Latest Posts by megafluffyduck - Page 3

Regulus, coming up to Sirius' room before a family dinner: Are you—

Regulus: You're really wearing that?

Sirius, in a crop top and skinny leather trousers: What?

Regulus: That colour is horrible on you.

Sirius: ...

Regulus: *makes a face and leaves*

Sirius: I'm your older brother! You should respect me. Stop being a bully!!

Regulus:

Sirius, bursting into Regulus's room: At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?

Regulus: At the hands of your sibling?

Sirius: An accident.

Regulus: Yeah, it will be an 'Accident'.

Sirius, at Regulus's funeral: Can I have a moment alone with him, please?

*everyone leaves*

Sirius, leaning over the casket: I know you're not really dead, dipshit.

Regulus, from inside: Yeah bro, no shit.

some SUPER ROMANTIC cards to send to your significant other 💋💋💖😍🥰 merry valentines day 💓💓💘

regulus brews wolfsbane potion for remus and gives him a bell like those apps that remind you to drink water

wjdhhddj i just know regulus went up to remus and just flat out asked if he could do it and remus was like uHm

regulus is that one asshole who just casually coughs up blood sometimes. everyone around him is very freaked out and hes just like "yeah this is a normal tuesday dont even worry abt it"

HE WOULD

Regulus jokingly claims he can fist fight a troll to a stand still until a Troll appears on grounds and his house pushes him before it because "Black never jokes. If he claims he can take the troll he be right" and that's How Regulus fist fought a troll and somehow didn't die. He never made jokes after that again.

PATHALOGICAL LIAR REGULUS HEHEHD

Regulus knows how to use a long sword and when asked why he always answers "Uncle Alphard used to tell me I would be beating back suitors with a stick. But a stick isn't very effective so I learn how to use a blade instead. I am prepared for those harlots"

listen. regulus with dual swords

idk if anyone has mentioned these here, but my #1 regulus songs are twin size mattress / the front bottoms and trauma / NF

twin size mattress fits so welllll,,,i remember listening to it all the time

if you had to pick a song (or more than one, if you’d like) to describe regulus, what would it be?

this is totally not a ploy to get some song recs

- 🪐

okay i have a lot few so bare with me 

the beach by the neighbourhood, i don’t want to set the world on fire by the ink spots, exit music for a film by radiohead, pigeon by cavetown, body by mother mother, chlorine by twenty one pilots, high enough by k.flay, pork soda by glass animals, take a slice by glass animals, everything moves by bronze radio returns, 

i don’t care by fall out boy, burning pile by mother mother, holiday by lil nas x, wolf by first aid kit, blood // water (both normal and acoustic version) by grandson, little dark age by MGMT, running with the wolves by AURORA, sucker for pain by lil wayne, 

stranger by amber run, smile by lily allen, screw loose by lime cordiale, here comes the end by gerard way, bad bad things by AJJ, good from far by lime cordiale, grind me down (jawster remix) by lilianna wilde, mama’s gun by glass animals, touch-tone telephone by lemon demon, familia by nicki minaj and anuel AA, born bold by valley of wolves, i’m yer dad by GRLwood, nice guy by GRLwood, ava by famy, i am defiant by the seige, my own by whitaker and always gold by radical face

SORRY THERES SO MANY ITS JUST THEY ALL REMIND ME OF REGULUS HAH

i tend to picture reg as like, just noticeably shorter than sirius (like two inches?) but this raised a picture in my mind: after the cave episode, he starts wearing boots with huge soles, not necessarily visibly heeled, but that still make him significantly taller 😔👌

😭😭 he finds charms to help him out

Sirius would 1000% support regulus and his arsonist ways

Reg: “Siriiiiii! I’m bored!”

Si: “Well what do you wanna do?”

R: “I wanna make an explosion”

S: “...okay... how about we go on the roof and light some fireworks?”

R: “boooooriiiiing. Been there done that. I need something more exciting than that!”

S: “hooooow abooooout.... we light fireworks in the kitchen?”

R: “Y E S”

i love tiny arsonist feral reg

submitted post

We need to rate Regulus’ sex-appeal in relation to his Hogwarts Professor position.

