝r̸̢̡̧͎͔̺̭̫̼̼̘͎̬̓ä̴̧͈͙̼̤͈̹͖̝̜͉̭͚̊͜ͅṫ̵̡̤̻̰̋́̓̽̕͘̚͝ ̷̢͖̭̪̮̻͇̤̦̘̩̹̅̿̈̈́̌͘͘͝w̷̧̛̱͈̫̙̲͖͉͖̲̘͓̳̉̑̔͊̅̍̿̚ā̴̡̧̻̬͖̫͇͎̃͑̽͜s̴̛̜̭̱̦̲̮͎̞̼̆̕n̷̢̧̯͙͉̫͖̠̙͙̰̙͍͐̈́̏͐̈́̆̇̑͝'̸̡̢̨̛̠̘͖͍͈̥͈̗̦̭̈́̾̾͊̄̓̚͝͝ͅţ̸͇̞̞̒͊͌̃͊̉͂̂̅̾̚͝͝ ̷͔͉̪̠͖̾̉̈͑̈́̋̐̍̓̚͜m̴̨̛ư̵̜̩̭̲̞̬͚̱̮͚̘̾̌͒̃̋̈́͋c̸̢̟̭͈̹͎̮̠͕̾͐̌̿͠h̶̦͖̟͇̻͖͓̮͔̝̖̫͔̄̓̆͒̂̀͌̊̍̚͠͝ͅ ̶̨̧͔̗̱̠̦̫͔̱̅̂ǫ̸̥̫̹̬̣̯͙̪̲͇̌͒̓͊̈́̊̽͒͒͘f̵̻͍̮̯̖̪̹̭̈́̏͒͗͗̊́̕͝ ̸̛̜̮͒͐̽̈́̈͆͌̉̐̽͝ą̶̠͎͉̟̟̜̭̜̥͓̾ͅ ̴̢̛̻͆̐̑̾̆̉̾̿̑̏͆͠͝h̶͉̞̉̏͘ę̷̬͇̟͙̬̭̹̺͉̺͖̦͖͓̓ľ̵̝̲̗̾̓͌̒ͅp̵̛̙̯͕̝̰̹͂̂̿̉̈́̈̇̒̎͘̚.̴̨̬̻̥̲̼̦̫̬̲͙͉͉͌̂̑̒̓̽̕͝

[Name] felt irritated. What was the issue with him? As it was an new thing, maybe he didn't get use to it right away...

"Don't worry, [Name]! I'm sure you will get it right next time!" Marco tried to comfort him with his precious smile, but [Name] was already in a bad mood. The frown made it quite clear.

"Well, seems [Name] didn't make it in the first try," Jean was surprised his friend hadn't made it the first time. But he could recognize the way he grit his teeth and frowned was because he was having one of his usual headaches. "Did your head hurt?"

Sighing, [Name] just nods as an answer, rubbing the back of his head. He couldn't deny hearing harsh whispers right on his ear, a voice that could have belonged to a man with a gruffly voice. [Name] didn't hear quite well what it said, but it got in his nerves nevertheless.

”Looks like Eren is having it worse...” Armin says, smiling awkwardly at his friend. [Name] can see the brunette still trying, but failing every time. It was not a great scene to see, less when everyone was looking at him in mocking way.

”Pff, and there goes “the weak have to go”, HAHAHA!” Jean jokes, laughing like a maniac. [Name] just sees him with an raised eyebrow, amused by such ridiculous behavior. Was he always this dumb?

[Name] sighs, passing a head trough his hair, ”guess I have to worry about myself...” Jean notices his irritation, and he hugs his shoulder and speaks in a weird tone.

”Heeeey,” Jean pats his head with his grin, “don’t worry— PRO Jean knows everything and you are in luck— I’m not charging you.”

[Name] snorts, “is that so? How nice of you.” Hugging his arm, [Name] rests his head on Jean’s shoulder, looking at him with a playful smile. This only breaks Jean’s facade, seeing his blush and stuttering.

Armin just sees with widening eyes and a blush, same with Marco. It’s... amusing seeing [Name] so lively, after being in a bad mood.

"I'm hungry. When is lunch time?" [Name] yawns, letting go Jean's arm. The migraine was still there, but less painful. He somehow had to bear with them as nothing else could help but a cold shower. Maybe he could go to the infirmary later to find anything.

Eren, who somehow finished his awful practice, approaches Armin but not before giving [Name] a weird look. The [hair color] haired stares at him silently, not sure what to say. It's obvious the air had become awkward— there's silence. The brunette frowns, pressing his lips into a thin line, seeming to decide not say whatever he was thinking.

"Let's go." It's the only thing he says, already walking away without Armin. The blonde waves at [Name] before leaving, sending an apologetic smile. [Name] just stands there with a frown, feeling upset once more.

Maybe I should have said something. He thinks, his expression changing to his dull usual eyes and crosses his arms. Sighing, he can't help but being angry at the situation.

The freckled boy can't help but notice the tension, and with prying eyes he looks at [Name]. "Hmn, is something wrong between you two?"

Jean snorts, "of course there is— that suicidal maniac is also a jackass."

"I want to sleep." [Name] states, already walking away. Jean grabs his wrist, pulling him back.

"No you won't! You have to eat dinner first!" Jean yells at him, “I can’t believe I have to be your babysitter!”

”I’m not making you," he pouts, "you are doing it because you want to."

The taller teenager just clench his teeth and grunt, a faint pink painting his face. This cute little shit—

"[Name]! Eating is important!" Marco says worriedly, "if you don't you will be more tired tomorrow..."

The sleepy teenager just sighed and gave in. Eating didn't sound so good when the food was that cold—he already missed his mom's cooking. When will they be able to visit their family?

The trio walked to the dinner hall, Marco and [Name] doing most of the talking while Jean just wondered.

Jean believed if [Name] lived by himself he wouldn't do anything but sleep one week if he could. That careless idiot! If I weren't here with him who would take care of him?! He knew one day he wouldn't be at his side once they graduate. The thought only upset him, squeezing [Name]'s hand for no reason. The amnesiac boy looked at him with curiosity, but squeezed back without a word.

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It wasn't a secret Mikasa was satisfied with how her brother was acting. She knew that day was traumatic— they lost their mother, their father was missing and they believed [Name] was gone for good, even if they didn't say it out loud. But getting angry at him wasn't justified. She knew Eren could get emotional even if he didn't admit it, but it was a clear his feelings controlled him most of the time.

"Eren, you know what you are doing is immature, right?" Armin tries to keep up with the fast speed Eren is walking— he looks troubled. Nevertheless, the blond tries to speak with in a soft tone.

Seeing his silent treatment, Mikasa frowns and speaks, "[Name] is hurt by what you are doing."

"Really?! And then why isn't he coming to apologize?!" He turns to see her angrily.

"For what?" She changes her tone to one much harsher, "he didn't leave us— did you look for him first when the colossal titan broke the wall?" Mikasa says with narrowed eyes, staring right at Eren.

The brunette shuts his mouth, not being able to answer. It was true— his first thought was his mom, not [Name]. But it was completely fine his thoughts were like that. He grits his teeth, turning to walk once more. "Whatever!"

"You will make things right— apologize. What you said to him was uncalled for."

”Eren... [Name] is here, with us.” Armin spoke, “there was a chance he wouldn’t be here— can you imagine that? You should be happy we are together again...”

The brunette grunts, looking as if he didn't care, but in reality, he certainly did. “I have more important things to do right now.”

The two friends look at each other, sighing. Eren could be a thick head when he wanted.

"Hopefully this won't be long."

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As [Name] was changing to more comfortable clothes, he could see Eren (with a bandage around his head) desperately trying to get help with Jean and a kid named Connie. The [hair color] haired knew that wasn’t going work at all, seeing Jean not liking Eren one a bit.

Strangely, [Name] wasn’t too bothered by his horribly practice. At first he was troubled, but he deducted with a few more chances to get used with the gear he would be fine. He didn’t feel desperate— after all, Beatrice always told him that keeping a cool head was better.

”Maybe we can try tomorrow morning before practice,” Marco smiles, looking at [Name], "you can get used to it in no time."

”I don’t think I will wake up...” He scratches his neck, “maybe after dinner... but I will have to change again... ugh.”

”I can go with you to help, okay?" [Name] looks at him and nods, grateful. "Don't worry— I will try to tell you everything I know."

Jean approaches them with a smug smirk, obviously enjoying Eren’s suffering, “he must be so desperate to look for me to help him, pfft!” He can't hold his laugh, seeing Eren's face from afar. Jean turns to the two, still with his smirk, "anyways, how about you [Name]?"

”Ah, [Name] wants to practice after dinner!”

”Really? I don’t see you that bothered, tough.” Jean looks at [Name]'s neutral face— in fact, he didn't see him as worried as others were.

”Maybe I can get it right after a few tries,” he looks at Eren again, noticing he was with Reiner and Bertolt, along with Armin. Tilting his head, blinking with his dull eyes, he proceeds, “after all, being anxious won't help."

"You must be careful with your headaches. Seems they come around in the worst times."

[Name] sighs, "can't do much about that." He didn't know how well he could handle them in the worst scenarios— [Name] hoped they didn't make him leave training.

"Everything will be okay," the freckled teenager showed a warm smile, squeezing his hand. [Name] tilted his head, feeling warm. Strangely, [Name] felt shy. His face blushed and he averted Marco's gaze, and Jean absolutely catch the strange behavior.

Ayayayay— what

"Okay," [Name] scratches his neck, still with the cryptic spark on his eyes. Jean raises one eyebrow, suspicious. Never seen that expression before— [Name] has like... three expressions. What's he thinking?! "We should go to eat now. I'm hungry."

"Sure!"

As the three of them leave, Jean can't stop thinking at the weird thing just happened. That can't be— [Name] didn't even react the way I wanted to when he kissed!

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[Name] noticed neither Armin nor Eren went to have dinner— they stayed with Reiner and Bertolt back in the dorms.

The amnesiac teenager looked at Mikasa, who was with other girls. Since Armin nor Eren are here... She somehow noticed [Name], waving at him with a small smile. [Name] returned the smile, waving along.

He sat down with Jean and Marco as usual, not really talking much. There was few other guys in the table, and he could only recognize Connie and Thomas, a blonde kid he saw around Trost a few times.

"Aah?" The bald kid speaks, stopping eating when he sees [Name]'s face closely. He got near [Name] from the other side of the table, supporting his hands on the wood, "never seen your eyes before!"

"I feel special," [Name] plainly says, eating his bread without much care. Jean snorts by it— since when [Name] jokes?

Connie blinks, realizing who he is, "hey! do you remember your mark?" [Name] blinks, completely forgotten about it.

"Ah, right," Jean takes something from his pocket— a folded paper. He opens it and shows it to [Name], who tilts his head to look at it carefully.

It's a simple drawing— it was a crown inside a perfect circle. No words or anything that he could recognize— just an imagine. This only made him sigh. Of course it didn't bring anything— nothing ever did.

"I don't know."

He doesn't hear anybody, paying more attention to the paper, as he touches the drawing. The touch only brings a heavy pain on his head, and there's only a strong voice speaking trough the static.

W̷͈̱͎͙͍̤͔͉̯̘̟̪͇̭͕̓̂͛̓͗̀͘̕͝X̷̢̛̖̯̰̫̌͛̾̅͂̏͘̕ ̸̨̡̡̰͈̺̻͓̩͔͚̙̅̂̈́̎͜3̴̖͍̫̪̌͛̈͊͝r̶̛̙̺̝̮̣͍̟͓̬̄̀̊͑ͅX̴̹̐̆͌̽̀̕̚͠ ̵̭̻̽͑̇̌̉̿̊̂̍̌̍t̵̥̖̼̮̙̩͈͗͛͗͋̍̌̇̄͛̍̃̋̚͜͝h̴̪̐̏̌͌̓͑̂̕2̵̠̠͇̮̰͈͇͋͜ ̸̧̡͍͙̠̦̬͕̟̻͖̟́̋͌̊̋̄̌̌͘K̸̢̨̥̘͖͙̜͎̹̜͎̰̘̈̀̽̄̎̊̐͒͜ȉ̷̭̺̝̈́̑ň̵͜g̶̺͇̮̑̾͜'̵̨͈̦̳̾̂̓̒̊s̵̢̨̝͙̜͕͙̥͕̣͔̝̤̬̒͋̂͑͒̑̈̈̓͒̀͑̂̑ ̴̲̼͚̲̘̱̫͔͍̩̰͍̓̊́s̶͓͚͐͂̐X̵̡̰͔̯̼̭̻̜̅̋̇͑͛͛͘.̴̭̹̹̳̲̩̃̾͐̓?̵̞̯̤̪̍̊̋̽͗̑͒͗̽͊̚͘͠d̷̡̘̜̯͚̱͕͍̮̹̭͆̒͐͑͛̃͗͘̕͜.̴̨̡̻̟̩̼̄̉̂͠͠

"[Name]?"

"Why does your head hurt a lot?" Connie interrupts Jean, noticing the usual pain [Name] gets. Jean just glares irritably at him.

"Migraines. I will never get rid of them, so I'm used to it."

"Wait— but how come you don't remember anything? Did you hurt your head?"

"Something like that." He doesn't seems to want to talk anymore, so he excuses himself to eat. Doesn't matter, as Connie looks like loves to talk and doesn't seem bothered by his silence. This allows [Name] to think about his now founded mark— did nobody ever see it before? Well, he didn't actually remembered someone looking as his back... was there? Frowning, he instinctively touches his shoulder, upset but happy at the same time. Well, at least I have another thing to be recognized with.

He feels a hand touching his'. [Name] looks up, noticing is Jean. "Hey, do you want to go now? Remember you have to rest." [Name] notices Marco is watching him too, waiting to leave. Nodding, [Name] stand up along with the other two, alerting Connie who only raises his eyebrows with the sudden move.

"Hey! Where are you three going?"

"None of your business, baldy," Jean answers as they leave, hearing Connie yell something to him. Just as they return to the dorm, [Name] can hear Eren's voice in the distance. He turns to the side of the forest, seeing faint lights entering it. Where are they going...?

"[Name]?"

He blinks, entering the dorms without seeing the forest one last time.

”Your straps are loosen up," Marco kneels, tightening them and reordering them, "done!"

"Geez, [Name]. You can be so careless most of the time," he sighs, scolding [Name], "anyways, ready?" [Name] nods.

[Name] has the same uncomfortable feeling as before, but this time he's prepared. He is lifted in the air as he tries his best to relax and not trash around— but there's a gentle voice right at his ear, but not the same gruffly one. This one is kinder, and he can actually understand what it says. He blinks, surprised.

Easy— this is nothing you can't handle.

The voices relaxes him, somehow. Is as if it's singing a lullaby— [Name] sighs, using his whole body to balance correctly this time. Just as Marco and Jean said, the legs had a principal role on balancing himself right. There seems to not be another issue with the gear, as he could see. The two boys saw [Name] working better with the gear, much different than his first try.

"Look at that— seems my great teachings have worked for you, [Name]." Jean smirks, placing his hands on his hips, feeling proud.

"Seems you just had to try a second time," the freckled teenager smiles, giving thumbs up. He helps [Name] getting off.

"I wonder how we'll do in the air," [Name] says, touching the ground. He couldn't wait for the next practice in a couple of days— strangely he felt ticklish by just the thought of flying. Just remembering the first time he saw the Survey Corps using the gear made him grin in anticipation.

"Now now, don't get impatient," Jean tries to sound 'wise', but in reality [Name] thought he sounded dumb as hell, "everything in time."

"Whatever you say, Jeanbo."

"Don't call me that!"

[Name] hides his smile, "mom?"

"[NAME]!"

Marco chuckles, "I'm glad you made it— let's just wait for tomorrow!"

When they walk back to the dorms, [Name] can't stop thinking at the kind yet familiar voice from before. Would I get the answers I'm tired to look for? Hearing the voice was calming, just like hearing Beatrice. It was a weird resemblance, but spot on, somehow. I wonder what she's doing.

e m p t y / 10

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter ten — first day

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Standing with everyone else, looking straight without a hint of emotion. This was their first day as a soldier.

[Name] had matured— his eyes were gentle, but with the horror seen by them made them harder. His cheeks blushed a little by the sun— it was a hot day after all. And with the uniform on... ugh... He felt already soaked inside the jacket.

He could hear the yells from the instructor, shouting at some kid far away from his line. Even if he was far away, it seemed he was just besides him. [Name] bet the man could be heard to Wall Sina.

Deep in his thoughts, he didn't catch a certain pair of eyes looking at him curiously. But thanks to his instincts, he feel it, quickly making him look for them. He traveled his unusual eyes trough the line in front of him who were facing him, and finally, [Name] spotted a very tall guy with hazel eyes looking at him. But just when he meet his eyes, he blushed and averted his dull gaze.

"He is very tall..." [Name] thought, admiring his height. He thought maybe he was the tallest soldier around here. The teenager could tell he knew [Name] was watching him, because he began to sweat. Is the sun or is it me?

Hearing the instructor coming near, [Name] quickly looked straight. The man just walked by, until he saw [Name]'s form and began to shout at him immediately without mercy.

"You! Who the hell are you and from where?!"

Saluting, he shouted, "[Name] Knight, sir! From Shinganshina, sir!"

The tall man blinks when he takes a good look at the unusual eyes— and he remembers who he is instantly. He was the kid from the outside... He remembers that last name too well. A Knight, uh?

"And why the hell are you here, you maggot?!"

Without thinking much of it, a natural response left his lips, like an automatic reply or as if someone replied for him, "To free us, sir!"

"We'll see what a good for nothing like you would do against a titan, maggot!" He yelled, leaving him to go for another cadet. [Name] sighed, relieved he was gone. He wasn't a fan of being yelled or having to raise his voice.

" e —— ???? xxxx free!"

A migraine began to take effect on him, making a frown shift his gentle features. Not now, just wait a little more— it's almost over. But the headache didn't listen to the poor boy, and just began to hurt with more force. He gritted your teeth, bearing the pain. The sun didn't help his situation at all, too.

Thanks to the pain, [Name]'s mind was occupied on calming himself, making him lost any attention to other's peoples names or where the intimidating man was, and certainly, he didn't feel a pair of green eyes looking at him with surprise. When the headaches happened he ignored everything around him, specially when the pain was high. He didn't even noticed his friend getting head-butted by the instructor.

Somehow, [Name] noticed 'presentation time' was over by seeing all of the cadets walking off. Just, how much time has passed? Wait— where did he have to go?

Placing a hand on his head to control his headache, —that somehow worked— he heard someone approaching, making him turn just to see his friend Jean. He was frowning at him— was he worried?

"[Name]... again with the headaches?" He asked, gently placing a hand on his head, relieving a little pain feeling his warm hand, "maybe there will—"

Before he could finish, a new male voice interrupted him, along with three people quickly approaching both of them, "[Name]!!"

[Name]'s eyes immediately widened, "that voice..." Turning behind him, he meet with the determinated eyes he have always admired. They are alive!

Forgetting about the pain, [Name] tried to say something. But before any of the two of them could react, the brunette with green eyes have tightly hugged [Name], making both of them fall on the ground. But the amnesiac teenager couldn't feel any pain when he was overjoyed and happy— his friends were safe.

"[Name], we thought you were..." A gently voice could be heard, knowing very well who belonged it to. [Name] looks at the blond with soft blue eyes, who looks he's going to cry. "We didn't see you anywhere!"

The black haired girl makes Eren to stand by his disappointment, and quickly helps [Name] stand along. "We look for you when we could, but we never found you..." She says, looking at him as if she didn't believe he was there.. Her eyes looks gentle and soft, and a small smile appear on her delicate lips.

"Where the hell were you!?" The brunette angrily asked, surprising everyone by his outburst, "you didn't look for us, did you!?" Eren spoke with a different tone— he was upset. Mikasa and Armin looked at him in worry: the brunette always got mad when he thought about [Name] back then.

"I—I left as fast as I could with mom and... we got with the refugees and..." [Name] spoke shyly, not expecting such angry behavior this soon, "we went to Trost... and I lived there..." The amnesiac boy didn't find the words to reply back— just as he found his friends he felt fragile, feeling emotions at once.

"Did you think about us when you left?" He frowned, looking at is side feeling hurt, "to think I was worried you were... dead, and after all you—!"

"Hey!" Jean, who was pretty silent with the reunion, shout, getting their attention, shoved [Name] behind him, "[Name] saved his mom's and his' life first! At what you are so angry about?!"

"Aah?! And who the hell are you?!" Eren clenched his fists, not liking one a bit how easy he touched [Name]. This coward is [Name]'s friend?!

"None of your business, dumbass! But I won't stand here and hear your nonsense against him!" Jean could get protective over [Name], even if it wasn't that necessary. But seeing how this idiot wanted to make all of what happened his fault, that wasn't going to happen. He could see [Name] was troubled— he just reunited who the friends he thought were dead, but being pointed at while he was happy made him utterly upset.

"Eren!" Armin tried to calm him down, "[Name] is alive and with us again, aren't you happy?" Mikasa frowned, looking at Eren with concern. She could notice her brother had mixed feelings about finding [Name]— the ravenette knew his anger would disappear eventually, but he had to control it to not say hurtful things that could upset [Name]. But as Armin and she knew, he didn't think before speaking. Mikasa could notice [Name]'s frown from behind his friend— such a sad look that didn't belong.

Eren gritted his teeth, grunting. He knew he was being an idiot to make [Name] feel like this— but just as he saw him again... it made a mess with his feelings that he couldn't control well. At times like these it was better to walk off before hurting more. He gave one last pained look at [Name], "I— See you around, [Name]." He left, clearly mad. Armin gave one last tight hug to [Name] with Mikasa.

"Don't mind him, [Name]. He's happy to see you, you know? He's just... very sentimental as you know," Armin tried to laugh it off awkwardly.

"I guess... It's understandable," [Name] still had his sad look— he was really happy to see his friends again, but the feeling of guilt overcome his joy. Was it wrong to put his family first?

"I'm happy to see you again, [Name]." Mikasa gently spoke, smiling at him, "these past years had been difficult, but I'm glad you are alright with Miss Beatrice. We... we lost mom."

"And grandpa too..."

[Name] gulped. Carla, the pretty woman that always opened her doors for him, was gone too. Armin's grandpa was gone too. He couldn't understand how they were feeling after loosing their family like that. "W-What about Dr. Jäger...?"

She sighs, "we don't know," she looks at [Name] with a cryptic expression, "but seeing you here makes me glad you are safe."

"I'm glad I could see you again too," he attempted to smile, trying to make himself better. He hugged Mikasa and Armin, "I really missed you."

Armin laughed happily and Mikasa smiled warmly. Jean stood there awkwardly, frowning by what just happened before. The trio eventually finished the hug, pulling away. Both friends waved at [Name], saying they were going to unpack their things and find Eren. [Name] waved at them with a smile, feeling slightly better.

"You didn't tell me your friend was an idiot," Jean spoke, still angry.

"I didn't think he would be like that... but I guess he's still sentimental." [Name] sighs, rubbing his forehead, "at least my headache is gone."

Jean sighs heavily, already in a bad mood in the first day. Patting [Name]’s head, he spoke, “already the first day and I already hate someone.”

”Eren is not that bad. He’s just... reckless.” They began to walk to the dormitory.

“In other words, a dumbass.” [Name] chuckles, agreeing a little, "also, that girl is pretty..."

As they get into the dormitory, many of the people who were already there began to pick their beds. [Name] didn’t exactly care with who he had to share his bed with, but Jean certainly did. His friend hurriedly tried to find free shared beds, but he couldn't find any. Jean cursed mentally, grunting as he realized he wouldn't share a bed with [Name]. Could he be more unlucky today?

While Jean got angry in silence, [Name] already choose a free bed and began to unpack his stuff. Yawning, the boy couldn't wait to sleep already.

"Hey! Looks like we are sharing!" A freckled boy spoke to him, making him turn. He had dark hair and by just looking at his eyes there was no malice— only kindness. [Name] nodded, not knowing what else to say. Fortunately, the freckled male didn't back off, "I'm Marco Bodt, nice to meet you!"

"[Name] Knight. Nice to meet you, Marco."

Just as both unpacked their things Marco did most of the chatter. [Name] didn't mind him— his voice was soft and gentle. He liked hearing him, and the freckled didn't mind [Name]'s silence, so that was nice. It seemed he had notices [Name]'s unusual eyes too, but didn't say anything about them.

Jean's absence didn't last long. The irritated teenager found [Name], and as he saw his friend already being so comfortably with someone made him narrow his eyes in suspicion. He approached him, "[Name], you found a bed?"

Both of them turned. [Name] nodded, sitting on the bed as he stretched. "He's Marco."

"A-Ah! Hello!" Marco smiled, and Jean only stared at him with narrowed eyes. It was clear miles away this boy didn't mean harm— but why would Jean even care about that?

"Hi," Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck trying to calm himself, "I'm Jean."

"Uhm— what you said back there..." Marco spoke, not sure if to proceed but did nevertheless, "you were really honest."

"Hmn?" [Name]'s brow raised, "what happened?"

"You didn't see?" [Name] shook his head, noticing Jean's blush, "he got... well, he got head-butted by the instructor."

"He did?" [Name] couldn't hold his chuckle. Just imagining his friend being attacked by Shadis was funny, shame his migraine didn't let him see such show. "What did you say to get that?"

"It's not important anymore!" Jean yelled, clearly embarrassed, "anyways! We should change already— dinner will be in some hours so..."

"Oh, right! It's nice we don't have to do anything on our first day..."

[Name], already irritated by the tightness of his uniform, stood up from the bed and began to undress himself without any care.

Both boys noticed his actions, blush appearing on their faces immediately.

"H-Hey! [Name], what are you doing?!" Jean spoke trying to stop him, but only receiving a slap on his wrists.

"Undressing." He answered, unbuttoning his shirt.

Jean realized this was going to be until the end of their training— as the trainee corps had limited expenses, it was clear there was no "dressing room" or private showers. Every man and woman had to share and see each other without clothes, so their shyness had to go away forcefully.