Astronomy 

Feral Stoner Regulus, the galaxies glitter in his eyes, always telling funny stories about his childhood that have the children go (O_o)??? How are you alive???

Charms

It’s in the subject’s name. Charms Professor Black is simply Prince Charming. Students have been known to faint when he smiles. He is what Gilderoy Lockhart tried so hard to be.

DADA

If you don’t want to get railed through the mattress by Professor Black it’s because you want to be the one doing the railing. (Or are not attracted to Tall Dark Handsome and Smart men and that’s valid.)

Herbology

Soft boy! Soft!!!!! So soft! And then he pulls out a flesh-eating plant that is both poisonous and venomous and goes :) I fed my friend’s cheating significant other to this cutie. He’s very openly an arsonist, but everybody is too busy simping to take notice.

History of Magic

He’s That Bitch. He’s got the tea and he’s spillin’. Keeping Up With Kardashians who, Lancelot and Guinevier went to the gardens UNCHAPERONED and oh yeah student A’s dad made out with B’s aunt in fifth grade. She was already engaged. The SCANDAL. Wears fitted vests and rolls his sleeves up.

Potions

Cryptid Regulus. Hair in a ponytail to keep it out of his face, black nail polish. Rumors are that he’s a Vampire. Nobody would mind if he took a bite.

Transfiguration

Feral Regulus. Probably rants about animal cruelty every once in a while as he’s poking the mouse/goblet with his wand. Will throw hands whenever, wherever, with whoever. Secretly a muggle boxing champion.

Flying/Quidditch

NYOOOMMMM Broom enthusiast and a broom snob. He snatches the Snitch and the spectators’ hearts alike!

Ancient Runes

VERY sexy. In the classic Professor Indiana Jones style.

Arithmacy

Stoner Regulus but like… pervitin in his morning coffee vibrating out of his body Regulus. Chalk powder everywhere… but is it really chalk powder??

Care Of Magical Creatures

Actual soft boy, but with Bounty Hunter Aesthetics. Combat boots and fingerless gloves. He’s too powerful

Divination 

Stoner Regulus, always halfway in the astral plane. Flowy hair, soft deep voice, lips gloss and painted nails. DEAD

Muggle Studies 

Practical lessons include posting tweets. The THIRST he gets. He reads them on his YouTube channel BuzzFeed style, completely deadpan.

Ancient Studies

Arsonist Regulus. The course includes making their own mummy. The disappearances are completely coincidental why do you ask

Alchemy

It’s a gang. They make drugs and forge money and Regulus is the king of the underworld.

Art/Muggle Art

They paint nibbling on brownies. Some of the sculptures *might* be hiding a murder weapon. Also, art forgery and theft. If the museum didn’t notice the switcharoo, you passed.

Music/Muggle Music 

Voice of an angel. The range. The passion. He has a cult following him.

Ghoul Studies

Jock Goth Regulus, probably does weed with Peeves.

—

the first one punched me in the face and the others?? just kept on punching?? this is fantastic

waiting and wanting

im not sure whether I should be proud of this or horrified but thank you to @regulusprompts for this

if anyone wants me to write any of the other chaotic regulus things from over there lemme know

and now may i present the story of regulus and the inferius, a 666 word story

—————

The life of an inferius was boring, that much he knew. Long ago, he had been alive, been– well, he couldn’t really remember. He remembered walking through the streets, feeling the warm sun on his skin, smiling at a pretty girl as he passed by. 

He could hardly remember how the clouds looked, how the warm summer breeze through his hair felt, what it was like to feel alive. All he had known for the past fifteen years was icy water, floating in the bottom of some lake. There were other inferi around, but inferi generally weren’t the best conversation partners, and so his social life was lacking. Majorly.

So because there weren’t cute guys or pretty girls to spend his time with, he spent most of it daydreaming. 

(Sometimes he wondered what his name was. Gregor perhaps? He felt like a Gregor. Gregor it was.)

Sometimes he tried to think if he had had a family, friends, a significant other perhaps while he was alive. He always came up blank. 