Just the thought of seeing [Name] in the shower made him blush. Covering his mouth, Jean thought wasn't that bad after all...

Marco averted seeing [Name] taking his pants off, crimson appearing on his face. He tried to shake off the awkwardness of the situation, "w-well! W-Where are you two f-from?!"

Jean and Marco tried their best to hold a conversation without seeing [Name] changing without any care in the world. When he finished, the amnesiac teenager laid on the bed and told them to wake him up when it was time for dinner. Marco was surprised seeing him asleep in about five minutes, but Jean had explained [Name]'s favorite hobby was sleeping every time he could, so it was normal he fell asleep quickly. The freckled boy was rather impressed.

  From not too far away a brunette and a blonde saw everything with a blush on their faces.

"Idiot...!"

"W-Well! He really is the same, ah?"

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"[Name], wake up. It's time."

The amnesiac boy grunted, frowning as he opened his eyes lazily, spotting Jean. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stretched and yawned. Jean knew when [Name] woke up, it would be five or even ten minutes of him being semi-awake, so he had to take care of him in a sense of procuring to watch over his steps, where he was going or stop him before he could hurt himself. It was pretty ridiculous how sleepy his friend could be, but it didn't make him less adorable.

"Is he really awake?" Marco asked, looking at how somnolent [Name] looked. Was he really that tired before?

"Nope, but he'll manage."

[Name] stood from the bed, staggering a little. He took Jean's hand, but the other, nervous and embarrassed of the comment he would get from the others guys slapped his hand away. The amnesiac boy stared at him in confusion for the sudden rejection— strange. Jean, blushing, already began to walk to the dining hall to hide his blushed face.

Why did I do that?! Clenching his fist, Jean was clearly feeling embarrassed— he knew since before getting here this would be a problem. It seemed his pride was more important. "L-Let's go already!" [Name] tilted his head, yawning. He followed Jean, with Marco behind.

The freckled boy didn't understand what just happened at first, and stayed in silence. He took care of where [Name] was stepping on— the teenager almost went to sleep again while walking and almost hit himself with a wall. Can he sleepwalk...? Marco hoped he didn't.

When they got to the dinning hall it was pretty full, but they were just in time. Marco, seeing that [Name] looked still sleepy, told him to wait on a table while Jean and him returned with food. He happily agreed, instantly sitting on the nearest table, placed his arms on it and rested his head on them. Was he looking for the right time to sleep again?

"Is it normal that he sleeps so much?" Marco asked, taking two pieces of bread, two plates of soup and water.

"Don't know normal, but usually. I think the most he has slept was three days."

"W-What?!"

"Yep. Sometimes is impossible to wake him up— normally his mom would take care of this, but as he is here..." He sighs, "that won't be any good."

"Three days..." Was that even possible? Wasn't Jean exaggerating? "How normally has that happened?"

"I didn't really take track of it. But I noticed when he got bad headaches, and I mean bad, he fell asleep for some days."

"Headaches...?"

The time they were in line Jean explained [Name] state until they finished and returned to their table. The teenager still remained asleep, until Jean shook his shoulder to wake him up.

"Eat before it gets cold— it already is, somehow." He sit in front of [Name], and Marco besides him.

[Name] rested his chin on the palm of his hand, lazily taking bites to the bread. His eyes spotted his childhood friend Eren being surrounded by other people. He waved to Mikasa and Armin, receiving a wave and a serene smile from the ravenette and a grin from the blonde. It seemed Eren had already stated he was from Shiganshina, because [Name] could hear plenty of questions about how the titans looked like.

Jean was listening, and Marco, who grew more curious about it went to Eren's table to listen with the others.

It seemed a question hit a nerve. [Name] could only see Eren covering his mouth as if he wanted to vomit— after all, what happened to him was traumatic. He lost his mother, and who knows where his father was.

Jean's eyes shifted from Eren to [Name] respectively, noticing the worried expression his friend carried.

Just hearing the brunette speaking about joining the survey corps like [Name] made him more irritated than he already was. Nevertheless, he didn't let it show and preferred having some fun. "Wait a moment, are you crazy? Did you just say you want to join the Survey Corps?"

The brunette frowned at him, even more when he saw [Name] in the same table with him, "what about it? You are the one who wants to join the Military Police to take it easy, aren't you?"

[Name] just watched in silence, wondering what exactly Jean wanted to do.

Jean smirked, "What can I say? I'm honest. I prefer being that than try to act tough when in reality you are scared shitless." The comment seemed to annoy Eren, seeing him stand up with a glare directed at Jean. The taller teenager didn't seem bothered in the slightest— he stood up too and both teenagers approached each other. But whatever they wanted to do was interrupted by the sound of the bell, signalizing dinner time was over.

The taller male just smiled unbothered, "well, my bad. It wasn't trying to judge the way you think," he held his hand in a weak and fake attempt to release the tension, "let's let it go."

"Yeah... I guess I overreacted," It was clear to [Name] that Eren didn't accept the fake apology, seeing him just slapping Jean's hand. He seemed to leave, but before he did he looked at [Name] as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he didn't. Clenching his jaw, he averted [Name]'s prying gaze and left with a frown.

Would he be angry with me forever? [Name] stared at the table, upset. Mikasa and Armin weren't angry with him—and even if they told him Eren's anger wouldn't last that long he didn't fully believe them. Maybe he should speak to him... but how?

It seemed the time he had with Jean these two years had made him more sensitive about friendship, in some way. After all, he did felt some guilt about what happened. But what he could have done? He was just a kid.

"You okay?" Marco's gentle voice is heard, looking at his friend in worry.

"Yeah. I'm just... sleepy," he rubbed his eyes, "where's Jean?"

"Outside... I think someone's with him." He looked at the door, seeing Jean talking to a short guy.

[Name] didn't feel too lively now, and the only thing he thought about was laying in bed. He guessed he had to get up early in the morning tomorrow. Standing up, he took the last bite on his bread, not feeling hungry anymore. "I want to sleep already... I'm heading back."

"A-Ah, I'm going with you!"

Just as he wanted to leave, he bumped onto someone else, instantly hearing a shaky apology. [Name] blinked, lifting his gaze to meet someone incredibly taller than him.

It looked like the taller guy recognized him from somewhere, seeing his widening eyes.

[Name] knew those eyes.

"Ah— you are the one with pretty eyes from back then. And the one from when Shadis was yelling at us..." He spoke with his dull voice, not noticing some questioning gazes he got for the compliment. The brunette blushed, stuttering. "You are taller."

"You know him?" Marco asked, looking at both of them with prying eyes.

"Yes. We met in the refugee." He looks at him, "I never got your name."

"Uhm, B-Bertholt!" He seemed shy.

"Nice to meet you." He smiled, tilting his head.

"Bertholt! We—" A more deep voice came trough, but stopped when he saw company. It was a blonde and buffed guy— [Name] remembered him too. Seemed he did too, because his expression was the same as the brunette's, "Y-You are from back then!"

"There was someone else with you, wasn't it? Is she here too?"

"A-Ah, well, yes. She's around." The blonde smiles, "nice to see you again. I'm Reiner, by the way."

They both were going to the dormitory too, so Marco and [Name] stick with them. When they saw Jean outside they invited him to head back with them, but he had told them he was going to stay a little longer outside.

The four teenagers began to head back, and as expected, Reiner and Marco did the most of the talking, while Bertolt and [Name] quietly stayed in the back. The amnesiac boy looked carefully at the brunette, as if he was inspecting him. That only made Bertolt nervous.

He took Bertolt's hand, surprising the brunette. [Name] let out some hums and ah's, "you are huge. How did you get so tall...?" He compared his hand with the other's, looking at the difference while the brunette's face went red by the touch.

"U-Uhm, thanks...?" He said unsure— was that a compliment...?

"Tell me your secrets." Sparks appeared in [Name]'s eyes as he tightly hold Bertolt's hand. The brunette began to sweat, feeling shy and awkward by the touch.

"Uhm... Reiner..."

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Just as they got to their destination, [Name] wasted no time in throwing himself on the bed. Laying on his stomach, the pillow where he pressed his face on made his voice get muffled, "good night" he tried to say, ignoring any sort of conversation somebody wanted to have with him.

The three teenagers just saw him. He really was either lazy or just uninterested about everything.

"He sure likes to sleep a lot..." The freckled boy said, impressed. He knew it would be a pain to wake him up in the morning tomorrow.

The blonde laughed, "let's see who wakes up first— [Name] or Bertolt? Looks like you two have something in common." The comment received a grunt from his friend.

The three spoke a little bit before going to sleep, even when Jean got back. He wasn't surprised seeing his friend already asleep, and remembering he wasn't sharing bed with him made him grumpy before going to bed. Unluckily, his past thoughts about how handling [Name]'s touchy behavior made him pretty awake all night. Was it really a problem? Did he really pay attention of what others think about their relationship? Well, if they thought they were in one it was even better, wouldn't be? Even more if that jackass Jaeger knew about it. Just remembering the looks he gave them made him snicker. Unfortunately, that wouldn't matter if [Name] himself didn't feel anything romantically for him.

Fucking hell. Can this be more complicated?!

        L̸͔͇̰̬̆͜ơ̵̝̰̓̋̎̓̋̾̇͘o̸͔͖̯̟͍̓͛̍̔̿͘͝͝͠k̷̨͎͖͎͍̞͗̊͑͆̃̐͗̏͛́s̸͙͆̿͒̾͐͝ ̵͍̄͋̈́̒͝ͅl̸̨̉͗̒̿̀̌̃̈́̍̐͘̚̚͝i̴͖̮̼͓̤̼̼̬͚̥̥͉͈̬͛̒͗̚͠k̵̡̢̮̺̠̊͂͠ͅͅe̵̡̖̲̼̺̝̘͔̖̖̞͙̽̉͒̍̂̓̈́̄̽̍͆͠͝͠ ̷̡̭̟̼̭̙̠̙̮̹̞̈͗̾̈́͝͠ẅ̵̛̛̲̲̬͎̘̭̜̲̬͔̞́̎̐̒̋͌̈́̀͛̇͑̄ͅͅę̴̛̝̯͇̼̹͛̚ ̸̛̗̏̽̆̀̋̀̎̽̐̐̚̕͘͠a̴̡͔͔̱͖̤̦̣̺̫̠͑̈́̀ͅŗ̸̲̝̣̹̻̺͖̲̠̿̾̈̂̓ͅe̵̲͙̭̺̥̝͔̹̣̮̤̱͇̽̂̇̔̑̂͑͑̇̏͛͝͝ ̸̲̫̎͂̄̏̀͐̋͐̽͑̕͘͝r̷͇̞̣͍̱̳̗̳̱̞̗̉́̎̋̈̓̔͊̍̒͑e̸͖̥̠̭̰̩͂̓̋̉̌̄̋̂̑̓̈́̽͘u̵̧̧͎̹̱̜̥̫͓͕̞̓́̀̐̀̀̀͑͘̚n̶̝̗̟͠i̴̛͓̯̘̜̻͉̔͛t̴̨̧̗̬̯͖̺̀̃͂̒̃͂̃̍́̚͠͠ê̸̦͍̜̮͐d̷̨̨̓ͅ.̸͚̯̼̎́̈́̃̍͊̃̋͘ͅ

e m p t y / 9

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter nine  — new mornings

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They lived two years in Trost, but it took them one year to live on their own. Even with Lydia's protests —and Jean protested in secret, too—, Beatrice didn't want to be the burden she felt she was, and with her savings of the bread and pastries she did in the local bakery, it was enough for them to move to a house near the gates. Beatrice and [Name] couldn't stop thanking Lydia in opening the door of her home, taking them in as if they were family. [Name]'s mom had told him Lydia was a great friend in her past, before she moved to Shinganshina.

Even if the old memories of his past hometown tormented him in some way, along with his friends, he somehow enjoyed living in Trost. It was a nice place— Lydia was just as nice as Beatrice and Jean was a good friend. Before he knew it, their friendship went deeper and deeper, becoming really close. Jean always worried about [Name]'s headaches, every time trying to help in anything he could along with Lydia. The woman bought plenty of herbs with her own money to try and calm his migraines, and Beatrice nor [Name] could stop thanking her for it.

It become frequent how Jean couldn't stop himself and caress [Name]'s hair every headache— his eyes became softer when he frowned. It had become a reflex, somehow. [Name] didn’t mind— in fact, the teenager didn’t care at all about getting touchy. He liked taking Jean’s hand and play with it when they were bored sitting under a tree, or just lay his head on Jean’s legs to sleep.

At first it felt weird, but as Jean could feel butterflies in his stomach, he suspected what was happening. He got nervous when [Name] so normally and carelessly touched him like nothing, as if it was something anyone would do. Jean now believed Beatrice when she said [Name] was a social inept— all of what he was doing felt like they were lovers, and he didn’t even know it. Every time he did it, Jean blushed and averted looking at the boy, sometimes even evading touching him.

Jean knew very well what his feelings were but refused to believe it, it was obvious. Even his' and [Name]'s mom did. It was difficult to bear with it, even more when [Name] was oblivious about it. Why wasn't him more upfront? These couple years have made him more brutally honest than before, so why he couldn't confess to him? Was it fear? Maybe for rejection. Jean knew [Name] didn't know or wasn't interested in these topics— he had tried to question the boy before, but nothing came out of it. [Name] was uninterested, or maybe he have never felt something like that before, so he couldn't speak about it as if he knew.

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“So [Name]...”

”Hmn?”

”Have you ever liked someone?”

”Liked...?” He looks to the sky, “well, yeah.”

”Really? Who?” He tried his best to sound uninterested about the topic.

”You,” Jean’s face blushed at that, but before he could get his hopes up [Name] followed with, “my friends from my hometown too... specially Armin.” And with that Jean went to the beginning, frowning with a twitch on his eye.

”not that type of liking! I mean If you have liked someone as in... love." He blushed, embarrassed by such thing to say.

“Like the books our moms read?” And he did sometimes too. Beatrice loved reading, specially romance novels. Armin and Beatrice had taught him reading books would be a good thing for learning about emotions, in some way. It could have sounded stupid— how someone didn't know what they feel? But [Name] didn't. He felt like a vessel still— these past experiences have helped a lot to grow his sentimental side, but there was more to know.

”Weird example, but yeah, like these cheesy stories.”

”hmn...” he had never thought about it— well, he liked Mr. Erwin a lot, but not as in love. “Don’t think so.” Maybe Beatrice? She says 'I love you' a lot to him, but he doesn't know if it's that particular form of love Jean is saying. "What about you?"

"W-Well— of course," he tried to sound 'cool' if that helped, "I've going out with some girls and—"

"That's not true. You are always with me." [Name] looks at him with a raised brow, obviously not believing his lie. Jean's facade faltered, but the teenager tried to change the attention to another topic.

"A-Anyways!" He laughed nervously, "have you ever kissed somebody?! BECAUSE I HAVE!"

"Kissed..." He blinked, deep in thought. [Name] didn't remember kissing anybody, but the sudden feeling of doing it is there. He touches his lips, wondering. "I don't think so."

Jean gulped, trying to play it off, "would you... like to try it?" He knew very well what he was doing— [Name] was unaware of these things, but it wasn't as if he was taking advances out of him, right? It was just... something for him to learn.

The amnesiac teenager blinks, staring at Jean. According to these books, a kiss meant something special, a sign of love. [Name] didn't know what love certainly was, so maybe trying kissing Jean would make something different? "Okay."

"O-Okay?! I-I mean—! A-Alright," Jean gulped, blushing. His heartbeat is erratic— he didn't actually believe [Name] agreed of something like this. Good thing they are in the forest near the walls— it would have been too embarrassing being looking at. Both of them kneeled in front of each other, [Name] looking at him with his head tilted. Jean averted his gaze, trying to calm himself.

He sighs, ready. Getting near [Name]'s face, his hands shake. The amnesiac teenagers gets near too, but Jean freezes. His eyes widen, not knowing what to do. Surprisingly, [Name] is the one who initiates the kiss— his hand supporting on the ground to get nearer Jean as he closes his eyes. It's clearly an inexperience kiss— but Jean's heart felt like it was going to explode. It's such a gentle and soft gesture, a curious action. Before he knows it, [Name] is pulling away with a humn. Jean is completely red, he is happy about what just happened, but he knows he can't get his hopes up with [Name], remembering how he usually is.

Nobody talks— [Name] tilts his head, touching his lips while Jean is still shocked by the kiss. What did [Name] feel? Did he like it? Did he realize something?

"S-So, what do you think?"

"I don't know."

"W-What?"

"It's... different, but I don't feel something else about it," Jean's heart crashes as he hears these words. He had a little bit of hope something would change, but it seems it didn't. "You?"

The taller teenager sighs, clenching his jaw. "Same." His excitement and happiness fade away as quickly as they appeared. Maybe this would be the first and last time he took advantage of [Name] like this— a kiss was something hurtful but wonderful at the same time. 'Love' surely hurt a lot.

__ __ __ __ __

Love was something unknown for him, and for now, he didn't look interested by it. Jean hoped sometime he would have taken a more liking to him after that kiss, but Jean knew that was unlikely. So he hided his feelings, in hope of someday he could show them when the time was right. But obviously he took advances of [Name]'s touchy behavior— when he laid his head on Jean's lap, he played with [Name]'s hair. Or sometimes when the other rested his head on his shoulder, Jean would rest his head on the other's, smelling his hair.

This situation was annoying.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

Beatrice lived in fear of hearing those words— living the day he would leave to chase his dream. She didn't want to appear sad in front of her boy, so his anguish and sadness were showed with Lydia. The woman tried to comfort Beatrice as best as she could— but both of them knew their boys would leave them soon.

But it was time, and Beatrice knew from the start it was going to come sooner nor later. She always hoped he could change his mind, but his mind was set the first time he heard about the military. But she couldn't stop him, could she? She couldn't stop her husband nor son, and look what happened.

"Mom..." He spoke, stopping eating. Hearing such tone made Beatrice's heart hurt— that was it, "I'm going to enlist to the military."

She didn't say a word for some minutes, worrying [Name] by it. Beatrice had never got silenced over anything, but he knew he touched a sensible spot. She relieved some memories about her husband and a son he didn't know anything about— they left, enlisted to the survey corps and as many expected, they died in combat. It was painful and difficult to accept such thing again, but Beatrice can't forever hold a bird who wants to be free.

"Is that what you really want?" She hold her tears and her voice from breaking, but [Name] saw trough the facade easily. It was the second time felt something like heartbreak, seeing her like this. He stood up from his seat and keeled besides her, hugging her waist and resting his head on her legs. She caressed his hair, not holding the tears anymore. [Name] shut his eyes, some tears slipping and wetting Beatrice's dress.

"Yes."

"I see."

They stayed like that for a long time.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

It was pretty difficult accepting he was going to leave. Surprisingly, Jean was going to enlist too, but he had told his mother he was going to join the Military Police, and not the Survey Corps like [Name].

When Jean knew where [Name] was going to join in the end, he almost had a heart attack. He couldn't believe something so idiotic, reckless. Was he insane? But, most importantly, didn't he care they were going to... separate if that happened? They wouldn't see each other again. Jean was mad, and even when he voiced his worries to his friend he didn't listen.

"But what are you thinking?! It's the survey corps!" He tried to reason.

"Yeah, I know it's the survey corps. That's why I will join them." He stated, not bothered by Jean's yelling. The taller boy only got railed up by such behavior— didn't he care?

"But you could die, do you know that?" He desperately tries to talk a sense to him, "many of them don't come back!"

"I know, Jean. But... that's what I have to do." [Name] knew he had to join them— after all, they found him outside these walls. His answer had to be out there, somewhere.

"What you have to do?" He snorted, "aren't you thinking about Beatrice?" About me?

"Jean, I will join the survey corps. It was decided since the beginning."

"You don't care about anyone, do you?!" Jean couldn't stop his anger— [Name] was cruel when he wanted, even if he didn't mind to. He sighs, passing his hand trough his hair exasperatedly, "whatever." He left without turning back, he was angry and felt betrayed. Jean knew if he stayed any longer he would say things he didn't mean and turn the situation worse,

[Name] frowned, clearly sad about how things turned out. His hand tried to reach Jean, who disappeared without even sparing a last glance at him. He felt something heavy on his chest, and the same static noise overcome his ears. He did something wrong— but this is what he wants, and he can't turn back from his decision. But why is he feeling so sad? Just as he lost Eren, Mikasa and Armin? Was it so important to Jean where he wanted to go? It was his life— not his'. Was he being cruel? Just thinking about begin mistaken caused another headache to appear.

  P̵̣̫̱̮̼̲͔̰͈͙̈́̈̎̏̈́͠ī̷̞̥͍̙̓̈́̊͘t̷̛͕̝̓͐̓̋̄͑̎͋̉̊̈́̚̚ĩ̶͚̲͙̞̮̺͓̟͖͙̯̊̽͜͝f̴̡̺̬̟̭͙͕̙͚̯̟̹̱̹̩͐̈́̄̈͂̈́̈́͊̎̾̊̓̒͘ȗ̸̝̜͔̍̎̚ͅl̸̛̥͈̘̆̽̎͊̊͂͑̎͜ͅ.̵̧̢̢̛̮̘̤̭̳͔̈͒͗͒̔̍̇̈́̂͝͝͠͝ͅ ̸̨̦͔͙̫̙͉̝̭̣̮̫̤̪̎́̈̊̂̈́̓̆̋͝͝ͅD̶̛͖̹̣̲̘̫̭͕͔̊͒̾̃͊̓̊̀͂͊̕͝͠ǒ̶̧̧̢͉̳͉͔̪̻̠̗̲̜̒̄̀͜ͅn̶̮̻̮͍͔͚̲̝̮̪̖͇̠͂͌̀͌͂'̷̢̨̥̖̟̘̟̖̗̪̜̌̈́̋̃ͅͅt̶͒͐͊̈́̄̐̉̓͋̽̊̓͜͠ ̸̼͉̘͚̈́͛l̵̨͕͓̂͗̓̾̑̈́͠͠ͅị̷̛̭̹̺̂̌̇̊̐̀̍̎̂̋̔͘͠ş̶͕͔͈͎̻͖̪̀̏͊̌ţ̶̢̜͔̪̱͍͈̞̭̯͎͑̐͌͊̾͜͝ȩ̴̛̥̺̄̿̀͐͑͒̓̈́̋̄͋n̸̨̠͐̔͋͗̿͒͐ ̸̠͇̻͕̗͎̇̂̌̐̒̈́̕͝͝t̶͔̤̮͆͊̃͝o̵̡̪̦̙̲͆̈̂̑͜ͅ ̶̼̙̤͆͌͠ą̶̛͍͚̦͇͓̥̯̟͑̿̐̇̈́̈́̔̌̊ͅn̴̢̩̺̪̂̒̆͛̄̇̂ŷ̴̢̡̢̛̳͕̹̝̲̖̻̇͗͒͐̓͗̒͌̚ͅǫ̴̮͈̤̖͆̈́͑̃͆̾̌̿̐́͋̊͠n̴̠̬̫̪͐̈͑̇͌̅̎̓̑ȇ̶̡͇́̆̈́.̷̢̣̩̖̫͖͕̊͌̓̍͛̈́̌̂̓͘

But he's my friend...

Jean stopped talking with [Name] after that. The amnesiac teenager never felt so much sadness before— after all, Jean was his close friend. Beatrice could only guess what happened between them, and she couldn't possibly blame Jean. Seeing how [Name] stayed in his room all day made her worried— the boy was always under his blankets, and when he came down to eat, he was wrapped around his blankets still. Even if he looked so adorable like that, Beatrice couldn't feel happy when his expression screamed absolute sadness. She knew the best was for the two to talk it out, but seeing Jean nor [Name] tried to fix this, she decided to do a small step— talk to Jean. She have talked to [Name], but the boy didn't even wanted to leave to room.

When Beatrice talked to Lydia, the woman had realized something was wrong the moment her son returned so angry. He had come straight to his room and closed the door with such force that it was heard everywhere in the house. But he didn't shut himself in his room too much, thankfully.

When Jean came downstairs and saw Beatrice, he frowned and clenched his jaw. The woman could see his distress and maybe embarrassment— maybe he thought she would lecture him or something.

"Hello Jean," Beatrice smiled, hearing a small 'hi' from the boy as he sat down with her, "I know you know why I'm here for, right? But don't worry, I'm not mad at you."

Jean didn't spoke, rather, he looked down as he crossed his arms.

"[Name] is sorry about what happened— it's not that he doesn't care, it's more that... he really wants to know what's outside. He cares a lot about you, you know? But you know how he is with his feelings."

The boy doesn't talk. Rather, he sighs heavily, trying to think. If [Name] was just a neighbor he barely knew, he couldn't care less, but he wasn't. It was his friend, the person he liked— his life. Why he couldn't just stay with him?

"It's stupid," Jean said, "joining the survey corps? Is he insane?"

She chuckled, "I know. But you can't trap a bird forever, Jean. It will eventually fly away when they see the opportunity— that's how [Name] is. He has his mind set, and he will not change any time soon, even if the world tells him otherwise."

"Aren't you... angry?" Jean asked, frowning. Was she okay with the fact [Name] was going to join the survey corps? And possibly die?

She smiled sadly, looking down, "Not angry... just sad," she looks at Jean, "you can't decide or force someone to decide what to do with their life, can you? Just look at it in reverse— if [Name] tried to reason with you to join the branch you don't want to be, would you? After your mind is set?"

He fell into silence. But it was different, right? The Military Police was safe. The Survey Corps wasn't— both of them could live together, even. Nevertheless, imagining [Name] bugging him to join together would only irritate him. Averting Beatrice's gaze, he crossed his arms in defeat,

"I can't make him, can I?"

"Not even me." She smiles, but not a happy one. It's empty, and Jean can see trough it, "oh, and also..." She laughs, "you should do something with these feelings of yours."

The teenager's face becomes red at hearing the call out— he frowns, trying to ignore his blush. "W-What feelings?! I'm mad at him! Not- Not in..."

"Love?" She chuckles, "just remember one day you two won't be together. Time doesn't wait, so be fast."