Gregor didn’t know if most inferi had goals or not. The dead bodies floating around him didn’t seem to overflow with ambition, but who knew? He had never actually talked to them. And so Gregor decided that for year 16 of being an inferi, something would change. He would find someone, either to date or to attack, whichever he felt like. The months of 1979 went by slowly, not a person entering the cold and dreary cave that had become his home, and Gregor slowly began to lose hope.

But then, October 20th came around and everything changed. The Dark Lord entered the cave, accompanied by a small and shriveled up creature. He racked his brains trying to think of what it was, but couldn’t think of anything. He had been dead long enough that thinking had become hard. He vaguely heard the Dark Lord talking, calling it a house elf– what a strange name, honestly– and then realized the creature was being forced to drink the potion. 

He could feel the inferi around him stirring eagerly, sensing that another was about to meet their doom in the watery depths, and Gregor joined them, lurking just under the surface of the water and waiting. The moment the creature’s hands broke the surface, he reached out and grabbed the house elf’s wrist, pulling him under. He had been the first to grab him, though he was soon surrounded by other inferi, all eagerly pulling the elf down towards into the murky depths. 

Gregor could see the creature struggling to breathe, and relished that there would be another soon joining them in the lake, though this one wasn’t exactly his type. And then the small creature twisted and vanished.

He had lost his chance. Even if the creature wasn’t really the sort of person he was looking for, Gregor would’ve taken it. But now, he was alone again.

The days crept by until November 2nd. A day that had started out as uninteresting as the others became the best day of his undead inferius life. The creature returned, accompanied not by the Dark Lord, but by a boy, looking perhaps a few months younger than Gregor was when he died. 

And if the house elf wasn’t Gregor’s type, this boy definitely was. Silky black hair curling softly at his shoulders, a dark black ensemble trimmed with emerald green, strong dragonhide boots. Silver grey eyes. 

This was the one that he wanted. 

Gregor waited, his anticipation building as the strange boy drank the potion. As he crawled to the shore. His hand had barely touched the water when Gregor moved, holding the boy’s wrist tightly as he fought.

His efforts were in vain.

Gregor felt more than he had in years. Perhaps he wasn’t a proper inferius, being able to feel at all, but as he held onto the strange boy and pulled him down deeper into the water, all he could feel was exultation. 

The boy was his.

While i realize this is not very possible, i just can't shake the idea of feral!regulus and slightlysane!bellatrix going on a horcrux hunt imagine the chaos lmao

the drama 😭😭

walburba and sirius: *arguing/fighting/screaming about muggle rights. // Orion: *silently sipping tea*. //. Reg: "Did you know that a jellyfish's mouth is also its anus?"

JDHDJDBSH orion just slowly looks at him

i vibe with ikea regulus so much (love that idea so much) but as a barista lemme just say regulus gives me major barista vibes. like he enjoys making drinks but also he wants to beat tf out certain customers. he also definitely complains about the music playing in cafe 24/7 and will hop on aux as soon as his boss leaves. he definitely drinks iced drinks all year round. and while some would say he drinks black iced coffee i would disagree. he definitely drinks iced lavender lattes with oat milk or cold brew with oat milk and vanilla.

regulus starts spelling peoples names wrong on purpose and starts to hate mainstream music with a passion

submitted posts

Regulus would punt baby Voldemort in the afterlife like a soccer ball

—

HE SEE’S THAT LIL NASTY ASS THING TAHT WAS UNDER THE BENCH AND BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF IT

Everybody's so mad about Mud Eater Reg and People Licker Reg like do you people not have siblings? Like I would be catfighting with my bro and he's stronger, so when he had me pinned down and I couldn't squirm away, I just spat up at his face. It was very effective, even if some of it landed back on my face. And if you're telling me Slytherin Reg wouldn't bite, lick and spit and pull hair to win a fight I don't know what to tell you

i think everyone’s gone feral over mud eating regulus is because like. it’s regulus. when you think of him you think of cool, calm, collected but here here r making him into a fucking Goober