He groans, rubbing his neck. Beatrice claps, widening her eyes with a devilish grin.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him! My boy has become reaaaally handsome, Jean. I'll say act fast!"

"M-Miss Beatrice!"

"I'm just saying, dear!"

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

The amnesiac boy was miserable. Jean didn't want to talk to him, and [Name] didn't insist after that. If he didn't want to talk, then that was fine. But [Name] couldn't stop feeling so... sad. If it was Eren who fought with, his younger self wouldn't have cared as much as he did now. Since when did he change? Well, maybe it wasn't if he changed or not— he liked Jean. He enjoyed being with him and he helped him with his headaches, and more importantly, his voice wasn't annoying. [Name] grunted, hiding his face under the blankets.

[Name] didn't answer when he heard a knock on his door— he didn’t even paid attention of who the footsteps belonged to. Not until the person spoke, recognizing Jean.

”[Name]? Are you there?”

Jean? [Name] turned at the door, still wrapped around his blankets. He blinked,

"[Name]...?"

The amnesiac boy quietly got up from his bed, slightly opening the door just a little gap, his tired eyes prying outside the room to see Jean. The other jumped in surprise by the squeak the door made, along with seeing the unusual dull eyes looking at him.

"Can I... come in?" He gulped as [Name] fully opened the door for him to enter, closing it after. The amnesiac boy sit down on his bed, still covered in blankets. Honestly, Jean thought he looked adorable like this— but that wasn't important right now!

There was silence. Surprisingly, [Name] was the one who spoke first.

"I don't want you to be mad at me..." He looked down, playing with his fingers. His plain expression was the same, but his tone of voice changed. It was like a hurting child.

Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck. He didn't like being mad with him either— but he was justified, wasn't he? Maybe not but... he didn't like the idea of joining the survey corps one a bit. He wouldn't, that wasn't for him at all.

"Me neither," He sat down besides [Name], who didn't look at him still. "It's just... I don't want you to... die."

"I won't." He looked at Jean with a different expression he couldn't pin point, "I promise."

"Yeah yeah..." He didn't believe it— but knew [Name] was strong. Even if he still didn't accept hat he wanted to do, maybe, just maybe he could change his decision in the future, right? "I'm not mad, okay?" He looked at him with a clear frown in his face. Jean wasn't happy, neither angry— just... sad about not getting his way this time.

Silently, [Name] wrapped him around his blankets too, sharing them. "Joining branches will take time, so let's enjoy our time together." The corner of his mouth slightly raised, taking Jean's hand. He blushed clearly— how couldn't he? "Let's lay down."

Obeying, the two boys laid together on the bed, looking at each other. Jean averted looking at [Name] with a blush, while the other looked thoughtful. Can he hear my heartbeat??? Fuckfuckfuck—

"I haven't told you the reason why I want to join." That gained Jean's interest, forgetting about his little problem, "but don't tell anyone, alright?"

Then, he explained his first memory, who and how they found him and how he met Beatrice. Seeing it like this Jean understood, but wasn't he scared after seeing the titans? He never understood how the titans didn't scare him off when they took over Shinganshina— he admired him in secret, but he wouldn't say that out loud. Even so, it interested him where [Name] was from— that was why his eyes were different from everyone's? But outside the walls... that was impossible. No one lived outside— only titans.

"So that's why you want to go..." He closed his eyes, blushing, "just because I stopped being mad doesn't mean I still like the idea, o-okay?!"

The sound provided from the amnesiac boy surprised him— [Name] was chuckling. It was the first time hearing him like this. After all, him reacting like this was something rare. "Okay," he answered as he closed his eyes, "let's sleep."

Jean looked at [Name], still blushing. He was so... handsome but pretty at the same time. He looked so peaceful and gentle like this. Jean would never ever in his life would say that he always watched the boy in secret when they shared the bed together when they were younger, along with many secrets and memories he will hold everyday. He didn't want him to go someday— the thought only made him angry. This wasn't fair.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him!"

Remembering Beatrice's words made him almost grunt, covering his face. He wouldn't allow that! ...Would he?

  B̵̡̨̹̰̝̙̱͎͖̙̙̯͖̬̿̿̀̀̎̊͌͝ḙ̵̡͓͕̙͙̳͚̬̠͐͐̓̌̉̒͘͝͝ì̸̧̟̝̟̥̠̺̦̫̯͈͗̌̈́̒͂͑͆̄̈́̀̓͜͠n̴̨̡̪̗̜̮͇̳̮̟̼̗͇͒̋̊ͅͅg̴̥͇̼̹̮̻̼̬͉̺̲̝͐͊̏͋͑͜ ̵̢̺͑̃̈́̈́̈́͆̅͂̚̚̚ẅ̶̻̲͕͚͖̕ͅį̶̯͓͆͌̕͜͝t̷̜͉͎̫̘̝̠̣̰̲͕̫͓́̎͂̎h̷̺̼͕͔̹̪̮̜͚̯͐̎̉̎͐̇̽͒̃͝ͅ ̴͔̲̻̺̙̉̀̅̃̿̊͒̋̎̓͆̚̚̚ơ̸͎̜̜̣͊̔̂͊̉̌́͆͆̑̓͗t̶̘͇̟̦̩̞̰͉̱̰̖̜̱͕̐̆͋̒̈́͆͋͝͠͠͝ͅh̴͚͐͊̊̌̇ͅͅȩ̸̳̤̪̖̹͈̥͔̩̠̥̅̄̔̅̈́͋̓̒̚͝͝r̸͖͙̖͓̆s̴̨͙͔̦͙̃͑̅̈́͒̏̇͆̈́̾͊͝ ̸͓̹̫͇̺̭͉̙͗͜ȏ̵̺̘̱̮̜̟̗ņ̴̛̳̖̮̝̒̈́͋̽̌̅͊͊̚͝͠͠͝ͅl̵͍̻̜̖͑̋̿̃̈́͝ͅy̷̢͎͉͙̖͔͍̜͉͓̩̣̼̅̏͘ ̸̨̧̳̱̆̽̉̐͝w̴̧͚̗͎͍̳̣͇̣͍͍̜̣̔̒̅ǐ̷̤̦̰̫̱̃͌̈ͅl̷̡͚̰͔̼̩̦͖̬̼͍͖͗̒̐͝l̶̡̙̳͖̘̤͋̑̈́̈́̅̓̈́́̄̃̋͠ ̶̬̻͉͉̞̞͙̝̺͖̂ͅc̷̢̣͙̝̞̻̬͔͙̕ǎ̶̡̘̝̥̳̪̮͔̫̒́̆̈̀̐̏̑̕͝͠u̸͓͛̈́̌̑̐̅̒̆̿͆̋s̷̗̙̙̩̰̮̤̤̼̥̪͓̝̰̎̍̒̿͆̏͆̓̍̚͝ͅe̸͖͈̺͓̪̽͌ ̴̛͖̲͓̟̳͍̤̍͌̅̔̒̽̍̽͘̚h̵̢̡͚̺̩̻̉͂̓ī̴͔͇̙̝̓̓̿̐͗̈́̒͝m̴̥̘̱̦͚̹̱̳̻͂̂͗̏̾͌̑̿̆̂̃̄́̅͜ ̸̢̨̢̛̼͎͈̫̲̗̬̺̞̞̅̍͑̈́̍̚ͅš̴̨̝̻͙̘͇̞̠͕̠͎̫̐̈́̌͘͠͝͠͠u̷͚̝̗̜͉͔̪̙̣̪͓̦̝̲͗̐́̿̈́͋́͠f̸̢͙͈̲̘̙͈̱̈̾͒̊̕f̶̧͖̬̻͖͙̥̫̆̾͆́͒̀́̽̀̇̇̾ͅḙ̷̢̡͍͕̟͉͓̮̲̰͕̙͓̋̂̆͠ŗ̷̛̬͓̼̲͍̻̰̥̜̙̺̓̂̇͑̆̄̕͘͝͝͠į̴̜̬̹̥̘͚̘͉̲͎̜̆̈́͑̓n̷̥̏g̷̻̳̯̞̬͚̘̯̿̿.̴̧̹͖̱͔̙͙̳̣̾̂̕ͅ

L̴͚̗̄̂͐̏͐̆̓̕ĕ̶̡̤̳̠̹̪̹̰͔͕̑̏͌̈́ͅt̵̢̳͓͈̃̏̈́͗͗̌̈̄̀̓̄̆ ̶̭̹̦͕̞͈̲̙̙̺̈́̓̋͌̒̎̂̅̀̚̕͝͠ͅţ̴̧̡̱̥̲̥̗̲̮͇̜̬̙̳̈̏̍̾͋̽̎̆̈́̋̎̐̕͝ẖ̸̡̛̳̙̞̪̫̫̮̺͇̳͇͔̞͌̾͑̍̒̚̚͘͝͝e̸̼͐̈͋̑̀̅͐͆̓̕͠ ̶̨͖̯͇͖͓͍͓̩̍̌͂̅̈́b̷̢͈́͂͒̂̍̂̈́̍̎̏̉͊͆͘ơ̷͈̼̝̩̰̭̥̻̩̿̿̒́͜y̶̭̽̈́̈́͊̈̆͠ ̵͙̜̻́̇̆̓̑̌͊̾̌͛̎̑́͠b̷̧̥͍͍̞̍̑ę̴̧̯̗̩̥̭̰͕̓̃́̍͂̄͋̓̐̄̌͛̃̕͜.̴̧̬̫͚͔̭̝͉́̓͌̑̂̉̈̊͠ ̸̨̡̨̛̬̳̺̪̪͇͐͛́̑̾̈́̽̓͗̒̈́̚͝͠ͅY̶̜̪̟̳͍͖̥̼̭͉̭̼͐́̂̓̑̎́̇̋̕͜͝ͅớ̷̠̮̬̲̒̍̎͑̑͐̕u̶̢̢̮̺͓̘͈̠̟̰̱̞̥̣̓ͅ ̶͉̠̲̣̖͊̍̾̀̅̋̏͜k̵͈͂̒̋̃̽͊̈́̽̈́͆͂n̸̛̜̠͉̳̤̥̟̘̟̬̻͕͇͆̍̊̑͋̈̾̄̉̀͊͘̚͜ͅo̸̡̮̗͇̺̦̺͚̱̠̞͓̭̓̐̕ͅŵ̸͙̉̉̈́̑̎̌̓͊̅̿̒͝ ̶̡̟͍͙̜̽̅͑͌̑͜͜͝͝w̸̡̩͈̩̹̤̙̝̒̑̾̂̌̎̚͠h̷̺̜̖̒̈́̓͝ă̶̜̥̖̘͔̹͐͐̓̈́̀̅̊̐̌̈̍̀͘͝t̵̗̥̲̚ ̷̨̩͗̍̈̈́́̈́͑̓̋̈̕͝ẉ̸̛̽͆̎͗̉͌̂̓̈́̃̿̋̍͜͝ĩ̴̛̛͍̺̣̲͍͋̀̀́͊̍͝͝l̷̛̠͚̰̊́̉̒̏͐̓̐͘̕̕l̸̬͍̤̠͓̠̬̃ ̷͍̥̭͉͉͍̞͔͎̯̺͎̑̾͌̾̈́h̶̨̢͖̯̫̮̭͑͜ẩ̷̰̩͙̰̲̳̹͗̊̑̈́̂͝͝p̴̡̡̛͇͎̮̟͍̥̯̂̔͜͠p̷̫̤̝̗̣͎̃͋̉͑́̋̈̎̾͌͝ͅẽ̶̼̠̳̙̬̉͒̾͂̄̂̽̍̍̐̈͠͝n̸͚̲̤̹̘̥̼̉̅͗̏̔͆̈̕͘̕ͅ ̴̨̛̛̟̦̬̺̫̣̯͓̜͖͎͆̍͑̄͗̑̊͘͝ļ̸̣̫̖̫̘̎̈́͋͌̿̽̊͑̚͠ả̷̩̣̮̫̐͊̽͊̃͠t̷̺̣̘͋e̶̙͓̯̜̭̗̥͉̫̎͛̆̀̓͊̚͜͜͝ͅr̴̩͔̗̔͛.̸̧̖̤̰̱̻͓̂͊

  [Name]'s whimpers took his attention. The amnesiac boy was frowning, and Jean knew exactly what was happening.

"Your head again?" He unconsciously placed his hand on [Name]'s forehead, worried. The touch somehow calmed him a little.

"I tried to remember— bad choice." He sighed, hiding his face onto Jean's chest, making the teenager blush completely again. He knew [Name] could hear his heartbeat— calm yourself! Clenching his jaw, he hugged the boy closer, looking at the side in shyness. He had to enjoyed while it lasted— soon they will be in the military, and doing things like this in front of everyone would be embarrassing, wouldn't be? He only wished time didn't go as fast.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

This was the day.

[Name] packed his stuff with the help of his mother, she doing most of the talking. She didn't want to cry, so the best she could so was to keep her mind occupied in talking and helping.

"You are such a handsome boy now, I can't believe it..." She sighed, "You are getting taller too..."

"Do you think so? Jean is still taller than me."

"He had grow up so much too... And to think it has been only two years." She laughed, "I can't wait to see how the military has shaped you."

They finish quickly, after all it isn't much. They leave the house, stopping at the entrance. There's silence— both of them see the path where everyone is going. After all, today was the day to enlist, and many teenagers were already leaving their homes. [Name] turns to see Beatrice, who is deep in thought.

She sighs, "you can come back if you can't take it, alright? No one will think less of you!" She takes him and kisses him all over, receiving a chuckle from [Name].

"Okay, mom."

"Don't forget to visit! I will sent you letters, okay? If I can I will sent you some cookies too!" She kisses him, "do your best, and make a lot of friends, please? When you come back in your free time, come with your friends! A lot of food will await you."

With a last hug and more kisses, [Name] leaves. When Beatrice can't see him anymore, tears fall from her face as she tries to hold her sobs. She wipes them, but the tears won't stop from falling. She's horribly sad and broken, but she knows this is the right choice for him. After all, he belongs somewhere else.

"Please come back safe..."

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"There you are," Jean says, already waiting for him in their usual spot. They agreed to go together, as always, "thought you changed your mind."

[Name] let his tongue out, making Jean snort. "Never." They return on their walk, following the others teenagers to their new future.

I hope... they are there.

T̵̨̨̛̠̤͇̩̩͈̤̪͖̮̜̜̼̣̳̟̝̫͒͒͂̽͛̒͑̍̇̒͆̚͝h̶̩̜̳͔͍̱̳̺͍̲̩͔̥̠͍͚͈̑̃̐̾̇́̓͐͑̔̚͝e̶̫̭̬̩̰̝̬͎̰̿͋̓̒̅̉̉̎͗̕͜y̵̨̢̲͓͇͓͔͓͐̽̃͆̿̓̕͘ ̶̛̣̗̪̙͒̑̊͂̈́͒̏̔ẅ̷̢̧̨̛̬̗̮̳̣̙͉̟̫̣̬̮̲̲̬͔̑̓̒̉̾͠ḭ̵̬̲͉̱̲͕̱͕̞͉̯͎̯̘̤̙̠̻̽̽͋̀͑̓̂̍͆̉̽͐̍͑̋ͅl̸̢̡̧̬̟̞̻̩͈͓̙̙̻̺̲̭̤̦̼͉̖̩̻̩̣̓͗̐̊̓ͅļ̵̧̢̢͖̼̤̲̩̙̥̖̘̜̭̗̫̗̮͓͔̗̦̗͖̱̎̃̇̈́̊͋͑͌̓̀̐̀̏̔͋͋͋ͅ.̷͎̖̲̈́̋̑̈́̅̈́͆̈̓͛̾̐͊͋̐̓̌̈́̔͑̔̑̔̽

e m p t y / 8

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter eight — after dark

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The travel to the refugee was awfully slow. [Name] felt horrible all the way there, bearing the voices of adults and children suffering around him. Not even Beatrice hugging his head on her chest calmed his nerves. The poor boy still thought about his friends and what they where doing. If they were still alive.

He knew when the boat stopped because Beatrice told him as she got up, helping him stand up. [Name] hugged her leg, trying to hide from nothing in particular. He was tired, and so was Beatrice. Everyone followed the soldiers who guided them to the refugee, every person with torment in their expressions.

“Everyone! Get in line for the supplies! Women and children first!” A soldier yells to all the people, guiding them to where the food was. Multiple boxes were placed behind a desk where another soldier was preparing the supplies.

The soldier guided the women with their children first. Beatrice and [Name] got bread and water— the soldiers had said if they gave more there wouldn’t be more supplies for the next boats. Some people began to shout and yell against it, but the word was final. Beatrice thanked the officer and took [Name]’s hand, walking to the opposite direction of that place.

“What is going to happen now?” [Name] asked, not feeling hungry at all. His huge appetite was gone after such thing.

Beatrice was deep in thought. She had no family outside Shinganshina— her parents passed away a long time ago. Her husband’s family had practically dishonored him, and they wouldn’t talk to them. She knew if they go to where they were, they wouldn’t be welcomed. It would have been just a waste of time and energy.

“Maybe..." She whispers, nodding to herself, "we'll go to Trost. I have a friend who may take us in, if not..." She looks at [Name]'s eyes full of worry, but she smiles to calm him. "We'll manage, like we have always done, right?"

"Yeah..."

"I'll go to ask something to the soldiers. Stay here, alright? I'll come back quick." Beatrice smiled at him and left, leaving him alone. [Name] sat on a empty box far away from the group of people, resting his elbows on his knees.

He was upset, but he couldn’t cry. There was no sight of his friends here— he didn’t even hear them. Were they alright? Were they still inside that mess? He couldn’t even sent a letter— to where? They had no home. Shinganshina was no more. His house, Beatrice’s and his’ stuff... only the memories remained. But was that even a good thing? He couldn’t just resign— he couldn’t let them win.

[Name] frowned, feeling rage inside him. His home was lost, but not forever. Until he grows and enlists to the military, their home could at least have some possibilities to be regained. He just had to enlist to the survey corps and be free.

Where did we hear that before?

W̷̨̜͈̫̥̜͍͕̪͉͎͇͙̆͐̒̋͂̆̐̊̋͌̓̉̈́͋̾͝͝͠ē̷̡̲͇͖͙̭͓̹̃̓̓̈́̓͊̄̍̿͑̈́̈ͅ ̴̜̝̞̳͈̳̩̘̠̥̙͇̥̋̔̍̕͜a̶̢̛̯͇̠̙̺̦̹͇͍̤̤̬̜̾͗̒͆͌̔͛̃͐̈́͂͆̀̐̆̾r̷̢̡̡̞̱͙̤͙̪̟͉̪̘͕̳̗̓̇̾̊̒͝e̶̢̡̧̮̹̩̅n̷͙̜̩͖̹͍͇̖̯͗͂̓̄ͅ'̸̧̧̖̼̙́͋̍̃̔̄͛͊̌͘ẗ̸̛̟̪͙̼̽͂͗̔̄͆̆̍̍͗̋̾̑͠ ̶̧̛͉͈̤̲̹̬͎͔͕̬̹̈̏͂͒̾̊̒͌̽͗̍͐͘͝f̷̛̜̝͓̫̹̰̞͈̜̺̜̿̽̓̒̈́̊̾̐̏͌̈́̓̕̕͝͝r̸̛̖̽̒̓̀͌̾͆̌͝ē̷͕̻͙̘̥̼̟̱͙̳̜̠̖̟̪̰͆̐̍̃̅́̾͆̾̇͑͝ͅĕ̸̢̳̘̘̺̞͈̻͍̣̎̽̈͆̈́̂̑͗͘ͅ.̵̨̰̙̘̻̘̭̞̯͖̠̹͕͋̉͌̓̇͗

A huge pain felt on his head, making him whimper and hold it as he frowned with his eyes closed. He heard a voice, but he couldn’t understand what it said. Like the whisper he heard before— but this was different. Whatever it was caused him a lot of pain. [Name] wondered now what could he get to calm his pain, now that Dr. Jaeger wasn’t here no more. Did he make it? Did miss Carla make it too? So many people he wondered about could be lost, hurt, or even dead.

He was hurt.

Now that his headache was over, the boy’s eyes wandered around. He didn’t want to see the horror and misery some people had on their faces, so he averted them completely. It was enough with the sounds of their voices and the cry of children for his ears. When is Beatrice returning?

His [hair color] eyes catch something falling— bread? As three kids pass trough, not noticing they lost something. The boy stands up, taking the food from the floor and hurriedly walks to the three kids, immediately taking their attention. “Hey! You dropped this,” they turn around, and when [Name] meets the gaze of the tallest kid, he can’t help but wondering something, blinking repeatedly.

“Oh? Uhm, thank you.” The blond speaks first, taking the bread [Name] is handing over. It is noticeable the [hair color] haired boy is focused on their taller friend, and he can help but grow worried by it.

“Uh... a–are you ok?” The taller kid gently speaks, while the blonde girl stares at the quiet boy in front of them, wary.

The amnesiac boy tilts hid head, confused by the familiar feeling the tallest boy’s eyes have— it was... as if he saw them before. Somewhere else, but he can’t remember. “Have we met before?” He bluntly asks, getting slightly near the kid, seeing his eyes.

The sudden question does shock them a little— they are sure they have never meet this kid before, that was for sure. And even so, they don’t recognize from nowhere.

“I—I don’t think so!” The tall boy sweats, gulping.

The blond girl focuses on the stranger kid— but blinks repeatedly as she focuses on his unusual eyes. Her own eyes widened slightly, as if she recognizes him. Her expression returns to normal in a second, crossing her arms.

“Your eyes... are different.” She speaks loudly, making her friends turn at her in surprise before focusing on the kid’s eyes, holding their shock. They look at each other as if they were reaffirming something, but [Name] doesn’t notice or cares about it.

The [hair color] haired boy blinks unbothered, “they are.” [Name] lets out an ‘ah’, remembering where he had to be right now. Beatrice had told him not to leave the spot, thing that he obviously did. “Sorry for the sudden... question, but I have to return. Good... luck?” He tries to finish the weird interaction, his social skill obviously lacking. He turns around to leave, but the male blond takes his hand before he does.

The blonde reacts first before he leaves, taking his wrist. But as soon as they touch, the amnesiac boy feels a shock. [Name] feels in a daze for a couple of seconds, as if he’s seeing something that isn’t there, but it seems the other kid didn’t feel the same thing because he doesn’t react. "Wait! What’s your name?”

T̴̛̬͒̈̅͗͘̕h̷̩͓͉̝͂̂̇̈́̍̿̈́́̐̿̎̿̒̚ĕ̷̢͕͎͉͈̠̲̝̞͈̪̲̗͔̲̯̣̬͚̓̽̈͊͒̋̔̈́̑̃̅͝y̵̨̨̝͕̺͂͒͋̏̂̈́̈̉͒̉̒̃̓̒̐̔̚͝͠ ̷͈̉̾͌̈́̾̃̀͑̌ͅä̸̜̺͈͖͇͕͍̣̜̝̫͕̦͉̂̇͋͊̌͐͐̋͂͘r̴͚̦̞̗̙͚̽̀̾̌e̸̡͍̥̮̱͎̠̤̩͕͛̓̎̾̌͐̈̍̿͌̉̊̚͜ ̴̠̪̉̾͋͆̌͗̕͘͝h̴̛̛̜̲͎̘͚͉̪͓̎̒̊͋͌̅̋̀͂̓̋̈́̓͐͑̈́͂̊̚͜ĕ̷̡̽̈́̐̀͑̏̎̔̎͘ȑ̴̨̧̢̨̯̪̭̥͍̲̰̭͎̟̳͎̳̮̯̻̍̎́ë̷̛̲̺̳̯͇̲̥͙͖̠̫̯̹̪̬͙̠̮͇̖̉̊̉̌̅͑͑̑̍͗̏ ̵̧̥̣̟̹̄̆̊̆̄͛̏̅̅̑̿͊̈́̐̚̚͜͝͝͝ȁ̴̡̡̢̧͚͓̳̘̰̮̤̠̼̪̟̩̭͇̳͒l̵̨̲̫̜͖̪͉̙̝͈̞͇̪̬͔̠̺̺̖͍̼͒̆͛͒̋̌̓̾̑̅͗̂̑͆̉̿̕͝r̶̤̱̙̖͎͍̭͙̳̬̐̐̑ȩ̷̣̫͔͓͚̺̯͆̋͗͆̀̔̽̈̂͜͜͝ą̵̡̹̤͎̪͙̟̙̰̻͙̝̺͕̖͉̍̽͛̇͂̐̊̋̏͂̂̉̊͐̓͌̄͂͜͝ͅd̵̡̛̟̲̉͗͂͌͛̓̏͌̆͗̎͌̕͝͝͝ỷ̶̡̼͎͇̮̫̹̝͎̭̱͙̲̟̞̀̌̿͘͜.̶̨͙͔̪̣̮̠̋̈́͒̈́̓̐̈́̂̒̿͂̀̾̐̀͝ͅ

“[Name].” He answers bluntly, blinking and shacking his head to shake off the weird feeling.

“Uh— and where are you heading to...? Did you lost your home?” He pries, looking carefully at the boy.

“I’m going to Trost with my mom.” He wonders, “what about you?”

“We have nowhere to go to. We... lost our home.”

“I’m... sorry. But at least the three of you are together... I can’t say the same about my friends.” A somber look passes his face, a pain crossing his chest.

“You lost them.” The blond girl says, avoiding looking at him. They visually cringe at the revelation.

“I haven’t find them yet.” He tried to have faith. [Name] didn't want to believe he lost them.

“So you are not sure...?” The brunette pries, a little shy.

“I hope not. I... I have hope, if that helps.”

“W–What do you plan to do next?”

[Name] tilts his head, looking at the floor as he thought about before. His rage didn’t fade off— he was sure he would enlist in the military as soon as he could. There was no going back. “I’m enlisting.”

“Enlisting? To the military?” The girl spoke, raising a brow. [Name] nods. “For what?”

The stoic boy answers instantly, “to explore what’s behind these walls.”

“Why? Weren’t you there when the wall broke?”

“And?”

“And? You saw the titans! Aren’t you scared?!” This time the blond interfered, a look of shock plastered on his face.

“So being scared means I won’t do nothing?” He crosses his arms. “My home is lost— I can’t let it be just some memories.”

The children see him in amazement, well— only the two boys. The girl is wearing her usual frown, still looking at his eyes. “So you will enlist when you’re old enough?”

“Yeah," he blinks, "what about you?”

“We don’t know yet.” The blonde says hurriedly.

“[Name]!” The boy could hear Beatrice calling for him, making him turn around.

“What?”

“Mom’s calling for me.” He turns to see them, “I have to go now.”

“Well then, hope we can see each other again.” The blond boy tries to smile at him, receiving a nod from the expressionless kid.

Before leaving, [Name] looks at the brunette in the eyes, softening his gaze a little. The taller kid gulps unsure of what to say or do, and chooses not to say anything and just wait.

“Your eyes are pretty.” The sudden compliments makes the brunette blush— but he couldn’t say anything as the kid was walking away already. The three children stay put, looking at the unusual boy leaving with hurry. What a strange meeting... and rather lucky one.

“One thing to care less about.” The girl speaks, crossing her arms as her eyes follow the kid.

The children walk away. The blond boy frowning, the brunette still blushing and the girl looking behind her.

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“Good news! There’s a boat going exactly at Trost just now. They are making people get on already, so let’s hurry!” She took his hand and walked hurriedly to the boats’ direction. "If we get on right now we can arrive in one hour!"

[Name] noticed she looked rather happy. She was smiling— maybe to calm him. What happened was traumatic, even if they didn't have to face the titans like other people did. Even seeing them from afar was scary... [Name] wondered how Eren, Mikasa and Armin managed. If he had accepted that lunch invitation, what would have happen to him? Would he be with them right now? Maybe he could have helped them if he noticed sooner...

Ẁ̴̡̞̝͚̲͎̲̬̩̖̺̥͊̋̅̈́̏̊̅̆̽́̌ḧ̷̡̧̳̗̣̱̜̺͇̺͍́͆̃̓̽̈́͑̿̆̃͝͠͠a̷̛͓̒̔̎̎̋̆̃̚͝ẗ̵̛̙̻̖́͒̈̍̈́͑̀͂̋͘͝ ̴̗̟̠̪̮̬̪̦͙͖̯̝̊̓̾̅̈́̾̅̓̽̆̾̈̚h̷̼͉̿̽̿͒͊̀͛̊ȩ̸̢̢͎͚̝͓̞̘̬̩̭̭̍͐̈́̑̽̂̋͂l̴̢̢͕̩̰̝̜̲͑́̈́̎̈́̓̅͐̀͜͝ͅp̴̖̐͌̀̿̋͊̔̚͠ ̷̨̧̘̠̼̹̼̰̪̯̯̻̳̓̈͗̊̈́̂̽͑͑̑̽̈̒͠͠c̵̲̜̙̻̳̰͇̦̺̪̼̰̥̊̒ȯ̶̼͕͇̲̫̤̞̪͊͗̏̑̐͑̈́̔̊̅͆͜ư̷̡̩̳̝̼̦̯̬̹̯̮̥̼͂̍̚͝l̷̨̟̠̖̟͎̀̋͂͗̉̔̇͑͌͘͠d̷̨̤̺͚̬͚͉̿͝ ̸̺̟̺͔̟̭̣͔̠̯̪͆͜y̷͖̍̉̑͂̚o̵̧̢͔̖͔͍͈͖̫̯͙͍̪͚͑̋̎̋͋͑̀̈́͆̇̚͝͝͝ű̵̧̲͇̺͔̅̉̋͠ ̸͇̜̠͎̗̣̰͔̼̳͇͛̅h̸͍͉̞͇͑͊̊̍̾̚͝͝a̷̡̩͙͖̻̹̗͎̟͙̼̙̪̰͗͌͒͐v̴̛̭̦̙̟̣̯͙̹̈́̍͐͆̇̎̇̃̏̕͝͝͠ȩ̵̝̦̌͒̔̆̓̑͜ ̷͎̿̿̎̓͘b̸͖̟͉̥̤̼̻̫̝̻̈́̃͆͒̽͌̔͝͝r̷̡̨̠͙͚̰̗̙̪͉̋̆̑̊̓̒͒̏͊̏̄͜i̶̢͔̼̲̻̞̞̝̦̫͈̩̔́͂ņ̷͎̜̬̻̳́̇̿̚g̵̡͖̘̝̟̗̼͇͑́̋͌̏́̃̉̕͘è̸̢̺̣̹̤̰̭̩̱̮͑̄̍͑̀̓̚͠d̸̡̡͇̥̝͋́̅͒̍̐?̸̮͙̏́̾́̈́̓̇̓͑ͅ ̶̧̖̝͉͉̈́Ÿ̵̨͇͙̥͚̰͎͔͖̰̭̺̗̭́̀͊̆̒̎̓̑̈́̕ǫ̴̛͓̻̘̞͙̪̱̜͙̝̜̠̅̈́͝͠u̶̡̢̧̲̜̱̮͚̣̥̳̞̓͛ ̴̛͙̹̹͈͇̆̊͑̀̍̊̄̄͛̕a̴͚̰͙͚̯͉̝̭̤͋̓̎͊͒̐̌̿͛͝r̶̢̛͕͕̳̺͍͈̗̟̫̓̓̓͂̌͆̀̚͘ͅę̵̧͍̪͈͚͕̟̞͓͑̃̀͐͗̍̄͜͝ ̸̢̳̹̼͖͓̙̳̯̭͔͋͐̇̏͌̉̌͒̊̊͂͋͊̚͜ͅj̸̧͙̥̰̳̊͂̄̇̏̈ų̸̧͙͔͕̬̺̱̱̯̬̤̳͑͆̅̌̉̓̚͘͜ŝ̶̩͎͓͎̾̈́͌́̐̈́̎̉̄̈̓͘͝ţ̸̭͖̥̜̦͔̼̼̾̎͗̿̈́̓̎͐̚͜͝ ̶̢̜̯̰͉̟̝͈̲̜̙͕̋͗̿̇̚̚͠a̶̛͙̯̬̘̗͈͉͕͈̖̽̌͑͛̈́͑͒̓̍́͝͝ ̴̧̨͉̜̖̖̅̾͒̈́͊͗̃͑̓͘͝u̴̢̜̝̼̞̼̠̠͖̩̫͒̆̓͂s̷̛͙͉̈́͗̈̐̎͝ě̸͇̫̪̰͕̺̝̗̤̖̜͊ͅl̶̢̢͓͖̖̰̘̦̭̦̝̫̒̽͐̿̕͜͜͜ẽ̷̢̧͈̤̟̟̬̱̯̝̩̑̽̂̑̇͂͛̋̑͑̚͜͠͠ͅs̸͎̳̮̽ş̷̛̹̰̪̣̖̭̬̠̃͂͐̀̂͜͝ ̷̡͍̗̬̪͒̽͌b̷̢̛̘͇͎̠͓̝͇͕̱̠̻̹̗͍͂̎̋̋͋̐o̷̱̖̯͊͗͐̔̄͗̈́̈́̋̽̌̏͠y̷̧͙͖̣̞͕̲̌̆̃̾̅̃ ̶̨̬̜͖͔̖̰̗̉̆͐̈́̃͋͑̒̅̈́̑ř̷̡̬͕̬̗̄͒̃̇̀̚i̶̧̛̮̳̺̖͖̻͉͎͉͈̟̩͚̍̋̉ͅg̴͉̻̓͌̆͑h̸̙̺̝̦͖̎̄̔̉̈́̅̈͗̿̃́̅͝t̵̢̼̺̦̙̗̣̪̥̯̄͐͂̂̏͘͜ ̴̨̧̳̗͓̹̖̱̟̏̔͒̽̅n̸͕̟̕o̵͓͇̗̭̦̗̼̻͈͗̓̿̃ͅw̵̮͙̜͛̇̎̐̇̑͂̈́͘̕.̶̧̘̬͈̈̀̈́ͅ

He flinched, pressing his palm against his forehead. Gritting his teeth, the boy tried to not let go any sound— what was with this headaches now? They weren't that usual in the same day. Something was wrong with him; maybe what happened had affected him more than he thought? If so, his future managing this headaches didn't look bright. The only thing that was left with him was the herbs and the was he could bear with the pain.

"Well, there are people around..." Beatrice looked around, spotting the Trost's boat. There were soldiers shouting the boat's destination, making it easy to spot it. Both of them walked where they were, along with some other families that were already waiting the others to get on. They arrived just in time, it seemed. Beatrice sighed in relief, turning to [Name], who hided his painful headache with his stoic expression. "In Trost we go. Don't worry honey, I'm sure Lydia can take us in."

"And if she can't?"

Beatrice doesn't falters nor her smiles fades, "then, like I said before, we'll manage. Together, okay?" She squeezes his hand gently. [Name] doesn't answer verbally, rather, he sighs and shows a smile as he squeezes back. He's glad Beatrice is okay— if not, he would have been all alone by himself. Maybe he would even be back at Shinganshina, lost, not knowing what to do. When he find her, something heavy disappeared on his shoulders.

Beatrice talks all the time they are waiting to get on the boat, talking about how Trost is a good place to live. She says her pastries could charm the people from them if she plays her cards right. [Name] believes she doesn't have to play anything to love her as he does— someone nice as her is noticed by miles. If they don't like her or her pastries, is because they are dumb.

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Beatrice was right —like she always is—, they arrived to the district in one hour. The boat was just tight— seems there were other people who had business in the same city. Once they got off, they stretched. They were awfully tired— if this 'Lydia' Beatrice talked wonders about didn't take them in, the would have to sleep on the streets because their energy was disappearing. Quickly after their little 'exercise', they got a move on. It was more tiring, because Beatrice didn't exactly know where her friend lived no more, and asking to person to person was taking all of their day.

Luckily an old woman who sold fruits knew exactly who she was talking about. The nice lady told them where Lydia lived with her son, and it wasn't far away from there.

"Yes! You have to turn left when you are at Jimmy's bar, then you will see her house. It has an orange door, so you can't mistake it."

"Thank you so much! I don't have anything with me to thank you now, but—"

"Oh, hush! You don't have to worry about it," the lady chuckled, taking two apples from her baskets and handed them to Beatrice, who blushed and shacked her head, "don't worry about it, dear! Take them! I can see your lovely son is hungry, and I'm sure you are too. So please take them."

Beatrice sighed and smiled, grateful for the help she got. "I'm very thankful, ma'am." She took the apples, handing one to [Name] who took immediately and began to ate it.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Oh, what a handsome boy!" She laughed, "you two seem tired. Only god knows what you two went trough. I won't take your time anymore, so please hurry and rest."

Beatrice thanked her again before leaving, retaking their little 'mission' to find Lydia's house. "Everything will be alright," she spoke more to herself as he took a bite on the apple, looking ahead, hand in hand with [Name]. The boy looked at her with his tired eyes, squeezing her hand.

It only took a few minutes to spot the bar the lady talked about, and after they took the turn they spotted quickly the orange door. Beatrice sighed in relief before approaching it, knocking on it three times. [Name] realized his mom was nervous, seeing her tensed shoulders and pressed lips.

"Everything will be alright," he gently spoke, smiling. Beatrice looked at him in surprise, blinking. She smiled soon after, patting his head.

The door opened— both of them changed their attention to it. A chubby woman with brown tied hair looked at them in confusion, but before Beatrice could speak why or who they were, the woman's eyes widened and a "oh my!" left her lips, quickly after hugging Beatrice with happiness in her actions.

"Beatrice! It's been so long since I last saw you!"

"I'm happy you remember me, Lydia." Beatrice smiled, returning the hug.

Lydia's expression changes into a worried one, "I heard what happened in Shinganshina! Are you alright?!"

"Uh, well— as you heard what happen, I wanted to ask you—"

"You don't even have to ask, woman! You can stay here as long as you want to!"

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"This is my son, Jean! Say hi to [Name], Jeanbo." Jean's mom happily said, taking a step on the right to give Jean some space.

Behind her was a boy taller than [Name]. His hair color had two tones, by [Name]'s surprise. It looks good on him. He had a frown on his face, and even if he looked irritated, maybe he was just shy.

"Don't call me that..." He said in irritation, before looking at the [hair color] haired boy with a blush on his cheeks. He grabbed his wrist, a little shy. "Hello." He only greeted.

Showing a small smile, [Name] tried to sound friendly and not that expressionless, not knowing if he succeeded. "Hello. Is nice to meet you, Jean."

Jean, blinking, said, "yeah, uh, nice to meet you too..."

"Beatrice and [Name] will stay with us for some time, so please be kind with them, alright?" She spoke to her child softly, and he only blinked in surprise and nodded in return. [Name] didn't know if he minded some strangers stayed at his house, but it seemed Lydia didn't. "Okay then, why don't you show [Name] your room? He will sleep with you just for some weeks before we settle this, okay?"

"My room?!"

"Jeanbo! Don't be disrespectful in front of our guests!"

"B—But—!"

"Jean."

The boy sighed, nodding. He guided [Name] where his room was, which was upstairs.

"I'm sorry if I'm causing you trouble..." Beatrice said, looking embarrassed.

"Don't be! Jeabo is just difficult, but he doesn't mind," Lydia waits until she sees the boys leave, then turns to Beatrice, "now, I can see you are both hungry AND tired! Let me make something for you. It's almost night."

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The small walk to Jean's room was quick and filled with awkward silence. [Name] —who is not good at all at social stuff—, didn't feel particularly uncomfortable, just tired. Maybe he could sleep a little if he was allowed to?

"Sorry you have to share," [Name] spoke, taking Jean's attention, "I can sleep on the floor if you want."

The other boy blushed for some reason and averted looking at [Name], "I-It's alright. We can sleep t-together." Hearing that made [Name] relieved— he didn't want to sleep on the floor tonight. He was so tired, mentally and physically. Maybe he could even sleep one full week.

"Here's my room..." Jean opened the door, letting [Name] in. The amnesiac boy at the sight of the bed almost falls, and without thinking much he asked, looking at Jean with tired eyes,

"Can I sleep?" Jean's eyes widened, blinking. He just nodded slowly, seeing [Name] walk tiredly at the bed and drop himself on it.

Jean waited for a reaction, but there was none. "Did he fell asleep already?!" Jean approached the boy, getting near his sleepy face. When he heard the small snores coming out of his mouth he was sure the other fell asleep instantly— Jean didn't know that was possible until now.

Now that he was ‘alone’, Jean could pay attention of his new roommates’ appearance. Not that he didn’t... appreciate it when he first saw him, but now he could carefully see him. Even if his characteristics weren’t out of the ordinary, he looked different. But what looked obviously different was his eyes. Jean didn’t looked at them that much at first, but when he looked at him to ask if he could sleep Jean had the opportunity to see them.

They were... cool.

Jean blinked, realizing how weird he was being by watching carefully the other boy. Blushing, he covered his face with his hand before quietly walking towards the door to leave, not without glazing one last time at [Name], seeing his sleepy face.

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"Oh, where's [Name]?" Lydia asks, noticing the absence of the other boy.

"He fell asleep."

"He must have been so tired... my poor boy..." Beatrice sighs.

"Uhm—" Jean speaks, trying to let his question out. Beatrice, noticing it, looks at him with curiosity.

"Hmn? Is something you want to ask me?" She smiles kindly, stopping her actions while Lydia cuts some vegetables.

"Well... [Name]'s eyes are... different," he shakes his head, "n-not that is a bad thing or anything!"

Beatrice chuckles, "indeed they are, hmn?" Jean nods, shyly looking at her, "I think he was born with them... I've seen them since I first saw him."

"Oh? [Name] isn't your son?" This time Lydia pries, looking at Beatrice who shakes her head as an answer.

"I found him, or rather, he found me." She smiles as she remembers how scared and lost he looked before— like a frightened kitten. "Jean, [Name] isn't a bad boy by any means. He's... quiet and a little anti-social, so please be patient with him, yeah?"

Jean just looks at her with widened eyes before nodding. He couldn't deny he was interested in him— after all, it wasn't everyday he made some friends, even if he tried to don't make it obvious. And [Name] looked interesting.

"Finally you will have a friend, Jeanbo!" His mother chuckled, finishing making dinner. The boy grunted.

"I have friends! Y-You just haven't seen them...!"

"Sure thing, my boy..."

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[Name] didn't wake up until the next morning. And even so, Beatrice had to wake him up because Jean couldn't. The woman seemed she was get used to such sleeping problems, because she dealt with it fast.

"Here," Jean hands [Name] some clothes, "we will share clothes. I will show you the shower." [Name], still sleepy, yawns and nods, doing his best to walk straight. Jean gazes at him a few times, ready to catch him if he falls. Luckily that doesn't happen.

"Uhm, breakfast will be ready when you finish, so... go there...?" He awkwardly speaks, receiving a nod from [Name]. Jean is ready to leave, until his low but gentle voice speaks,

"Thank you," and then closes the door, leaving Jean alone. The boy looks at the wooden door for a couple of seconds before leaving to breakfast.

Lydia tells Jean to go to the bakery to accompany some bread to today's breakfast, but says to wait for [Name] so they can go together. Jean waits on his seat, until [Name] comes.

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"Uh... let's go then," Jean says, looking at [Name] who yawns and follows him not before waving at Beatrice and Lydia, who wave back in return with a smile. Jean awkwardly does it too before closing the door.

Jean didn't want to ask, but his curiosity was growing on him. He knew [Name] was in Shinganshina when all of the titans came in and broke the wall... and the titans, such monsters that Jean have never saw and couldn't imagine, wanted to know everything [Name] saw. Was there really a titan as big as the walls? How did it looked like?

It seemed he was trying to keep his mouth shut, as [Name] saw how his mouth opened but closed a couple of times. [Name] knew exactly the other wanted to ask— and if he was honest, he wanted to forget about it.

"Just ask." He spoke rather loudly, irritated by the other's actions. Jean jumped at hearing his voice, blushing in embarrassment. He took a couple of seconds before asking,

"Is that true? A titan bigger than the wall?"

[Name] remembers it— skinless monster, moving its eyes trough the people, meeting his'. It's hand gripping the wall, rupturing it. "Barely."

Jean is surprised, but can't hold his questions anymore, "how are they? are they really that big? how many were there?"

Titans who smile for an unknown reason, who eat humans for a reason not known, "they are big, and they smile a lot..." He shivers remembering them, and even if he didn't see them close, their smiles burn his mind.

"Smile...?"

"Yeah."

Jean catches [Name]'s tone and stops prying. Luckily the awkward silence didn't last long, as the two boys arrive to the bakery, instantly smelling the bread. [Name] relax, remembering the times where Beatrice and he bake in her kitchen. Jean does most of the task, seeing as [Name] is not that great socializing. He only says a low hello to the baker, and when Jean takes their stuff the leave.

"Sorry If I pried to much... I was curious."

"It's alright."

"Ahh— but isn't it Jeanbo?" A mocking tone of voice that [Name] recognizes too well is heard behind them, making them turn to see who is it. Jean know exactly who, seeing his frown as he turns around. "And with a new friend I see!" The other boys behind him laugh.

Jean is in silence, and [Name] can't help but assume what is happening. He knows it too well— since Armin was bullied a lot, he knew exactly what type of people this kids were.

And he wouldn't stand for that.

"Aaaah! Look at his eyes! So freaky!" One of them gets near [Name]'s face, making the boy frown in disgust. "What?? You don't talk?"

"Leave us alone."

The bully takes Jean by his shirt, smiling disgustingly at him, "what? momma's boy has grown some balls now that your little friend is here?" Jean shut his mouth, trying to get out of the other's grasps but failing to do so. "Yeah, that's what I thought, momma's boy!" The bully lets out a laugh, following by his friends. But the bully sees what is Jean holding in his hand, grinning, he steals it from Jean's grasp, "ah! you have bread with you. How nice of you, Jeanbo! Now, let me take it—"

"You won't take anything." [Name] speaks, looking straight at the bully's eyes who looks surprised at him, but quickly changes his expression to his clown face.

"Ah? The mute can talk?" He says as he drops Jean, approaching [Name] to intimidate him. He is taller than him, but to [Name] it doesn't mean anything. "Look, I will explain you how things works here, you see—"

"Shut your filthy mouth. You are annoying." [Name] spat out, helping Jean stand up, who looks already frightened by what is about to happen.

"How dare you—!" One of the bully's friends say, but the leader stops him with his arm.

"Now, now, we have to teach him a lesson, don't we, boys?" The boys laugh devilish, nodding as they stretch and move their fists. "Now, why don't you cooperate and—" before he could continue his banter, a punch straight to the face shut him off, surprising his friends and Jean by the sudden force that made him fall. There's silence for a moment, but the bully, embarrassingly covering his bloody nose, yells, "what are you waiting for, idiots?! Get him!"

The two boys react and approach [Name] to give a punch, but the by easily dodges their attacks by kneeling and lifting his leg to kick one of them with full force, making one fall on top of the other. It seems he knocked-out the one of top, seeing he got unresponsive, as the one under him tried to move.

Jean thought this would be over seeing the fight ending quickly, noticing how people are surrounding them.

But [Name] wasn't done— he slowly approached the leader, who looked terrified as he tried to back off still on the floor. The amnesiac boy harshly took him by the collar, looking at him with deadly and frightening eyes, "you should give me that," he points with his head the bag of bread.

"Y-Yeah, all yours!" He quickly speaks, handing him the bag. But just as [Name] takes it, the bully's expression turns into a big grin, taking [Name]'s wrist to make him fall. "Hahaha! You thought you will—" An elbow to the face knocks him off, silencing him for good. [Name] drops to the floor without much harm, taking the bag and with Jean's help he stand up. He dusts himself without much thought before giving Jean the bread.

"T-That was... amazing!" Jean can't stop his surprise and the nice feeling of someone standing up for him. He admires the stoic boy, who doesn't look tired, dusting himself as if nothing had happened. He looks at Jean, tilting his head with a small frown.

"We should get going for breakfast." He began walking, but seeing as Jean wasn't following, he stopped and looked behind him with a raised brow. His humming made Jean's thought snap and run towards him with a blush, the two boys walking to their home as they talk all the way there.

Jean didn't want to admit it, but [Name] was pretty cool, even if he was a little weird. He looked forward to being his friend in the future... He didn't mind sharing his bed with him if it meant hearing him talk more.

Trough the walk to their home, [Name] hides his headache, more exactly trying to ignore the static that he hears.