AU where Regulus is a natural Legilimens. He just doesn't react to reading people minds and stay silent most of the time. He get overwhelmed easily in crowded so he avoids them. Everyone sees him as a timid little boy until they spend time with him. Then he's spewing every dark thought they ever have as if though he uncovered it by "investigating" them. They think he knows all and is a dark lord in the making when in reality Regulus has to sit though hours of his classmatea thoughts. If he has to listen to James Potter swoon over Lily Evans while At the same time listen Sirius weird crush on the professor he's going to scream. Not to mention everyone is thirsty for either him or his brother and he CAN HEAR ALL OF IT.

one day he snaps and just says “shut up!” and the persons like “i ain’t say anything 😳” and he’s like “uhhuh. sure you didn’t you trick ass bitch”

i was reading through all the asks of reg surviving the cave and like y'know there's a bunch of fics where he and sirius meet up and they try to get horcruxes safely or whatever but I'm just imagining regulus keeps on doing the most wild stunts and lighting things on fire and going wild and everyone keeps thinking he keeps dying but somehow he's never dead and no one knows what's happening because I saw him die but I also just saw him on the news setting fire to the church of england and i also got a call that the malfoy estate was burned down moony what's happening help

regulus: you should have killed me when you had the chance.

i think reg would be the type of guy to refer to his friends as his girlfriends/wives/harem, but only his guy friends

"yeah, this is my wife, barty"

HAHAHA YES

one time i had a dream that my family was at a dinner party with the blacks for some reason and i had to sit next to regulus. in the dream, i didn't know him so i thought he was super boring and quiet but i quickly found out that he was the deadpan chaotic type? like he was constantly muttering absolutely wild stuff under his breath with a completely straight face and whenever that happened i'd look at him like yo tf and he'd just look innocently back at me like he never even said anything. like my guy would just casually refer to large sums of money as "smackarackaroonies" in his ridiculously posh accent with the air of someone discussing the weather and act like it was a completely normal thing to say. i was in tears lmfao

OP YOU MET REGULUS BLACK HOW DOES IT FEEL

Regulus Black owning a bookstore that everyone assumes is a front. It is. He has a underground House elf smothering ring under his store to free house elves. Also he really likes to read.

omg it’s like kinda like aberforths hogs place and it has lil tunnels in it

regulus just pulling up to history of magic and shooing binns away as he takes over the lesson. “I’ve provided you with my own mini textbook as hogwarts lacks content about house elfs and their history, a very important history- No avery i don’t care if your father says they’re purpose is to wipe your ass or whatever open the damn textbook!”

💀💀 ‘purpose is to wipe your ass’ lmaoo

also i can’t tell if this is like in harry’s era or if it’s back when regulus was a teenager like he just gets up mid-lesson and is like yknow what i’m the teacher now

Front Page: Professor Regukus Black is the fist professor who has been hired for a second year in the Defense against the Dark Arts position and everyone wants to know how he's done it. We have asked the man himself and this was his qoute: " The position was said to be curse so I hired a professional. We literally have a entire career path dedicated to breaking curse. It wasn't even that hard to find a solution, you people are just dumb." He made our reporter cry.

JAHSJSHA

voldemort:

I've always had this version of Regulus in my head that's completely against most fandom perspective of him. Instead of being the calm collected or the scared little brother, I see him being a lot like Bellatrix. A child with crack head energy since the day he was born. Where Sirius holds back with cocky taunts Regulus runs head first screaming at the top of his lugs and his robes on fire that he himself set.

oh my god

crack head energy regulus + the flamethrower

guys

What if Tonks wasn't the only Black that was accident prone. What if Regulus was a total clumsy fellow but he played if off. "Shit you okay" "yeah why wouldn't I be?" "You just rolled down the entire Quidditch Bleachers" "yeah and?" "...." while on the inside Regulus is crying and trying not to show how much that hurt

HAHAH REGULUS FALLS OVER IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE GREAT HALL AND JUST GLARES AT SOMEBODY WHEN THEY TRY TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT

Listen anon said retail is Regulus' villain origin story but it was also literally part of Voldemort's villain origin story

stop i can’t

voldemort turned evil cause he had to listen to all i want for christmas 257 times during christmas season