Ḧ̴̻̩̘̰͖̯̫̼̼̼̮̤̼̭̩͉̟́̄̓̓́̍̕͘͝ͅe̵̡̨̡̢͓̜̻̻͇͚̖͂̾̐͑͌͛̃̃͂͘͝͝͝ͅ ̶̢̬̼̱͈̬͍̣͍̖̟͉̫͚͇̈́̀͊͋̊̅̾͂͗̈́̌̑̚̚â̸͇͚̩̰̊̎̿̍̐́̈́͘͘͝͠ͅľ̷̛͚̦̖͗̋̇͗͋́͝r̶̢̛̲̞͎͕̜͈̬̹ͅe̵͉͕̦͈͈̞̝͙͈̠͉̹̟̗͓̊̑͗̾͐͘͘͜͜͝â̵̢̤̟̭͕͍̥͈̥̈́̌͐̾̐͊̆͆͐́̒̑͐̌̚̚͠͠ḏ̵͔̫̻̪͔͖̮͓̮͎̋̾̉͊̔̉̐̌͗͂̒͌̍̿͘͝ͅÿ̵̢̬̙́̐̃͐͋̐̾̈́̍̋̇̀͊̈́̐̋̚͝ͅ ̸͈̘͔̯̩͐̑̔̿̃͋̆̅̒͌͌̍͝͝h̷̖̟̉̌̓̅̎̉̎̌̚a̶̱̼̙̮̥͕̥͔͈̽̍̅̊̈̏̂̂̍̕͝s̸̜̮͐̓̈́ ̷̳̫̳̙͒͋̽̃̈́̈́̏̈́̈̎͂͛͝͠ţ̵̲̩̣̠̲̝͙̜̻̣̲̀̿̃̿͆̆͆h̶̩̞̠̭̳̼͇̠̝̗̻̼̮̙̞̹̤̑̈́̂̒̓̇̔̔̈́̏͌̋͝͝͝e̵̡̮̙̺̯͇͚͕͕̫͛̊̅͂̆ͅį̸̹̞̱͍̫̥͓̻̫̈́̽̏͋̃̇̋͆͑̄͒̓́̔̒̚̕r̷͕̙̖͓̩̃͒̎͂͒̓̃̕̕͘͝ ̶̛͈̜̰̗͈̭̬̥͈̳͚̼͖̙̏͗̏̎̔̏̅̌̚͜͜͝p̵̨̡̖̰͈̬̮̗͓̘̂̐̒̂̈́̊ơ̴̧̡̨̧̙̟̯̞̻̪͉͕̫̝͎̜͗̄̈̊͆̊̓ͅw̵̡̡̡̺̬̹͇̠͓̟̘̹̱̺̾͐ͅẹ̶̼̦̜͙̹͎̥͌͆̓r̶̞͔̯̪͖͖͖̝̜̜̯̰̙̈́̌̐̑.̵̡͉̫̠͎̩̦̗̣̝̝̪̙̽̈́̓̄̚̕ ̸̛̛̫̘̲̓̈́̌̈́̓͑͒̀͘͝G̴̡͙̯͖̥͙̼͕̳̜̬̺̬͕̱̭͕̐͌̍̀̑͛̓̔̾͗̒̉́̇͑̔̚ǫ̷̬͚̝̭͚̳̠͙̺̖̞̭͖̉̍͑̊̈́̇̿̋͆̂͌̊͌̀̔̈́̚ͅọ̵̎̊̌̈̌̏͌̑͂̐̕͝͝d̸̬͙͆̽̊̔̋͒͐͝ ̸̧͈͓̱̗̂̄̃̇͊̒̅̏̀͊̚t̶̡͇̭̣̫̣̹͙̤̬̥̗̑̊͠͠h̷̬̬̙̣̙̭͚̦̝̦͇̻͖̹͂̅̄̓̈́͊̆̈͐̄͊͜͠͝͝ỉ̴̛͍͙͔̬̹̬̞̄̈́͐̅͒̌́̿̐̊͐̕͜ͅn̶̡̝̱̘̯̼̳̝̬͙̰̻̦̳̈͒̾͂͌͆̿̐̈́̈͠g̶̢̜̬̫̰̯̖̹̩̤͊̇̈́̓̓͂̓̐̚ͅ ̷̨̛̩͙̹̻̩̣̦̬͇̤̥̼̓̋̄͒̈̄h̴̩̲̠̥̳̹͇̮͇͕͔̝̤͗̓͗̈́͘ͅͅȩ̸̨̻͇̫̥̩̪̟͈̩̼̘̒̆͌̆̕͜͜'̷̨̡̡͇͍͖͈͎̣͈̞͙̼̖̠̲̭͖̳͛͋̎̂̾̆̅͒͘s̶̪͙̭͔̋͛͑̐͛͝ ̶̲̄̈́̈͂̽͒͋͗̊͑̂̈̈́̚̚͝͠ņ̴̡̥̦͇̗͕̖̜͖̞̒͋̑̇̌̾̈͗͝ŏ̸̤̈́̾͋ț̷̠͓̲̹̻͔̙̻͍͎̮̾̎̈́̂̅̉͌̓̋̒͐̊̌̽̿̑̚ ̷̨̢̤̲̥̹̰̼̗̰͍̮͖̥̺̠̾͂͗͂̓̑̑̔̎͛͗̿̉̚͘ͅa̵͎̫̳̲̙̤̟̦̺̗̣̞͉͉͒̇͊̍̎͂̍͛ͅ ̸͚͈͉̱͇̦̜̣͉̗̎̇̒ͅͅģ̸̦̱̠̣͔̼͉͗̉̒̈̓̃̾͝ơ̶̢̧̹̯̳̬̱̭͇̣̖͊̆͂͊͑͋͑͑̚̚͠͝͝o̶̧̬̹͈͎̯͈̼̰̫̲̣̜̥̊̀̔́̔̇͑͆͝͝ͅͅd̷̢͎̰̖͚͉͙̼͓̮̗̬̦̱͔͊̍̉̿̈̌̂̄̐̒̿̚ ̷̢̧̼̹̏͐̄̀͑̏̉͊̊͝ͅf̸̧̧̺͔͉͙̮͈͕̭̜͈̰̗̎͐̑̈́͑̀́̌͝ö̸̢̨͍̥̞̮̹̫̹͓̞̱̟͓̳̳͙́̎̽̿̑̀͆̾͝ͅͅr̶͇͍̱͚͖͚͑̓̈̋̌̌́̃͆͌͋ ̸̢͔̙̻̼̼̦̞̲̫̗͓̝̦̒͗̚ń̷̨͕̟̲̦̬͉͖̘̜̺̱̭̖͖͈́̋ͅơ̷̙͚͕̰̼͕̙̞̠̥͚̠͆̂͌̋͑̚͠ţ̸̠̜͔̭͐̓͋͛̾̽̊̓̓ḩ̵̧͍͕̙̱͈͈̤̑̔͜i̸̢̢̮͇̤̘̞̥͋̅̑̀̂̈́n̶͎͙̎̄̿̚g̷̢̻̩̟̳̲̩̫̝̮̤̞͈͎̹͈͗͂͜.̴̡̖̬͇̬̫̰͙̺̖̇͐̒̿́̎̔̈́̇̊̃̆̔́̉̾̕͠.̶̢̧̧͍̭̩̤̝̪̰̤̱̹͖̰͙̹̀͑͛̉͜͜͝.̵̳̲̦̼̞͚̅̿̈ͅ

NOTES i'm taking some canon-liberties rn, like * how can the warrior trio get to the refugees before eren and the others? * [name] nor beatrice saw the armored titan because their ship had already sailed * tbh, jean's ma doesnt have a name anywhere, so i named her to write more easily i hope you don't get too much annoyed by that hehehe

e m p t y / 7

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

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[Name] took the box, and before leaving he placed a kiss on Beatrice's cheek, which she was crouched so the boy could reach her. She took his head with her hands and kissed his temples, smiling at him and standing once again.

"Be careful on the way to Doctor Jaeger's house, alright?" The woman said, warmly looking at [Name].

"Yes, mom. The bread and I will be safe and sound on our way." [Name] opened the door, and before leaving he said, "see ya, mom!"

[Name] heard her saying see ya too, and went to his way. The day was good— the wind felt nice. It was... peaceful. Even if his ears could hear everything, the sounds fogged, not taking attention to anybody's voice. It was nice, but something deep in his mind told him that something was wrong— something was out of place, but the boy couldn't decide what. Everything seemed normal like everyday— what was wrong? He didn't want to worry Beatrice for the feeling in his gut, but [Name]'s mind was occupied by the same thought. He didn't know what to expect or do, so he shacked his head and returned to the present.

He was going for your normal check ups with Doctor Jaeger. Even if his headaches were less than before, the man had said that he had a case of migraine— a weird problem a kid should have. Nevertheless, thanks to all of his recommendations the pain was bearable. So, Beatrice and him decided to gift him bread and pastries thanks to his huge help, even if he answered with modesty. His recovery wasn't that great, but he managed.

Sadly, not remembering anything made him somehow depressed and upset. He wanted to remember, but both Doctor Jaeger and Beatrice told him it was too dangerous for his health, and honestly, the headaches got worse by just forcing his mind to remember. Beatrice had told him that she would try her best to make new memories he wouldn't forget, so he just accepted it and moved on.

And it was true— after one year in this district he had made bad and good memories. [Name] was curious of his past, but even if he wanted to forget it he couldn't. Even if his headaches were horrible and awful, he sometimes tried to remember when he was alone at night in his room. But sometimes his headaches came out of nowhere— as if his mind forced him to remember...

Finally spotting Jaeger's house, he unconsciously rubbed his forehead as he approached. [Name] liked Dr. Jaeger— he was a nice man and helped him. But sometimes, when the man thought the boy wasn't looking... [Name] could see different eyes that he couldn't decipher. Blinking, [Name] shacked his head, trying to forget his weird thoughts. The boy knocked on the door, letting out a deep breath. Quickly after that it opened, revealing Miss Carla, and when she spotted him, a warm smile took her features.

"[Name]! Come in!" She opened the door and made space so he could come in, "Grisha was waiting for you! Aha! and what do you have here?" She asked, looking at the brown box in the boy's hands.

[Name] walks into the house, "it's croissants. My mom and I talked about a new recipe, and we want you to try it first." He finishes, giving a small smile to her. He handed her the box, which she gladly took.

"That would be perfect for today's meal! I'm excited to try them out, thank you, love!" She said as the woman patted him on the head and headed to her kitchen.

[Name] spotted Grisha sitting on the table writing things in one of his books and greeted him, "Good afternoon, Doctor Jaeger,"

He closed the book and smiled at him, "Good afternoon to you too, [Name]. Sit down with me and we will do the regular, alright?"

[Name] nods, obeying. Placing his hands between his legs, the boy moved his feet in front and back.

"How are the headaches? Any complications?"

"I got a nosebleed this week. I didn't try to remember, but the headache just came." [Name] paused, thinking about his previous thoughts, "It's... weird."

Grisha arched a brow, curiously looking at the boy, "What is?"

The amnesiac boy shifted in his seat, trying to get comfy. "It's like my mind wants me to remember, even if I don't want to. I don't really know how to explain it... Just like the gut feeling you get when something bad is gonna happen..." He mumbles, trying to find the right words. "It's... forcing me? Hmn...”

The doctor doesn’t say anything and just writes on his journal. [Name] can’t exactly see his gaze as the light reflects on his glasses— but he can certainly feel the change of aura the doctor had. It's different.

"Oh!" The boy blinks, "I got some scratches too on my back. I got into a fight the other day."

"Is that so?" The doctor hums, closing his book. "Let's check them then."

The man stands from his seat, heading to [Name]'s back. He commanded the boy turn so he could treat his injuries. The boy obeyed, feeling Dr. Jaeger removing his shirt and showing his bare back. But as just as the man take off his shirt, he suddenly stopped and left the shirt hanging from the shoulders. Weirded out by the silence, [Name] spoke.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, wondering if his injuries were worse than he imagined.

The boy's voice snapped Grisha into reality, it seemed, because the man blinked and hurriedly spoke into a 'trying-to-sound-normal' tone, which [Name] noted clearly. "Nothing at all. It's just that... you don't seem to have any injuries in your back. Are you sure you had them?"

"Well, my shirt was stained with blood when I took it off..." Narrowing his eyes, the boy crossed his arms, trying to think if he had imagined the blood— but obviously that wasn't the case. He did remember it, but now they were suddenly... gone.

Dr. Jaeger doesn't speak at first— he looks deep in thought, but eventually he talks again. "Maybe you imagined it, or someone's blood splashed on your shirt," the man chuckled as he helped [Name] to put on his shirt again, "you know how... violent you can get."

It could be true— his friends had told him how... brutal he turned when he fought the bullies. He was scarier than Mikasa and that was saying something.

"Could be." Was the only thing [Name] said before falling into silence.

The doctor sat down again, talking about another type of herb they could try, but it was hard to get. They were somehow rare, so for Grisha to find someone who sell them or find the plant itself was a challenge.

The boy blinks, "where are they?"

"Hmn? Who, Mikasa and Eren?" As the boy nods, Grisha responds, "they are collecting wood in the usual spot. They left some time ago."

The amnesiac boy had decided to look for them— after all, he always looked forward to helping the Jaeger family with anything they needed, as at least pay all of the help Mr. Jaeger have provided.

As the checkup finished, [Name] said goodbye to the parents, receiving a pat from Grisha and a kiss on the head by Carla.

"We'll tell you later how the croissants are! Or even better, you should join us for lunch!" The joyful woman said as she waved goodbye to the boy,

[Name] was lazy at the thought of go and find his friends— the spot wasn't that far away but still was a good amount of walking. Yawning, the boy was ready to go but he stopped in his tracks as he remembered what time and date was it— the survey corps returned today! Just with the thought the boy smiled, running to try and catch up before they arrived. [Name] always tried to be at the front whenever they returned— he always worried about their well-being. After all, they were the soldiers who saved him.

Running to the gates, he could already hear the amount of whispering saying bad things about them. It was a good thing [Name] didn’t care about them— if not, he would have throwing hands at everybody.

As he arrived, the bell immediately was heard. Frowning a little by the loud sound, the boy tried to be in front of the crowd but got pushed back by the adults. He pouted, annoyed. The little boy couldn’t see thanks to his height, but as he was going to look for a box to stand on, he felt a hand grabbing his own tightly.

Before [Name] could react rather aggressively to the unknown source, the voice he recognized was Eren, stopped him from doing so.

“I was looking for you!” He said, smiling widely at him. Mikasa was besides him as always, waving at the amnesiac boy with a small smile.

“You found me.” [Name] answered with a bland tone as he squeezed his hand. The brunette’s face went crimson as he smiled brightly at the positive reaction he got. It wasn’t a secret [Name]’s attitude was nicer when the survey corps returned or where going to leave, so Eren tried to take some advantage of that.

The three of them looked for some boxes to stand and see their return.

The gates opened, allowing to enter the soldiers on their horses. There was a silence the people fell on, waiting how things turned out.

[Name] was always rooting for them—not caring of what would happen, he supported them. He knew Beatrice wouldn’t be fond of the idea, but when he grew older he would join the military to be one of the survey corps. That was his dream the day he learned about the military, and no one was going to change that.

You shouldn’t be so sure.

Blinking, the boy looked at his sides but no one but Eren and Mikasa were with him. He didn’t recognize the voice neither, and he was sure someone whispered something to him. The brunette was too occupied to notice his reaction, as his attention was somewhere else. Maybe was his imagination? He was already paranoid all day— could be his mind playing games to him.

Shacking his head, [Name]’s gaze went to the soldiers. The looks on the majority of them made him frown— they didn’t look good. The expedition seemed to turn out bad, seeing the number of injured soldiers passing trough. They looked so... grim. His [eye color] eyes shifted to place to place, looking for a certain blond— he wasn't worried he didn't make it back, because he always did return. So when his eyes meet the blue ones, the boy stood on his tip toes as best as he could and waved with his expressionless face as Eren smiled at him too. Seemed the blonde couldn't hold his guilt or shame, seeing his frown and the way he averted their gazes. The brunette's smile fell, the same time [Name] pouted at his reaction.

"No good, uh?" [Name] whispered to himself, frowning. Eren's attention went to him, but soon shifted to the woman who spoke and went to where the commander was, asking about her son whereabouts. [Name] didn't want to be a pessimist, but something in his gut told him this was going to be upsetting— the same feeling that has been with him all day.

And well, it certainly was. 'Moses' was just an arm they could only retrieve— the last remain the mother had of his forever lost son. [Name] cringed at such sight, feeling dirty of watching it. This was horrible: something so... private? so heartbreaking? was for all the world to see. Even more awful with the poor response she got from the so called commander:

"J ust like all the other missions…we achieved nothing at all! My incompetence has done nothing but needlessly send soldiers to their deaths! We haven’t found anything out about them!"

The [hair color] couldn't believe such answer. Was this the same guy he was saved by one year ago? Why was his guilt getting hold of him in front of this poor woman? [Name] frowned, averting his gaze of the scene. He admired them, he really did. The boy wanted to believe in them until the end, but he couldn't deny every return was a mess to see. He could already hear everyone's whispers, and not-so whispers of the people that wanted to be heard by the poor soldiers passing trough.

"Our taxes are basically going to feeding and fattening those things up now." A man in front of them spoke with no hint of empathy in his words, and [Name] instantly knew what was coming for him. He did not try to stop Eren from taking one of his firewood and hit the man on his head before being grabbed and pulled by Mikasa the same instant the man was going to throw a punch at him. As the two children disappeared, [Name] let his tongue out for the man to see, leaving shortly.

"You brat! Get back here!" The man tried to follow them, but as he turned to catch them, they were gone.

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The ravenette threw Eren against a wall, the wood flying all over the place.

"Mikasa, what the hell?!" The brunette whimpered, looking angrily at the girl.

[Name] doze off, thinking about the gut feeling he has been having all day, along with the whisper he heard not too long ago. His eyes focus on the ground, trying to think and decipher his discomfort.

"Hey," he gets the attention of the siblings, "does any of you have a weird feeling today?"

"Ah? Weird feeling?" Eren raises a brow as he picks the wood, "I don't get it."

"Of course you don't." [Name] blatant stated, unimpressed. Ignoring him his shouting, he turns to Mikasa, "do you?"

"I haven't. Why?"

[Name] tilts his head, crossing his arms, "dunno."

"You don't even know and you treat me like an idiot!" The brunette points at him, frowning and yelling.

"Because you act like one."

"[Name]! We talk about this!!!"

"Enough." The ravenette interjects, "[Name], are you coming for lunch? Mom told me to get you if you wanted to."

He tilted his head, thinking. [Name] was feeling lazy, he just wanted to get home and sleep until the next day. "No thanks. Maybe next time."

Eren raises a eyebrow, suspicious. "Hmn? Where are you going, then?"

"Sleep." [Name] states, yawning.

"But that's the only thing you always do! What about Armin? He must be alone right now."

"Then I should look for him to sleep together."

"You lazy...! I'm going with you then!"

"You can't." Mikasa takes his wrist, "mom is waiting for us and the wood."

The brunette whimpered, holding his jealously of not sleeping besides [Name]. "See you later, then..." The children wave at each other, everyone walking into separate directions.

"Bye bye."

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[Name] went to look for his friend. Luckily sometimes he could heard his voice and find him, but as the blonde was really quiet these moments were rare. The boy was going to leave his objective, until he found Armin sitting on an alley all alone, reading his book like he always was.

"There you are." [Name] softly spoke, seeing how determined Armin was as he read the text. His friend was passionate about reading and learning.

The blond turns his head to see his quiet friend, instantly smiling brightly at him. [Name] slightly smiles at such nice sight.

"Where you looking for me?" [Name] nods, kneeling besides him.

"I was going to ask you if you want take a nap with me in the woods."

It may seemed weird to ask such thing— but everyone knew [Name] loved sleeping all day. His... activities were lazy and not that energetic, but Armin didn't mind that. He enjoyed his time with him, it was a nice contrast of being with Eren and Mikasa.

"Sure!"

The walk was not that long. The chattering was done most by Armin, talking about the information of the book he had. [Name] nodded and spoke some time, listening to what he got interested on. As the wood appeared in their view, [Name] took Armin's hand and guided him easily. The boy had a favorite spot only his friends knew— it may have appeared like every other place inside the forest, but to him it wasn't.

The two laid on the ground, Armin on his side and opened the book. He wasn't sleepy at all, but as he was quiet —unlike Eren— [Name] didn't mind. He let out a yawn, placing his hands on his belly and closed his eyes, hearing the birds flying over the woods and the wind.

Something blue— the ocean Armin talked about? The same one he thought to see before?

No— the scenery changes: the woods, but not the same inside the walls. This one is different: the same one outside the walls. But there are houses— there's someone. A woman...?

A memory of a book? Wait— it's the journal! Someone is handing it to him? The journal and the hands holding it can only be seen— there's a voice... what does it say?

O̴͎͌̈̄̚u̴̹̖̫̻̙̣̦̖̪̗̠͖͆ĭ̶̱͇̔͠ ̸̳̪͉̙̜̞͆͆̋̏͑͐̉̕͘͝͠f̶̨̥̖̜̼͕͚̹͖̟͂̔̄̓̊͐͆̈́̓̒̕̚̕e̵̦̳̎̍̾̈ͅm̴̡͓͚̘̬͙̬̗̗̌̃̅̀͊́̂̚͘̕͠͝m̸̨̠̝̻̉̑̎͋͂͂͋ ̴̬̜̈̅͗̚͝͝ḥ̴̡̻̜͆̌̈͌̊͛̐͗ͅą̸̛̠̠͉̪͍̮͔͔͕̼̰͂̂̽̈́͐̀͋̏͘ą̷̤̻̜͍̟̺̋̃̀͂̓̌̈́͌̚̚̕t̴̯̻͉̣͙͒̍́̍͜͝ ̶̢̢̰͈̠̗̻̹̗̫̥͋̿̓̈̈͗̀̈́̚ẽ̷̘̤͉͖̬̼͖̾͐̈́̓͑̈́̃́͋̑͑̃d̴͔͕̣͕͚̞.̶̡̊̓̇́ ̵͉̦̘̹͈̪̓̄͋̊̏̓D̵̺̳̱̭͖̥̮̝̙͛͌̂́͋ͅy̷̢̡̟̻̳̦̰̯̬͙̞͋̌g̸̼̀̇͐̄̔̽͛̌̇͂̕͠a̷̧̤̙̠̲̹͕̒̈́̈́̉̃̋͊̾̈̚ ̷̮͖̆̾͆̈́̐̉͛̑̅l̶͙̟̙̘̳̫̬̥̃̈͛̐̉y̶̡̜͍͛̄͌͘ͅṅ̸̮͙̫̖̤͉̤̜͚͔͇̭̍̐͛̆̃̒ä̷̡̼͇̘̖̝͖͖͍͓͎̊̊̊̄͐̂̎̏̕ ̶̥̞̤̋̿̈́͛̈́́ư̶̧̬̟͕̭͈̫̲͖͙͚̽͋̑͜v̷̧̳͓̙̖̯͚̰̠͇̙̊̆̒͛͂̏͘͝͝ ̴̢̟͚̜̱͚̱̤̜̭̃̋̌̏̌̔͝͝͝e̸̡̧̼̙̤̹̲̩̪̗̍͗͗͊́͛̐̾͘̕̚d̵̢̛̦͓͙̺͒͒̏̔́̅͒̓͑͋̕̕.̵̧̧̛̫͇̞̼͎̣͉͙͌̍̽͑͊̿͆͗̑̋̚̕͜ .̴̡̠͉̬̱̟͈̌̎̽̄͆̂̀̿͛̆̚

He can't understand it— what's she saying?

Something else. The place is so different... so... strange. It's not inside the walls— there are people... pointing at them with guns? What is this? Why do you show me this?

Who is examining their eyes? Hey—! It's his eyes— they have them too! Where are they? It's his family? Tell me!

You should wake him up— it's too early.

What are you talking about?! It's the only link we've made in years!

He's right. We will do damage if we show more. Let's not overdo it.

.

.

.

.

Uh?

"[Name]! Wake up!"

[Name] instantly opens his eyes and gets up, breathing fast. He takes a moment to understand what he saw— but he can't remember any of it. Like a dream he wanted to remember, but was erased forever. What was it? He had to remember— he had to! It was something important-- he knows it. But as soon he tries to imagine at least a bit of it, his headache comes with full force, shutting him down. He lets out a whimper as he hold his head.

Armin gets worried immediately, "are you alright?!" He closes his book and gets near him, exterminating him.

[Name] finds his voice to ask irritated, "why did you wake me up?"

The blond blinks, unsure, "y-you seemed to have a bad dream... you were whispering things and moving a lot. Do you remember any of it?"

"No." [Name] sighs, exasperated by the failure, "we should go back."

Armin is confused— did he do something wrong? He tries to apologize, but [Name] stands up, giving his hand for Armin to take, which he does. They leave without much to say, but [Name] can't shake off the odd feeling even more. He's uncomfortable, and if Armin notices it, he doesn't say anything.

When they get to the gates, [Name] speaks. "I should go with mom, I've been wandering too much."

"O-Oh, well... see you later!" Armin waves and smiles, seeing [Name] leave into another direction with a odd expression. He's worried, but doesn't pry.

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[Name]'s house is far from the gates— a little trouble some when you have your friend's house near the gates. The boy is irritated already, and hearing such multiple voices from the people only gets him even more exasperated. Plus, this 'odd feelings' he's having is only making him mad. What does this mean? Would something happen today? Something bad? Good? He doesn't know at all. Maybe the best thing to do is tell Beatrice in the end. As she said before, 'bottle up things doesn't work. Someday they will come out even if you don't want to.'

Just the thought of his mom and her delicious pastries calms him— he's happy. [Name] doesn't want to leave her at all... but he knows when the military comes, he will join and there won't be much 'family meetings'.

He yawns. He's almost half-way his house, almost there. Everyone is talking, but [Name] doesn't pay attention on what they are talking about, just the sound of their voice. The wind...

Wait. Something changed— as if the air turned heavy, as if something bad was behind him. Someone or something tells him to not turn around because there's something behind— but [Name] hears it before anyone else, like always. He doesn't know what is that sound, but his mind is telling him is something dangerous, something that should be feared— there's no words to understand it, and he doesn't even know what is he hearing, but someone is telling him to run. But he doesn't.

[Name] abruptly stops, widening his eyes in terror. Turning his whole body behind, his gaze locks on the wall, and just in a millisecond, a thunder appears from the sky and shocks into something behind the wall. And then, that thing appears— [Name] doesn't know what the hell is that thing looking at him, but at the same time he can't deny a sense of familiarity. He's shocked, looking at it's eyes.

Everyone is watching the titan with shock, fear, amazement. They are waiting for what it's about to do, but no one is prepare of what is going to happen. As the titan gets a grip on the wall, it moves, and after a couple of seconds it's foot kicks the gate, sending wind blows at everything near it. Debris gets on various houses and on people, killing them instantly. [Name] can't move, the only thing he can do is watch the horror in front of him. The colossal titan disappears, as if it was never there to begin with. Everyone runs away as they see the titans coming their way— multiple of them.

"What is happening?!"

M̵̨͖̞͓͇̲̺̝̱̪̜̻̀́̄̇̋̈́͗̓̌ǫ̴̘͙͔͈̫̣̠̖̭͙̲̅v̶̛̺̗̟͓͔̱̹̿̿̂͛̈̎̈́̆̏̕̚ͅe̶̡̨̛̯̰̰̞̭̯͓͌̿̔̓̒̒̐̈́͗͘,̸̡̛̤̲̳̫͚̝͈ ̸̯͆͋͂̈́͊͘b̶̧̤̩̹͈͕̘̝̺͗̍̽ṟ̶̨̜̻̪͇̹̣͔͇̞͍̘̓͊̎͌å̷̢̨̡̨̧̧̹̗̝̠t̵̢̤͈̐̀!̴̤̣̘̻͉͎̫̹͉̇̽͑͛̆̐̔̐̂̋̂͠ͅͅ

[Name] runs as fast as he can to his house. He thanks whoever his house is far away from this mess, but he can't forget Eren's house is just at the gate. Would they be alright? Should he go for them?! The boy stops, undecided if to run to his house or go to Eren's— is this time to even think?

H̸̝̦̖͍͈͖̱̩̪̙͂̃̉̿͂̓̽̂̐̍̕͘ͅe̴̙̩͇͐́͛̽̔͂y̵̛̮̣͍̺͖͕̰̓͌͋̎͗̔̂͝ͅ!̵̡͓̜̺̝̱̪̙̌͒̂̀̌̕ͅ ̶̖̙͙̟̗̼̰͈̘͇̠̩̿̊̉͛̇̊̈́̌͐̐̚S̴̙̟̞͛t̴͖̤̱̪̅͋̈́̇̓͑͛͆͝ơ̵̡͎͎̯̎̔̓̃͋͆͑̊̆͒̕p̴̨̨̩̼̞̖̜̝͇͎̺̏̓̌͑͝͠ͅ ̵̧͈̼̝͓̩̜͙͍̈̈́̎̆̍̐̏̑͂̄̃̈ͅṱ̴̛̠̜̫͈̬͉̼̫̩̲̜̑͑͆̎̄̆̎̎̆͆̚͘h̶̬̬͚̑̄̔͆i̶͓ṅ̸̢̛̘̥͙̪͖̜̥̩̱́̈́͒̈́͜͠ķ̶̟͈̤̗̟͉̖̫̞̫͍̔̋̿̽͠ǐ̸̳̜̝̩̭̤͇̯͉̺̝̰̍̽͗͋̕ñ̷̘̜͚́͊ͅģ̶̨̘̬̝̫̺̰͙͖͒͊͛̒͛̃̀͂̚̚͜͠ ̷̥͇̗͖̟̹̲̘̊͊́̈́̒̀̓͌͑̏͆͌͠a̸̮͚͓͖̳̭̞͐̅̈͛͗̇͗̃̄̈́̚͝n̶̛͍͖͎̠͇̦͈̿͛͜d̷͚̯͗̂ͅ ̴̬͚͍̘̝̯̥̆̈r̶̦͈̉̀ų̸̮̺̳͈͚̻͙͖̝̎͐̅̔̎͛̏̈͐̑͠n̶̲̤̟̹̭͔̈́̃̏͊̏̌̂̕ͅ ̶̞̀̑́̕a̶̼̙̭̲̣̞̋̃͋̓̀͆w̸̧̜͉̼͉̅͐̽̿͗͂̓̃a̵̡̫̝͖̪̞̍y̸̡̪̖͖̹̲͔̹͖̯͙͊̑̏͂̏̇͘̕!̸̨̡̩̬̙̱͚̭̬̟̩̋̐͜

No— Beatrice is worried, you should go back.

He doesn't want to leave his friends, but something makes him run at the direction of his house. The boy does his best to try and doze off the horrible sounds around him— the screams, the whispers on his back, the horrifying sounds the titans make... the scared boy locks his gaze in front on him until he gets to his house safe and sound, where Beatrice is waiting.

He can already see her outside her house, trying to understand what in the world is going on. She's worried, but her expression changes when she sees [Name] running towards her. As soon as the boy gets there, he grabs her hand and tries to pull her to the inside's gate as he explains, "we need to go! something appeared out of nowhere and destroyed the gate!"

"W-What?! T-That can't be possible!" Beatrice widen her eyes as she tries to process the situation. But as she sees everyone running towards the gate and notices the titans far away coming where they are, her expression turn into one of terror. "W-We need our stuff!"

"There's no time! We have to go!" [Name] takes charge and tries to leave, but Beatrice can't move. "They will get here, mom!" Both can hear and see the Garrison Soldiers trying to take care of the disaster, but as everyone knows, they are not capable of holding it.

Beatrice lets out a shaky breath before nodding and get on running.

Fortunately the gate is already open— they cross it, seeing soldiers preparing ships to sail. There are a lot of people gathering already, but [Name] hopes everything gets done fast. They hurriedly walk there, waiting for their turn to get on the ship.

"I wonder if they are alright..." He can't stop himself to think about them— he should have been with them first. But then, maybe Beatrice would look for him and get hurt. What was the right thing to do? "They have to be..."

Beatrice squeeze his shoulder. "They are, [Name]. They are strong."

It's really slow, but soon they get on one of the ships that is already full. There are two more empty, but [Name] wonders if everyone of Shinganshina can get on just these boats. His eyes try to see if his friends are there, but he can't see them at all. He only hears desperation, but not their voices. He's shaking, but Beatrice tries her best to calm him down. She's scared too, terrified, even. She can't even comprehend what just happen— there was a heavy sound far away from her house, but then what? The boat sails, leaving the disaster that the district hold.

The woman hugs her child with caring, closing her eyes and wishing for the best.

So, was this the gut feeling you were having all day?

e m p t y / 6

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter six — new memories [1.4]

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Armin was nice— [Name] really liked him. He was gentle, his voice was soft and he wasn’t an idiot. That was enough for [Name] to not hate him, surprisingly. Fortunately for him, Armin liked him too.

“How has your handwriting gotten?” Armin asks, eating some cookies Beatrice made for them. They sitting on the table inside [Name]’s house— the usual spot to teach [Name].

“I think it’s better. But I’ve gotten some trouble remembering some letters.” Handing him his notebook, [Name] watches expectantly as Armin takes the item and looks at it, flipping some pages.

Humming, the blond inspects the semi-messy handwriting. It wasn't a pleasant looking typography, but it was enough to understand it. There were some words that contained backwards letters, but it was a great improvement since last week. “I see you have some problems with certain letters, but you have improved a lot! I’m happy my teaching has somehow worked...”

Blinking, [Name] stares at the blonde in silence. It wasn’t a secret he always looked down on himself— he always felt weak when [Name] or whoever who came to defend him agaisnt the bullies. It was plastered all around his face— but [Name] thinks Armin is strong.

“You are smart.” [Name] begins, resting his head on the table, looking at the blonde without an expression. “I like you, Armin.”

The blue-eyed boy blinks in surprise before blushing a little by the bland statement. “I—I like you too, [Name]!”

Slightly lifting the tips of his lips, a smile barely noticeable, the amnesiac boy speaks, “I’m glad.” Straightening his posture, the boy looks expectantly at his friend, who blinks in return before snapping out of his thoughts.

“U—Uhm! I—I think we should get to reading!” He hands him a simple book for children, easy to read. His friend takes it and opens it before glazing at the words and begins his reading exercise.

Armin was... always curious about [Name]. The first thing that made him amazed and interested in him was back then when he first protected him— he actually fought similar like Mikasa. He had never seen him around before— he was confused at first. An unknown kid helping him instead of his best friend Eren.

But the most impressive thing was his eyes— they were nothing Armin had seen before. They were unique. The children around the neighborhood were pretty harsh on him for his eyes and his demeanor, telling him ‘freak’ and ‘weird’. But Armin could see his friend was unfazed by these comments— he was really strong.

[Name] was so calm and collected. His only weakness was his headaches and, maybe, Beatrice. The blond could see the incredible attachment his friend had with the nice woman— and Beatrice loved him dearly. Armin believed if something bad happened to the woman, [Name]’s calm behavior would broke in some way— it was pretty clear to him.

[Name] and Eren where obviously different, but not that much. Armin knew [Name] could be pretty brutal when fighting some times— like when the bullies had yet again stolen food from Armin, and when the amnesiac boy knew about this, Armin had never seen someone so scary. Basically, [Name] had made the bully throw up, and then made him eat it again. He only knew of this because Mikasa had told them about it, because when that happened, the bullies left Armin alone for some time.

Armin did like [Name] a lot. He enjoyed his time with him, reading for him, teaching how to write and read... it was different. He was glad Eren and [Name] had become good friends in the end, as Armin finally could keep company with both of them without the two killing each other that much.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

“And hear this! It says the ocean is made of saltwater!” The blonde excitedly speaks, showing the drawings to [Name]. “No merchant can finish all the salt it has!”

“Ocean...” [Name] blinks as he looks at the drawing. His fingers touch it gently, as if it’s a part of the sea. He’s silent without expression, worrying Armin.

“Is something wrong?”

The amnesiac boy doesn’t respond. There’s something familiar he can’t fully grasp— this ‘ocean’ is familiar to him in some way. But as he tries to remember anything, a shock passes trough all of his body at the same time images appear on his mind for seconds— but one particular burns: something blue as the sky.

He can even hear some type of bird, the ocean waves... but there’s a voice— a woman’s voice besides him, but he can’t see her face as his gaze in locked on the peaceful  sea. Then, her clear but unrecognizable voice says:

“The ocean is what keeps us apart from them.”

Blinking, the memory? disappear as he speaks without thinking, “I think I’ve seen it.”

Armin’s eyes widened in surprise, not believing what he’s hearing. “That’s impossible! The ocean is outside this walls! No one has ever seen it!”

[Name] doesn’t say anything— he’s sure it was a memory, even if it was clear for some seconds, it burns in his mind. He’s sure is real— the ocean, the sounds, her voice... It’s too real, like he was there with her.

He wants to tell Armin about it, but the boy remembers Beatrice had told him to not tell anybody about him being outside the walls. It could cause a lot of trouble for him or her, and obviously he didn’t want that. So he shuts his mouth and doesn’t say much.

“Yeah... I think I’m imagining things,” he dismissed the entire conversation, “let’s read some more.”

His blond friend looks like he wants to say something else, but the look [Name] is giving him shuts him down. It’s clear to Armin that [Name] doesn’t want to say anything else, and he obeys. The blond kid keeps on reading, sometime stealing some glances at his friend while [Name] tries his best to follow,. But the memory keeps his mind occupied, wondering about something the woman said to him...

“It keeps us apart from who, exactly...?”

E m p t y / 5

[ shingeki no kyojin x male reader ]

【 male!various x male!amnesiac!reader 】

[Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place -- trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches.

Who is he? And why he can't remember his own face?

Masterlist

chapter five — new memories [1.3]

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

It was one of their usual tasks— bring wood and herbs for Mr. Jaeger. It was a job for Eren and [Name], as Mikasa helped Miss Carla and Beatrice with pastries and baking bread in [Name]’s mom house. Everyone was pleased how nice the relationship between Eren and [Name] turned out— no more fighting but the occasional comments [Name] had to say to stop Eren’s angerish behavior. Surprisingly, they actually could notice how the brunette liked his company, and always wanted to stay at his side. The two women could notice when Eren was being scolded by [Name], he just blushed and averted his face, as if he was embarrassed of his actions.

It was somehow irritating for [Name]. As you could tell, he wasn’t fond of Eren’s voice— it was loud and annoying. He preferred staying with Mikasa or Armin, as their voices were less noisy than Eren’s. Obviously, this was an unusual conflict within the two: [Name] being vocal about his annoyance, and Eren being angry about it.

Eren liked [Name]— it was a fact. Carla and Beatrice could see that so clearly, even if the brunette tried to deny it so desperately. It was a huge change from their beginning— it was actually strange how Eren’s behavior changed when [Name] scolded him, but when Mikasa did it he angered. As Beatrice believed, [Name] was unaware of Eren’s feelings and didn't pay much attention to him. He too denied Eren felt something for him, and just was being the usual ‘hot-head’ he was.

But their differences weren’t always present— they genuinely liked each other and were good friends. [Name] didn’t hate or disliked Eren but the opposite: the amnesiac boy admired how strong and determined he was. It was just his loud voice that made his ears suffer. Nevertheless, [Name] sometimes tried to bear with it and spent time with Eren, and the brunette tried his best to not be ‘noisy’.

But back to the present— Fortunately, Dr. Grisha didn’t say when he wanted the herbs, and neither he looked impatient or urged for them. The two boys decided to rest a little bit in the small woods, the air was fresh and it was surprisingly relaxing there, as no one but them were there. The two carefully placed the bottles full of herbs on the grass before lying on the ground, looking at the sky. [Name]’s eyes sheepishly looked at the clouds, while Eren eyed him, he being unaware of it.

“Say, [Name]...” Eren spoke to get his attention, in which the other hummed in response, “do you think... we could see the ocean together one day...?” He asked with a blush on his face, looking at the other side to hide his embarrassment.

[Name] blinked, still not looking at him. “What’s with the sudden question? The four of us promised we would.” [Name] felt relaxed, blinking slowly. Letting out a yawn, he rubs his eyes, shifting to a more comfortable pose to sleep, not paying much attention on what the other has to say.

“That’s not what I mean...” Eren frowns, unaware of [Name]’s sudden tiredness. “I mean that... maybe we could...” he blushed deeply, unable to explain his feelings. He’s not good at feelings, and when he had never felt something like this before, this is hard for him. Even more when the one you have interest on doesn’t even likes you that much. “I want to see it with you... right at my side.” His whole face is painted in red— he plays nervously with his hands.

The lack of response made Eren impatient. Looking at the side, he noticed [Name] had fallen asleep by the low snoring that could be heard. At first, the brunette felt irritated and angry— as usual, [Name] wasn't paying attention to him. He even tried to not be so loud, and [Name] didn't even care about it! He didn't want to accept the small glint of jealously he felt when the [color haired] boy preferred to be with Mikasa or Armin, but him! Annoyed, the boy crossed his arm and averted seeing the sleeping boy, pouting.

Sighing, the boy lies on the grass, watching the sky. “I’m not that loud...” he speaks to himself, turning to see [Name] with narrowed eyes. The boy lies peacefully, his chest slowly moving up and down as he breathes, both hands tangled over his stomach. Why did he liked [Name] that much? At first he couldn’t stand him— but seeing him... hurting the way he was before, it made him feel... upset and dirty. His guilt was a major factor of his change, and somehow, interacting more with [Name] and knowing him more and more made him interested and curious on him.

He likes him, that’s the truth.

Sitting, the brunette gets closer to [Name]’s form, looking at his face, focusing on him. Eren can’t help himself and slowly leans forward [Name]’s face, Eren’s own heartbeat raising. Gulping, he closes his eyes, hands shaking by his nervousness. He gently kisses the soft lips, deep crimson painting his cheeks. Eren feels... joy as he answers his curiosity, but soon he becomes worried and scared as he feels [Name]’s body shifting. Immediately the brunette breaks the small kiss, almost falling on his back by he sudden separation. He covers his mouth with his hands as he nervously looks at the [hair color] haired blinking sheepishly, looking around and spotting him besides him.

“Eren...? Did I fall asleep...?” [Name] asks as he rubs his eyes, yawning. Stretching, he notices Eren’s quiet and unusual behavior. “Is something wrong...?”

“Uhm— No! E–Everything’s fine! We should get going.” Eren hastily speaks as he gets up and takes the wood and bottles, signaling [Name] to hurry up too. The amnesiac boy blinks confused, but soon stretches and gets up too. He takes the herbs and the wood on his back and waits for Eren to begin walking. Surprisingly, Eren takes his hand wihout warning.

“E–Everything ready?” Eren gulps as he speaks, looking at [Name] with a blush on his cheeks. He pleads in his mind for [Name] not to reject him— to stay like this just for this moment. His heartbeat raising as he sees the amnesiac boy blinking, not giving his thoughts away— Eren has always watched how expressionless [Name] can be. The brunette holds his breath until [Name] answers.

“Yes. Let’s go.” [Name] nods while speaking, walking ahead hand in hand with Eren. By Eren’s surprise, the [hair color] haired boy tangles his fingers with Eren’s, making the brunette’s heart skip a beat. [Name]’s face is the same— serene and calm, while Eren’s is a messy crimson.

They met Hannes in the way back, and the blonde soldier can catch how red Eren is. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the unusual scene of them being like this— gaining a ‘what are you laughing at?!’ from Eren, and another scolding from [Name], ‘don’t yell like that.’ making the brunette shut his mouth immediately. Hannes was actually impressed by such interaction— not even Carla nor Mikasa were capable of holding this little ball of anger from acting recklessly.

The walk between the two was unexpectedly calm, as both of them talked about what they will have for dinner. Eren’s face had a big grin, happy by how things turned out.

e m p t y | 4 — new memories [1.2]

Surprisingly, the survey corps' soldiers visited Beatrice and [Name]. It was a great joy for the little [hair color]-haired boy seeing the taller blonde again.

A knock on the door was heard. [Name] quickly let go of his pen and stood up to open the door, as Beatrice was busy making lunch. When [Name] opened the door and for his and Beatrice's surprise, it was three soldiers— survey corps' soldiers. Of course, the boy recognize them immediately. Specially, the taller blond in the middle of the two.

A smile appeared on [Name]'s face, an unusual thing for him. His whole face brightened up as he spoke, "Mr. Erwin!" He quickly hugged the man's leg, making Erwin chuckle by the action. The ravenette on his left quirked an eyebrow seeing such an action, while the much taller man on his right stared a little surprised.

"Oh my! Come in, gentleman! You just came in time for lunch!" Beatrice greeted, cleaning her hands on her apron as she approached the three men, opening the door to let them in.

"There's no need, ma'am. We came here just to greet you, as we were passing by this district." Erwin spoke as he patted [Name]'s head, who still was hugging his leg.

"Seems the brat is your number one admirer, Erwin.” Levi joked, while Mike snorted.

"[Name]! Let the men come in, please. Have manners, boy!" Beatrice playfully scolded him, which gained a embarrassing [Name] nodding, looking at the floor. The boy separated from Erwin's leg before retreating to Beatrice, letting them enter. "And don't be shy, you three! I made just enough for all of us, so don't worry about it!" The woman guided them with her hand behind their shoulders, making them sit by force.

"We really don't intend stay that long, ma'am." Erwin spoke, making Beatrice dismiss him with her hand.

"Nonsense! This is at least what I can do for your duty as survey corps soldiers. So hush and enjoy!"

"Tsk. How persistent.” The ravenette stated, but not in bad tone. He didn’t mind Beatrice being this welcoming— it was a nice change.

“Hmm? I noticed you remembered your name?” Erwin asked, smiling at [Name]. The boy nodded excitedly.

“Yes! That’s the only thing I can remember, but somehow that’s enough for now.” [Name] smiled, moving his legs back and forward. For some reason, the kid loved being with Erwin– maybe it was just the blonde was the first person he trusted.

The blond chuckled, amused by the positive behavior. The boy was different since their first encounter, and this was Erwin's first visit since then. [Name] had a small spark in his eyes than he didn't have, and seemed much more relaxed now. The boy still had a lost gaze, but looked more... alive?

"Sometimes that's for the better. But I see you are comfortable with Beatrice."

The woman smiled for herself, placing the plates on the table for each one of them. Mike smirked by the sweet and delicious aroma only Beatrice could make with her food.

"Of course. Mom... is really kind to me and helps me with my headaches." He smiled.

"You still have them?" This time the ravenette interjected, drinking the tea Beatrice gave him. [Name] nodded.

"My poor baby suffers a lot with them— fortunately Dr. Grisha does what he can to help us." She caressed [Name]'s cheek before sitting. "He says it's his head responding to him forcefully trying to remember."

"And the brat as stubborn as he can be doesn't follow simple orders, right?" Levi guessed, not surprised. [Name] blushed and averted their gazes by being called out, eating in silence.

Beatrice laughed, "you know how kids can be. But I don't blame him..." She caressed his head again, looking at him lovingly.

"Babying him this much won't help him at all, Beatrice. Look at the brat's face— he enjoys it." Levi changed the grim conversation, making [Name] embarrassed by the sudden attention.

"Come on! He's a big boy! And such a handsome one. Our neighbor has already his eyes for him." She playfully raised her eyebrows, making gossip.

While hearing this, [Name]'s eyes widened and instantly spoke loudly. "That's not true! Eren is a big hot-head!"

Laughing for his behavior, Beatrice tried to hold more of her laughter with such a cute reaction from him. "But he looked so worried when you weren't waking up, love!"

"He got sick?" Erwin asked surprised.

"Oh! Of course. Let me tell you the beginning of this love's tale..."

The talk between all of them was enjoyable— Beatrice loved talking to them, it was as if she was an old friend of them, which she was. She explained that her husband was a survey corp soldier but he died on an expedition four years ago. She knew being a soldier of this branch was stressful enough, and all the snarky comments people made of them were hurtful for others. So, she always gifted food or pastries on their return, granting acknowledge between the soldiers. They already knew who he was thanks to her husband, but all of them were surprised enough to the kindness she had after such sad events.

"You really think that's enough for everybody? I can make more if you just wait." Beatrice spoke, everybody outside her home, talk and meal finished.

Erwin chuckled, amused by such caring behavior. "This should be enough. We thank you for your great help, Beatrice."

"Oh you! Such a handsome and charming commander!" She playfully smacked his shoulder, laughing. "You know the survey corps have the doors of my house open anytime." She looked at Mike, who was watching the surroundings. "And you, Mike? How was the food this time?"

The taller man slightly smiled. "Lovely as always, ma'am."

While they were chattering, [Name] was comfortable hugging Erwin's leg— it was fun as hell for the other two soldiers how this kid was so close to the blonde, who only saw two times, and a few glances before going to expeditions.

"Eren is coming." [Name] stated, confusing Beatrice.

"What, sweetie?"

"[Name]!!!!!" A young voice yelled from the distance, taking all of their attention to the other side of the house— [Name] instantly recognized the brunette running along with Mikasa and Armin right at them.

"So that's the lovebird." Levi snorted, 'glaring' at the kids, who as they got near them stopped instantly. They were in awe— Armin and Eren, to be certain. The two widened their eyes and looked at the soldiers in admiration. They were their heroes, after all!

But Erwin was surprised [Name] was correct of their arriving— just as he was back then when he found him. Could he have good hearing? Just as Mike recognizes certain smells? "How did you know your friend was coming?" He couldn't stop from asking, looking at the kid who was hugging his leg.

"I heard him. He's louder than others." [Name] answered, receiving a "that's impressive" from Erwin, which made him blush and hide his face in embarrassment. The blonde chuckled in amusement and ruffled his hair.

"We have to go now or we'll be late. Again, thank you for everything, ma'am." The blonde spoke and smiled to the woman. Beatrice nodded and signaled [Name] to come, which he reluctantly obeyed, but not before pulling Erwin's shirt to take his attention. The man kneeled, and [Name] shyly whispered something only the two of them could hear. Smiling warmly, the blond nodded and the [hair color]-haired boy raised his pinky finger, in which Erwin tangled with his'. [Name] smiled and went to Beatrice, finishing the 'secret talk', letting Erwin stand up again.

The ravenette quirked an eyebrow, amused. "What was that? A cheesy confession?"

He didn't answer. "Well then, see you again."

"Hope you come again soon, gentleman! Please, take care." Beatrice waved, seeing the three leaving.

The three kids, who watched the entire thing, ran to [Name] and Eren instantly began to ask a lot of questions to him.

"Why were they are your house?! And what did he say to you? Are they coming again?!" Both Eren and Armin talked, while Mikasa watched the men disappear from afar.

"And what did you tell him?! Tell me!!!"

"It's a secret." [Name] answered, getting irritated by Eren's loud voice.

"What?! TELL ME!"

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"And? What did that brat told you?" Levi spoke, hiding his interest in the 'secret' they both shared.

Chuckling, Erwin just stared in front of him, remembering such innocent encounter— something that they didn't encounter in their stressful daily life. "It's a secret."

"Ah? What kind of ridiculous bullshit he say?" The ravenette glared. "You are acting like a brat."

Mike could only chuckle at their behavior— leaving his past thoughts at ease.

He couldn't pin point the kid's aroma, still.

"Anyways— never seen his eyes before. They are... different."

"Peculiar, aren't they? I wonder..."

"Yours are weird too."

"Are you talking to me, tree?"

e m p t y | 3

You went to the checkup as promisedー but unfortunately, your name couldn't be remembered. Dr. Jaeger said it was understandable; he explained to both Beatrice and you that when someone as amnesia, it's unknown when your memories will come backー it can take days, years, or maybe never. It was the harsh truth, but he had to stop your reckless actions; trying to remember when it was clearly you couldn't was highly dangerous for your health. He could notice how much damage the headaches were doing to you, so he had to stop it as soon as possible, even if upsetting you was a possibility.

That left you with your empty emotions. You couldn't feel a thing— Beatrice worried about how often you hold your emotions deep inside you, but you just couldn't react. The motherly woman always tried to cheer you up, but no smile appeared. You weren't happy, that was for sure. Headaches often overcame you, even if you didn't try to remember anything. It was difficult, but with the herbs Dr. Grisha told you about, it was bearable.

Grisha told you that even if you couldn’t remember, that wasn’t a reason to make new memories.

You wondered what he meant by that... but soon understood.

++++++++++++++

You meet someone niceー a blond boy called Armin. He was kind, and helped you with your reading. You saw him being picked by the town's bullies, an annoying group of three kids.

They picked on you too, but you didn't do anything against them. They pushed you and laughed at you, and you just take it, not caring too much. Sometimes, you could see Eren watching you in the distance, while the three buffoons pushed you, making you fall on the ground. He just looked at you behind some house, maybe not realizing you noticed him. There was a day you crossed eyes with him— your eyes were dull and lifeless, and he just ran away.

You didn't like him.

But back with Armin, you remembered walking trough town for delivering some Beatrice's cookies, and you saw a blond kid being pushed between the three kids, and you could hear harsh words being throwing at him.

You couldn't explain it, but something deep inside you didn't like the situation at all— this was totally unfair.

You decided to take matters on your own hand.

Approaching them silently, they didn’t noticed you until you were behind one of the bullies, which he turned around to see you in confusion and sneer.

“Uh? Look what we have here! The freak!” He laughed, while the other too joined with him.

“What? You decided to join good-for-nothing Armin here? Because if—”

“Let him be.” You softly spoke, surprising the bullies for a mere second. It was slightly impressive — since you got here, you never talked back to them at all. Not even a whimper from their punches.

“Ohoho, the freak can talk? Let’s hear what he has to say with a punch in the gut!” The bully threw a punch at you, but you quickly dodged it without a problem. Seeing as their partner needed help, the other two bullies began to fight you too.

But you didn’t feel ‘you’ at that moment— it was familiar... as if the strength you had at that moment was from someone else’s.

Dodging every punch, you could see the bullies getting irritated and tired by their foolish fight. Without much thought, you could feel your body moving on it’s own— grabbing the bully by his forearm, you kicked the back of his feet and he roughly met the floor on his back.

The other two only stood there watching in fear. After all, how a small form as yours could knockout someone as big as him? You looked at them, and your lifeless eyes only made them feel a shock of fear. Approaching them slowly, they stood their ground and didn’t back off from the fight.

But just as you knocked the other out, they weren’t much of a problem either. Receiving punches and kicks, the bullies quickly carried their friend and ran away from you, with a look of fright on their bruised faces.

You only watched as they quickly left, sometimes falling and looking behind, only to see your scary eyes.

Worried about the kid, you turned to see him— he was on the ground, looking at you in amazement. His blue eyes were widened, and his mouth slightly gaped.

“Are you... alright?” You softly spoke, looking if he had any injuries, but it looked you were just in time before they got more physical.

The blond blinked a few times before answering clumsily, “a-ah! Yes! Thank you for defending me! T-That was... amazing!” He hadn’t no one to defend him if it wasn’t a friend– he was truly grateful. He smiled with a blush on his cheeks, looking at you in admiration.

Spotting the book he was holding, curiosity overcame you. You crouched, supporting your elbows on your knees and placing your hands on your cheeks, looking at the big book. "What are you reading?"

The blond unconsciously hold his book tighter, wrapping his little arms around it protectively. He looks unsure about answering, for some reason. "Uhm..." He stuttered, and no answer came out of himー was it something personal? Full of his dirty secrets?

Blinking, you seriously asked, with no hint of derision in your voice. "Is it your diary? Looks pretty big for one."

He instantly blushed in embarrassment— the blond felt actually ashamed and indignant hearing it. His book wasn't nothing like that at all! "AーAbsolutely not!! This is not a diary!!"

"What's is it about, then?" You tilted your head to the side, waiting for an answer.

He stays in silence. He looks unsureー his eyes look at the book and then to you, as is you were going to hurt it in way. You are patientー waiting for his answer, you just stare with a blank expression.

The blond seems to make up his mind, because he answers, "...it's a book from the outside."

"The outside? As... outside these walls?"

His eyed spark, "Of course! Far away from here!"

"Outside..." you wondered... how far away you could remember? The only far place you remember going was the forest. “Can I read it?”

Again, the kid looked unsure about it. Bur fortunately, he decided he could trust you. He nodded, opening the big book, you sitting besides him. “Here! If you want to read it...” he pointed a paragraph with a small illustration of... something blue.

Focusing your gaze on the words, you tried to read them. But as you expected, you didn’t understand anything of it— a soft whimper left your mouth, and the blonde got worried by your irritation. Wasn't it... extraordinary?

“Uh? What is it?” He looked worriedly at you, feeling disappointment.

“I can’t read.” You plainly stated, tilting your head, looking at him with your dull eyes. He blinked at you, not sure on how to react. Nevertheless, he didn’t laugh— not even a chuckle.

“Do you want me to... read it for you...?”

Nodding, he smiles and reads the paragraph about “lands made of ice”. You can’t imagine something like that— but it makes you wonder. Your eyes spark with interest, and your curiosity wants more, so you tell Armin to keep reading and explaining things to you.

“Hey! Maybe I can teach you how to read and write, if you want.” He speaks gently to you, taking a break of his book. It’s easy to say he likes you, and you like him.

You nod with a small smile on your face.

“Armin! Why are you with the weirdo?!”

Recognizing the voice, your expressionless face returns again, and Armin catches your change of demeanor.

“Eren! That’s rude!” Armin tells him, frowning. The brunette only tsks in return, glaring at you. “He defended me from the bullies!”

Eren’s gaze is on you still, but you don’t look at him at all. You stand up and dust your pants, ready to leave but Armin stops you. “Hey! Don’t go, we haven’t read the rest yet!”

“Armin! You can’t just let everyone see the book! You don’t even know this guy!” Eren yells, and the silent girl besides him pulls his ear, making him yell her name.

“Eren, why are you mean to him? He—”

“It’s alright. I have to deliver this, anyways. See you, Armin.” You look at him with a barely visible smile, and leave without looking at the brunette.

Watching you leave, Armin still remains frowning, hugging his book. “You don’t have to be like that with him. He’s nice.”

“Whatever. He’s weird.” Eren crosses his arms, pouting.

“Ah! He didn’t even told me his name...”

“He doesn’t have one.”

“Uh? What do you mean?” Armin looks at him in curiosity.

“My dad told me he doesn’t remember anything. Something about ‘amnesia’ or whatever. Now, let’s read more of your book!”

“Oh— right!” Armin smiles along with Eren, running towards the lake near the town.

The silent girl follows them, smiling secretly as she remembers how Eren wanted to know everything about the mysterious boy with his dad when he returned.

+++++++++++

You didn’t like Eren. And you knew he didn’t like you.

Sometimes you two fought not only verbally, but physically. Grisha was actually surprised by the two of you, Carla was disappointed in his son as she could see he was the one instigating you, and Beatrice was worried for both of you.

It was actually a nightmare to separate the two of you— Eren nor you wanted to let go from the other. Bloody noses, bruises and scratches were normally found on the two of you.

You always tried to ignore him, but he demanded attention by getting physical. Even Mikasa had a hard time separating you along with Armin. You couldn’t be with Armin because Eren was always irritating you, nor you could talk to Mikasa because she was always with him.

“He likes you, actually.” She told you sometime ago. You only raised your eyebrow, without saying much. It was one of the times were you could talk to her normally, while Armin and Eren were reading Armin’s book nearby. It was actually bearable staying like this, even if you weren’t able to read Armin’s book, talking with Mikasa was good.

And it seemed your relationship with Eren didn’t improve at all— when you saw him fighting with the bullies you didn’t help him at all. Just like he saw you being picked on by various kids, leaving without saying a word.

Carla and Beatrice were worried and disappointed that their boys couldn’t be together at all— it was unfortunate.

Grisha only said to ‘give it time’. He always told to Carla that he knew Eren didn’t actually hate you, and he was just confused by his feelings. Carla laughed, agreeing with him.

Something changed one day when you were in Dr. Jaegers house, as he did his usual checkups on you. You were stressed; more headaches with unusual pain overcame you, nose bleeds, and the fights with Eren was stressing you out more than usual. You had nightmares you couldn’t remember, and not even the tea Beatrice did was helping you.

Grisha did everything to help the pain disappear, but nothing worked. Carla and Mikasa weren’t on the house currently— leaving Grisha, Eren and you alone. You couldn’t bear the headaches anymore— they hurt too much!

“Eren boil water in the pot, I will get the herbs.” Grisha commanded, seeing how tight you were holding your head.

“What?! I’m not doing anything for hi—”

“Eren!” Grisha yelled, making Eren jump, “I don’t care about your problems right now! Stop acting like that and obey!” The doctor’s face was all serious and irritated, but he managed to stay put. Eren stayed still for a second, but went to the kitchen to boil the water.

Grisha left to get some herbs from the other room, leaving you laying on the couch with a warm cloth over your head. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for you— your whimpers and cries could be heard, sometimes you were hyperventilating. Eren watched you in worry, seeing how much blood was pouring from your nose.

The doctor returned, telling Eren to get him a teacup with the hot water. Quickly, the older man helped you sit to drink the tea, you could barely hear him talking to you, but drank the liquid nevertheless. You couldn’t even register how hot the tea was and how it burned your tongue, as the headache was getting worse.

“Clean his face.” Grisha told his son, as he left in a hurry again to the other room. Eren frowned, he didn’t want to do it. But he knew his dad was going to be mad at him, so he obeyed, once again.

Grabbing a cloth, he clumsily tried to clean your face, but he made it worse. Your whole face was covered in blood— it looked like a nightmare. “What... are you... doing...?” You breathlessly spoke, looking at him but at the same time trough him. You knew he wasn’t doing a great job— you just did.

“Hey! I’m trying to help you! I don’t even—“

“Eren! What are you doing?!” Grisha yelled, making Eren take some steps back from his horrible job at cleaning. The doctor grunted, “just– just give me a clean cloth and a bucket full of water.” He had a syringe on his hand with an unusual color in it. He took your arm and told you, “this will hurt a little bit, but please stay put.” Slowly, he injected you, but you didn’t feel it, or rather reacted to it.

Slowly, you began to feel relaxed, as if you were shutting down. But you were crying— many tears fell from your face while you sobbed. Looking at Grisha, your broken voice said, “I’m never going to remember, right? I will never remember who they were, right?!” The doctor could hear the desperation in your voice, how angry and sad you sounded.

Eren watched you, feeling... upset.

“I... I want Beatrice...” You felt sleepy, your eyes began to close as you were still crying. Grisha’s hand was on your back, and slowly helped you to lay again. You blinked a few times, looking at nothing in particular before whispering and falling asleep, “mom...”

Grisha sighed, passing a hand trough his hair. As Eren gave him what he asked for, the doctor began to carefully clean your face, as Eren stood besides him, watching your troubled face. He tried to cover his worry with an uninterested tone, “is he going to be alright?”

“He will. Hopefully I won’t use this again on him.” He looked at the syringe for a brief second. “The pain was worse than before... but what is causing it...?” The doctor wonders.

Eren just sits on the floor, unsure and worried about you. You looked in a lot of pain, a kind of pain a child shouldn’t feel. He thinks in the times he has fought you, taking advantage of your headaches. He feels so low, a bully— the ones he fights to protect Armin.

His eyes widened at the realization— was he... the bad guy in your life? Eren pouts, averting seeing you. He actually was interested in you... but seeing how you didn’t even look at him made him angry. Why could you smile at Armin and Mikasa but not him?

Eren had a lot in his mind, and you were invading every bit of thoughts on his head.

After...

Grisha told Eren to go to Beatrice and get her take you home. The woman hurried with worry on her face, and with the help of Grisha, returned you to her home. Not quickly after that you got a severe fever– hallucinating, whispering nonsense, talking to Beatrice as if she was someone else... It was pretty bad. Grisha didn’t know if you were going to make it— nothing cured you. Eren, Mikasa and Armin were worried. Sometimes Armin read his book with you, while Mikasa helped Beatrice with her pastries, and Eren surprisingly took care of you. Carla supported Beatrice too, saying you were going to fight the fever and be alright soon, but it was hard.

You didn’t give any signal of waking up.

^^^^^^^^

“Why aren’t you waking up? It’s been a month!” Eren speaks to you, knowing you wouldn’t answer. You just lay in the bed, with a frown on your face. It’s been the sixth time he had to change the warm cloth on your head– Beatrice is downstairs while he takes care of you. He doesn’t mind now; he wants to be near you. “Everyone is worried! You—! You weirdo...”

Since the moment he saw how you suffered the other day, he wanted to apologize to you. He felt regret. Everyone was waiting you to wake up, so why didn’t you?! “Please, wake up! We... We don’t even know your name!” Tears fell from his face while he tightly took your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours’. “Please...”

Immediately, your body began to shake uncontrollably. This was Eren’s que to get his dad as fast as he could. Running downstairs, he yelled to Beatrice what was happening while he ran to his dad to help you. Thankfully he was home with his mom, he ran to him and took his hand, pulling him while he yelled what was happening. Grisha couldn’t understand anything Eren was saying, but the doctor understood what was the problem. Getting his instruments with the help of Carla, the two ran to your house, the door already open when they arrived.

Beatrice was trying to help you, but it was with no avail. Grisha quickly approached your small form, while Eren looked worried and helped Beatrice. The doctor injected you with his syringe on your arm, making you stop slowly. Whimpers came out of your mouth, along with more nonsense.

“Protect...” You barely whispered, “king... walls... they...” More nonsense that nobody cared for— they couldn’t understand what you were saying.

Grisha spoke to Beatrice while Eren watched you. He sat besides you, taking your hand, holding it tightly. The two adults go downstairs, talking about you and what could happen.

“Hmn...?” Eren heard you moving and whimpering, and he couldn’t believe it— you were waking up! He watched as you clumsily tried to sit, rubbing your eyes. The brunette couldn’t hold himself, and he hugged you as tight as he could, making you confused of what was happening. “Uh...? Eren...? Why are you hugging me?” You spoke, feeling your throat dry. There was a hint of irritation in your voice – what was he doing?

“You are finally awake! I thought you will sleep forever!” Eren yelled, holding you even tighter. His head was hiding on your neck, and you could feel something wet on it– was he... crying? Eren crying for you?

“What are you talking about? I don’t remember anything. And why are you so happy to see me?” What just happened while you were ‘asleep’?

“You had a high fever! We thought—“ Eren stops, immediately breaking the hug, as he realized something important, “I have to tell the others!” He left the room as fast as he could, leaving you dumbfounded.

What happened?

After that, Beatrice came to the room, hugging you immediately while she was criyng. She explained everything that had happened, while Eren got his dad to check on you. He said everything seemed fine now – but he recommended being careful with your health.

Weird enough, your relationship with Eren got better. But being honest, you didn’t like him at all. But he... somehow changed around you. He defended you from the bullies, always tried to talk to you— and even if you tried to ignore him, he sometimes grow irritated but persistent. Mikasa and Armin told him he had to be patient– something that he clearly wasn’t. He even yelled at you, crying ‘why don’t you let me talk to you?!’ so desperately. It surprised you; old Eren wouldn’t even want to talk to you.

Gaining your friendship was hard, but thanks for Armin and Mikasa advice and help both of you grew as friend, surprisingly enough. No more physically fights, no more snarky comments, no more separation between all of you.

It was nice. You gave him a chance, and he took it.

The four of you were the happiest friends— and even if the everyday was repetitive and boring, nothing was better than being with them.

You hold these memories dearly.

+++++++

Living with Beatrice was peaceful. The kind woman took you in when she heard your situation— you not having no memories about your past whatsoever, all alone in these walls you just recently knew about. So when she was prying what the soldiers where saying, she took pity on seeing your little form behind the blond's man leg, looking uncomfortable and frightened.

How would you have survived all alone? The only option for you may have been the 'underground' rumors she heard about. That wasn't going to happen to you if she took you in— so she did.

You were a... quiet boy. Observing you, she could see you really didn't know how to react around other people— it seemed you didn't know what to say. Maybe you were introvert, or just awkward, Beatrice thought.

Nevertheless, when you were with her you slightly changed. You talked a bit more than before. When you first came with her, you didn't say much— you didn't even say when your head began to hurt! She always engaged you in conversations, and little by little you gave in. She was happy. Beatrice even noticed you liked affection; how you hugged her leg or asked for a kiss on the head. You were a beautiful kid.

Beatrice didn't know what to call you– you didn't remember your name, and she just didn't want to name you just like that. She gave you time to try and remember something before choosing other options, and you somehow succeeded.

+++

"Oh, honey, do you have a headache again?" Beatrice asked you, seeing how you tried to calm down the pain, placing your hands on your temples. You nodded, closing your eyes. "Just give me a minute— I will make tea as fast as I can, honey!"

You had headaches pretty often. She had to take you to Doctor Jaeger's house when she saw blood pouring from your nose when the pain was unbearable. He recommended some herbs, along with placing a warm cloth on your head. He looked pretty taken aback by your situation, and tried to help you and Beatrice with all he could, along with her wife, Carla.

And this seemed like one of these times when the pain was unbearable. You were grunting and tensing — so Beatrice hurried and laid you on the couch that was on the living room. Placing the cloth she warmed on your head, the woman hurried and took the tea, returning to you. Helping you sit, she approached the tea cup to your lips, swallowing it little by little.

The remedy helped you bear the pain a little, but that didn't mean it still didn't hurt. She could tell by your tensed features— how your eyes tightly closed, your eyebrow furrowed and your small hands hardly grabbed your clothing or pressed them against the sides of your head.

And as if the pain went away. you quickly opened your eyes, blinking repeatedly. She placed the tea cup on the small table, "are you alright, hon? Does your head still hurt?" She worriedly asked, gently patting your head.

You looked at her, not saying anything at first. She could tell you were trying to form your words, so she patiently waited.

"I think my name is... [Name]." You stated, looking lost. "No... I'm sure '[Name]' is my name." you said more confident, slightly smiling— a sight she didn't see until now.

"[Name]... that's a wonderful name, dear!" Beatrice happily said, kissing your temples. "Did you remember your last name, [Name]?"

You shook your head a little disappointed. She quickly acted and said, "No worries, [Name]! I'm sure you will pretty soon!" Taking the cloth off your head, she went to the little kitchen and stated, "What does an apple pie sound? To celebrate you remembering your name!"

You quickly nodded, eyes sparkling. She giggled seeing your lighten face— a feature you didn't often show to anyone but her and her pastries.

+++

Unfortunately, you didn't remember your last name at all. The only thing you remembered was your name, and that was it. Anything you tried to remember made you have headaches, and in the worse cases made you have nosebleeds. So the woman decided to not to remember anytime soon— and you just accepted it. The check-ups with Doctor Jaeger said so too.

So you just stayed with the kind woman. Beatrice baked bread and other pastries in her little kitchen, and you helped her with giving deliveries and giving a hand on the kitchen. You quickly learned how to bake all kind of things thanks to her.

+++

"But remember, [Name]— this is our secret, alright?" She whispered at you, making you smile and nod. The pastries' recipes were only know by Beatrice and you, and even if some people gave you money for them, you always said no.

Your bond with her was strong— she loved you as her own son and you learned to love her, too.

+++

Beatrice heard the front door open, seeing your little form coming in with a little bag on your hand.

"Delivery completed! Here's the money." You said, handing her the small bag, which she took. "Miss Cordelia wanted to know the recipe, again. I told her I didn't know it at all, but she doesn't believe me..." You showed a small smile, looking at Beatrice.

"Thank you, dear. Cordelia has wanted this recipe the first time she tried the bread— but this is our secret, right?"

You laughed, "yes, mom!" and when the word left your mouth, you quickly covered it with your hands, looking embarrassed.

Beatrice was taken aback too— you never have told her mom before, and even if she dreamed about it, the woman didn't want to pressure you with something like that.

"U—Uhm... sorry, miss Beatrice..." you apologized, looking upset. You shifted your gaze at your feet, with hands behind your back.

She quickly noted your tensed form, and tried to reassure you. She crouched to be at your height, and warmly said, "[Name], you can call me mom all you want. You know I love you, right?"

The statement made you quickly look at her, with your eyes widened. You blushed and hugged her, surprising her, but quickly returning the hug.

"Mom..." you said again, hiding your face on the crock of her neck. She patted your back, kissing your head.

You two stayed like that for minutes, before Beatrice broke the silence.

"Hey, [Name]..." She tried to take your attention, which she received a humm in return, "would you like to use my last name?" the sudden question made you shift your form so you could look at her. Worried, Beatrice hurriedly tried to explain herself, "only if you want to, dear! I've been thinking about it— but if you don't, that's alright, love. I just was—"

"I would like to." You quickly answered, looking shy. The reply made her excited,

"Really, [Name]? Would you like to be [Name] Knight?"

" e re e 's Knights!"

Your head began to hurt, but just as the unknown voice came, it left, along with the headache.

"I would love to, mom.

e m p t y | 2

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

Beatrice knocked on the door, and turned to smile at you. Surprisingly enough, her smiles calms you, so you try and relax.

The door opens to reveal a woman with dark hair tied up. Her face changes into a smile when she spots Beatrice, and speaks in a friendly tone, “Beatrice! Nice to see you! How have you been? Come in, come in!” The woman opens the door to make way.

Beatrice smiles to the woman, “Hello Carla! I’ve been good, thank you! It’s just that I came to see Dr. Jaeger. Is he home?”

“He is! But oh my, are you feeling sick? Is working non-stop making you stressed again? How many times I’ve told you, woman!”

“No, no! It’s not me this time— uhm, how can I explain it…” Laughing quietly, Beatrice turns to see you, and then moves a step on the right so Carla can see you. Beatrice pats your hair, “this little guy needs a check up.”

You try to hide behind her leg, looking carefully at the dark haired woman, who’s eyes are widened in surprise.

“Honey, don’t be rude. Say hi.” Beatrice tries to make you greet the woman, speaking to you gently.

“Hi.” You only say, not feeling comfortable at all. “Hello there,” she greeted back with a smile, regaining her composure. She looks at Beatrice again, raising an eyebrow, “I thought you didn’t have more kids?”

“It’s… complicated. Maybe I can explain inside…?” Beatrice nervously smiles, and Carla only shakes her head jokingly with a smile plastered on her face. She makes way for you, allowing both of you came in.

The house looks cozy— there’s a small kitchen and table where a man sits with a journal? on the table. He seems to be writing something in it, but when he spots you, he stops his actions and stands up to greet both of you.

“Beatrice, nice to see you again.” He smiles and then spots someone hiding behind Beatrice’s leg, “and who may this be?”

“Hello Grisha. Well… I have to explain first, may I?” Beatrice then proceeds to explain everything that happened. When he found you returning with the scouts —which did change Grisha’s face drastically for a second—, what they said about how they found you, your headaches and the lack of memories you had. Carla and Grisha listened carefully, but you could tell the man did look… strange. His calm aura he once had changed to one cold and tensed. His expression hardened, looking deep in thought.

Strangely enough, something deep inside you told him he was… good. As if a low voice in the depths of your head whispered to you, telling you things you should hear.

But just as you meet his serious gaze, the whispering disappeared. Trying to hide behind Beatrice, you averted his gaze. It didn’t matter, because he crouched to be at your height. “Hello. I’m Dr. Grisha, it’s nice to meet you. Beatrice told me everything— you can trust me. Can you please look at me?”

You didn’t want to look at him— his aura changing intimidated you. Unfortunately, Beatrice tried to push you to talk, and spoke, “come on, dear. Don’t be rude, Dr. Grisha is going to help you.”

Beatrice’s words motivate you enough to look at him in the eyes, and when you do, you can catch the change his eyes suffered when he looked at your eyes. His eyebrows raised and his eyes slightly widened— his whole body froze for a couple of seconds. But he composed himself once again, nodding to himself and stands back up. “His eyes are… different, right? Never… seen them before.”

“They are pretty unique— I’m telling you, this kid is special.” Beatrice whispered the last sentence, as if she was telling a big secret. You didn’t show it, but her comment quite warmed you inside. “So, Grisha, can you check him? I haven’t seen any injuries on him, but I can’t be sure.”

Grisha nods, “of course. Will do a checkup first and then we’ll see about his memory loss.” The doctor turns at you, looking at you gently, “can you sit here, please? Don’t worry, I will just check if you have any injuries.”

You obey, and he begins to work. He touched certain parts of your body— he takes your arm and move it, and then asks if it hurts. You say no, and he moves to your legs, but its the same. Nothing hurts, the only problem you have is your memory loss and the headaches.

Before Grisha could ask more, Beatrice let out a yelp, the three of you turned at her. “I forgot I have to delivery this!” she gestured the one of the boxes on her hands. “Ah! And I completely forgot to give you this!” She handed a box to Carla, “it’s apple pie. To thank you for your help.”

Beatrice hurriedly gets to the door, and you try and follow her. She could see your form moving, and before you could get closer, she stopped you. “No, no, love! You stay here. Your check up is not over yet, don’t worry, I will return soon! Stay here and follow Dr. Jaeger’s orders, alright?”

It seems your face told her you were unsure. Beatrice approached you and crouched to get at your height, and gently caressed your face. “I promise I will return soon, dear. You can trust Dr. Jaeger and Carla, they will take care of you. Be a big boy for me, okay?”

Staying in silence, you eventually reluctantly nodded. Beatrice smiled, somehow proud of you. “Alright! It won’t be long— Grisha, Carla, take care of my boy, please~!”

Carla laughs, “just finish your delivery, woman! Will talk to you very seriously once you return.” Your caretaker laughs and leaves. Your attention is back to the doctor, who is writing something on his book. He begins to ask you if you had any memories, anything you can remember. Trying to collect memories only hurts your head, and Grisha can see that. He decides to stop you from trying, and orders Carla to do a certain tea for you. Before the check up could continue, someone came in— the door abruptly opened, revealing two children. The girl had black long hair, and she was wearing a red scarf on, the boy had brown hair. They appeared to have something on their backs— wood?

“Who is he?” The boy harshly asked, eyeing you carefully while he and the girl take the wood and place it in a box. You just blinked in return, with no exact expression showing.

“He is our new neighbor, Eren. Be nice.” Dr. Grisha says, smiling softly at his son.

The brunette looks at you, frowning. It’s evident he’s… judging you? His eyes were locking into your unusual ones, meeting with an emotionless face. You could tell he’s not that interested or friendly enough by the expression on his face. “He’s weird…” He whispers, but is still audible to everyone in the room. The comment makes your chest ache, but no emotion shows. You just look away, not meeting anybody’s gaze, but a frown is present on your face.

“Eren!” His mother yells at the same time the black haired girl pull his ear, gaining a yelp from him. His face is flustered and he looks angry, “good, Mikasa!” Carla says, quickly approaching her son, and her, too, pulls his other ear. “What are these manners, young man?! Apologize right now to our neighbor!”

“But he’s strange!” He yells, gaining another ear pull from his mother. She demands him to apologize, and Eren doesn’t look happy nor regretful— but he still apologizes, gaze locked on the floor, with his cheeks blushing in embarrassment. He rubs his ears. “I’m… sorry.” Looking at him for a couple of seconds, you can tell he only apologized because his mother told him to, not because he realized what he said was not very comforting. What he said hurt you, even if you didn’t show it.

The room is quiet, and everyone is waiting for your answer.

Looking away, you softly spoke,“…an empty apology has no value to me.”

The brunette’s gaze immediately falls on you, and even if you can’t see him, you can certainly feel he’s angry and maybe ashamed of the response he got. You don’t want to look at him nor talk to him— he’s loud and has no manners. All interest you had in him was completely lost the moment you heard what he said.

“I told you he’s a weirdo!” Eren yells, before leaving his house with the girl quickly on his tracks. You don’t spare him a glance nor say anything— you stare at the table, emotionless. “When is miss Beatrice going to return? I don’t like it here.” You thought.

His mother yells at him on the door, trying to make him come back. Failing, Carla sighs in defeat, rubbing her temples. Grisha sympathetically looked at you, reassuring his son talked without thinking. You stay in silence, not caring about his’ son motives.

Carla approaches you and places a hand on your shoulder in an apologetic manner, “I’m so sorry, honey! Eren is not a bad kid, he’s just… a complete brat.” Sighing, she passes a hair trough her hair, “don’t listen to him, alright? I will talk to him once he returns.” She returns to her duty in the kitchen, giving you the tea and then busying herself in the kitchen cutting vegetables for the upcoming lunch.

“I apologize for his behavior, he doesn’t have a lot of friends.” The doctor laughs, “now, where were we?”

Dr. Jaeger asks more questions about your state— where it exactly hurts, your last memory, any injuries… The tea certainly helped you calm the pain.

You don’t know how much time passes, but the only thing that was in your mind was when Beatrice was going to come back. The meeting with Carla’s son took a toll on your confidence, and you wanted to leave.

“Looks like you have a severe case of amnesia… No prior memories, and no name. You don’t know anything about who you are, and you say you have headaches everytime you try to remember, right?” Shacking your head was the answer you gave to him. He humms, writing something on his book. “It would be better if you don’t try and remember— that only will hurt you.”

“But… my name…” You worry, feeling down by hearing that.

“Don’t worry too much— your memories may come back sooner or later. I will help you, but your health comes first, alright?”

You nod, upset. Before any of you can speak, there’s a knock on the door. Carla opens it, revealing a patting and sweaty Beatrice. “I came back! I’m so sorry, love. How was everything? Dr. Jaeger…?”

The brunette stands, walking to Beatrice’s to talk about your situation. You just stay still on the chair, tensed and upset. Thinking this ‘marvelous’ doctor could help you was a mistake— maybe nobody can help. Maybe you are a lost cause, and Beatrice will dispose you after she knows your state.

What will happen to you once this is over? Where would you go? You don’t even remember your own name— you are a nameless child in an unknown world. What good can you bring?

Staying in silence, the only thing you can do is keep quiet. You can’t even shed a tear— even if your insides are a complete mess, you felt emptiness. Your eyes are unfocused. You have to remember— you have to.

Feeling desperate, you tried to remember something before waking up in the forest. A voice, right? You heard something— try to remember! Something, anything!

Feeling a sharp pain on your head didn’t stop you from trying— even if you felt as if something was bashing your head, you tried to remember.

Remember, remember, remember, remember! Stop!

Holding your head with both of your hands, you grunted in pain. Your eyes were tightly shut, your teeth were clenching — it was painful.

Remembering was painful. Something warm could be felt pouring from your nose— but you can’t see it. The pain is bad enough that it doesn’t let you open your eyes.

Feeling a hand on your shoulder, you turn your head to see Beatrice looking at you with a worried look. She gasped as she saw your bleeding nose, and hurriedly got her handkerchief to clean you. Doctor Jaeger, seeing the state you were in, commanded Carla to do a another tea with special herbs. The woman nodded, hastily going to the kitchen and boiling the water. The brown haired man approached you with a sympathetic look, “I told you it was dangerous to remember. What happened?”

Holding your head, you looked at him with a frown. Feeling disappointed and ashamed of your failed attempt as you saw his soft expression, you averted his gaze, looking at the floor, “I was… scared.” You tried to explain your feelings, but maybe you were just desperate. Desperate to know you had no choices, no opportunities to gain your memories again.

“Scared? Of what, If I may ask?” Grisha raised an eyebrow, curiously looking at you. The man was interested on what you had to say— after all, you surely were an interesting fellow he had the luck to met.

Shifting uncomfortably, you played with your hands. Feeling embarrassed of saying your thoughts out loud, you reluctantly confessed by the looks everyone was giving you. “Of being useless and… being disposed…”

Beatrice gasped by hearing your words, “of course you are not useless by any means, dear! You are important and special— you are staying with me no matter your condition. Don’t say these type of thing ever again, because they aren’t true.”

Feeling better, you sighed in relief by hearing her comfortable words. She kissed your temples and noticed your composure relaxing, relieving her.

“Dr. Jaeger explained me everything, love. Don’t stress, alright? We will get trough this together. You are not alone.” She gently caressed your head and smiled, finishing cleaning you up. She turned at Grisha, looking determinated, “so, what are the orders, doctor?”

++++

“Thank you so much for your help! I’m eternally thankful, I don’t know how to pay you two…”

“Oh please! It’s okay, Beatrice.” Carla reassured, “well, maybe you can pay with your secret recipe…”

Grisha laughs, “pay her no mind, Beatrice. It’s alright, you know I’m always glad to help you.” “Thank you.” She turns to look at you, “honey, thank Dr. Grisha and Miss Carla.”

Shyly pecking from behind Beatrice’s leg, you softly muttered a ‘thanks’, which Carla ‘aw'ed by your 'cuteness’.

Saying farewells, the two of you departed.

+++++

“Grisha told me to come next week to check on your progress. Let’s not forget it, alright?” The woman smiles kindly at you, walking.

You reluctantly nodded, holding Beatrice’s hand tightly and keep walking. You didn’t want to return— not if his rude son was there.

Beatrice could notice how your face turned into one of irritation, worrying her. Did something happened after she left? “Was he nice? Did he treat you well? Did something happen?”

Blinking, you try to explain. “…He did. But…”

“Uh? But?” Blinking, Beatrice wonders what could have happened.

“His son is an idiot.” You blurt, frowning. It was true— 'Eren’ looked like an idiot in your eyes.

“Dear! Don’t say that!” She quickly yelled, looking around her, “what did he do? was he bad?”

Averting her gaze, you respond, “…He said I was weird.”

She stays in silence for some seconds before chuckling, “You are not weird, honey. Eren is just… harsh, he will come around.”

“I don’t want him to come around.”

“You say that now, but I know you will be friends. Maybe he will like you a bit more! He surely got nervous around you— he likes you already, I know.”

You make a disgusted face, grunting. Beatrice laughed loudly, amused by your reaction.

“Well, children come around sooner or later— maybe they fell in love already.” Beatrice thinks for herself, laughing by it.

You look at her expressionless, trying to decipher her thoughts. She notices your stare, so Beatrice tries to take your attention somewhere else.

“Hey, let’s deliver some bread. Do you want to accompany me?” Smiling, she asks. Blinking, you nod.

+++++++

“It seems everyone loves you already! You have a good charm around people, dear.” Beatrice laughs, opening the door from her home for you to come in first.

“If loving means trying to pull my cheeks out of my face, then love hurts…” You enter the house.

She heartily laughs, “Cordelia loved you, dear! She can be touchy, though. Maybe we should go someday to her house…” she fakes thinking of it, trying to get you to respond to her— and she gets one. You just look at her, blinking, caressing your cheeks in worry. Beatrice can’t hold a laugh.

Closing the door behind her, she tells you to sit on the table while she cooks lunch. Nodding, you obey— but notice there’s paper and a pencil placed on the table. “Miss Beatrice…? What’s this for?” you gently ask, grabbing the pencil.

She turns, “it’s for you, honey. Lunch can take a little but I thought it would be nice to pass the time.” She waits for an answer, but seeing your unblinking expression she gets nervous and embarrassed. “O—Or maybe not, hehe! I can give you—”

“…It’s alright.”

Laughing nervously, Beatrice sighs in relief— it was long time ago she treated kids.

While you turn to see the paper to think what to do on it, Beatrice snaps her fingers, widening her eyes, “Ah! I forgot to take your clothes, they will be dry by now.” She leaves upstairs.

You just stare at the white paper, but you don’t feel to write or draw anything on it. Actually, this paper reminds you of you— there’s nothing on it; there’s no paint, no words.

You actually felt upset by a paper.

Placing a palm under your chin and elbow on the table, you hear someone walking downstairs— Beatrice is returning.

“Honey, I forgot to tell you this was on your pants pocket,” Beatrice said, handing you a small book— a journal? You take it, “I didn’t read it. It doesn’t feel right,” she laughs.

You examine the journal— it doesn’t look out of the ordinary. The cover felt of leather, it was a dark brown with laces around it, closing it tight. It looks old, seeing it marks on the surface.

Without much thought you untangle the laces, opening the book. There’s something on the first page but you can’t understand it— “??? Meike, ??? ???”. You pass the page to meet words filling the entire thing. You read it, or or to be exact you try to. You don’t know how to read these words— You pass a couple of pages, but you don’t understand any of it.

You go with Beatrice for help; the woman is in her kitchen, baking. Approaching her, you slightly pull her dress to grab her attention, making her look at you in curiosity. You hand her the journal, “I can’t read it, can you help me?”

Cleaning her hands in her apron, she smiles at you. “Of course, dear. Let me see.” Taking the journal, the woman tries to read it, but you can see a troubled expression on her face. “I only can understand the first page… “From Meike, for you”. The words from the other pages are… strange. I’ve never seen them before.“ She passes the pages, trying to understand anything on it, but failing. “I’m sorry, dear. But it seems I can’t read them.” She apologizes, but then recognizes something else. “Do you recognize who Meike is?” You try to think of it, but pain comes like usual. Shacking your head, Beatrice humns and caresses your head. But she blinks, wondering about something. “Honey, do you know how to read…?”

Thinking of it, it seems you cannot. Your couldn’t read the first page Beatrice could— so you shook your head. The woman smiles warmly, and you only look at her shyly.

“Don’t worry, love. I will teach you, don’t be embarrassed.” She pats your head, and you unconsciously leans to her hand, liking the touch.

“But let’s eat for now, okay? I will keep cooking.” She places the journal on the table and goes to the kitchen.

Without much thought, you follow her. “Can I help you?” She hears your soft voice say, turning to see your shyly form beside her.

Beatrice smiles, caressing your head, “of course you can, dear.”

Both of you stay in the kitchen, Beatrice giving you orders you obey. You felt nice helping her, and she’s happy you are opening to her.

When you two finish, you sit on the table to ear the apple pie Beatrice told you when she met you. The table was filled with chatting, all from Beatrice, while you only nodded and spoke to give your opinion on something. The woman was happy enough by it— everything was nice.

Even if you had no memories, being with her was nice.

e m p t y | 1

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place -- trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can't remember his own face? masterlist _____________________

1—Outsider

You blinked, trying to focus your vision, but the sun blinded you, making them close again. Slowly, you shifted in a more comfortable position— sitting down, rubbing your eyes.

You felt as if you just woke up from a nightmare, but that was unlikely— you didn't remember any dream you were having.

Opening your eyes again, you try and focus on your surroundings; green. Looking around you just could see big trees, bushes, and more more trees. Were you in a forest...?

Standing up, you look everywhere around you, trying to spot something that could give you an answer— but nothing happened. The only sounds were your breathing and the signing of the birds. It seemed you were completely alone.

How did you get here? Where were you? You tried to remember something before you woke up— but a unbearable pain in your head made you instantly stop. Grabbing your head, you closed your eyes and grunted— trying to calm the pain.

Alright, alright, no more remembering for now. Feeling the pain slowly going away, you decided to walk around the forest. If you walked a little, maybe you could find somebody and get help!

Walking in a random path, you tried to remain calm. Taking long breaths, you tried to not get lost. The rays of the sun couldn't be seen now; there wasn't any free spot the trees could give, but the forest wasn't that dark, thankfully.

Come on, ——! This is the time to be a big boy.

Uh? ——? What?

The fogged word confused you— it was like you knew that word, but just couldn't say it. It was at the tip of your tongue; but as you could slightly see it, it faded away. ——...

Wait.

You instantly stopped walking, confused and frightened by a sudden question:

Who were you?

What was your name? You desperately tried to remember, but just like before, the pain returned, fogging your mind. Nevertheless, your desperation was stronger than the pain you felt, and so you just tried to remember something— anything.

But just pain came.

You tried to image how you looked like, but nothing came to mind. You were faceless— an empty vessel. You looked at your small hands; trying to feel something else than your desperation, but you felt nothing.

This wasn't right.

And if something could heard your silent pleads, you could faintly hear a noise from far away— a sound you didn't quite understand. But whatever it was, you could hear multiple sounds coming. You hurriedly run thought the trees and bushes, until you were in a path where the sun lighten the way.

You waited in the same spot; you somehow knew that whatever was coming, it was coming right at you. You could hear it very well— even if it sounded far away.

And just like you imagined, multiple horses came to your view, and you could see... people! Like... five? six? You weren't quite sure; but that didn't matter. You found people!

And when they saw you, they stopped the horses just in time before hurting you. But of course, your emptiness made you unfazed by the sudden near death, but their faces were priceless— they were surprised and confused, looking at the little boy in front of them.

"Shorty... Is that, A KID?!" The lady? with the googles asked, looking at you with a weird grin you didn't exactly like.

The man, the one in front of all, looked surprised for mere seconds before returning to an intimidating expression, "Indeed, it is a brat, but how?" The ravenette left his horse, along with the woman, and they tried to get near you, but you stepped back, a little unsure.

"Oi, brat. How in the hell you got here?" the angry short man asked, glaring at you, only to make you uncomfortable.

"How is a KID outside the walls?! Little boy, you have to tell me everything!" the woman said, excited and grinning.

You didn't feel that safe anymore, looking closer to these people. The short man was scary, and so was the woman— you ignored the other people who were on their horses talking and looking unsure at you.

Nope, this wasn't feeling very safe. So you just ran and hide behind a big tree, eyeing the two.

"Awww, we scared him, Levi!" the creepy woman said, before approaching you, "come on, cutie~ No one is going to hurt you!"

Before she could be anymore closer, you grab the nearest thing you had and threw it— hitting her on the head. With a rock. She let out a cry, but the smile didn't left her face.

"Ow! Little boy, we are not going to hurt you!" she tried to get near again, but you threw another rock at her, which she safely dodged. "Shorty, come on! You are good with kids, try to calm him down!"

The ravenette grunted, looking at you. "Brat, you better come out with no buts— if not, I'm going to—" and just as he tried to get near, you threw more rocks, making him irritated. "This can't fucking be. Brat! Stop that right now!"

Seeing as the two leaders couldn't get you, the other soldiers tried to get you out, but received the same treatment as the two. This wasn't going anywhere.

"Fucking hell. Call the commander."

 x x x x x

"What is going on here?" A tall man with brown hair appeared, approaching the two leaders.

"We found a kid. Yes, a kid." The short man replied, looking irritated at your direction. "And he is not coming out. Whenever we try to do so, the little shit throws rocks at us."

Keith was surprised by the statement; a kid outside the walls? The situation made him remember somebody— but quickly returned to the actual conflict going on.

"I don't think I'm going to be the best help with this." Shadis said. He wasn't good with kids— his face wasn't very well received with kids whatsoever. "Herbert! Come here!"

The said woman ran to him and saluted, "Yes, sir?"

"Try to get the kid out of there."

The brunette was taken aback by the statement— but tried to did so. Keith came to the conclusion that women were more familiarized with children, but seeing as you throw rocks at her made him question that thought at all.

Everyone who approached you received the same treatment— man or woman.

"And why we don't ambush him?" A random soldier said, looking irritated.

"We don't know if he is injured, if we scared him, he could hurt himself more."

Another squad came just in time, confusion on their faces as they saw everyone crowned.

"What is happening?" A blonde asked, walking to were the commander was.

"Ah, Smith. We have a situation here." The commander said, trying to explain, "we encountered a kid, but he is not coming out," the brunette looked at your direction, seeing how a poor soldier getting hit with rocks, "and as you can see, it's ridiculous."

The tall blond tried to suppress a chuckle. Nevertheless, the thought of a kid walking around the forest outside the walls made him curious and surprised. This was never seen before— it was hard to believe for him... just how?

"Maybe you can try your luck." The commander said, turning at Erwin.

Hearing that, the googled lady let out a laugh, "of course! Erwin's looks are perfect for every occasion!" the comment only made the short man snort, rolling his eyes.

A much taller blond man appeared, sniffing the place. Uncaring about any action they took, he just focused and tried to catch your unknown smell— failing to do so.

A random soldier noticed him, and he worriedly asked, "Are you sniffing something, Mike? Is there any titan coming?"

Mike just shocked his head, "I'm trying to smell the kid." Which made the soldier sweat, releasing a sigh in relief.

Erwin, seeing as no one could get you out, made him wonder if he could. Nodding, he slowly approached you, seeing your little form hiding behind the tree, cautiously looking at him. Erwin crunched, trying to be at your height.

"Hello there. I'm Erwin, what's your name?" he kindly asked, trying to treat you like a small kitten. You were frightened; understandable by the current situation.

First, you seemed troubled by what to do— he could see a rock in your hand, and at first he thought he failed, but before he could say something, you quietly let out an "I don't know".

"Aaah! He's not throwing rocks!" Hange said, surprised by Erwin's charms.

Ignoring her, the blond tried to make you reveal yourself. "That's alright. How did you get here?" he asked, only to receive the same answer as before. "I see. Can you come out?"

You looked unsure by the question, but seeing his gentle smile made you feel safe and nice. You let out of the rock, and little by little, you came out, revealing your small form.

Everyone was relieved by the blond's tactic— they didn't know how he did it, but he succeeded. Seeing how you shyly approached him made some aw.

"You don't remember anything?" Erwin asked, taking your small hand. He took a good look at your unusual eyes: they were [color] like any other, but he could see a spiral shape in them.* He never saw something like that before, but stayed silent. Unusual...

You shacked your head, and answered:

"My head hurts when I try to remember..."

The blond hummed in thought, standing again. You quickly grabbed his leg, trying to hide from everyone. You felt safe with him.

"Look at that. Who would have thought eyebrows had a way with brats."

"I told you, didn't I?! His looks charms everyone!"

Shadis was deep in thought— the wise solution for this would be return to the walls at once. You had to be protected, so going back was the best thing to do.

"We are going back." He stated, "everyone, get on your horses and get in your formation."

"Sir, where is the kid going to be?"

"With Smith. He's the only one this kid trust." Getting on his horse, he said, "we will make trough— Smith, your formation will be behind. We will protect this boy, understood?"

"Understood!"

Taking the blond's hand once again, the two of you went to his horse, who was waiting patiently for his owner. You were a little taken aback, but Erwin caught quickly your fright.

"Don't worry, he will not hurt you." He said, patting the white horse, and trying to help you pat him. "See? Harmless."

Patting him made you feel less unsure about it— he even licked you! Feeling more confident, you nodded at the blond, making him smile and carry you so you could be on the horse, quickly getting on as well.

"Grab him tightly— don't worry, you will not fall." He stated, "I will be protecting you, alright?"

You just nodded, holding yourself steady with Erwin's help. You weren't worried— you didn't even know what kind of 'protection' you needed.

"Aaaah!! So cuteee!" The googled woman said while she passed beside you, blushing and smiling widely. The ravenette behind her only stared irritably at you, making you uncomfortable.

The taller blond man, who you heard was Mike, passed you, sniffing you. You quickly pressed yourself against Erwin, weirded out by the other man's actions. Erwin just chuckled, reassuring you you weren't in danger.

"Let's go!" The commander yelled, moving forward with everyone else.

The googled woman went somewhere else with the short man— the path was less crowded now. The commander's squad was in front, with you behind, just as he ordered.

You were currently going trough the forest, but a noise made you quickly return your attention to your right. Erwin noticed, confusing him, "Did you see something?"

You only heard a loud noise... something big, taking steps...? You weren't sure, but the steps or whatever it was, it was coming fast. "I hear something."

Before Erwin could question you more, Mike quickly yelled, "there's a titan coming on the right!" which made everyone alert and place their hands near their gear.

And just as he predicted, a big human? appeared behind you from your right, almost getting hurt by it's leg. The titan quickly walked behind you, trying to catch a soldier near it. You were just beside the soldier— but the big monster was trying to get someone else.

"It's an aberrant!"

Seeing the monster, your eyes widened— what was that thing? And why was it smiling? "What... what is that?" you questioned, not taking your gaze from it. It was unsettling — how it eyes all of you like food. Suddenly, a horrible pain overtook your head— it was like your skull was being bashed.

Clouded images appeared in your mind, but you didn't have a clue of what you were seeing. You hear someone talking to you— an unrecognizable voice, but at the same time, familiar. It's repeating a word— a fogged word. You can't focus; the pain along with the situation was scaring you, you could feel your heart beat faster and faster.

It-- It hurts!

Erwin noticed your discomfort but had no time to react to it, the commander yelled orders to take the titan down. It had to be done quickly before the situation could turn out worse.

"Formation! Eliminate the titan!"

You couldn't understand the situation at all. The headache was horrible— you placed both of your hands on your head, trying to suppress the pain without much success. You would have fallen from the horse if it wasn't from Erwin's grips around you.

Unfortunately for you, the titan who was in all fours slammed the ground, barely evading Erwin and you. The harsh movement made both of you fell from the horse, flying from the path. Erwin's arms were wrapped around you, making him unable to take a grip on his weapons.

In an instant, the titan quickly followed you two, ignoring the soldier it was trying to get. Erwin and you were in big trouble— if the soldiers didn't do anything now, you two would be dead soon. The blonde couldn't do anything with you in his arms— there won't be time for the two of you to get out of this.

— Titans! Proxxxx tx? —— f?xx txx Titans!

A sudden feeling of determination took your senses for two seconds— it was as if someone else took your soul and body, giving you power you couldn't understand. Just for a split of seconds, you changed completely, and you yelled at the monster approaching you like a hungry animal;

" Go away! "

And, surprisingly so, when the titan was just inches from you both, it abruptly stopped. It's figure froze, and just like an animal, it began to smell the air. It was as if... it couldn't see you anymore. The titan's gaze was unfocused as if you two were invisible, unlike a second ago, where it was eyeing you two carefully.

Erwin and you were froze in place, you returning to normal and the blonde trying to grasp what was happening. But, just as you felt you again, the titan focused its gaze on you two again. It was ready to take you both with it's hand, but fortunately, two soldiers took care of the monster, one getting its ankles and other its nape, making it fall on the ground, steam appearing on the injuries.

Silence overcome the place. Soldiers were watching amazed by what took place— some were with their eyebrows raised and mouths opened. Nobody could say a word— not until the woman with googles spoke, in a serious tone unlike before.

"Did that titan... stopped its actions...?" She seemed deep in thought, her mind occupied with what happened.

"It was an aberrant, we don't know what they will do."

Some soldiers murmured between them, the commander eyed you, thinking. Nobody truly understood the actions of the titan— did they, anyway? It was an aberrant, their actions are unpredictable... but nobody saw something like that.

Erwin helped you stand, "are you hurt?" he asked, worrying about you, but his mind still was trying to understand the titan's actions. He took a look of the titan, laying lifeless inched from you. However, his attention returned to you, hearing you grunt in pain, holding your head. "Hey, are you alright?"

You were in pain— your head was hurting like hell. You didn't know what just happened; the only thing you remember is the monster trying to get you, and then, it is laying on the grass, steam coming from what remained of its body. "M-My head hurts a lot..." was the only thing you could mutter, closing your eyes, trying to bear the pain.

Erwin trying to comfort you, but he knew nothing could be done for the headache you were having.

"Let's return, everyone get on formation."

The rest of the journey was in silence, and thankfully, just normal titans were seen. There wasn't much of a problem to get back at the walls, just some people with a couple of injuries.

Your headache calmed down, just an uncomfortable feeling remained, but it was bearable. Your thoughts were occupied with the monster you saw before, and your curiosity made you spoke to Erwin.

"Mr. Erwin, what was the monster we saw?" The question did confuse him for a moment, but he remembered your amnesia. "And why was it trying to hurt us?"

"It's called a titan. They... eat people."

"Why?"

"We... don't know that."

You hummed, more questions trying to get out, but before any of them could, you saw from afar what seemed... walls? Amazed, you asked, "what is that?"

"The walls that protect us from the titans."

Approaching them, you were watching them carefully, but a sudden pain in your head interrupted you.

w  hxxx to protect t  e walls a d xxx ???  g!

Erwin noticed your tensed form, how your hand hold your temples in an attempt to ease the pain. He worriedly asked for you, but he only saw you shooking your head.

thxxxx walls w??? ????? us fxx?? '????y!

The gate opened; but you couldn't see the inside because of the pain on your head. Images flashed in your mind, but you couldn't understand them or remember them— just as they came, they left.

"Is that a kid with them?"

"Pft, just like every time, nothing changed."

What was in the commander's mind was what they could do with you— he knew how ruthless the Military Police was. Giving you to them would be not a good future for you, who knows what they could do to a child. The best decision was to cover your presence from them, just like he did in the past.

The people dispersed, murmuring unkind things to the soldiers. The commander stopped in track, ordering everyone to return to the barracks. The man approached Erwin, who was trying to comfort you, failing to do so.

"What are we going to do with him? He has no home to return to, and he doesn't remember anything." Shadis closed his eyes, thinking. "We should take him to Jaeger, first..."

"But, after that, what will happen to him? Are you going to notify the Military Police?" Erwin asked, getting off from his horse, helping you to do so as well.

"No. Who knows what they will do to a child."

Both of them talked about what would be good for you, and they didn't notice a woman who was prying into their conversation, looking at your small form hiding behind the blonde's leg. She could notice how uncomfortable and tensed you looked; she could see you were in pain.

The woman thought for a moment— she didn't mean to pry, but seeing the little boy like made her mother instincts kick in. A strong desire to protect you overcame her, and she decided what to do.

Approaching the two males, she quietly spoke, "Hello, gentlemen?" Her voice made them turn at her in confusion, and she proceed, "I didn't mean to pry, but hearing about this child's state has made me preoccupied... And I couldn't help but ask what would you do to him?"

The two men eyed each other, taken aback from the woman's presence. The commander spoke, "we are figuring out his safety in the walls, ma'am. His health comes first, so—"

"I can take care of him if I'm allowed, sir." The woman suddenly said, surprising them. "And if he wants to, of course." She smiled at you, and you couldn't help to feel calmer by the warm gesture.

The commander knew this was a lucky shot— nobody was that caring on these walls, not even for kids who didn't have a home. He knew this was the only chance he had for you, so he accepted. He talked about your situation with the woman, who name was Beatrice, and she understood completely.

The woman approached you and crouched to be at you height, and softly spoke, "Hello, my name is Beatrice, dear. I heard you don't remember your name, is that right?" you shook your head, looking carefully at her. She smiled, "that's fine. See, we are thinking you could come with me— I can help you out."

You were unsure, but the woman made you felt safe, just like Erwin. You gripped the blond's clothes, trying to think what would be best for you. Erwin saw your behavior, and he patted your head and whispered, "you can trust her."

Beatrice lend her hand to you, "have you heard of apple pies? I make the best. Maybe you would like them."

Slowly, your grip on Erwin loosed, and you took the woman's hand, making her smile. You don't know what was she talking about, but it sounded nice anyways. You turned to Erwin, who was smiling at you.

"Am I going to see you again, Mr. Erwin?"

The blond was taken aback from the question, but smiled nevertheless, "of course."

The answer calmed you, and you muttered a thanks for their help, hearing a "no problem, kid" from the commander. Beatrice and you began to walk, leaving the place. You couldn't help to turn and wave at the men, receiving the same gesture in return.

"Don't worry, dear. We will figure everything out."

_________________ 【warnings/clarifications】 → This story will contain BL themes (Boys Love). So, as you may know, this will be focused with the boys. → There could be lime scenes. → There will be manga spoilers in the future, will give spoiler warning if so! → There could be some OCness and fanservice... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) * The reader's eyes have "spirals" on the pupils, just like this. The eye's color is your choice, of course. :p